Line #8 Theatre/AltarBoyz


1	-->"We are the [[TitleDrop Altar Boyz]]
2	-->We know that God is where it's at
3	-->We are the Altar Boyz
4	-->Because we think he's real phat
5	-->We are the Altar Boyz
6	-->You know we don't get no complaints
7	-->We are the Altar Boyz
8	-->And we can even name the saints!
9	-->We are the Altar Boyz
10	-->We think that church is super fine
11	-->We are the Altar Boyz
12	-->We love the wafers and the wine
13	-->We are the Altar Boyz
14	-->And I think you'll find...
15	-->We're gonna [[IncrediblyLamePun altar]] your mind!
16	--->'''"We Are The Altar Boyz"'''
17
18	Five small-town boys from Ohio — [[ThemeNaming Matthew, Mark, Luke, Juan]] and [[OddNameOut Abraham]] ([[TokenMinority he's Jewish]]) — have joined forces to save the souls of America through their righteous music, with lyrics like "Girl, You Make Me Wanna Wait" and "Jesus Called Me on My Cell Phone". But will their angelic voices and spectacular dancing work its wonders in New York City?
19
20	The ninth longest-running off-Broadway musical in history, ''Altar Boyz'' is an AffectionateParody of boy bands and Christan rock. The Boyz are giving a concert in New York, hoping to save the souls of their audience, but find themselves confronting their own demons and doubts over the course of the night.
21	----
22	!! This musical provides examples of:
23	%%* BigApplesauce
24	* BiggerIsBetter: The boys are ''very'' upset that they're in a small Off Broadway theater and not a place like the Radio City Music Hall.
25	* BlackComedy: An extended sequence involves milking laughs out of Juan's discovery that the parents for whom he's spent his life searching are, in fact, dead.
26	* BoyBand: The central concept of the show is an AffectionateParody of Christian rock and boy bands.
27	* BreakupBreakout: InUniverse, it doesn't actually happen, but record labels promise exactly this to each member of the band to get them to sign a solo deal. [[spoiler:Abraham is the only one not to accept the deal.]]
28	-->'''Abraham:''' [[spoiler:Let me get this straight. You mean ''I'm'' the only Altar Boy??]]
29	* ChaseScene: La Vida Eternal, as the boys try to get Juan to finish his song.
30	* DarkAndTroubledPast: Surprisingly. Juan, after searching for his parents for ''years'', finds out that they're dead on his birthday. Luke has had an awfully hard time in school, and went to alcohol to cope with his issues. As for Mark, it is implied that he got gaybashed ''every Sunday'' when he was young.
31	* FlamboyantGay: Mark. His bandmates do not appear to notice.
32	* FunnyBackgroundEvent: When Abraham takes over the vocals on "La Vida Eternal", it's kind of funny, but watching the other three desperately chase Juan around the stage is ''[[SugarWiki/FunnyMoments hilarious]]''.
33	* FunnyForeigner: Juan, particularly played up in the "Genesis of the Altar Boyz" segment.
34	* GayAesop: "Epiphany", Mark's big solo, seems to be setting up a "Gays are people too" message, but then turns out to be "Catholics are people too" instead.
35	* GeniusBonus: Abraham, the Jewish gefilte fish out of water, writes all the bands' songs in universe. It especially makes sense if you have the knowledge that a great many Christmas songs were written by Jewish songwriters (Johnny Marks, Irving Berlin, Jule Styne, Sammy Cahn, etc).
36	* GiveMeASign: Used in the "Genesis of the Altar Boyz" segment.
37	* GodIsLoveSongs: Theatre/AltarBoyz is made of this trope.
38	* HaveAGayOldTime: An audience member confesses to having coveted his neighbor's ass (i.e., the sin of lust). Juan mistakes his meaning and gives an impassioned speech about the lure of donkeys.
39	-->"And maybe if you ask nicely, your neighbor will allow you to stroke his ass!"
40	* InnocentInnuendo: The Altar Boyz beg to "put it in me" -- of course, they're referring to God putting the rhythm in them.
41	* ItRunsOnNonsensoleum: The Soul Sensor DX-12.
42	* MusicalWorldHypotheses: Falls decidedly into the diegetic category.
43	* ParentalAbandonment: Juan's backstory.
44	* PrettyFlyForAWhiteGuy: Luke.
45	* ProductPlacement: The Soul Sensor DX-12 is a Creator/{{Sony}} product, and Matthew never fails to remind the audience of that fact.
46	* {{Pun}}
47	-->"At least I signed with Virgin!"
48	* PuritySue: Matthew. So much so that he even sings a song about how abstinent he is.
49	* SubvertedRhymeEveryOccasion: A variation; the rhyme is preserved but the spirit is the same. In a song about waiting until marriage to have sex:
50	-->Girl, you make me want to wait
51	-->At least until our wedding date
52	-->So till then, I'll master...
53	-->My own fate
54	* TheElevenOClockNumber: Epiphany is a parody of this.
55	* TransparentCloset: Mark basically lives in one.
56	* UnreliableNarrator: In "Genesis of the Altar Boyz", the beginning of the band is told in a sketch divided into segments, each written by one member of the band and highly influenced by the author — in Mark's section, Matthew gushes over his hair; in Luke's, everyone is very nonverbal; in Juan's, everyone is incredibly insensitive about his lack of parents, and in Abraham's, everyone is incredibly insensitive about his Judaism.
57	* UnusualEuphemism: Repeated reference is made to Luke having just come out of rehab for "exhaustion".
58	** [[spoiler:Subverted by the in-character blog that used to be [[AllThereInTheManual on the site for the musical]]. It turns out that Luke was exhausted because he'd been driving the band's van at night and not getting any sleep, causing him to crash into a tree and sustain some minor injuries (hence the need for rehab).]]
59	-->"In my defense, I was incredibly exhausted at the time!"
60	* WhenItAllBegan: The "Genesis of the Altar Boyz" sketch.
61	----
62	-->"We are the Altar Boyz
63	-->You know we're right here in your town
64	-->We are the Altar Boyz
65	-->You helped us knock the devil down!
66	-->We are the Altar Boyz
67	-->You know we'd really love to stay
68	-->We are the Altar Boyz
69	-->But now it's time to go away
70	-->We are the Altar Boyz
71	-->You know we'll always dance and rhyme
72	-->We are the Altar Boyz
73	-->Why don't we sing it one more time?
74	-->We are the Altar Boyz
75	-->And I think you'll find...
76	-->We're gonna altar your mind!
77	--->'''"We Are The Altar Boyz (Remix)"'''

Context Theatre / AltarBoyz