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1[[quoteright:1000:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/dog_sees_god_poster_scaled.jpg]]
2''Dog Sees God: Confessions of a Teenaged Blockhead'' is a 2004 fanfiction play (or an "unauthorized parody") by Bert V. Royal.
3
4A {{darker and edgier}} take on the ''ComicStrip/{{Peanuts}}'' universe, the show ''starts'' with the death of Snoopy and Woodstock, and somehow only manages to get more depressing from there. Due to copyright and trademark issues, none of the characters go by their official ''Peanuts''-verse names.
5
6There is a sequel in the works called ''The Gospel According to Matt: Confessions of a Teenage Dirtbag'', themed around Matt.
7
8----
9[[AC:The main characters are:]]
10* CB: Charlie Brown. Probably the most well-adjusted character (until the plot happens).
11* CB's Sister: Sally
12* Van: Linus gone pothead. When CB and Van's sister burnt his security blanket, his response was to mix it with weed and smoke it.
13* Matt: Pigpen. In the years since ''Peanuts'', he's turned into a germaphobe and a homophobe.
14* Beethoven: Schroeder
15* Marcy: Marcie
16* Tricia: Peppermint Patty
17* Van's Sister: Lucy
18
19----
20!!This play provides examples of:
21
22* AbusiveParents: Beethoven's father [[ParentalIncest sexually abused]] him.
23* AdaptationalSexuality: Charlie Brown was straight in the comic, but CB is attracted to other men.
24* AdaptationalVillainy: Pigpen, the lovable mess, becomes Matt, the germophobic and homophobic jock.
25* AdaptationNameChange:
26** It's implied that Tricia's surname is "York". In canon, Peppermint Patty's name is Patricia Reichardt.
27** For copyright reasons, everyone goes by an alias. The exceptions are Frieda (who is only referenced and does not appear in the show) and Marcie (whose name is spelled "Marcy" but pronounced the same way). Most of the aliases are similar in some way to the characters' original names, except for Sally and Lucy (who are [[NoNameGiven never given names of their own]], only referred to as "[CB/Van]'s Sister") and Beethoven.
28* AdultsAreUseless: Lampshaded, specifically the traditional muffled-trombone ''Peanuts'' voices.
29* AffectionateParody: Every single cliché from various earlier "DarkerAndEdgier" parodies of the comic show up here in some form, from Snoopy getting rabies to Peppermint Patty and Marcie having a huge lesbian subtext going on (there's also a reference to the famous "Stop calling me 'sir'!"), Linus becoming a pot addict, to Schroeder being a closet gay, and everyone is generally foul-mouthed, drug-abusing and sex-obsessed -- but despite all this, the comic's ideals and themes are upheld and honored (if stretched a little), and [[spoiler: the final scene, with the letter from C.S. (aka Charles Schulz) is full of heartfelt words of encouragement to CB, telling him that he ''is'' a good man when all is said and done... and, depending on your interpetation, that his friend, dog and bird are happy in the afterlife.]]
30* AmbiguousTimePeriod: It's never clarified when the story takes place. It could be contemporary or it could be a period piece
31* AllGaysLoveTheatre:
32-->'''Van's Sister:''' No offence, CB, but I don't think you're cool enough to be gay. Don't get me wrong, I love you to death, but if I had to imagine you giving a shit about home decoration or musical theatre, I just don't see it.
33-->'''[[StraightGay CB]]:''' [[LampshadeHanging Now you're just using stereotypes.]]
34* ArcWords:
35** "Find an identity."
36** To a lesser extent, "[[TitleDrop Dog sees God]] in his master."
37* ArmoredClosetGay: While [[spoiler:Matt's]] sexuality is never confirmed, it's clear by the play's end that he has a strong interest in CB.
38* AllOfTheOtherReindeer: Beethoven became this after everyone found out his dad went to prison for molesting him, so everyone stopped being his friend, and he replaced CB as the ChewToy.
39* AmicableExes: Apparently, CB and Van's sister dated before she was put into the insane asylum.
40* BerserkButton: NEVER call Matt "Pigpen". [[spoiler: Beethoven]] makes this mistake at the end of the play, and it [[spoiler:costs him his life.]]
41* BlackComedy: Considering it's based off of ''Peanuts'', this was a given.
42* BreadMilkEggsSquick:
43-->'''CB:''' Just because I did something that I wanted to do doesn't make me a homo. I've smoked pot. Doesn't mean I'm a pothead. I've drank plenty of beer. Doesn't make me a drunk. [[spoiler: You set that little redheaded girl's hair on fire. [[{{Metaphorgotten}} Doesn't make you a pyromaniac.]]]]
44-->'''Van's Sister:''' Well, actually, technically it does.
45-->'''CB:''' Okay. Bad example.
46* BreakTheCutie: The entire play can be seen as this for CB. It starts with him losing his dog and comes full circle with him [[spoiler: losing his lover at the end]].
47* ButtMonkey: CB, obviously.
48* BuryYourGays: Alas, [[spoiler:Beethoven]]! We hardly knew ye! He kills himself after [[spoiler:having his hands broken by Matt]]. It's unclear if this was a GayngstInducedSuicide, a suicide over a CareerEndingInjury, or both.
49* CatchPhrase: Most of those in ''Peanuts'' are lampshaded.
50* CatsAreSuperior: Referenced in the quote the title is taken from:
51-->'''Beethoven''': You know, they say a dog sees God in his master. A cat just looks in the mirror.
52* ChildhoodFriendRomance:
53** CB and Beethoven, although they had been distant for years before they got together.
54** This also applies to the relationship between CB and Van's sister before she was incarcerated.
55* ComedicSociopathy: Van's Sister is in an insane asylum [[spoiler:for setting the Little Red-Headed Girl's hair on fire]].
56* ComingOutStory: For [[spoiler:Beethoven]] and [[spoiler:CB]].
57* {{Cloudcuckoolander}}:
58** CB's sister. Three words: "Cocooning into Platypus."
59** Van also fits the mold pretty well.
60%%* CrapsackWorld
61* DarkerAndEdgier: Oh, yes. The play is an unauthorized parody of ''Peanuts''. It's essentially a DarkFic, with the story starting with Snoopy having rabies and only getting grimmer from there.
62* DisproportionateRetribution: The reasoning behind Van's sister setting the Little Red-Headed Girl's hair on fire. The day before the incident, Van's sister had an abortion, and while in sex ed class, she was reading a note the Little Red-Headed Girl was passing to someone else about "how happy she was that she was a virgin and that she was going to stay that way until she gets married and how repulsed she was by all of the whores at our school".
63* DontCallMeSir: One of the many {{Shout Out}}s to the original comic strip references the RunningGag centered around this trope.
64* DownerBeginning: The story begins with CB's dog being put down due to rabies. His dog also killed his bird friend.
65* DrivenToSuicide: [[spoiler: Beethoven]], after [[spoiler:Matt]] breaks his hands.
66* DumbassHasAPoint: Ditzy Tricia is the one to point out [[spoiler: the fact that Matt has a homoerotic obsession with CB.]] She even [[LampshadeHanging lampshades]] it: "I'm the dumb one and I figured it out."
67* EruditeStoner: Van has grown up into this.
68* {{Fingore}}: When Matt [[spoiler: breaks all of Beethoven's fingers by slamming the piano lid onto them]].
69* {{Flatline}}: Several unofficial posters for the play use imagery of a black line shaped like a flatlining electrocardiogram against a yellow background, resembling Charlie Brown's iconic yellow shirt with the zig-zag stripe.
70* ForcefulKiss: CB is fond of giving this to Beethoven. Also counts as a ShutUpKiss.
71* FullNameBasis: Averted; even though CB ''is'' Charlie Brown, he is never called by his full name. Though his sister does refer to him as "Charles", and Van calls him "Chuck B.". Only one production used his full name, and they were sued because of it.
72* FunWithPalindromes: The title, minus the subtitle -- "Dog Sees God".
73* GayAesop: The show is all about the damage homophobic bullying can do, as seen with how the relentless mockery Beethoven receives from Matt leads him to depression and isolation.
74* GreenEyedMonster: [[spoiler: Matt's love for CB]] is ultimately what drives him to threaten and injure [[spoiler:Beethoven]].
75* HeroicBSOD: Both CB and his sister experience this trope after [[spoiler: Beethoven's death]].
76* IllBeYourBestFriend: Van's sister offers to be CB's best friend forever if he sneaks her a book of matches next time he visits. [[spoiler:According to him, though, [[FriendshipMoment she already is.]]]]
77* IncompatibleOrientation: CB's sister loves Beethoven, but Beethoven is gay.
78* InterspeciesFriendship:
79** CB's dog always played with a yellow bird. CB mentions it was as if they were best friends, though he wonders if that's too anthropomorphic sounding.
80** CB was very close to his dog, but his friends don't understand why he's so obsessed over a dog.
81* IronicEcho: "I can't keep up with you. Find an identity!" The first time, it's said out of frustration from CB to his sister, who has a new obsession every week. The second time, it's said half-mockingly, half-lovingly from CB's sister to CB, remarking on [[spoiler:his sudden coming out]].
82* {{Irony}}: Van's sister ran a 5-cent psychiatry booth in her younger years. Now, as a teenager, she's stuck in an insane asylum for setting the Little Red-Haired Girl's hair on fire.
83%%* {{Jerkass}}: Matt.
84* KarmaHoudiniWarranty: [[spoiler:At the end of the original play, Matt gets off with just a one-week suspension for breaking Beethoven's fingers. In the sequel, he is shown to be in the insane asylum as well.]]
85%%* KillTheCutie: [[spoiler: Beethoven.]]
86* KilledOffForReal: [[spoiler:Snoopy has to be put down after getting rabies and killing Woodstock, and Beethoven kills himself after Matt breaks his hands by slamming the piano top on them.]]
87* LargeHam:
88** CB's sister is one in-universe, judging by her original performance of her "Cocooning Into Platypus" play. Although it's later subverted by her final performance after [[spoiler: Beethoven's death]].
89** Van's sister also qualifies. Partly justified in that she's drugged up on lithium during her [[OneSceneWonder only appearance]].
90* LeaningOnTheFourthWall: "Do you ever feel like you're not a real person? That you're the product of someone's imagination and you can't think for yourself because you're really just like some creation and that somewhere there's people laughing every time you fall?"
91* LoveDodecahedron: As is typical of a ''Peanuts''-inspired story. CB and Beethoven develop an interest in each other, even though CB was dating Van's sister (who ''herself'' was briefly in love with Beethoven when they were kids) until she was [[spoiler: arrested for arson.]] Meanwhile, Van likes CB's sister, who likes Beethoven. Tricia and Marcie initially like Matt and CB, respectively, although Marcie grows more attracted to Matt after they sleep together. And finally, as is revealed as the play goes on, [[spoiler: Matt is in love with CB, and is intensely jealous of the attention CB is receiving from Beethoven.]]
92%%* MushroomSamba
93* NamedByTheAdaptation: Pigpen doesn't have a canonical name, but the play calls him "Matt".
94%%* NeverMyFault
95* NoBisexuals: CB once had a relationship with Van's sister, and his love for the Little Red-Headed Girl is also acknowledged. However, after he kisses Beethoven, everyone talks about him as being gay, including CB himself; no one ever raises the possibility that he could be bi.
96* NoNameGiven: To get around copyrights, Snoopy and Woodstock are referred to by species.
97** For presumably similar reasons, Sally and Lucy are never given actual names. The script calls them "CB's Sister" and "Van's Sister" respectively, and the other characters don't address or refer to them by name.
98* OutgrowingTheChildishName: It doubles as a way to get around copyrights, but several characters have outgrown their child nicknames. For example, Peppermint Patty goes by Tricia (short for "Patricia") and Pigpen goes by "Matt".
99* OrdinaryHighSchoolStudent: CB. This is even [[LampshadeHanging lampshaded]] by Van's sister.
100* RayOfHopeEnding: [[spoiler:Beethoven commits suicide after Matt breaks his hands, but CB gets a letter from his pen pal (all but stated to be Creator/CharlesMSchulz himself) that encourages him to keep hoping for good things and tells him he's a good person, and implies that Beethoven, CB's dog, and the little yellow bird are happy in the afterlife]].
101* ShoutOut:
102** The script is loaded with not-quite-copyright infringement references to the cartoon.
103** The last line [[spoiler:of CS's letter to CB]] is "[[Theatre/YoureAGoodManCharlieBrown You're a good man.]]"
104* ShutUpHannibal: [[spoiler: Matt does ''not'' take CB and Beethoven's relationship well. So when he accuses Beethoven of "messing" with his friend's feelings and threatens him to stay away from CB, Beethoven's brief replies are nothing short of this.]]
105-->[[spoiler:'''Beethoven:''' No.]]
106-->[[spoiler:'''Matt:''' What? What did you just say?]]
107-->[[spoiler:'''Beethoven:''' I said no. [[BerserkButton Pigpen]].]]
108%%* SiblingTriangle
109* SkewedPriorities: Marcie freaks out when Beethoven shows up, saying her parents will kill her if they find out there was a gay person in the house. While she's throwing a WildTeenParty while her parents are out of town. CB is quick to point out that that's probably actually pretty far down on the list of reasons they've given her parents to get mad.
110-->'''CB:''' Marcie, there are seven people high on ecstasy f*cking in your parents' bed!
111%%* StraightGay: CB.
112* TheirFirstTime: [[spoiler:CB]] admits to [[spoiler:Van's sister]] that he and [[spoiler:Beethoven]] had sex after leaving the party. Although it's implied by their dialogue that she and [[spoiler:CB]] have had sex before, while they were dating. It's still his first time with another male, however.
113* ThenLetMeBeEvil: An implied case with Van's sister. She claims that she's been labeled a psychopath and never been given a chance to prove otherwise, so she has no choice but to believe it herself.
114* UnrequitedLoveSwitcheroo: In the original Peanuts comic, Sally was in love with Linus, which Linus absolutely hated. In the play, Van now has a thing for CB's sister, but she's not interested.
115* UsedToBeATomboy: Rough and tumble tomboy Peppermint Patty has grown up to be ditzy party girl Tricia.
116* WeUsedToBeFriends / EtTuBrute: Beethoven feels betrayed that all his friends started to shun him when they found out about his father's sexual abuse. He especially resents CB, who was one of his closest childhood friends and did nothing to stop the bullying.
117-->''"You were one of my best friends. You all were. I just don't get it."''
118* WeightWoe: Frieda has an eating disorder.
119* WildTeenParty: Marcie throws one of these while her parents are away. [[spoiler: While sex-crazed teen antics are expected, it's CB's kissing of Beethoven that truly shocks the other partygoers]].
120* WhyDidItHaveToBeSnakes: Matt's compulsive cleanliness.
121* WritingAroundTrademarks: To avoid copyright infringement, none of the characters are referred to by their actual names.
122* {{Yandere}}: [[spoiler:Matt]] is implied to be a closet one for [[spoiler:CB]].
123* YouAreWhatYouHate: Matt is a massive homophobe [[spoiler:who's implied to be in love with CB.]]

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