''"Nerd News, Humor, and [[TakeThatUs Self-Loathing]]"''

[[http://www.toplessrobot.com Topless Robot]] (which, despite [[IThoughtItMeant the name]], is [[BrainBleach usually]] [[{{NSFW}} safe-for-work]]) is a Village Voice Media owned blog dedicated to nerdy interests, formerly run by Rob Bricken, a former writer for ''[=ToyFare=]'', ''Anime Insider'' and Anime News Network. The site has become well known for its daily lists, entertaining contests which get hundreds of entries, and the notorious Fan Fiction Fridays, in which Rob gave the [[MSTing MST3K treatment]] to incredibly awful fanfic. In November 2012, Rob moved on from Topless Robot to io9, where he writes a column titled "Postal Apocalypse". Unfortunately(or fortunately, depending on your point of view), io9's higher-ups asked Rob to stop doing FFF after some readers complained that the concept was mean-spirited. His replacement as TR head was long-time contributing editor Luke Thompson, who revived FFF as a video series under the name "I READ YOUR FANFIC!".

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!!Tropes frequently found on Topless Robot include:
* BeCarefulWhatYouWishFor: ThePokemonStory, the fans demanded it, Rob refused to show it for ages. When he finally caved the fans instantly regretted it.
* BerserkButton: Do NOT bring up Creator/MichaelBay's films. Especially [[TransformersFilmSeries Transformers]].
** After ''TransformersDarkOfTheMoon'' came out and was proven to be a very bad movie but not a wretched cinematic atrocity (according to Rob), Bay and his movies just became a punching bag for Rob rather than a satanic abomination that must be wiped off the face of this earth.
*** ... and then came [[TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles Aliengate]], after which Rob proclaimed Bay as Nerd Satan.
* BrainBleach: Chances are you'll need it on Fan Fiction Friday.
* ClusterFBomb: ''Lots.''
* ComicsNix: His stories are not only ran on Fan Fiction Friday often, Roboteers REQUEST them because of the fics sheer [[SoBadItsGood insanity]].
* EldritchAbomination: [[MadDoctor Dr.]] Abraxas.
* ForcedMeme: WHOSE RESPONSIBLE THIS. KnowYourMeme has it deadpooled because it didn't spread naturally.
** It's still popular on TR itself, though.
** Which makes it a RunningGag amongst the readers and staff.
* AGoodNameForARockBand: During Fanfiction Friday Rob would often stumble upon some combination of the words and comment "Great name for a rock band # XXXX".
* INeedADrink: Rob's CatchPhrase.
** There's a tag on the site labeled "things that make me drink." It encompasses about 95% of FFF.
* NightmareFuelStationAttendant: Abraxas and Sago both indulge in this, often competing to see who can say the most {{Squick}} and/or nightmare-inducing things.
* '''NostalgiaFilter''': When it comes to old-school ''Franchise/StarWars'', ''WesternAnimation/HeManAndTheMastersOfTheUniverse1983'', ''Film/{{Tron}}'', or ''VideoGame/FinalFantasyVII'', Rob will defend his opinions to the death.
** That applies to {{Transformers}} as well, although he does seem to like WesternAnimation/BeastWars and admits he doesn't have any opinion on TransformersAnimated because he never watched it. The [[TransformersFilmSeries live-action films]] [[BerserkButton are another story]]. He also isn't too fond of WesternAnimation/TransformersPrime, but he stated in a later post that it was more disappointment than outright hate, and in a LATER post, he admitted that, while he still doesn't like it, that he can see why others do.
* RunningGag:
** Tons. Use of [[Film/RaidersOfTheLostArk Toht's]] [[http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/Toht_face_2898.PNG melting face]] or the [[YourHeadAsplode exploding head]] from {{Scanners}} to illustrate FFF commentary, [[MemeticMutation WHOSE RESPONSIBLE THIS]], finding [[Film/ETTheExtraterrestrial E.T.]] to be "fucking horrifying", rampant and occasionally [[HoYay homoerotic]] JossWhedon fanboyism, and, most recently, Rob [[ADateWithRosiePalms furiously masturbating]] over any and all news about ''Film/TronLegacy''.
** And even more recently, "[[Series/GameOfThrones Winter is coming]], and so am I."
* SanitySlippage: When reading the more horrific FFF entries, Rob tends to lose all coherent thought and just spam Toht/Scanners pictures, with the occasional "WHY GOD WHY?" and "INeedAFreakingDrink" comment.
** When in early 2011 he finally got around to the infamous ''FFVII'' fic "Beast & The Harlots", he went from typing using Toht's picture with the caption "HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE" in one section to '' "'''HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE'''" '' in a later one. And yes, the story really is that bad.
** The entire latter half of the MSTing of ''MILF from UNCLE'' consists almost entirely of Toht Faces (understandable, since it combined AngryBeavers with ParentalIncest). He finally [[GoneMadFromTheRevelation went mad from the revelation]] upon realising that the author [[spoiler:was too busy masturbating to complete the story]] and spammed almost a dozen of them.
*** Which was latter topped [[http://www.toplessrobot.com/2012/05/fan_fiction_friday_fievel_from_american_tail_in_th.php The Fievel Story MST]], which required ''over 50 Tohts'' to properly express his horror. By the time he's done he's worshiping {{Darkseid}} and calling for him to end everything.
-->'''THIS IS THE ANTI-LIFE EQUATION'''
* SchmuckBait: Admit it, the way in which Rob introduces [[http://www.toplessrobot.com/2010/03/fan_fiction_friday_the_other_story.php "The Other Story"]] [[spoiler: (real title "How Videl Discovered Her Abortion Fetish")]] just makes you want to read it ''even more.''
* ScrewThisImOuttaHere: invoked by Rob after a '''''really''' bad fic regarding SpiritedAway.
** And [[http://www.toplessrobot.com/2012/08/my_internet_killed_fan_fiction_friday_or_fff_kille.php now]], one session of FFF was deleted before he could save it. Rob explains it as either the Internet refusing to upload it, or the fic being so bad it killed his connection.
* SeriousBusiness: The competition in the weekly T-shirt contests can get... intense.
* SitcomArchnemesis[=/=]ShadowArchetype: Abraxas is one of these to Rob, as well as being a NightmareFuelStationAttendant.
** It's ''Dr.'' Abraxas now. OH SHI--
* [[{{Spork}} Sporking]]: Done for all but the [[ThePokemonStory most vile]] of the [=FFFs=].
* TemptingFate: Done in a few [=FFFs=].
-->'''Rob''': This cannot possibly get any more awful.
-->'''Fic''': "I don't think you had enough Arthur, would you like to have some cocktail weenies?" asked Brain.
-->'''Rob''': *Toht* I STAND CORRECTED
* UpToEleven: In one episode of Fanfiction Friday, he [[http://www.toplessrobot.com/2010/02/fan_fiction_friday_harry_potter_and_the_surprise_p.php makes a brief reference to a fic he believes to be worse than]] ThePokemonStory.
** He then ran that one ("[[SickAndWrong How Videl Discovered Her Abortion Fetish]]"), necessitating more BrainBleach. He's now got ''another'' [[http://www.toplessrobot.com/2011/10/um_fan_fiction_friday_just_defeated_me.php fanfic]] that he refused to post, even unriffed. [[note]]He described it as like ''KanashiiNoImi'', only written as legitimate erotica.[[/note]]

!!Notable fanfics featured on Fan Fiction Friday include:
* FanFic/RectifiedAnonymity: Rob ''[[TheWoobie discovered]]'' it and popularized the nickname of "The Pokémon Story". He initially refused to run it. The Roboteers begged him. He ran it. We needed BrainBleach.
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