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1[[quoteright:250:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/828173bb0171b8c7f7d46eccf2d2be3f.jpg]]
2[[caption-width-right:250:But that's just how things are.]]
3-> '''Jon:''' So, uh, what are you guys up to these days? \
4'''Diablo:''' Oh, we're just trying to save the universe.\
5'''Fish:''' From doom!\
6
7A web comic by Jon Rosenberg. It started in April, 1997, stopped updating at the end of April 2010 when the author hit financial troubles, was abandoned for a while, and then was resurrected on March the 17th 2017, with Rosenberg apologising for the lack of comics for the last 7 years, and promising to keep updating once every two weeks from then onwards. It started out as MundaneFantastic, but with the Infinite Typewriters arc branched out into a [[TheMultiverse multiversal]] WorldOfWeirdness. It features a diverse cast of characters having wacky, dimension-hopping, SpeculativeFiction adventures. The main characters include:
8
9* '''Jon''', the AuthorAvatar, probable WeirdnessMagnet.
10* '''Phillip''', a programmer who may be TheChosenOne.
11* '''Toothgnip''', formerly one of Thor's chariot-pulling goats.
12* '''Diablo''', a {{Satan}} worshiping chicken who can reattach his body parts.
13* '''Oliver''', Diablo's foul-mouthed, AxCrazy son.
14* '''Fish''', a rather sweet-natured, naïve goldfish who lives in beer.
15* '''Fineas''', Fish's badass, cybernetic alter ego, who eventually got his own body.
16* '''Bob''' and '''Neil''', a pair of [[TheGrays aliens]] with a FlyingSaucer.
17* '''Farmella''', a DefectorFromDecadence who has the Knack for dimension-hopping along the Pub Axis.
18* '''One Death''', a god of the Mayan underworld who runs a software company.
19* and many others...
20
21The KudzuPlot is approaching AlienGeometries territory, but here's the basics:
22
23Jon and Phillip tricked God into turning himself into a pork chop, and ate him. Normally, this would have spelled doom for TheMultiverse. Fortunately, Woody Allen hired a Mayan programming firm, headed by One Death, to write a program on his laptop to keep the Multiverse going. Unfortunately, the program has a bug that will cause it to crash when the Mayan Calendar rolls over on December 21, 2012, leading to [[TheEndOfTheWorldAsWeKnowIt the end of the multiverse as we know it.]] The race is on to locate [[TheChosenOne The Programmer]] (who might be Phillip) prophesied to repair the program. Of course, the ones who control The Programmer will control the multiverse, so wacky interdimensional hijinks are ensuing.
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25Another major plot element is the three-way feud between Fineas, Toothgnip, and Oliver.
26
27The webcomic can be found [[http://www.goats.com/ here;]] the first strip is [[http://www.goats.com/index.php?id=1 here.]]
28
29----
30!!This webcomic contains examples of:
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32* AmazonBrigade: The Farmer's Daughters, an elite group of soldiers and dimension hoppers from Topeka Prime. [[FarmersDaughter They are aptly named]]; they're literally the daughters of the Farmer, Topeka Prime's dictator.
33* AuthorAvatar: Jon Rosenberg, portrayed as neurotic and somewhat vindictive (upon gaining omnipotence he uses it to get back at a simulation of his high school bully), but also a good contender for the cast's OnlySaneMan.
34* BeethovenWasAnAlienSpy: Gregor Mendel used DNA from pea plants to make himself immortal. After spending an unspecified amount of time fighting in cage matches, he got back into mad science by making Fish into an indestructible zombie.
35* BigEater: The Doughboys can devour creatures many times their own size.
36* [[BSideComics B Side Comic]]: [[http://web.archive.org/web/20061205134321/http://www.goats.com/archive/080102.html megaGAMERZ 3133t]], a [[DadaComics Dada Comic]] [[FictionalDocument written by Diablo]].
37* BreakTheCutie: Fish goes through a lot of this. First he's experimented on to be a cyborg killer. Then the cyborg killer personality and his original, sweet personality have to fight for the same body. Then they get separate bodies with some personality traits mingled together. Then he watches a simulation of his crush, Reese Witherspoon, die horribly.
38* ButchLesbian: Cornhusk is a butch lesbian scientist who happens to be a giant talking ''corn on the cob''
39* CarnivoreConfusion: Totally avoided. People eat food made of animals. {{TalkingAnimal}}s eat food made out of [[HumanResources people]]. The PlantAliens seem to be omnivores, too. Everybody's happy.
40* ChewbaccaDefense: When Jon was accused of baking Mrs. Truman's first-grade class into cookies, he got off because the cookies were [[http://web.archive.org/web/20061205134321/http://www.goats.com/archive/971005.html delicious.]]
41* ContinuityReboot: Invoked in-story [[http://web.archive.org/web/20061205134321/http://goats.com/index.php?id=726 here]], when a couple of the monkeys get hold of the requisite typewriter and contemplate resolving all the problems they have with other characters.
42* CosmicFlaw: The main ongoing plot of ''Goats'', when it remembers to ''have'' a plot, revolves around the heroes trying to fix the buggy software code which the multiverse runs on. If it's left unfixed, all of existence will crash on December 2012.
43* TheCouch: Many early strips feature the characters sitting on TheCouch watching TV.
44* CousinOliver: The aptly-named Oliver, whose creation (by Diablo) was arranged by the infinite monkeys to be a more youthful addition to the regular cast. He's a violent, disrespectful, mean-spirited little bastard whose speech patterns appear to be a parody of ''WesternAnimation/SouthPark''.
45* CrossoverCosmology: Let's see, Toothgnip formerly pulled the chariot of the god Thor, Diablo worships a rather nice suburb dweller who might be Satan, and Mayan gods feature regularly. Oh, and God- the real one, apparently- is... not what you'd expect.
46* DeusExMachina: The Doughboys, a DeusExMachina that comes in a handy pocket size. Note that this an in-universe DeusExMachina, as the monkeys wrote them into existence to help Phillip.
47* EndOfTheWorldAsWeKnowIt: Or at least the Multiverse if the program on Woody Allen's laptop isn't fixed before the Mayan Calendar rolls over in 2012.
48* EvilVersusOblivion: One Death is willing to work with the heroes to avert the coming Apocalypse, but he almost certainly has another angle.
49* FlyingSaucer: Neil and Bob's CoolShip.
50* FourthWallMailSlot
51* {{God}}: Jon and Phillip tricked him into turning into a pork chop, and then ate him.
52* GoodThingYouCanHeal: Diablo, whose main problem with getting dismembered is tracking down his various body parts afterwards.
53* TheGrays: Neil and Bob
54* GuestStrip
55* IncrediblyLamePun: Fineas.
56* InnBetweenTheWorlds: The Pub Stub, an "aborted fetus universe" through which all other planes of existence can be accessed.
57* ItRunsOnNonsensoleum: The engine of Bob and Neil's UFO allegedly runs off the happiness produced by teleporting kittens to good homes. No one knows where the Pop-Tarts come from.
58** BrickJoke: Years later, when most of the inhabitants of the Earth are in suspended animation due to lack of Writers, the Math Führer has developed a Theory of Everything which proves "zat kittens is mathematically interchangeable vith ze brechfasst pastry!"
59* KingOfAllCosmos: God takes the form of a pirate (or a short guy in a Halloween pirate costume, really), calls himself Larry, and is eventually killed when he's tricked into changing into a pork chop, after which he is eaten.
60* LetsMeetTheMeat: The Doughboys don't talk but appear to be sentient, and don't seem to mind being eaten. Also, Thor's goats, as in the original Norse myths.
61* LosingYourHead: An recurring problem for Diablo. TheMerch includes a Diablo action figure with a detachable head.
62* MadeFromRealGirlScouts: Actually, that's too cliched -- Diablo used Mrs. Truman's first-grade class [[http://web.archive.org/web/20061205134321/http://www.goats.com/archive/970924.html instead.]] This is not the only case of HumanResources being used for [[Film/SoylentGreen cooking.]] Given that the humans eat meat and some of the main characters are {{TalkingAnimal}}s (food animals, at that), this seems fair.
63* MillenniumBug: In the Mayan calendar.
64* MobileSuitHuman: More literally than usual -- Oliver rides around on the headless, cyborged corpse of a motorcycle gang leader. A [[SubvertedTrope subversion]], as it's not really designed to blend in.
65* MonkeysOnATypewriter: The basis for the "Infinite Monkeys" arc. God's editors are actually monkeys and their typing dictates the "script" for each universe (the two in charge of Manhattan 3 become regular characters). It's shown that without them writing these scripts, the inhabitants of the universe in question just sink into ennui.
66* TheMultiverse: the home dimension of most of the main characters is known as Manhattan 3. Others are Xibalba, Topeka Prime, Middle Pangaea, and the Infinite Monkey dimension. Some of the universes overlap with Rosenberg's other strip, ''Scenes from a Multiverse''.
67* MundaneFantastic: The comic started here and branched out with the Infinite Typewriters arc.
68* NailedToTheWagon: Phillip in the multiverse.
69* NiceJobBreakingItHero: and by "it" we mean the entire multiverse.
70* OrphanedSeries: ''And how.''
71** As of March 2017, new strips are appearing on the updated site, but still at a very slow pace (once per month in a good month).
72* OurDemonsAreDifferent: Xibalba, the Mayan version of hell, is portrayed rather like an ordinary software developing company, with the demons as managers and the Mayan damned as programmers. There's also the demons that you can make with Pennzoil and Cornflakes.
73* PhysicalGod: {{God}} until he got eaten. Also, Thor.
74* PlantAliens: Hooray for diversity!
75* TheRant
76* RealityWritingBook: Typewriter, actually.
77* RealLifeWritesThePlot: sometimes [[http://web.archive.org/web/20061205134321/http://www.goats.com/archive/970416.html amusingly.]]
78* RunningGag: Diablo [[LosingYourHead losing his head]], Jon's bad luck with women
79* {{Satan}}: [[http://web.archive.org/web/20061205134321/http://www.goats.com/archive/050516.html got red skin and 100% less plaid shirts.]] Or does he?
80* ShoutOut: Quite a few to ''Series/FantasyIsland'', including a picture on the wall in some early strips that changed between panels to feature a different member of the show's cast. Also a couple to ''Literature/{{Dune}}'', particularly the early strip where Diablo swipes from Jon's spice cabinet in the belief that it will help him control the universe.
81* StupidJetpackHitler: There is an [[ShowWithinAShow in-universe series of movies]] featuring [[RefugeInAudacity Good Hitler]] as a TuxedoAndMartini secret agent.
82* TakeThat: Microsoft
83* TalkingAnimal: Toothgnip, Diablo, Oliver, Fish, Fines
84* TheMunchausen: Phillip to a degree, but mostly Diablo, whose insane stories involve him being a child by rape of a hen and Roy Cohn's ghost, he and his siblings being raised to be a family music group by a Nazi war criminal, and him being the companion of a quadruple amputee bocce ball player named Shazam Twix.
85* UnusuallyUninterestingSight: "I am '''Thor,''' god of thunder!" [[http://web.archive.org/web/20061205134321/http://www.goats.com/archive/970403.html "He's blocking the TV."]]
86* WeirdnessCensor: People in Manhattan-3 seem not to notice quite how weird Jon and Phillip's friends are. [[http://web.archive.org/web/20061205134321/http://www.goats.com/archive/971015.html Come take a gander at this funny short chap.]]

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