1 | Two Lumps is a webcomic about two purebred Russian Blue cats. Ebenezer Dusk, Esq. (usually referred to as "Eben" or "Benny"), is a scholarly cat with a never-fully-described position in the feline conspiracy to take over the world. His brother Snooch is overweight and not exactly bright, but gets a great deal of enjoyment out of life (aided by large quantities of alcohol). The two cats live with "Mom," their human [[strike: owner]] provider of food and attention. |
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3 | The comic is written by Mel Hynes, and drawn by James Grant. It was inspired by Mel's two purebred Russian Blue cats, Raistlin and Caramon (named for the Literature/{{Dragonlance}} characters -- three guesses why they were renamed for the comic). It updates three times per week, and can be found [[http://www.twolumps.net/ here]]. |
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5 | ''Please note: a March 2023 hosting change has broken many of these links.'' |
6 | ---- |
7 | !! This webcomic contains examples of: |
8 | |
9 | %%* AndIMustScream: Snootch's [[http://www.twolumps.net/comic/20120910/ second brain]], possibly. |
10 | * ArsonMurderAndJaywalking: In [[http://www.twolumps.net/comic/20140602/ this]] strip, Eben's reaction to Snooch's scream is, "WHAT?! FIRE! LOCUSTS! BRITISH LOYALISTS!" |
11 | * BrainBleach: A vodka variant followed [[http://twolumps.net/comic/20120810/ one Olympics event]]: |
12 | -->'''Snooch:''' Th' Men's Volleyball Teams're wearin' th' same uniforms azza Women's. [[FanDisservice It wuz Italy vs Greece]]... |
13 | * BrandX: |
14 | ** Eben wears "Squishypaws" (real product is [=SoftPaws=]) to minimize claw damage to furniture. |
15 | ** One story arc involved the cats' human "Mom" getting a [[http://www.twolumps.net/comic/20050321/ "uRobot"]] (Roomba). |
16 | %%* BrickJoke: From the [[http://www.twolumps.net/comic/20040316/ first comic]]. Comes up again on the [[http://twolumps.net/comic/20050316/ first anniversary]]. |
17 | %%* CallBack: [[http://www.twolumps.net/comic/20201102/ This 2020 strip]] has one to [[http://www.twolumps.net/d/20060728.html one from 2006]]. |
18 | %%* TheCasanova: Eben thinks he qualifies. [[http://www.twolumps.net/comic/20050518/ Nightmare]] disagrees. |
19 | %%** [[{{Tsundere}} Unless, of course]] [[http://www.twolumps.net/comic/20050606/ no one's looking]] |
20 | %%* CatsAreMean: Eben, frequently. |
21 | %%* {{Cloudcuckoolander}}: Snooch |
22 | * ConeOfShame: Snooch has to wear a cone at one point and decides to use it as a megaphone. |
23 | %%* DeadpanSnarker: Eben. |
24 | * [[DidYouJustPunchOutCthulhu Did You Just Pee On Cthulhu]]: See the third entry under Eldritch Abomination. |
25 | * EldritchAbomination: Automatic litter boxes possessed by demons, a gate to the ''Franchise/SilentHill'' world in the bathroom of their new home, a new mop that's a Cthuloid critter in disguise .... |
26 | * EvenEvilHasStandards: The [[WebVideo/DrHorriblesSingAlongBlog Dr. Hairiball]] parody arc combines this with EvilLawyerJoke when the Council of Bad Cats emails Eben/Dr. Hairiball telling him to rename his Febreeze Ray to avoid copyright infringement. |
27 | -->'''Eben''': The Council is afraid of COPYRIGHT LAWYERS?!\ |
28 | '''Council''': (via computer) Hey, we're merely EVIL. They're SCARY. |
29 | * ExtremeOmnivore: Snooch, sometimes deliberately, sometimes by accident. Among the things he's consumed are ([[LongList in alphabetical order]]): |
30 | ** [[http://www.twolumps.net/comic/20060213/ Baby powder]], |
31 | ** [[http://www.twolumps.net/comic/20060301/ A bowl of change]], |
32 | ** [[http://www.twolumps.net/comic/20040405/ Cement]], |
33 | ** [[http://www.twolumps.net/comic/20050617/ Chess pieces]] (specifically, two pawns and a bishop), |
34 | ** [[http://www.twolumps.net/comic/20040818/ A credit card]] |
35 | ** [[http://www.twolumps.net/comic/20051118/ Dirt]], |
36 | ** [[http://www.twolumps.net/comic/20050704/ Fireworks]][[note]]Black Cat is a brand of fireworks[[/note]], |
37 | ** [[http://www.twolumps.net/comic/20050627/ A flashlight]], |
38 | ** [[http://www.twolumps.net/comic/20060428/ A Kotex pad]], |
39 | ** [[http://www.twolumps.net/comic/20080303/ Mentholated Chest Rub]] |
40 | ** [[http://www.twolumps.net/comic/20050624/ A mothball]], |
41 | ** [[http://www.twolumps.net/comic/20060227/ Scented candles]] |
42 | ** [[http://www.twolumps.net/comic/20071019/ A urinal cake]] |
43 | * TheFaceless: Most humans ("Mom" in particular) appear either from the knees down or as voices issuing from off-panel. |
44 | * FluffyCloudHeaven: A [[http://twolumps.net/comic/20110624/ tribute comic]] after "Eben's" death. |
45 | * FreakyFridayFlip: In a late 2014 story arc, the two cats wake up to find themselves in each other's body. |
46 | * GratuitousJapanese: Neither Mel nor James know what the kanji that shows up on occasion means. |
47 | * HulkSpeak: Eben resorts to this to sum up the "moving day" story arc to Snooch: |
48 | -->'''Snooch''': Big words?\ |
49 | '''Eben''': Sorry. Ahem. WE LIVE HERE NOW. ME ANGRY. ME GOING TO PEE ON EVERYTHING. |
50 | * IReadItForTheArticles: Eben's justification for reading [[http://www.catchannel.com/magazines/catfancy/default.aspx "Cat Fancy"]]. |
51 | * IncrediblyLamePun: Both the cats pull these on a regular basis. |
52 | * ItTastesLikeFeet: Baby powder does not taste like real babies, evidently. |
53 | * LethalChef: Not that either of them cooks often, but do we even ''want'' to know why Snooch's recipe for brownies includes [[http://www.twolumps.net/comic/20060529/ mustard]] and [[http://www.twolumps.net/comic/20060531/ garlic]]? |
54 | * LongRunner: 19 years and counting. |
55 | * MajorGeneralSong: [[http://twolumps.net/comic/20060925/ I am the very model of a shedding individual...]] |
56 | * MobileFishbowl: The Angry Fish goes after Snooch with a water-filled (and bubble-topped) tank. |
57 | * OhMyGods: "Great Bast!" among many, ''many'' others. |
58 | ** including [[Literature/{{Discworld}} "by Offler's impacted bowels" and "for the love of Blind Io"]] |
59 | * PaintingTheMedium: The StrawmanPolitical goldfish's speech is rendered in military-style stencils. |
60 | * PlayingSick: During a flashback sequence, kitten-Eben gets sick shortly after he and kitten-Snooch are adopted. [[note]] Which actually happened to both of the RealLife cats.[[/note]] Once Snooch finds out that his brother is being given pureed chicken to encourage him to eat, he immediately fakes the same symptoms. |
61 | * TheScreamParody: [[http://twolumps.net/comic/20050801/ One strip]] recreates the scene when the cats find out that the apartment has been stripped bare, even of food. |
62 | * ShoutOut: At one point Eben and Snooch encountered a street cat named Tasselhoff, a reference to ''Literature/{{Dragonlance}}'' (and the origin of the real-life cats' names). |
63 | ** One pre-Thanksgiving strip parodied Jimmy [=McMillan=] when Snooch went looking for ice cream, only to discover that the freezer was instead filled with a certain kind of pastry: |
64 | --->'''Snooch''': The contents... of this freezer... are TOO DAMN PIE! |
65 | ** And [[http://www.twolumps.net/comic/20061009/ this page]] is the ultimate shout out to ''Film/{{Labyrinth}}'' with Sarah's famous monologue ... |
66 | ---> '''Eben''' : Through vaccinations untold and temperature takings unnumbered.... |
67 | ** Snooch goes [[http://www.twolumps.net/comic/20120402/ mayfly hunting]] with a cry of [[TabletopGame/{{Warhammer40000}} Blood For The Blood Gods!]] |
68 | ** Archie seems to be fond of [[Series/CSIMiami David Caruso-style]] "[[http://www.twolumps.net/comic/20141017/ don sunglasses and quip]]" |
69 | ** Snooch calls tech support for a problem with the computer and gets [[http://www.twolumps.net/d/20080404.html Greg]] from ''WebComic/UserFriendly''. |
70 | ** "[[http://twolumps.net/comic/20201030/ It's a lovely morning in the bathtub]], [[VideoGame/UntitledGooseGame and we are horrible]] [[spoiler:[[VideoGame/UntitledGooseGame ducks]]]]." |
71 | ** After "Mom" [[https://twolumps.net/comic/20210604/ locks up the cat treats and food]] in a high cabinet, Snooch tries to find the magic words that will make them bust down the doors by yelling "Hocus Pocus! [[Literature/HarryPotter Accio]] gooshyfood! Fetch! [[Franchise/MortalKombat Get over here!]]" Eben asks if he's tried "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ar6xC8KM-jk Hey, Kool-Aid!]]" |
72 | ** Nightmare threatens to neuter Eben (who's hitting on her) [[http://www.twolumps.net/comic/20050520/ here]] if he doesn't "cool it with the [[Music/StrayCats Stray Cat Strut]]." |
73 | * StrawmanPolitical: The household recently acquired [[http://www.twolumps.net/comic/20101015/ a goldfish]] that speaks almost entirely in stereotyped right-wing rhetoric. |
74 | * TakeThat: A FillerStrip [[http://www.twolumps.net/comic/20050513/ jab]] at Megatokyo, and the occasional poke at ComicStrip/{{Garfield}} in earlier strips. |
75 | ** They've also made jabs at Webcomic/DinosaurComics. |
76 | %%* ThoughtBubbleSpeech |
77 | * TongueOnTheFlagpole: Snooch manages to do this with a [[http://twolumps.net/comic/20050107/ metal window frame]]. |
78 | * VisualPun The goldfish adds tank treads and a turret to his fishbowl at one point, turning it into a Fish [[TankGoodness Tank]]. |
79 | * WholePlotReference: They've done arcs based on: |
80 | ** ''[[YetAnotherChristmasCarol A Christmas Carol]]'' |
81 | ** ''[[OffToSeeTheWizard Wizard of Oz]]'' |
82 | ** ''Literature/AliceInWonderland'' |
83 | ** ''Literature/TheCaskOfAmontillado'' |
84 | ** ''[[Literature/TheHungerGames The Hunger Games]]'' |
85 | ** ''Literature/TheShining'' |
86 | ** ''Literature/TwasTheNightBeforeChristmas'' |
87 | ** ''WebVideo/DrHorriblesSingAlongBlog'' |
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