CharacterSheet of the UsefulNotes/ComicRelief charity skit ''Recap/DoctorWhoTheCurseOfFatalDeath''. A parody, not even ''remotely'' canon. Written by Creator/StevenMoffat, who lovingly referenced it in episodes on occasion during his run on [[Series/DoctorWho the series itself]].
!The Doctor
* FailedASpotCheck: The reason he quickly ends up in his Twelfth incarnation;
--> '''Twelfth Doctor''': Oh dear, now look at that! I've gone and used up three whole bodies in under a minute and all because I forgot to ''unplug'' first, that really was terribly ''silly'' of me!
* {{Retcon}}: That time the Doctor died a few times in quick succession? It was [[Recap/DoctorWho2005CSTheChristmasInvasion later revealed]] in canon that this WOULDN'T have triggered more regenerations, as a Time Lord can heal any injuries sustained in the first few hours after regeneration.
* WeHardlyKnewYe: All except Atkinson's Doctor get very little screentime as they clumsily cycle through their regenerations rapidly.
* TheWorldIsAlwaysDoomed: The Doctor has saved every planet in the known universe a minimum of 27 times.

!!Ninth Doctor (Creator/RowanAtkinson)
[[quoteright:100:[[http://www.redscharlach.co.uk/ https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/minifataldoctor1_9568.jpg]]]]
* CrazyPrepared: The first half of the special can be summed up as him and the Master having a massive GambitPileUp involving them pre-emptively going back in time to bribe the architect of the building they currently stand in to their specifications.
* DeadpanSnarker: Atkinson, very much in the mould of the later Series/{{Blackadder}}s.
* LongHairedPrettyBoy: Not quite as pretty as some of his successors below, but he definitely has a Creator/PaulMcGann Doctor haircut going on and manages to form a long term relationship with his latest companion.
* OfficialCouple: He and his companion, Emma (Julia Sawalha) are engaged.
* Really700YearsOld: In [[https://www.thefreelibrary.com/Comic+Relief%3a+Who%27s+after+your+cash%3b+JOIN+THE+DOC%27S+RETURN+ON+A...-a060395111 "Who's After Your Cash"]], the Ninth Doctor states that he is over 800 years old.
* RetiredBadass: Intends to become one, since he's saved every planet at least 27 times by this point.
* {{Retirony}}: The story is set off when the Doctor wants to tell the Master that he's retiring to marry his companion.
* StarfishLanguage: He is (almost) fluent in the language of the people of Terserus. Said people communicate exclusively through [[ToiletHumour farts of differing pitch]].

!!Tenth Doctor (Creator/RichardEGrant)
* DistractedByMyOwnSexy: "Result! Cute, sexy, and lick-the-mirror-handsome!"
* LargeHam: Engages in HamToHamCombat against the Master.
* LecherousLicking: Is so [[DistractedByMyOwnSexy distracted by his own sexy]] that he licks his reflection in the mirror.
* SlipIntoSomethingMoreComfortable: Mocked with the Doctor saying it just after his regeneration.
* TooDumbToLive: Both this Doctor and his successor die in quick succession "all because I forgot to unplug first."

!!Eleventh Doctor (Creator/JimBroadbent)
* CannotTalkToWomen: Humorously, the Master's etheric beam locators get the same response out of him.
* TooDumbToLive: Both this Doctor and his predecessor die in quick succession "all because I forgot to unplug first."

!!Twelfth Doctor (Creator/HughGrant)
* DeadlyDeferredConversation: The Twelfth Doctor's last words to Emma are, "I'll explain later." This being the tail end of a RunningGag where something ridiculous happens and the Doctor goes, "I'll explain later."
* DeathEqualsRedemption: Of a sort. Twelve's seemingly final death inspires the Master and the Daleks to renounce their evil ways. It's all surprisingly poignant for a parody.
* InvincibleHero: Gets hit with an ultra-deadly energy wave that should kill even a Time Lord instantly, so ''definitely'' no more regenerations ''ever''. He regenerates anyway.
* LastRequest: Well, before the "I'll explain later" gag: "Look after the universe for me. I've put a lot of work into it."
** A quote so iconic that the ''[[Creator/PeterCapaldi actual]]'' Twelfth Doctor would reuse it in the canonical series.
* MrFanservice: Noted to be even sexier than Richard E. Grant's Doctor.

!!Thirteenth Doctor (Creator/JoannaLumley)
[[quoteright:100:[[http://www.redscharlach.co.uk/ https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/minilumleydoc1_1300.jpg]]]]
* AllGirlsWantBadBoys: She falls for the Master, of all people. She notes that she suddenly finds him more attractive now and the two ride off into the sunset.
* BuxomBeautyStandard: She's pretty buxom and her cleavage gets many MaleGaze shot as well as noticed by The Master.
* GenkiGirl: She seems to be the most energetic and excitable Doctor in the special.
* GenderBender: The first Time Lord sex change, but far from the last.
* JumpingTheGenderBarrier: The Master is very taken with the Doctor's new form.
* ManIFeelLikeAWoman: "I've always wanted to get my hands on one of these!"
* MsFanservice: Gets many gratuitous cleavage shots, before almost taking one boob out to inspect the "on-switch".
* PowerPerversionPotential: Only now, after [[TimeAbyss thousands of years]], does the Doctor notice the Sonic Screwdriver comes with three settings.
* SituationalSexuality: The Doctor conveniently starts liking men as soon as he turns into a woman.

!Emma (Creator/JuliaSawalha)
* ACupAngst: The Master tries to invoke this by bragging about how big and firm his "Dalek bumps" feel. Emma later seems genuinely envious of the Thirteenth Doctor's new talent.
* DistractedByTheSexy: Emma's reaction to the Hugh Grant Doctor, "Result!"
* {{Expy}}: Shares a lot of mannerisms with Third Doctor companion Jo Grant.
* LiteralMetaphor: [[GenderBender "You're just not the man I fell in love with."]]

!The Master (Creator/JonathanPryce)
* ActorAllusion: Creator/JonathanPryce starred in an unrelated film about mental patients in the First World War three years prior to this. The name of this film? ''Regeneration''.
* AffablyEvil: The Master is surprisingly polite and understanding throughout the story, perhaps to set up [[DatingCatwoman the ending twist]].
* BestialityIsDepraved: Poor, poor guy.
* BigBreastPride: He initially takes pride in the size and firmness of his new Dalek bumps. Quickly turns to DCupDistress when everyone thoroughly mocks them.
* DramaticThunder: Somehow conjures thunder inside his TARDIS to accompany his EvilLaugh.
* EvilLaugh: Of course. Jonathan Pryce goes all out with this.
* {{Expy}}: Jonathan Pryce's Master is pretty much the Creator/AnthonyAinley version dialled up (except for his competency, which is dialled down to one).
* HoistByHisOwnPetard: The Master's attempts to trap the Doctor backfire horribly on him, though not [[TimeyWimeyBall always]] through his own fault. His deal with the Daleks, however, is [[OmnicidalManiac as ill-conceived as it sounds]].
* InsistentTerminology: They're not breasts, they're Dalek bumps.
* IsThisThingStillOn: The Master has ''serious'' trouble with closing the communication channel on cue early on. When the Doctor calls him out on it, he quickly claims IMeantToDoThat.
* LargeHam: Engages in HamToHamCombat against the Tenth Doctor.
* NamesToRunAwayFromReallyFast: TheMaster. Ultimately, [[SubvertedTrope subverted]]:
-->'''Thirteenth Doctor:''' Tell me, why ''do'' they call you "The Master"?\\
'''The Master:''' [[HappilyEverAfter I'll explain later.]]
* RuleOfThree: The Master falls into the sewers of Terserus thrice, each time taking 312 years to climb back out and growing ancient and repugnantly filthy in the process.
* SissyVillain:
-->'''Tenth Doctor:''' I remember you, don't I?\\
'''The Master:''' And you still fear me, Doctor.\\
'''Tenth Doctor:''' You're the camp one.\\
'''The Master:''' I am ''not'' camp.\\
'''Tenth Doctor:''' Oh yeah? Nice tits.
* TheSlowPath: The Master has to do this to get out of the sewers. Three times.

!The Daleks
* BizarreAlienSenses: Only the Daleks would join the Master on his quest for revenge, since the Daleks have no noses (and he'd just escaped from a sewer).
* ImperialStormtrooperMarksmanshipAcademy: The Daleks announce that they're going to exterminate the Master... and promptly end up shooting the Doctor and the Zektronic generator instead.
* OffTheShelfFX: These Daleks are made and played by FanFilm producers, specifically those of ''Devious'' (which is most notable for its final scenes with '''Creator/JonPertwee''' as the Third Doctor). You can clearly see the actors inside them in some shots.
* ScienceFictionWritersHaveNoSenseOfScale: The Dalek's new superweapon will enable them to take over the universe in minutes. How, you ask? We'll explain later.
* WeMeetAgain: A Dalek says it to the Ninth Doctor.
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