This is the constantly increasing and changing list of characters from Einsteinian Roulette. More characters being thrown into the Paracelsus' Sword and the sheer lack of interaction by some people may mean innacuracies in the character count.
This list is based mostly on the one in the main thread's character listing post.

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[[foldercontrol]]

[[folder:The Bastards-Original Ensemble]]
!!Milno Enedrasi
Pale farm boy from a mostly rural world.
* AnimalMotifs: A honey badger.
* FarmBoy: Used to be one before being shipped to the HMRC.
* TookALevelInBadass: In context, Milno is seventeen years of age.
!!Ivan Yankovichy
Tall and black-haired mercenary.
* TheCorruption: [[spoiler: Infected by a genetic disease in the second mission that gives him more power but is slowly turning him into a mindless monster.]]
* MotherRussiaMakesYouStrong: He has a russian name and had the higher starting strength stat of the initial ensemble.
* TeamKiller: The infamous title persists due to an accident during the first mission.
!!Faith Valentine
Red-haired cowardly cat burglar and medic.
* DirtyCoward: Spends most of her on-mission time running away, hiding and generally not helping anyone.
* EarnYourTitle: Faith is known as 'Worst Medic' because she generally either ignores or exacerbates her teammates' injuries.
!!Feyri Nirel
Female mercenary supposedly harboring feelings of affection towards Jim.
* ArsonMurderAndJaywalking: The sole reason she was sent to the HMRC. Strict law enforcement. Subverted somewhat later in the story when [[spoiler:it is revealed that the reason stated was only a fabricated lie - it wasn't the primary cause on why she was sent to the HMRC, but an intentional fabrication made to cover up her mistakes. Arson and Murder fall under the primary causes but are not listed as her crime.]]
* EarnYourTitle: Feyri is known as 'The Powersliding Mercenary', due to her actions in the first noted mission against an alien sentinel. [[spoiler:It was later tested that the Sentinel in question was a lot more powerful than realized.]]
* ThouShaltNotKill: She was a mercenary for most of her pre-HMRC story, but even then she never took a life in combat.
** Averted somewhat later in a talk with Jim; [[spoiler:averted in a way that, while it is true that she never took a life 'intentionally', her reason of being in the HMRC was a fabricated lie. A life was taken from collateral damage due to a failed sabotage mission on her home colony which deeply affected her: beliefs and principles alike. Doubly averted in the fact that she has still not yet taken an organic life.]]
!!Jim/Subject 19-3
Vat-grown human created as a military experiment.
* ArtificialHuman: He was created in a lab which was trying to develop genetically-engineered soldiers.
* ButtMonkey: If Jim is on a mission, generally the first time something bad happens - such as death or mind rape - he's the victim.
* GasmaskLongCoat: He was one of these originally.
* {{Transhuman}}: Jim's 'class' and what he was created for.
* WrestlerInAllOfUs: Jim was the first character to begin using wrestling moves as an acceptable form of offense.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Post-First Mission Player Characters]]
!!May [[spoiler:(formerly known as Elizas Colton Roxine)]]
Genderless, hairless albino "human" with vaguely feminine features.
* {{Cloudcuckoolander}}: "I am Torso, more than a God, equal of a man, less than a potato."
* GagBoobs: After the "feminization" procedure performed before the fifth mission started.
!!Victor
* EarnYourTitle: "Cockroach Man", gained due to his habit of liking dark places and constantly hiding from light. He was arrested inside some random person's wardrobe.
!!Mesk Vraite
* BackAlleyDoctor: His affirmations about his background point towards him being a non-licensed medic with a dubious past.
* ButtMonkey: He spends the latter half of his second mission crippled after a rapidly escalating series of [[ComedicSociopathy team-inflicted injuries]]; Jim narrowly misses slicing his skull open with a meat cleaver before dropping the entire team down an elevator shaft, dislocating his leg, Bishop accidentally pulps his [[ItMakesSenseInContext doctoring leg]] when he drops a piece of metal down the same elevator shaft, and after [[EpicFail welding Jim's arm to his face]] he [[RuleOfThree drops him down the elevator shaft again]], breaking his spine.
* EarnYourTitle: "Kickboxing Doctor".
* MadDoctor: Shaping up to be one, especially after the happenings of the fifth mission.
!!Mason Locke
* DirtyCommunists: How the dictatorial government portrays him (and any group or individual contrary to its tyranny).
!!Thomas Harrison
* JerkassFacade
* MrViceGuy: He is one of the few characters to ever drink and smoke, and is also one of the few if not the only to show heroic tendencies.
!!Charro Hootzal
* PluckyComicRelief: After suffering moderate brain damage after an overdose on anaesthetic, his hobbies include designing impractical weapons based around fashionable headgear, filling VR simulations with owls and plowing fields of sand in alien anomalies with the faceplate of his helmet.
* PrinceCharmingWannabe: A product of his upbringing, he will often attempt to assist or defend a "helpless female", even when said female is vastly more competent than himself.
* SpoiledBrat: Son of a planetary governor and spoiled since his birth.
!!Nikitian Greiss ("Nik")
* WideEyedIdealist: Believes the dictatorial government is perfect and flawless, and that it has only the people in mind with each and every action.
!!Bishop Willis
* OnlySaneMan: Spent most of the third mission as this.
!!Cog Anrizkalur
* TooDumbToLive: Has been showing consistent signs of this.
!!Nekarios Aurea-Inanis ("Nick")
* TeamKiller
!!Empyrea Cymac (Empyrean)
* AccidentalPervert: Due to her constantly failing dexterity rolls, she fell on top of the resident's pervert while trying to get him away from May. She only succeeded in accidentally getting his pants off and groping him.
!!Lukas
* NiceGuy: Seems to be this, although his quips also manage to get him in trouble.
!!Renen
* [[LovableSexManiac Unlovable Sex Maniac]]: Spends a good amount of time trying to grope the women in the Paracelsus' Sword.
!!Neil
* {{Fetish}}: For hand lasers, the weakest available weapons.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Non-Player Characters]]
!!Steve
* AuthorAvatar: It's unclear how much of Steve's personality is the GM speaking.
* DeadpanSnarker: Possibly his defining characteristic.
* MissionControl
* VoiceWithAnInternetConnection
* WetwareCPU: He's composed of [[{{Squick}} little bits of brain matter scavenged from the remains of various dead inmates]]. And he's responsible for overseeing the ''entire ship''.
!!The Armory Master
* TheAce: She seems to excel at anything she tries her hand at.
* ActionGirl: She completed 27 HMRC missions without a visible scar or scratch on her skin while a good number of people die on their first assignment...
** [[ActionGirl Retired Action Girl]]: ...And now she spends her time reading magazines, injuring and killing anyone who annoys or outright pisses her off as well as answering questions about weaponry and other minor matters.
* AlmightyJanitor
* BerserkButton: Inmates trying to modify their equipment to see through her clothing. The only documented case of someone doing this ended with the offending [[NonPlayerCharacter NPC]] being thrown out of the ship through an airlock.
* NonPlayerCharacter
!!The Doctor
* MadDoctor: He has an unhealthy obsession for performing experiments on human beings.
* NonPlayerCharacter
[[/folder]]