| 1 | '''Disclaimer''': ''This page has been provided for informational purposes only. The authors of Website/TVTropes can take no responsibility for any legal issues or problems that may result from regarding or disregarding the advice on this page, nor are the author(s) lawyers, police officers, or other legal professionals. This page should not be taken as valid legal counsel - but as advice on when you should probably seek valid legal counsel or to avoid the situations that could lead to an encounter with law enforcement.'' |
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| 3 | Few if any people want to get arrested or have unpleasant encounters with police, or get sued. This page exists to provide a short primer on the things you can personally do to reduce your risk of bad encounters with the criminal or civil legal systems. It is not a "guide on how to commit crime and get away with it," or "how to be a Jerk and never get taken to court for it." Instead, it exists to enlighten you as to how law enforcement officers may interpret your innocent (or at least victimless) conduct (or how something you don't even know is illegal can hurt you legally), to enlighten you as to the scope of two of the most awful behaviors human beings engage in and do not often understand due to their culture, and how to protect yourself from situations where you will be held liable for civil lawsuits. Folders are by country, but most of the primary advice in the US section which begins the page is applicable everywhere. |
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| 5 | A good global word of advice: If you are travelling to a different jurisdiction, study up on some basic legal differences. Ignorance of the law is almost ''never'' a valid legal defense ''anywhere''. |
| 6 | |
| 7 | The super-short summary of this page: |
| 8 | * Barring the sort of egregious police corruption that is (mostly) fictional, the easiest way to avoid legal trouble is to ''not break the law''. This particularly applies to the sort of crimes that most people will at least flirt with during their life, like ignoring traffic signs; running a red light, speeding, parking illegally, or performing a U-turn where there's a sign forbidding ''just that'' are almost always really stupid ideas, but paradoxically they are also the sort of thing that most people do get away with, most of the time, which can lead to a blasé attitude that can lead to further mistakes. It's ''always'' easier to apologise for arriving late than it is to deal with the consequences of causing an accident, being in an accident, or getting arrested. |
| 9 | * Don't think yourself smarter than law. There is literally no way to commit a crime traceless; if you got away with it, it's not your credit, it's the law not having sufficient time to deal with you. There is ''ALWAYS'' a proof of your guilt, and if it wasn't found, it was only because no one really bothered to look for it. Betting your money, freedom, and, in many cases, life, on a dumb luck, is never a good idea. |
| 10 | * Don't think that crime pays. The measly benefit, if any, is not enough to justify your trouble that will inevitably come. Saving a few minutes on a road by driving recklessly is just as stupid as trying to make a buck by selling that which is not to be sold, or seeking a momentary thrill/pleasure at the risk of paying for it with your life. |
| 11 | * Don't overextend your perceived "rights", "privileges" and "entitlements". If the police or whoever else ''really'' want to bring you down, they will. Trying to escape, fight back, get rude, will only make matters ''worse'', and never works in your favor. Trying to take something by force, no matter how much you feel it's yours, is always more trouble than it's worth. |
| 12 | * Never do ANYTHING, repeat, ANYTHING that has to do with crime, the law, or big money (more than you can afford to lose) without a legal counsel. You are not a lawyer, you don't know the details, period. You are not an expert, you don't know anything, period. Consulting your lawyer is your right, period. |
| 13 | * Any and all conflicts are resolved through the legal system and legally enforced paperwork, with likely involvement of third parties like mediators and lawyers. Trying to resolve any conflict in any other way, including the non-documented promises of the other side (or even worse, [[VigilanteMan taking matters into your own hands]]), is never the correct answer. |
| 14 | * Never try to get out of trouble by committing more crime. This includes trying to bribe or threaten anyone, and even in case of honest self-defense will, more often than not, lead to problems. |
| 15 | * In any encounter with any person you know is connected to money, crime, sex, or law, always assume the worst and don't trust anyone and anything until you get solid proof of their best intentions. This includes family members, connections of your friends, your intimate partners, lending your property to anyone, services you want to pay for, and any forms of borrowing/being borrowed money. |
| 16 | * Don't agree to sign, keep, relay, make, pay for or buy ANYTHING unless you know what it is, where it came from, how legal it is and what it's really worth. |
| 17 | |
| 18 | [[foldercontrol]] |
| 19 | |
| 20 | [[folder:US and US territories - Avoiding Arrest and Criminal Charges]] |
| 21 | !The Short Version For Avoiding Arrest And Criminal Charges: |
| 22 | # The US criminal and civil systems are different. The criminal justice system involves police, prosecutors, and others - it is where you can be arrested, jailed, tried, and imprisoned. The civil justice system is where you can be sued for financial damages, but unless you are found in contempt of court, there are no arrests or jail. |
| 23 | # The majority of arrests in the criminal system are ''not'' for intentional murders, sexual assaults, dramatic robberies and frauds, and all of the other things watching most [[PoliceProcedural police shows]] or the news might make one think. [[HanlonsRazor The great majority are for]] [[IdiotBall bad decisions or momentary stupidity]] on behalf of the criminal, which the point of this article is to help you avoid making. Others actually are for definitely serious crimes (DomesticAbuse or sexual assault) in cases where people do not understand that their behavior is abusive and wrong in a culture that encourages and excuses such behavior, or don't care that their behavior is harming another person. This article will also help you understand what defines those crimes. |
| 24 | # Do not mouth off to or pick fights with police officers or other law enforcement, or get in their way or otherwise be a hassle to them while they're dealing with other people. |
| 25 | # Whatever you may think of the issue of drugs, if you use recreational substances that are defined as illegal, do not use them in public or have them in your car or outside of your home. If you use medications or recreational substances that are legal, make sure you have the proper prescriptions if prescriptions are required, and are carrying them, using them, or disposing of them in the proper manner. |
| 26 | # Do not give consent for police searches in pretty much any situation. This also means that if the police tell you to empty your pockets, you do not, and instead you say, "officer, while I will not resist, I do not consent to police searches." If a cop tells you to empty your pockets and you do, that's considered a consent to the search. Same goes if they want to "take a quick look in your trunk" - you have every right to refuse consent in that situation and indeed should do so, as letting them take "just a quick peek" is still giving consent to a search. |
| 27 | # Do not interact with police or law enforcement, if possible, when drunk, tired, otherwise compromised, and/or in most if not all situations when you have not summoned them for help for yourself. |
| 28 | # Don't treat police like idiots when you're exercising your rights even if they are blatantly in the wrong. |
| 29 | # In fact, [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d-7o9xYp7eE don't interact with police at all]], if you can avoid it. |
| 30 | # Don't drive under the influence of alcohol or other substances, or when extremely ill or tired. |
| 31 | # Don't buy or accept gifts if you even suspect that the property was stolen or acquired through illegal means, and don't fence stolen property or launder money. |
| 32 | # Choose your friends carefully - associating with known troublemakers can cause you some major legal headaches down the line. |
| 33 | # Do not do field sobriety tests - they are designed to fail even sober drivers. Ask for a breathalyzer instead. |
| 34 | # Don't get into fights or physical altercations if at all possible, and if you have to defend yourself, don't use force that is disproportionately greater than the threat at hand. |
| 35 | # If you have/use firearms, go read UsefulNotes/GunSafety and follow its advice. |
| 36 | # Do not lend a firearm or a vehicle to anyone, or let anyone operate your firearms or your vehicles unless you are with them. |
| 37 | # Do not make threats, even (or ''especially'') if you are not willing to act on them. |
| 38 | # Don't dispose of anything illegally, especially if it's something that requires very specific disposal protocols. |
| 39 | # Be very careful in high-security locations. If you can avoid them, do so; if not, don't say or do anything that could even be construed as suspicious. |
| 40 | # If you've been ejected from somewhere, don't come back until they allow you to return. |
| 41 | # Don't drive like an idiot, obey the rules of the road, and exercise basic courtesy. Make sure the car itself is in compliance with applicable laws (i.e. all lights and signals work, not having any modifications that aren't street legal, etc..) |
| 42 | And finally, and MOST importantly: |
| 43 | # '''Make sure anyone you are sexually involved with is of age[[note]]Ask for an ID (passport, driver's license, etc.) if you really need proof, although this is not infallible and should ''not'' be taken as such.[[/note]], sober, and enthusiastically consenting.''' |
| 44 | # '''Do not physically abuse intimate partners for any reason.''' |
| 45 | # '''Do not harm a child in any way.''' |
| 46 | |
| 47 | !! 1) But why? Why is all of that stuff so important? (the longer explanations of each point for the pettier issues) |
| 48 | * ''Do not mouth off to or pick fights with police officers or other law enforcement, or get in their way or otherwise be a hassle to them while they're dealing with other people.'' Police officers have a wide range of discretion in arrest powers. Whether the charges will stick are something else entirely, but even being arrested is something you don't want. Being respectful to cops (as hard as it may be if they're being suspicious or abusive or racist toward you) will generally make them go away, if you're not committing and have not committed a major crime. Being rude, abusive, or worst of all, violent toward them can make them arrest you, beat you, or even ''kill'' you. |
| 49 | ** If police officers aren't interacting with you, don't interact with them and leave them to their business, unless you are a lawyer. |
| 50 | ** If you are stopped in traffic, slow down, pull over, keep your hands in view, and, if it occurs at night, put your overhead lights on. Do not argue with the officer over the ticket - this may result in a search or other problems, notably failing to sign the ticket (which the officer will freely admit is not an admission of guilt, but rather agreeing that you'll either pay the ticket or go to court) is an automatic arrestable offense; at best, it's likely to result in them writing you a ticket for the maximum amount possible. Challenging a ticket in traffic court is one of the easiest legal cases, so if the officer is willing to just write the ticket and let you go, that is the situation you want. Don't attempt to bullshit your way out of anything, either - police can tell when you're telling the truth, when you're omitting certain portions of it, and when you're straight-up lying to them, so exercise your right to silence except to say "yes officer" and "no, officer". |
| 51 | ** If a police officer that you haven't called does approach you anywhere, you want to be as polite as possible. Say something like "How may I help you, officer?" and leave it at that. The officer's reply and body language should tell you whether you are a suspect, witness, or if he or she is simply looking for a problem. |
| 52 | ** NEVER get violent. Do not even ''appear to be'' drawing a weapon or swinging a fist. Do not shove, flail your arms, scream, or even run or walk away until you are told you may leave. Following this advice will save your life. |
| 53 | ** Try to choke back that ClusterFBomb as much as you may feel like dropping it. They've heard it all before, and the more profane you are, the more disagreeable you might seem, which is never good for staying free. |
| 54 | ** You will probably be very anxious or nervous at this point. Many people are (police officers can in and of themselves be a trigger for an anxiety attack). If you get asked "why are you so upset" or "you seem nervous," or something similar, state the truth: that you are afraid of police and would like to know what is happening. |
| 55 | ** Do not ''ever'' say anything that could be taken as an indication of sovereign citizen beliefs (i.e. "am I being detained", "free man", "traveling upon the land", etc.). First off, no, it's not "this one weird trick" to get you out of legal trouble. In fact, it's quite the opposite - at the very least, it will make a mundane police interaction into something far more heated. It also has a good chance of placing your liberty and/or life at risk with jumpy cops, as sovereign citizens are strongly associated with encounters turning violent, and it just takes saying the wrong thing to the wrong cop to get them to panic. |
| 56 | ** If the officer is looking for witnesses or just randomly questioning people, this is when you can either say what you know (if you are a witness) or, if you don't want to talk at all, politely ask to end the encounter with "May I please leave now, officer?" You may add an excuse ("I really have to go to the bathroom, I need to feed my cat,") but make sure it's truthful - cops will sometimes check out such an excuse, and if you lie, sometimes they will arrest you for obstruction or lying to officers. |
| 57 | ** If the officer says you can leave - do so. Thank the officer, wish them a good day, and then calmly (as much as you can, anyway) leave and go to where you said you'd be going. |
| 58 | ** If the officer says you cannot leave - you are either being detained, or you are under arrest. If you're unsure as of which category you currently fall into, clarify - ask the officer "Am I being detained or am I under arrest?" If you are being detained, ask what probable cause the officer has to detain you; if you are under arrest, ask which charges you are being arrested for. Regardless of whether or not you get a crystal clear answer, [[Main/MirandaRights the right to remain silent]] applies, so invoke your right to remain silent and ask for a lawyer if the police want to interview you, and ''tell them nothing more until a lawyer has spoken to you in private''. Usually if you're being detained, you'll either walk away with nothing but wasted time or a ticket at best, but don't count on this. |
| 59 | ** If you have been arrested and are in jail, say only the ''bare'' minimum over the jail phone if it is not with counsel. If you are not discussing your case with your attorney, that call is being recorded (and you will be informed of this multiple times), so if you decide to call someone and subsequently confess to everything, threaten a witness, attempt to coordinate false testimony or the destruction of evidence, or ''anything'' that will make the state salivate like a rabid dog, you are fucked and your attorney is probably going to repeatedly slam their head into their desk once they receive this latest reminder that they can't fix stupid. |
| 60 | ** if you are a parent, be aware that the police are not your accomplices in disciplining your children. In other words, do not call the cops on your kids unless you absolutely have to. It’s one thing if you have a kid who poses a threat to you, their siblings, or others. However, if your kid merely took your car or credit card without permission, and you want to teach them a lesson, do not involve the police. Once the police get involved, they stay involved, and dropping the charges is up to the prosecuting attorney, not you. Which means that your attempt to teach your kid a lesson will result in far worse consequences than you intended. |
| 61 | * ''If you use recreational substances that are defined as illegal, do not use them in public or have them in your car or outside of your home. If you use medications or recreational substances that are legal, make sure you have the proper prescriptions if prescriptions are required, and are carrying them, using them, or disposing of them in the proper manner.'' This is important because in some places, it can be argued that up to 90% of arrests on an every day basis are for drugs. As depressing as this might seem to people who don't think DrugsAreBad, it's unfortunately reality, especially in places that still have strict marijuana laws. Even legal substance use can lead to a police encounter - anything from an open bottle of alcohol in your car to having a Valium in your pocket for that speech you need to make but not having the prescription bottle on hand for it (if you are stupid enough to carry it in a zero-tolerance zone, anyway). |
| 62 | ** If you use substances that are defined as illegal where you are, make sure to keep them securely hidden in a place inside your home, only use them in a private location (such as your or someone else's home) and do not buy them on the street or especially from a "buy house" selling them like a drive through restaurant; if purchasing from someone in a vehicle, don't do it in conspicuous locations (darkened corners of large parking lots late at night in particular) or in spots that are notorious for drug deals. Additionally, if you're going to purchase from someone, ''make sure that they're trustworthy''. If you know that they can't keep their mouths shut, have a whole lot to lose if they're hit with charges (kids being the most common example of this; if drug sales are their sole source of income and they have children to feed, ''definitely'' think twice about buying from them unless you're absolutely sure that they're not a target of police scrutiny and/or won't rat you out if arrested), are scummy and looking for a way to get a leg up on the competition (which usually means becoming an informant), or have behavioral traits that scream "undercover" or "informant", avoid them like the plague. A search warrant is required for private homes unless officers are let inside, and if you are not dealing or buying from a sting operation, they likely won't know or care. Doing this reduces your risk of arrest to that of most rich people doing illegal substances, and gives you time to either get bored with it and find something else, get treatment and help for your addiction and its medical issues if that is why you use, or party without clogging up the legal system with yourself. |
| 63 | ** ''Do not make illegal drugs.'' Even if you are only making enough for personal use, with no intent to sell at all, ''manufacturing'' illegal drugs will get you in ''far'' deeper legal trouble than simple possession or even being caught buying them will, and even buying the precursor chemicals may get you investigated by law enforcement, even if you aren't buying them to make drugs. Not to mention that it creates even more of a smell than using, leaves lots of traces of the substance, and risks creating a fire or explosion hazard, even if you know exactly how to do it "right". |
| 64 | *** If you live in a place where growing/making a specific substance is legal (e.g. you have a license for a home still or are home-brewing beer, you live in a legalized marijuana state and are growing pot or making butane hash oil) it's still likely not a good idea to do so in heavily populated areas, because even if the substance is legal, creating it in your apartment, for example, can result in fire or explosion hazards (video sharing sites which won't be linked here are full of amateur chemists almost blowing themselves up with butane hash oil, specifically) - or even just noxious smells, such as the ones inherent to home brewing alcohol - and even with a legal substance and legal product, that doesn't make you ''not'' criminally responsible for damages/injuries due to things going horribly wrong. |
| 65 | *** If you are a chemist with a home lab or an film photographer with a home darkroom, it's possibly a good idea to make sure it's documented or registered in any way it is required to be. If you regularly use chemicals which could be seen as precursors for drugs, you ''must'' document your supply of said chemicals and document how you actually use them accordingly (e.g. making sure all of them are accounted for at all times, and you have proof you ''aren't'' using them to make anything illegal.) Documenting your chemical supplies is also a must when dealing with fire departments, as they are ''absolutely'' going to want to know what they're dealing with should your house catch on fire. |
| 66 | ** As another note on illegal substances, consider consumption methods that don't involve smoking or injection, ''especially'' if you're in a situation where enforcement is very strict. Eating a substance or drinking it or consuming it in another form may have different or slower effects, but smoking anything tends to create a smell that might draw unwanted attention to it, and injection is not only a huge health risk but also risks leaving needles and related paraphernalia with traces of the substance around. |
| 67 | ** If you use legal substances, follow the proper legal protocols for them. This means that you should keep copies of the prescriptions for any drugs you are prescribed, keeping the prescription bottle with you any time you have the drug on you or in your car, and in the instance of some (e.g. almost anything in Schedule II, or anything such as testosterone or insulin that is administered via injections) a 24-hour number at which your prescribing doctor or someone representing them can be reached. Needless to say, do not drive under the influence of painkillers or sleeping pills or anti-anxiety meds. |
| 68 | *** There is a ''possible'' exception for painkillers or anti-anxiety meds and driving: if your condition is so overwhelming that you can't drive safely without it, it is possible to get a medical exemption for both as long as you prove that you are not "under the influence." That said, unless you have such an exemption ''don't drive'' having taken these, and even if you do, if you feel or others tell you are acting dizzy or sleepy, ''do not'' get behind the wheel. |
| 69 | ** Also, for legal but controlled substances such as painkillers, if you don't have the prescription, make sure to leave any you are using at a safe place (or flush them down a toilet) if you are seeking medical or dental help for the pain or the condition causing it. Many people in intense pain will borrow or be offered painkillers others have, and while you usually won't be arrested if opiates show up in your blood work or you tell a doctor in strict confidence that you took someone else's vicodin or oxycontin for the condition for which you're now seeking help (especially if the need was so obvious the doctor would have prescribed it anyway, e.g. you have a broken bone or kidney stones), you ''can'' and likely will be arrested if they find the actual pills on you with no prescription no matter what your condition. |
| 70 | ** With alcohol, don't drink and drive (see later), don't have open or opened containers in your car even if you're parked and the keys aren't in the ignition, don't carry alcohol out of bars or open bottles/cans of alcohol up for consumption in places defined as "public" in areas where doing so is prohibited (New Orleans and Las Vegas are two well known "exceptions to the rule", but even they have public drinking laws/zones, so do your homework if you think about going to either city), don't buy for known underage drinkers (or, for people who are of age but have underage significant others, don't buy alcohol for them and don't buy it while they're around; store employees have seen and heard it all before, and they're going to ask for ID from both of you), and if you are going to be an obnoxious, destructive drunk, don't do so in public or around people who might call the police on you for it. |
| 71 | ** With tobacco, heed no smoking signs (in some areas, these do have the force of law) and use ashtrays if they are provided. Also, don't buy for minors (as of 2019, the federal minimum age to buy and use cigarettes, tobacco products, nicotine products, vapes, etc. is now 21, same as alcohol) and beware of anyone who looks like a minor actually asking you to buy for them or coming up to you (if you're a cashier - also, beware of ID that looks like the temporary paper [=IDs=] given out by the DMV; this is a common fake now that real state ID cards have been harder to counterfeit) in the store and asking for cigarettes - in slow times for police/state law enforcement in areas where they don't have anything better to do or in higher crime areas, this ''has'' actually been used as a sting operation. |
| 72 | ** If you are a minor, don't consume or possess any drug with an age limit (such as alcohol). Whilst most shops will refuse to serve you if you are underaged, it is still possible for a minor to get a hold of a drug with an age limit, such as using a fake ID or convincing an adult to by these drugs on your behalf. But rememebr, underaged drinking, smoking or any other drug use with an age limit is a crime itself and can get you in trouble if you are caught. |
| 73 | * ''Do not give consent for police searches in pretty much any situation.'' The reason for this is that even if you are totally innocent and clean, unless you have 100 percent control over your surroundings and belongings, someone else may not have been. Maybe your band's guitarist freaked out when he saw a cop and stuck his ready to go needle under the back seat of the van, even if all you'd think of doing is having a beer on the weekend. Maybe your roommate has a illegal gun, even if you are an ActualPacifist. These things happen, and it's why that anytime police ask to search (or "do a security check" or "may we come inside and chat for a moment") you should ask them if they have a warrant. If they do not, you should thank them for their concern, tell them politely that you won't be letting them in without a warrant, and close/lock the door. |
| 74 | ** If police officers come to your door, unless they are battering it down and coming in anyway (meaning an emergency, or they do have arrest and search warrants), lock it behind you and ask to speak with them outside - or just don't answer the door unless they insist on an answer. Educate anyone you share a space with on this: police officers are never to be invited inside unless they have been called or have a signed warrant. |
| 75 | *** If the reason police officers are at the door is noise (e.g. barking dogs, a stereo, a party, your rehearsal ran a bit late), ''quiet the noise before answering the door,'' close the door behind you, lock the door, and offer a respectful apology (e.g. "I'm sorry, my dog got upset and I was trying to calm her down before you got here," "I'm sorry, I didn't notice it had gotten so late," "I had my earplugs in and didn't realize I was so loud, I'm sorry..."). Doing so often will get you let off with a warning, or at the very most, a noise ticket. Leaving the noise going or being a smartass to the cops almost always ensures at least a ticket, and leaving your door open or allowing the cops inside is ''implied consent to a search''. |
| 76 | *** If the reason is "a security check" or "a problem in the neighborhood," or "we just want to chat," either do as above and ask if they have probable cause or a warrant, and on no, politely refuse entry. If you absolutely feel that you need to talk to the officers, follow the advice for noise visits: close your door, lock your door, and speak to them outside. |
| 77 | ** Regarding vehicles, denying a search is harder, but possible. Make sure that alcohol and drugs are not being consumed inside the vehicle by driver or passengers, and that nothing that even looks like alcohol or drugs or a gun is in view long before you are stopped. Roll up all windows but driver's side, inform all your passengers to be quiet unless the officer asks for their ID/name, DOB, and address (which you are legally - and truthfully - obligated to provide if prompted; lying about these ''will'' get you arrested), and be polite with the officer but make it clear that you just want to get the ticket and get it over with. If there is no smell of alcohol or drugs, nothing suspicious visible, and everything else but what you are getting the ticket for checks out, odds are you will leave with just the ticket. |
| 78 | ** If you are on foot it is even harder, but it is worth the effort (especially if it is obvious you are incapable of concealing a firearm) to firmly and politely say "I am not carrying any weapons, and I do not consent to a search of my body." Officers may well ignore this and search you anyway, but your having said this (especially if someone else heard or it is on a recording) may make anything found in the search that isn't a weapon capable of being thrown out in court, and you may be lucky enough that the officer knows this and doesn't search you, or at least does not search areas incapable of concealing a weapon. |
| 79 | ** Finally, if you are exercising your rights, don't be smug about it. Be firm and do not bend no matter how much they might be trying to get you to bend, but do not taunt them or treat them like they're stupid; while they might be acting unreasonable or have no legal ground to stand on at that moment, antagonizing them will ''always'' make the situation worse and could very well get you seriously hurt or killed if the officer is having a bad day and/or is an asshole, as they could easily decide to retaliate just to "put you in your place" and correct what they see as insufficient respect. Also, if you get a reputation as someone who knows the law and uses it to antagonize cops, there's a pretty good chance that you'll eventually become a target for police harassment, as they will come to see you as a punk and will go out of their way to catch you doing ''something'' that they can use to BreakTheHaughty. In short, even if you are in the right, ''don't rub it in their faces''. |
| 80 | * ''Do not interact with police or law enforcement, if possible, when drunk, tired, otherwise compromised, and/or in most if not all situations when you have not summoned them for help for yourself.'' Of course there may be situations where this is unavoidable, but in most cases it is very avoidable - and avoiding it is a very good idea. SorryOciffer is TruthInTelevision, as is AlcoholInducedIdiocy - talking to cops when drunk is probably one of the worst ideas ever (as well as when angry or tired). If you don't ''have'' to talk to them -- ''don't''. |
| 81 | ** Talking to police when one hasn't summoned them for help is generally a bad idea. If you bother them while they're working, you can be arrested for obstruction of justice or suddenly become a suspect in the crime they're investigating. Even if you're a journalist and want to know about it, you'd do better calling the department's public relations officer or listening to the scanner. If you happen upon an active arrest scene or crime scene, which does happen, you have two options: |
| 82 | *** Calmly, slowly turn around and walk/drive another way. This is best for avoiding it entirely. |
| 83 | *** If your destination would require a major detour/there's no other way there AND there's a safe path through the scene (especially if an officer waves you through it/past it) walking or driving through is sometimes okay. |
| 84 | * ''If you suspect that something was stolen or otherwise "tainted", do not purchase it or accept it as a gift.'' Stolen property statutes tend to have a very "damned if you do, damned if you don't" nature; accepting it while being fully aware or having good reason to believe that it was stolen is a federal crime (as it interferes with interstate commerce), but possessing it without being aware of its nature is ''also'' a crime in many states ("possession of stolen property"). The standard generally boils down to common sense; a midrange television being sold for fair market value out of someone's house is not really something that would trigger any alarms, whereas a late-model Macbook in near-perfect condition with no known issues being sold for $200 out of the back of a car is something that would make just about anyone suspicious. Basically, if an average person would have no reason to be skeptical, "I had no idea that it was stolen" is a far more valid defense than it would be in a situation where the sale has so many red flags that ignorance of them can be chalked up to willful obliviousness or naïveté. |
| 85 | ** The same goes for purchasing or receiving gifts of items involved in the commission of a crime, as they operate under the same "add all the details together and there's no way that a reasonable person wouldn't think this was suspicious" principle that stolen property statutes are based around. If you see someone selling a late-model luxury car with low mileage and no mechanical problems for far less than what it normally goes for and they seem overly eager to sell it right away, your first instinct should be to suspect that they're trying to get rid of it as soon as possible because the vehicle was either used in a crime and they need it gone or was acquired via bad money and they suspect that it will be used as evidence against them. This is even more important for certain types of business owners; pawnbrokers, used car lot owners, gun retailers, and other people who own businesses that are often used to get rid of "tainted" property should all be on the lookout for ''anyone'' who wants to sell perfectly good property with no visible issues for extremely low amounts of money and has a sense of urgency about them. Most of these businesses are required to record every sale anyways, and failure to refuse property that anyone with a brain could tell was unclean can and will get you arrested and your business shut down. |
| 86 | ** Do not buy a secondhand computer or other smart device. Even if it saves you money, you have no way of knowing what’s on it, and you can be held criminally liable for its contents regardless of your knowledge. Say you buy a computer at a garage sale and, wanting to make sure it’s okay to use, you take it in to a repair shop to get it looked at. Bad news: the repair people discover child porn on the device and report you to the authorities. Since it’s your device, that means, by law, the child porn is yours, and you are 100% on the hook for it. It doesn’t matter that you bought the computer at a garage sale and immediately took it to the shop without turning it on; you are still screwed. Unfortunately, this isn’t a hypothetical; there are people who’ve lived out this exact scenario and will regret it the rest of their lives. |
| 87 | * ''DO NOT DRIVE DRUNK, HIGH, OR IMPAIRED.'' Seriously, this is one of the more common reasons non-hardcore criminals are arrested aside from drugs (as well as, obviously, being a huge cause of death and injury in car and motorcycle crashes) - and it is entirely pointless, stupid, and avoidable. Just ''don't do it.'' Party at home. Call a cab/rideshare service or get someone more sober than you to do it for you if you're ''that'' impaired. Get someone else to drive your car who's sober. Park the bike/car in a safe spot before you drink and catch the bus home. Call your local tipsy tow or designated driver service. There's no reason to subject yourself to risking harming others (and being arrested at the same time). or even killing yourself in a car crash by accident. |
| 88 | ** If you are pulled over by a police officer for suspected DUI, ''refuse standard field sobriety tests''. Even if you are sober, which you should be, you may well fail these (as a test, try to stand on one leg for 30 seconds, while counting backwards in sevens or reciting the alphabet backwards) because they are designed to be failed. If you are pulled over, you should opt for the breathalyzer test instead as it is far more objective and you are likely to pass it unless you use an alcohol-containing mouthwash or breath spray or recently drank alcohol. ''Refusing to do'' '''''ANY''''' ''sobriety tests at all'' will get you automatically arrested for DUI. |
| 89 | ** If you have done any of the above, you may ask for a fifteen-minute postponement of the test, and most police officers will give you that if you are not obviously drunk. |
| 90 | ** Another "trick" in DUI stops that often gets drivers who ''aren't'' drunk is the infamous question, "have you been drinking tonight" or similar. The reason this is a "trick" is because even if you are absolutely sober and will register as such on the breathalyzer or blood test (e.g. you had one beer or one glass of wine four or five hours ago), if you say "yes," you have admitted to and will be arrested for DUI. The correct, truthful answer to the question, if you are currently sober, is "no." Of course, if you ''are'' drunk, don't lie and say no (that will only lead to worse charges) but if over four hours have passed for under two drinks, do ''not'' say "yes." If you're absolutely uncomfortable with "no" or not sure, the best legal answer to protect your rights later is "I respectfully refuse to answer that question under my Fifth Amendment rights." |
| 91 | * ''Avoid fights and physical altercations whenever possible.'' The first rule of winning any fight (and especially a gunfight) is NOT TO GET INTO ONE. If what the person did was illegal, you can call the police ''on them'' (or file a lawsuit) later on. If what they did was just stupid and enraging, you can choose to never interact with them again or let it go. Getting into a fight means that you will commit a crime (anything from the misdemeanors of simple assault and disturbing the peace to the felonies of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, attempted murder, or worse) And there have been some tragic situations where even simple fights have led to chains of events that have killed the people caught up in them. So learn to control that UnstoppableRage and chill out that [[HotBlooded hot blood]], for your own sake if not for others. Angry, violent, aggressive people seldom see happy endings, be it through the courts or at the hands of the wrong person, and it just takes one look at the court logs to see how many repeat offenders there are for the same assault and battery charges. |
| 92 | ** If a fight ''is'' unavoidable due to having to defend yourself, you can only exercise reasonable force, which is usually defined as force proportionate to the threat at hand. While the definition of "reasonable force" can be nebulous and is often heavily dependent on statutory and case law in the jurisdiction in question (disregarding stand-your-ground laws, which are an entirely different ballgame), the most reliable standard is generally that lethal force is only acceptable if you have a credible immediate threat to life and limb and/or have little or no time or room to escape from the threat; self-defense is ''not'' a defense to NoKillLikeOverkill[=/=]DisproportionateRetribution[=/=]CoupDeGrace. If you shoot someone who is charging at you with a knife and clearly intends to seriously fuck you up, you have a far better claim to justified use of lethal force than shooting someone who made threatening motions, and depending on the circumstances (e.g., it was clear that you were looking for an excuse to seriously harm and/or kill someone and used a physical provocation as that excuse, or you had someone down for the count and decided to beat the living shit out of them), attempted murder and/or murder is a completely possible and quite likely legitimate charge. |
| 93 | ** Do not keep anything that is commonly used as a weapon in your vehicle if you have no intention of using it for its main intended purpose. You're not the only one who ever thought to keep a baseball bat, golf club, hockey stick, machete, crowbar, or metal pipe in your trunk or back hatch, and unless you can conclusively prove that its presence was innocent (i.e., you play sports, you were on your way to clear some brush, you regularly do DIY projects where you have to pry things apart, or you found some nasty old pipes that you're hauling away to a waste disposal facility), police are going to assume that you were keeping them there to use as weapons, especially if you already have a history of altercations with others or they just got a call about a road rage incident with a vehicle matching your car's description. |
| 94 | ** Similarly, you should know that this also applies to preventing thefts or robberies. If you have good reason to believe that you or someone else is at risk of facing imminent physical harm, proportionate force is allowed. Stabbing, shooting, or beating someone who stole something or tried to steal something, shooting at someone prowling on your land in a locale that does not offer special protections to homeowners, or mugging or robbing back your property from someone who took it while it was away from you - that's no bueno. |
| 95 | ** Lastly, know that even the act of inviting people to fight can get you in legal trouble. If you go up to someone at a bar and challenge them to one, you'll probably just get ejected by the staff. If you're in a parking lot or other open public area, loudly challenging someone is absolutely grounds for a disturbing the peace arrest and can quite possibly lead to worse charges depending on the circumstances. |
| 96 | * ''If you use firearms, know how to do it safely.'' You do not want to seriously injure or kill someone by accident or lack of knowledge. For example, while you may think FiringInTheAirALot to celebrate something won't hurt anyone, remember - what goes up ''must come down'' - and doing so can get you arrested even if the bullets land safely - and if one does hurt or kill someone, don't think the judge won't throw the book at you for that one. |
| 97 | * ''Do not threaten people with firearms.'' Unless you have a good reason to shoot someone, that gun stays in its holster, inside the safe, in the rack in your truck bed, or (if you ''must'') in a non-secure hiding spot. Using a WeaponForIntimidation is ''extremely'' illegal and usually has penalties that are almost as bad as actually shooting at someone, and if it is a weapon that requires a permit, you can and will get that permit yanked. Don't think that threatening strangers won't come back to bite you in the ass - someone, somewhere is going to report that you flashed a gun after they accidentally cut you off and will get your plate down, and the issuing authorities will come for you very swiftly. ''Keep in mind that you never know who's armed and who isn't, and your stupidity could end up putting you in the hospital - or worse, the morgue.'' |
| 98 | * ''Do not make straw purchases or have others make them.'' If you specifically cannot legally purchase firearms, ''there is a good reason for this''. Gun store employees are specifically trained to spot straw purchases, and at the very least, they can refuse the same, and if they have a particularly bad feeling about it, they may alert law enforcement. |
| 99 | * ''Do not lend a vehicle or especially a firearm to anyone.'' YOU are responsible for what happens with that vehicle or that gun. If someone drives drunk in your car or stores a kilo of cocaine in it, you are the one who will go to jail. If someone uses your firearm not to go hunting but instead to commit one of the more rare and awful crimes that does make the news - you are the one who will go to jail. In short, don't lend cars or guns to people unless you are observing their behavior with either directly. |
| 100 | * ''Do not buy firearm attachments or parts that are illegal where you live online.'' If suppressors, full-auto converters, or other inconsistently-legal parts are against the law where you live, ordering them off Amazon, Wish, or some sketchy foreign online retailer is a really good way to get absolutely ''fucked'' by the relevant regulatory body. Given that many of these retailers (particularly Wish) have consistently complied with subpoenas to release the names of people who have purchased these items from foreign retailers to circumvent the law, it is not really a question of if you get caught, but when, as well as how badly you've ruined your own life. |
| 101 | * ''Do not hang out with shitty people.'' This is good life advice in general, but hanging out with scummy people who are perpetually attracting the attention of law enforcement can and often does lead to serious consequences. For one thing, while ''you'' may never engage in serious criminal acts on your own, the likelihood that you will be in the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong people is extremely high; ask anyone who has ever worked in the criminal justice field, and they will be happy to tell you about all the times where someone who really wasn't that bad a person but chose their friends poorly wound up getting involved in something with life-ruining consequences because they chose the wrong night to do something with their friends. Furthermore, there is a similarly high chance that you will be a person of interest whenever one of them winds up being the target of a criminal investigation, and people like this tend to be more than willing to throw convenient targets under the bus to save their own hides. Lastly, there is also a very good chance that even if none of the above come to pass, you will be a target of increased law enforcement scrutiny; where there is smoke, there is fire, and when someone is well-known to the police, they ''will'' turn an eye to their known close associates with the assumption that they are no better. You, again, may never dream of engaging in criminal acts, but that won't keep the police from regularly harassing you because they have no reason to not assume that they just have yet to catch you in the act. In short, if your friends are always getting into trouble with the law for stupid, childish reasons and doing things that cement them as a menace in the eyes of the police, get new friends and sever all ties with them. |
| 102 | * ''Do not make threats.'' Yes, sometimes a situation can make you so angry or scared that you believe a threat (even one you know you won't follow up on) is a good idea, or you might make an entirely absurd IneffectualDeathThreat as a joke. It never is funny or a good idea to make a threat. [[note]](unless you can prove self-defense and that making the threat was done to protect your life or property from imminent danger, for example, someone told you they were going to rape you and you documented that then told them if they tried you would shoot them)[[/note]] In many cases, a threat ''itself'' can at least be the crimes of assault or harassment, and certain threats aimed at certain people, places, or things can qualify as terrorist threats, stalking-related offenses, or hate crimes. Even ''if'' the threat itself is ignored at the time, if anything ever happens to the person you threatened, you go to the top of the suspect list. Furthermore, if you are ever involved in a shooting, stabbing, or beating, or brandish a weapon and cite self-defense, those social media posts, text messages and messaging app records, and witness testimonies ''will'' be subpoenaed if the prosecution wants to make a case for you being a violent person who wanted to hurt or kill someone or start or escalate a fight, and if you have ''ever'' threatened someone or had a violent incident that you didn't have a good reason for, it will be a much better day for the prosecution than it will be for you. |
| 103 | ** Plus the threat could come back to haunt you. A humorous example occurred in the movie ''Starting Over'' where Jill Clayburgh is visiting her parents and is unaware that Burt Reynolds has been invited as a blind date. So, she's walking at night, and some guy she doesn't know is following her, even tailing her in the direction of her parents home. She's frightened, walks up to the guy she thinks is stalking her, tells him off in no uncertain terms, and runs off to her parents. Later, he gets to the door and is introduced, and he tells them that he knows her. Her mother asks where they met, and he tells them exactly what she said: "Outside, as I was walking up here, she said 'Get the fuck away from me, I've got a knife in my purse and I'll cut your fucking balls off.'" |
| 104 | ** On a related note, don't make threats [[InternetJerk online]], either. No matter what. Remember, the Internet is not as anonymous as you think it is, and making threats against a person/their family/their property/all of the above can get you in trouble, just like in meatspace. Similarly, don't [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doxing "doxx"]] other people; even if ''you'' wouldn't threaten or harm them, even if the worst thing ''you'' would do is set them up with a few unsolicited pizzas or make a few prank calls, you can't be certain that someone else won't stalk, harass, threaten, or harm this person...and if someone does, ''you'' could be held responsible. (Whether you think they deserve it or not, whether you think it's a good way to "teach them a lesson" or not, is irrelevant. Remember, the law does not look kindly on any form of [[VigilanteMan vigilante "justice."]]) The law also does not care whether you're copy-pasting information that they had posted previously, or whether it's something you dug up from the Deep Web; the end result is the same. Also, there is no guarantee that the information you're putting out there is accurate, complete, or up-to-date. (For example, what if the address or phone number you listed no longer belongs to the person you're targeting, but to someone else?) Another good reason not to doxx: it puts other people in the crossfire. Namely, anyone the doxxee lives with, or anyone on their contact lists. People who might not be involved in your drama, or might not even be aware of it. |
| 105 | ** If the person in question has actually done something ''illegal'', report them to the appropriate law enforcement official, as well as to site admins. That's way more effective than "signal boosting" on the Internet. If the person hasn't done anything ''illegal'' (just upsetting), then simply unfollow or unfriend them, and if necessary, report the offending post to the site's administrative team. If they harass you, report that to site admins as well. |
| 106 | ** Also, don't give anyone a SuicideDare or encourage someone to kill themselves or consider doing so, even as a [[BlackComedy "joke."]] If they decide to do it, ''you'' could face murder or manslaughter charges. Just don't do it, OK? |
| 107 | * ''Do not intimidate or threaten victims of or witnesses to a crime.'' Even if you are ''absolutely'' sure that the alleged victim is lying, that it's a conspiracy against someone, or that at least one of the witnesses or informants is an opportunist with a vendetta who is providing false information to carry out a grudge, ''stay away from them''. Witness tampering is a serious crime, and not only will it get you in deep shit with the law, but it very well may come down on the accused as well if the prosecution can make a good case for you doing it on their behalf. If you know for a fact or have clear evidence that someone is making false accusations or providing false information, notify the relevant authorities. |
| 108 | * ''Do not blackmail or extort people.'' The line between legally allowed behavior and blackmail can sometimes seem hazy, but generally, if you are attempting to get someone to make something right or stop doing something on their own, making your demand ''without'' a threat of further action ("give me my last paycheck", "return the Switch that your child stole"), then taking legally allowable further action if they fail to comply is perfectly legal, and if someone really crossed a line and won't make it right, there are quite a few totally legal ways to utterly fuck them over. What isn't legal is attaching a threat of further action to coerce them into the desired outcome. This is extortion, and even if you are otherwise in the right, blackmailing or extorting them is still a crime and you can and likely will get into trouble for it. If you are going to take further action, don't threaten it, just do it without providing prior warning. |
| 109 | * ''Do not tamper with food as a trap or prank.'' No matter how angry you are at your coworker or roommate for stealing your food or how pissed off you are at the seemingly unpleasable customer who sent back their order for the third time, pulling a LaxativePrank or something similar is not the way to handle it. First off, it is ''not'' funny - having a PottyEmergency or PottyFailure is the best possible outcome, as [[PrankGoneTooFar stimulant laxatives cause ''violent'' purges that can cause everything from extreme dehydration to an outright ruptured bowel or GI bleed, which can be life-threatening]]. Furthermore, it is highly illegal - not only can they sue you in civil court for their medical bills and the cost to clean or replace the clothes, but it also counts as either criminal poisoning or battery in most jurisdictions (if not one, it's the other). Premeditation will also be easy to prove; if you have repeatedly left notes about people stealing food in the breakroom that have graduated to notes on your food itself, and your coworker suddenly has ceaseless explosive diarrhea that gets them sent to the hospital, the court will have an easy case for you deliberately poisoning someone. |
| 110 | * ''If you are in a bar or club, don't be an idiot.'' This ties into a lot of alcohol-related issues, but some of it is largely independent of alcohol and boils down to "don't be a fucking dumbass". First off, know your limits and what you're like when you're drunk. Being a happy drunk is fine, though it will eventually become annoying. If you're a mean or violent drunk, you '''need''' to keep the drinking to a minimum or abstain altogether. If you do get drunk and act like a total asshole, you ''will'' get ejected, and if your behavior is particularly bad, the police will get called and you will be facing disorderly conduct charges at the very least. More egregious offenses, like attempting to start fights or sexually harassing patrons or staff, can and will result in arrests and lifetime bans, and if you decide to be a badass and lay a hand on one of the bouncers, you will get slammed to the ground and quite possibly placed under citizen's arrest until the cops come to cart your ass off for assault. Also, if you're going to attempt to take someone home, do ''not'' try and take home someone who is so drunk that they barely know which way is up; most states have laws governing how drunk someone can be before they cannot give consent, and if you attempt to engage in sexual activity with someone who is over that limit, it counts as rape and carries all the repercussions that one would expect. Also, '''DO NOT''' drug or otherwise adulterate anyone else's drink. And if you do buy a drink for someone, remember that that's not the same as buying ''them''; they don't owe you sex or anything else for it. Finally, if you get banned, ''do not come back until they say you can''. If they told you to not come back for the rest of the night, don't come back for the rest of the night; if they told you that you were never going to be allowed back, then you will not ever be allowed back. Simple as that. If you do attempt to come back before you're allowed to (assuming you are) or even just hang around in the parking lot or on the sidewalk just to see what you can get away with, the cops will be called to haul you away on trespassing charges. |
| 111 | ** Strip clubs have extra rules. First off, [[https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/0e/dc/8e/0edc8e9f31c6ee064465bbb61ef000a4.jpg strippers are not prostitutes, nor are they obligated to "entertain" you or anyone else "off the clock"]], and if you attempt to proposition one, they will have the bouncers throw your ass out in the blink of an eye. Secondly, you need to keep your hands to yourself unless the dancer places them on her body herself '''''and''''' there's signs prominently displayed saying this is acceptable. It varies from state to city to different nightclubs in the same city, so do your homework. If you so much as attempt to get grabby when this is discouraged or flat-out not allowed, you will get one very stern warning at best before you get ejected, and if you do something extreme that isn't tolerated ''anywhere'' like forcing your hand in their underwear, you will be ejected in nanoseconds and receive a lifetime ban, and the dancer is also free to press charges or sue if he or she so desires. Finally, '''don't be a creep'''. If you have a weird fetish, don't bring it into the picture. If you've got a crush on one of the dancers, get over yourself or force yourself to go when they're not around. Above all else, however, ''don't fucking stalk them''. Exotic dancers, by their very nature, will sometimes be targets for people with bad intentions, and as a result will always have bouncers escort them out to their vehicles while making sure that no patrons exit at the same time and that no one is prowling the parking lot or waiting in their car to see if they can spot their favorite dancer. They also keep very close tabs on the fans of specific dancers, and if a dancer gets followed home or has someone find them at their other job, chances are good that they'll know who did it. |
| 112 | ** With regards to prostitution or escort services, please note that sexual services of that nature are illegal almost ''everywhere'' in the United States, with only a few exceptions in the state of Nevada (ironically, despite its reputation for vice, prostitution is illegal in Las Vegas and all of Clark County). The safest way to stay out of trouble with prostitutes is to just not hire them. If you do plan on hiring them, remember that ''everyone'' who knows that you've hired prostitutes is breaking the law, so if you're calling some in for your friend's stag party, everyone at that party is considered to be soliciting prostitutes and can be charged. Now, nine times out of ten, the police won't arrest you and will let you off with a warning--however, it does give them a good reason to search your premises and check your credit history. See above about why that's a terrible idea: namely, you can't be 100% certain about what they'll find. Generally speaking with prostitutes the less you know about each other, the better. Don't give your name to a prostitute, or use a fake name. Pay by cash, not by credit card or personal check. Don't ask for their number or anything stupid like that (it's unlikely they'll give it to you anyway). Remember that most prostitutes are well aware of the risks of their jobs, and a lot of them carry hidden weapons on their persons, so as with strip clubs, don't be an idiot. If a prostitute refuses to have sex with you, ''do not force him or her under any circumstances,'' even if you've already paid. It's still rape, just like hitting them or otherwise hurting them without their consent is still assault. Always use protection--that's just basic common sense. (It's also usually cheaper.) |
| 113 | * ''Obey the rules of the road, be considerate, and don't drive like an asshole.'' We all forget certain rules from time to time and occasionally have to deal with inconsiderate, incompetent, or just plain rude fellow motorists. That being said, doing things like habitually failing to signal turns or lane changes, driving well above or below the speed limit (in most states, 25mph over the limit is the general point where speeding becomes a serious criminal offense and can result in huge fines, criminal charges, and long-term license revocation; going too far below, meanwhile, is less likely to result in a ticket but can cause people to do risky or dangerous things to get around you, in addition to being extremely likely to attract police attention late at night due to the common association between extremely low speeds and intoxicated motorists attempting to not get caught), tailgating, passing on shoulders or in no-passing zones, failing to obey right-of-way, and blowing lights or ignoring signs is a). dangerous, selfish, and highly inconsiderate and b). illegal and absolutely fair game for police to pull you over and/or ticket you (or even arrest you if it's particularly egregious). Also, while [=DUIs=] are obviously a huge no-no, things like using your phone (searching for music, texting, using social media, accepting calls...), applying makeup, or performing or receiving sexual favors are every bit as impairing and (in the case of cell phone usage) illegal, and the things that aren't explicitly illegal can still significantly affect how much at fault you are if you wind up getting into an accident. Reckless conduct is highly illegal in general, though; if you're an aggressive, ill-tempered jackass behind the wheel, you can pretty much expect to regularly get tickets and/or to get your license revoked at some point. Two wrongs don't make a right, however; even if someone else is being a dick, resist the temptation to punish them for it. This is a particularly big thing when dealing with tailgaters; while tailgating is explicitly illegal, brake-checking is just as verboten. Not only does it count as vehicular assault in most states, but it also opens you up to lawsuits from the other party and can shift some or possibly even all of the fault over to you. Even if someone's glued to your ass, ''just don't do it''. |
| 114 | * ''Some places require extra care.'' |
| 115 | ** You want to ''stay away'' from anything called a "frozen zone" (basically areas where cops have staged a paramilitary crackdown) or a high-security event (e.g. the Super Bowl, the Oscars). Avoid "frozen zones" entirely (and if you must go around/into them, always have up to date identification/credentials/papers, have absolutely ''nothing'' in your possession except for identification/credentials/papers, a small amount of cash/your debit or credit card, residence keys, and your transport card/car keys). High-security events are somewhat less risky than frozen zones, but don't risk carrying anything that could even be mistaken for a weapon or drugs, be aware that you may be searched as a condition of entry, and make sure to have any needed credentials (e.g. your tickets, press pass, event guest pass) available to be shown at once ''and'' that those are valid - being stared down by cops with machine guns is not when you want to find out those tickets were fake. |
| 116 | ** Aircraft are also areas requiring ''extreme'' care: Be prepared for extensive searches (including strip searches and cavity searches just to board aircraft/leave the airport if you're selected for "special screening" at your departure airport or your destination airport), and do not do ''anything'' that could even be perceived as "crazy" or "terroristic" - this includes filming/photography, speech above normal tone or pitch, anything that even approaches the level of "argument" or "disagreement" much less "fight," trying to light a cigarette or joint in a commercial aircraft bathroom or join the MileHighClub in one, getting too drunk, or insisting on keeping a device on when you're told to turn it off. Whenever you're in an airport or on a plane, leave the comedy at home; even just saying "Well, thank God they didn't find the drugs" in the most sarcastic tone imaginable is still enough to have you detained by custom officials, who will not give a good goddamn if you miss your flight and won't refund you either. |
| 117 | |
| 118 | |
| 119 | !! 2) "I'm not a woman beater/rapist/pedo!" (A short briefing on domestic violence and sexual assault) |
| 120 | * Rape has a broad definition in America. Virtually any sexual contact with another person can amount to a rape charge. So be VERY careful who do you flirt with and in what conditions. Especially when there's alcohol or other conscience-altering substances involved. |
| 121 | ** Also remember that consent is not contingent upon where this takes place, anyone's state of dress or conduct, whether you and the other party are an OfficialCouple or not, whether the other party is a virgin or has had numerous partners, whether they already did [x] with you, the company they keep, their actual character or their reputation, who paid for dinner/drinks/etc. or anything else. No one is "asking for it" with their clothing, makeup, lifestyle, or presence at a party. |
| 122 | ** Consent must be given freely, not under pressure or duress, and not under the influence of drugs or alcohol. "No" does '''NOT''' mean "Convince me," or "Pester me until I give in," and "Yes" does not necessarily mean "I want to do BDSM/anal/a threesome/etc." Furthermore, consent can be revoked at any time, for any reason, or for no reason at all. ''No one owes you sex, nor do you owe anyone sex.'' The ''only'' time where "no" does not necessarily mean "stop" is with certain types of kink relationships or roleplay, and even then, you and your partner should discuss it thoroughly to make sure that both of you are completely okay with it, as well as having an easy-to-recognize safe word that both of you can remember. |
| 123 | ** If consent is withdrawn, it's withdrawn, and that's that. It does not mean "talk them back into it", it does not mean "try something different", and it definitely does not mean "just keep going". If a partner withdraws consent and you try to bully them back into it or, worse, ignore it entirely, ''it is rape and they have every right to report it as such''. |
| 124 | ** Make sure any sex partner is of legal age to be in a sexual relationship with you. Having sex with minors is generally a crime (some states have a close-in-age exemption where both partners have to be within 3 years of each other and within a certain age), and there is generally no defense to the charges aside from "I did not have sex with that person."[[note]]''Some'' U.S. states offer a defense, but you have to have solid proof that the person lied that they were over 18 (as in, ID card, driver's license, passport, or "forged document" proof).[[/note]] So unless you are willing to go to jail for a long time and be put on a sex offender registry/be seen as a pedophile (whether you actually view yourself as one or not is irrelevant) check that ID twice before you do ANYTHING in bed. If you have ''any'' doubt about the age of your prospective partner, then decline to engage in sex. |
| 125 | *** It is not a good idea to date someone who is underage, even if you intend to wait until they are of age to have sex. A major factor is that teens lie, especially about sex, and they may do so without fully understanding the magnitude or consequences of their lies. For instance, locker room talk is a thing, except girls do it too, and it's not confined to the locker room. All it takes is for your underage partner to boast about his or her imaginary sex life involving you where the wrong person is listening, and before you know it, you're on the registry. Additionally, teens get into arguments with their parents, in the course of which they may brag about imaginary misdeeds (particularly involving sex). To them, this has the advantage of upsetting their parents without exposing themselves to the real life consequences of actually doing the things they are claiming. Unfortunately, simply claiming to have had sex with you may lead to the real life consequence of you being arrested and put on the registry. |
| 126 | ** '''DO NOT''' [[TheBabyTrap lie about using birth control, sabotage your or your partner's birth control, or lie about being sterile]]. Yes, this ''can'' get you in legal trouble, and it is abusive and wrong besides. If you want to have a baby with your partner, talk to them about it beforehand, and make sure they're OK with it. If they're not, then use condoms and/or other forms of reliable birth control, or don't have a sexual relationship at all. And don't use pregnancy (or the threat of it) to control your partner; this is every bit as much DomesticAbuse as hitting them. |
| 127 | ** Any form of sexual contact with minors is a crime - even if you do not know the person is a minor. This is fairly easy to tell offline, but harder online unless the person honestly discloses their age - as there are 15 and 16 year olds who write like adults, and adults who write like 12 year olds. This can be very problematic for roleplayers and fanfic writers - it is strongly advised that if you roleplay online or share explicit fanfic directly (as with a beta) you only do so with trusted friends with whom you've met offline and know are over 18 or you do so with people from a site or group or community with a strict adults-only policy (where you generally aren't culpable ''unless'' the person tells you they are a minor and you proceed anyway). If you choose to roleplay or pick a fanfiction or original fiction beta from a location where you cannot age-verify, you are taking a huge risk. |
| 128 | *** The same goes for sharing ExplicitContent with minors. Doing so can lead to charges of "contributing to the delinquency of a minor" or be seen as a conspiracy to "groom" said minor. Even if you're 18 and think your 15 year old YaoiFangirl friend should read that awesome fic you found, ''don't share it with her.'' |
| 129 | ** Also, if you are a minor, it's probably best if you don't share ExplicitContent of yourself, even with your crush or your high school boyfriend/girlfriend. The law hasn't caught up with technology in every place yet, and even though they're pictures of you (presumably taken by you), and even though you're sharing them with a member of your peer group (as opposed to some 45-year-old creep), you could be facing child pornography charges, as could anyone who happens to see those photos. Granted, if you were only sexting selfies to a consenting peer, you almost certainly ''will not'' go to prison for it, but that's not the point. (Not to mention the fact that if they fall into the wrong hands, they can get you expelled from school, rejected from jobs and colleges, and/or grounded. Whether they should or not.) |
| 130 | ** If someone you are involved with shares nude photos or explicit texts or emails, or makes a HomePornMovie with you, you ''do not'' have the right to share it with your friends, or post it on the Internet. Even if you are no longer involved in that relationship. Even if the relationship ended on not-so-good terms, or you found out they cheated. Even if they do "premium Snap" or something similar and they decided to rip you off. Even if it's the result of a celebrity or other public figure's photos being "hacked". Privacy, and the right to have such materials disseminated ''only'' with the consent of the subject(s) involved, are basic human rights, even in the Internet age! Sharing those photos ''can'' get you in trouble, not to mention put the subject at risk of stalking, harassment, or worse (which ''you'' could be held responsible for, just as with the point about "doxxing" further above). Those photos are not, and never were, public property, no matter whether the subject is a private citizen or a public figure, or what their sexual history or reputation may or may not be. Or, to put it another way, it's no less a violation of trust, boundaries, and privacy than receiving a friend's house key while they go on vacation, and then making copies of the key and distributing it to everyone in town. (Or distributing it to a few friends, who then make copies of the copy and distribute those keys all over town.) |
| 131 | * Within the US, LoliconAndShotacon type material exists in a legal gray area. There are arguable defenses under the First Amendment (the right to free speech) as long as ''no actual child or anything looking like an actual child'' is depicted in any way, ''and'' most of the (rare) prosecutions for it have been leveled at creators or people bringing the material across borders/importing it/maintaining massive collections of it, as opposed to occasional readers/viewers/players - but people ''have'' been prosecuted for it, and even if you successfully fight the charges with a First Amendment defense, you will ''still'' be [[ConvictedByPublicOpinion vilified as a]] [[PaedoHunt pedophile]] no matter what your actual reasons may be for your interest. If you have an interest in this sort of fiction, it's best to be very discreet about said interest, to not maintain large collections or create/import it, and to possibly retain a First Amendment attorney if you have a legitimate reason to work with/collect a lot of it (e.g. you're teaching a college course on human sexuality in Japan, you're critically analyzing it for a publication or dissertation as opposed to using it as personal porn, you're a manga importer or comic book shop owner that chooses to sell questionable titles). Obviously, while this isn't legal trouble, don't post it on this site unless you want to be banned. |
| 132 | ** As an additional note, anyone who is in the US should beware of other countries' laws. People should ''never under any circumstances'' bring loli/shota into certain countries[[note]]As per The Other Wiki, the full list is: Australia, Canada, Ecuador, Estonia, France, Ireland, Mexico, New Zealand, Norway, Poland, Russia, South Africa, Switzerland and the United Kingdom.[[/note]] (most notably Canada, but also New Zealand, Australia, South Africa, and the United Kingdom) under any circumstances, even if they're not actually viewing it (e.g. artists delivering commissions or selling pieces at conventions, erotica collectors, academics, etc). Canada and the aforementioned places, in particular, notably do ''not'' accept Really700YearsOld as a defense for loli/shota (which is treated as child pornography up there); in Canada and the other aforementioned places, the rule goes that it doesn't matter if the character actually is a millennia-old demon princess who just happens to look like a prepubescent child, and if a person unfamiliar with the source material would have no reason to not assume that the character was a small child, it is legally considered child pornography. This, by the way, is what happened to Ryan Matheson, a.k.a. "Brandon X", who was hit with child porn charges in 2011 after attempting to bring ''Nanoha''-inspired comics into the country. Though he did manage to get the charges dropped the following year, his legal defense [[https://cbldf.org/about-us/case-files/cbldf-case-files/cbldf-case-files-canada-customs-case/ ran into the thousands of dollars]]. You're better off not chancing it at all. |
| 133 | * '''DO NOT POSSESS OR ACCESS CHILD PORN IN ANY WAY.''' '''''EVER.''''' Even ignoring the [[MoralEventHorizon moral ramifications of possessing child porn]], if you own it, someone is going to find out eventually, and you are '''fucked''' when they do. Ask the police about all the times where someone got busted for child porn because an ex, their child, a computer or phone repair technician, [[EvenEvilHasStandards or possibly even]] [[TakingYouWithMe a burglar]] ratted them out for downloading or hoarding it. For that matter, ask a sex crimes investigator or a prosecutor how well the usual defenses work. "It was a bait-and-switch on a download" - you were probably looking for sketchy shit to begin with, and in case it wasn't already clear, ''don't open strange downloads'' if you ever have even the slightest modicum of doubt as to whether your download is legit. "I was curious" - bullshit, you knew exactly what you were getting into. "Someone uploaded it onto a message board/messaging service" - yeah, and ''you'' chose to download it to your computer or phone. "A hacker did it" - ''sometimes'' a defense, if you really pissed someone off who wants to ruin your life, or your computer was compromised and used as a drop zone for CP (though the latter usually doesn't happen unless you had some really sketchy or foolhardy browsing habits to begin with), but for every one or two times where someone successfully used that as a defense, there are ''at least'' forty or fifty times where they were clearly full of shit and got shot right down. "I didn't know they were underage" - don't have sexual chats or accept explicit photos from people whose ages you are not sure of, and if a minor ever ''does'' send you nudes for whatever reason, delete them (do ''not'' save them), block them immediately, and seriously consider consult with an attorney.[[note]]If you are also a minor, have a serious talk about them with this - you do not want them to be the reason that the both of you go to jail.[[/note]] The only successful way to avoid getting into trouble for this is to ''not have it'', and if you somehow ever do stumble across any by accident and want to alert the authorities, consult with a criminal defense attorney first. If you yourself ever feel tempted to seek it out (even if you don't intend to download it), get professional help ''immediately'' before you jump into that black hole - accessing or even attempting to access CP is a criminal offense in many countries as well. |
| 134 | ** On a related note to this and the previous two paragraphs, '''DO NOT use AI software to make "deepfake" porn based on images of real people''', especially anyone you know personally, and ''especially'' any minors. The law hasn't quite caught up to technology on this but it will sooner than later and may have already depending on when you read this. This includes celebrities, even if the internet is already flooded with that crap and one or two more photos won't make a difference it's still gross and wrong. Don't do it. |
| 135 | * '''DO NOT ENGAGE IN CHILD SEX TOURISM IN ANY WAY.''' '''''EVER.''''' Even ''providing'' the suspicion that you are heading to another country to engage in it or are heading back to your home country after engaging in it abroad will get you detained. If you are a male (especially a single male) from a developed or developing country traveling to or returning from a country known for sex tourism in general and particularly child sex tourism (namely Thailand, the Philippines, Brazil, Mexico, Cambodia, or Indonesia), who does not have family or close friends in the country, has no legitimate business or career-related reason for going there, and was not on a verifiably ''legitimate'' vacation there, and you cannot provide specific, believable details about your legitimate activities there if questioned, they can at least hold you for a while, and even if they are unable to prove that you were up to anything illegal, you ''will'' be flagged by the relevant authority should you ever attempt to travel to that country or another suspect one in the future. If you engage in this and they catch you, this is your fault. Period. You could have gotten the help you needed earlier, but you chose not to, and whatever happens to you as a result - punishment, conviction, trial, incarceration, deportation, expulsion, etc - is solely on you. |
| 136 | * ''Do not hit your intimate partner. Ever. For any reason.'' This is self-explanatory, but to a lot of people it doesn't seem to be so. If you ever find yourself in a fight with a spouse or lover or other intimate partner that finds itself escalating beyond words, turn around and walk out the door. And walk for as long as it takes you to calm down. If your partner finds themselves in a position where they are in danger of losing control, allow them to leave without incident, or walk away if they tell you to, and do ''not'' use the absence as a license to damage their belongings. If you find yourself in these fights regularly, get psychological help and/or end the relationship by moving out or filing for divorce. There is no reason to lash out at one's partner in violence, and if you find yourself doing so, either there is something very wrong with you, with the structure of the relationship, or BOTH. |
| 137 | ** As a side note, yes, the DoubleStandard exists, so, if you are a man or masculine-identified (e.g. FTM, stone butch) do not hit a woman or female-identified person back ''even in self-defense if she hits you or hurts you first.'' Just escape, and end the relationship (to protect yourself legally, it might also be a good idea to be the ''first'' to file the police report, especially if she is obviously uninjured and you are obviously hurt.) |
| 138 | ** If you have a partner who has kinks that involve visible physical harm being inflicted upon them (e.g. rape kinks, extreme BDSM, blood play, etc.), ''get incontrovertible documentation of their enthusiastic consent''. It doesn't matter if they privately tell you that they want it - you really need ''some'' sort of hard evidence that it is a kink of theirs that they enjoy having you oblige. This isn't just as a "in case things between us go south" thing either - if a friend, family member, coworker, or anyone else sees obvious and heavy bruising or fresh injuries that they inquire about, only to be told that it's nothing, they are quite understandably going to assume that you are in an abusive situation that you do not want to admit to, and "they like it rough" is an explanation that law enforcement has heard many times before that has likely been bullshit whenever they have heard it, ergo it will ''not'' be believed. Furthermore, if you do not entirely trust the person who is asking you to carry out kinks involving receiving physical harm (i.e., they're a hookup you met on an app, or a friend with benefits who you do not know particularly well), you're better off just declining any requests. |
| 139 | * ''Do not hit a child. Ever. '''FOR ANY REASON WHATSOEVER.''''' Even if it's "CorporalPunishment"--the law today views that as child abuse. Seriously. Americans can be [[MamaBear remarkably protective]] [[PapaWolf of children]] in the first place, so harming children is a way to call official attention to yourself even if you haven't done anything illegal per se. If you're ''caring'' for the children, you better watch yourself--at a minimum you'll lose your job caring for the kid, and if the parents ''knew'' about the hitting--again, even if you ''and'' the parents thought the kid deserved a spanking, it may be sufficient grounds for at least temporary removal of the children from the custody of the parents until such time as the parents have satisfied the state that they are never going to lay hands on their children again. |
| 140 | * If, for whatever reason, you find yourself under investigation by a social services agency, ''do not make it worse for yourself''. Social services agents ''do not want to take away your kids'' - indeed, they would much rather resolve it amicably, and if you work with them, they'll work with you. Basic pointers for dealing with them include: |
| 141 | ** ''Do not coach or intimidate your kids''. Responses that were obviously either fed to them or were given out of fear (i.e., they're afraid of further abuse if they don't "tell the truth", or they've been led to believe that the agent is looking for anything to justify taking them away and/or that horrible things will happen to them in foster care) are ''massive'' red flags to agents, as are inconsistent responses or children suddenly recanting. Children are notoriously poor at maintaining lies and crack easily under pressure, and if they had a canned response drilled into them or are afraid of what will happen if they don't lie, an agent ''will'' find out and use it against you. |
| 142 | ** ''Be polite and agreeable''. You may be scared shitless, but so are a lot of parents in that position, and agents are very used to it and very willing to assuage your concerns ''if you're nice''. If you are rude, belligerent, evasive, lie to them, or immediately respond with excuses, they are not going to have any reason to be nice to you and will likely have an incentive to be suspicious. |
| 143 | ** ''Be reasonably prepared for visits''. DoWellButNotPerfect is the goal. Obviously, TrashOfTheTitans is not acceptable, and if your home is filthy and unsanitary, they ''will'' take further action. At the same time, a completely immaculate home will also make them suspicious and make them wonder what you're trying to hide; your home should be clean, but look "lived-in". If there ''is'' some kind of mess that you can't reasonably clean up in time that is unsightly but not disgusting, address it as best you can and let them know about the issue rather than trying to hide it. |
| 144 | ** ''If the report is false, alert them''. Social services agents get false reports all the time and are trained to spot them, but your help goes a long way. If you are going through a difficult divorce or custody battle, have a vindictive, vengeful person in your life, or the child really does have a documented history of false accusations or lying, or has known psychological problems that have false accusations as a presentation, get it on file, or, if you get advance notice of a possible false report, tip them off in case the report is made. They are still required to investigate the report, but having an entry in the file that the report is known to be false will greatly expedite the process. |
| 145 | |
| 146 | !! 3) PoliceBrutality and ways to protect yourself |
| 147 | * See all of the above points about interacting with officers and the steps you need to take to defuse an encounter, refusing searches if at all possible, and avoiding police entirely unless you absolutely must interact with them. |
| 148 | * If approached by law enforcement, make sure that you or someone else has a camera recording the encounter. While the laws on recording police vary state by state, it IS legal to record police officers on duty in all 50 US states. Some states require you to notify them ("Officer, I will be recording this" or similar) and others require you to keep a certain distance, but the last law outright forbidding recording police was struck down in 2014. |
| 149 | ** Recording law enforcement is vital in several ways regarding police brutality and protecting yourself - the presence of witnesses and cameras alone will often make all but the most RabidCop rethink the value of beating or tasing or shooting someone or making a bad arrest. Even if it does not, having recorded proof of the brutality ''will'' make it far easier for you and/or your relatives to prove your case for later lawsuits or insurance matters, will possibly keep you from facing criminal charges or worse criminal charges (e.g. if the video proves it was the cop that punched ''you,'' that will often get an assaulting an officer charge thrown out), and if nothing else might spare others the same fate. |
| 150 | ** On a similar note, ''attract attention.'' While you need to be polite and deferential, at the same time, ''loud'' speech to others isn't going to get you in any worse trouble, especially if violence is already being threatened or happening. Simple, direct statements are best: "Please don't hurt me" or "I'm not resisting" can draw attention. |
| 151 | * If the officer attacks with fists or a baton or a flashlight, ''protect your head'' as much as possible. Some alternatively recommend FakingTheDead if you are being beaten/have been shot and survived - this could lead to worse charges, but if you're in the situation where it's needed, it could possibly save your life, and the goal at that point is survival. If you do choose that option, whatever you do, do ''not'' use it to jump up and attack the officer/run away, as that will likely lead to being killed. |
| 152 | * If placed under arrest, your goal is to GET OUT AS FAST AS POSSIBLE. Much police brutality happens at the jail/corrections level (possibly more than in actual street stops) and, as no one can record or be a witness there, is far harder to defend against or even prove. You want to immediately call your attorney or someone who can put up any needed bail and demand your release, and you want to work toward ''any'' resolution of your case that keeps you out of jail pretrial or prison afterward. |
| 153 | ** If you are being arrested but the arrest itself isn't brutal or violent, you should ask the officer if you can get a notice to appear instead of going to jail. This isn't likely, but it ''is'' possible, especially in misdemeanors (e.g. small amounts of some drugs being possessed, disturbing the peace, simple assault, petty theft...) |
| 154 | ** If you have known outstanding warrants, you should immediately consult an attorney and reach an agreement to turn yourself in to the court where, in trade for appearing, any jail time is written off/converted to community service or house arrest. |
| 155 | ** When in any situation where one might ''possibly'' end up facing a law enforcement encounter (whether going out to party or even air travel or other travel in some instances) always write the number for your attorney and/or an out of area and in-area contact in semi-permanent or permanent ink on your body. Personal effects such as a phone or a wallet may be taken from you post arrest, and most people's memories aren't that good to memorize, so this is a vital tip for ensuring that you get out as fast as possible. |
| 156 | * If you are involved in a demonstration or protest (specifically one ''against'' the police) it's a fairly good idea to research tactics to preserve anonymity, understand what you are doing and how to do it, and how to not get yourself or others arrested or in trouble and how to handle it if you are. |
| 157 | ** If the protest starts getting violent, LEAVE IMMEDIATELY. Peaceful protests are a right almost everywhere in the world, violence and destruction of public/private property is not. Sadly, many times legitimate protests are used by agitators (just to ruin the protest) or violent people (who think they have a right to break/burn/destroy anything). So if some people starts insulting the cops, or throwing rocks, or pulling suspicious bottles out of their backpacks, LEAVE. |
| 158 | [[/folder]] |
| 159 | |
| 160 | [[folder:US and US territories - Avoiding Civil Lawsuits]] |
| 161 | !The Short Version For Not Getting Sued: |
| 162 | #The most common lawsuits revolve around liability for injury. If someone gets hurt on your property (or property under your control), by your vehicle (whether you or someone else are driving) or by you, they can and often will sue you. |
| 163 | #The second most common cause of lawsuits (and the most common for small claims suits and evictions and the like) involve money. Documenting financial dealings, taking care to document any property you rent and read the rental contract, and not ripping people off will help you avoid these lawsuits. |
| 164 | #Corporations that believe DigitalPiracyIsEvil are another reason for lawsuits, though less frequently than one might think. Taking care when pirating content (or avoiding doing so entirely) will help you avoid these lawsuits. |
| 165 | #Slander, libel, and defamation suits are also quite common. If you know that a harmful or inflammatory allegation is objectively false or do not know whether it is true or false but also do not care and go forward with it anyways, you can be sued for it. |
| 166 | #Finally, [[FrivolousLawsuit anyone can sue anyone for anything in many countries including the US and its territories]]. These lawsuits, thankfully, are rare for most individuals (businesses, celebrities, and governments tend to attract them more). Also note that courts are ''not'' tolerant of truly frivolous lawsuits (those without basis in fact or law). If you are the target of one, you can obtain some fairly severe sanctions against the plaintiff (especially perennially frivolous litigants; these people are classified as "vexatious litigants", and can end up with very limited access to the courts) and his or her attorney (who can be disbarred, suspended, or heavily fined for bringing frivolous litigation).[[note]]To qualify as a vexatious litigant, you have to habitually file worthless cases with the intent to annoy or harass, have those cases repeatedly thrown out, repeatedly attempt to get the court to determine issues that have already been determined, repeatedly use previously raised grounds and issues in subsequent proceedings, repeatedly engage in [[CourtroomAntics improper courtroom behavior]], habitually file frivolous appeals, and persistently fail to pay court costs as a result of failed proceedings.[[/note]]If you bring frivolous suits, be prepared for the consequences, which include public humiliation on the record (i.e. transcribed by a court reporter). Judges really don't like having their time wasted, and if you do, they will eviscerate you.[[note]]It also bears mentioning that an otherwise totally legitimate case can be destroyed if you repeatedly make [[ChewbaccaDefense ridiculous or worthless arguments]] or file bizarre, nonsensical motions; if an attorney does this, they can be sued for malpractice if this causes them to lose a case that was otherwise in the bag, and if a pro se litigant or defendant does this, they can expect contempt charges and fines. Once again, waste the court's time and you will be torn a new asshole.[[/note]] |
| 167 | |
| 168 | !! 1) So how do I not get sued? |
| 169 | * ''Liability'': |
| 170 | ** Take care to not have injury risks on your property or property under your control, and to warn (verbally at least, and preferably with signage) of any potential injury risks. If someone could fall onto it, through it, or over it - it needs a warning and to be repaired. If someone could drown in it, get poisoned by it, get attacked by it - you must have proper signage warning of the danger. |
| 171 | ** Drive carefully, and have insurance on your vehicle. Don't lend your vehicles to others or let people you do not entirely trust drive them. |
| 172 | ** Don't get into physical fights. If defending yourself is unavoidable, do not go overboard. |
| 173 | ** If you use firearms, maintain them, lock them up when not used, do not lend them, and only shoot them in properly designated ranges or hunting areas. |
| 174 | ** If someone has left you property to watch over, you have a duty of care to return it in the same condition that you found it in unless they asked or specifically gave you permission to make improvements. If it's in your care and you return it to them damaged, they have every right to sue you. |
| 175 | ** If you are hiring a contractor, it is your responsibility to personally ensure that they are licensed and bonded, and, for larger operations, to check their health and safety and environmental hazard records. You don't ever take their word for it, and if they hand you their information, you should still check the state records to ensure that they actually are currently licensed and bonded. If you hire someone and they get hurt or killed (or get someone else on the jobsite hurt or killed), cause major property damage, fuck up a job beyond belief and skip town, or illegally dispose of hazardous waste while in your employ, you ''will'' be sued, and telling a judge that you took them at their word and didn't investigate further (or hired them anyways even after you were made aware of their poor health and safety or environmental hazard records) is a great way to be on the hook for all the costs. If they ''ever'' try to pressure you to not look further, or will only accept cash as payment, that is a ''massive'' red flag and is a firm "do not hire". If they want to be paid in cash, it can only mean that they don't want a paper trail, usually because they have outstanding judgments or warrants or are trying to hide from process servers, and it also means that if you ever do try to sue them for anything, you're going to find it nearly impossible to track them down for service (and will have about as much luck collecting if you can get a judgment against them). |
| 176 | * ''Financial Arguments'': |
| 177 | ** Document any financial transaction you have, ''especially'' if it involves taxes, payroll/payment for services, the sale or purchase of merchandise over $500, or property. |
| 178 | ** Always read everything related to property, rentals, leases, or the like for residences or vehicles - if you can't understand it, possibly pay a lawyer to go over it. |
| 179 | ** Never pay a deposit in anything that doesn't have a paper trail. Cash does not work for deposits. This ''especially'' goes for rental deposits for both sides of the equation: a tenant whose deposit vanishes can have to pay more or face eviction proceedings, while if a tenant claims that as a landlord or subletter, you stole their deposit, and you can't prove you didn't, you can at least be sued - and possibly even criminally charged. |
| 180 | ** Make it clear what forms of payment you will and will not accept before engaging in a sale of property. Cash, in this case, is the safest option - you will know that you're getting the agreed-upon amount on the spot. Do not accept checks without first verifying that they are legitimate; if someone insists on paying with one, always go to their bank or credit union with them to ensure that they are not hot or counterfeit. If they balk, do not accept the check. Lastly, if engaging in online transactions involving credit cards, always use delivery confirmation and demand signatures if the item is particularly expensive, keep records of every order, and ask for confirmation numbers of returns. If you ''really'' don't want to take any chances, insist on collect-on-delivery/COD; this ensures that you will either get paid or get the item returned to you if they fail to pay. While this is primarily reserved for situations involving other businesses (usually when a client is at risk of defaulting on their account or regularly contests charges on invoices), it can come in handy whenever you want a guarantee that you will either be paid or get a hassle-free return. |
| 181 | ** Do not cajole or bully someone into signing a contract or handing over property to you. Duress and undue influence, while occasionally difficult to prove, are surefire ways to nullify contracts and potentially get charges filed against you. |
| 182 | ** Provide fair pay for anyone you are paying and whatever you do, don't back out on promised pay or goods, even if you are angry at a poor job done or find a better deal or whatever. The exception is when someone who is under contract fucks up bad enough to compromise the integrity of the contract; this is defined as "inferior performance", and it is absolutely a legitimate reason to significantly reduce the amount that you pay them or to outright refuse to pay them altogether. If this is the case, you might even have a reason to sue them if they refuse to make it right and you have to hire someone else to fix it, or if their incompetence results in personal injury or property damage. You should still go over it with a lawyer before you go this route, however; there is nothing like thinking you're in the right by refusing to pay the electrician who did such a shitty wiring job that he short-circuited half of your property, only for him to sue you to get his money and the judge to rule in his favor[[note]]The other main exception is with contracts involving minors; if you are under the age of eighteen and the item in question is not defined as a "necessity", you may be able to disaffirm (void the contract) if you got screwed. Note that you will still have to return the item in order to get your money back; also, the legal definition of "necessity" can be ''very'' broad depending on the circumstances. Very few minors are aware of this right, which is what most businesses bank on; that being said, if you've ever seen "must be eighteen or older to order" on a television ad for a children's item, this law is why[[/note]]. |
| 183 | ** If you're in a sticky situation with taxes, ''do not'' use tax protester arguments when stating your case. No matter what you may think, your interpretation of the law is not new, and they have almost certainly heard your argument before and are more than prepared to shoot it down. Also, it should be mentioned that even ''trying'' to use tax protester arguments has a high likelihood of netting contempt charges and hefty fines; time and time again, it has been proven that if the IRS was previously cordial and understanding with you, busting out tax protester arguments will make them jump for the boxing gloves and come after you with a vengeance. This goes at least quadruple for sovereign citizen tactics; employ these, and the most likely outcome is a prison sentence[[note]]As a matter of fact, even using terms like "sovereign citizen" or "free man" when filing improper returns will get you slapped with an automatic $5,000 fine by the IRS, and if you're making particularly massive deductions or already have a bad history with them, you may be looking at far more massive fines or criminal prosecution. The IRS does ''not'' fuck around when you piss them off, and they ''really'' hate sovereigns[[/note]]. |
| 184 | ** Of note, winning the lottery will attract a lot of unwanted attention (by law, lottery winners are recorded in a public registry with the exception of a few states), particularly those who want to file lawsuits for the smallest thing against you. If you are the lucky winner of a lottery and you are hit with a lawsuit, '''fight them off and do not settle'''. The moment they know you will fight back, and certainly now have the money to do so, they'll soon back off. |
| 185 | *** This is common enough a problem, that the lottery office often has contact information for legal offices available and it is advised that the first thing you do when winning the lottery is to immediately hire a lawyer, or have one present when you go to collect your winnings. |
| 186 | ** If you are selling something with serious known issues, be upfront about it. Yes, as-is/''caveat emptor'' does cover a lot of things and getting a trusted, knowledgeable third party to do pre-purchase inspections on used property (''especially'' houses and cars) is viewed as a no-brainer, but those inspections can't cover everything (e.g. serious hidden structural issues in houses, or mechanical issues that can't reliably be spotted at a garage in cars), and if you know about something serious that an inspection would not reliably be able to to detect that could be a dealbreaker and choose to not disclose it or attempt to hide it, you ''can'' be sued and a judge will tell you where you can stick your ''caveat emptor'' defense if you were blatantly deceptive or fraudulent when you sold someone something that you clearly knew was a piece of shit. |
| 187 | ** Do not file chargebacks as a first resort. Yes, chargebacks themselves are legal, and while their primary use is as a way of stopping illegitimate transactions, they can be a totally legitimate means by which one can apply pressure to a merchant who is in the wrong but refuses to resolve the matter amicably. However, you ''can'' be sued over chargebacks, and if you filed one just to get out of paying legitimate charges (towing/car impound fees being one of the most common) or to attempt to force a return that you were not eligible for, the ruling will not be in your favor. Furthermore, merchants have the right to refuse to do business with certain individuals as long as it is not for a protected reason, and filing a chargeback, repeatedly threatening to do so, or habitually contesting or disputing transactions are completely legitimate reasons for deciding that they no longer want your business and automatically declining all further transactions. |
| 188 | * ''Piracy'' |
| 189 | ** "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure." The easiest way to avoid getting sued for piracy is simply not to do it in the first place. |
| 190 | ** That said, if you do choose to engage in piracy, it's often a good idea to limit the amount you do it/spread it out, use anon proxies and other means of guarding your identity, and to, if possible, stick to materials that aren't the active target of litigation. For example, the odds you will be sued over downloading an arthouse CultClassic that [[KeepCirculatingTheTapes left active sale four years ago]], or a song that [[DigitalPiracyIsOkay a band actually wants spread around as much as possible]]/is on an album that is no longer sold, or a game that isn't sold anywhere anymore at all are far, far lower than the odds you will be sued over the latest Hollywood blockbuster that hasn't even hit video yet, a popular song that is in wide rotation and sale or by a band that seriously believes DigitalPiracyIsEvil, or a game that just hit store shelves yesterday. The closer something gets to being {{Abandonware}} or its equivalent in most cases, the less likely, generally, you are to be sued over it. Viewing as opposed to downloading will also lower your chances of getting sued from it. |
| 191 | * ''Other causes of lawsuits'': |
| 192 | ** Plagiarizing something and selling it as your own is a bad idea, generally. |
| 193 | ** Don't make public, accusatory statements about people unless you can back it up or it is obvious opinion (something that cannot be proven true or false). For example, "Bob is in TheMafia" or "Sarah is a child molester" are potential slander or libel as they are objective statements of fact that can be proven false (e.g. if Bob is ''not'' in TheMafia or Sarah does ''not'' molest children, they can sue you). "Bob is fat and ugly" or "Sarah is a bitch" are indeed abusive, but they are not illegal statements because they can't be proven true or false (e.g. there is no objective fact of what "fat and ugly" is or what defines someone as a "bitch"). Public figures have a heightened burden of proof due to protections for fair comment and parody and satire, but "it's social commentary" and/or "I was joking" are not get-out-of-jail-free cards for genuinely defamatory statements. While it's largely up to a court to decide, it can generally be assumed that if a reasonable person would take it at face value and/or would not have reason to assume that it was in jest, they're going to call bullshit on your claims that it wasn't meant to be taken seriously. |
| 194 | ** To add to that part about defamation, if you are repeating an allegation of criminal activity, professional misconduct, or social impropriety, or ''anything'' with the potential to jeopardize someone's liberty, livelihood, or social standing, you ''must'' take extra measures to ensure that it is true. Merely double-checking with your source or adding "I ''believe'' this to be true" or "''if'' this is true" (or anything else that makes it clear that you are not absolutely certain that it is true) is not sufficient, and very well may get you into even more trouble if the plaintiff's attorney can make a good case for you caring more about getting attention, or that you had it in for the other party to begin with and just repeated the first juicy bit of information that you got because you wanted it to be true. In short, if it is likely to have serious repercussions for them and you do not have objectively strong evidence that it is true, ''don't say it''. |
| 195 | ** If leaving a bad review, don't make anything up or use hyperbole that could be taken at face value. Stick to the facts of the situation - if your review includes false claims or accusations or engages in hyperbole that a reasonable person may actually believe is factual, you ''can'' be sued for it. If the service or goods provided really were that terrible and you weren't being an unreasonable asshole, the truth should speak for itself. If you were given bad service because you were a dick and you leave an angry review that claims that you were served dirty or rotten food or addressed with derogatory slurs when you really weren't, the business has every right to sue you for trying to tarnish their good name out of spite. |
| 196 | ** Don't bad-mouth a particular [[ChurchOfHappyology religious movement]] [[HeWhoMustNotBeNamed that must not be named]], unless you are really, really sure you are out of range of their legal artillery (that means, in a country where they are banned). Even you think you can prove your statements, you have to outlawyer their army of lawyers, who are notoriously adept at sophistry. Even if you live in a state with strong anti-SLAPP (strategic lawsuit against public participation) tools, you should probably just keep your mouth shut anyways, as they likely have plenty of lawyers who are more than familiar with anti-SLAPP motions and know how to defeat them, especially since said organization was one of the main causes of anti-SLAPP motions being created to begin with. |
| 197 | ** If you are currently in the middle of a legal battle, don't file anything purely for the sake of annoying or frustrating the opposition or otherwise making their life hard. Bad faith filings can kill a case that you may have otherwise have, invite sanctions that can and often will cost you, and get you sued or potentially even result in contempt charges, and people who habitually file abusive, malicious motions and petitions can and often will wind up getting their access to the courts severely limited. |
| 198 | [[/folder]] |
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FollowingContext UsefulNotes / StayingOutOfLegalTrouble
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