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1[[quoteright:350:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/meatshield.png]]
2
3''[[http://www.meatshield.net/ MeatShield]]'' is a SwordAndSorcery, ''TabletopGame/DungeonsAndDragons''-style fantasy comic strip that updates Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. ''[=MeatShield=]'' centers on the adventures (or lack thereof) of Dhur, a mighty half-orc barbarian warrior, Ch'p, halfling monk and pastry chef extraordinaire, and Jaine, half-elven mistress of magic, music and sarcasm as they wander the world of Ardris.
4
5The first strip was posted in September 2009 and the 699th and last proper strip was posted in March 2020. Strip 700, a DistantFinale was posted in July 2021 along with a message from the author that due to their diminishing enthusiasm for the strip they had decided to bring the strip to a close. The author did say that one-shots were a possible future project.
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7----
8!!''[=MeatShield=]'' provides examples of:
9
10* AirQuotes: Noral uses them to mention that sentient weapon blessed by the gods tend to find evil "icky".
11* AreWeThereYet: [[http://www.meatshield.net/archive/296-gloomvault/ Dhur, of course.]]
12* AssShove: [[http://www.meatshield.net/archive/papillon-i-need-some-money/ "Papillon, I need some money..."]]
13* BackFromTheDead: [[spoiler:Dhur, thanks to a feud between the celestial tasked to guide him to the afterlife and Borloth the Necromancer.]]
14* BeQuietNudge: [[http://www.meatshield.net/archive/dhur-master-of-pig-latin/ Dhur to Becky.]]
15* BigBad: Disparoxus. At least according to the author.
16* BerserkButton: Don't ever mention "'''RULES'''" around Dhur.
17* ButForMeItWasTuesday: From Borloth the Necromancer:
18-->'''Borloth:''' You will have to be more specific. I have killed many friends.
19* CallingYourAttacks: Lampshaded in [[http://www.meatshield.net/archive/244-attack-name-go/ this strip]].
20-->'''Ch'p:''' It's called "respect for the art", Day'l! Something I don't expect you to understand!
21* ChildhoodMarriagePromise: Except Dhur didn't technically promise anything.
22* CompensatingForSomething: Ch'p wonders if the [[http://www.meatshield.net/archive/welcome-to-scenic-vedris-city-of-serpents/ two huge snake statues at the entrance of the port of Vedris]] means the city is compensating for some shortcoming.
23* DeadpanSnarker: Jaine
24* DopeSlap: [[http://www.meatshield.net/archive/196-disparoxus/ Jaine to Dhur, of course.]]
25* TheExitIsThatWay: Showing that Jaine is upset.
26-->'''Jaine:''' So if you'll ''excuse'' me, I'm going to the archives and use my '''''bardic''''' training to find my mom.\
27''[beat panel]''\
28'''Noral:''' The archives are the other way.\
29'''Jaine:''' I knew that!
30* ExpressiveAccessory: Dhur's belt buckle.
31%%* FacePalm
32* FastballSpecial: Dhur is big and strong, Ch'p is small... [[http://www.meatshield.net/archive/one-fastball-special-comin-up/ It was bound to happen.]]
33* FourFingeredHands: Any non-humans or non-elves (or non-hybrids) like dwarves, goblins, halflings, etc. Snake-people have three-fingered hands.
34* HalfHumanHybrids: Dhur is orc/human and Jaine is elf/human.
35* HiddenDepths: Dhur is apparently [[http://www.meatshield.net/archive/281-free-drinks-for-all-war-heroes/ General Dhur, Hero of Dharan pass]].
36* HurtFootHop:
37** [[http://www.meatshield.net/archive/dhur-master-of-pig-latin/ Becky Sourbottom]] does the hurt foot hop following a BeQuietNudge (or rather, Stomp) from Dhur.
38** [[http://www.meatshield.net/archive/173-boot-to-the-door/ Karma then catches up on Dhur]], who hops in pain when he tries to kick a giants' (and giant) door open.
39* ICallHerVera: Dhur names his brand-new axe "Grinsplitter".
40* IdiotHero: Dhur, in a standard joke, is exceedingly dim.
41* InTheBack: Becky has no qualm against backstabbing bad guys.
42* IThinkYouBrokeHim: [[http://www.meatshield.net/archive/a-simple-question/ "I think you broke her brain."]]
43* IThoughtEveryoneCouldDoThat: Dhur is surprised to learn others can't tell [[http://www.meatshield.net/archive/469-did-i-say-something/ who is a shapeshifter by scent]]
44* KilledMidSentence: [[http://www.meatshield.net/archive/317-becky-makes-with-the-stabby-ness/ This bad guy.]]
45-->'''Becky:''' Mister, you talk too much.
46* LastSecondWordSwap: Dhur [[http://www.meatshield.net/archive/the-journey-begins/ tries one here]], but he's not very good at it.
47* LetMeGetThisStraight: [[http://www.meatshield.net/archive/dhur-and-the-duckies/ A textbook example.]]
48* LiteralMetaphor: [[http://www.meatshield.net/archive/179-a-little-soul-searching/ Leonid doing a bit of soul-searching...]]
49* LukeNounverber: Becky Sourbottom
50* ModestyTowel: [[http://www.meatshield.net/archive/dhur-and-the-duckies/ Well, modesty blankets.]]
51* NakedOnRevival: [[spoiler:Dhur, after coming BackFromTheDead. And he's bald, too.]]
52* NerdGlasses: Stan the orc
53* NonSequiturThud: [[http://www.meatshield.net/archive/175-roll-initiative/ After Dhur is sent flying by a gravel giant.]]
54-->'''Jayne:''' Dhur, are you okay?\
55'''Dhur:''' ''...no mom, me no wanna eat the onion flapjacks...''\
56'''Jayne:''' ...OK, you're fine.
57* OffscreenMomentOfAwesome: Done deliberately and lampshaded. Also, provides the page image.
58* OurLichesAreDifferent: Leonid the pseudo-lich
59* PassThePopcorn: The two drow watching the protagonist duo.
60* PunctuationShaker: Ch'p Ir'kell; Day'l Ir'ket; the Nitsu'a monks in general.
61* PunnyName: Ch'p and Day'l. [[WesternAnimation/ChipAndDale Think about it.]]
62* RolePlayingGameVerse
63* ScarilyCompetentTracker: Dhur, [[http://www.meatshield.net/archive/451-the-dirt-whisperer/ very good at tracking]], [[http://www.meatshield.net/archive/446-meatshield-year-five/ terrible at map reading.]]
64* SdrawkcabName: All of the duchys in Westhame are all rough anagrams of Texas towns:
65** Nitsu’a = Austin
66** Kobul = Lubbock
67** Osapal = El Paso
68** Suropic = Corpus (Christi)
69** Sadal = Dallas
70** A’Caw = Waco
71** Alliram = Amarillo
72** Brown = Brownsville
73** Kilanio is a (very) rough anagram, almost a cognate, of Killeen
74* SecretTestOfCharacter: [[http://www.meatshield.net/archive/698-a-bard-whether-you-like-it-or-not/ Jayne's reaction]] to the unfair and dismissive judgement of her Bardic thesis recital [[http://www.meatshield.net/archive/699-and-now-for-the-real-test/ turned out to be the real test.]]
75* ShipSinking: {{Word of God}}:
76-->[[http://www.meatshield.net/about/ No. I don't feel like]] drawing "''D&D'' meets ''Moonlighting''". Besides, think of what their kid would look like: part half-orc, part half-elf... my friends, that sounds like a one-way ticket to [=UglyTown=].
77* ShoutOut:
78** [[http://www.meatshield.net/archive/dhur-gets-the-man-chair/ At least three in one panel.]]
79** [[http://www.meatshield.net/archive/323-on-the-catwalk/ And three more in this one.]] With CallBack to boot.
80** The "familiar" summoned in [[http://www.meatshield.net/archive/336-how-i-met-your-mother/ a flashback]] looks a lot like Growf from ''ComicStrip/WhatsNewWithPhilAndDixie''.
81** Mari'thella plays with [[Franchise/MyLittlePony little ponies called Prettypuff and Rainbow-Mane]].
82* SiblingYinYang: Dhur and his brother Ghar.
83* SmokeOut: Day'l [[http://www.meatshield.net/archive/244-attack-name-go/ pulls out one]].
84* SmugSnake: Day'l Ir'ket
85* SnakePeople: The inhabitants of Vedris, the City of Serpents. Extract from the ''Encyclopedia Ardrisia'':
86-->''The Church of Vasra, God of Serpents and Secrets, is headquartered here. Long ago, a fundamentalist movement in Vedris prompted the faithful to undergo magical transformations into snake-human hybrids to prove their devotion. This magical alteration has bred true and now nearly 50% of the population are snakepeople.''
87* SpitTake
88** [[http://www.meatshield.net/archive/temp-headline-for-122309/ Jaine, here.]]
89** [[http://www.meatshield.net/archive/333-so-youve-heard-of-it/ And then, her father.]]
90* SuperFlyReflexes: Sora offhandedly catches a fly while discussing a typical mage failing.
91-->'''Sora:''' Mages will spend hours researching a spall to kill a fly when it is so much easier-- ''[catches fly between two fingers]'' --to swat it.
92* UngratefulBastard: Prince Jonus of Westhame
93* WallOfBlather: [[http://www.meatshield.net/archive/182-hmm-no-i-was-listening-really/ Leonid isn't exactly listening to Disparoxus.]]
94* XOnAStick: Lich-on-a-stick. No, really.
95* YouDidntAsk: Turning into a bit of a bad habit for Dhur. Examples include
96** Not telling the others Philo [[http://www.meatshield.net/archive/469-did-i-say-something/ is a shapeshifter]]
97** Not telling Jaine that Philo is [[http://www.meatshield.net/archive/543-he-likes-me-likes-me/ attracted to her]]
98* YouHaveOutlivedYourUsefulness: [[spoiler:[[http://www.meatshield.net/archive/195-or-even-an-untrained-monkey/ Disparoxus to Leonid.]]]]

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