!!'''T-Rex'''
A ''Tyrannosaurus rex'' who gets really enthusiastic about ideas. Appears in all six panels.
%%* {{Cloudcuckoolander}}
* FeigningIntelligence: His entire shtick in a nutshell. He can instantly whip up InsaneTrollLogic on any subject.
* {{Fetish}}: Specifically, a recurring sexual interest in [[TheRoaringTwenties 1920s]] [[TheFlapper flappers]].
** Also in entropy spontaneously reversing itself.
* GeniusDitz: He is not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but he knows all the tropes and writing conventions known to man, as well as obscure details about science, programming, linguistics, and history.
* HearingVoices: It's never clear whether God and the Devil are actually talking to T-Rex.
%%* {{Keet}}
* PalsWithJesus: Regularly talks with God.
%%* SmallNameBigEgo

!!'''''Utahraptor'''''
T-Rex's somewhat saner friend and comedic foil. Appears in panels four and five.
* BetterAsFriends: Early on in the comic, it's revealed that T-Rex had a brief sexual fling with Utahraptor in the past. But they both seem to be more comfortable as just friends.
* DeadpanSnarker: Often.
* NotSoAboveItAll: Despite generally being the voice of reason, he gets irrationally angry about homeopathy and can be just as silly at T-Rex at times
* SpellMyNameWithAThe: T-Rex calls him "the ''Utahraptor''" in the first hundred or so strips. [[CharacterizationMarchesOn As the relationship between them became more amicable]], this was phased out.
* StraightMan: To T-Rex's silliness.
* StraightGay: [[WordOfGod "He has interests outside of being gay?"]]
* YaoiFanboy: He likes turning T-Rex's stories into romantic fanfiction.

!!'''''Dromiceiomimus'''''
T-Rex's supportive (that is, less aggressively critical) friend. Appears in panel three.
%%* TokenGirl
* WomenAreWiser: She tends to be much more sensible than T-Rex.

!!'''God'''
Creator and maintainer of the cosmos. Seems to have a lot of free time.
* CoolOldGuy: He seems happy to banter with T-Rex.
* {{Cloudcuckoolander}}: [[http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=934 He has his moments.]]
* GodIsFlawed: Despite having omniscience, he's still pretty fallible and can be tripped up by a stray question from T-rex.
* TheVoice: Appears in no panels, and is represented by speech bubbles aimed above the comic instead.

!!'''The Devil'''
The Adversary. Very serious about videogames.
* {{Geek}}: If a discussion about videogames comes up, he's usually involved
* {{Satan}}
* TheVoice

!!'''Morris'''
A very small insect with problems.
* ADayInTheLimelight: In a guest comic, along with Mr. Tusks.
* ApologisesALot: Largely because of his various problems

!!'''Mr. Tusks'''
An elephant afflicted with island dwarfism. Vice-mayor of Tiny Towne.
* ADayInTheLimelight: In a guest comic, along with Morris.
* PungeonMaster: But only a '''little''' bit.
** Aren't you exaggerating just a... '''tiny''' bit?
* RidiculouslyCuteCritter: Especially remarkable when one considers that he never appears on panel.

!!'''Professor Science'''
A ''Diplodocus'' with a square graduation hat that for some reason, T-Rex answers SCIENCE mail for. The Professor seems to just ignore T-Rex.
* TheGhost: More so than other characters not physically appearing in the comic, he never reacts even when he is ostensibly just off camera. It can't even be said for sure he knows Ask Professor Science is a thing because he never gets his mail.

!!'''The Tiny Woman in Panel Four'''
* TheyKilledKennyAgain: T-Rex stomps her in every comic.
** It's revealed in one AltText that she actually throws down a smoke bomb and escapes, and that she is actually the most competent character in comic!... She still never actually says anything.
* ThrowTheDogABone: It was a fan comic but she TookALevelInBadass, blocked Rex's foot and kicked him in the face.