'''''Globelink Staff'''''

!Gus Hedges

The management speak spouting 'hands-off' chief executive at Globelink News, Gus constantly reminds his staff "I'm not here." If only. Constantly meddling with broadcasts and bulletins to ensure their proprietor comes out on top, Gus has no real friends at the office and is often shown to be desperately lonely.

* BeleagueredAssistant
* BreakTheHaughty: When events begin to get on top of him, such as the Prime Minister's impending visit.
* TheDogBitesBack: [[spoiler: To Sir Royston in the last episode, but his epic rant is cut short.]]
* JerkassWoobie: Rather a jerkass, but deeply pitiable.
* [[AManIsNotaVirgin A Man is Not a Virgin]]
* ManipulativeBastard: In several episodes he shows that he is quite competent in getting the employees to accept pay cuts or dropping stories he doesn't want to see broadcast.
* {{Neologizer}}: Hes poke like this almost to the point of unintelligibility as part of his "management speak". The character was a parody of all the phrase-coining 90s managers who seemed to believe making up new expressions would change the workplace. Sadly for Gus, it never worked.
* SmugSnake
* SympathyForTheDevil: Often shown as a deeply lonely, insecure individual whose attempts to reach out to his colleagues are met with bafflement or frustration.
* TheUnfavourite: To his brother Julian.
* YesMan

!George Dent

The put-upon editor of Globelink, George is constantly beset by problems from his staff, his manipulative wife, his borderline-psychotic daughter Deborah, and his own ever increasing mystery illnesses.

* ButtMonkey
* TheDogBitesBack: On occasion, such as paying his daughter to wreck Damien's Porsche, or hiring a call-girl to ruin his ex-wife's wedding.
* LockedOutOfTheLoop
* PapaWolf [[spoiler: When Deborah joins a gang of muggers, George threatens their leader with a toasting fork until he sings the Birdie Song (with actions).]]
* TheWoobie

!Alex Pates

George's second, the assistant editor (who frequently does most of the legwork). PutOnABus between series two and three.

* AmazinglyEmbarrassingParents: Her mother, unseen until the series two finale.
* DeadpanSnarker
* NotSoAboveItAll
* [[OnlySaneMan Only Sane Woman]]

!Helen Cooper

Brought in to replace Alex, she quickly attracts the attention of both George and Dave, only to reveal [[spoiler: she's actually a lesbian]].

* [[spoiler: CureYourGays]]: Toyed with , then averted.
* DeadpanSnarker
* [[OnlySaneMan Only Sane Woman]]
* NotSoAboveitAll: After chiding the office for spying on Dave, she breaks down and asks '[[ItMakesSenseinContext are you screwing Diana or not?]]
* SuspiciouslySimilarSubstitute: Initially for Alex, later averted as she is fleshed out.

! Damien Day

Sensationalist reporter, always willing to embellish the truth in his reports.

* AManIsNotAVirgin: he loses his virginity in season 4, in the lion enclosure at the zoo.
* CelibateHero: Tries to claim this from time to time.
* EmpathyDollShot: Uses his own teddy bear for these, credits Dimbles with winning four awards.
* FreudianExcuse: Made clear in the episode with his mother.
* UltimateJobSecurity: The source of most of Globelink's ratings, they can't afford to lose him.
* WellDoneSonGuy

! Dave Charnley

Ladies man, particularly if the lady is married to another staff member, Dave frequently finds himself in debt to various creditors due to his gambling problems.

* TheCasanova
* TheGamblingAddict
* HeterosexualLifePartners: With Henry.
* JerkWithAHeartOfGold
* LadyKillerInLove: With Helen, and later with a married member of staff named Julie.
* ReallyGetsAround

! Henry Davenport

The respected older anchorman at Globelink, Henry is constantly frustrated at the antics of 'pre-pubescent holograms' in politics and the media business. He has a particularly acidic relationship with fellow anchor Sally Smedley.

* BaldOfAwesome: Averted, he looks worse without his terrible hairpiece than with it.
* FriendlyEnemy: Sometimes with Sally (although he would never admit to the "friendly" part).
* HeterosexualLifePartners: With Dave.
* KavorkaMan
* LargeHam
* SophisticatedAsHell

! Sally Smedley

Part of a new wave of attractive but untalented new personnel, Sally is calm and reassuring on camera, but off-camera is vacuous and selfish, disliked by most of her colleagues, particular Henry.

* BrainlessBeauty
* BreakTheHaughty: Many an episode features other characters attempting to do this to her.
* TheChewToy
* FriendlyEnemy: With Henry (although, like Henry, she would never admit to the "friendly" part).
* JerkassWoobie: Particularly in later seasons.
* ReallyGetsAround: Usually with lorry drivers.
* SympathyForTheDevil: [[spoiler: After her miscarriage.]]
* WeWantOurJerkBack: When she becomes a Christian.

! Joy Merryweather

The incredibly effective PA for Globelink, Joy is, however, a borderline sociopath with a tendency to enact creative revenge plots on those who slight her.

* ComedicSociopathy
* DeadpanSnarker
* DefrostingIceQueen: With Dave during her Gladiators training, and with Vivian the artist. Both involve the men using her for their own purposes, which naturally doesn't end well.
* FreudianExcuse: Lived with an alcoholic father and a drug addict mother.
* JerkWithAHeartofGold: Hidden very deeply, she takes care of her homeless brother who treats her with nothing but abuse.
* VitriolicBestBuds: Sometimes with Dave and Helen.

! Gerry

Damien's cameraman.

* CreatorCameo: He is voiced by Andy Hamilton, one of the two writers.
* IronButtMonkey
* TheUnseen: Except in the ChristmasSpecial where he appears wrapped entirely in bandages.

'''''Recurring Characters'''''

! Sir Royston Merchant

The new owner of Globelink News, a terrifying, corrupt figure who owns much of the British media.
* TheFaceless: Briefly averted in the finale.
* FatBastard
* JerkAss
* NoCelebritiesWereHarmed: RupertMurdoch and Robert Maxwell, who both share his initials as well.


! Margaret

George's often mentioned wife, who proceeds to put him through hell before demanding a divorce and taking most of his possessions.
* TheFaceless:Briefly averted in the finale.
* JerkAss
* ManipulativeBitch: Particularly in the finale.
* TheVoiceless

! Deborah Dent

George's out of control teenage daughter.

* AttentionWhore
* ComedicSociopathy: Enough to compete with Joy.
* EnfanteTerrible
* JerkWithAHeartOfGold: She does love her Dad, she just conceals it very well.

! Roy Merchant Jr

Sir Royston's only son, he is sent in in the final series to assess whether the business is worth saving.

* BearerofBadNews: Tells Globelink [[spoiler: they are being shut down.]]
* JerkassFacade: Must put one on to avoid being disinherited.
* SiblingRivalry: Forced to fight with siblings Octavia and Roystonia for his inheritance.
* VerbalTic: When try to mention his f..ff...father. He later refers to him as his [[spoiler: f..ff..fucking Dad!]].
** Made all the more amusing when you remember his actor's own father is Creator/PatrickTroughton, aka [[TheNthDoctor The Second Doctor]].
* WellDoneSonGuy