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1[[WMG: Peanuts is actually set AfterTheEnd and all the adults are dead/hallucinations/robots of some variety.]]
2Read the Fantagraphics books, especially the mid-1950s through the late 1960s. No adults to be seen (except bizarre outsized creatures in one series of strips Schulz himself regretted drawing), strangely empty and sterile neighborhoods, the older children like Charlie Brown and the aged-up Lucy making disciplinary and judgement calls normally left to parents for their younger siblings, Snoopy growing from a normal-looking beagle puppy into a giant-headed freak (all that nuclear fallout.) Admittedly, this does create some problems with where Rerun came from....
3* Cloning, obviously. Why else would they name him Rerun?
4* Ooh! Right in the childhood.
5
6[[WMG: All of the kids are being raised by sentient trumpets.]]
7What? Don't look at me like that.
8* Only in the TV specials, of course. In the strip, adults often get speech bubbles.
9* You mean muted trombones.
10
11[[WMG: Sally will eventually stop trying to get Linus to be her boyfriend]]
12
13[[WMG: Charlie Brown instigated the hate the other characters often showed toward him.]]
14In the early years of the strip, Charlie Brown was considerably more of a free spirit, and often ticked people off in a childish, mostly innocent kind of way (playing pranks, etc). This resulted in many of the other characters showing contempt for him from then on as a result (losing ball games aside). Then again, that'd be DisproportionateRetribution on the part of the other characters, so they'd still be dicks.
15
16[[WMG:Charlie Brown is being made into a living weapon.]]
17He constantly fails at absolutely everything he tries. He is ridiculed by his peers and treated poorly by his parents. He is frequently cheated out of his money by Lucy and never seems to say anything right. But after everyone quits his baseball team, he gets so mad he kicks their hats - and ''they all land on his head''. He's clearly a talented individual; some mysterious force is trying to make the normally gentle Charlie Brown into a [[{{Main.Supersoldier}} super-soldier]] capable of incredible feats.
18* Hmm. And when his powers begin to manifest themselves, [[Main/PubertySuperpower right around puberty or just after]], he will learn to speak, read, and write fluent idiomatic Japanese and assume the code name of [[Anime/NeonGenesisEvangelion Shinji Ikari.]] When he is summoned to Japan by his mysterious estranged father to do battle against [[{{Main.MonsterOfTheWeek}} cosmic evil]], he will meet a certain little red-haired girl named Asuka. He will not wear a [[spoiler:yellow plugsuit with a black zigzag around the middle]] because that would be too obvious.
19** But how did he grow all that hair?
20*** He just let it grow out and dyed it black. His platinum blond hair was trimmed extremely short before.
21* The scary part is, [[http://www.whatisdeepfried.com/weaponbrown/weaponbrown.html this has been done]].
22* [[http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=5494832469489844003&q=bring+me+the+head+of+charlie+brown&total=29&start=0&num=10&so=0&type=search&plindex=0 Twice.]]
23* His shirt ''does'' bear a striking resemblance to the uniform of Ginga Yellow from Series/SeijuuSentaiGingaman.
24* [[http://www.cinematical.com/photos/frank-millers-charlie-brown/1419750/ And again]].
25* I like that theory. It reminds me of ''Literature/EndersGame''.
26
27[[WMG:Alternatively, Charlie Brown is Epic Fail Guy.]]
28* The name is '''''SEAN'''''.
29
30[[WMG:Charlie Brown has ''already been'' made into a living weapon.]]
31And then he died. Brown is now in Purgatory, suffering through a million petty torments to make up for his actions as a super-soldier.
32
33[[WMG:Schroeder isn't playing those Beethoven works.]]
34Come on. His piano is a toy covering ''one octave''. It's physically impossible to play Beethoven's works on it. But they're just kids, and his striking random keys sounds just as good and authentic to them.
35* Not completely impossible. This Troper works in a bookstore that also sells toy pianos. Occasionally, this one little prodigy will tap out a rather tinny but recognizable version of ''Fur Elise''.
36* Charlie Brown did ask him once (which I guess counts as a lampshading). His reply? "Practice."
37* It's a player piano. All Schroeder's really practicing is his fingering. His parents either can't afford a real piano or are just too cheap to get one for him.
38* {{Lampshaded}} [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4MVjPNBUdQ&t=5m37s here]] as well.
39* On the other hand, Schroeder could be so incredibly badass that he doesn't ''need'' a full piano to play Beethoven's works.
40[[WMG:All the characters have serious ear infections.]]
41In the strip, no dialogue from adults is written, and the children have a tendency to recite monologues without listening to their audience's replies. Both suggest some kind of hearing problem. In the animated series, the adults make a distorted "waah-waah" noise - similar to how people sound to someone suffering from the infection known as "glue ear".
42* Adults do sometimes get dialogue, though.
43
44[[WMG:The guy from ''Film/KillBill'' that looks like Charlie Brown is Charlie Brown.]]
45Or a relative.
46
47[[WMG:Peppermint Patty and Marcie are lesbians.]]
48Patty is the [[ButchLesbian Butch]] in training. Magazine/{{MAD}} used this WMG in a parody.
49* ''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy'' [[ItsBeenDone Did It]].
50** MAD did it ''long'' before ''Family Guy'' (or ''WesternAnimation/RobotChicken'').
51* Patty--speaking to her friend--makes an obliquely-slangy remark which (in effect) compares Marcie to Billie Jean King (Who she ''does'' kinda look like). BTW Charles Schulz (a straight among straights) was good friends with King in RealLife. Which is suspicious, because Charles Schulz '''never had''' friends.
52* It's made clear that they both like Charlie Brown. They even have pet names for him: Marcie calls him "Charles", Peppermint Patty calls him "Chuck".
53** They could be [[NoBisexuals bisexual]].
54** What about Marcie always calling Patty "sir"? Is their relationship supposed to have a subtext of...[[BrainBleach no, I can't say it]]...
55*** It's [[Tropers/EvilMidnightLurker my]] firm belief that, six to ten years in their nebulous future, Charlie Brown will wake up one morning and realize that [[OT3 (a) last night wasn't a dream, (b) those really are Peppermint Patty snuggled up to one side of him and Marcie snuggled up to the other, (c) this is pretty much the way it's going to be from now on, and]] [[EarnYourHappyEnding (d) all the suckiness of his preteen years was totally worth it.]]
56*** That's...actually [[SugarWiki/HeartwarmingMoments kind of adorable]].
57
58[[WMG: Peppermint Patty is the same person as the Patty in the first fifteen years of the comic.]]
59Someone gave her the '60s equivalent of "Feminism for Dummies," and she bought into it. This is when feminism is new and radical, the "fish and bicycle" stage, when females acting feminine was ''verboten'' in the movement. Naturally, when she adopts this philosophy, it changes everything. Because she believes in radical feminism in a way she never believed the code that came before, she's more herself as Peppermint Patty.
60* Both Pattys have been seen together...or at least during the same time period.
61** It does make a difference which one. If it's "during the same time period," maybe it took a while for her to be able to get away with it ''consistently.''
62*** They're both in the strip from [[http://www.gocomics.com/peanuts/1973/02/16 February 16, 1973]]
63*** And the old Patty has no freckles.
64*** Although the original Patty was also somewhat tomboyish on occasion.
65
66[[WMG:The Peanuts Universe is the [[LotusEaterMachine Tranquility Lane]] simulation from VideoGame/{{Fallout 3}}]]
67Note the similarity of "Betty" to Lucy. Charlie Brown and the other Peanuts characters are all adults whom Lucy has been torturing for two hundred years in a vault beneath a nuclear wasteland.
68* That's an incredibly scary possibility.
69
70[[WMG:Sandy from ''Anime/TheNoozles'' is Charlie Brown's cousin]]
71Think about it. Sandy's last name is Brown. There's a good chance that they're related.
72* In the immortal words of Ben Harper from ''Series/MyFamily'', after telling his wife that the father of their daughter's baby was named Keanu Brown: "With the number of Browns there are in the phone book, it should keep your mother off your back until the baby's first steps. ...Heaven help the boy if there really is a Keanu Brown." It's a common surname, so assuming any Brown is related to any other Brown is pretty chancy.
73
74[[WMG: Lucy did believe, on some level (possibly the outer level), that she wouldn't pull the football away.]]
75Unfortunately, the inner level still remembers the last time Chuck kicked her hand.
76
77[[WMG: Much of the kids' behavior is a result of childhood head injuries]]
78Early strips show people falling on their heads a lot. It can't be healthy for them in the long run.
79* Charlie Brown is extremely unlucky because he never stopped falling on his head. It became a vicious cycle.
80* Lucy has it even worse. Not only did she fall on her head a lot during her formative toddler years, but she always landed completely head first. [[http://www.gocomics.com/peanuts/1952/05/25 This strip is not only a good example but implies this happened every day for awhile.]] Maybe that's why she has so many mood swings
81
82[[WMG: The Little Red-Haired Girl doesn't exist.]]
83We never see her. Nobody else acknowledges her existence or sees her, as far as we know. If somebody claims to have spoken with her, then he or she is most likely humoring Charlie Brown to set up [[YankTheDogsChain Yanking The Dogs Chain]]. We never even learn her name! If you had a crush on somebody, then wouldn't you find out that person's name?
84
85Maybe he's hallucinating. Maybe she's a ghost. Maybe she's a projection from a [[Series/BattlestarGalactica2003 chip implanted in his brain]]... Nah, that would be ridiculous. Or brilliant?
86* In that case, the [[strike:Valentine's Day]] Homecoming special makes Linus into a horrible person. Charlie Brown says he can't remember anything about the night before and Linus says that he danced with the Red Haired Girl all night...that's horrible!
87** Schulz declared that special non-canon. Sure he said that the cartoons in general "don't count", but ''It's Your First Kiss'' is the only one that ''really'' goes against the strip to the point he had to say something.
88* Also in conflict with this theory (or at least contributing to the "Linus is a dick" clause) is a strip in which Linus actually ''won'' a baseball game and told Charlie Brown that he got a hug from the Red-Haired Girl.
89* There is a strip towards the end of the comic's run where Snoopy is seen dancing with the Little Red-Haired Girl (albeit in silhouette).
90* And (linked to on the Heartwarming and Tearjerker pages) Peppermint Patty met her once.
91* She's also seen off-stage in {{Theatre/Youre A Good Man Charlie Brown}}, where Charlie Brown finds one of her pencils and is relieved that it has bite marksr on it because it means she's human.
92* Schulz never showed her because he wanted the readers to imagine their ideal girl as the little red-haired girl.
93* Charlie Brown not knowing her name isn't actually that unrealistic. He could have forgotten her name, especially possible if he spaces out staring at her in class instead of paying attention to attendance or if they don't share a class, but he's too much of a nervous wreck to ask her. Doesn't really explain why Linus or anyone else who knows her doesn't tell her or seem to know her name themselves. Perhaps, like Pig Pen and Rerun, she simply lacks a "real" name.
94* One other possibility involving Charlie Brown not remembering anything about the previous night. Since Charlie Brown - in addition to landing hard on his back each time he kicked - is seen crawling out of a pile twice and clearly was woozy to the point of asking (twice) what happened after being run over during a punt and asking if it was baseball season; most likely Charlie Brown had a pretty serious concussion.
95
96[[WMG: LINUS is the Little Red Haired Girl.]]
97 Just to screw with Charlie Brown's head.
98* And with us, the readers... The only thing that would be half a mile away from proof would be that [[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech Speech]] he gave. And then again, motives ARE important.
99** Yeah, unfortunately for this theory, there was that series of strips in 1977 where Peppermint Patty met the Little Red Haired Girl face-to-face and recounted the story ''to Linus''.
100
101[[WMG: The Great Pumpkin is real.]]
102Or, at least, WAS real. It was the gigantic pumpkin that Lucy and Linus carved up at the beginning of the special.
103* Actually, it ''is'' real. At least one comic has Charlie Brown informing Linus that the Great Pumpkin rose out of a pumpkin patch in New Jersey that year.
104** That was likely Charlie Brown trolling/humoring Linus.
105** Or maybe there are other people who believe in the Great Pumpkin.
106
107[[WMG:Charlie Brown would have still flown up in the air and landed on his back even if he DID kick the football.]]
108Let's face it: the amount of momentum necessary to give yourself that kind of pratfall won't be slowed down by a measly little football.
109
110[[WMG:The strip takes place through the eyes of AuthorAvatar Snoopy.]]
111This explains the mild {{Flanderization}}, as well as the fact that the children don't age; they're actually ten or eleven when the strip ends, but Snoopy thinks of them as perpetually the age at which they were nicest to Snoopy. He dies at the end of the strip, after composing the letter to his fans, at peace.
112
113[[WMG:Lucy keeps Charlie Brown miserable to drum up business.]]
114Charlie Brown is the only one pathetic enough to keep going to her for psychiatric advice, so she makes sure he stays miserable so he won't stop going to her stand. With all the nickels she makes from just Charlie Brown she could easily bribe other people, even adults, into keeping him miserable.
115* Was the lemonade ever any good?
116
117[[WMG:Charlie Brown is the alternate universe counterpart of/will be reincarnated as [[WesternAnimation/EdEddNEddy Eddy]].]]
118The main hint would be the shirts. They're both the Butt Monkey of their respective universes, even at the times when they're not doing anything particularly bad. They also both never seem to get what they want, no matter how close they get. When they do, it's either a rare case of Throw The Dog A Bone, or the much more common Yank The Dogs Chain (Charlie: Kicking the football, Eddy: Jawbreakers.)
119* Except Charlie Brown is a lovable loser. Eddy is a {{jerkass}}.
120** There's more to Eddy than that though [[spoiler: especially considering the Ed, Edd 'n' Eddy [[TheMovie movie]], where Eddy's {{Jerkass}} tendencies are just a front for a Butt Monkey who's actually nice.]] So this fits, actually.
121
122[[WMG:Schroeder is a "racially pure" neo-Nazi baby bred in South America shortly after World War II.]]
123I mean, how many six-year-olds use hair dye? That's the only way one can account for his hair being so unnaturally blond. It also would explain his great love for German music.
124* Okay... but can you explain Sally's unnaturally blond hair?
125** [[strike:Eugenics]] Genetics, just like her older brother.
126* Schroeder is Sally & Charlie Brown's cousin. They're the only blond kids in the group, and Charlie seems to hang with Schroeder most after Linus.
127** Eh, technically Patty (the original) has blonde hair too; it's just a sort of strawberry-blonde.
128* Schulz was born in the UsefulNotes/TwinCities, which like the rest of that region is known for... people of Germanic ancestry, including himself. This is why most surnames in Peanuts are either German or Dutch.
129* Have you ever seen naturally-true-blond (i.e. with no other colours mixed in) kids when they're little? Before they hit puberty, their hair is just a couple shades off of albino. There's even a name for it: "Towhead". Now as these kids get older, their hair almost always darkens to some degree or another depending on genetics.
130** Fun Fact: Northern Europeans are by far the most likely (as in, pretty much the ONLY) racial group to have blond hair. In a place like the upper-Midwest and Northern Great Plains, which is made up chiefly of descendents of immigrants from that part of the world, kids with hair like the Browns' or Schroeder's is not uncommon… and was probably standard back in the 20's-30's when Schulz grew up there (before people from different ethnic/racial backgrounds moved in and diversified the gene pool).
131
132[[WMG:The Kite-Eating Tree is a literal epileptic tree.]]
133It eats kites as part of its epileptic fits.
134
135[[WMG:Rerun is a clone of Linus]]
136Lucy was actually an evil genius who made a clone of her brother so said clone could become her evil henchman and help her torture Linus and Charlie Brown. That's the only way Rerun's abnormal physical similarities to Linus could be explained. That also explains why EVERY CHARACTER calls him Rerun, which is supposedly his nickname, because his real name is, well, non-existent. Lastly, explains why Lucy is so much nicer to him than to Linus.
137* One problem: Mrs. Van Pelt went to the hospital and Lucy was shocked when she got a phone call saying she had a new brother.
138* Also worth noting: in the final Charlie brown-tries-to-kick-the-football strip, Rerun tortures Lucy by not telling her if he pulled the football away or not.
139
140
141[[WMG: The Great Pumpkin is just a huge jerk.]]
142It very carefully manifests as quietly as possible right behind Linus, every Halloween, then flies off to give candy to everyone but Chuck and Linus, on the condition that nobody tells. Not as a metaphor for faith, or because GodsNeedPrayerBadly and the fideists are right about proof canceling out belief, but [[JerkassGods just because it feels like it]].
143* But one year, Sally and her friend Eudora waited for the Great Pumpkin (they didn't see him) and Linus and Charlie Brown didn't. Does that mean that Linus and Charlie Brown actually saw the Great Pumpkin, then?
144
145[[WMG: The great pumpkin is [[Franchise/TheSlenderManMythos Slender Man]]]]
146When Linus was a baby he had an encounter with Slender man in a pumpkin patch and was fascinated by him. And now he waits out in the Pumpkin patch ever since waiting for him.
147
148[[WMG: Frieda is the little red-haired girl]]
149Frieda, for those of you who don't know, was a [[WhatHappenedToTheMouse quickly dropped]] minor character who was very proud of her naturally curly red hair. It could be that, after she was introduced, Charlie Brown developed a crush on her, and wanted to tell everyone about how LoveHurts and etc., but he didn't want to say the name of the girl he liked to avoid embarrassment. So, to subtly hint that it was Frieda, he refered to her as "The Little Red-Haired Girl", since referring to her as the "Naturally Curly-Haired Girl" would be way too obvious. That also explains why Charlie Brown seems to be almost 100% sure that she doesn't like him back, because a few strips have shown that Frieda has a crush on Schroeder.
150* Except CB has no problem talking to Frieda. If she really was the LRHG he wouldn't be able to get within ten feet of her without freaking out.
151* Officially {{Jossed}} by the LRHG's silhouette, which looks nothing like Frieda.
152* Which is rather unfortunate because the dramatic irony's just too much to not let it be my headcanon. She's pretty much the only one on the baseball team who doesn't berate him--suggesting at the very least that she's legitimate friend alongside Linus. And there's an arc in the '70s where the Little Red-Haired Girl moves away, and Frieda stops appearing around the same time.
153** They could be sisters, half-siblings, or similar-looking cousins. Like YMMV/YosemiteSam and Blacque Jacque Shellacque were revealed to be in ''WesternAnimation/TheLooneyTunesShow''...
154
155[[WMG: Schroeder is gay]]
156Not like I truly believe the above statement, but you never know...
157* I'd sooner believe he's gay than Peppermint Patty or Marcie.
158** What, because he's impervious to '''Lucy's''' advances?
159*** Times change. For those of us who grew up with Peanuts in the '50-through-early-'70s, you remember – being a boy who was ''friendly'' to girls made you (at least) sissy, and probably queer. Also: see next entry.
160** [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dog_Sees_God:_Confessions_of_a_Teenage_Blockhead well then... you should see this...]]
161
162[[WMG: The whole ''Franchise/{{Peanuts}}'' universe is Hell, and Lucy is the Devil]]
163That's the only way everybody's lives could be so miserable. And who causes most of this misery? Lucy. And her name sounds like the name Lucifer.
164
165[[WMG: The Great Pumpkin will not appear to anyone who makes Jack-O-Lanterns]]
166This is a LighterAndSofter version of ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons'' "Treehouse of Horror" short a few years ago, where the Great Pumpkin {{Expy}} becomes enraged at the idea of Jack-O-Lanterns, pumpkin bread, and roasted pumpkin seeds. It also explains why he never shows up.
167* It also explains why Linus was so upset when Lucy "killed" the pumpkin.
168
169[[WMG: On [[WesternAnimation/ItsTheGreatPumpkinCharlieBrown Halloween]], Charlie Brown dressed up as [[ComicBook/{{Watchmen}} Rorschach]] ]]
170[[http://cheezburger.com/faerdin/lolz/View/2802836992 Here's the proof.]] Exactly why Charlie Brown would dress up as Rorschach has yet to be explained, however.
171* But in that picture at least, Rorshach is wearing a hat. (I've never read ''Watchmen'' either though.)
172* If Charlie Brown admires Rorschach, then Lucy had better watch her back.
173* Hm. Tonight, a kite-eating tree was cut in New York. Somebody knows why. Somebody knows.
174
175[[WMG: The entirety of Peanuts is a magical working on the part of Charles Schulz.]]
176You may recall Creator/GrantMorrison and his claim that in his book ''ComicBook/TheInvisibles'', his author avatar got lucky as part of a magical working to bring him similar... luck. The entirety of ''Peanuts'' is a reversal of that working.
177* Charles Schulz grew more famous, wealthy, and beloved in ''exact'' proportion to the degree that Charlie Brown suffered.
178* Charlie Brown was his AuthorAvatar.
179* In interviews, he admitted guilt over the constant need to make Charlie Brown the [[ChewToy goat]], and all his life he suffered from depression over the disconnect between his fame and his self-loathing -- and then from the difficulty of making his avatar's life suck when his really didn't anymore.
180* And the day the last strip ran -- the day he stopped tormenting Charlie Brown -- he died.
181** Actually, Charlie Brown's life got a bit better by the end of the strip. Charlie Brown had a girlfriend named Peggy Jean for part of the 1990's (but they eventually broke up), and he also beat a bully in a game of marbles in 1995.
182** That's because the guilt got to be too much for Charles Schulz, and he had to ThrowTheDogABone, resulting in his failing health. He finally had Charlie Brown break up with Peggy Jean because he grew scared that if their relationship got too permanent, Charlie Brown would become secure and he'd lose everything he had.
183
184[[WMG: [[ComicStrip/{{Dilbert}} Dogbert]] is the Red Baron.]]
185Think about it. Snoopy and Dogbert are both extremely intelligent and imaginative dogs from popular NewspaperComics, and both are the type to pretend to be a World War I flying ace. Dogbert, however, is much more [[SlidingScaleOfIdealismVsCynicism cynical]] and generally evil than Snoopy, making him more suited to the [[{{Heel}} antagonist]] role of the Red Baron.
186* And both have the ability to interface with other dimensions, creating a mental world that enables them to interact. One wonders what part the ''Dilbert'' characters play...
187
188[[WMG: The Great Pumpkin is [[WesternAnimation/TheNightmareBeforeChristmas Jack Skellington]]…]]
189...wearing his pumpkin-head disguise. Jack has tons of names in the real world, after all. The Great Pumpkin is probably one of them. Linus heard rumors of Jack's Halloween appearances and of his ill-fated Christmas scheme. From these, he concocted a theory that "The Great Pumpkin" is Halloween's equivalent of Santa Claus. If that's the case, then it's probably a good thing that Linus has never seen him...
190
191[[WMG: Charlie Brown's life his one giant FreudianExcuse (or a deconstruction of one).]]
192Charlie Brown fails at everything, everyone makes fun of him, and his life generally sucks. That will probably cause him to eventually become a jerk. The comic strip of ''Peanuts'', however, shows his life as a decent guy slowly suffering and turning into a jerk, rather than him actually being one.
193
194[[WMG: Marcie grew up to be Honey from ''ComicStrip/{{Doonesbury}}''.]]
195Marcie was born in China and given the name Hua Ni. When her parents immigrated to America, her name was changed to Marcie so she'd have an easier time fitting in. She was smart and friendly and good at learning languages. (She learned English, Mandarin, and French fluently before age 10) It would explain why her family never celebrated Easter and why she made egg drop soup when Peppermint Patty told her to cook the eggs. In adolescence, Marcie was bitterly disappointed in her unreturned love for Charlie Brown. She moved back to China and went back to her birth name and got a job as a translator. She met Uncle Duke, who pronounced her name as "Honey". Honey looks like an adult Marcie with dark, jaw length hair and thick glasses. She is unfailingly polite, calling Duke "sir" constantly, but having occasional outbursts when her sense of right and wrong is challenged. Unfortunately for her, her love for Uncle Duke will end as tragically as it did for Charlie Brown, if not more so.
196* I always thought that Marcie might be Chinese for some odd reason, too (but I don't read ''Doonesbury'').
197** I thought of the Marcie/Honey connection decades ago -- it doesn't hurt that both Marcie's and Honey's cohorts are {{Cloudcuckoolander}}s, and both character pairs resided in locales removed from their strips' ''main'' settings. (And of course, the "sir" bit clinches it!)
198
199[[WMG: Unless introduced later, characters aged normally before the strip started and since it ended.]]
200Self-explanatory. Charlie Brown, of course, would be the only one inconvenienced by being an 18-year-old in 2010 with a 1942 birth certificate.
201* Why 1942? It's pretty clear the kids were a bit younger in the early 50's (Charlie Brown could barely read, for one), so it's more likely they'd have been born in 1945 or 1946.
202
203[[WMG: Linus and Sally eventually got married, and [[ComicStrip/CalvinAndHobbes Calvin]] is their son.]]
204Sally dyed her hair by the time Calvin and Hobbes started, Calvin's clothing is a hand-me-down from Linus, Calvin got his blond hair from Sally, and he is extremely attached to an inanimate object like his father was.
205* And Linus was wearing glasses for a while.
206** Sally may not have dyed her hair dark; it may have just darkened naturally as she aged.
207* This may be the best WMG ever written.
208* In the same vein, Rerun's real name is [[https://www.gocomics.com/calvinandhobbes/1988/01/14 Max.]]
209
210[[WMG: The Great Pumpkin and Linus are: [[Theatre/WaitingForGodot Godot and Vladimir/Estragon]], writ small.]]
211
212[[WMG: One day Charlie Brown will [[EarnYourHappyEnding Earn His Happy Ending]].]]
213But he still won't ever kick that football.
214
215* Both parts of this Wild Mass Guess were confirmed in [[WesternAnimation The Peanuts Movie]]
216
217[[WMG: Schroeder is a high-functioning autistic.]]
218He gets along fine with some; others, not so much. Obsessed with Beethoven and his piano. Likes being around all the dancing fun, but doesn't dance, just plays DJ. Possible savant. Plus, Schulz has already recognized mental irregularity (Lucy's psychiatry stand), which was pretty advanced for its time. In Schroeder, he's shown children that differently-abled citizens can be fun, productive, highly-skilled pals.
219
220[[WMG: Charlie Brown grows up to be [[Series/MarriedWithChildren Al Bundy]].]]
221Things look up for him during his high school years. He ends up being a football star and ends up married with the Red Haired Girl of his dreams. Then things start to go downhill.
222
223[[WMG: Schroeder is a well-known child prodigy in his universe.]]
224Early strips have mentions of him playing at Carnegie Hall, appearing with the philharmonic and getting cast as "Beethoven, the boy" in a movie about Beethoven. His parents want him to have a normal childhood, so he lives in the neighborhood. Despite his celebrity status among grown-ups, most of the little kids treat him as one of them, since they hardly comprehend his fame. The exception is Lucy, who's a golddigger.
225
226[[WMG: The doghouse is a TARDIS]]
227With the amount of junk Snoopy drags out of it it has to be bigger on the inside. It can fly. I propose the doghouse is in fact a TARDIS. Woodstock makes a fine companion.
228* Considering that Snoopy is a non-human who behaves like a human, has lived in several different eras, knows a number of historically-noteworthy people, is far more intelligent than he appears, has a constant Companion, and lives in a shelter that's bigger inside than outside...Holy Rassilon, Snoopy is the [[Series/DoctorWho Fourteenth Doctor]]!
229** When bird-galars were stealing Snoopy's Van Gogh in 1966, he mentioned that they were "coming ''up'' the stairway" to exit -- indicating that the doghouse sits atop an underground complex. I imagine that at ground level inside it has "floor-doors", which, when closed, allow it to appear and function like a normal doghouse -- like, say, when Peppermint Patty went to sleep in the "guest cottage". (With all this, I suppose the underground facility could be used as a fallout shelter.)
230[[WMG: Lucy is a Time Lord and her psychiatry booth is her TARDIS]]
231* Come on! Why else would it say ''The Doctor'' is in?
232
233[[WMG: The doghouse is just a doghouse]]
234We never actually see the interior, except in animation. Only once, in a very early strip, do we see several kids going in/coming out. Later, Peppermint Patty's head sticks out the door. The exceptional size and elaborate furnishings of the doghouse's interior could easily be part of Snoopy's fantasies that somehow get the kids involved.
235
236[[WMG: Linus is an unsung hero of [[TheSixties 1960s]] Counterculture.]]
237The strip hit the peak of its popularity in the sixties. Linus was very deep, intelligent, poetic, wise beyond his years, and even a bit [[CloudCuckoolander "out there"]] at times. He was almost always relaxed and at peace with himself. He believed in an imaginary pumpkin. He even briefly wore [[RoundHippieShades John Lennon-style glasses]] as early as 1962. Not to mention that the specials produced during this period tend to feature psychedelic imagery.
238* Well, in Magazine/{{MAD}}, a horny teenage Linus tells a suggestive Violet, "Well, what do you think I kept this blanket around for?"
239* Peak of its popularity from a critical standpoint in hindsight, perhaps, but the ''actual'' peak of the series' popularity was almost certainly in the 70's or 80's when the vast majority of the films and TV specials were made.
240
241[[WMG: Linus used/uses marijuana and LSD, and the psychedelic imagery in the [[TheSixties sixties cartoon specials]] are from his imagination.]]
242See above.
243
244[[WMG: Linus is highly intelligent and was skipped up to Charlie Brown's grade.]]
245* The canon on this one is extremely muddled, a rarity for this series. It's plausible, though. Ms. Othmar could just be a different teacher in Charlie Brown's grade. This, of course, ignores the (not-canon) cartoons that put all of the gang in the same class.
246* [[AC:Fun Fact]]: As a kid, Charles Schulz was deemed 'gifted' by his school and skipped ahead two grades… without his consent. Having to constantly be around kids who were much bigger and more emotionally developed than him pretty much destroyed his psychological well-being and gave him the inferiority complex that would haunt him for the rest of his life.
247* They could also be in a split class.
248
249[[WMG: The kids (or some of them, at least) have superpowers.]]
250Lucy somehow manages to get Charlie Brown to kick the football every year, even though she's '''never''' let him actually kick it. Her power: CharmPerson.
251* I disagree. She can't charm Schroeder.
252** Schroeder counteracts her power with his power (mentioned below) to control sound. She's tried to wear him down simply because she can't stand the idea that she isn't all-powerful.
253
254Linus sometimes used his blanket as a bullwhip. His power: [[ImprobableWeaponUser Using a blanket]] as a bullwhip.
255* Alternately: His two powers are super intelligence and limited telekinesis. The construction of a frakkin' huge house of cards and other seemingly impossible structures, as well as the weaponized blanket are the result of telekinesis.
256
257Schroeder can play Beethoven on a toy piano. His power: The ability to control sound.
258
259Charlie Brown: When he kicks a stack of hats, they all land on his head. When Lucy pulls the football away, he goes flying, implying an awful lot of force. His power: Super Kick. …Alternatively, he emits a failure aura. This is why his team loses if he's there, but wins if he isn't – they're actually a good team, but they ''must'' lose because of Charlie Brown's aura. Obviously, it diminishes with distance, and affects Charlie Brown most, which is why he is the one who fails.
260* More coherent version of the second theory: His superpower is that [[BlessedWithSuck he fails at anything he tries.]] This can be canceled out by using an alias, such as "Mr. Sack" or "Cool Thumb" Brown.
261
262Pig Pen: I'd bet money that he can manipulate dust, dirt and filth just by thinking.
263* Also unconsciously. In ''You're in Love, Charlie Brown'' when he walks through a sandbox, the entire contents go with him!
264
265Sally: She's an analogue of Babydoll from ''Sucker Punch'' except she can use her powers in reality...the reason I think this is because she looks like a younger version of her.
266
267Peppermint Patty: an adolescent, female ''Spiderman'' analogue.
268* What does that mean, exactly? Here's my idea: She has the ability to make people fall asleep, and instinctively uses it on herself when she gets very bored. Like in school.
269* Actually I think super speed would fit her better.
270* I could see her with SuperStrength.
271
272Marcie: She's super intelligent.
273
274Frieda: She's got Prehensile hair.
275
276Snoopy: Some of his impressions are downright impossible. His power: Low-level VoluntaryShapeshifting. This may be related to his doghouse's impossibly large interior, but I guess that's another WMG.
277* It also could be that his doghouse is a TARDIS (he got it from his Dad.)
278
279[[WMG: Schroeder's dad is a significant stockholder for Casio.]]
280Part of his job is beta-testing, so he supplies Schroeder with prototype electronic keyboards, which Schroeder disguises as toy pianos.
281
282[[WMG: Good grief! is the English version of [[Literature/HaruhiSuzumiya Yare yare]].]]
283* Lucy is God and Charlie Brown's main job is to keep this detail from her.
284* Schroeder is an esper.
285* The mysterious red haired girl is a time traveler who disappears back to the future.
286* And Marcie is a Humanoid Interface.
287
288[[WMG: Linus has the entire Bible memorized.]]
289Knowing the stories of the birth and passion of Christ are one thing; knowing who Jezebel was at his age is quite another, and indicates he knows a lot more Scripture than that, possibly all of it.
290* This is actually implied. There's a strip in which he heads to the Christmas Pageant, not having prepared, and starts reciting the Gospel of Matthew from the beginning ("The book of the generation of Jesus Christ..."), continuing with the Nativity narrative. As they walk out, Lucy bitterly says, "Why didn't you just start with the Book of Genesis while you were at it?" and he tells her not to be so negative. Oddly enough, a few earlier strips had him angsting over having to memorize Scripture for the pageant, only to learn it at the last possible second. My guess is that, fearing he'd one day slip up and not memorize his lines until too late, he just learned the entire Bible.
291** All of this is aided by Schulz being a real-life Sunday School Teacher
292*** The Biblical imagery was strong enough that there was a 1968 book,''The Gospel According to Peanuts'', by theologian Robert Short.
293
294[[WMG: Charlie Brown is Charles Schulz.]]
295Similar first names. Also, A magazine article stated that Charlie Brown's father is a barber just like Schulz's father. [[http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-oLuuvfUos2E/Tf5lG6PhveI/AAAAAAAAC-Y/D0DhLQjauFg/s1600/peanutsviolet.jpg Also confirmed in the comic strips.]]
296* Although they may be similar in personality, Charlie Brown was actually named after one of Schulz's coworkers at the Art Instruction School (with permission). Ironically, the real Charlie Brown was, according to Schulz, the life of any party. That "Charles Brown" is about as [[TheEveryman everyman]] a name as you can get doesn't hurt either.
297
298[[WMG: Charlie Brown is an alternate version of [[Anime/NeonGenesisEvangelion Shinji Ikari]].]]
299Even when born into a better family he still can't avoid the shit end of the stick.
300* Lucy is quite clearly Asuka then.
301
302[[WMG: The strip takes place in an alternate dimension where your aging slows down the older you get.]]
303* Reading the strip from beginning to end, it's pretty clear that the characters ''do'' age, but not at the same rate, and the older they get, the less they grow.
304** Charlie Brown is the one character we can state a specific age for at different points in the strip's history. [[http://www.gocomics.com/peanuts/1950/11/03 In one of the earliest strips from 1950]] he's four years old. [[http://www.gocomics.com/peanuts/1957/11/17 Seven years later, in 1957]], he's aged to six. [[http://www.gocomics.com/peanuts/1979/07/11 Twenty-two years after that, in 1979]] he's eight-and-a-half, which seems to be his approximate age for the rest of the comic's run.
305** Shermy and Patty, the two kids who originally starred in the strip alongside Charlie Brown, are clearly older than him in the beginning (they are old enough to know how to read and he isn't), but over the strip's first few years he catches up to them in age and is shown to be at the same grade as them in school.
306** There's also the cases of Lucy and Schroeder. When they're introduced, both of them are toddlers whom the older Charlie Brown tries to take care of sometimes. They age rapidly until they are about Charlie Brown's age, and once again are in his grade at school.
307** Now, compare this to Sally, who is born in 1959 (two years after Charlie Brown's age has been stated as six). For the first three or four years of her life she ages pretty much in real time, though after that she spends a long time in kindergarten. By 1979 (when Charlie Brown is confirmed to be eight) she's in her first or second grade at school, which means she has to be five or six at the time. The age gap between the two has lessened, meaning that Sally is aging faster than Charlie Brown.
308** When we bring Linus in on the comparison, it gets even clearer. Linus is introduced in 1952 as a baby, but like Sally after him, he ages faster than the older kids like Charlie Brown. In 1959 he's about five -- which we know because [[http://www.gocomics.com/peanuts/1959/06/10 this strip from shortly after Sally's birth.]] Since Charlie Brown is about four when Linus is born and about six when Sally is born, the only way Linus can be five years older than Sally is if he's been aging faster than Charlie Brown.
309*** In conclusion: In the Peanuts universe, aging slows down the older you get, and as a result ages soon become meaningless. The only way in which age matters after a certain point is in the case of family members and especially siblings -- hence Linus is always Lucy's younger brother, and Sally is always Charlie Brown's little sister.
310
311
312[[WMG:Pig Pen is, or at least at one point was, abused]]
313Probably ChildNeglect. He says he has no name, says people call him bad things, and is notoriously dirty
314
315
316[[WMG:Woodstock was secretly the Red Baron]]
317Mostly for RuleOfDrama. Poor Snoopy never knew that his best friend was also the Flying Ace's ArchEnemy.
318* Woodstock occasionally appeared as a mechanic in the Flying Ace fantasies. Does this disprove the WMG, or ramp up the drama that the Flying Ace's archnemesis is secretly part of his own crew?
319
320
321[[WMG: Charlie Brown's father, a barber, gives him a perpetual very short buzz cut]]
322That's why he looks almost bald.
323* This is confirmed. Charlie Brown has mentioned several times that his father is a barber, and WordOfGod has stated that he's not bald, but instead has very light, very short, blonde hair.
324
325
326[[WMG: The Great Pumpkin is real, but very rarely delivers anything.]]
327Linus freaks out because he said "if" instead of "when he comes", then continues to worry that the Great Pumpkin will skip over him even after he loudly corrects himself. And this is during being so devoted that he sits in a pumpkin patch all night and misses trick or treating. Judging by this, the Great Pumpkin has ridiculously tight criteria about who he delivers to, and kids very rarely live up to it. Linus was one of the few kids that managed to fit the criteria one year, which is why he believes in him.
328
329
330[[WMG: The Peanuts universe is the future of the [[Literature/ConanTheBarbarian Hyborian Age]]]]
331The Great Pumpkin is [[JerkassGods Crom]], who will not be moved by your offer of worship or pleas for reward; in fact, he relishes in your suffering. Which is why Linus shivers in the pumpkin patch; Peppermint Patty must always fail in school; Charlie must forever miss the football, lose his baseball games, and never ''ever'' get the Joe Shlabotnik trading card; Lucy and Schroeder will never get together; and Snoopy will always be shot down by the Red Baron.
332
333
334[[WMG: Lucy has a secret crush on Charlie Brown]]
335Often, when a little girl is mean to a little boy, it means she has a crush on him. And look at the times where Lucy is actually nice to Charlie Brown, she just doesn't know her true feelings for him yet.
336* Schulz of course never confirmed this – [[ToyShip his characters are around eight years old after all]], even if they don't talk like it – but it's at least plausible. After all, whenever something truly bad (as in life-threatening) happens to Charlie Brown, Lucy becomes a nervous wreck.
337* While not canon, the reverse could be true, at least in some ads. A [=MetLife=] ad showed Charlie Brown holding hands with Lucy and Snoopy as they walked down the path of life. And [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V4QNKnUH1v4 this PSA/solicitation]] has Charlie Brown saying "I love her", looking at Lucy...at least sort of.
338
339
340[[WMG: Violet's parents fight a lot]]
341In her early appearances, one of the most common gags was for her to yell at Charlie Brown to leave and never come back, but then invite him in/to stay as if she hadn't said anything. Since she identified as Charlie Brown's girl-friend at the time, she was imitating her mother yelling at her father to leave, since she thought that's what you were supposed to say to somebody you love.
342
343
344[[WMG:Charlie Brown will kill Linus someday]]
345It will be after moving to ComicBook/SinCity, growing up, and losing his neverending optimism in the process.
346
347Sounds crazy? See [[https://latimesherocomplex.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/peanuts_by_frank_miller_4.jpg here]] and [[http://orig15.deviantart.net/dd71/f/2009/066/3/2/32f4a3507223695635a1b18c4b034dff.jpg here]]!
348
349
350[[WMG:Alternatively, Charlie Brown is Kevin]]
351See [[http://supercluster-hong.deviantart.com/art/Charlie-Brown-59907755 here]]!
352
353
354[[WMG: Yosemite Sam is the father of Linus, Lucy, and Rerun]]
355Lucy obviously takes after him. Linus and Rerun, not so much.
356
357
358[[WMG:Charlie Brown is a reformed bully]]
359Charlie Brown in the early comics is very different from the insecure and wishy-washy round-headed kid we would come to know. He teased the other characters regularly and at times could be [[http://www.gocomics.com/peanuts-begins/2017/05/02 downright arrogant]]. Is it any wonder so many of the other kids didn't like him?
360
361
362[[WMG: Sally will eventually stop trying to get Linus to be her boyfriend]]
363It's a given.
364
365
366[[WMG: Linus will turn his blanket into an article of clothing....]]
367....Like a sportcoat, so he can have all his security needs without looking infantile (since the blanket is worse than heroin in regards to addictions). He apparently washes it and cares for it regularly so it can look good for when he grows up (rather than become a filthy, kiddie slobber/booger/mud/hole-ridden mess like those things usually become).
368
369
370[[WMG: Lucy will grow up to become [[Film/OneFlewOverTheCuckoosNest Nurse Ratched]] ]]
371She has a psychiatry booth but is more interested in keeping her patients down than curing them, is very cruel to her patients while still keeping up a nice front, and thinks nothing of sabotaging others to keep them under her thumb.
372
373
374[[WMG: Charlie Brown grows up to be really, really unhinged.]]
375How unhinged? Let's just say he changed his name to ''[[VideoGame/GrandTheftAutoV Trevor Philips]]'' and leave it at that.
376
377
378[[WMG: Rerun let Charlie Brown kick the football in the last strip.]]
379He's clearly not as mean as Lucy.
380
381
382[[WMG:Snoopy secretly has really bad low self esteem]]
383He’s pretty much the ace, but in his fantasy world, he always loses.
384
385The Red Baron always shoots him down, he doesn’t catch any chicks as Joe Cool, his novels are never accepted, and never wins a case in court.
386
387He may be talented compared to his owner, but his imagination shows he may have a very bad opinion of himself.
388
389
390[[WMG: Thibault is TheBully and a HeManWomanHater due to a NapoleonComplex and shame over excessive hair growth.]]
391The boy is a tiny little shrimp and he has freakin' sideburns. Small children shouldn't have awesome KillerSideburns like that. He obviously is miserable about his looks so he bullies to compensate.
392
393
394[[WMG: Thibault is related to Moe from ''ComicStrip/CalvinAndHobbes'']]
395Thibault is a small child with KillerSideburns and Moe is "A six-year-old who shaves" and both are bullies.
396
397
398[[WMG: Snoopy's solo stories were going to be a separate strip.]]
399Given how the strips about Snoopy, his dog relatives and Woodstock differ so greatly from the general mood of the ones featuring the kids, it's possible Schultz, maybe feeling out of ideas to write about Charlie Brown and the gang, wanted to try new ideas with a new strip about funny animals doing crazy things. However, fearing it couldn't be as well received, he decided to tie it to the "Peanuts" universe, this way being able to return to it when inspiration hit him back.
400
401[[WMG: Charlie Brown and the Red-Haired Girl grow up to become supervillains]]
402Namely, [[https://static1.cbrimages.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/Kite-Man-hits-on-Ivy.jpg Kite Man and Poison Ivy]].
403
404[[WMG: ''WesternAnimation/WhyCharlieBrownWhy'' was made as a giant middle finger to those who believe Charlie Brown is a chemo patient due to his baldness.]]
405The TakeThat is that Janice was the one with leukemia and ''not'' Charlie Brown.
406
407[[WMG: Linus grows up to be a minister.]]
408It'd be the perfect career for him! He's already surprisingly knowledgeable about scripture for his age, and I could totally see him getting into high school and college and studying theology more, either for his major or out of his own interest, getting deeper into it and all its complexities. It'd also be a good fit for his thoughtfulness and compassion; tell me you couldn't see Linus Van Pelt growing up to be a GoodShepherd.
409
410As a nice bonus, his security blanket (assuming he still has it, which come on, of course he does) could be made into a stole.
411
412[[WMG: Pig-Pen's real name is Charlie.]]
413All the kids refer to Charlie Brown by his [[FullNameBasis full name]] to differentiate the two.
414
415[[WMG: Rerun's real name is Leland.]]
416Not only would it match the alliteration with Linus and Lucy, it sounds similar enough to "Rerun" that Lucy could have been subconsciously incorporating it when she created the nickname.
417
418[[WMG: Lucy grows up to become a professional and renown psychiatrist.]]
419I feel all these ideas that Lucy becomes an absolute horrid person are very unlikely, I feel the only reason she acts the way she is may be an [[InferioritySuperiorityComplex inferiority superiority complex]] that she would grow out of when she becomes older.
420
421[[WMG: The Cat Next Door is ComicStrip/{{Garfield}}.]]
422Hey, someone would've posted this theory eventually.
423
424[[WMG: Linus has undiagnosed autism.]]

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