Line #62 Webcomic/TwoLumps


1	Two Lumps is a webcomic about two purebred Russian Blue cats. Ebenezer Dusk, Esq. (usually referred to as "Eben" or "Benny"), is a scholarly cat with a never-fully-described position in the feline conspiracy to take over the world. His brother Snooch is overweight and not exactly bright, but gets a great deal of enjoyment out of life (aided by large quantities of alcohol). The two cats live with "Mom," their human [[strike: owner]] provider of food and attention.
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3	The comic is written by Mel Hynes, and drawn by James Grant. It was inspired by Mel's two purebred Russian Blue cats, Raistlin and Caramon (named for the Literature/{{Dragonlance}} characters -- three guesses why they were renamed for the comic). It updates three times per week, and can be found [[http://www.twolumps.net/ here]].
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5	''Please note: a March 2023 hosting change has broken many of these links.''
6	----
7	!! This webcomic contains examples of:
8
9	%%* AndIMustScream: Snootch's [[http://www.twolumps.net/comic/20120910/ second brain]], possibly.
10	* ArsonMurderAndJaywalking: In [[http://www.twolumps.net/comic/20140602/ this]] strip, Eben's reaction to Snooch's scream is, "WHAT?! FIRE! LOCUSTS! BRITISH LOYALISTS!"
11	* BrainBleach: A vodka variant followed [[http://twolumps.net/comic/20120810/ one Olympics event]]:
12	-->'''Snooch:''' Th' Men's Volleyball Teams're wearin' th' same uniforms azza Women's. [[FanDisservice It wuz Italy vs Greece]]...
13	* BrandX:
14	** Eben wears "Squishypaws" (real product is [=SoftPaws=]) to minimize claw damage to furniture.
15	** One story arc involved the cats' human "Mom" getting a [[http://www.twolumps.net/comic/20050321/ "uRobot"]] (Roomba).
16	%%* BrickJoke: From the [[http://www.twolumps.net/comic/20040316/ first comic]]. Comes up again on the [[http://twolumps.net/comic/20050316/ first anniversary]].
17	%%* CallBack: [[http://www.twolumps.net/comic/20201102/ This 2020 strip]] has one to [[http://www.twolumps.net/d/20060728.html one from 2006]].
18	%%* TheCasanova: Eben thinks he qualifies. [[http://www.twolumps.net/comic/20050518/ Nightmare]] disagrees.
19	%%** [[{{Tsundere}} Unless, of course]] [[http://www.twolumps.net/comic/20050606/ no one's looking]]
20	%%* CatsAreMean: Eben, frequently.
21	%%* {{Cloudcuckoolander}}: Snooch
22	* ConeOfShame: Snooch has to wear a cone at one point and decides to use it as a megaphone.
23	%%* DeadpanSnarker: Eben.
24	* [[DidYouJustPunchOutCthulhu Did You Just Pee On Cthulhu]]: See the third entry under Eldritch Abomination.
25	* EldritchAbomination: Automatic litter boxes possessed by demons, a gate to the ''Franchise/SilentHill'' world in the bathroom of their new home, a new mop that's a Cthuloid critter in disguise ....
26	* EvenEvilHasStandards: The [[WebVideo/DrHorriblesSingAlongBlog Dr. Hairiball]] parody arc combines this with EvilLawyerJoke when the Council of Bad Cats emails Eben/Dr. Hairiball telling him to rename his Febreeze Ray to avoid copyright infringement.
27	-->'''Eben''': The Council is afraid of COPYRIGHT LAWYERS?!\
28	'''Council''': (via computer) Hey, we're merely EVIL. They're SCARY.
29	* ExtremeOmnivore: Snooch, sometimes deliberately, sometimes by accident. Among the things he's consumed are ([[LongList in alphabetical order]]):
30	** [[http://www.twolumps.net/comic/20060213/ Baby powder]],
31	** [[http://www.twolumps.net/comic/20060301/ A bowl of change]],
32	** [[http://www.twolumps.net/comic/20040405/ Cement]],
33	** [[http://www.twolumps.net/comic/20050617/ Chess pieces]] (specifically, two pawns and a bishop),
34	** [[http://www.twolumps.net/comic/20040818/ A credit card]]
35	** [[http://www.twolumps.net/comic/20051118/ Dirt]],
36	** [[http://www.twolumps.net/comic/20050704/ Fireworks]][[note]]Black Cat is a brand of fireworks[[/note]],
37	** [[http://www.twolumps.net/comic/20050627/ A flashlight]],
38	** [[http://www.twolumps.net/comic/20060428/ A Kotex pad]],
39	** [[http://www.twolumps.net/comic/20080303/ Mentholated Chest Rub]]
40	** [[http://www.twolumps.net/comic/20050624/ A mothball]],
41	** [[http://www.twolumps.net/comic/20060227/ Scented candles]]
42	** [[http://www.twolumps.net/comic/20071019/ A urinal cake]]
43	* TheFaceless: Most humans ("Mom" in particular) appear either from the knees down or as voices issuing from off-panel.
44	* FluffyCloudHeaven: A [[http://twolumps.net/comic/20110624/ tribute comic]] after "Eben's" death.
45	* FreakyFridayFlip: In a late 2014 story arc, the two cats wake up to find themselves in each other's body.
46	* GratuitousJapanese: Neither Mel nor James know what the kanji that shows up on occasion means.
47	* HulkSpeak: Eben resorts to this to sum up the "moving day" story arc to Snooch:
48	-->'''Snooch''': Big words?\
49	'''Eben''': Sorry. Ahem. WE LIVE HERE NOW. ME ANGRY. ME GOING TO PEE ON EVERYTHING.
50	* IReadItForTheArticles: Eben's justification for reading [[http://www.catchannel.com/magazines/catfancy/default.aspx "Cat Fancy"]].
51	* IncrediblyLamePun: Both the cats pull these on a regular basis.
52	* ItTastesLikeFeet: Baby powder does not taste like real babies, evidently.
53	* LethalChef: Not that either of them cooks often, but do we even ''want'' to know why Snooch's recipe for brownies includes [[http://www.twolumps.net/comic/20060529/ mustard]] and [[http://www.twolumps.net/comic/20060531/ garlic]]?
54	* LongRunner: 19 years and counting.
55	* MajorGeneralSong: [[http://twolumps.net/comic/20060925/ I am the very model of a shedding individual...]]
56	* MobileFishbowl: The Angry Fish goes after Snooch with a water-filled (and bubble-topped) tank.
57	* OhMyGods: "Great Bast!" among many, ''many'' others.
58	** including [[Literature/{{Discworld}} "by Offler's impacted bowels" and "for the love of Blind Io"]]
59	* PaintingTheMedium: The StrawmanPolitical goldfish's speech is rendered in military-style stencils.
60	* PlayingSick: During a flashback sequence, kitten-Eben gets sick shortly after he and kitten-Snooch are adopted. [[note]] Which actually happened to both of the RealLife cats.[[/note]] Once Snooch finds out that his brother is being given pureed chicken to encourage him to eat, he immediately fakes the same symptoms.
61	* TheScreamParody: [[http://twolumps.net/comic/20050801/ One strip]] recreates the scene when the cats find out that the apartment has been stripped bare, even of food.
62	* ShoutOut: At one point Eben and Snooch encountered a street cat named Tasselhoff, a reference to ''Literature/{{Dragonlance}}'' (and the origin of the real-life cats' names).
63	** One pre-Thanksgiving strip parodied Jimmy [=McMillan=] when Snooch went looking for ice cream, only to discover that the freezer was instead filled with a certain kind of pastry:
64	--->'''Snooch''': The contents... of this freezer... are TOO DAMN PIE!
65	** And [[http://www.twolumps.net/comic/20061009/ this page]] is the ultimate shout out to ''Film/{{Labyrinth}}'' with Sarah's famous monologue ...
66	---> '''Eben''' : Through vaccinations untold and temperature takings unnumbered....
67	** Snooch goes [[http://www.twolumps.net/comic/20120402/ mayfly hunting]] with a cry of [[TabletopGame/{{Warhammer40000}} Blood For The Blood Gods!]]
68	** Archie seems to be fond of [[Series/CSIMiami David Caruso-style]] "[[http://www.twolumps.net/comic/20141017/ don sunglasses and quip]]"
69	** Snooch calls tech support for a problem with the computer and gets [[http://www.twolumps.net/d/20080404.html Greg]] from ''WebComic/UserFriendly''.
70	** "[[http://twolumps.net/comic/20201030/ It's a lovely morning in the bathtub]], [[VideoGame/UntitledGooseGame and we are horrible]] [[spoiler:[[VideoGame/UntitledGooseGame ducks]]]]."
71	** After "Mom" [[https://twolumps.net/comic/20210604/ locks up the cat treats and food]] in a high cabinet, Snooch tries to find the magic words that will make them bust down the doors by yelling "Hocus Pocus! [[Literature/HarryPotter Accio]] gooshyfood! Fetch! [[Franchise/MortalKombat Get over here!]]" Eben asks if he's tried "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ar6xC8KM-jk Hey, Kool-Aid!]]"
72	** Nightmare threatens to neuter Eben (who's hitting on her) [[http://www.twolumps.net/comic/20050520/ here]] if he doesn't "cool it with the [[Music/StrayCats Stray Cat Strut]]."
73	* StrawmanPolitical: The household recently acquired [[http://www.twolumps.net/comic/20101015/ a goldfish]] that speaks almost entirely in stereotyped right-wing rhetoric.
74	* TakeThat: A FillerStrip [[http://www.twolumps.net/comic/20050513/ jab]] at Megatokyo, and the occasional poke at ComicStrip/{{Garfield}} in earlier strips.
75	** They've also made jabs at Webcomic/DinosaurComics.
76	%%* ThoughtBubbleSpeech
77	* TongueOnTheFlagpole: Snooch manages to do this with a [[http://twolumps.net/comic/20050107/ metal window frame]].
78	* VisualPun The goldfish adds tank treads and a turret to his fishbowl at one point, turning it into a Fish [[TankGoodness Tank]].
79	* WholePlotReference: They've done arcs based on:
80	** ''[[YetAnotherChristmasCarol A Christmas Carol]]''
81	** ''[[OffToSeeTheWizard Wizard of Oz]]''
82	** ''Literature/AliceInWonderland''
83	** ''Literature/TheCaskOfAmontillado''
84	** ''[[Literature/TheHungerGames The Hunger Games]]''
85	** ''Literature/TheShining''
86	** ''Literature/TwasTheNightBeforeChristmas''
87	** ''WebVideo/DrHorriblesSingAlongBlog''

Context Webcomic / TwoLumps