Line #50 Quotes/WhoWritesThisCrap


1	->''"Bring me the vile creature who drew this cartoon!"''
2	-->-- '''[[LargeHam Dr. Robotnik]]''', ''WesternAnimation/AdventuresOfSonicTheHedgehog''[[note]]This is an in-universe example. He was referring to Sketch Lampoon and his "Humpty Dumpty" comic about him.[[/note]]
3
4	->'''Dr. Eggman''': [[{{Pun}} Water you waiting for?]] Climb aboard the exotic aquarium for a boatload of--ugh, who ''writes'' this drivel?\
5	'''Orbot''': You do, boss!\
6	'''Dr. Eggman''': Oh you're right, I ''do!'' [[EvilHasABadSenseOfHumor I'm hilarious!]]
7	-->-- ''VideoGame/SonicColors''
8
9	->''"Who wrote this crap? Oh yeah, Scott. Well, uhh, good work."''
10	-->-- '''Roger Wilco''', ''VideoGame/SpaceQuestVIRogerWilcoInTheSpinalFrontier''
11
12	->''"Who writes this guy's stuff?"''
13	-->-- '''Eddy''', ''WesternAnimation/EdEddNEddy''
14
15	->''"Rosebud... yes, Rosebud Frozen Peas. Full of [[CountryMatters country]] [[StealthPun goodness]] and [[HehHehYouSaidX green pea-ness]]. Wait, that's terrible, I quit."''
16	-->-- '''Creator/OrsonWelles (Creator/MauriceLaMarche)''', ''WesternAnimation/TheCritic''
17
18	-> Here, under protest, is 'beef burgers.' ''"We know a little place in the American far west, where Charlie Briggs chops up the finest prairie-fed beef and tastes..."'' This is a lot of shit, you know that?
19	-->-- '''Creator/OrsonWelles''' (for real this time), in the infamous "Frozen Peas" BlooperReel (which Creator/MauriceLaMarche was parodying in the preceding quote)
20
21	->''"I was wondering how those hack writers were going to wrap things up."''
22	-->-- '''Babs Bunny''', ''WesternAnimation/TinyToonAdventuresHowISpentMyVacation''
23
24	->''"Right. Let's give this a whirl. 'Oh eternal and all-powerful Lord, to whom the darkness itself bows down, from whom flows the damnation of humankind...' who writes this dross?"''
25	-->-- '''Spike''', ''VideoGame/BuffyTheVampireSlayer2002''
26
27	->'''WebVideo/TheNostalgiaCritic:''' Okay, your story ''sucks''.
28	->'''Creator/DougWalker:''' ''[[NoYou You]]'' [[NoYou suck!]]
29	-->-- ''WebVideo/ToBoldlyFlee''
30
31	->''"The shadowy conspiracy theory would work fine...if we really kept anything secret about ourselves. But we don't. At least...I don't. If anyone asked us, we pretty much told them upfront. About anything. Anyone that really wanted to look into how we operated just had to ask. But they didn't. ...It's kind of like someone's trying to write a knockoff of ''Literature/TheDaVinciCode'', but forget to ensure all the {{red herring}}s lined up."''
32	-->-- '''Umika''', Roleplay/WeAreOurAdventuringAvatars
33
34	->''"…what? Who writes this junk?"''
35	-->-- '''[[Videogame/PaperMario64 Kooper]]''', ''FanFic/PaperMarioX'', "Epilogue: The Last Good-bye"
36
37	->'''WesternAnimation/DaffyDuck:''' I wonder where all the hunters are today? ''[gets shot by said hunters]''\
38	'''WesternAnimation/DaffyDuck:''' ''[enraged]'' I DEMAND TO KNOW WHO WROTE THIS SCRIPT!!\
39	'''[[spoiler:WesternAnimation/BugsBunny]]:''' I'd like to tell him, but, uh... ''[chuckles]'' modesty forbids.
40	-->-- ''WesternAnimation/AStarIsBored''
41
42	->''This sounds like the premise for a bad Saturday morning cartoon.''
43	-->-- '''Julian''', ''FanFic/DigimonRegenesis''
44
45	->''"...Who the hell wrote this crap?!"''
46	-->-- '''Lord Zetta''', ''VideoGame/MakaiKingdom'', when confronted with living corn cobs
47
48	->''Harry, I don't know who I am anymore. What I just did is so {{out of character}} that I don't know what came over me!''
49	-->-- '''[[Literature/HarryPotter Hermione Granger]]''', ''Fanfic/InThisWorldAndTheNext''
50
51	->This is the seven o'clock noose. This is the nine o'clock noose. And this is the noose at ten. And ''this''... ''(camera pans down to a man in modern dress on a chopping block)'' is the person who wrote that joke.
52	-->--'''Executioner''', ''Series/HorribleHistories''
53
54	->''Whoever wrote this episode should DIE!''
55	-->-- '''Gwen Dimarco''', ''Film/GalaxyQuest''
56
57	->''"Page 62, '[[Film/MortalKombatAnnihilation Johnny Cage dies?]]' Is someone ''high''?!"''
58	-->-- '''Johnny Cage''', ''VideoGame/MortalKombat11''
59
60	->''"Thank you, ladies and germs! I, uh — I just slithered in from headquarters, and — ha ha ha — and boy, does my stomach hurt! But, uh, seriously, folks, a funny thing happened to me on the way to the studio... [screams in frustration] ''NO! No, I cannot continue with this idiotic drivel!"''''
61	-->-- '''[[WesternAnimation/GIJoeARealAmericanHero Destro]]''', "Cobrathon", just before shooting his cue card to pieces
62
63	->If there were no books in the world, I'd never have to scream, "Who published this trash!?"
64	-->-- '''[[SelfDeprecation Hans Christian Andersen]]''', ''VideoGame/FateGrandOrder''
65
66	->Yo, Master, what the hell's going on!? What's a giant mechanical little girl doing outside? Oh, right, she's not really little anymore, is she? So, just plain old giant mechanical dragon girl then?
67	->Ugh, what the shit, man? Who comes up with this stuff?
68	-->-- '''Assassin of Shinjuku''', ''VideoGame/FateGrandOrder''
69
70	->Though I fall to dew, and fade away with the mist... Hm? Hang on. This is Monkey's deathbed haiku. Okay, seriously. What hack wrote this garbage? Well, no matter. Farewell...
71	-->-- '''Demon King of the Sixth Heaven - Himiko (Oda Nobunaga)''', taking part in a play, ''VideoGame/FateGrandOrder''
72
73	->People tell me most consoles aim for being loss leaders these days. Well, I don't know about that but they certainly are ''dross'' leaders! [[DontExplainTheJoke Leaders in the field of dross!]] ''({{beat}})'' [[ARareSentence You know, I got paid money to write that!]]
74	-->-- '''Yahtzee Croshaw''', ''WebAnimation/ZeroPunctuation''
75
76	->'''James:''' These drawing boards have been the birthplace of some of the most beloved animal characters of all time. So it's no surprise that the artists chose, for our next segment, "The Carnival of the Animals" by Camille Saint-Saëns. Here, the sensitive strains of impressionistic music combine with the subtle artistry of the animator to finally answer that age-old question: what is man's relationship to nature?\
77	''(Eric Goldberg hands him the script)''\
78	'''James:''' Oh, sorry. That age-old question: what would happen if you gave a yo-yo to a flock of flamingos? Who wrote this?
79	-->-- '''Creator/JamesEarlJones''', ''WesternAnimation/Fantasia2000''
80
81	->Look, it is Fire Dedede! Our hero! ...I would ''never'' say that.
82	-->-- '''Meta Knight''', ''Anime/KirbyRightBackAtYa''[[note]]Another InUniverse example, where the characters are creating a cartoon for King Dedede to broadcast.[[/note]]
83
84	->''I'd like to get my hands on whoever wrote this script!''
85	-->-- '''Mr. Bitte''', during the [[BigLippedAlligatorMoment "Cabin Fever" musical number]] in ''Film/MuppetTreasureIsland''
86
87	->I think the writers are tired. Or drunk. Probably a little of both.
88	-->-- '''The Narrator''', ''Manga/SgtFrog''
89
90	->"With the [[UsefulNotes/VoyagerGoldenRecord Golden Disk]] finally within my grasp, I possess the unlimited power to... (script says [[RunningGag putitinmyass]]) Uh... [''breaks character''] I can't... No... I just can't. [[Main/{{Corpsing}} I just can't...]]"
91	-->-- '''Creator/DavidKaye as [[Characters/BeastWarsPredacons Megatron]]''', ''WebVideo/JobbyTheHong''
92
93	->''What is this segment? [{{Beat}}] Pretzels is the same.''
94	-->-- '''Hannibal Burress''', ''Series/TheEricAndreShow'', "Hannibal's Pretzels"
95
96	->'''Proto Man:''' Mega Man?
97	->'''Author:''' No. I am the being that controls your every thought and movement!
98	->'''Proto Man:''' Who?
99	->'''Author:''' I'm [[AuthorAvatar the author of this comic strip]]!
100	->'''Proto Man:''' Oh, so ''you're'' the hack to blame for this mess.
101	-->-- ''Webcomic/BobAndGeorge'' [[http://bobandgeorge.com/archives/000502 #32, "Play the Blame Game"]]
102
103	->'''Diabel:''' ''So as you enter the Boss Room, [[ThePawnsGoFirst he's going to throw wave-after-wave of disposable minions at you.]] And [[WaitWhat you must answer in kind?]]''\
104	'''Kirito:''' uh, what?\
105	'''Diabel:''' ''...Send the Weaker Players first. Good rule-of-thumb, if a Player asks you for Gold 2-seconds after meeting you: Front Lines...''\
106	'''Kibao:''' HA! Serves 'em right!\
107	'''Diabel:''' ''...If they hijack conversations to rant about their political views: Front Lines...''\
108	'''Kibao:''' [[OhCrap Oh shit...]]\
109	'''Diabel:''' ''...If they ask [[GamerChick Female Players]] for pics of their boobs: Front Lines.''\
110	'''Male Gamers:''' [[AllMenArePerverts "Oh BULLSHIT!" "That's Discrimination!" "BOO!"]]\
111	'''Diabel:''' Now-now people, I believe there are some valid points being made here. Now, it goes on to say ''When Illfang's Health goes into the Red, [[SequentialBoss he's going to switch from his Axe-and-Buckler to something called a Talwar]]. At that point we should initiate a strategy called [[FinalSolution "The Final Solution"]] and-'' '''I'm just gonna stop reading!''' Jesus, who wrote this thing?
112	-->-- '''Diabel reading the Strategy Guide''', ''WebVideo/SwordArtOnlineAbridged''
113
114	->'''Ansem, Seeker of Darkness:''' [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment Darkness within darkness awaits you, Riku.]]\
115	(Music cuts out)\
116	'''Ansem, Seeker of Darkness:''' Okay, time out! Who the hell wrote this script? I mean, really? "Darkness within darkness"? Darkness within freaking darkness?!\
117	'''Just a Pancake:''' Stop complaining and continue with the script.\
118	'''Ansem, Seeker of Darkness:''' I don't get paid enough for this crap.
119	-->--''WebVideo/KingdomHeartsInANutshell'', taking the piss out of the [[{{Narm}} infamous]] [[VideoGame/KingdomHearts3DDreamDropDistance "Darkness within darkness"]] line.
120
121	->'''Boo:''' I wanted nothing more than to strangle this degenerate. Who was this disgraceful dinner? [greenscreen cuts out] Hold up! Cut!\
122	'''Koopa:''' You can't cut during a story!\
123	'''Boo:''' Dinner?! It's supposed to read "''sinner''"! "Who was this disgraceful ''sinner''?" Who even prints these books?!\
124	'''Koopa:''' Beats me!
125	-->--''WebVideo/StacheBros'', "Boo's Death Sentence"
126
127	->'''Robotnik''': WHAT KIND OF POOP IS THIS?!
128	->'''Scratch''': This?
129	->'''Robotnik''': THIS!
130	->'''Scratch''': This?
131	->'''Robotnik''': Yet again...'''''T H I S ! !'''''
132	-->-- '''Creator/{{Iteachvader}}''', ''[[YouTubePoop Robotnik Acquires a Restaurant Chain]]''
133
134	->How to write like me:\
135	1 - Write whatever comes naturally.\
136	2 - Nitpick the heck out of it.\
137	3 - Victory dance.
138	-->-- '''Dan''', ''Webcomic/ElGoonishShive''
139
140	->''"…Is this fanfiction?"''
141	-->-- '''Boomstick's''' overall opinion on ''VideoGame/DragonBallHeroes'', ''WebAnimation/DeathBattle''
142
143	->''"Who wrote this shit?"''
144	-->-- '''[[LemonyNarrator Narrator]]''', ''Anime/PantyAndStockingWithGarterbelt''
145
146	->'''Fubuki:''' giggles\
147	'''Iroha:''' What the heck?\
148	'''Noel:''' Who wrote this?\
149	'''Lamy:''' Ugh. This is so stupid.
150	-->-- ''WebAnimation/{{hololive}}'', "[Overkill] What Happens If We Record with a Strange Script"
151
152	->'''Angel Dust:''' "I am a bad man who never got enough hugs. Where's an innocent kid I can sell crack to?" ''Who wrote this?!''
153	->'''Charlie Morningstar:''' It's great, right? Keep going.
154	-->-- ''WesternAnimation/HazbinHotel'', "[[Recap/HazbinHotelS1E2RadioKilledTheVideoStar Radio Killed the Video Star]]"

Context Quotes / WhoWritesThisCrap