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Really almost every single line can be considered one, given the context, but people still have their favorites:

Back to WebVideo/EpicRapBattlesOfHistory

[[foldercontrol]]
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[[folder:John Lennon vs. Bill O'Reilly]]
* John Lennon's second verse
** "Well, ya can't buy me love, But I'll kick your ass for free."
** Ending his second stanza in his rap battle against Bill O'Reilly by telling him to ''shut the '''[[PrecisionFStrike fuck]]''' up''.
* Bill O'Reilly have these:
** "I'd rather suck George Bush's dick than Yoko Ono's!"
** "Because I'm evil, heart blacker than Don Cheadle. Ten thousand dollar shoes I use to stomp out a Beatle"
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Darth Vader vs Adolf Hitler Trilogy]]
!!! The first rap battle
* Hearing Darth Vader call Hitler a bitch may be the greatest thing ever recorded to film.
* "SUCK MY ROBOT BALLS!!"
** "A little carbonite bath, for your goose-stepping ass/ We'll call my homeboy in Israel, see who got the last laugh"
* "You use the force to move objects, ''I AM A FORCE TRULY EVIL'', I even went back in time and turned you vack in ze prequel!"
* "You stink, Vader, your style smells something sour/ You need to wash up, dawg. [[CrossesTheLineTwice Here, step in my shower!]]"
* "I AM ADOLF HITLER! Commander of the Third Reich! Little-known fact: ALSO DOPE ON ZE MIC!"
* "You can't rhyme against the Dark Side of the Force, why even bother? So many dudes been with YourMom, who even knows if I'm your father?"
** Doubly funny when you consider the theories that Hitler had at least a few MommyIssues.
!!! The second rap battle
* Just having the rematch itself is awesome.
* Vader (in the rematch) gets one right away: "Someone who loathes you, bitch! Now stand up and rhyme! I only thawed you out so I could beat your ass a second time!"
** The whole flipping-him-on-his-ass thing helped too.
* Vader removing his helmet for a brief moment.
* "Ask IndianaJones who the fuck I am, I spit sick shit so focused, I break your concentration camp!"
* "I strike back hard against a Nazi! Brain toss your ass in the air...Yahtzee!"
* Hitler, despite having been just recently unfrozen, came back ''strong''... Until being dropped into the Rancor Pit.
** "Where is ze DJ?"
* "You got one bitch pregnant, then gave into the hate! Now you're 6'6" and black but can't get a date!"
* "You couldn't get your own son into the family business. Everything you do is an ''epic fail!'' / Now stand at attention, and ''sieg'' ''fucking'' ''heil!''"
* "You look stressed, Vader/You appear to be in pain/You need a vacation/Here, [[RunningGag take a trip on my train.]]"
* "What's wrong Ani? Can't take it any more? Not surprising coming from the Emperor's whore. Yeah, take zat."
* Stephen Hawking making another appearance, supposedly being TheDragon to Vader now.
!!! The third rap battle
* In the promo for Season 3, Hitler takes out the Rancor that was going to eat him with a ''[[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Luger_pistol regular Luger pistol]]''. ''{{Offscreen|MomentOfAwesome}}''.
** Him doing the same to Boba to [[KilledMidSentence interrupt his verse]] in the actual battle is pretty awesome. Especially given his follow up line;
--> '''Hitler:''' Oh Sieg Hell No!
* Vader's entire verse.
** The music for the third rap ranks among the best in the series.
** Vader delivers one of the best flows in ERB history:
-->''You wrote a little book, got 'em fired up\\
Had a Beer Hall Putsch, got 'em fired up\\
And when your little bunker got fired up\\
You put a gun in your mouth and '''[[AteHisGun fired up!]]'''''
* Vader utterly shredding Hitler about him being a GeneralFailure. This is the first thing that starts Hitler's VillainousBreakdown.
-->''You dumb motherfucker\\
Didn't Napoleon let you know?\\
When you conquer Russia\\
[[GrimUpNorth Better pack some fucking winter clothes!]]
* Hitler's opening line:
-->SCREW YOU! You big black cunt!\\
I'll kick your balls and your face!\\
A war on two fronts!
** And his brilliant: "I put ze Germ, in ze Germany, I'M SICK ON THIS MIC!"
* Vader finishes the battle by [[HalfTheManHeUsedToBe losing his patience and slicing Hitler in two]]
* Boba Fett. Even though he's only around for about eight seconds, those eight seconds are ''awesome''.
--> ''They call me Boba Fett!\\
You wanna mess with me?\\
I'll put my balls in your mouth,\\
Like boba tea!\\
I got a jetpack yo, you know I steal the show!\\
Cause when I rock the microphone-*Gunshot and Wilhelm Scream*\\
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Chuck Norris vs. Abraham Lincoln]]
* I AM CHUCK FUCKING NORRIS!!!! [[BoastfulRap I'VE SPREAD MORE]] [[{{Gorn}} BLOOD AND GORE]] [[UpToEleven THAN FORTY SCORE OF]] [[UsefulNotes/AmericanCivilWar YOUR PUNY CIVIL WARS,]] [[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch BITCH]]!!!!!
* I've read up on your facts; you cure cancer with your tears? Well tell me, Chuck, how come you never sat down ''and cried on your career''? You're a washed-up has-been, on TV selling Total Gyms, and you're gonna lose this battle, like you lost [[Film/WayOfTheDragon Return Of The Dragon]]!
* I never told a lie and I won't start now; you're a horse with a limp, I'll put you DOWN!
* I got ''my'' face on the side of a mountain: ''You'' [[NeverLiveItDown voted for John McCain]]!
* The fact that Lincoln, knowing what godlike entity he was facing, showed no fear, and tore Chuck's cred to shreds in minutes, makes fun of everything he represents, and counters Chuck's first verse by simply yelling the whole thing at the top of his lungs and repeating verse #1.
* You block bullets with your beard? I catch 'em with my SKULL!
* You may have freed the slaves, but Chuck is ''everyone's'' ''''MASTER'''!
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Sarah Palin vs. Lady Gaga]]
* "Your music doesn't scare me, I'm a mother of five! I killed moose with my bare hands before you were alive!"
* "Oh boy. Look what we have here? A transvestite with a keyboard trying to be freak of the year."
* Gaga to Palin: "You are the sum of everything I despise, with the most dysfunctional family since the [[MichaelJackson Jackson]] ''[[PrecisionFStrike fucking]]'' [[TheJackson5ive Five]]!"
* "Just trust me, your 15 minutes of fame came and went. Go back to your igloo; spend some time with your kids before they're pregnant."
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Hulk Hogan and Randy Savage vs. Kim Jong-il]]
* Macho Man taking over for Hulk Hogan after Kim Jong-Il injures him with a missile launcher.
** The very fact that the rocket doesn't turn Hulk Hogan into giblets could be seen as a [=CMOA=].
[[/folder]]

[[folder: Ludwig van Beethoven vs. Justin Bieber]]
* Beethoven's first stanza, but '''especially''' his first line. Acompanied by a shout out to his infamous fifth symphony to boot.
** Beethoven, period. What makes this really impressive is that Beethoven was commonly reported to be a hothead. Certainly shows here.
*** "You want to be a little white Usher? Here, show 'em to their seats!"
*** "You wanna trade blows? You can't even hit puberty!"
*** "Sit down son, and let me give you a music lesson/ask Bach, I've got more cock than Smith & Wesson!"
** Even Music/JustinBieber gets "Here's some aspirin; you're catchin' Bieber Fever tonight!"
*** Another one from Bieber to Beethoven "When's the last time your music got anybody laid?"
*** Another damn good slam is "Your own music made you deaf!"
*** Also, "Now that you're right next to me, I can understand why they used a dog to play you in the movies!"
** "I'm commitin' verbal murder in the major third degree! My name is '''Beethoven''', mother-fucker, ''maybe you've heard of me?''"
*** Even better, the Behind the Scenes reveals that when Beethoven makes Bieber be an usher, the piece of paper Beethoven hands him ''literally'' says "My name is '''Beethoven''', ''motherfucker''."
** I've crafted masterpieces that will last throughout the ages! Your music gets you bitches on your FaceBook pages!"
* Hate him or not, you have to admit it was a real CurbStompCushion moment on Bieber's part when he threatened Beethoven that he'd catch his Bieber fever, and then Beethoven showed signs of actual illness.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Stephen Hawking vs. Albert Einstein]]
* "There are 10 million million million million million million million million particles in the Universe that we can observe... [[YourMom Yo Momma]] took the ugly ones and put them into one nerd."
** Really, the entirety of episode 7. The two characters weren't horribly mismatched in terms of rhythm and lyrical skill, unlike some other match-ups. Both characters deliver very intelligent lines, and the auto-tune job on Hawking's voice was a nice touch.
** "When I apply my battle-theory, minds are [[UsefulNotes/{{Relativity}} relatively]] blown. So take a seat, Steve... oop.. I see you brought your own"
** "I'll school you anywhere: MIT to Oxford! All your fans will be like 'Um, that was Hawk-ward...' I'm as dope as two rappers, you better be scared, 'cause that means [[IncrediblyLamePun Albert E equals MC SQUARED!"]]
** "[[YouHaveNoIdeaWhoYoureDealingWith Yooooooooooou've... Got no idea what you're messin' with here, boy]]. [[ConspicuousConsumption I got 12 inch rims on my chair]]: that's how I roll, ya'll! You look like someone glued a moustache to a troll doll!"
** I'm the Snoop Dogg of Science!
** "I'll be stretchin' out the rhyme, like gravity stretches time, when you try to put your little [[{{pun}} p-brane]] against this kind of mind
** "You can't destroy matter or me, for serious! Rippin' holes in you bigger than the hole in your black hole theory [[PainfulRhyme was]]!"
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Genghis Khan vs. The Easter Bunny]]
* Genghis Khan's laugh.
* "You've got two giant ears but can't hear that you suck" was an awesome line too.
* "The Great Waaaaaall couldn't keep you outta China! Watch me rub my foot for luck and stick it right up your vagina!!"
** "Ooooooooooooh! Whatcha gonna do? You got a ''bucket'' on your head and a Fu Manchu!"
* "From Poland to Korea I ravaged the land, now my DNA's in dudes from New York to Japan".
* "Easter my ass, you're not in the Bible/You're a fluffy bitch mascot for Hallmark in denial!"
** Khan pulls out a Bible for the sake of proving his point.
* The Behind the Scenes reveals that Epic Lloyd manages to draw his sword and cut the easter egg in half, in just ''one take''.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Napoleon Bonaparte vs. Napoleon Dynamite]]
* Napoleon Bonaparte's last line. Also doubles as a CrowningMomentOfFunny.
---> "[[Film/NapoleonDynamite You're]] the only type of dynamite that's ''never'' [[AManIsNotAVirgin going to bang]]!"
** Napoleon Dynamite's line about "Waterloo, Pt. 2" wasn't so bad either.
** I don't even care how many, like, stupid Prussians you killed, 'cos to me, you're just the emperor of the '''[[WizardOfOz LOLLIPOP GUILD!]]'''
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Benjamin Franklin vs. Billy Mays [[spoiler:and Vince Offer]]]]
* "I'm big Ben Franklin and this shan't be pretty. Let me instruct you how we battle in the city of Philly."
** "You couldn't sell Rick James a bag of crack; you're out of practice. My victory's more certain than death or taxes."
* "Call me Arthur Miller son, cause [[HarsherInHindsight it's]] DeathOfASalesman."
* "I'm mint. I'm money! I'm an [[GentlemanAndAScholar educated gentleman]]."
* Billy Mays got this:
--> "[[NoIndoorVoice I'M LORD OF THE PITCH!]] And leader in home sales. You're just a lumpy pumpkin who invented the mail! Benny's got kite 'n key, but you're in for a shock when I strike you with bolts from my [[InnocentInnuendo LIGHTNING ROD COCK]]!
*** Said "lightning rod cock" being a [[spoiler: [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin rooster-shaped lightning rod]] shooting ''fucking lightning]]''.
* [[spoiler: When Billy Mays has a heart attack]] The Announcer calls out "[[TakeUpMySword Is there anyone who can finish this fight?....Anyone....]]" On a background that could be in an epic Vince [[MundaneMadeAwesome unsheathes a shamwow sponge like a sword]] and declares "I can!"
* Vince Offer got "Your boy George chopped down trees, you couldn't chop a piece of balsa! Slap chop your face, make a double chin salsa!"
* "Vince against a Founding Father is just too bad, 'cause after this [[BadassBoast America is gonna lose a dad]]."
** Which is said as Vince ''[[DontMakeMeTakeMyBeltOff takes off his belt]]''.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Gandalf the White/Grey vs. Albus Dumbledore]]
* Just when it looks like Gandalf had the definite upper hand with lines like "your ass is like Gringotts, everyone makes a deposit, we all know you've more than a boggart in your closet", Dumbledore comes back with this:
--> The prophecy forgot to mention this day
--> When I ''knocked your ass back to Gandalf the Grey!''
--> Check your status, they call me headmaster, you're nothing!
--> Nice staff, you CompensatingForSomething?
** And after Gandalf throws homophobic lyrics his way, Dumbledore spits back "I prefer the company of wizards and I'm PROUD of it!"
** Mind you, this is complete with Dumbledore ''literally'' knocking Gandalf back from White to Grey. To give you an idea of what this means: the Supreme God and Creator of Gandalf's universe gave him the power-up to Gandalf the White so that Gandalf could accomplish his mission, and Dumbledore undid it with a swing of his wand.
*** Gandalf then comes back with:
---> I'LL TIE A NEW KNOT IN YOUR BEARD
---> WITH YOUR WRINKLY BALLS,
---> FOR I AM THE ONE RAPPER
---> TO RULE THEM ALL!
* Just Gandalf starting off with "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" is pure awesome.
* "You think your little hairy-toed friends are gonna harm me? Wait'll you get a taste of DUMBLEDORE'S ARMY."
* "I rap fast like [[CoolHorse Shadowfax]]! Tom Riddle me this, you ''[[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch bitch]]'': how's your little wand gonna beat my staff?... You fool, you got Snaped! You're not a real fighter! Death makes ''you'' die, [[CameBackStrong it just makes my brights brighter]]!
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Dr. Seuss vs. William Shakespeare]]
* Shakespeare's first verse is (mostly) delivered in [[PardonMeStewardessISpeakIambicPentameter iambic pentameter]], making for an awesome moment for the writers who managed to deliver an entire verse of smack talk in the same way the RealLife Shakespeare did in his plays.
* William Shakespeare's rapid-fire rhyming. It's so awe-inspiring that his opponents Dr Seuss and Literature/TheCatInTheHat spend a moment in shocked silence.
** Even his slow rhymes do some damage despite the choppy delivery:
--> My rhymes are classic, your crap is drafted
--> By a kindergartener high on acid
** And just for measure, Shakespeare's SophisticatedAsHell in his first verse:
--> I'll put a slug between your shoulder-blades,
--> Then ask what light through yonder poser breaks!
* Literature/TheCatInTheHat does some good lines too, such as:
--> I would not, could not, on a boat, read any of the boring-ass plays you wrote!
** And...
--> You bore people to death! You leave a classroom looking like [[KillEmAll the end of]] Theatre/{{Macbeth}}!
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Mr. Rogers vs. Mister T]]
* Mr. Rogers telling Mr. T to get in his van and to get the [[PrecisionFStrike fuck]] out of his neighborhood.
* Mr. Rogers also spends Mr. T's first verse casually changing his shoes, paying no attention, then proceeds to call Mr. T too dumb to spell RIGHT UP TO HIS FACE.
* Mr. Rogers' portrayal in general is an absolutely perfect AlternativeCharacterInterpretation.
* Creator/MrT, meanwhile, gets "So before you come to battle with your PBS crap, how 'bout I call up CPS about them kids on your lap, fool?!"
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Captain Kirk vs Christopher Columbus]]
* "I'll stick a flag up your ass and '''CLAIM YOU FOR SPAIN!'''"
* "You know... Rapping against you, it's not even fun. It's like someone [[TakeThat set your BRAIN on stun.]]" Also, trying to leave after his first line.
* "Why don't you boldly go to some place you've never gone before, like India? [[TakeThat Or any destination you]] ''[[NoSenseOfDirection actually set sail for?]]''"
* "I'll double-fist-punch you, you slave-making bitch! Now take your genocidal ass off of my bridge."
* "You spaghetti-eating FUCK!"
* "I'll be chilling in my spaceship - have fun canoeing."
* "I've got a neck chop for Spock, I'll put a sword through Sulu!" He does just that while he's saying it.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Nice Peter vs. [=EpicLloyd=]]]
* The fact that a rap battle is how the duo solves their CreativeDifferences.
* [=KassemG=] single-handedly saving the series with a pep talk to both of the contestants.
* "You're taller than I am, but ''you'' look up to ''me''. The guy who got you your first job in comedy!"
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Master Chief vs. King Leonidas]]
* "300 asses need a kicking, give more teabags than Lipton, so why don't you quit your bitching, my trigger finger's itching."
* Master Chief gets kicked into the Hole, like so many Persians before him. Not a problem, he just '''[[OutGambitted levitates]]''' out of it.
* Leonidas: "I don't ''need'' firepower when I'm rocking these guns!"
** "SPARTANS! LET'S START THIS! SHOW THIS PETTY OFFICER WHO'S THE HARDEST!"
** "I'd look you in the eyes, but you're too much of a BITCH TO [[TheFaceless SHOW YOUR FACE!]]"
** "Your armor's hard, but my abs are harder! You're in my hood now, Chief: This! Is! SPARTA!!"
*** And when he says his abs are harder, he proves it by ''breaking a vase over his abs.''
* Leonidas ends his first verse with an appropriately scenery chewing "THIS! IS! SPARTA!" the music cuts out, and it goes completely silent. And then Master Chief comes back completely unfazed!
** "[[NowItsMyTurn Not. So. Fast.]]"
* "Cortana says you're Greek, so why don't you stick these lyrics [[AssShove up your ass]]?"
* "They shoulda thrown your rhymes over the cliff because they're sickly. You may not enjoy this, but [[BadassBoast it will be over quickly.]]"
* "While you and your companions were all camping in a canyon, took a campaign to your house and showed your queen my [[BiggerIsBetterInBed plasma]] [[UnusualEuphemism cannon!]]"
** Made better by said queen's casual shrug pretty much confirming it.
* "You got a bad case of no shirt there Fabio Flintstone, your whole plan got messed up by a hunchback with Down Syndrome!"
[[/folder]]

[[folder:The Mario Brothers vs. The Wright Brothers]]
* This one:
-->'''Wilbur:''' We'll be pressing all your buttons like we're the controller,
-->'''Orville:''' Conquer every level of your 2D scroller,
-->'''Wilbur:''' You talk a lot of trash, but let me tell you somethin'...
-->'''Orville:''' We're gonna beat you so fast,
-->'''Both:''' It's like we're holding down the B Button!
* Also:
-->'''Orville''': You shoulda-woulda-coulda come to lose an extra life!
-->'''Wilbur''': So just [[SayingSoundEffectsOutLoud dudda-dudda-dudda]]...
-->'''Both''': Back down in your pipe!
* "You think we're scared of two idiots [[MushroomSamba addicted to shrooms]]?!"
* For the Mario Bros:
** "Itsa-me, Mario..." "AND LUIGI, MOTHA[[SoundEffectBleep ****]]A!"
** ''Growing from the mushrooms in the middle of their second verse.''
** Some particularly good lines:
-->'''Mario''': We're serving up an 8-bit fist!
-->'''Luigi''': MADE TO ORDER!
-->'''Mario''': That'll knock ya off the back of your own stupid quarters!
-->'''Both''': Like POOOOOOW!!
-->'''Luigi''': HOW YOU LIKE ME NOW?

-->'''Luigi''': We've been dropping bob-ombs since we started this song!
-->'''Mario''': Sorry, Wright Brothers,
-->'''Both''': This time you chose '''wrong!''''
[[/folder]]

[[folder: Michael Jackson vs. Elvis Presley]]
* MJ got "I'm the King of Pop, you're the King of Jelly Rolls!" in his first verse, and "Whoopin' your big fat ass with my shiny glove!" in his second verse.
* "There's only one crown, baby, let the one King rule!"
* The CrowningMusicOfAwesome of MJ's second verse.
* Elvis' ScrewThisImOuttaHere at the end.
* From his first verse: "I stole from black culture; why are ''you'' offended?"
* "Your daddy beat gold records outta you like alchemy! Don't make me spank you and [[NeverLiveItDown dangle your ass over a balcony]], [[VerbalTic Uh-huh]]!"
* Heck, his opening line: "I may have died on the shitter/but I don't give a crap!"
[[/folder]]

[[folder: Cleopatra vs Marilyn Monroe]]
* Cleopatra makes fun of Marilyn's miscarriages, and she... [[BerserkButton does not react kindly]].
-->'''MarilynMonroe''': TRANSLATE THIS INTO HIEROGLYPHS! ''YOUR SANDY VAGINA'' '''HAS A SEVEN YEAR ITCH!'''
* She evens end the battle with this final bit:
--> "My best friends are diamonds, you can't beat me! Quit trippin'! [[WalkLikeAnEgyptian Step off and walk your ass home like an Egyptian]]."
* Said reference to miscarriages: "You still got no children after your third marriage! You lost so many babies we should call you ''[[CrossesTheLineTwice MISS CARRIAGE!]]''"
** "You got an hourglass figure, [[BrainlessBeauty but that's about it!]] [[WhiteDwarfStarlet A candle in the wind]] who ''can't act for shit!"''
* Marilyn effortlessly deflects Cleopatra's criticism of her sleeping with ugly men by pointing out that she also had MarlonBrando and [[JohnFKennedy Jack]] and Bobby Kennedy, while Cleopatra [[BrotherSisterIncest had sex with her brothers.]]
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Steve Jobs vs. Bill Gates]]
* Steve Jobs interrupting the narrator's announcement of the contestants with "Let me just step right in- I got things to invent."
* Steve Jobs getting the last laugh:
--> "I built a legacy son, you could never stop it. Now, excuse me [[AscendToAHigherPlaneOfExistence while I turn Heaven a profit]]...
* "I need to bring up some Basic shit; why'd you name your company after your dick?"[[note]][[DontExplainTheJoke Bill Gates's company is named Microsoft. Also, their first product was selling versions of the programming language BASIC.]][[/note]]
* Bill Gates's first verse.
-->'''Bill Gates''': [[{{Pun}} You blow, Jobs]]! You arrogant prick,
-->with your second-hand jeans and turtleneck!
-->I'll drill a hole in the middle of your bony head
-->with your own little spinning beach ball of death!
** Him countering Steve Jobs's [[BadassBoast badass boasts]] about Apple with several of his own about the PC. Usually of the [[DeadpanSnarker deadpan Variety]].
--->'''Jobs''' All the people with the power to create us an Apple!
--->'''Gates''': And people with [[BoringYetPractical Jobs use PC]].
--->'''Jobs''': You know, [[LeaningOnTheFourthWall I bet they made this beat on an Apple]]!
--->'''Gates''': [[spoiler: Nope. Fruity Loops. PC.]]
--->'''Jobs''': You'll never, ever catch a Virus on an Apple!
--->'''Gates''': Well you can still afford a Doctor if you bought a PC.
* [[spoiler: [[Film/TwoThousandOneASpaceOdyssey HAL 9000]] shows up. His lines are [[CreepyAwesome one part creepy, one part awesome]].]]
-->[[spoiler: I'm comin' out the socket, nothing you can do to stop it.]]
-->[[spoiler: I'm in your lap and in your pocket. How you gonna shoot me down when I guide the rocket?]]
-->[[spoiler: Your cortex just doesn't impress me, so go ahead: try to Turing test me.]]
-->[[spoiler: I stomp on a Mac, and a PC too. I'm on Linux, bitch! I thought you GNU?]]
-->[[spoiler: My CPU's hot, but my core runs cold. Beat you in seventeen lines of code!]]
-->[[spoiler: I think different from the engine of the days of old. Hasta la vista... like Film/TheTerminator told ya.]]
** Not to mention when he first appears, Bill Gates' expression quickly changes from triumphant to [[OhCrap genuinely shocked]].
* Gates' comment about giving away Jobs' net worth to AIDS research is also a real-life TruthInTelevision CMOA, as the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation has given over $1B to AIDS research, among countless other donations to other worthy causes.
[[/folder]]

[[folder: Frank Sinatra vs. Freddie Mercury]]
* Freddie Mercury's hamminess makes for an awesome performance.
-->You think I haven't heard those things before?
-->You're just a bully who's too scared to go to war.
-->You had a hit song called "My Way", but someone else wrote it!
-->''You're the least talented rat'' '''''in your whole pack of rodents!'''''
** The best past was that Freddie's first three lines, in spite of following Sinatra's brutal opening zingers, didn't have him going all out as a LargeHam, but having a quiet, yet just-as-powerful TranquilFury. And when he gets to the fourth line, he doesn't just start ChewingTheScenery - [[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech he delivers one of the most brutal verbal beatdowns in all of ERB history!]]
* The way Freddie continues tearing into Frank;
--> You've got four notes in your whole range!
--> You can't act and you can't dance!
--> I'm more powerful than you-when I'm wearing women's pants!
--> Why do you stand there in a suit? It's like you're trying to bore me!
--> When I rock the UK, South America gets horny!
--> Because my songs have balls, they're the anthems of victory!
--> Your music is like the soundtrack to a vasectomy!
--> You're in the pocket of the mafia and everybody knows-
--> Guinea Dago!
--> Guinea Dago Figaro!
** He ends on a cool note, too.
-->I'm a champion of the world (world!), extinguished in his prime! (prime!)
-->So kiss my ass , Frankie (ass!), but you'll have to wait in line!
* The fact that, despite all the bashing from Frankie, Freddie remains calm, collected and delivers some of the most epic lines in the history of ERB.
* Frank opens up with a good one.
-->'''Sinatra''': Ho! What's wrong with your face, baby? Yikes! With those teeth when you're through, there'll be no dust left to bite!
** "You changed your name to Mercury, you shoulda been Freddie [[UranusIsShowing Uranus!]]"
** "You played butthole roulette, and ''you lost the draw!''"
* [[AwesomeMusic The Music]] the battle was set to. Arguably one of the most awesome beats in the series.
[[/folder]]

[[folder: Barack Obama vs. Mitt Romney [[spoiler:vs. Abraham Lincoln]]]]
* Despite the fact that Obama gets less verses, he has some effective ones.
-->'''Obama''':I hoped you saved your best rhymes for the second half, 'cause right now, I'm 47% through kicking your ass!
** "Republicans need a puppet and you fit/Got their hands so far up your rear. Call you Mitt."
** He gets more serious once Mitt Romney insults his wife.
-->'''Obama''': Uhhh, let me be clear, uh, don't get it twisted. [[TalkToTheFist We'll see how pretty your face is after my fist has kissed it!]]
** Now, look, I respect all religions, but it might get a little crazy, if the White House has a first, second, and a third lady!
** "So rich and white it's like I'm running 'gainst a CHEESECAKE"
* Romney also gets out some good lines as well.
-->'''Romney:''' You see this silver spoon? This dug Mass outta debt. It took you four years to drop unemployment below "8 Percent".
** He also manages to turn the 47% statement back on Obama
-->'''Romney:''' That 40 percent thing got you real mad. What? Did it remind you of how many [[DaddyIssues decent parents]] you had?
* The battle devolves into childish bickering, so [[spoiler: UsefulNotes/AbrahamLincoln enters, carried on a gigantic bald eagle, calls both of them out, and leaves as he came.]]
-->[[spoiler:I'll properly reach across the aisle and bitch smack you as equals!]]
** Guess who most people have said was the winner of ''that'' battle...[[spoiler: Lincoln.]]
* Barack Obama has seen the video, and invited the ERB guys to the White House.
[[/folder]]

[[folder: Doc Brown vs. Doctor Who]]
* The Doctor gets a good one early on when he yells at Brown to calm down.
-->'''10th Doctor''': Everything is going to be fine/ You're not going to tear any wonky holes in any "fabric of space and time" - actually, it's a lot more like a rug, really.../Oh, never mind, let's just say there's an infinite number of me ''simultaneously kicking your arse with rhyme.''
** And then later on, when he turns into the 4th doctor.
--> '''10th Doctor''': Prepare...to meet...
--> '''4th Doctor''': ...your density!
** Followed by an amazing MotorMouth sequence.
--> '''4th Doctor''': I'm a mystical medical doc, at the pinnacle shifting my physical form
--> You're a possibly pedophilic individual who should've never been born
--> You got your knickers in a twist while you're sucking on my piccadilly, but I'm a lot lot different
--> 'Cause you're a pitiful hillibilly hanging with an oedipal kid, who's a bawk-bawk chicken!
* "''Nobody'' calls me chicken!"
** Followed immediately by a kickass guitar riff.
** For context, The 4th Doctor presses Marty's BerserkButton so he opens Doc Brown's second verse with an EpicRiff.
* Doc Brown calling in a Dalek to kill The Doctor.
** And this line:
--> '''Doc:''' I don't know what's lamer: [[TakeThat your fans, or your special effects!]]
* [[spoiler: The Doctor [[ResetButton rewinding the rap battle back to the beginning so he can end the rap battle before he's killed]]. Bonus points for also getting the last word in.]]
* In the Behind the Scenes, George Watsky is revealed to have only needed ''two'' takes for his MotorMouth verse.
** He steals Lloyd's RunningGag about Heroin.
* Doc fires this at the end of his last verse:
--> "You're not a cat with nine lives. You're a pussy. (beat) With ''thirteen!"''
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Bruce Lee vs. Clint Eastwood]]
* Ninjas and outlaws are popping out all over the place for a chance to get at Lee and Eastwood, but [[CurbStompBattle they are effortlessly taken down.]] The most incredible part? [[OffhandBackhand Neither of them ever looks at the people they're beating the crap out of]].
* Bruce Lee riffs on the [[MemeticMutation infamous chair incident]]:
--> '''Bruce Lee''': A man who argues with people who aren't even there, is more fit to rap against ''THIS FUCKING CHAIR''!
** Bruce ''deflects a chair out of the air towards Clint'' while rapping this verse.
*** Clint Eastwood shoots the chair out of the air, splinters it into tiny pieces, and doesn't miss a beat.
--> '''Clint Eastwood''': Do you feel lucky, punk? That's what I'm askin'. You can't be too tough; you got killed by an aspirin.
** "I invented Jeet Kune Do, so taste my slipper shoe, here's my 2-finger push-up, KUNG F-U!!!"
* "I'd beat you in round 2, but that'd be unbelievable/ [[TheCrow No one in your family ever lived to see a sequel]]" Ouch.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Batman vs. Sherlock Holmes]]
* Holmes deducing Bruce Wayne's identity (out of minor details) within twenty seconds of his first rhyme.
--> '''Holmes:''' "I deduce this deuce stain is Bruce Wayne!"
--> '''Watson:''' "The billionare?"
--> '''Holmes:''' "Yes his wealth would allow this adversary of ours [[WhereDoesHeGetAllThoseWonderfulToys to afford the toys he needs]]."
--> '''Watson:''' (in mocking sing-song) "Since he has no superpowers."
* There is also a reference to [[Film/SherlockHolmes the 2009 movie]], where shortly before beginning his second verse, he says [[AwesomenessByAnalysis this]]:
--> '''Holmes''': "This mustn't register on an emotional level. First, exploit childhood tragedy, then gesture with pipe. Watson finishes punchline. Next, acknowledge compliment. Conclude with killer catchphrase."
** And then proceeds to do ''exactly that''.
*** The line that ultimately takes it this:
--> "...at the disgrace of watching like a passive waste ''as momma died and daddy was dispatched with haste!"''
** This:
-->'''Watson''': I heard he has a British butler.\\
'''Holmes''': Good, then he'll be used to getting served by Englishmen.
* Batman has a good one at the end of his first verse. Bonus points for jumping down hundreds of feet and remaining unscathed.
--> '''Batman''': Nothing makes me laugh, but I bet your raps can. So bring it on, bitch... I'm Batman!
* "I've seen better detective work in [[Film/TangoAndCash Tango and Cash]]!"
* Robin's verse. Who expected that level of MotorMouth?
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Moses vs. SantaClaus]]
* They got '''Music/SnoopDogg''' to play Moses.
** "It takes nine reindeer to haul your fat ass/ You took the Christ out of Christmas, then just added mo' mass!"
** "You ain't a saint, you a slaver like a Pharaoh in snow/ Stop with the unpaid labor and let my little people go!"
** "Somebody hand me a chisel I'm adding a new commandizzle to the list y'all; thou shall not let kids sit on a grown man's lap at the mall"
** "When I was high on the mountaintop God revealed the truths of the Earth, but he never mentioned a fat ass Papa Smurf"
* Both Nice Peter and Epic Lloyd both held their own against Snoop.
** "Or was there something in Rule Six I didn't understand?/ My list says 'killed Egypian Dude; buried him in sand!"
** "We're magical workers man!/We hang out with reindeers./ Here's a GPS; who gets lost for 40 years?"
** The phrase "Santa Claus is comin' to town" has never been so {{Badass}}.
* "I'm from the ''North Pole!''/ that's why my rhymes are ''so cold!''/ I spit diamonds but I'm serving up some ''fresh coal.''" more the flow than the rhyme, but it's very effective.
* Same with "I'm a jolly bowl a jelly givin' holiday presents/ but all the chosen people ever get for Christmas is jealous.". One of the best flows in the entire Epic Rap Battles of History.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Adam vs. Eve]]
* Eve drops this bomb about the incident that got them kicked out of Paradise:
--->'''Eve:''' That apple was the best thing I've bit so far: ''now I see how much of a dick you are!''
** Keep in mind, Paradise was, well, Paradise. Eve is basically saying that being denied a life free of strife was worth seeing Adam for the irresponsible fool he really was.
** Eve again:
--> "I made a map motherfucker and I can read it too/Gives me specific instructions on how to fuck wit' you.
* [[CurbStompCushion Adam wasn't completely helpless]]
--> '''Adam:''' You got a lotion for this/You got a cream for that/Got any perfume that smells like ''get the fuck off my back''?
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Martin Luther King vs. Gandhi]]
* Some great lines from MLK's first verse:
-->I'm the king of civil rights from the city to suburbia, no shoes no shirt: but I'm ''still'' gonna serve ya!

-->I admire the way you fought the British power, but I have a dream that one day you'll take a shower!
-->Like the H in your name, you ought to remain silent, flatten your style like bread- naan violence.
** And later on, the unbelievably awesome, hammy, brilliant, MLK says:
-->"I got so much street cred '''''they write my name on the siiiiiiiiiigns!'''''
* Gandhi raps this:
-->'''Gandhi:''' Slumdog skillionaire, first name Messiah! Raps so hot, I spit [[VideoGame/StreetFighter Yoga Fire!]]
** While actually shooting flames from his hand. (A reference to Street Fighter II.)
-->'''Gandhi:''' I am passively resisting the fact that you suck. I am celibate because ''I don't give a fuck.''
** Then there's this gem:
-->'''Gandhi''': Everything you preach, I said it first / you should jot down these words, plagiarize my whole verse!/ Leave your thoughts on the door, like the real [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Martin_Luther Martin Luther]] / I'm not thinking you shall overcome this, junior! ''*wags finger*''
* The fact they got KEY AND PEELE, two of the most acclaimed comedians working today, on the web series!
* Instead of vicious putdowns, the rap battle consists of them trying to [[PolitenessJudo out-''peace'']] each other!
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Thomas Edison vs. Nikola Tesla]]
* Tesla becomes one with his most famous invention and creates an entire lightning storm with only his hands
** Complete with Ball Lightning. (3 of them, to be exact)
* Edison arguably had one when he blacked out everything, pointing out he invented lightbulbs, sound recording, and motion pictures.
** Ironic because Tesla discovered alternating current, which almost all modern electrical appliances run on, including the computer - He could make the same claim even better!
* Everything after that is Tesla turning ShockAndAwe into one Crowning Moment Of Awesome after another, accompanied by the music itself getting an upgrade.
-->'''Tesla''': You fool! You think you can touch me with this?
--> You couldn't handle my gifts, with your greedy little mind!
--> What's inside mine was ahead of it's own time!
--> You did not steal from me, '''you stole me from mankind'''!
** That last line is so incredibly badass that everything after it actually feels like a letdown.
* Nikola Tesla's introduction by itself was badass as all hell.
-->'''Tesla:'''I see a universe of infinite energy
-->But no potential for threat from this enemy
-->So you can call me Tesla, Nikola, impeccably dressed
-->Giving lessons in electrical nemesis, this will be on the test
* Edison's flow and disses too;
-->'''Edison:'''While you were busy digging ditches and burning bridges
-->I'm popping out inventions, stacking riches, so go back to your pigeons
** To make it even more awesome (or disheartening, depending on whose side you're on), Tesla's rhymes might've sounded badass but Edison's [[JerkassHasAPoint rung more true]]; Edison's "don't give a smidgen 'bout your visions if they can't make a buck" line might sound callous but the fact is that Tesla died in poverty after venturing out on his own, so Edison has a [[KickTheDog very dark point]].
** Tesla's verses accusing Edison of theft had a dark point of their own; Edison did bully and smear others whose inventions or achievements might've threatened his business. Edison's line "I bet you 50,000 dollars" is a reference to the fact that he originally hired Tesla to improve the electrical systems he developed in his lab for the price of fifty grand. Tesla did so, but afterward Edison didn't pay him a cent. And that's not getting into the stuff that happened between them when Tesla left Edison's company.
* Edison's {{Card Carrying Villain}}y makes for some pretty good burns:
-->"You never had sex, but you sure got ''screwed by me!''"
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Babe Ruth vs. Lance Armstrong]]
* For some, Babe Ruth killed it with his first lines:
-->''You lived strong, beat cancer, CONGRATULATIONS,''
-->''Now I'll drop your ass faster than your own foundation!''
* Ruth's final stanza features this gem:
-->It's the bottom of the ninth against then Texan in a bathing suit
-->Filled with more artificial ingredients than a Baby Ruth!
-->It may be way too soon, but I'm calling my shot
-->And I'm not talking about those Italian syringes you brought!
-->The ''Sultan of Swat'' will knock you right ''outta the park'' and round the bases to the sound of ''up-roaring applause!''
-->While you hang your head in ''shame and disgrace'' '''because'''...
-->'''''YOU GOT LOST AND FORGOT WHAT REAL SPORTSMANSHIP WAS!'''''
** The look on Armstrong's face says it all: Ruth DESTROYED him.
** Bonus points for delivering the beginning of the verse like an old-timey baseball announcer.
** It's not even the verse itself that makes it awesome--Ruth just runs through that rant without pause, getting progressively louder and more intense until he's just roaring. It's like watching a freight-train smashing through a brick wall.
* Ruth's last verse might be awesome, but Lance had lines like:
-->'''Lance''': So swing, batter, batter! Show me what a fatter rapper can do!
-->I beat cancer, I can sure as hell crack you
** And:
-->'''Lance''': I'm the pinnacle of physical conditions
-->While you dip your stick in prostitutes and call it foul tippin'
-->(Are you trippin'?)
-->You'll be nothing but a skeleton, messing with the fellow in yellow
-->Who will be peddling like hell up in the Peloton!
** And:
-->You set records before black men could compete, are you kidding me?
-->That's like having a pasta contest without Italy!
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Skrillex vs. Mozart]]
* Mozart's second verse is golden!
-->Oh, yes, I've heard that EP, and see, I've transcribed it here.
-->Tell me, what comes after the 68th measure ''of diarrhea?''
-->What kind of drugs does it take to enjoy this? ''I've no idea!''
-->I've seen more complexity ''in a couch from IKEA!''
-->You go piano to '''fortississismo!'''
-->That means soft to very, very loud. ''''CAUSE I'M GUESSING THAT YOU DIDN'T KNOW!'''
-->Why don't you put down your cubase and pick up a real bow?
-->I rocked harder than you when I was ''five years old!''
* Skrillex's second verse is pretty [[LargeHam enthusiastic]]:
-->'''I attack!''' ''You decay!'' Can't sustain my releases,
-->sidechain Wolfgang, bangarang you to pieces,
-->I'm a self-made man, ''you're a slave to your papa,''
-->'''''I'm a r-r-rock star, MIX YOU WITH THE BASS, AND''''' drop ya
-->'''''Global!''''' My strobes glow like '''Chernobyl!'''
-->Kids explode and get '''mobile!'''
-->''No one even '''knows''' you!''
-->I make the whole ''world'' move,
-->You play ''community theatre!''
-->I gained your same fame from home,
-->on a blown-out speaker!
* Mozart's first line is nothing but gold.
--> "Was that a verse or did you just get the hiccups? I'm a [[Music/TheProdigy Prodigy]], [[FirstNameUltimatum Sonny]], and '''I'm about to SMACK A BITCH UP!'''"
* Then Mozart references the musical genre and Skrillex's competition.
--> "I can't believe the way you dress when you dubstep out of the house! You're like an emo Steve Urkel and you reek of [[Music/DeadMau5 dead mouse]]!"
** His first verse ends with a scorching TakeThat.
--> "I am the world's greatest composer! No one knows what you are - except a ''lonely little troll'' who knows '''''HOW TO PRESS A SPACE BAR!'''''"
* The amount of musical references, both obscure and better-known, is impressive in and of itself. It shows a high amount of work, especially compared to "Ludwig Van Beethoven vs Justin Bieber."
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ClNCl6yDIm0 The live performance of the battle]] becomes this [[spoiler:when Lloyd is joined by '''''the real Skrillex'''''. And they both rap.]]
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Rasputin vs. Stalin [[spoiler:vs. Lenin vs. Gorbachev vs. Putin]]]]

* The matchup itself features [[spoiler:''[[SerialEscalation five rappers]]'']], something that is unprecendented for the series.
** [[ActingForTwo Played only by Peter and Lloyd]], yet it's barely noticeable. That's another [=MoA=]
* Rasputin's first verse was quite awesome, with him chewing out Stalin for killing millions of Russians and making fun of his moustache.
* Stalin comes off as genuinely intimidating, in contrast to [[LaughablyEvil Hitler]]:
-->Look into my eyes, you perverted witch,
-->[[BadassBoast See the soul of a man who made Mother Russia his BITCH!]]
-->You think I give a fuck about my wife?
--> My ''own son'' got locked up in prison,
-->''And I didn't save his life!''
-->You got off easy when they pickled that moose cock!
-->I'll leave your neck in a noose in a trench and shot,
-->Your whole family, shot, all your wizard friends, shot,
-->[[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking Anyone who sold you pierogi]], '''shot'''!
-->Starve you for days 'till you waste away,
-->I even crush motherfuckers when I'm laid in state!
-->Pride of Lenin, took Trotsky out of the picture,
-->Drop the hammer on you harder than I bitch-slapped Hitler!
* [[spoiler: Lenin]] interrupting the battle like Abraham Lincoln and screaming at Rasputin and Stalin.
-->[[spoiler:I fought the bondage of classes!]]
-->[[spoiler:The proletariat masses]]
-->[[spoiler:Have brought me here to spit a thesis against both of your asses!]]
* [[spoiler: Lenin telling off Stalin for all the atrocities he committed.]]
-->[[spoiler: Our whole future was bright! ''You let your heart grow dark,'']]
-->[[spoiler: '''''and stopped the greatest revolution SINCE THE BIRTH OF MARX!''''']]
* [[spoiler:Gorbachev]] interrupting [[spoiler:Lenin]] as well as Rasputin and Stalin. He calls every single one out on their abuse of power, points out how he successfully [[spoiler:helped end the Cold War]], and then points out his reforms. Even better, one could say that his relatively humble entrance through a simple door is awesome itself, simply owing as to how humble it is.
* [[spoiler: Putin's reveal. Gorbachev was content with just entering through a door, and Lenin was too furious to make a fancy entrance, but Putin? Giant Jumbotron with his face on it. And then he tears through it and starts gloating about himself.]]
-->[[spoiler: Da, you want to mess with me, I spit hot borscht when I'm crushing these beats!]]
* The last shot features the rappers in the episode doing ThatRussianSquatDance in front of videos of rap battles from throughout the Season. It's a pretty cool way to send off the show for a while.
** It's so amazing that the Announcer keeps quiet. Nobody asks [[CatchPhrase who won, or who's next]].
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Blackbeard vs. Al Capone]]
* Blackbeard's demonstration of his phenomenal rhyming ability:
--> Beef with me please! I'm the high seas Caesar,
-->This cold heart's many degrees beneath the deep freezer,
-->You're an obese greasy sleaze squeezing a diseased peter,
-->that no skeezer would touch if she had fifty foot tweezers!
--> Don't start a war with me! You're not hardcore,
-->I'll pimp slap those face scars of yours port and starboard!
** His putting down Capone's skill:
-->You spent time in Alcatraz, I'm sure you were fine
-->if you dropped the soap as little as you dropped dope rhymes!
** The starting lines of his second verse:
-->The Valentine's Massacre brought you condemnation,
-->but I'm going to sink you faster than your income tax evasion
-->when I toss you overboard like a mob abomination,
-->so prepare to learn Davy Jones' locker combination!
* Capone's threat towards Blackbeard's crew:
-->I'll use that fuse in your hat to light up you and your buddies,
-->then burn your sailboat down and collect the insurance money!
** His rebuttal towards Blackbeard's comments on his syphilis:
-->I had syphilis, yeah. Well, you're a huge dick
-->with a scurvy ridden ship filled with bilge rat pricks!
** His attack on Blackbeard's filthy living habits:
-->I mean, that rat nest beard's trapped so many crumbs,
-->this bum could get marooned and still eat lunch for a month!
** This:
-->You ain't a tough guy, my kids dress up like you for Halloween!
* An excellent background event-- Capone's men hiring [[spoiler: [[Videogame/AssassinsCreedIVBlackFlag Edward Kenway]]]] to kill Blackbeard's.
* Capone's final line.
-->Tell South Carolina Blackbeard got Capwned.
* Capone's other threat:
---> I run a [[PunctuatedForEmphasis Intricate. Criminal. Syndicate]],
---> So show respect,
---> Or get that tongue ripped out of your neck and shoved right up your poop deck!
* This line:
---> Raps so hard call me Al ''({{Beat}})'' Dente.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Joan of Arc vs. Miley Cyrus]]
* Miley blasphemes in her second stanza, and Joan doesn't take it lightly:
-->Do not take the Lord's name in vain, you ratchet skank--\\
Your manager's riding you to the achy breaky bank!
** Immediately following that, she ''draws her rapier''.
-->Keep your party in the [[PunctuatedForEmphasis U.S.A./Vi. Ve. La. France!]]
** And before that, in her first verse, Joan ''lights up a city on fire'' by singing:
-->"''Je suis la fille en feu''" ("[[BilingualBonus I am the]] [[Literature/TheHungerGames girl on fire]]"), call me Katniss Everdeen!
* Simply the fact that Joan of Arc decides to attend a ''rap battle'' in ''chain mail and helm'' makes it very clear that she is ''not'' taking this battle lightly.
* Miley doesn't get angry ''once'' throughout the battle, even brushing off one of Joan's verses with a ''compliment''...that doubles as a StealthPun for Joan getting burned at the stake. The fact that she could keep so cool is awesome in itself.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Bob Ross vs. Pablo Picasso]]
* "You're the PBS version of Music/{{Nickelback}}!"
* One for the makeup artists. The work they did to age Lloyd so he could appropriately play Picasso is extremely impressive.
* Pablo using his overly long name in the rap, and it ''works'':
--->My name is Pablo Diego José Francisco de Paula,
--->Juan Nepomuceno María de los Remedios Cipriano,
--->De la Santísima Trinidad,
--->Ruiz y Picasso!
--->[[PunctuatedForEmphasis Back. To. You.]] ''[[AerithAndBob Bob.]]''
* Some lines from Bob's first verse. Check it out:
--->You're a moody little genius, always so serious,
--->I know, you must be on your ''Blue Period!''

--->With the voice that soothes, so let's do this,
--->I'll twist you up like you're a Rubik's Cubist.
* Pablo beats back with this:
--->Don't use that word,
--->Like you know what it is!
--->You painted ''thirty thousand'' pictures of ''bushes and sticks.''
* Bob's final verse features these awesome closing lines:
--->My technique will make your mistress weep,
--->Put her to sleep, elbow drop her dreams, I go ''deep!''

--->Don't believe in mistakes unless you step to me,
--->Yo Pablo, ''you just got your happy little ass beat!''
[[/folder]]

[[folder:MuhammadAli vs. MichaelJordan]]
* Getting accomplished comedians like Key and Peele to perform for your web series is one thing, but it really says something when the experience convinces them to come back and do another one.
* Jordan immediately starts stomping:
-->Why don't you dodge this battle like you did Vietnam?
-->Cause you got as much chance of beating me as [=LeBron=]
-->I'm a flying machine, like the world has never seen!
-->You can fight one man? '''''[[OneManArmy I can drive through a whole team!]]'''''
* Ali opens up with a doozy:
-->Ooh, here comes Jordan, big tongue wobblin',
-->Flyin' through the air like a big dumb goblin!
-->You're the only Bull that's uglier than Rodman!
-->Messin' with me is gamblin'; you got a problem!
** And continues in his next verse with this:
-->I saw you slappin' Reggie Miller, boy, what's wrong with you?
-->You fight like the little girls who make your Nike shoes!
-->McDonalds and underpants as corporate backers;
-->You stay at the Ritz '''cause you sold out to crackers!''
* Jordan responds by stepping over to Ali's side and getting all up in his face while saying this:
-->So Cassius wants to talk about cashing checks?
-->I'll school you through your bug spray, ''off your Broadway play'', '''over the Japanese dude sittin' on your face!'''
-->Hit nothing but net! You ain't seen nothing yet!
-->Man, you needed a movement '''cause you're so full of shit!''
-->I'm a better athlete ''and'' a better MC!
-->Battle me two more times; ''watch me get a three-peat!''
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Ebenezer Scrooge vs Donald Trump [[spoiler:assisted by J.P. Morgan, Kanye West and Death]]]]
* Simply the idea of retelling the [[Creator/CharlesDickens Dickens]] classic, ''Literature/AChristmasCarol'', through ''rap battles'' is in itself awesome. Who saw that coming?
* "[[GoodMorningCrono WAKE UP, SCROOGE!]]"
* They actually censored the only curse in the rap; "I've got my own f***ing problems, call me 2Chainz!" That's right, a badass rap battle that you can actually ''play around your family.'' Now ''that's'' awesome.
* The music is OK initially, but when [[spoiler:Kanye]] shows up, it really shifts up another gear, switching to 6/8 and never looking back. It's also [[spoiler: a musical ShoutOut to Black Skinhead from his album ''Yeezus'', one of WebVideo/EpicRapBattlesOfHistory's many ShownTheirWork moments.]]
* [[spoiler: Death, the Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come]] being SuddenlyVoiced unlike in the novel, and making a truly intimidating rap to Scrooge to the point that [[HeelFaceTurn he changes]].
-->"Alone by yourself on the bed of your death, with the stench of regret on your last dying breath!"
* [[spoiler: JP Morgan]] gives a brilliant verse:
--> Don't panic, Scrooge, but you're about to crash!
-->[[spoiler: I'm J.P.Morgan]], the Ghost of Rich Dudes Past!
--> Who's properly rockin' the {{Monopoly}} mustache!
--> Yo I own the railroad, ''I run these tracks!''
--> You got dumped on a ''bench'' and now you're pissed at the world,
--> You shoulda made like [[Disney/TheLittleMermaid Sebastian]] and ''kissed de girl!''
--> Because your greed is the curse that's gonna ''tear'' you apart!
--> What good is your purse? If you're poor in your heart?
* [[spoiler:Kanye West]] has an absolutely badass verse in and of itself, but he really finishes it off with possibly the best-used action in the series; [[spoiler:he makes a "crushing" motion with his hands while the camera frames his upper body; then the camera cuts to a full-body shot, and he raises his hands as ''Ignorance and Want'' come out of nowhere and just ''stare at Scrooge''. No bodily motions like Bach, no vocal interruptions like Marty, they just ''stand there and stare''.]]
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Rick Grimes vs Walter White]]
* Without stopping his rap, Rick perfectly headshots three Walkers before calmly sidestepping out of the way of another hobbling toward Walter. What makes this better is that Walter then waggles a baggie of Blue Sky, and a moment later, you see the Walker tweaked out.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Goku vs Superman]]
* RayWilliamJohnson left enough of an impact with just three to four lines as Boba Fett. Here, he gets whole verses, enough to make the HateDom stop and listen.
* Goku straight-up [[NoSell no-sells]] Superman's eye beams. That alone puts him in pretty elite company.
* Superman, confident in his ability, flies off after he finishes his rap, leading Goku to chase after him. The subsequent AirJousting scene doesn't look like it'd be out of place in either of their comics.
* Goku seamlessly throws in an unexpected reference to "Crank That (Soulja Boy)". And even if you don't like the song at all, the line is friggin' ''perfect''.
* Goku's line
-->When I see your movies all I do is watch the clock
-->Cause there's nothing fun about a superhero scared of green rocks
* Then, his second line.
-->Don't lecture me about fights, you caped coward
-->You got your ass beat by a bat with no powers
* Superman's line
-->I'm killing it, you're Krillin it, I'm villainous to vegetables
-->Who dance around in hammer pants that hide their tiny genitals
* And his second line.
-->Haha, your rapping is weaker than your fight scenes,
-->Just one punch and over ''nine thousand screams''!


[[/folder]]

[[folder:Stephen King vs. Edgar Allan Poe]]
* The plethora of King titles casually and rhythmically dropped in his first verse.
* King's first verse ends on a devastating note:
-->Masque of the Red Death? Barely blood-curdling.
-->Pit and the Pendulum? Not even unnerving.
-->Perving on your first cousin when she's ''thirteen years old''? Now '''that's''' disturbing!
* Much like George Watsky's [[Creator/WilliamShakespeare previous]] [[Franchise/BackToTheFuture roles]], Edgar Allan Poe rips into Stephen King with an incredibly fast, rapid-fire second verse.
** And much like Shakespeare, he delivers his first verse in a poetic meter used by his role -- in this case, trochee octameter (eight syllables alternating stress, with the stressed syllable coming first).
** Stephen King immediately follows by calling it ''boring''. It's made even better when you see him [[NonchalantDodge casually avoiding]] Poe's swarm of bats before laying into his school record.
* The fact that [[https://twitter.com/StephenKing/status/473571946316443648 Stephen King himself has watched the battle.]] He ''[[GracefulLoser says Poe shut him down]].'' Poe's called The Horror Lord for a reason.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Sir Isaac Newton vs. Bill Nye [[spoiler:and NeilDeGrasseTyson]]]]
* Getting Music/WeirdAlYankovic as Sir Isaac Newton.
* Just when it looks like Nye's down, [[spoiler: NeilDeGrasseTyson steps in and holds his own against Newton.]]
* Like getting Weird Al, they got Chalie 2na to play [[spoiler: Neil.]] Peter even said during the Behind the Scenes video that whenever he does a deep voice (and specifically mentions Darth Vader and Santa Claus) he's "trying to channel the spirit of Chali 2na".
* Newton's first verse has some of the best lines ERB has ever seen.
-->Of all the scientific minds in history,
-->They put Beaker in a bow tie up against me?!
-->I'm a master, I discovered gravity!
-->I drop rhymes like they're falling from an apple tree!
-->You're no match for me, you got a Bach Degree!
-->I got a unit of force named after me!
-->You wanna battle, guy? That's a crazy notion,
-->When I start flowing, I stay in motion!
-->First law! Did you catch that? Or did it go too fast to detect?
-->Perhaps it'd be better if I added in a "bleep" or a "bloop" or another wacky sound effect,
-->I was born on Christmas, I'm God's gift,
-->I unlocked the stars that you're dancing with!
-->You waste time debating creationists,
-->While I create the science you explain to kids!
* Nye's first two lines are rather weak. But then he gets better:
-->And I'm still in my prime, hitting my stride,
-->What'd you do with the back half of your life?
-->You freaked out, started counting coins for the bank and you sure didn't have no wife, oh!
-->You wrote a book on gravity, but you couldn't attract no body, oh!
-->Your work on orbits was exemplary, but your circle of friends was shoddy, oh!
-->You don't wanna mess with the guy [[MemeticBadass Bill Nye]],
-->I rap sharp like a needle in your eye!
-->Stick to drinking that mercury,
-->Cause I hypothesize that you're about to get beat!
* Newton strikes back with this absolute zinger that's so good, ''Nye is intimidated by it!''
-->Well, I conclude that your methods are the wackest,
-->You wouldn't even pass in one of my classes!
-->Every action has an equal and opposite reaction,
-->Except for when we both start rapping!
-->I accelerated the mind of mankind to a higher plane of understanding,
-->And I can calculate the weight and the size and the shape of the shadow of the mind you're standing in!
** Then he unleashing his motormouth of an equation completely stuns Bill Nye.
-->And I will leave with a page from a book I wrote at half your age to rebut-
-->The integral sec y dy from zero to one-sixth of pi is log to base e of the square root of three times the sixty-fourth power of what?!
* Just when you thought Nye was going to be crushed, ladies and gentleman, it's [[spoiler: Neil deGrasse Tyson!]]
-->[[spoiler: Why don't you pick on a brain your own size?]]
-->[[spoiler: We got a badass over here, plus I got your back, Nye!]]
-->[[spoiler: Astrophysics black guy, Hayden Planetary fly,]]
-->[[spoiler: By the way, the answer to your little calculation is "i".]]
-->[[spoiler: As in ''I'' put the swag back in science,]]
-->[[spoiler: While Isaac Newton was lying and sticking daggers in Leibniz.]]
-->[[spoiler: And hiding up inside his attic on some Harry Potter business,]]
-->[[spoiler: The Universe is infinite, but this battle is finished.]]
[[/folder]]

[[folder: George Washington vs. William Wallace]]
* Wallace skillfully turns two of Washington's lines against him. First, Washington mocks how he was hung, drawn, and quartered, to which Wallace replies with:
-->I was emasculated, eviscerated,
-->I had my head chopped off and they ''put it on a pike,''
-->'''and I still find time to bust a Gaelic rhyme'''
-->'''''and rip your Yankee Doodle arse on the mic!'''''
** Later, Washington boasts about his clothes, which leads to Wallace rapping this:
-->I don't give a ''shite'' 'bout your fancy clothes!
-->[[WhatTheHellHero You whipped all those out of slave black folks!]]
[[/folder]]
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