The [[OverarchingVillain corrupting forces]] influencing every tragedy throughout the narrative. Initially introduced as rival mob bosses to the Midnight Crew, the heads of The Felt are actually multiversal threats that abuse Paradox Space's policy of predestination to ensure their victories. These three are, respectively, the main antagonists of Act 5, Act 6, and Act 7. As such, each one is a WalkingSpoiler, more so than any other character throughout ''{{Webcomic/Homestuck}}'', so browse with caution


[[folder:Doc Scratch]]
!!Doc Scratch


->[-'''''Webcomic/ParadoxSpace'' Appearances''': "Hand Made in Alternia | "Horse Play" | "The Inaugural Death of Mister Seven"-]

A very mysterious gentleman whose goal is to bring about the end of the universe, thus summoning an omnipotent EldritchAbomination. The First Guardian of Alternia and is thus extremely powerful and ''extremely'' intelligent. He was created by the trolls' Black Queen, using genetic code scribed unconsciously by the trolls as well as Vriska's magic cueball and a dimensionally displaced Lil' Cal.

Communicates in [all white text, with perfect capitalization, punctuation, and grammar and rather formal diction, using no tags before his lines.]

'''[[SelfDemonstrating/DocScratch > Be Doc Scratch.]]'''
* AbusiveParents: As the Handmaid's father figure, and likewise towards Vriska.
* AffablyEvil: He casually tells Spades Slick to help himself to some candy before they continue their negotiations, which consists of Scratch beating him until Slick agrees to do what he wants.
* AGodIAmNot: "[I have power and knowledge far surpassing a god. But I am not one.]"
* {{Angrish}}: When he gets angry, his chat color changes from white to [[ Text To Run Away From Really Fast]].
* AnArmAndALeg: Hussie rips off one of his legs during an attempt to save the Handmaid. He dies mere minutes later thanks to the Kids' actions, so it's not really much of an inconvenience.
* {{Asexuality}}: In the sense that he can't reproduce, thus he has no reproductive feelings.
-->TT: And does this mean you are attracted to me?\\
TT: Suddenly this conversation is kind of terrible.\\
[Of course I am not. Not in the way you mean.]\\
[And anyway, you are applying standards of conduct frowned upon for your kind which make no sense to apply to me.]\\
[[[DeadpanSnarker I am an immortal entity with a large cue ball for a head]], [[EnforcedTrope and no biological means of reproduction]].]
* BadassBoast: "[I have power and knowledge far surpassing a god.]"
* BaitTheDog: DS is presented at first as a gentlemanly villain with a good sense of humor. Then we find out what he's been doing to the Handmaid.
* BatmanGambit: States that his MO is to "nudge" people down routes that they would have taken anyway. Makes sense, considering the [[MeaningfulName cue ball's goal is to 'nudge' the other pool balls into pockets...]]
** The End of Act 5 proves that Scratch is the undisputed master, by volume if not by success. ''Each and every playable character'', Jack Noir'''s''' included, were being set up in order to help him create the Green Sun, when everyone who knew about the Green Sun thought that they were trying to destroy it. And he ''never once lied''.
** Instead of killing each other like he wanted, Slick and Snowman have a hatred-induced make out session with each other. When Doc Scratch intervened, he gave Slick the gun he ultimately used to kill Snowman anyway, showing that [[ this was his intention all along.]]
---> [But when that bullet clears the barrel, it won't be my finger on the trigger. I'm a facilitator, not an assassin.]
* BattleAura: Acquires one when beating the ever-loving hell out of Spades Slick.
* BerserkButton:
** When he discovers that Vriska has one of his magic cueballs, he reacts... badly.
** Also, when Slick destroys his clock.
--->[[[spoiler:[[YouHaveGotToBeKiddingMe Oh, for crying out loud.]] I can tolerate many things from a guest. Curt manners. Egregious womanizing. Murdering the help. Casual arson. Even [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking atrocious candy bowl etiquette]]. But it is the desecration of a priceless timepiece where I must draw the line. I'm afraid I must now insist that you take your beating ''quite'' personally.]]]
* BigBad: Of Act 5, before his death.
* TheBlank: As The Felt's cueball, he has no facial features whatsoever.
* BreakingTheFourthWall: Suddenly and completely takes over as the narrator twice in the story. The text even becomes white to show this.
* BrutalHonesty: Unlike Hussie, he doesn't screw around with wordplay or otherwise try to downgrade serious occurrences with comedy while narrating. His narration of what we would've seen if Disc Two wasn't damaged in his own words: Rose dies, John doesn't, the end.
* TheChessmaster: Seems have been orchestrating all sorts of events from behind the scenes (most notably, the entire Green Sun incident). He even has [[ChessMotifs models of Skaia]] on which he plays complex games.
* TheCoatsAreOff: Planning to get physical with his guest Spades Slick, [[ he removes his coat]].
* CompleteImmortality: He cannot be injured in any fashion, and is a TimeAbyss that has existed for over a billion years (or 612 million solar sweeps). Even his eventual "death" is still ambiguous enough to suggest he's still around in some sense.
* TheCorrupter: He's one of these on a cosmic scale, manipulating sessions into guaranteed failure so he can warp them into twisted, sociopathic killing pens designed to produce "ideal" players...whose actions only create another failed session.
* CrypticConversation: As befitting the cue ball's role of nudging things. "Don't turn your back on the body". WHICH BODY, Scratch? WHICH ONE?
* DeadpanSnarker: Usually.
* DeathSeeker: His death is a necessary step in summoning Lord English.
* DoNotTauntCthulhu: When he attempts to make amends with Vriska and implies that she will come across a monopoly of misfortune if she refuses, her only response is a torrent of childish insults. Rejected, he almost-outright states that Vriska will not survive the destruction her actions will cause. She didn't.
** Given his omniscience and role in preserving the Alpha timeline, this may have been nothing more than an attempt to slip in a barb on Vriska. He knew she wouldn't act differently, and his job was to preserve the cascade of misfortune that brought about Lord English--but he left her with the blame for it.
* TheDragon: Of a sort to Lord English, even though we never see them together.
* TheEasyWayOrTheHardWay: [[ Presents this option to his guest]], even though he knows it'll be the hard way.
* EvilGloating: [[[spoiler:S u c k e r s.]]]
* EvilMentor: He's the one who's responsible for post-Scratch Alternia's whole CrapsackWorld[=/=]TheSpartanWay[=/=]TheEmpire thing through the use of Aradia's ancestor, as explained [[ here]].
* EvilUncle: In Act 5 he asks Rose to think of him as "one of your kindly human uncle figures." [[BrickJoke Much later]], in Act 6 Act 6 Act 5, Lord English is revealed to be a sort of FusionDance between Caliborn, Arquiusprite (itself a fusion between Equius and Dirk's Auto-Responder), and part of Gamzee. The Act is followed up a flash entitled "MSPA Reader: Mental breakdown", which shows that since the Auto-Responder is an ArtificialIntelligence [[CloningBlues based on Dirk's brain patterns]], it can be considered Rose's uncle. The flash also suggests that the Auto-Responder is the basis for Scratch's personality - so yes, Scratch is kind of like Rose's uncle!
* ExactWords: His M.O. for conning his marks. None of his direct statements are lies (with occasional exception made in the short term for jokes) except by omission, but he leads others astray with implications, hypotheticals, and generally presenting just enough information to lead his listener to the wrong conclusion.
** He wasn't kidding when he said he was "an excellent host"...
* ExpressiveMask: Normally blank white, but sometimes it displays images.
* FamousLastWords: [[[spoiler:S u c k e r s.]]] [[TheChessmaster A perfect summary of what he made everyone.]]
* FauxAffablyEvil: He's a SoreLoser, [[KickTheDog abuses the Handmaid]], and is generally just a huge dick. His last words to Gamzee further enforce this by what he thinks of them all.
* {{Foreshadowing}}: [[ He always claimed to be a magnificent host.]]
* FourthWallObserver: He knows the viewers have control over ''Homestuck'' through commands, not to mention he speaks directly to us. At one point, he even has the "disc" for ''Homestuck''.
* FriendlyEnemy: To everyone to an extent, but especially Spades Slick.
* GambitRoulette: Justified - his plans ''can't'' fail, not because of their fiendish cleverness so much as the fact that anything which would deviate from the alpha timeline -- i.e. the one resulting in his creation and his death as Lord English's host -- creates an alternate timeline that is doomed to inevitable destruction. In other words, his plans are guaranteed success because YouCantFightFate.
* GigglingVillain: "[Haa haa, hee hee, hoo hoo.]"
* HollywoodDressCode: Invokes TheMafia with his suspenders and [[ removing his jacket]] before beating his guest.
* HostileShowTakeover[=/=]InterfaceScrew: At one point he hijacks the narration and the MSPA site is changed to reflect this, having a green color scheme. It's impossible to view those pages any other way. He also changes the site's banner to reflect the events in the room as they happen while the comic continues.
* HumanoidAbomination
* KansasCityShuffle: Virtually nobody ''trusts'' him, but everyone falls for his schemes.
* KarmaHoudini: While he does get something of a KarmicDeath, he essentially [[TheBadGuyWins got everything that he wanted done]] [[ThanatosGambit from being offed]].
* KickTheDog: His treatment of Aradia's ancestor definitely qualifies.
* KilledOffForReal: As a prerequisite for summoning Lord English, Doc Scratch's head cracks open and his body is shredded apart soon after Hussie's presence leaves him a lifeless doll. He has no alternate universe counterpart appear, he leaves no body left behind to resurrect, and any attempt to revive him via time travel would doom the timeline since doing so would prevent Lord English from existing, and he has used his own time travel to make himself an essential part of the alpha timeline.
* LivingWeapon: [[ Admits to being his master's weapon]].
* ManipulativeBastard: From the end-of-Act 5.2 flash '''[S] Cascade''', when it's revealed that '''The Tumor''' doesn't destroy the '''Green Sun''' but ''creates/created it'', that he tricked everyone into creating it, all technically without lying at all. Best summarized with his last words, to Gamzee:
-->TC: that's all done motherfuckin white texted bro\\
(mystery text)\\
(mystery text)\\
TC: oh yeah?\\
TC: that we motherfuckin are?\\
TC: :o?\\
[[[spoiler:S u c k e r s .]]]
* ManInWhite: His pants and his coat are pure white, but his shirt and tie are different shades of green.
* ManOfWealthAndTaste: He's more or less analogous to a devil (and Hussie has even [[ outright called him]] a {{Satan}} analogue), but he's still classy.
* MeaningfulName: He existed in Alternia's post-Scratch timeline, but not in its pre-Scratch timeline. In other words, he was only created because of the Scratch.
** Also compare to [[TheDevil Old Scratch]]. "Doc" comes from Doc Holiday, from whom Andrew is also reportedly descended.
** His name is also consistent with the Felt's billiards theme- potting the cue ball is referred to as a 'Scratch'. Given his goal is to be 'potted', his goal is to make the protagonists 'scratch' by killing him.
* MediumAwareness: He's not only ''aware'' of his medium, but he takes control of it at one point in the comic. [[TheFourthWallWillNotProtectYou This holds unsettling implications]].
* MergerOfSouls: English's soul (which Scratch hosts) is a combination of Caliborn, Gamzee, Equius, and Dirk's Auto Responder. Scratch takes most of his personality from the latter two, mainly Dirk's cool and collected way of talking combined with Equius's condescending politeness and refusal to use swear words.
* MistakenForPedophile: His [[ conversation]] with Rose. He's quick to point out that, although he claims to enjoy the company of young ladies, every lady is young relative to him. He doesn't really stop giving off those overtones though, and intentionally so, as stated below.
** Hussie decided to make him come off as "a creeper," [[ after he noticed that Scratch was always spending so much time with the girls and almost none with the boys]], though, due to his non-biological nature, he's not a ''literal'' pedophile. Still, it retroactively makes the scene where he [[ distracts Aradia & Terezi]] funnier.
* MundaneUtility: Hangs his coat on the map of Skaia.
* MorallyAmbiguousDoctorate: Although ironically, his actual "doctor" job, that of fixing scratches on discs, is mundane and unobjectionable.
* NamesToRunAwayFromReallyFast: "Old Scratch" is one of many nicknames for {{Satan}}.
* NoBiologicalSex: As mentioned here:
--> [I am an immortal entity with a large cue ball for a head, and no biological means of reproduction.]
* NoHoldsBarredBeatdown: And he hopes that Spades Slick took it ''quite'' personally. [[ BREAK.]] [[ HEADS.]]
* NonHumanHead: Has a large cueball in place of a head; it cracks open after he dies.
* NotSoOmniscientAfterAll: He also had a hole in his perception surrounding Equius's ancestor. It's unknown whether or not this is related to his (and his ancestor's pre-Scratch) role as the Heir of Void.
* NotSoStoic: Edges toward this whenever the gaps in his omniscience are made apparent. Flipped the fuck out when he learned that Vriska had one of his magic cue balls. Also [[ freaks out]] (although not nearly as much) at Snowman and Spades Slick's hate snog.
* TheOmnipotent: Scratch's power output exceeds the size of his universe, so he's all-powerful in practice.
* TheOmniscient: Well, ''mostly'' omniscient. [[ He admits that his understanding is limited to the alpha timeline,]] though if he comes across something he doesn't know naturally, he's usually able to figure it out pretty quick. He still needed Terezi to tell him how Vriska was coming so close to beating him in their games, and he seems to have a lot of trouble when it comes to Spades Slick.
* OnlyKnownByTheirNickname: He indicates to Slick that "Doc Scratch" is just a nickname.
* PercussiveMaintenance: When the [[SesquipedalianLoquaciousness narrow fenestrated wall]] displays Spades Slick and Snowman's hate snog, he starts banging on it to change the view.
* PerversePuppet: Like Lil' Cal before him. He even inherited his ectobiological father's laugh.
* PetTheDog: He served as a guardian for Kanaya for some time, and even took her to Prospit so her dream self could awaken. Though this is as a part of his agenda, he at least took care of her better than he did the Handmaid.
* PhysicalGod: He and the other First Guardians (like Becquerel) are nearly omnipotent. Because Scratch was also created with a prophetic cue ball, he's nearly omniscient as well.
* PunnyName: Scratch is a pool term for pocketing a cue ball. Extends to Sburb too, as the term "Scratch" is used for a hard reset of a game. Finally, he's able to fix a scratched game disc, making him a doctor who treats scratches.
* RedOniBlueOni: Blue to Lord English's red.
* RelationshipSabotage: Auspisticizes between Slick and Snowman, as seen [[ here]].
* RevolversAreJustBetter: Has one, and a holster to put it in.
* SchizoTech: Uses a typewriter to communicate with the trolls, who are using an online chat client.
* SharpDressedMan: He has his get-up from his birth!
* SicklyGreenGlow: The Color of his BattleAura
* ShoutOut: Partially one to Franchise/TheSlenderManMythos, but aside from being evil faceless functionally omniscient sharply dressed men who have a special attraction to children, they don't have much in common. Scratch for one is only 4 feet tall and prefers talking to people or manipulating them as opposed to stalking them.
* SmugSuper: The fact that he calls everyone who isn't omniscient [[[spoiler:S u c k e r s.]]] should clue you in.
* SoreLoser: He considers people who don't have his near-omniscience to be [[[spoiler:S u c k e r s.]]], but when Vriska gets a magic cue-ball which gives her just a fraction of his near-omniscience ''[[BerserkButton he flips the fuck out]]''. And if someone foils one of his {{Batman Gambit}}s by not acting like he predicted he blames ''them'' for it and beats them senseless.
* StealthPun:
** Scratch is around 600 million years old, making him [[{{Satan}} Old Scratch]].
** As he often implied: [I am an excellent host.]
* SuperStrength: [[ There goes a perfectly good horse hitcher]].
* SuperToughness: Can literally not be harmed at all, so long as the Green Sun shines.
* TechnicalPacifist: A villainous example, in that he makes it a point not to kill anybody himself, but has no qualms against having others kill for him, even going so far as to equip Slick with a gun so he can shoot Snowman.
--> [I'm a facilitator, not an assassin.]
* ThanatosGambit: His death is the final step necessary for summoning Lord English, who bursts out of his corpse.
* ThemeNaming: Like Lord English, his name is a billiards term.
* TimeAbyss: He's almost as old as Alternia.
* {{Troll}}: Juuuuuust a bit. For example, after misleading the reader to the identity of his houseguest:
-->[Someone who would have suspected anyone else is a person I would also describe as a sucker.]\\
[Haa haa.]\\
[Hee hee.]\\
[Hoo hoo.]
** And then there's mean mind game he plays on Karkat where he tells him never to turn his back on the bodies--shortly before a few of them go missing.
* VillainsNeverLie:
-->[Deception is only necessary for those like you to achieve their objectives.]\\
[I play with my cards face up.]\\
[Isn't it funny how during our various matches, I can tell you what my moves will be in advance, and still win?]
** He later adds that he usually doesn't lie, except at short to middle term for the purpose of a joke or a prank. Note that he only considers it a lie if you don't find out.
** It should also be noted that in his chessmaster actions, he never actually ''lied''--not once. Rose just assumed they meant the same things. ''He even pointed this out to Rose specifically''.
** He also doesn't count lies of omission as lies: he can't tell you ''everything'', it would take too long. From his perspective, it's not his fault if you're asking the wrong questions.
* VoiceOfTheLegion: His [[ "angry voice"]] is implied to be this.
* WalkingSpoiler: It's difficult to describe him without spoiling the latter part of Act 5 Act 2, and how important he is in manipulating the plot.
* WeaksauceWeakness: He'll turn limp and lifeless if Creator/AndrewHussie is around, because he's only a puppet.
* WickedCultured: Types in a very sophisticated manner, wears a dashing suit, and lives in an elegant English-style home.

[[folder:Betty Crocker]]
!! Her Imperious Condescension[=/=]The Condesce[=/=]Betty Crocker


A tyrant who ruled the troll planet of Alternia with an iron fist, until Lord English forced her to jump ship to Earth. There, she began to re-establish her imperial regime by taking the name Betty Crocker and beginning a baking corporation that would grow into every major industry on the planet.

->talks with lazy diction and grammar and doesnt use punctuation
->appears to use feferis quirk when S)(OUTING FOR -EMP)(ASIS or capitalizing letters
->presumably also uses a lot of fish puns and tiara and goggles emotes 38T
->uses "gurl" a lot and sometimes speaks in large sparkly letters
* AllYourPowersCombined: Has all the psychic powers of the Troll Kids. One character even describes her as being like a villain with all the powers of the X-Men rolled into one.
* AnarchyIsChaos: The Draconian Dignitary says that she "seem[s] to revel in anarchy." However, as an iron-fisted tyrant, she's anything but a classical anarchist, reveling mostly in ruling over a broken and bloody social order.
* AnimeHair: Actually becomes her DistinguishingMark, see below.
* TheArk: Before departing for Earth, the Condesce gathered thousands of endangered species from her homeworld and loaded them into a "red space ark", apparently in order to repopulate them. She succeeded in repopulating the lusii (resulting in the significant numbers of them that roam Jake's island), but all of her efforts to resurrect the trolls themselves were immediately killed by the cloned Glb'goylb, for its own unknown reasons.
* AsskickingEqualsAuthority: She took the Alternian throne by defeating the previous Empress in combat and she personally assassinates any political threat she encounters.
* TheBeastmaster: As mentioned elsewhere, she can control animals just like Tavros and his ancestors. This extends to both God Cat and Jade (thanks to the latter being merged with Becquerel-in-sprite-form), and she exploits both to turn the First Guardians against the heroes.
* BeethovenWasAnAlienSpy: Her Imperious Condescension has an iron grip (with a healthy dosage of SubliminalSeduction) on post-Scratch Earth as Betty Crocker, who has taken over most facets of society.
* BeleagueredAssistant: To Lord English and she releases her frustration towards him by yelling at people or stabbing those who make a mistake while grooming her hair.
* BigBad: Of Act 6, though given that she's still in service of [[GreaterScopeVillain Lord English]]. Tellingly, Act 6 ends shortly after her demise.
* BlingOfWar: As the Condesce, she's decked out head to toe in jewelry and wields a fancy golden double trident. She continues the tradition as the Black Queen of Derse, with the addition of the Prototyping Ring (though as a simple, plain gold band it's barely a drop in the ocean on top of the rest of her bling).
* BrokenPedestal: Her pre-Scratch self Meenah thought she was awesome. Then Meenah found out that, while powerful and ruthless, the Condesce is still ultimately a slave to Lord English. Also, Meenah was deeply unsettled by what she did to Mituna's counterpart.
* TheCaligula: Went mad as the result of repeated botched attempts to recreate her old empire "in all its convoluted symbiotic glory." The Condesce ends up taking out her frustrations on humankind, of course.
* ChallengingTheChief: Earned her positon as the Troll Empress by [[KlingonPromotion killing her predecessor in single combat]], as is standard for fuschiabloods.
* ChekhovsGunman:
** Betty Crocker was first mentioned as John's arch nemesis [[ here]] when John [[ discovers that Fruit Gushers are a Betty Crocker product and flips out]]. It is [[ later revealed]] that she was Nanna Egbert and Grandpa Harley's adoptive mother, and that Grandpa Harley inherited her business empire. Then [[ Nannasprite tells a story]] in which it's revealed that she vanished without a trace, had many unspecified terrible secrets, and wasn't human.
** Her Imperious Condescension was first mentioned [[ here]] in a description of Feferi's status. The author of ''Homestuck'' mentioned [[ on the forum]] that she potentially survived the Vast Glub [[note]]Read the posts after that one too[[/note]]. Then in Act 5 she appears on panel and is confirmed to be Feferi's Ancestor. It is then revealed that she did survive the Vast Glub and is further implied to have become Betty Crocker.
** And now she's usurped the Black Queen and taken over Derse in the post-scratch Session.
* TheChessmaster: Her company sent Dave the Miracles Video two years before it would even exist, which Dave would later send to Gamzee, who would go on a rage-filled murder spree, and who also ended up ''causing the Universe Cancer to go terminal'' and ''creating Li'l Cal and Doc Scratch''. All that with a single video.
** Justifed in that she serves Lord English who is all about [[GambitRoulette convoluted plans]].
** Just to drive the point home, she becomes the [[ChessMotifs queen of Derse]] in the post-scratch session.
** And then there's her master stroke at the end of Act 6 Act 5, where she [[{{Pun}} prawns]] Jade & Jane, kicks Dirk outside the session, and captures Jake & Roxy.
* ChessMotifs: Her company's heavy use of red plays into her role of usurping the Black Queen, as red is often used interchangeably with black in traditional chess sets. (See also Literature/AliceInWonderland.)
* ComboPlatterPowers: While she herself has some 'life' related powers, she was given Clockwork Magyyks by Lord English. She also has the powers of many other trolls, including psychic powers such as Telekinesis & Eye Beams like Sollux and Aradia and their respective ancestors, mind control over animals like Tavros and The Summoner, and mind control over other sapient life forms like Mindfang and Vriska. These powers from other trolls portray themselves as a blinking zodiac symbol in her tiara. She also likely has exclusive powers as a fuchsia blood.
* CoolStarship: The Condesce's flagship, the Battleship Condescension.
* CorruptCorporateExecutive: To the extreme; through CrockerCorp, she eventually takes over the entire world.
* TheCorrupter: To Jane, post-scratch Earth, and possibly the entire post-scratch Session by becoming the queen of B2 Derse. Fully corrupts Jane and Jade at the end of Act 6 Act 5.
* DamageSpongeBoss: She spends most of her battle on Derse holding her arms up to endure Fraymotifs, God Tier attacks and Sprite attacks.
* DarkActionGirl: Normally prefers to delegate to underlings, but she's perfectly capable and willing to throw down herself when the situation warrants it.
* DistinguishingMark: Her AnimeHair. The first clue we have of her becoming the new Queen of Derse is Courtyard Droll mentioning the new Queen's grand and luxurious fluffy hair... [[CloudCuckoolander which he thinks is a hat]] (though hair is a foreign concept to carapace people).
* TheDogWasTheMastermind: Both Betty Crocker and Her Imperious Condescension were mentioned a few times but initially seemed to have no importance to the story whatsoever. Then Nanna said Betty Crocker wasn't human, and the rest spiraled from there.
* DragonWithAnAgenda: Does ''not'' appreciate being forced to work for Lord English, and discretely works against him at every opportunity. Her pushing the B2 kids to play Sburb so they can be strong enough to challenge her boss is probably the most blatant case of this.
* DuelToTheDeath: Fights and kills the Handmaid in one of these. Unfortunately for her, that's exactly what Scratch and Lord English needed to happen for their plans to advance.
* EnemyMine: What Calliope speculates she'll ultimately be for the human heroes. After she's fulfilled her obligation to ensure the continuation of Lord English's existence, she'll be free to turn on him, and she is even currently exploiting Roxy's power to that effect.
* EverythingsBetterWithSparkles: Loves purple glitter, filling the envelope she gave Roxy her secret orders in with it. Sometimes, she speaks in large fuchsia text that sparkles and glitters too.
* EvilCounterpart: While Feferi wanted to care for the weakest creatures of Alternia and undo the violent system, this ancestor of hers only wants power to amass wealth and dominate anyone she can, to the point she was unsatisfied with oppressing the trolls of Alternia and set her sights on every planet in her galaxy.
* EvilGloating: "S u c k a s"
* EvilIsHammy: She has a very strong presence.
* EvilIsPetty: She ordered humanity to stop reproducing - with SubliminalSeduction no less - apparently because she finds human sex {{Squick}}y.
* EvilMatriarch: Towards Feferi, whose GoalInLife is deposing her as Empress and revolutionizing Troll culture. She was also this by way of marrying into their family to John and Jade's grandparents (in the B1 universe) and Jane and Jake's (in the B2 universe).
%%* EvilMentor
%%* EvilOverlord
* EvilutionaryBiologist: When her original plans to repopulate her race went bust, she resorted to experimenting with splicing human and Alternian DNA.
* ExpospeakGag: B2!Crockercorp refers to properties like Olive Garden and Bac-Os as "Feeding Chamber" and "simulated livestock flakes."
* TheFaceless: Averted, her eyes are shown and she is shown out of her profile when she is revealed to be the new Black Queen.%% Mindfang had her eyes shown in Seer: Ascend.
* FinalBoss: For John, Rose, Roxy, and Jane. Her defeat also occurs at the end of [S] Collide, making her the last villain to be defeated before the kids can finally finish their game of Sburb.
%%* FluffyTamer: Glb'golyb being the Fluffy.
* FourEyesZeroSoul: Sports a sunglasses variant of Feferi's goggles. If you need a indication that she's a bad person... look literally anywhere else on this page.
* GodSaveUsFromTheQueen: Her Imperious Condescension is a pretty horrendous ruler. She flies around the universe, cordially greeting new civilizations, and leaves her vast armies to rip them apart after she leaves. She's mentioned early on as seriously wanting to kill Feferi to avoid having to compete with her for the throne, and it's mentioned later that she's fought and killed a number of potential successors in the past, giving them equal terms in battle ''only'' because her lusus demanded it. She also ran humanity into the ground by trying to integrate troll aspects into their society. [[AxCrazy She did not give a shit about this.]]
* GoodPowersBadPeople: She has mild Life powers, which contribute to her longevity.
** She also has clockwork majyyks, apparently taken from the Handmaid.
* GoodSmokingEvilSmoking: Shown smoking a cigar after her plans succeed.
* HeroKiller: She's all but stated to be personally responsible for the deaths of Rose, Dave, and Jade's B2 counterparts, and may have offed John's as well. In the Game Over timeline, she also kills Kanaya, B1 Rose, and Aranea, though the former two are eventually revived via CosmicRetcon.
* HistoricalVillainUpgrade: More like Unhistorical Villain Upgrade: in RealLife Betty Crocker wasn't a villain because she never existed, she was a character made up by the Washburn Crosby Milling Company in 1921. Here, that character is a cover for the Condesce as she uses the Crocker Corporation to take control of Earth, wipe out humanity, and re-establish the dictatorship she had over the trolls. Of course, that more or less means that she never existed in ''Homestuck'' either, unless you count "being an alias and disguise" as existing.
* IHaveManyNames: About six... [[NoNameGiven Yet all of them are titles or pseudonyms.]] Her true name is still unknown, though Aranea refers to her as by the name of her alternate, Meenah Peixes.
%%* ImmortalityBeginsAtTwenty
* ImpaledWithExtremePrejudice: After killing Rose via this method twice, she suffers this fate courtesy of Roxy and the Unbreakable Katana.
* JiveTurkey: She speaks extremely informally, as first shown when she interrupts the Dignitary to demand her ring back. Her chats don't end with "ceased trolling/pestering." They end with "logged da fuck out."
* KickTheDog: Killed her children's dog on the Post-Scratch Earth just to spite them, even though they were only infants. It ended up propelling the young Grandma Harley to become the first member of LaResistance against her.
* KickTheSonOfABitch: While both she and Aranea pulled {{Colony Drop}}s on surrounding planets, and that she's done much worse than Aranea in the past, her MamaBear moment with Jane, in conjunction with Aranea's chronologically-recent MoralEventHorizon, make Her Imperious Condescension look less like a monster when she kills Aranea and more like a total badass.
* LaughablyEvil: In Act 6, once you start to learn her true personality. [[ Best illustrated by her taste in mission briefings here]].
* LegallyDead: When Betty Crocker vanished without a trace on the pre-Scratch Earth, Grandpa Harley inherited her business empire. It's implied that she left that Earth to travel to the one created by the Scratch. Even on that Earth, she disappeared under mysterious circumstances, and by the modern day is considered even by the heiress of the Crocker brand to be just a mascot.
* LivingForeverIsAwesome: Right up until the Troll Empire was wiped out at least... but she seems to have her hands full on Earth and Derse.
* LongLived: Thanks to being a fuschiablood, the longest-lived troll caste, she's thousands of years old at minimum, and is possibly ([[VagueAge though not definitively]]) much, [[TimeAbyss much]] older than that. She can also grant this same long lifespan to others, and does so to prolong the Helmsman's life so he can pilot her ship.
* MamaBear: She was somehow even ''more'' furious than she already was when Aranea killed Jane.
* MeaningfulInitials: The '''''B'''attleship '''C'''ondescension'', a giant red fork to a certain batterwitch's big red spoon... and [[TheUnreveal big red fork]].
* MegaCorp: After the Scratch, Crockercorp owns not just everything that the real-world General Mills owns or has once owned (e.g. Olive Garden) but is also involved in software, computer hardware, space colonization, and Gushers. They even managed to install [[Series/DinersDriveInsAndDives Guy Fieri]] (of all people) as [[RichardNixonTheUsedCarSalesman Chief Justice of the Supreme Court]].
-->"THE HEINOUS BATTERWITCH HAS HER GNARLED CLAWS IN EVERYTHING. What do Gushers have to do with baked goods anyway??"
* MindOverMatter: Possesses the telekinetic powers normally associated with lowbloods like Aradia and Sollux. At minimum, she can fling the Statue of Liberty around like it's a plastic toy. Going full tilt, she's strong enough to move ''planets'' without visible effort.
* MoneyFetish: Like Meenah, Her Imperious Condescension loves gold and posts dollar signs all around her personal notebooks.
* MoreTeethThanTheOsmondFamily: Has adult-sized versions of Feferi's pointed teeth, and shows them off at any opportunity.
* NamesToRunAwayFromReallyFast: There aren't many titles more domineering and vain than "Her Imperious Condescension."
* NeckSnap: Offs Aranea in this fashion after overpowering her in a psionic duel and taking away the ring that grants the latter {{Immortality}}.
* NobleDemon: One of her goals is to resurrect her near-extinct race, which is surprisingly noble for someone as wicked as she is - though it's heavily implied that she wants to apply the same sort of reign as she did on [[CrapsackWorld Alternia]].
* NoblewomansLaugh: At the end of Meenah's theme song, "Hate You", she and Meenah are both heard laughing. Meenah's is a high pitched cackle, HIC's is more like one of these.
* OffingTheOffspring: The Condesce and her heirs are expected to DuelToTheDeath over the throne whenever an heir reaches adulthood.
* OrcusOnHisThrone: [[JustifiedTrope Justified]]. [[ The Condesce]] does all her delegating from her ship off in deep space. Her connection with her psychic lusus allows her to threaten entire castes of trolls with total extinction if they don't obey her, so she doesn't really need to go anywhere.
* PetTheDog: She did marry two iterations of Colonel Sassacre, which doesn't seem to be important to her agenda. At the very least, she loved him enough to let him die of old age/getting shot by his adoptive son rather than just kill him.
* PlanetDestroyer: While Aranea needs to mind control hundreds of alternate telepaths to throw a planet around, the Empress's psychic powers are so strong that she can singlehandedly send planets hurling through space to collide into other rogue planets, reducing them to nothing but ruins.
* PowerCopying: Stole the Handmaid's clockwork majkyks and unlocked MindManipulation abilities that allow her to control animals and people.
* PowerFloats: Uses [[MindOverMatter telekinesis]] as a means of NotQuiteFlight.
* PowerGlows: She has the same time majyyks aura that the Handmaid had, glowing in a rainbow while calling upon Lord English's power.
* PoweredByAForsakenChild: In the Troll universe, she exploited the Helmsman's psionic powers to make her ship the fastest in the universe, keeping him bound in place and using her powers to prolong his life. The narrative doesn't dwell on it long, but it's clearly an AndIMustScream scenario of the highest order.
* PsychicPowers: She's used technology to copy the psychic powers of several of the lower castes, including [[MindOverMatter Sollux's]], [[MindControl Vriska's]], and [[TheBeastmaster Tavros's]].
* RapunzelHair: [[ Her hair]] is so long and magnificent that the Courtyard Droll initially thought it was some sort of ornate hat.
%%* SadistTeacher: To Nanna Egbert, passing on a love of baking without the genocidal tendencies.
* SigilSpam: The Betty Crocker logo appears in a few odd places in the pre-scratch universe, like Jade's dream robot, but the trope fully comes into effect in universe B2 where Betty Crocker is a MegaCorp with its claws in everything from baked goods to software to space colonization. And then on 11/11/11, the Betty Crocker spoon turns into the Battleship Condescension fork...
* SlasherSmile: The Condesce is rarely depicted without a smug/sinister, shark-like grin.
* TheStarscream: Draconian Dignitary believes she has some contingency plans that Lord English doesn't know about, which is why she is implied to have captured Roxy.
* SubliminalSeduction: Betty Crocker products in universe B2 carry sinister subliminal messages telling users to obey and consume, to cease reproduction, to die, and to stay asleep. They [[ShoutOut bear a resemblance]] to similar messages from the movie ''Film/TheyLive''.
* SuddenlyVoiced: The Condesce never speaks and has no chat client with which to communicate, but she does take over Dad's PDA to deliver three lines in Act 6 Act 5, jarringly speaking like a teenager despite being an ancient warrior queen.
* TangledFamilyTree: She is the direct genetic Ancestor of Feferi. She is also the adoptive mother to Nanna Egbert and Grandpa Harley, making her John and Jade's great-grandmother. Feferi is John and Jade's great-aunt through adoption. And just to make things more confusing, she's also described as B2 John's grandmother and Jane's great-great-grandmother.
* ThemeNaming: "Baroness" follows the pattern of the Troll Ancestors' eight letter names. "Batterwitch" alludes to Feferi's (but not hers) Sgrub title, Witch of Life.
* TrademarkFavoriteFood: [=TaB=], because it has no sugar and only one calorie. And it comes in a pink can.
* UncattyResemblance: Her mane of hair, when viewed from the side, is a dead ringer for Gl'bgoylb.
%%* VillainWithGoodPublicity: On Post-Scratch Earth and on Derse.
* VillainWorld: Post-scratch Earth seems to be this, under her control. In the future she rules openly.
* VisualPun: She has a literal clamshell phone. ("Clamshell" is another name for a flip phone, particularly one with the hinge on the longer dimension.)
* WalkingSpoiler: Like Doc Scratch, you can't really talk about this character without bringing up several spoilers about what happens before the various sessions start. Plus, referring to her as Betty Crocker spoils that the random real-world baking company that John irrationally hates as a joke ends up being relevant to the plot.
%%* WickedStepmother: To Nanna and Grandpa when they were kids, and presumably to Poppop and Grandma.
%%* WickedWitch: Described as one in two of her identities.
* WoobieDestroyerOfWorlds: Spent most of her apocalyptic reign over Earth attempting to recreate the Troll society she'd essentially been banished from, desperately trying to reconnect with her own kind, only to have her every attempt fail miserably until she was left to rule over a devastated planet.
* JustForFun/XMeetsY: InUniverse, Dirk sums up her powers as "all the Franchise/XMen combined into one sexy fish woman in a skin tight suit."
* YouKillItYouBoughtIt:
** The Condesce killed The Handmaid in a handmaid, and then is forced to serve Lord English in her place.
** She also killed the Black Queen of Alpha/Post-Scratch Derse off-screen, and on-screen, serves as the new Queen of Derse.

[[folder:Lord English]]
!!Lord English

->[-'''''Webcomic/ParadoxSpace'' Appearances''': "The Inaugural Death of Mister Seven"-]

The enigmatic leader of The Felt. An omnipotent, time-traveling demon who appears at the end of the universe, who we are ultimately introduced to when he bursts from Doc Scratch's shattered corpse. However, given that he can travel through time and space, only showing up at the end of the universe is hardly an inconvenience; [[ArcWords he is already here]].

His younger iteration, [[Characters/HomestuckCherubs Caliborn]], has his own separate character sheet.


* AbusivePrecursors: He is responsible for the existence of the main characters and their respective universes (though they also played a role in his rise to power thanks to time travel shenanigans). Dave jokingly wonders if he should thank Lord English.
* AlmightyIdiot: A more literal example. As the Lord of Time, he has absolute control over time; an incredibly overpowered ability. Thing is, he's not bright enough to harness it's full potential and just uses time travel since it's simple enough for him to grasp.
* BadassLongcoat: His massive [[ CAIRO]] [[ OVERCOAT]]. Which has a double as a time traveling sarcophagus.
* BadBoss: He cares very little for the Felt and his manifestation in the universe definitively kills his [[TheDragon chief officer]].
* BigBad: The biggest of them all, of the entire webcomic. Vriska even calls him this. Interestingly, he only shows up properly just before Act 6.
-->[He's more deadly. But the danger he poses is sanctioned by paradox space... there are rules to his entry, and his grim procession through paradox space is rather orderly. Jack however is a loose cannon. He will not stop until he destroys everything he encounters. Additionally, his existence is your responsibility.]
* BlingBlingBang: His pimp cane [[ turns into a gold-plated assault rifle]] [[ with a laser sight and strobing ammo clip.]]
* BreathWeapon: One powerful enough to explode a dream bubble. Note that this is a CallBack to [[Characters/HomestuckSprites Calsprite]], who had a similar ability.
* TheBrute: While he prefers to leave most of the heavy lifting to his more cunning underlings, when he gets personally involved he tends to just overpower everyone in his path. In fact, as a child, he had a learning disability. It remains to be seen whether or not he's overcome this to make up with experience what he lacks in cleverness.
* CallBack: To WV and CD talking to their kids. Invokes BreadEggsMilkSquick as it quickly turns nightmarish.
** English is basically an enormous demonic Lil' Cal with flashing billiard-ball eyes... [[{{Foreshadowing}} which is exactly how Hussie told Cal to dress]].
*** Taken farther; during Scratch's conversation with Rose, Hussie outright showed [[ the cue ball]] and a lizard in a Green Sun robe inside English's coat.
** Lord English emerges from Doc Scratch's puppet body, much like how a [[ Fiduspawn emerges from a host plush]].
*** Doc Scratch has often referred to himself as an excellent host.
** MythologyGag: His pimp cane/rifle has the same weapon/object duality as Kanaya's lipstick/chainsaw and as many, many objects in ''Webcomic/ProblemSleuth''.
* TheCoatsAreOff: Removes his Cairo Overcoat before engaging Meenah's ghost army in combat.
* TheComicallySerious: He is hit with Deudly Firearms... while maintaining a perfectly straight face. (Though that might just be because has a SkullForAHead drawn in a fairly more realistic style compared to his juvenile counterpart.)
* TheDreaded: For most of the comic, he was not shown, and was only heralded by the phrase, "He is already here."
* EldritchAbomination: Lord English is not only a mob boss, but also an [[ indestructible time-traveling demon, summoned at the end of the universe]]. His eyes are rapidly [[ flashing pool balls.]] The rest of his body is ''not'' any less disconcerting.
** He is also able to completely disintegrate the souls of dead players and can create cracks in reality itself.
** Made even worse when it's revealed that Lord English is some sort of fusion between the souls of Caliborn, Arquiusprite, and half of Gamzee stuffed inside Lil Cal and is some sort of nightmare that bleeds into universes to tear them apart.
* EstablishingCharacterMoment: "The Man in the Cairo Overcoat" reveals the Lord English while an incredibly distorting and constantly looping to reinforce his role as the Lord of Time.
* EvilCounterpart: To the Genesis Frog[=/=]Bilious Slick. Just as the Genesis Frog is the Speaker of the Vast Croak at the beginning of the universe, Lord English is the Speaker of the Vast Honk at its end.
* {{Foil}}: To Doc Scratch, while Doc is affable and enjoys humor, English is violent and stoic.
* TheFourthWallWillNotProtectYou: In-universe, English actually appears behind the fourth wall.
* FusionDance: It's eventually revealed that some version of Dirk Strider stuffed Caliborn's soul into Lil' Cal. Thing is, he also sucked in Arquiusprite's soul and possibly part of the soul of Gamzee Makara. The implication is that Lord English is the result of this.
* GenericDoomsdayVillain: Lord English has four lines of dialogue and has no motivation beyond ensuring his own existence and slaughtering anyone he can. As the unholy combination of four unstable souls, it's [[JustifiedTrope justified]].
* GenreSavvy: Seemingly [[ExaggeratedTrope exaggerated]], but ultimately subverted. We were initially meant to believe English was savvy enough to go after [[RageAgainstTheAuthor the author]]. Fast forward to Act 6 Intermission 4, and we learn that this was merely payback for Hussie's sass when English was a young man.
* TheGhost: is first appearance was at the very end of ''Act 5''. Prior to that, we only knew his title and only got to see his coat and eyes.
* AGodAmI: English does take the title "Lord," after all, and rewrites reality as if it's his personal diary. He's even vain enough to keep in his mansion identical to ''[[Art/SistineChapel The Creation of Adam]]'', except he replaced God with himself[[note]]you can see the painting in [[ this Paradox Space panel]][[/note]].
* GreaterScopeVillain: To Jack Noir, Doc Scratch, and Betty Crocker all, surpassing them all in size, both literally and in villainous threat, but manipulating things behind the scenes, only showing up towards the end of Act 5. Doc Scratch portrays Lord as the Bigger Bad [[ to Rose]] in order to convince her that defeating Jack was worth releasing Lord English.
* TheGrimReaper: Inspired the version in troll mythology. Later on he's called the [[OurAngelsAreDifferent Angel of]] [[DeaderThanDead Double Death]].
* GrossUpCloseUp: His face may look goofy when it is viewed from afar, but when you see it close up... [[NightmareFace Well, let's just say it's far from pretty]].
* HandicappedBadass: When he emerges, he has a peg-leg styled after a billiard cuestick.
* HeroKiller: Normal [[HeroKiller Hero Killers]] kill other characters. Lord English kills ''[[UpToEleven the author of the story]].'' And then he ''starts [[DeaderThanDead killing the heroes' ghosts]].''
* HiddenVillain: English isn't referred to until the Intermission, and theres no hint towards his significance until well into Act 5.
* ImmuneToFate: Though it's not that he's immune to it so much as, as the Lord of Time, he makes it bend to his will.
* {{Jerkass}}: Very much so.
* TheJuggernaut:
** His main power, from his [[DealWithTheDevil deal with Yaldaboath]] is the power to destroy anything and everything.
** As well as the awesome power of his ranged attacks Lord English is formidable with just his fists and brute strength.
* KickTheDog: He [[ attacks]] Ms. Paint for no reason, and she was not even close to resembling a threat to him.
* KryptoniteFactor: The Cue Ball, and any item related to it, including Yaldabaoth's Retcon Treasure
* LargeAndInCharge: He's built like TheHulk, and his massive CAIRO OVERCOAT is way too big for most of the characters to wear without looking extremely silly.
* LargeHam: On the [[TheQuietOne one]] occasion he speaks as an adult.
* LightningBruiser: We finally get to see him in action in [S] Collide and not only is he obscenely powerful, he's ''fast''.
* LordBritishPostulate: He's rumored to be kill-able only through a number of glitches and exploits in space-time. Note that the reference to Lord British himself was originally unintentional, but Hussie declared it a retroactive reference after fans pointed it out.
* MagicPants: Just like the Incredible Hulk.
* MagicWand: Has a scepter or cane similar to the White and Black Kings. The difference is that the scepter is gold, while the top is flashing multiple colors and is sometimes replaced with an image of the Green Sun. Also, it's bottom is a pool cue.
** He also has an actual magic wand (/revolver).
* TheManBehindTheMan: Is the boss of Doc Scratch, who manipulated the entire series to ensure English's summoning.
* MeaningfulName: The term "English" is often used when playing any sort of billiards game, when referring to a particularly powerful spin put on a ball hit by a player. Probably due to his (and the Felt's) connection with billiards. In-universe, he uses it because it was the name of the only opponent whose power he ever respected: Jake English... [[StableTimeLoop Who, in turn, is named after Lord English in an act of spite from his grandma's part.]]
* MergerOfSouls: Caliborn's "Masterpiece" revealed more of his true nature: not only is he Caliborn, but he is also Equius, Dirk's Auto-Responder, and half of Gamzee all mashed together inside Lil' Cal. Caliborn seems to be the dominant personality, though.
* MonsterModesty: Still wearing the torn remnants of Doc's pants.
* MoreDakka: Can transform his cane into a super-deudly golden machine gun.
* NiceJobFixingItVillain: In the process of destroying dream bubbles in hopes to kill his sister's dead dream self, he breaks through the reality that encompasses the Furthest Ring. How is this good? This allows Vriska, Tavros, and John to actually navigate the void guided by the cracks in reality, which lead him to the juju he earned from his own session, which can only be used once by him, and once by someone else. That someone else, incidentally, is John, who has gained RealityWarper abilities that enable him to re-write canon without needing to adhere to the in-universe rules of causality and time looping, not only enabling him to derail the plans of Lord English's subordinates, but also enabling him to set things up to give the good guys a fighting chance to defeat the Lord of Time once and for all.
* NinjaPirateZombieRobot: [[WordOfGod According to Hussie]]:
-->''LE is many things. A time traveling crime lord pimp. An omnipotent, indestructible puppet-based demon. A monster born out of an ancient, short, smug, cueball-headed gunslinger, the blight of two universes by his birth alone. An Egyptian pharaoh [[TheIncredibleHulk Incredible Hulk]] in shredded pants and suspenders with a green [[Franchise/{{Saw}} Jigsaw]] puppet-like skull for head, a gold fang, and flashing pool balls for eyes. And with his gold cuestick pegleg and long coat, appears to also be somewhat reminiscent of a pirate, and may or may not bear some tenuous connection to Skipper Plumbthroat, nemesis of all Squiddles, who have been clearly shown to be friendly cartoon-standins for the dark gods.''
* NoIndoorVoice: [[ Lord English's alt text is gigantic.]]
* NoShirtLongJacket
* NotSoDifferent: He actually has a lot of similarities with some of the protagonists, especially Vriska. Immaturity, rudeness, being a {{Munchkin}}, big ego, obsessiveness, bigotry, etc. The difference is that while the protagonists grow out of these traits, [[{{Jerkass}} Lord English doesn't bother making any effort to change]].
* OffscreenTeleportation: He is already here. (Showing up unexpectedly is kind of his schtick.)
* OhCrap: When the Green Sun is destroyed, [[BroughtDownToNormal his eyes stop warping]] and he shows genuine concern at Vriska's secret weapon.
* OmnicidalManiac: His endgame is simple: destroy everything that ever was and ever shall be.
* TheOmnipotent: See PhysicalGod below.
* OneManArmy: During the battle against him, he double-kills massive portions of the huge ghost army as though they were nothing. It takes Aradia timestopping him for anyone to get anything remotely resembling a solid strike in on him.
* OnlyKnownByTheirNickname: [[ According to Doc Scratch]], 'Lord English' is just a title he goes by - in part because his true name is apparently [[NamesToRunAwayFromReallyFast terrifying]].
* OurAngelsAreDifferent: He's a cherub. Later on he's called the [[GrimReaper Angel of]] [[DeaderThanDead Double Death]].
* PhraseCatcher: "He is already here," and variants thereof.
* PhysicalGod: He is the single most powerful character in the comic, undisputedly:
** He was originally a cherub. Full grown cherubs are easily capable of destroying planets and can fly through normal euclidean space.
** He got empowered through SBURB as a Lord of Time, which is another tier ''again'' above the already powerful classes granted by the game.
** He then won a dead session of SBURB, granting him CompleteImmortality, a weapon that can defeat any opponent in a single blow (but can only be used twice: once by himself, and once by someone else), and the ability to instantly travel wherever and ''when''ever he wants to across all universes and timelines.
** ''On top of all that'', he was infused with even greater physical strength, sprite-powers (innate knowledge of SBURB and giant energy beams of death), and the Chucklevoodoos of the Subjuggulators when his soul was combined with others', AND he was further infused with the power of the Green Sun when he emerged out of Doc Scratch's body. He's been shown to be capable of rending apart the very fabric of reality and obliterating the souls of the dead.
** For the final battle, Vriska and Meenah decide they need to rally an infinite army of ghosts (many of whom are God-tiered) ''just to slow him down'' enough to have a chance to use their trump card. At no point is it suggested said infinite army actually has a chance of stopping him.
* PimpDuds: His CAIRO OVERCOAT. In fitting with the trope, he often enslaves and empowers women to do his dirty work, such as Snowman, the Condesce, and the Handmaid. Although Snowman seems to work for him willingly.
* PunnyName:
** A reference to a type of spin used on a cue ball.
** His [[BadassLongcoat CAIRO OVERCOAT]] is a pun on CHICAGO OVERCOAT, Mobster slang for a coffin. Its object double is a sarcophagus.
* PsychopathicManchild: Type B. Caliborn overcame Calliope way too soon in their development process by killing her dream self, preventing them from maturing properly. Instead, his "personality is stuck in some sort of cantankerous prepubescent limbo. [He is] going to be a stunted, miserable tool forever."
* TheQuietOne: He has only spoken once as an adult thus far in the comic.
* RageAgainstTheAuthor: In Act 6 Intermission 2 he appears behind the fourth wall with Hussiebot's head. Later he shoots Hussie with an assault rifle.
* RedHerring: The trolls referring to an indestructible demon destroying their session [[EpilepticTrees suggested to readers that Lord English was responsible for it]]. [[{{Jossed}} This was deliberate misdirection]]; WordOfGod actually calls him a "red herring villain in that session to deter speculation."
* RedOniBlueOni: Red to Scratch's blue.
* ReligionOfEvil: Kurloz Makara makes it quite explicit that he, Gamzee, and the subjuggulators worship him.
* RetroactivePreparation: Because he can time-travel, he sets up all the necessary requirements for his own summoning.
* SealedEvilInACan: Lord English is ultimately defeated by being trapped inside a black hole, as his total invincibility makes it impossible for the kids to actually kill him.
* ShroudedInMyth: Very few characters have seen him and lived.
* SigilSpam: His billiard eyes recur from time to time, and he's recently become associated with spirals as well, which adds even more SigilSpam retroactively.
* SoulJar: Caliborn turns Lil' Cal into this, thus ensuring the rise of his future self.
* StableTimeLoop: For much of Act 5, the story had been hinting that he was the ultimate cause of all the problems with the human and troll sessions and that he was a master of time. As Act 6 progresses, of course, the story has become more complex as the humans and trolls have influenced his sister and his own childhood in turn.
* StrawMisogynist: Porrim speculates, based on his apparent preference for placing women under his power, that he enjoys being ''especially'' nasty to women. Considering [[HeManWomanHater what he was like in his youth]], it's not an unreasonable assumption on her end.
* SwissArmyWeapon: Can change into a [[BlingBlingBang golden assault rifle.]]
* TragicVillain: Surprisingly, Vriska suggests that he may be this. She argues that for all his bluster and dramatics, he's ultimately just a miserly, lonely, and depressed child who's egotism and obsession with being the best prevented him from ever gaining any true love or friendship. However, it's possible that she may be projecting a bit.
* TheUnReveal:
** No, [[ he's not actually]] [[AuthorAvatar Andrew Hussie]].
** And then [[ again]], when he actually does appear. All we see are his eyes.
* TheUntwist: [[invoked]] He's Caliborn, all grown up. There were a handful of moments to foreshadow this, though.
* UsedToBeASweetKid: '''Averted'''. As Caliborn, he was almost as bad as he is now, just smaller and constrained. It turns out that he's also ''still'' a kid -- he only looks like an adult because he fused with multiple other beings, and one of them was the muscular Arquiusprite.
* VoiceOfTheLegion: English's text flashes with the colors of the fifteen members of the Felt
** The rainbow text is implied to signify the blood from all the trolls English has killed over eternity.
* WalkingSpoiler: He spends a good portion of the comic simply being TheDreaded before his official arrival - at which point he wastes no time in killing a good portion of the cast.
* WhoNamesTheirKidDude:
-->@@GT: So im named after a demon? What kind of demon is named english anyway?\\
TT: What kind of alien is named Crocker?@@
* WouldHitAGirl: "[[ CANE!]]"
** See StrawMisogynist above.

[[{{Characters.Homestuck}} > Go Back]]\\
[[Webcomic/{{Homestuck}} > Return to main page]]