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1[[AC:{{Anime}} and {{Manga}}]]
2
3->I can only make Japanese snacks. I am a bullshit magician.
4-->-- '''Junichi''', in the ''VisualNovel/DaCapo'' Visual Novel.
5
6[[AC:ComicBooks]]
7
8->It's ''useless,'' that's what it is! Ma-Ti is the weakest one of all! Haw haw haw!
9-->-- '''Wheeler''' answering himself [[LampshadeHanging asking the trope name]] in issue #3 of the ''WesternAnimation/{{Captain Planet|and the Planeteers}}'' ComicBook
10
11->You see, I come from the planet Bismoll! Gradually, over a period of eons, microbes made all food there poisonous... Just as gradually, evolution transformed my race so we could eat anything without being harmed! I know what's on your mind! You're thinking!... "So he's an unusual freak! So what? That doesn't qualify him for Legion membership!" But you're wrong-- No matter where or how a foe ever imprisons us, I could always eat our way to freedom!
12-->-- '''Matter-Eater Lad''', ''ComicBook/LegionOfSuperHeroes''
13
14[[AC:FanWorks]]
15->"You make people happy. That's your superpower."\
16"Really? Gosh. That seems kind of cheesy," laughed [[WesternAnimation/SpongeBobSquarePants SpongeBob]].\
17"What do you mean?" scowled Barnacle Boy, standing up straight and placing his hands on his hips indignantly. "I thought you of all people appreciated the power of friendship."\
18"Oh, I do," assured [=SpongeBob=], "It's just... that's not a real superpower. I can't make water balls or assemble the creatures of the deep."
19-->-- ''Fanfic/MortalMan''
20
21->ComicBook/{{Supergirl}} rarely used the power of super-hypnotism. It was more of a skill, developed by Franchise/{{Superman}}’s teaching and reinforced by her super-brain and super-vision. Now, she decided it was time to give it a try.
22-->-- ''Fanfic/HellsisterTrilogy''
23
24->'''Dumbledore:''' ... The spell we know as love.\
25'''Harry:''' ''Lame!''
26-->-- ''WebVideo/PotterPuppetPals''
27
28->Mister Midnight and Midnight Maid reached in their belt-pouches and came up with weapons. Chuck's was the blackout device, Joyce held the Torch. She activated hers a second before his and blasted the Poet's eyes with a ray of intense brightness. A second later, Chuck's gimmick projected a cone of blackness, engulfing their foe.\
29"Confound it!" griped the Poet, floundering about. "They didn't give me a power to deal with this!"
30-->-- ''Fanfic/HereThereBeMonsters''
31
32[[AC:{{Film}} -- Live-action]]
33
34->'''Chicken''': You know the chickens are always ready to help you any way we can. But as you know...\
35'''Squeezit''': What can chickens do?\
36'''Chicken''': Precisely.
37-->--''Film/ForbiddenZone''
38
39->'''Dulcea''': Adam... Adam, what's wrong?\
40'''Adam''': ''[disappointed]'' I'm a ''frog''.
41-->--''Film/MightyMorphinPowerRangers''
42
43->The city is flying, we're fighting an army of robots, and I have a bow and arrow.
44-->-- '''Hawkeye''', ''Film/AvengersAgeOfUltron''
45
46[[AC:{{Literature}}]]
47
48->I couldn't believe it when I figured out your powers. I mean, could they be any more pathetic?
49-->-- '''Yana Savari''', ''Literature/{{Fingerprints}}''
50
51->It was a bit of an anticlimax. You couldn't call it sexy, exactly. Not breaking new ground, so much. He wouldn't be striding between dimensions, or calling down thunderbolts, or manifesting patroni, not on the strength of ''repair of small objects.'' Life was briskly and efficiently stripping Quentin of his last delusions about himself, one by one, shucking them off in firm, hard jerks like wet clothes, leaving him naked and shivering.
52->But it wasn't going to kill him. [[BoringButPractical It wasn't sexy, but it was real, and that was what mattered now]].
53-->--''[[Literature/TheMagicians The Magician's Land]]''
54
55[[AC:{{Series}}]]
56
57->'''Marina Sirtis''': I can't watch my performance in the pilot.\
58'''Creator/WilWheaton''': But you're ''feeling so much pain!''\
59'''Sirtis''': (This is how they mock me.)\
60'''[=LeVar Burton=]''': ''And sadness!''
61-->--''Series/StarTrekTheNextGeneration'', 25 Anniversary panel
62
63->Who looks at a ''screwdriver'' and thinks, "Ooohh, this could be a little more ''sonic''"?
64-->-- '''Jack Harkess''', ''Series/DoctorWho'' [[{{Recap/DoctorWhoS27E10TheDoctorDances}} "The Doctor Dances"]]
65
66->She has the power to turn people ''bald''?! That is ''rubbish'' - (points around dramatically) Bald! Bald! Bald!
67-->-- '''Nathan''', ''Series/{{Misfits}}''
68
69[[AC:{{Music}}]]
70
71->My power is so ridiculous.
72-->--[[VideoGame/MegaMan2 Bubble Man]], ''[[Music/TheMegas Promise of Redemption]]''
73
74[[AC:VideoGames]]
75
76->Your superpower, Create Organizational Carts, makes you a born leader of superheroes.
77-->--Dossier on [[BadassBureaucrat The Crimson Tape]], ''VideoGame/SuperheroLeagueOfHoboken''
78
79
80[[AC:WebAnimation]]
81
82->Hey, wait a minute. Killing someone from long distance while making a loud noise? Isn't that the exact same power as a '''man with a gun'''?
83-->-- '''''{{WebAnimation/Zero Punctuation}}''''', ''{{VideoGame/Dark}}''
84
85[[AC:WebComics]]
86
87->'''Andrew Hussie''': [Doze] is slow.\
88'''Caliborn''': THAT'S A HORRIBLE POWER.\
89'''Caliborn''': HOW IS THAT EVEN A POWER.\
90'''Andrew Hussie''': It just is.
91-->--''Webcomic/{{Homestuck}}''
92
93->'''Octopus''': The Pain. His special ability was [[BeeBeeGun being covered in bees]].\
94'''Wolf''': Zat's a special ability?\
95'''Octopus''': ''I'' sure can't do it.
96-->--''Webcomic/TheLastDaysOfFOXHOUND''
97
98[[AC:WebOriginal]]
99
100->Killing [[VideoGame/MegaMan3 Top Man]] was the key to getting Mega Man's most useless Power-Up. The Top Spin took away all the barriers we'd put up between video games and [[OverlyNarrowSuperlative figure skating]].
101-->--'''Creator/{{Seanbaby}}'''
102
103->Look, we've all heard the constant jokes about how ComicBook/{{Aquaman}} sucks because he talks to fish lol, and I will 100% agree with you that they are [[NeverHeardThatOneBefore terrible, lazy gags that have been beaten so far into the ground over the past three decades that I'm amazed nobody struck oil.]] Worse, they became [[DeadHorseTrope a shorthand for superheroes as a whole]], so that anyone who wanted to look down on the entire genre of superhero comics -- and frequently the entire medium -- could smirk their way through repeating them ad infinitum... But the thing is, they're not exactly crafted from whole cloth. The thing that really makes them sting, that made them the ultimate superhero reader put-down for so long, and the thing that Aquaman's ardent defenders don't want to admit is that they're true.
104-->-- '''Chris Sims''', [[http://comicsalliance.com/ask-chris-137-aquaman-super-friends-justice-league/ "Aquaman is Basically Terrible"]]
105
106->You have to give the creators of the newspaper ''Spider-Man'' credit for always exploring new frontiers of total lameness on the part of their characters. In one corner, we have Big Time, a criminal mastermind [[ClockKing so committed to his laughable clock theme]] that he has some sort of clock-shaped pop-gun that spits out its minute hand as ammunition and is thus presumably useless after two shots; and in the other, we have the Amazing Spider-Man, who boasts of his 'spider reflexes,' which will help him dodge a projectile that hasn’t managed to cover about three feet of space in the time its taken him to thought-balloon a sentence and a half — only to have said reflexes completely disabled by ''a loud noise''. Determining the winner in this battle will be like a philosophical conundrum: can an object with no mass be moved by an infinitely weak force?
107-->--'''''Blog/TheComicsCurmudgeon''''' [[http://joshreads.com/?p=1771 on]] ''ComicStrip/TheAmazingSpiderMan''
108
109->Magneto finally realizes that it was Cortez who launched the missile, trying to provoke Magneto into wiping out humanity. Magneto confronts him, but it turns out that he’s grown dependent on Cortez’s powers, which are… uh… hang on… 'the ability to bolster another mutant’s power.' So he’s basically the s**tty class in an {{MMORPG}}. No wonder he’s so mad all the time.
110-->--The ''WesternAnimation/XMenTheAnimatedSeries'' Episode Guide, [[http://comicsalliance.com/the-x-men-episode-guide-4x06-sanctuary-part-1-animated-series/ "Sanctuary, Part 1"]]
111
112->So... basically, Ed's miracle machine turns people into salivating morons who think they're seeing floating fish. You know, Ed, you could have saved yourself a lot of time and effort and just given him a dose of LSD.
113-->--'''''Website/TheAgonyBooth''''' on ''Film/BatmanForever''
114
115->Meanwhile, the Jackal's [[VillainTeamUp recruitment drive continues]], this time hooking up with the Tarantula, a South American assassin with -- get this -- pointy shoes which he uses to stun or drug his enemies by kicking them. He's actually cooler than he sounds, but not by much.
116-->--'''''[[http://asitecalledfred.com/comics101/69.html Comics 101]]''''' on ''ComicBook/TheCloneSaga''
117
118->Despite a range of powers that extend to "bright lights that can hurt a bit," [[ComicBook/XMen Jubilee]] has been in every group and series with an "X" in the title except [=XXXtube=] (give it time)... They've tried for years to make her kick ass, equipping her with everything from graviton gloves through Pym Particles to antigravity plates. They even -- no shit -- turned her into a vampire, going so far as to transfuse her with Wolverine's blood. They even got rid of her stupid original powers, but it's a lost cause: If traumatic orphanization doesn't make you kick ass at fighting crime, nothing will. (Her main function is now as a living museum of the superheroic fashion mistakes.)
119-->-- '''''{{Website/Cracked}}''''', "[[http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-8-worst-x-men-ever_p2/#ixzz2akxjJ4VT The 8 Worst X-Men Ever]]"
120
121[[AC:WebVideo]]
122
123->''A handful of swords in ''[[Literature/TheLordOfTheRings Lord of the Rings]]''\
124Orcrist, Sting and lovely Glamdring\
125Magical blades that it was soon found\
126Would glow a bit blue when orcs were around\
127One wonders [[FridgeLogic if it's that useful a feature]]\
128'Cause orcs [[FailedASpotCheck aren't really the subtlest creature]]\
129Would your sword really spot them before ''you'' do?\
130Whatever, it's also a thing that glows blue''
131-->--'''Creator/BenCroshaw''', [[http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/jim-yahtzees-rhymedown-spectacular/8697-Glow-Blue "Glow Blue"]]
132
133->At my most bad-ass, I make people feel like they want to take a shower.
134-->-- '''Moist''' on his 'super power', ''WebVideo/DoctorHorriblesSingAlongBlog''
135
136->I'm just trying to figure out what I can do with a man whose weakness is [[WeaksauceWeakness room temperature.]]
137-->--'''[[{{ComicBook/XMen}} Xavier]]''' fires Iceman, ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Df87Ip_NXq8 The Pete Holmes Show]]''
138
139->[[CallingYourAttacks Useless Attack Blast!]]
140-->'''Sailor Mercury''', ''WebVideo/SailorMoonAbridged''
141
142->He has the power to look like he's in the "Take On Me" music video and that is scary.
143-->--'''Creator/JimSterling''' on [[Film/DoubleDragon1994 Koga Shuko]]
144
145->IS IT POSSIBLE THAT YOU SAVED YOUR RECEIPT FROM THIS TRANSACTION? PLEASE IMMEDIATELY RETURN YOUR VAMPIRISM BECAUSE THAT IS THE WORST SUPERPOWER OF ALL FUCKING TIME.
146-->-- ''Blog/MarkReadsTwilight''
147
148->And he's got all sorts of other spells, but I seriously doubt the tickle charm is gonna help him much in the fight, so let's move on.
149-->--''WebAnimation/DeathBattle[[http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=lRLuPHvF6Fo : Luke Skywalker VS Harry Potter]]''
150
151->That kid got fuckin' screwed. That's not a power...Here's all my friends with these tangible cool fuckin' powers, and I get 'Heart'!" ''FUCK'' YOU!
152-->--'''Jenna Marbles''' on [[http://youtu.be/ROZjaxT_0Hw?t=2m45s What Kid Shows Taught Me]]'''
153
154->'''Dumbledore:''' ... The spell we know as love.\
155'''Harry:''' ''Lame!''
156-->-- ''WebVideo/PotterPuppetPals''
157
158[[AC:WesternAnimation]]
159
160->And Meltman! With the power to... ''(DramaticPause)'' '''''[[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin MELT]]!'''''
161-->-- ''WesternAnimation/ActionLeagueNOW!''
162
163->'''Wonderheart Bear''': I have this crummy old heart. It could be anything.
164-->--''[[WesternAnimation/CareBearsWelcomeToCareALot Care Bears: Welcome to Care-a-Lot]]'', "In a Flash"
165
166->'''ComicBook/{{Aquaman}}:''' My ability to speak with fish is of no help, Wonder Woman!\
167'''Franchise/WonderWoman:''' (''rolls eyes'')
168-->-- Creator/CartoonNetwork short [[CrossOver crossing over]] ''WesternAnimation/{{Superfriends}}'' and ''WesternAnimation/ThePowerpuffGirls''
169
170->'''Super Sam:''' Anti Timmy Force Four? Sounds villainous to me.\
171'''Wet Willie:''' Please tell me they're near a coastline.\
172'''Dark Mark:''' This Anti Timmy Force Four must be plotting to take over this galaxy. We must crush them!\
173'''Wet Willie:''' -or pool? Perhaps a fountain?\
174'''Timmy:''' What? No! They were my friends!\
175'''Joan Jet:''' That's what they wanted you to think.\
176'''Dark Mark:''' I'll press these randomly beeping and colorful buttons to track down their exact location. (presses buttons)\
177'''Wet Willie:''' A tub? A damp sponge? Throw me a bone, will you? A wet bone.
178-->-- ''WesternAnimation/TheFairlyOddParents'', "Power Pals"
179
180->Maybe we should've given you a better super-power...
181-->-- ''WesternAnimation/SpongebobSquarepants'', regarding Patrick's ice cream-based powers, ''WesternAnimation/TheSpongebobMovieSpongeOutOfWater''
182
183->''[[BigBad/WesternAnimation Zarm]] forces the Planeteers to have individual uneven "battles" against him.''\
184'''Ma-Ti:''' (''bursting into tears'') I cannot stop you, Zarm. My ring is the power of Heart, which allows us to love. Heart to care for our planet and friends. My ring will not touch ''you'' because... you have no heart!\
185'''Zarm:''' (''laughing mockingly'') You fool! It's Heart that makes you ''weak''! So prepare yourself, weakling. (''gets ready to kill Ma-Ti'')
186-->-- ''WesternAnimation/CaptainPlanetAndThePlaneteers'', "Summit to Save Earth, Part II". [[spoiler:Don't worry, the cavalry arrives just in time.]]
187
188->'''Zan:''' Wait a minute, how come I always change into something lame like ice? I'm always a wave or a puddle?
189->'''Jayna:''' I don't know, Zan. This isn't the time or the place to get into this.
190->'''Zan:''' Well when are we gonna talk about it?! What kind of superpower do I ''really'' have?! I mean, when you get right down to it--!
191->'''Jayna:''' Zan, relax!
192->'''Zan:''' I can be beaten by a ''sponge''! It wouldn't even have to be an ''evil'' sponge!
193->'''Jayna:''' ''Just drop it, Zan!''
194->'''Zan:''' I'm serious!
195-->--'''The ComicBook/WonderTwins''' in a Creator/CartoonNetwork editorial spot
196
197->Astral Projection? [[AnimateInanimateObject "Motion for the Motionless"]]? ''Yin-Yang''? Aww, how come I get all the loser powers?
198-->-- '''Finn''', ''WesternAnimation/JackieChanAdventures''
199
200->''"Now I talk to onions!\
201Yes the onions hear me when I speak!\
202I guess to be truthful\
203It’s not all that useful\
204But at least I can say I'm unique!"''
205-->--'''La Cebolla''' during her VillainSong, ''WesternAnimation/HamsterAndGretel''
206
207->'''Announcer:''' And Super Bunny, with the power of heart!\
208'''Bunny''': Laaa! ''(creates a heart shape, then)'' ...Whatever that means!
209-->-- ''WesternAnimation/ThePatrickStarShow'', "[[Recap/ThePatrickStarShowS2E2SuperStarsNowMuseumNowYouDont Super Stars]]"
210

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