Created By: Dante668 on August 27, 2011 Last Edited By: Arivne on May 26, 2014

Failbeard

Someone tried to grow an impressive beard. This was the result.

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Trope
In tropeland, there are good beards, evil beards, and badass beards. Then there's these. A character tried like hell to grow an impressive beard, but the result was stringy, scraggly, spotty and overall not all that great-looking.

Needs a better description.


Examples

Literature
  • Two noteworthy example in the Discworld books, both belonging to wizards, a traditionally bearded class. The first belongs to Rincewind, who has "the sort of beard worn by those who are not meant by nature to grow beards (paraphrased)", and Ponder Stibbons, who is stated to have tried and failed to grow a beard, and in the artwork appears to have the barest dusting of a goatee.

Community Feedback Replies: 27
  • August 27, 2011
    Bisected8
  • August 27, 2011
    CaveCat
    A few Garfield strips had Jon growing a mustache. In the end, he shaves it off because he thinks it makes him look like a walrus.
  • August 27, 2011
    CommanderPanda
    • In the episode "That was Then, This is Dumb" of Daria, the Morgendorfer family is visited by old friends of Helen and Jake, Willow and Coyote. Seeing his hippie friends again makes Jake feel like he's sold out and become "The Man," so he resolves to stop shaving. The next morning when he proudly boasts his one-day-stubble, Quin responds with a shriek "EEW!"
  • August 27, 2011
    Chabal2
    Mustache rather than beard, but one minor character in Shortpacked is convinced by his roommate to grow a mustache, which ends up in his giving off pedo vibes and breaking up with his long-distance girlfriend. Actually a Batman Gambit instigated by said roommate in order to split them up. The first thing she does when Amber leaves is to order him to shave it off and has sex with him.
  • August 27, 2011
    randomsurfer
    • One time on Cheers the fellows had a beard-growing contest. Everybody's beards grew in thick and lush except Cliff, who had a few whisps of hair. Then on the final day he came in with a big beard. Everybody thought it was a face-merkin but he proved to them it wasn't by them pulling on it. Turned out it was fake; but he glued it on with Krazy Glue so it couldn't come off.
    • Depending On The Production, Flute in A Midsummer Nights Dream. When cast as female lead Thisbie in the Play Within The Play he objects on the grounds that he has a beard coming.
  • August 27, 2011
    GinaInTheKingsRoad
    Not to be confused with the Moustache Of Failed Heterosexuality
  • August 28, 2011
    MinotaurWarrior
    In Scrubs the Janitor tricks several members of the hospital staff into doing this
  • August 28, 2011
    Gatomon41
    Star Trek The Next Generation: Data attempts this, applying a "a fine, full, dignified beard" to his face. For Data, beards "commands respect and projects thoughtfulness and dignity", and stroking it would make him look smarter. His crewmates thought it was funny instead. Somewhat a subversion, as Data's beard was just as nice looking as Riker's.
  • August 29, 2011
    BlackDragon
    A Penny Arcade strip features Gabe trying - and failing - to grow a beard, with the magnitude of the failure being demonstrated by Tycho growing a full, lush, beard in the time it takes Gabe to turn around once. Perhaps the first-ever example of a Stealth Hi Beard...

    Ah, found it!
  • August 29, 2011
    TrustBen
    Alex tried growing a mustache on Family Ties. The fact that he had to keep telling people what it was tells you all you need to know.
  • August 29, 2011
    Tiiba
    Cosmo Lavish from Making Money tried for the Vetinari look. This is just one of the ways he failed.
  • August 29, 2011
    Duncan
    Kermit the Frog in The Muppets Take Manhattan attempts a moustache for a costume, which is entirely invisible and needs to be helped along with makeup.
  • August 29, 2011
    MasterHand
    If we count mustaches, we need to include Vegeta's from Dragon Ball GT. Even his daughter didn't like it.
  • August 29, 2011
    CommanderPanda
    • Inverted in French film, Le Moustache, where the protagonist has had a Mustache his entire adult life. He decides to shave it on a whim after a day full of people inextricably telling him that they wouldn't recognize him without his whiskers. When the deed is done, no one remembers that he had a mustache, and he goes relatively crazy.
  • August 30, 2011
    Dante668
    Another Garfield example: Jon decides to grow a beard because chick dig beards. He shows Garfield the results of his latest attempt - a few long hairs sticking out of his face like cat whiskers, surrounded by a smattering of sickly stubble.
  • May 24, 2014
    jormis29
    Bump
  • May 24, 2014
    NateTheGreat
    Data doesn't count. This trope is "unimpressive beard", not "silly-looking beard." Data's beard was full and properly groomed, not stringy, scraggly, spotty, or any of those other things.
  • May 24, 2014
    StrixObscuro
    Literature
    • Maester Pycelle has his long, full beard forcibly shaved by Tyrion's goons in A Clash Of Kings. He tries to grow it out again, but it's a scraggly shadow of what it used to be.
  • May 24, 2014
    kjnoren
    I see no storytelling significance here.
  • May 24, 2014
    Bisected8
    ^ Just as a Badass Beard makes someone look...well, badass, a less impressive beard marks someone as a wimp who's trying to look badass.
  • May 24, 2014
    DAN004
    ^ More like someone is made fun of because of his beard (and/or mustache).
  • May 25, 2014
    randomsurfer
    In an episode of Friends Chandler tries to grow a moustache because the coolest guy he knows, Monica's boyfriend Richard (Tom Selleck) has one. He is much less than successful.
  • May 26, 2014
    BOFH
  • May 26, 2014
    Arivne
    • Examples section formatting
      • Added a line separating the Description and Examples sections.
      • Added media section title(s).
    • Namespaced and italicized series name(s).
  • May 26, 2014
    KarjamP
  • May 26, 2014
    eowynjedi
    With Pycelle, everyone who sees the new beard thinks about how much of his gravitas and air of wisdom came from the old one and how the scraggly second beard just makes him look weak and ill-kempt, so that's a storytelling purpose.

    (I'm sure I'm fudging a few details here since it's been ages since I read the book, but that's the gist of it.)
  • May 26, 2014
    Bisected8
    ^x6: Exactly.

Three days must pass before this YKTTW is Launchworthy or Discardable

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