!!Harley Morenstein
The co-creator of ''Epic Meal Time'' along with Sterling Toth, who operates the cameras. Once a substitute teacher from Montreal, a web video about a Fast Food Pizza went viral, and spawned a monster.
* AccentUponTheWrongSyllable: He's the [=SOWuss BOWuss=].
* {{Badass}}
** BadassBeard
** BadassInCharge
* CanadaEh: This applies to him more than any other cast member.
* {{Catchphrase}}: Many. ''Many.''
** "& bacon strips & bacon strips & bacon strips"
** "(caw!)in' smart."
** "Next time, we eat [x]!"
** "Stop hatin'!"
** "Changin' the game!"
** "And on Epic Meal Time, we eat all our [x]es."
** "This is your weekly bacon moment."
** "I'm the Sauce Boss!"
** "And we don't even know (caw!) about cooking!"
* FriendToAllChildren
* HotBlooded
* HiddenDepths: Used to be a teacher.
* JerkWithAHeartOfGold
* LargeHam
* MadLibsCatchphrase[=/=]OnTheNextEpisodeOfCatchphrase: Next time, we eat [x]!
* NiceHat: Frequently.
* NoIndoorVoice
* PrettyFlyForAWhiteGuy
* ThePowerOfFriendship: He's a firm believer.
* RedBaron: The Sauce Boss.
* SirSwearsALot
* TalkativeLoon: More and more as the show goes on.
* TrademarkFavoriteFood: Mac & cheese.
* VerbalTic: Drops "player" and "hater" into his sentences ''a lot''.

!!Muscles Glasses[[note]]Alex Perrault[[/note]]
A local personal trainer in Montreal, he is the strong, silent type with the ever-present aviator sunglasses. Most episodes he appears in end with him demolishing the remainder of that episode's creation solo. He also indiscriminately drinks the most liquor.
* AwesomeMcCoolname
* {{Badass}}
** MemeticBadass
* TheBigGuy
* BreakoutCharacter: So much that a new spin-off series, TheLegendOfMusclesGlasses, was announced in August 2013.
* Catchphrase: His FlippingTheBird is a non-verbal catchphrase.
* CharacterizationMarchesOn: He was a massive goofball early in the show.
* CoolShades
* FlippingTheBird
* [[spoiler:LegacyCharacter: As [[WordOfGod told by Harley in a behind-the-scenes video]], the character of Muscles Glasses (already inspired by Harley's experience with ''Terminator 2'', is going to be based on the titular glasses falling to Earth in various times and locations. ''TheLegendOfMusclesGlasses'' is supposed to open up other opportunities for others to acquire the "beacon of badassery" that is the MG legacy.]]
* LimitedWardrobe: Everyone usually wears T-shirts from TheMerch, but Muscles Glasses is the only one to always wear the same shirt in every video ("[=BaconStrips&BaconStrips&BaconStrips&...=]"). Although sometimes he may wear the dark grey version of the same shirt, the light grey version is definitely his IconicOutfit.
* PutOnABus: Inverted. The others have moved to LA, but he stayed in Canada to finish his degree. Has possibly left the show for good due to a dispute with Harley over "broken promises" related to ownership of the show's production company.
* RunningGag: Downing bizarre shots (with two of the standouts being Jack Daniels & ''breast milk'' and Tyler's "Jack and Yolk"... topped off with bacon salt).
* SleevesAreForWimps
* TheStoic
* TastesLikePurple: "Tastes like crazy... alcohol... Loko... pig. Tastes like alcohol pig! Tastes like crazy alcohol rainbow pig! [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment Tastes like... crazy alcohol rainbow pig.]] [[spoiler:It was noted in a Throwback Thursday version of the Chili Four Loko video that MG was in the midst of a full psychotic episode (the mix of alcohol and Four Loko essentially drove him nuts)]].

!!Epic Mook[[note]]Josh Elkin[[/note]]
One of the cooking experts of the show.
* AccentUponTheWrongSyllable: See {{Catchphrase}}.
* {{Badass}}: Makes cooking look damn awesome.
** BadassMustache[=/=]BadassBeard: He changes his facial hair fairly often.
* {{Catchphrase}}: "If you ain't speakin' that Gwopanese, you ain't speakin' my [=LANGuage=]!"
* ChefOfIron
* {{Corpsing}}: Is often unable to take Harley's over the top behaviour and play it straight.
* ADayInTheLimelight: Hosts a lot of the "Handle It" episodes.
* FascinatingEyebrow: He frequently does this. His logo on the Throwback Thursday series is the word "Mook" in Impact font with these over the o's.
* KnifeNut: He can teach Gwopanese with a knife.
* TheLancer: While Harley hosts the show, Mook does most of the cooking.
* SupremeChef

!!Tyler![[note]]Tyler Lemco[[/note]]
The resident CloudCuckoolander, he can usually be seen goofing around with the camera or ingredients. But he is just as eager to eat the meals as anyone else present.
* ChuckCunninghamSyndrome: Disappeared after the episode ''Meat Cake'' Apparently, like Muscles Glasses, he left over various reasons.
* LuckyCharmsTitle: His name is always spelled with an ! at the end, even on the website.
* ManChild
* TheSmartGuy: While he acts like a doofus on-camera, he's actually the one that calculates the calorie tracker.
* SuperNotDrowningSkills: At the beginning of New Year's Hangover Cure, Harley comes out to find Tyler face down in the pool. He wakes right up, and Harley tells him they were out for ''three days''.

!!Prince Atari[[note]]Ameer Atari[[/note]]
The other cooking expert of the show.
* KidAppealCharacter

!!Cousin Dave[[note]]David Heuff[[/note]]
Cousin Dave most frequently appears to eat the creations. He serves as a unique PluckyComicRelief, being typically the only one to eat with utensils. He also frequently drinks alcohol with a pinky raised.
* ButtMonkey: Comes off as a geek on occasion, sometimes a little snarky.
* TheSmartGuy: Other than Tyler.
* YouHaveToHaveJews: Cousin Dave is Jewish. He wears his ''bar mitzvah'' regalia at the end of the Turbaconepic episode [[RefugeInAudacity while carrying off the pig's head with a Baconator stuffed in its mouth]].