Created By: MegaJ on March 6, 2010
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All The Good Men Are Gay

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Launching in a few days, if no one objects. Needs More Examples, though.

Alice sees Bob, a really cute guy at party. She introduces herself, and they hit it off. She gives Bob her number, Bob looks at her and says "Sorry, I'm gay."

And Alice sighs. "Of course he is. All the good men are."

Pretty much a cornerstone of all romantic media featuring women looking for Mr. Right: they eventually find a great guy with all the right things they're looking for - but it turns out he's homosexual, leading to the dismissive statement about straight men.

This is loaded with the Unfortunate Implication that apparently only gay men possess the qualities -politeness, good manners, etc. - women want and heterosexual men are pretty much primitive caveman who don't know how to act in public and treat other people.

Compare to Incompatible Orientation, where Alice may still love Bob despite his orientation. Also compare Sorry, I'm Gay where Bob may actually be straight and still trying to ward off her advances.
Film
  • In the movie P. S. I Love You, Lisa Kudrow's character repeatedly asks out guys by asking them first if they are single, then asking if they're gay.
  • Happens -- oh so much -- in Love and Other Disasters.
  • Zack and Miri Make a Porno -- Miri's high school crush returns to their small town for a high school reunion. Well...he brought his boyfriend.
  • In a rare gender swap of this, the main character of Chasing Amy finally finds the perfect girl for himself: she's smart, funny, attractive, witty, creative, and talented. But she's a lesbian.

Television

Web Comics
  • Reversed(?)in Order Of The Stick, Elan tries to use an alluring policewoman illusion to distract the cops. One says "Sorry, I'm in a commited relationship" and the other "Sorry, I'm gay".

Western Animation
  • I remember this twice on Futurama. 1: A Gym Bunny offers Leela a walk on the beach, and immediately claims that he's gay when she says yes. A double whammy. 2: The gang is at a club, and Bender's built in gaydar shoots down the girls' hopes when they see good looking men.
Community Feedback Replies: 25
  • February 18, 2010
    Kellor
    A riff in the Jack Frost episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000:
    Every time I meet a man, he's either gay, married, or a bear.
  • February 19, 2010
    Unknown Troper
  • February 19, 2010
    Marr965
    @the guy who just posted: Yeah, cause you can then take the line from the Stormbreaker movie, which is literally that title.
  • February 19, 2010
    MegaJ
    Changed it to All The Good Guys Are Gay Or Taken. You think this might lead to an Unfortunate Implication for straight men?
  • February 19, 2010
    Amazingly Enough
    In the movie P. S. I Love You, Lisa Kudrow's character repeatedly asks out guys by asking them first if they are single, then asking if they're gay.
  • February 19, 2010
    goodtimesfreegrog
    What about the genderflipped version of this - as in, all the girls are either lesbians or taken?
  • February 19, 2010
    Twin Bird
    Sorry Im Gay is something completely different, isn't it?
  • February 19, 2010
    SirPsychoSexy
    @goodtimesfreegrog: I think that this is subject to Double Standard as far as what men and women want in a relationship, respectively. Women (in fiction at least) seem to want a Bishonen Nice Guy; men go more for looks, and God forbid any actual lesbians are hot. (Attractive women who like other women are really doing it to get male attention.
  • February 19, 2010
    SKJAM
    Especially annoying if Alice is saying this to the single guy who does want to get together with her, but to whom she is oblivious.
  • February 20, 2010
    Idraena
    Happens -- oh so much -- in Love and Other Disasters. Complete with the variant SKJAM mentioned.
  • February 22, 2010
    Amazingly Enough
    I feel like we have the thing where Alice is complaining to Bob, her best friend, about how Charlie won't notice her, but she doesn't know that Bob has feelings for her. If we don't, we should.
  • February 22, 2010
    Unknown Troper
    "Zack and Miri Make a porno" Miri's high school crush returns to their small town for a high school reunion. Well...he brought his boyfriend.
  • February 23, 2010
    callsignecho
    Can I suggest having two titles: All The Good Ones Are Gay and All The Good Ones Are Taken?

    I'm looking ahead to future trope descriptions where it would be easy to insert one or the other as Wiki Words but having both might make the sentence awkward without a pothole.

    And why not All The Good Ones Are Taken (to make this an equal opportunity trope)? The gender inversion may not happen as often but at least this way it won't be excluded.

    Edit: Actually just thought of an inversion.

    Music

    • Jesse's Girl
  • February 23, 2010
    Twin Bird
    ...I don't think Jesse's Girl is anything but "that one is taken." This is all the good ones are gay or taken, even if we expand it to women.
  • February 23, 2010
    Unknown Troper
    There was a book about Russia I read once called 'All The Clean Ones Are Married'.
  • February 23, 2010
    MegaJ
    @callsignecho you're right. Think I might change this one back to "All the Good Ones Are Gay." Any other suggestions before I change it?
  • February 24, 2010
    Chabal2
    Reversed(?)in Order Of The Stick, Elan tries to use an alluring policewoman illusion to distract the cops. One says "Sorry, I'm in a commited relationship" and the other "Sorry, I'm gay".
  • February 24, 2010
    Amazingly Enough
    Good Ones or Good Men, as Good Guys makes me think of, y'know, Good Guys.
  • February 24, 2010
    Unknown Troper
    In a rare gender swap of this, the main character of Chasing Amy finally finds the perfect girl for himself: she's smart, funny, attractive, witty, creative, and talented. But she's a lesbian.
  • February 24, 2010
    Unknown Troper
    I think a lot of this is meant as a portrayal of the character's point of view. The protagonist only notices good men when they are gay because they have intimacy issues and don't want a man they can actually have. I'm not sure if that's part of the trope or another trope altogether, though.
  • February 27, 2010
    Grain
    I remember this twice on Futurama. 1: A Gym Bunny offers Leela a walk on the beach, and immediately claims that he's gay when she says yes. A double whammy. 2: The gang is at a club, and Bender's built in gaydar shoots down the girls' hopes when they see good looking men.
  • March 1, 2010
    JAF1970
    • Frasier episode "Out With Dad". Martin pretends to be gay, to fend off the advances of an older woman. When asked by her daughter, she sighs, "Opera queen" in a tone that clearly states they're quite common. Subverted when Martin's gay act makes him a perfect target for the daughter's uncle.
  • March 2, 2010
    JackButler
    The Unfortunate Implications of this trope should be mentioned somewhere, namely that for a man to be... how to put it... "socially acceptable", maybe? Or "to possess manners and consideration for others"... he has to be a homosexual because everyone knows a heterosexual man is just a slovenly grunting ape who scratches himself in public and eats with his mouth open.

    Also, Rick Springfield's Jesse's Girl is an aversion because the song expressly points out that Jesse, the man in question, treats his girl pretty well.
  • March 3, 2010
    remakesformoney
  • May 21, 2016
    Otkon
    Earliest reference I can recall is from Protocol (1984). At about the five minute mark, Goldie Hawn's coworkers are inquiring about her date for the evening. Jean Smart's character says "This is Washington D.C. The men are all married or gay or they work for the government." Maria O'Brien replies "Or all three."
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