Line #30 Quotes/TheComputerIsACheatingBastard


1	[[foldercontrol]]
2
3	[[folder:Film -- Live-Action]]
4	->'''Chess Wizard:''' [[AC:Your move: king to rook one. My move: rook to knight six. Checkmate. Checkmate.]]\
5	''[=MacReady=] [[RageQuit pours his drink into the computer tower]], frying it''\
6	'''[=MacReady=]:''' Cheating bitch.
7	-->-- ''Film/TheThing1982''
8	[[/folder]]
9
10	[[folder:Literature]]
11	->''The thing about video game basketball is that the computer decides whether or not the ball goes in when you shoot.''
12	-->--'''David Wong''', ''Literature/JohnDiesAtTheEnd''
13	[[/folder]]
14
15	[[folder:Video Games]]
16	->"You don't know how the intruders managed to get past your Zoltan Energy Shield!"
17	-->--'''''VideoGame/FTLFasterThanLight'''''[[note]]Only in the vanilla edition. In ''[[ExpansionPack Advanced Edition]]'', the game has the Zoltan Shield Bypass ship augment, which is explicitly mentioned when boarders slip past your supershield ''and'' which can you can equip on your ship, averting this trope.[[/note]]
18
19	->[[AC:Due to [[HandWave space treachery]], your enemy will always go first!]]
20	-->--'''''{{VideoGame/Calculords}}'''''
21
22	->''"Hmph... This game cheats! ...!!! I was shielding! SHIEEELDING!!! NO!!! I did NOT press that!"''
23	-->-- '''Unnamed Toad''', ''VideoGame/MarioAndLuigiSuperstarSaga''
24
25	->''"What, did you think I was just gonna stand there and take it?"''
26	-->-- [[spoiler:'''Sans''']], after dodging a strike from the player, ''Videogame/{{Undertale}}'' %%proper capitalization to avoid spoilers
27	[[/folder]]
28
29	[[folder:Web Animation]]
30	->"The player can't survive more than a measly handfuls of bullet ripping though their flesh, while the armored enemies can take so many rounds to the torso, you'd think there'd be nothing left but a spinal column and the Corn Flakes they had for breakfast. They can spot you in pitch darkness even with your flashlight off, and they can shoot you from halfway to Neverland because their guns have magic accuracy that evaporates the instant ''you'' get your hands on them."
31	-->--'''WebAnimation/ZeroPunctuation''', ''{{VideoGame/STALKER}}: Clear Sky''
32	[[/folder]]
33
34	[[folder:Web Original]]
35	->''Luke, for example, has a move where he throws his lightsaber at you. Not only does this move do about 75% of your life on hit, it’s also entirely unblockable. The AI can and will use this move against you if it has the meter to do so, and it doesn’t have to worry about trying to get in the half circle motion required to do it.''
36	-->--'''[[http://www.hardcoregaming101.net/kusoge/kusoge-teraskasi.htm Bobinator]]''' on ''VideoGame/StarWarsMastersOfTerasKasi''
37
38	->''Oh, and to add insult to injury, Seth is generally regarded as one of the [[CharacterTiers least effective player characters]] in the game. That's right: He's only awesome when he's computer-controlled. Because the computer is a cheap, cheating bastard.''
39	-->-- [[http://www.1up.com/do/feature?pager.offset=0&cId=3179548 Jeremy Parish]] on Seth from ''VideoGame/StreetFighterIV''
40
41	->Don't you know? 'CC' in Mario Kart refers to 'Cheating Capacity'. On 50cc, they have a much lower cheating capacity than on 150cc, where everyone but you is hacking to go max speed all the time.
42	-->--Post on VGF on the cheatsy AI in Mario Kart.
43	[[/folder]]
44
45	[[folder:Web Video]]
46	->"Tryin' to outrun these guys without steppin' in the holes is a pain in the ass...And how come ''they'' can pass over a hole and ''you'' can't? Yeah, yeah, go ahead! Pass over the hole again, yeah. ''Fuck'' you. [[YourMom I'm gonna pass over your mom's hole.]]"
47	-->--'''WebVideo/TheAngryVideoGameNerd''' on ''VideoGame/ETTheExtraTerrestrial''
48
49	->"Yeah, you know it's a ''Franchise/{{Pokemon}}'' LetsPlay if you get random criticals when you don't need them; your opponent gets them all the time at the most-crucial moments; you don't catch Pokémon when they're in perfectly-catchable ranges.
50	-->--'''{{LetsPlay/Chuggaaconroy}}''', ''LetsPlay [[VideoGame/PokemonGoldAndSilver Pokémon Crystal]] - [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rRjNVsWzzoc Part 3]]''
51
52	->"Even when you're spinning through the outer abysses of outer space, you still feel like an underdog despite being part of the big, bad Empire, and that's because the titular TIE fighter [[WhatAPieceOfJunk is a flimsy craft]]. One wrong decision, one stupid mistake, and a single collision or strafe shot can end a mission that has been building up for 10 minutes or more. You play by a [[OneHitPointWonder one-hit KO rule]], but your enemies sure ''don't!''"
53	-->--'''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n4-EnCc-JKk George Weidman]]''' on ''[[VideoGame/TIEFighter Star Wars: TIE Fighter]]''
54
55	->"''The Queen is a cheating whore!'' Seriously, I hate this fuckin' bitch! Kiss your cards goodbye, or be prepared to reload ''constantly'', because the Queen chooses her own rule. I mean, what kinda bullshit is that? Lady, [[Film/TheBigLebowski this isn't 'Nam, there are rules]]. Everyone's just gotta play along with your own creepy lil' world, here? Says ''who?'' Who says I can't just cave your head in with my gunblade and take your goddamn cards?"
56	-->--'''[[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment Noah Antwiler]]''' on ''VideoGame/FinalFantasyVIII''
57
58	->'''Gnu Gnu:''' Hi, there! Want to race me to my Food Shop? Last one there's a rotten egg!\
59	'''Noah:''' He used a teleporter? ''That cheating son of a bitch!'' I swear to God, if I ever play ''VideoGame/UltimaVII'' again I'm gonna track him down so I can go to the Forge of Virtue, take [[UnholyNuke the dark core of Exodus]] and send it to the void ''[[AssShove straight up this cocksucker's cheating ass!]]'' Who builds a teleporter to cheat at something this fucking petty?!
60	-->--'''[[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment Noah Antwiler]]''' on ''VideoGame/{{Ultima}}: Runes of Virtue''
61
62	->"How the hell do you have a Dragonite at Level 49, you hacker?! It evolves at 55! This guy...I swear, man, this guy hacks."
63	-->--'''{{LetsPlay/Haydunn}}''', in the [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1LlRdOFT6EQ Champion battle]] against Lance in his [[VideoGame/PokemonGoldAndSilver Pokemon Heart Gold]] Nuzlocke
64
65	->"It's cheating! The computer is cheating!"
66	-->--'''WebVideo/RosssGameDungeon'''
67	[[/folder]]
68
69	[[folder:Western Animation]]
70	->'''Bob''': Matrix! Help!\
71	'''Matrix''': I can't! The rules are clear!\
72	'''Bob''': You're a renegade! CHEAT!\
73	'''Matrix''': Oh, right. ''(cheats)''
74	-->--''WesternAnimation/{{ReBoot}}'', computer characters abusing the trope, again.
75	[[/folder]]

Context Quotes / TheComputerIsACheatingBastard