Line #52 Quotes/UnusualEuphemism


1	->''"I apprehended the accused and advised him of his rights. He replied, 'Why don't you ram it up your pimhole, you fusking clothprunker.'"''
2	-->-- ''Series/ABitOfFryAndLaurie''
3
4	->''This game made me realize that the plot of many Mario games can be enlivened somewhat by assuming that 'cake' is the Mushroom Kingdom word for 'sex'. The Princess invites Mario over for some... 'cake', but Bowser kidnaps her so she can make some... 'cake' for him, instead. (Only now he's five hundred feet tall and emperor of the universe, so she'd better make sure her... 'cake' [[GagPenis is spread quite wide.]]"
5	-->-- '''''WebAnimation/ZeroPunctuation''''', ''VideoGame/SuperMarioGalaxy2''
6
7	->'''Laura:''' And now it's time to play the recurring ''ComicBook/BatmanOdyssey'' game that I like to call Decipher This Series of Words: "BLAST YOU BOY, you scared the string out of my knees!" ...I just Googled the phrase "scared the string out of my knees," and it appears no one has ever said it outside of this comic, right now. Oh wait, I stand corrected: It was also used one time in Volume 1 [[QuirkyWork when Batman dropped LSD.]]\
8	'''David:''' It is literally not a figure of speech.
9	-->--'''Laura Hudson''' and '''David Wolfkin''', [[http://comicsalliance.com/batman-odyssey/ "The Complete and Utter Insanity of 'Batman: Odyssey'"]]
10
11	->''"Soon the primal fire began to burn in Lady Hookstraten's body. Her hips twitched and trembled as each...fireball from Oliver's powerful cannon erupted like molten lava into the quivering mouth of her ever-fluttering love purse."''
12	-->-- '''Steve Martin''', ''Film/TheLonelyGuy''
13
14	->''"Aw, cupcakes!"''
15	-->-- '''Murray''', ''VideoGame/Sly2BandOfThieves''
16
17	->''"MRIFK!"''
18	-->-- '''Grignr''', ''Literature/TheEyeOfArgon''
19
20	->'''Birger:''' Can I say dick in here?... Hello! Is one allowed to dick in here?!\
21	'''Behind the scenery:''' No!\
22	'''Birger:''' No? Well... Then I say '''synthesizer''' instead!
23	-->-- Birgers unintended joke, in ''Bakhalt''
24
25	->''"Sometimes I ride the goat while swabbing the deck, and that is'' [[LampshadeHanging not]] ''[[LampshadeHanging a euphemism for anything.]]"''
26	-->-- '''Sealand''', ''Webcomic/HetaliaAxisPowers''
27
28	->''"This froopin' WHOMPS!"''
29	-->-- '''T.J. Detweiler''', ''WesternAnimation/{{Recess}}''
30
31	->'''Finn:''' I'm gonna go MAN-HANDLE THOSE GUYS' BANANDLES!\
32	'''Jake:''' ''({{beat}})'' [[FlatWhat What?]]
33	-->-- ''WesternAnimation/AdventureTime'', "Conquest of Cuteness"
34
35	->''(Hugo has just told his father he's in love with [[DumbBlonde Alice]].)''\
36	'''Geraldine:''' So what did he say?\
37	'''Hugo:''' Well, I can't tell you what he actually said because, because you're the vicar. But let's say a certain word is represented by another word that, that sounds a little like that word, like, uh... like... "duck," for instance.\
38	''({{beat}})''\
39	'''Hugo:''' He asked me what the duck I was playing at. He said he didn't give a flying duck if I ducking loved Alice ducking Tinker, and if I ducking kissed her again, he'd make sure that I was well and truly ducked.\
40	'''Geraldine:''' Well, duck me.
41	-->-- ''Series/TheVicarOfDibley'', "Engagement"
42
43	->'''Tsunade:''' ''(Consulting Anko on her accidental pregnancy, which she's been insisting is just the flu.)'' "You don't have to stay sick with the flu." \
44	'''Anko:''' "I said not to say it. I'm …fine."\
45	'''Tsunade:''' "[[spoiler:Hiashi]] doesn't rule you, nor does he make decisions for you."\
46	'''Anko:''' "I know that. But it's my flu, and I'm …fine."\
47	'''Tsunade:''' "Are you going to let him have any say in this flu? Help raise the flu bug or anything?" \
48	'''Anko:''' [[LampshadeHanging "That's the silliest thing I ever heard. Raise a flu bug?]] [[HypocriticalHumor Don't you think you're carrying this a bit far?"]]
49	-->-- "[[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3734110/1/Marry_My_Father_Please Marry My Father Please?]]"
50
51	->'''Joel:''' "Holy crap! You weren't supposed to...''count the sheep'' with her."\
52	'''Phil:''' [[LampshadeHanging "You call sex 'counting the sheep'?"]]\
53	'''Joel:''' "I call everything that. Including people. Sheep."
54	-->-- ''WebAnimation/BonusStage''
55
56	->"I just got such a thrill out of it because it's always been a fantasy of mine to go camping [[ThreeWaySex with two men]]. So I said it was my Jules et Jim" fantasy".
57	-->-- Dana Delany [[http:tv.co.nz/dana-delany-jules-et-jim-2732749 quoted in]] ''Dana Delany on "Jules et Jim"''
58
59	->Anything can be charming with the right choice of words.
60	->'''Woman:''' Oop! I've had a few too many whiskeys. Time to play mama bird to the toilet!
61	-->-- [[http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?id=3760 Life tips]] from ''Webcomic/SaturdayMorningBreakfastCereal''
62
63	->'''Shinji''':''“Do you think we’ll be able to keep it quiet enough in here? The walls are thicker than at home, but not soundproof.”''\
64	'''Asuka''':''“I’m very well motivated to be quiet right now, Shinji, because I really want this to happen. Now get your ‘Positron Rifle’ into ‘firing position’, quickly.”''\
65	'''Shinji''':''“You say the most sensual things, liebchen,”''\
66	'''Asuka''':''“Shut up and kiss me.”''
67	-->--''Fanfic/AdviceAndTrust'', ''[[http://forums.sufficientvelocity.com/threads/advice-and-trust-nge.8768/page-34#post-2320751 chapter 5]]''
68
69	->"After some silent voting, we decided that Davis Mipper was definitely the worst artist, so we drained all of his vein paint and spread it on the wall with our fingers. But I wasn’t satisfied with just that garish red, so we ground up his bones and made it into a really pretty pastel pink."
70	-->--'''Hailey Solomanari''', ''Podcast/KakosIndustries''
71
72	->'''Paula:''' Cookie, I am all for you getting your butterfly smashed.\
73	'''Rebecca:''' Listen, ''nobody'' is smashing my butterfly.\
74	[jump cut to:]\
75	'''Rebecca:''' Do it, Greg, smash my butterfly!\
76	'''Greg:''' What?
77	-->--"Why Is Josh in a Bad Mood?", ''Series/CrazyExGirlfriend''
78
79	->"When you poured the Bisquick, did you mean to make pancakes?"
80	-->--'''Abraham''' on how Glenn and Maggie conceived a child, ''Series/TheWalkingDead''
81
82	->'''Smithy''': Do you want that corn on the cob?\
83	'''Nessa''': Is that a euphemism?
84	-->--''Series/GavinAndStacey''
85
86	->'''Ieyasu:''' ...Mitsunari, there are things that are and aren't okay to ask. Nobunaga was exploring the hills, trimming hedges, while [female player character's name] took care of any uppity snakes.\
87	'''Mitsunari:''' [[ComicallyMissingThePoint That sounds so dangerous. Why didn't they ask someone else to do it for them?]]
88	-->--''VisualNovel/IkemenSengoku''
89
90	->'''Captain Fancey:''' It appears he has a curious marking on his...if you'll pardon the expression, Reverend...on his diddler!
91	->'''Reverend Flasher:''' His diddler? I don't know what that is.
92	->'''Captain Fancey:''' Oh, well perhaps a more familiar word would be... ''(whispers in ear to [[CensoredForComedy sound of accordion]])''
93	->'''Reverend Flasher:''' I fear that won't be of much use to you.
94	->'''Captain Fancey:''' Well why not?!
95	->'''Reverend Flasher:''' So many folk around here keep poultry, you see.
96	->'''Captain Fancey:''' I don't mean that kind of co--! Oh, this is very difficult...
97	->'''Sgt Strapp:''' If I may be permitted to speak. You see, what he means Rector is that he's got a birthmark on his..." ''(whispers in ear to sound of accordion)''
98	->'''Reverend Flasher:''' Aha! Now I have got it! But I honestly don't think that Jack the woodcutter...
99	->'''Captain Fancey:''' Jack the woodcutter?!!
100	->'''Reverend Flasher:''' Well he's the only one I know who has a chopper.
101	-->-- ''Film/CarryOnDick''
102
103	->''"Holy swearing cuss!"
104	-->-- '''Kylie''', ''WesternAnimation/FantasticMrFox''
105
106	->''"We all know that the alphabet has twenty-six letters (count 'em!). You can mix and match them to make many nouns and verbs. But if you say the wrong one to your mama, it may upset her. So in Bikini Bottom, we have a word that's preferred. We just say, 'Barnacles!': a word that's okay to scream, when you want to let off some steam, and say what you really mean. We just yell, 'Barnacles!' and go on our merry way. 'Barnacles' is the way we say what they say we can't say."''
107	-->-- ''WesternAnimation/SpongebobSquarepants'', sung by Spongebob himself in the song "Barnacles"
108
109	->''"We work for a few more hours and then we can go back to our room and count each other's spots."
110	-->-- '''Jadzia Dax''' (an alien with spots), ''Series/StarTrekDeepSpaceNine'', "Meridian"
111
112	->'''Laverne''': "A society gentleman would only go out with you for one reason: to have a good time, a few laughs, and a little vo-de-oh-dodo."
113	->'''Shirley''': "I don't vo-de-oh-dodo!"
114	->'''Laverne''': "You vo-de-oh-dodo!"
115	->'''Shirley''': "I ''don't'' vo-de-oh-dodo!"
116	->'''Laverne''': "You vo-de-''oh''!"
117	->'''Shirley''': "Once, and I was going steady for a whole year."
118	-->-- ''Series/LaverneAndShirley'', "The Society Party"
119
120	->''"His Defiant, with its thrusters, will explode in your wormhole, and he'll rub his trusty spangler wrench on your warp core manifold. His multiphasic torpedo will penetrate your rift, and cause a quantum singularity in your transwarp conduit."''
121	-->-- ''The Sexy'' ''[[Series/StarTrekTheNextGeneration Data]]'' ''Tango''
122
123	->'''Melena''': "Frankly, Frex doesn't expect a child of his to be interested in fun. Fun is counted for overmuch in this world, Nanny. I agree with him on that."
124	->'''Nanny''': "So, your dragon-snaking with Turtle Heart is what -- devotional exercises?"
125	-->-- ''Literature/{{Wicked}}''
126
127	-> [to Jimmy] ''I don't mind! Once, when I was seven years old I sat on a banana, and of course that changed my life.''
128	-->-- '''Hugh Neutron''', ''WesternAnimation/TheAdventuresOfJimmyNeutronBoyGenius
129
130	->''"Love hole? Is it really that hard to just use the proper words?!"''
131	-->-- '''Agent Charlotte Webb''', ''WebOriginal/TheProtectorsOfThePlotContinuum'', "A Matter of Perspective"
132
133	->'''Trixie:''' We need to talk about sex. When you take your clothes off, do you worry about them looking and seeing that fried chicken and jumping out of the window? Do you worry about them seeing the coq au vin and jumping out the fucking window?
134	->'''Katya:''' Last week's boeuf bourguignon.
135	->'''Trixie:''' Bend over and peeping that croque monsieur? Or that croque madame?
136	->'''Katya:''' Once they get a whiff of that bouillabaisse they're gonna hit the pork and say "no, no".
137	->'''Trixie:''' Once they get into that steak frites, sis, once they look up on that pomme de terre they're fucking out of here, bitch. Do you worry about the nudity?
138	-->''WebVideo/{{UNHhhh}}'', [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wqlZ0mLgDzk Disappointment]], the hosts getting distracted by describing privates as various items of French cuisine.
139
140	->'''Detective:''' He wants me to explain police procedure to you, boss.
141	->'''The Goose:''' Go ahead. I'd like to hear "piss off" explained in depth.
142	-->-- ''Series/{{Phoenix}}'', "Top Quality Crims"
143
144	->'''Maggie''': Diddler! You know what a "diddler" is, don't cha?
145	->'''Sergeant Strapp''': A "diddler" is a slang term... [Sergeant Strapp whispers in Captain Fancey's ear as an accordion plays]
146	->'''Captain Fancey''': Hoooo! ''Flap'' me sideways! I've never heard it called ''that'' before!
147	-->-- ''Film/CarryOnDick''
148
149	->''"Did the... did the [[FirstPeriodPanic red peony bloom]]?"''
150	-->-- '''Ming Lee''', ''WesternAnimation/TurningRed''
151
152	->''"Here; nice and snug, like a ferret in a cardboard tube."''
153	-->-- '''[[Anime/SmilePrecure Akaoni]]''', ''Fanfic/TwinklingInTheDark''

Context Quotes / UnusualEuphemism