Created By: ElementX on November 15, 2009
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I Am Big Boned

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Fat (or should I say large? chubby? fluffy?) people tend to come up with any excuse they can to avoid the stigma of being labeled as what they are: Fat. The most common excuses heard are that they are just big-boned, it's just baby fat, they have a slow metabolism or that it's a glandular disorder.

This would be Truth in Television, defintely.

A form of Insistent Terminology. See also Does This Make Me Look Fat? and Hollywood Pudgy.

Snake: Give me my car, fatty!
Homer Simpson: What? This is my car! And I'm not fat, it's glandular!
  • In the Scare Tactics comic, Grossout's mother kept insisting that he was just "big for his age".
  • Dudley Dursley's parents insisted he was big-boned and still had baby fat. Of course, the school nurse didn't believe them, so Harry had to spend the summer eating fruit and leftover cakes from his birthday.
  • Manfred in Ice Age. "I'm not fat. It's all this hair. It makes me look poofy."
  • Obelix from the Astérix comics. Calling him fat is almost a Berserk Button with him.reply:
  • In Harry Potter, Hagrid (half-giant) asks Olympe Maxime (also half-giant, but reluctant to admit it), which of her parents was a giant. She replies "I am merely big-boned!"
  • Gilligan's Island.
Skipper: I'm not fat; I'm just big boned.
Gilligan: Yeah, and they're covered by big meat!
  • For Doug he had a crisis when he had gained weight and worked out hard to get back to his normal weight, only to realize he was always a little chubby. Talking with some chunky friends they each gave some alternate terminology like "big boned" and "stout" and when Doug asked what he was they said "husky?"
  • Homer Simpson also averted this one time when he told Marge (paraphrase from memory) "Nobody puts on 20 pounds of bone!"
  • Horace, known as "Fat Kid," of The Monster Squad, to two bullies:
Horace: Look, I have a glandular problem, OK? At least I don't have a stupidity problem!
  • Garfield
  • In Digimon Adventure, Whalemon said this. In the dub.reply:
  • Comedian Mikey Robins once explained that his size was indeed a result of a gland problem: he'd eaten too many glands.
  • Barbershop
Dinka: I'm big-boned, Rick!
  • The Wrath of God
Jennings: My size is due to a glandular condition, Mr. Keogh.
  • Moesha
Kim: [about Kim's weight] It's just baby fat.
Taylor: No, it's just fat, baby.
Eric: You know, at first I blamed it on myself. I thought maybe glands, and then I thought maybe metabolism, but then I thought to myself I'm no racist, so it all goes back to you guys.
Alan Matthews: Listen, Porky, we're in the middle of a serious family discussion here.
Strong Bad: Good grief, Bubs, you've really let yourself go.
Bubs: Hey, man, I've got a glandular problem!
Strong Bad: More like a gravy boat problem.

Community Feedback Replies: 27
  • November 6, 2009
    OrangeAipom
    ERIC CARTMAN

    he is big boned
  • November 6, 2009
    foxley
    Obelix from the Asterix comics. Calling him fat is almost a Beserk Button with him.
  • November 6, 2009
    Unknown Troper
    How about the "BEEFCAKE" from the episode of South Park where Cartman is trying to bulk up to get on TV for being strong but instead gets on TV for obesity awareness and keeps saying "beefcake BEEFCAKE!"
  • November 6, 2009
    Deboss
    I recommend Im Big Boned! which is the most common excuse. I know I've also heard "it's a glandular condition!" It's so common it's pretty much become something to ignore in my mind. At least I admit I'm a fat sack of crap.
  • November 6, 2009
    Cat22
    Deboss' name suggestion is pretty good, but I Am Big Boned avoids the ptitle if you're interested in that sort of thing.
  • November 6, 2009
    random surfer
    Homer Simpson:
    Snake: Give me my car, fatty!
    Homer Simpson: What? This is my car! And I'm not fat, it's glandular!
  • November 6, 2009
    foxley
    In the Scare Tactics comic, Grossout's mother kept insisting that he was just "big for his age".
  • November 7, 2009
    Kinkajou
    • Dudley Dursley's parents insisted he was big-boned and still had baby fat. Of course, the school nurse didn't believe them, so Harry had to spend the summer eating fruit and leftover cakes from his birthday.
  • November 7, 2009
    Unknown Troper
    Manfred in Ice Age. "I'm not fat. It's all this hair. It makes me look poofy."
  • November 7, 2009
    ElementX
    Changed title and added examples. Thanks Deboss and Cat22.

  • November 7, 2009
    Unknown Troper
    In Harry Potter, Hagrid (half-giant) asks Olympe Maxime (also half-giant, but reluctant to admit it), which of her parents was a giant. She replies "I am merely big-boned!"
  • November 7, 2009
    Umptyscope
    Gilligans Island.

    Skipper: I'm not fat; I'm just big boned.

    Gilligan: Yeah, and they're covered by big meat!

  • November 7, 2009
    KJMackley
    For Doug he had a crisis when he had gained weight and worked out hard to get back to his normal weight, only to realize he was always a little chubby. Talking with some chunky friends they each gave some alternate terminology like "big boned" and "stout" and when Doug asked what he was they said "husky?"

    Oh yeah, this is also related to Insistent Terminology.
  • November 7, 2009
    Lee M
    Homer Simpson also averted this one time when he told Marge (paraphrase from memory) "Nobody puts on 20 pounds of bone!"
  • November 7, 2009
    Unknown Troper
    The glandular problem excuse can, sadly, be Truth In Television. (This Troper, however, knows exactly why she's chubby, and that's because she spends all day on this site. ^_^)
  • November 7, 2009
    Primo Victoria
    In Obelix case it's not almost Berserk Button. It is a helluva big Berserk Button.
  • November 7, 2009
    Ronka87
    The baby fat and glandular excuses should probably be included as well; we can still keep the name, but maybe add, "Other common phrases include "It's just baby fat" or "I have a glandular disorder."
  • November 7, 2009
    STUART
    In the beginning of The Curse Of Monkey Island when Le Chuck's crew is skeletonized, the fat one remarks on how this has just been proven for him.
  • November 8, 2009
    Unknown Troper
  • November 8, 2009
    Unknown Troper
    Baby fat is more likely to be used by parents of chubby children than by the children themselves.

  • November 8, 2009
    Unknown Troper
    Horace, known as "Fat Kid," of The Monster Squad, to two bullies:
    Horace: Look, I have a glandular problem, OK? At least I don't have a stupidity problem!
  • November 8, 2009
    JCCyC
    If launched, this will need a "not that, you perverts" disclaimer.
  • November 11, 2009
    Idler 2.0
    In Digimon Adventure, Whalemon said this. In the dub.
  • November 12, 2009
    ElementX
    I'm think about launching soon, so anybody with more examples give them now.
  • November 12, 2009
    ElementX
    ^ Don't know how that happened :(

    I'm thinking of launching soon so if anyone has any new examples give them now,
  • November 13, 2009
    Dhavaer
    Comedian Mikey Robins once explained that his size was indeed a result of a gland problem: he'd eaten too many glands.
  • November 13, 2009
    Arivne
    IMDb Search Quotes for "big boned", "baby fat" and "glandular/glands" as excuses:

    Film
    • Barbershop
    Dinka: I'm big-boned, Rick!
    • The Wrath of God
    Jennings: My size is due to a glandular condition, Mr. Keogh.

    Live Action TV
    • Moesha
    Kim: [about Kim's weight] It's just baby fat.
    Taylor: No, it's just fat, baby.
    Eric: You know, at first I blamed it on myself. I thought maybe glands, and then I thought maybe metabolism, but then I thought to myself I'm no racist, so it all goes back to you guys.
    Alan Matthews: Listen, Porky, we're in the middle of a serious family discussion here.

    Video Games
    Strong Bad: Good grief, Bubs, you've really let yourself go.
    Bubs: Hey, man, I've got a glandular problem!
    Strong Bad: More like a gravy boat problem.

    Note: add "slow metabolism" to the list of excuses.
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