| 1 | ---- |
| 2 | !!Quotes |
| 3 | |
| 4 | [[foldercontrol]] |
| 5 | |
| 6 | [[folder:Anime and Manga]] |
| 7 | ->''"That really was long, wasn't it? Travelling 300 kilometres in 4 days.''" |
| 8 | -->-- '''Chisame Hasegawa''', ''Manga/NegimaMagisterNegiMagi'' |
| 9 | |
| 10 | ->''"Normally, those people would never wake up from their fantasy worlds. They live meaningless lives. They waste their precious days over nothing. No matter how old they get, they'll continue to say, "My real life hasn't started yet. The real me is still asleep, so that's why my life is such garbage." They continue to tell themselves that. They continue. And they age. Then die. And on their deathbeds, they will finally realize: the life they lived was the real thing. People don't live provisional lives, nor do they die provisional deaths. That's a simple fact! The problem... is whether they realize that simple fact."'' |
| 11 | -->-- ''{{Manga/Kaiji}}'' |
| 12 | |
| 13 | ->''"I have always fought for the nation. And for the De Sand family. And for... I have fought for you as well! However, just this one time, I wish to fight only for myself!"'' |
| 14 | -->-- '''George De Sand''', ''Anime/MobileFighterGGundam'' |
| 15 | |
| 16 | ->''"Fuck you! What does the fate of humanity have to do with the fate of my Balls?!"'' |
| 17 | -->-- '''Bandoh''', ''Manga/ElfenLied'' |
| 18 | |
| 19 | ->''"Love...ah, love, that magical spark between two people that you hope won't start a fire and burn them both to death."'' |
| 20 | -->-- '''Onizuka Eikichi''', ''Manga/GreatTeacherOnizuka'' |
| 21 | |
| 22 | ->''"This hand of mine glows with an aweomse power! Its burning grip tells me to defeat you! Take this! My love! My anger! And all of my sorrow! SHINIIIIING FINGEEERRRRR!!!"'' |
| 23 | -->-- '''Domon Kasshu''', ''Anime/MobileFighterGGundam'' |
| 24 | |
| 25 | ->''"Where is my enemy?\ |
| 26 | This is your enemy.\ |
| 27 | That is your enemy.\ |
| 28 | Do you not yet see?\ |
| 29 | Words from those who look without seeing.\ |
| 30 | Lazy...lazy...lazy...\ |
| 31 | You'll never meet your enemy.\ |
| 32 | You'll never really live.\ |
| 33 | My enemy is not to be sought, lest we find ourselves surrounded...\ |
| 34 | Is not to be awaited, lest it violate us.\ |
| 35 | No, but one day we will come upon each other.\ |
| 36 | And for that day, my claws, teeth, ears, hands, and feet are ready.\ |
| 37 | When i can call him enemy.\ |
| 38 | When i can call him my enemy.\ |
| 39 | I believe that chance will come."'' |
| 40 | -->-- '''Hiruken Emperor''', ''Anime/XamdLostMemories'' |
| 41 | |
| 42 | ->"May our Justice have the divine protection of the stars" |
| 43 | -->--'''ZAFT Mobile Suit Takeoff Announcer''' as the Justice Gundam launches for the first time, ''Anime/MobileSuitGundamSEED'' |
| 44 | |
| 45 | ->''"Mysteries are there to be '''solved'''! It'd spoil all the fun if someone were to give me the answer, you fool!"'' |
| 46 | -->-- '''Sherlock Holmes''', ''Manga/MoriartyThePatriot'' |
| 47 | [[/folder]] |
| 48 | |
| 49 | [[folder:Comedy]] |
| 50 | ->''"When you're born, you're pure, unspoiled, and trusting. Some say it's the only time we're perfect. You're also born covered in blood and placenta. Nobody gets nostalgic about that."'' |
| 51 | -->-- '''Creator/ChristopherTitus''' |
| 52 | |
| 53 | ->''"If you say a modern celebrity is an adulterer, a pervert and a drug addict, all it means is that you've read his autobiography."'' |
| 54 | -->-- '''P. J. O'Rourke''' |
| 55 | |
| 56 | ->''"Men have a certain body part that women do not have, and men always think jokes about it are a stone riot, but if you tell such a joke to a woman, she will look at you as though you are a Baggie filled with mouse remains. I don't know why this is, but it never fails."'' |
| 57 | -->-- '''Creator/DaveBarry''', "Why Humor is Funny" |
| 58 | |
| 59 | ->''"It is easier to find a traveling companion than it is to get rid of one."'' |
| 60 | -->-- '''Art Buchwald''' |
| 61 | |
| 62 | ->''"Money can't buy friends, but it can get you a better class of enemy."'' |
| 63 | -->-- '''Creator/SpikeMilligan''' |
| 64 | |
| 65 | ->''"We are accepting things that should not be accepted. The anti-depressent Paxil causes suicide in a lot of people. Yeah, let me say that again. The ''anti-depressant'' Paxil causes ''suicide'' in a lot of people. You think they could have spent ''another'' week on the formula. Yeah, you're going to kill yourself, but the suicide note is going to be inspirational!"'' |
| 66 | -->-- '''Christopher Titus''' |
| 67 | [[/folder]] |
| 68 | |
| 69 | [[folder:Comic Books]] |
| 70 | -> ''"Anyway, Henry Ford stole my idea and invented the car, did the movie ''Stagecoach'' and pardoned president Nixon... But I am getting ahead of my story."'' |
| 71 | -->-- ''ComicBook/TomorrowStories'' |
| 72 | |
| 73 | ->''"Yes, sir, I do, for the cover of a horror comic. A cover in bad taste, for example, might be defined as holding the head a little bit higher so that the neck could be seen dripping blood from it and moving the body over a little further so that the neck of the body could be seen to be bloody."'' |
| 74 | -->-- '''William M. Gaines''', Editor-in-Chief of Creator/ECComics, to Sen. Estes Kefauver, on his definition of "good taste" |
| 75 | |
| 76 | ->''"It has always been the prerogative of children and half-wits to point out that the emperor has no clothes. But the half-wit remains a half-wit, and the emperor remains an emperor."'' |
| 77 | -->-- '''Morpheus''', ''ComicBook/TheSandman1989'' #60, "The Kindly Ones: 4," by Neil Gaiman |
| 78 | |
| 79 | ->''"Look out with that grenade, Rebel!! Izzy's expendable, but those tanks cost money!"'' |
| 80 | -->-- '''ComicBook/NickFury''', ''ComicBook/SgtFuryAndHisHowlingCommandos #5'', "At the Mercy of Baron Strucker" by Creator/StanLee |
| 81 | |
| 82 | ->'''Leia (recording):''' Han. If you've received this message, I need your help. Adame and Selentia will give you the details. It's vital you hear them out.\ |
| 83 | '''Han:''' Help? Who does she think I--\ |
| 84 | '''Leia (recording):''' There's also a reward.\ |
| 85 | '''Han:''' I'm all ears.\ |
| 86 | '''Rebel agent:''' We want to use your ship.\ |
| 87 | '''Han:''' It was nice meeting you all. |
| 88 | -->-- ''ComicBook/StarWarsHanSolo'' by Marjorie Liu |
| 89 | |
| 90 | ->''"There have been many complaints about the effect films have on certain minds. Especially my films. But I have to ask, what kind of minds are they affecting? When ''Film/{{Psycho}}'' was made, a man was arrested in Los Angeles and confessed to killing three women. The last murder he committed he said was influenced by the fact that he had just seen ''Psycho''. So, of course, the papers came after me and asked for my comment. I said, 'What film did he see when he murdered the first two women?' It's the mind that is already sick that is affected by these things."'' |
| 91 | -->-- '''Creator/AlfredHitchcock''', ''Did You Hear What Eddie Gein Done?'' |
| 92 | [[/folder]] |
| 93 | |
| 94 | [[folder:Fan Fiction]] |
| 95 | ->''"Nothing is real, nothing, unless it's right there. Death in movies is all stuntmen and corn syrup blood. The bloodiest fistfights become Special Features on [=DVDs=], where actors giggle about how much fun it is to choreograph those kinds of scenes. Rape is a Creator/JodieFoster [[Film/TheAccused movie]]. Rape is Film/{{Deliverance}}, and squealing like a pig, and jokes about dropping the soap in the shower. And even when it's serious, it isn't real. It's not close enough to be real."'' |
| 96 | -->-- ''[[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7109340/3/The-Worst-That-Could-Happen The Worst That Could Happen]]'' |
| 97 | |
| 98 | ->''"I have read penguin [=AUs=], and I have read goldfish [=AUs=]. I've read fic for Minecraft and Minesweeper. I have read fics with Mary Sues, fics where characters fight Mary Sues to the death, fics where everyone ''is'' a Mary Sue, and fics where everyone is ''named'' Mary Sue. I have read more cat transformation fics than I will ever admit in public. I've read fic for shows I've never watched and written fics for shows I wished existed. I've shipped characters who aren't on the same mortal planes as each other, then read the fic where the mortal planes were shipped. I've read fics where everyone is a ship.\ |
| 99 | Yes ''absolutely'' I was going to read your bagel AU."'' |
| 100 | -->-- '''azhdarcho''', ''[[http://fanficrants.livejournal.com/11645694.html Fanfic Rants]]'' |
| 101 | |
| 102 | ->''Harry Potter gave a little shrug. His spoon dropped back into his cereal, and went on stirring without a pause. "Why does any kind of cynicism appeal to people? Because it seems like a mark of maturity, of sophistication, like you've seen everything and know better. Or because putting something down feels like pushing yourself up. Or they don't have a phoenix themselves, so their political instinct tells them there's no advantage to be gained from saying nice things about phoenixes. Or because being cynical feels like knowing a secret truth that common people don't know..." Harry Potter looked in the direction of the Head Table, and his voice dropped until it was almost a whisper. "I think maybe that's what ''he's'' getting wrong - that he's cynical about everything else, but not about cynicism itself."'' |
| 103 | -->-- ''Fanfic/HarryPotterAndTheMethodsOfRationality'' |
| 104 | |
| 105 | ->''"My story will have to be 'Harry heroically let the basilisk get within 200 feet of him and then sicked a rooster on it, killing it instantly,'" Ginny huffed, clearly very put out that nothing good was coming out of her kidnapping.\ |
| 106 | Harry and Lockhart exchanged glances.\ |
| 107 | "You ''do'' know that that's not what we're going to tell people, right?" Harry asked hesitantly.\ |
| 108 | Ginny blinked at him. "But…that's what happened," she said, as if that had anything to do with it.'' |
| 109 | -->-- ''Fanfic/OhGodNotAgain'' |
| 110 | [[/folder]] |
| 111 | |
| 112 | [[folder:Film]] |
| 113 | ->'''Dr. Bradley:''' Your reputation precedes you.\ |
| 114 | '''Elvira:''' Oh, damn. I hate when that happens |
| 115 | -->-- ''Film/ElvirasHauntedHills'' |
| 116 | |
| 117 | ->''"The people in this movie inhabit a universe of clean little 1940s bungalows with rose trellises, and there's a mean neighbor next door and some teenagers down the street who are always souping up their hot rod... This is the universe of those sweet, simple folks who live in TV soap ads. They mean well, poor souls, and they dress neatly and keep a cheery smile, but they must have been shortchanged in the smarts department because all they care about in this life is how white their whites get."'' |
| 118 | -->-- '''Creator/RogerEbert''', review of ''$1,000,000 Duck'' |
| 119 | |
| 120 | ->''"Fetishes are neither funny nor shocking simply because they exist. You have to do more with them than have characters gleefully celebrate them on the screen."'' |
| 121 | -->-- '''Creator/RogerEbert''', review of ''A Dirty Shame'' |
| 122 | |
| 123 | ->''"The number one metaphor I have in my mind for writing a screenplay is that...you're trying to climb a mountain blindfolded. And the funny thing about that is, you think, 'Okay, that's hard because you're climbing up a rock face, and you don't know where you're going, and you don't know where the top is, you can't see what's below you...' But actually the hardest part about climbing a mountain blindfolded is just finding the mountain."'' |
| 124 | -->-- '''Michael Arndt''' |
| 125 | |
| 126 | ->''"You have kept me at your beck and call for fifteen years. I shall never again do what you demand of me. By every rule of single combat, from this moment your life belongs to me. Is that not correct? Then I shall simply declare you dead. In all of your dealings with me, you'll do me the courtesy to conduct yourself as a dead man. I have submitted to your notions of honor long enough. You will now submit to mine."'' |
| 127 | -->-- '''Armand d'Hubert''', ''Film/TheDuellists'' |
| 128 | |
| 129 | ->''"I’m not sure I can buy destiny, free will ''and'' time travel all in the same story. Any two of the three, maybe."'' |
| 130 | -->-- '''Steven D. Greydanus''', [[http://www.ncregister.com/register_exclusives/a_magical_knife_turns_back_time_/ reviewing]] ''Film/PrinceOfPersiaTheSandsOfTime'' |
| 131 | |
| 132 | ->''"Liu, I hate this place. I'm telling you, I hate it. I'm in a hostile environment, I'm completely unprepared, and I'm surrounded by people who probably want to kick my ass. It's like being back in high school!"'' |
| 133 | -->-- '''Johnny Cage''', on Outworld in ''Film/MortalKombatTheMovie''. |
| 134 | |
| 135 | ->''"This we do for pleasure, so that we may shortly be at the mercy of venomous snakes and poisonous ants. How foolish can human creatures be."'' |
| 136 | -->-- '''Miss [=McCraw=]''', ''Film/PicnicAtHangingRock'' |
| 137 | |
| 138 | ->''"In Hollywood it's dog eat dog; it's worse than that, it's 'dog doesn't return other dog's phone calls.'"'' |
| 139 | -->-- '''Woody Allen''', ''Crimes and Misdemeanors'' |
| 140 | |
| 141 | ->''"Scared? You're talking to a man who laughs in the face of death, sneers at doom, and chuckles at catastrophe. I was petrified."'' |
| 142 | -->-- '''The Wizard''', ''Film/TheWizardOfOz'' |
| 143 | |
| 144 | ->''"Here: if you have a milkshake... and I have a milkshake... and I have a straw; there it is, that’s the straw, see? Watch it. My straw reaches ''across'' the room... and starts to drink your milkshake: I... drink... your... ''MILKSHAKE!'' ''[slurps]'' ''I DRINK IT UP!''"'' |
| 145 | -->-- '''Daniel Plainview''', ''Film/ThereWillBeBlood'' |
| 146 | |
| 147 | ->'''Milo Thatch''': Oh, my decision? I think we've seen how effective my decisions have been. Let's recap. I lead a band of plundering vandals to the greatest archaeological find in recorded history, thus enabling the kidnap and/or ''murder'' of the royal family, not to mention personally delivering the most powerful force known to man into the hands of a ''mercenary nutcase'' who's probably gonna sell it to the ''Kaiser! Have I left anything out?!'' |
| 148 | ->'''Dr. Sweet''': Well, you did set the camp on fire and drop us down that big hole. |
| 149 | ->'''Milo Thatch''': Thank you! Thank you very much! |
| 150 | -->-- ''WesternAnimation/AtlantisTheLostEmpire'' |
| 151 | |
| 152 | ->'''Dingo:''' Oh, wicked, bad, naughty, evil Zoot! She is a bad person and must pay the penalty! ...do you think this scene should have been cut? We were so worried when the boys were writing it, but now, we're glad. It's better than some of the previous scenes, I think. |
| 153 | ->'''Left Head:''' At least ours was better visually. |
| 154 | ->'''Dennis:''' Well, at least ours was committed, it wasn't just a string of pussy jokes. |
| 155 | ->'''Old Man:''' Get on with it! |
| 156 | ->'''Tim the Enchanter:''' Yes, get on with it! |
| 157 | ->'''Army of Knights:''' YES! GET ON WITH IT! |
| 158 | ->'''Dingo:''' I ''am'' enjoying this scene! |
| 159 | ->'''{{God}}:''' '''GET ''ON'' WITH IT!''' |
| 160 | -->-- ''Film/MontyPythonAndTheHolyGrail'' (not in the original theatrical cut) |
| 161 | |
| 162 | ->'''Sam''': Why do you consider me your enemy?\ |
| 163 | '''Redford''': Because your girlfriend stabbed me in the back with lefty scissors.\ |
| 164 | '''Sam''': She's my wife now.\ |
| 165 | '''Redford''': Congratulations.\ |
| 166 | '''Sam''': Thank you. But I'm saying before that, six weeks ago, from day one. Why didn't you like me?\ |
| 167 | '''Redford''': Why should I? Nobody else does. |
| 168 | -->--''Film/MoonriseKingdom'' |
| 169 | |
| 170 | ->'''Vito Corleone''': We've known each other many years, but this is the first time you ever came to me for counsel or for help. I can't remember the last time that you invited me to your house for a cup of coffee, even though my wife is godmother to your only child. But let's be frank here; you never wanted my friendship, and you were afraid to be in my debt.\ |
| 171 | '''Amerigo Bonasera''': I didn't want to get into trouble...\ |
| 172 | '''Corleone''': I understand. You found paradise in America. You had a good trade, you made a good living. The police protected you and there were courts of law. And you didn't need a friend like me. But now you come to me and you say, "''Don Corleone, give me justice!''" But you don't ask with respect. You don't offer friendship. You don't even think to call me Godfather. Instead, you come into my house on the day my daughter is to be married, and you ask me to do murder for money. |
| 173 | -->--''Film/TheGodfather'' |
| 174 | |
| 175 | ->''"You want to dance the mask, you must service the composer. You gotta sublimate yourself, your ego, and yes, your identity. You must, in fact, stand in front of the public and God and obliterate yourself."'' |
| 176 | -->-- '''Lydia Tár''', ''Film/{{Tar}}'' |
| 177 | |
| 178 | -> ''"It's not a world of spies anymore. Not even a world of heroes. This is the age of miracles, doctor. There is nothing more horrifying...than a miracle."'' |
| 179 | -->-- '''Baron Wolfgang von Strucker''', ''Film/CaptainAmericaTheWinterSoldier'' |
| 180 | [[/folder]] |
| 181 | |
| 182 | [[folder:Literature]] |
| 183 | |
| 184 | ->''"People don’t understand the word ''ruthless''. They think it means 'mean.' It’s not about being mean. It's about seeing the bright, clear line that leads from A to B. The line that goes from motive to means. Beginning to end. It's about seeing that bright, clear line and not caring about anything but the beautiful fact that you can see the solution. Not caring about anything else but the perfection of it."'' |
| 185 | -->-- '''Marco''', ''Literature/{{Animorphs}}'' |
| 186 | |
| 187 | ->''"Time is different here."''\ |
| 188 | ''"Ugh, really? The 'time moves differently in Hell' trope? Yawn."''\ |
| 189 | ''"What is a trope?"''\ |
| 190 | ''I took another sip and watched the employee working the ice cream stand, where the only flavor they had left was spumoni. "It's like a TV or movie cliché, I guess. Or a stereotype. It's something that, when you see it, you know exactly what that character or situation is going to be. Like the [[HotLibrarian sexy librarian]] trope."''\ |
| 191 | ''"But librarians ''are'' sexy."''\ |
| 192 | ''I waved that nonsense away. Despite (because of?) that particular trope, every librarian I'd ever seen had crow's-feet like canyons and wore thick support hose to control the varicose veins. "You’re a priest, what do you know?"''\ |
| 193 | ''Father Markus laughed so suddenly it was startling. "I suppose that’s my cue to say something like 'I'm a priest, not dead' except—"''\ |
| 194 | ''"You ''are'' dead!" I replied, giggling. Luckily the dead guy was also giggling, so it wasn't as insensitive as it could have been. "Okay, fine, you think librarians are sexy. How's this for another example . . . you're a trope."''\ |
| 195 | ''"But I'm not on television or in the movies."''\ |
| 196 | ''"Yes, but you're a symbol of organized religion in an unlikely place where I would not expect to find aid, and you're friendly and helpful."''\ |
| 197 | ''"That's a trope?"''\ |
| 198 | ''"Yeah, and it’s a boatload better than the [[SinisterMinister evil unhelpful priest]] trope."''\ |
| 199 | ''"There's an evil priest trope?" he repeated, horrified.''\ |
| 200 | ''"I think we’re losing focus."''\ |
| 201 | ''"That’s terrible!"'' |
| 202 | -->-- ''Literature/BetsyTheVampireQueen'' |
| 203 | |
| 204 | ->'''Skulduggery''': I was attacked by a shark once [...] Well, not so much a shark as a rather large fish. And not so much attacked as looked at menacingly. But it had murder in its eyes, that fish...\ |
| 205 | '''Valkyrie''': You went fishing, Skulduggery. That's not the same as being eaten by a shark. |
| 206 | -->-- ''Literature/SkulduggeryPleasant: Armageddon Outta Here'' |
| 207 | |
| 208 | ->''"Many man have tried the drug... so many, but none has succeeded."\ |
| 209 | "They tried and failed, all of them?"\ |
| 210 | "Oh, no." She shook her head. "They tried and died."'' |
| 211 | -->-- ''Literature/{{Dune}}'' |
| 212 | |
| 213 | ->''"We are the chorus, and we agree. We agree, we agree, we agree."'' |
| 214 | -->-- '''Chorus''', ''Literature/BoredOfTheRings'' |
| 215 | |
| 216 | ->'''Bill:''' So you think you’ve got us, hey? Think you’re pretty clever, hey? You’ll never press us into your damned navy.\ |
| 217 | '''Lemuel:''' Snappy riposte.\ |
| 218 | '''Captain:''' Devastating put-down.\ |
| 219 | '''Bill:''' What! I’m not good enough for the Royal Navy? I’ll have you know I was sailoring before you could walk, young fellow. Why, I can pull twice the weight of these young jackanapes here…\ |
| 220 | '''Officer:''' Well, if you’re anxious to join up, perhaps we could accommodate you. We can always use a few more powder monkeys. |
| 221 | -->-- ''Literature/TheInvasionOfSandyBay'', "Chapter 2" |
| 222 | |
| 223 | ->''"A package of banknotes, to the value of fifty-five thousand pounds, had been taken from the principal cashier's table, that functionary being at the moment engaged in registering the receipt of three shillings and sixpence. Of course he could not have his eyes everywhere."'' |
| 224 | -->-- ''Literature/AroundTheWorldInEightyDays'' |
| 225 | |
| 226 | ->''"It's a new disease, unknown to medical history, which I call 'the jumping-up-from-the-chair-and-screaming syndrome.'"'' |
| 227 | -->-- '''Tina''', ''The Mysterious Disappearance of Leon (I Mean Noel)'' |
| 228 | |
| 229 | ->''"Should one believe this? Of course. Did it actually happen? Of course not."'' |
| 230 | -->-- '''Creator/SidFleischman''', ''Escape!: The Story of The Great Houdini'' |
| 231 | |
| 232 | ->'''Pretty Butterfly''': But there are causes worth dying for!\ |
| 233 | '''Rincewind''': No there aren't! Because you only have one life, but you can pick up another five causes on any street corner!\ |
| 234 | '''Pretty Butterfly''': Good grief, how can you live with a philosophy like that?\ |
| 235 | '''Rincewind''': Continuously! |
| 236 | -->-- ''Literature/InterestingTimes'' |
| 237 | |
| 238 | ->''"Of course, ten is a heroic age for most kids. They remind me in many ways of the Homeric Greeks. They are quarrelsome and combative; they have a strong and touchy sense of honor; they believe that every affront must be repaid, and with interest; they are fiercely loyal to their friends, even though they may change friends often; they have little sense of fair play, and greatly admire cunning and trickery; they are both highly possessive and very generous-- no smallest trifle may be taken from them, but they are likely to give anything away if they feel so disposed."'' |
| 239 | -->-- '''John Holt''', ''How Children Fail'' |
| 240 | |
| 241 | ->''Odd that we don't do the same with lesser tragedies. You never hear, "My golf game has gone to ''prison''." Or, "This is an AIDS of a traffic jam."'' |
| 242 | -->-- '''Max Lucado''', on casual use of the word ''hell'', ''3:16--The Numbers of Hope'' |
| 243 | |
| 244 | ->''"Wickedness is a myth invented by good people to account for the curious attractiveness of others."'' |
| 245 | -->-- '''Creator/OscarWilde''' |
| 246 | |
| 247 | ->''"Human life is mainly a process of filling in time until the arrival of death or Santa Claus."'' |
| 248 | -->-- '''Eric Berne''', ''Games People Play'' |
| 249 | |
| 250 | ->''"Women, as some witty Frenchman once put it, inspire us with the desire to do masterpieces and always prevent us from carrying them out."'' |
| 251 | -->-- '''Creator/OscarWilde''' |
| 252 | |
| 253 | ->''"Some say the glass is half-full; some say the glass is half-empty; I say I will cut my lip on the glass and bleed to death."'' |
| 254 | -->-- '''Adam Cadre''', [[http://adamcadre.ac/calendar/12669.html reviewing ''City of Glass'']] |
| 255 | |
| 256 | ->''"I think I found an even stronger term for friendship than yours, 246, and I'll say it to you now: Supervisor 246, I was, am, and always will be, ''primus inter pares'', your friend, Tom."'' |
| 257 | -->-- '''Paul Robinson''', ''Literature/InstrumentOfGod'' |
| 258 | |
| 259 | ->''"[[CoolShip It was a warship]], after all. It was built, designed to [[BloodKnight glory in destruction]], [[SheatheYourSword when it was considered appropriate]]. It found, as it was rightly and properly supposed to, an awful beauty in both [[MoreDakka the weaponry of war]] and the violence and [[SceneryGorn devastation]] which that weaponry was capable of inflicting, and yet it knew that attractiveness [[CompensatingForSomething stemmed from a kind of insecurity, a sort of childishness]]."'' |
| 260 | -->-- Creator/IainBanks, ''{{Literature/Excession}}'' |
| 261 | |
| 262 | ->''"If you should be afflicted with a hump, for example, but firmly believe the Almighty somehow needs your hump to realize His Cosmic Design and that it was therefore ordained along with the rest of Creation, why, then you may be easily reconciled to your deformity. If, however, they tell you that it's merely the result of a misplaced molecule, an atom or two that happened to go the wrong way, then nothing remains for you but to bay at the moon."'' |
| 263 | -->-- '''Creator/StanislawLem''', ''Literature/TheCyberiad'' |
| 264 | |
| 265 | ->''"A great many rulers, good and bad and quite often dead, know what happened; a rare few actually manage, by dint of much effort, to know what's happening. [[TheChessmaster Lord]] [[MagnificentBastard Vetinari]] considered both types to lack ambition."'' |
| 266 | -->-- ''Literature/{{Discworld}}'' |
| 267 | |
| 268 | ->''"I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it."'' |
| 269 | -->-- '''Evelyn Beatrice Hall''', ''The Friends of Voltaire'' |
| 270 | |
| 271 | ->''"Remember that stories are more than just words, more than fairy tales. They are magic."'' |
| 272 | -->-- ''Valya Dudycz Lupescu'', "The Silence of Trees" |
| 273 | |
| 274 | ->''"You got to be asleep,” I said. “You got to be asleep when he comes. You can’t see him unless you’re unconscious."'' |
| 275 | -->-- '''Creator/JamesThurber''', "[[Literature/TwasTheNightBeforeChristmas A Visit from Saint Nicholas]] [[AC:[[InTheStyleOf In the]] Creator/ErnestHemingway [[InTheStyleOf Manner]]"]] |
| 276 | |
| 277 | ->''"Oh, yet we trust that somehow good\ |
| 278 | Will be the final goal of ill,\ |
| 279 | To pangs of nature, sins of will,\ |
| 280 | Defects of doubt, and taints of blood;''\ |
| 281 | |
| 282 | |
| 283 | ->''"That nothing walks with aimless feet;\ |
| 284 | That not one life shall be destroy'd,\ |
| 285 | Or cast as rubbish to the void,\ |
| 286 | When God hath made the pile complete;''\ |
| 287 | |
| 288 | |
| 289 | ->''"That not a worm is cloven in vain;\ |
| 290 | That not a moth with vain desire\ |
| 291 | Is shrivell'd in a fruitless fire,\ |
| 292 | Or but subserves another's gain."'' |
| 293 | -->-- '''Creator/AlfredLordTennyson''', ''In Memoriam'' |
| 294 | |
| 295 | ->''"He was ''raped''?" I gasped, horrified. "That same ''day''? Was it before or after I had sex with him?"'' |
| 296 | -->-- '''The Professor''', ''Gilligan's Wake'' (by Tom Carson) |
| 297 | |
| 298 | ->''"After careful research I have prepared an objective scholarly account of what happened. It all began with an angel..."'' |
| 299 | -->-- '''Ben Myers''''s summary of the ''[[Literature/TheFourGospels Book of Luke]]'' |
| 300 | |
| 301 | ->''"You are an interesting man. But it is not necessary to make yourself more interesting than you are. You have suffered the misfortune of losing your hands. You wear mechanical hands. Many men wounded in the war wear them. You wear contact lenses instead of spectacles. You use a walkie-talkie instead of a bell to summon your servant. No doubt you have other tricks. But, Doctor No, you are still a man who sleeps and eats and defecates like the rest of us. So no more conjuring tricks, please. [[ValuesDissonance I am not one of your guano diggers and I am not impressed by them.]]"'' |
| 302 | -->-- '''James Bond''', ''Literature/DrNo'' |
| 303 | |
| 304 | ->''Something clutched in Charlie's stomach, the reality that both Jason and Carlton might truly be in danger seizing her. It was not that she had forgotten, but while they were outside, trying to solve the puzzles, it was possible to gain some distance from what was happening.'' |
| 305 | -->-- ''Literature/FiveNightsAtFreddysTheSilverEyes'' |
| 306 | |
| 307 | ->''"If you can't say something nice about someone, you're not very good at the whole spying thing."'' |
| 308 | -->-- '''Oglavia Spüdna''', quoted in footnote #37 of ''Literature/AgathaHAndTheSiegeOfMechanicsburg'' |
| 309 | |
| 310 | [[/folder]] |
| 311 | |
| 312 | [[folder:Live-Action TV]] |
| 313 | |
| 314 | ->''"Isn't it amazing how you can make your point with a bit of fruit and a nice, big hammer?"'' |
| 315 | -->-- '''Adrian Edmondson''', ''Britain Beware'' |
| 316 | |
| 317 | ->'''Maid:''' The Queen is here, Your Majesty.\ |
| 318 | '''Queen Mary:''' Could you be more specific?\ |
| 319 | '''Maid:''' Ma'am?\ |
| 320 | '''Queen Mary:''' Which queen?\ |
| 321 | '''Maid:''' [[UsefulNotes/ElizabethII Queen Elizabeth]], ma'am.\ |
| 322 | '''Queen Mary:''' Which one? There are two.\ |
| 323 | '''Maid:''' The young one.\ |
| 324 | '''Queen Mary:''' Oh, ''the'' Queen.\ |
| 325 | '''Maid:''' I thought you was all queens, they gave me a sheet.\ |
| 326 | '''Queen Mary:''' We are. I was the queen so long as my husband the king was alive, but since he died I am no longer ''the'' Queen, I am simply Queen Mary. My late son's widow was also ''the'' Queen, but upon the death of her husband, she became Queen Elizabeth, the Queen Mother. Her daughter, Queen Elizabeth, is now queen, so she is...\ |
| 327 | '''Maid:''' ''The'' Queen.\ |
| 328 | '''Queen Mary:''' Bravo. |
| 329 | -->-- ''Series/TheCrown2016'', "[[Recap/TheCrownS1E4ActOfGod Act of God]]" |
| 330 | |
| 331 | ->'''Sebastian''': That man must have done some serious drugs in TheSixties. |
| 332 | ->'''Steve''': But we're alright now because he [[TropesOnAPlane flies]] for Jesus. |
| 333 | -->-- ''Series/TheHighLife'' |
| 334 | |
| 335 | ->'''Medieval Man''': I am feudal - I believe in doing what His Lordship tells me. |
| 336 | ->'''Renaissance Man''': I'm an optimist - I believe in progress. |
| 337 | ->'''Modern Man''': I'm New Labour, so I don't believe in anything. |
| 338 | -->-- ''2000 Today'' |
| 339 | |
| 340 | ->''"Tonight, The Great Train Robbery: London to Glasgow, £235 return."'' |
| 341 | -->-- '''Hugh Dennis''', ''Unlikely Lines to Hear on Crimewatch'', ''Series/MockTheWeek'' |
| 342 | |
| 343 | ->''"And it rained for forty days and forty nights, which was a surprise, because the Met Office had predicted a barbecue summer."'' |
| 344 | -->-- '''Andy Parsons''', ''Unlikely Lines to Read in the Bible'', ''Series/MockTheWeek'' |
| 345 | |
| 346 | ->''"Eggs, milk... pie. All the basic food groups."'' |
| 347 | -->-- '''Alton Brown''', Feasting on Asphalt |
| 348 | |
| 349 | ->''"Another way we can drive people away from the cinema is by showing you advertisements."'' |
| 350 | -->-- ''Series/MontyPythonsFlyingCircus'' (episode 13) |
| 351 | |
| 352 | ->''"If only we knew who 'They' were... And why 'They' were doing it.... Who ''are'' 'Them'?"'' |
| 353 | -->-- '''Charles''' (Graham Chapman), ''Series/MontyPythonsFlyingCircus'' (episode 7) |
| 354 | |
| 355 | ->''"Now I know it may seem like a monkey could do this job but it can't. True story."'' |
| 356 | -->-- '''Kenny Daley''', ''Series/{{Frasier}}'' |
| 357 | |
| 358 | ->'''Jimmy Carr:''' It's just so stupid, isn't it? Beating your wife, [[BlackComedy I mean, it's your wife. It's like keying your own car.]] |
| 359 | ->'''David Mitchell:''' Society just got a tiny bit worse. |
| 360 | ->'''Jimmy Carr:''' I like to think I can help. |
| 361 | -->-- ''Series/{{QI}}'' |
| 362 | |
| 363 | ->''"My God, newbie, it's been two furiously frustrating years. How is it possible that you still don't get me? I would never compare you to the gays. I like the gays. I like their music. I like their sense of style. I especially like what they've done with Halloween, but our thing is that you are a little girl. That's who you are."'' |
| 364 | -->-- '''Dr. Cox''', ''Series/{{Scrubs}}'' |
| 365 | |
| 366 | ->'''Cat:''' Don't you know what this place is?\ |
| 367 | '''Rimmer:''' Yes, it's a hell hole. It's a nightmare. It's a stinking infested pit of putridness.\ |
| 368 | '''Lister:''' Rimmer, ''it's your mind.''\ |
| 369 | -->--''Series/RedDwarf'', [[Recap/RedDwarfSeasonVTerrorform "Terrorform"]] |
| 370 | |
| 371 | ->'''Geoffrey''': Forget about perfection! There's nothing more boring than perfection. Imprecision. Fear. That's what gets them to their feet. |
| 372 | ->'''Jack''': Yeah? Well I should be brilliant, then. |
| 373 | -->--''Series/SlingsAndArrows'', "Playing the Swan" |
| 374 | |
| 375 | ->''"Of all the people to survive, he's not the one you would have chosen, is he? But if you could choose, Doctor, if you could decide who lives and who dies, that would make you a monster."'' |
| 376 | -->-- '''Mr. Copper''', ''Series/DoctorWho'', "[[Recap/DoctorWho2007CSVoyageOfTheDamned Voyage of the Damned]]" |
| 377 | |
| 378 | ->''"I don't like anyone to whom the adjective "maverick" might be applied. Cutter practically owns the copyrights."'' |
| 379 | -->-- '''James Lester''', ''{{Series/Primeval}}'', Episode 2. |
| 380 | |
| 381 | ->''"Don't forgive and never forget; Do unto others before they do unto you; and third and most importantly, keep your eye on your friends, because your enemies will take care of themselves."'' |
| 382 | -->-- '''JR Ewing''', ''Series/{{Dallas}}'' |
| 383 | |
| 384 | ->''"Of course. Now the groundbreaking 20/20 hindsight policy kicks into gear."'' |
| 385 | -->-- [[Franchise/{{Degrassi}} "Snake" Simpson]] |
| 386 | |
| 387 | ->''"The ultimate snowball is not a snowball at all, but fear. Merry Christmas."'' |
| 388 | -->-- '''Dwight Schrute''', ''Series/{{The Office|US}}'' |
| 389 | |
| 390 | ->''"It's not really a party until the bomb squad says it is."'' |
| 391 | -->-- '''Tony [=DiNozzo=]''', ''Series/{{NCIS}}'' |
| 392 | |
| 393 | ->''"In three words or less, what's a common criticism you have for others in the workplace?"\ |
| 394 | "I cannot stand it when people reduce complex ideas to some simplistic catchphrase."\ |
| 395 | "We can't accept that answer."\ |
| 396 | "Yes we can." |
| 397 | -->-- Late-2016 mock job interview between '''[[Creator/StephenColbert "Randy"]]''' and '''Barack Obama''', ''Series/TheLateShowWithStephenColbert'' |
| 398 | |
| 399 | ->''"I know writers who use subtext, and they're all cowards."'' |
| 400 | -->--'''Garth Marenghi''', ''Series/GarthMarenghisDarkplace'' |
| 401 | |
| 402 | ->'''Delenn:''' You can look up, Lennier of the Third Fane of Chudomo.\ |
| 403 | '''Lennier:''' It is forbidden.\ |
| 404 | '''Delenn:''' I can't have an aide who won't look up. You'll forever be walking into things. |
| 405 | -->-- ''Series/BabylonFive'' |
| 406 | [[/folder]] |
| 407 | |
| 408 | [[folder:Music]] |
| 409 | |
| 410 | ->''"This here song might offend you some\ |
| 411 | If it does it's because you're dumb"'' |
| 412 | -->-- '''Frank Zappa''', "Wind Up Workin' in a Gas Station" |
| 413 | |
| 414 | ->''"How do you get to Carnegie Hall? Practice. How do you get away from it? Improvise."'' |
| 415 | -->-- '''Mark Steyn''' |
| 416 | |
| 417 | ->''"Look out, honey, 'cause I'm using technology!"'' |
| 418 | -->-- '''Music/TheStooges''', "Search and Destroy" |
| 419 | |
| 420 | ->''"That's sad, that's right,\ |
| 421 | Another night\ |
| 422 | Of someone else's fantasy..."'' |
| 423 | -->-- '''The Levellers''', ''Fantasy'' |
| 424 | |
| 425 | ->''"Why, I don't even know what onomatopoeia is, or a trope!"'' |
| 426 | -->-- '''Lorenz Hart''', quoted in ''Take Them Up Tenderly'' by ''Margaret Case Harriman'' |
| 427 | |
| 428 | ->''"He must be a successful composer... a musician with quality"'' |
| 429 | ->''"Yes, one of them"'' |
| 430 | -->-- '''Music/LesLuthiers''' |
| 431 | |
| 432 | ->''"Either the writers [[DroppedABridgeOnHim lack of imagination]] or there is a surplus of the cast"'' |
| 433 | -->-- '''Music/LesLuthiers''' |
| 434 | |
| 435 | ->''"What does it matter to you?'' |
| 436 | ->''When you got a job to do'' |
| 437 | ->''You gotta do it well--'' |
| 438 | ->''You gotta give the other fella HELL!"'' |
| 439 | -->-- "Film/LiveAndLetDie," '''Music/PaulMcCartney and the Music/{{Wings|Band}}''' |
| 440 | |
| 441 | ->''"Born on third, thinks he got a triple."'' |
| 442 | -->-- '''Music/PearlJam''', "Bu$hleaguer" |
| 443 | |
| 444 | ->''"I wanna be a B-grade actor,\ |
| 445 | Star alongside Terri Hatcher.\ |
| 446 | [[LargeHam With expertise in over-acting]]\ |
| 447 | I'm just [[ThePoorMansSubstitute a copy of the real thing]]!\ |
| 448 | Start my career on a [[SoapOpera daytime soap]],\ |
| 449 | I got nominated for a Golden Globe.\ |
| 450 | Still [[JustForFun/YouKnowThatGuy no-one can remember my name]].\ |
| 451 | I'm just destined for [[AppealToObscurity B-Grade fame]]!"'' |
| 452 | -->-- '''[[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sounds_Like_Chicken Sounds Like Chicken]]''', "Entrails" |
| 453 | |
| 454 | ->''"Now you may find it inconceivable, or at the very least a bit unlikely,\ |
| 455 | That the relative position of the planets and the stars\ |
| 456 | Could have a special deep significance or meaning\ |
| 457 | That exclusively applies to only you,\ |
| 458 | But let me give you my assurance that these forecasts and predictions\ |
| 459 | Are all based on solid scientific documented evidence,\ |
| 460 | So you would have to be some kind of moron not to realize\ |
| 461 | That every single one of them is absolutely true."'' |
| 462 | -->-- '''Music/WeirdAlYankovic''', "Your Horoscope for Today" |
| 463 | |
| 464 | ->''"Don't the hours grow shorter as the days go by \ |
| 465 | We never get to stop and open our eyes \ |
| 466 | One minute you're waiting for the sky to fall \ |
| 467 | And next you're dazzled by the beauty of it all"'' |
| 468 | -->--'''Bruce Cockburn''', "Lovers In A Dangerous Time" |
| 469 | |
| 470 | ->'''Rabinovich''': Don't you forget that United States has been the greatest contributor of our current democracy.\ |
| 471 | '''Mundstock''': And our former dictatorships. |
| 472 | -->-- '''Music/LesLuthiers''' on the Himnovaciones routine |
| 473 | |
| 474 | ->''"I was unhappy. I lived a sad and bitter life. I couldn't keep a job. I had dandruff. My wife spent her time nagging me, my children asked me more attention. Until one day a friend of mine lent me the Warren Sanchez's Record "Seeking The Path" And from that day on my life changed. I left the suffering, I left the sadness, I left my job, my wife and my kids..."'' |
| 475 | -->-- '''Music/LesLuthiers''', [[{{Cult}} The Warren Sanchez Path]] Routine |
| 476 | |
| 477 | ->''"The language and concepts contained herein are guaranteed not to cause eternal torment in the place where the guy with the horns and pointed stick conducts his business."'' |
| 478 | -->-- '''Music/FrankZappa''' |
| 479 | |
| 480 | ->''"[[ForGreatJustice The clash of honor calls]] [[DefeatingTheUndefeatable to stand when others fall]]''\ |
| 481 | ''[[GodOfEvil Gods of war]] [[RightMakesMight feel the power of my sword!]]"'' |
| 482 | -->-- '''Music/{{Manowar}}''', "The Power Of Thy Sword" |
| 483 | |
| 484 | ->''"I was lyin' in a burned out basement'' |
| 485 | ->''With the full moon in my eyes'' |
| 486 | ->''I was hopin' for replacement'' |
| 487 | ->''When the sun burst though the sky'' |
| 488 | ->''There was a band playin' in my head'' |
| 489 | ->''And I felt like getting high'' |
| 490 | ->''I was thinkin' about what a friend had said'' |
| 491 | ->''I was hopin' it was a lie'' |
| 492 | ->''Thinkin' about what a friend had said'' |
| 493 | ->''I was hopin' it was a lie"'' |
| 494 | -->-- '''Music/NeilYoung''', "After the Gold Rush" |
| 495 | |
| 496 | ->''"What good is power if you're out of control?"'' |
| 497 | -->-- '''Music/TheMegas''', "Gamma Unchained" |
| 498 | |
| 499 | ->''"After [[BigBad the bad guy]] [[RedShirt killed off all the underdeveloped characters]]''\ |
| 500 | ''The [[TheHero good guy]] [[GoodIsNotNice put a bullet right through his head]]''\ |
| 501 | ''The screenwriter stood up and told us that all the loose ends had been''\ |
| 502 | ''tied, justice is irrelevant''\ |
| 503 | ''Violent problems need violent solutions''\ |
| 504 | '''Cause in [[{{Eagleland}} America]] [[KillHimAlready we like our bad guys dead]]"'' |
| 505 | -->-- '''Todd Snider''', ''Tension'', from ''Step Right Up'' |
| 506 | |
| 507 | ->''"She's a deep water ship and a deep water crew,\ |
| 508 | (Away to Rio!)\ |
| 509 | You can keep to the coast, but we're damned if we do!\ |
| 510 | (And we're bound for the Rio Grande!)"'' |
| 511 | -->-- "Away to Rio", sea shanty |
| 512 | |
| 513 | ->''"Say you'll remember me\ |
| 514 | Standing in a nice dress,\ |
| 515 | Staring at the sunset, babe\ |
| 516 | Red lips and rosy cheeks\ |
| 517 | Say you'll see me again\ |
| 518 | Even if it's just in your\ |
| 519 | Wildest dreams, ah-ha ohh,\ |
| 520 | Wildest dreams, ah-ha ohh."'' |
| 521 | -->-- '''Music/TaylorSwift''', "Wildest Dreams" |
| 522 | |
| 523 | ->''"He said I wanna see you again\ |
| 524 | But I'm stuck in colder weather\ |
| 525 | Maybe tomorrow will be better\ |
| 526 | Can I call you then?\ |
| 527 | She said you're ramblin' man\ |
| 528 | You ain't ever gonna change\ |
| 529 | You got a gypsy soul to blame\ |
| 530 | And you were born for leavin'."'' |
| 531 | -->-- '''Music/ZacBrownBand''', "Colder Weather" |
| 532 | |
| 533 | ->''"Reduce, recycle, REVENGE!"'' |
| 534 | -->-- '''Music/{{Qbomb}}''', "Build a Giant Robot Out of Trash" |
| 535 | |
| 536 | ->''"To my enemies!\ |
| 537 | Those were the best days of our lives!\ |
| 538 | When our hate made us feel so alive!\ |
| 539 | So wrong it's right!\ |
| 540 | So wrong it's right, alright!"'' |
| 541 | -->-- '''Music/SaintMotel''', "To My Enemies" |
| 542 | [[/folder]] |
| 543 | |
| 544 | [[folder:Newspaper Comics]] |
| 545 | -> '''Bucky''': Ferrets are guilty of what is called ''original sin''. Do you know what that is? |
| 546 | -> '''Satchel''': Yeah, yeah! I've seen that on TV! That's, like, when someone [[Series/AntiquesRoadshow refinishes an old chair and ruins its value]], right? |
| 547 | -> '''Bucky''': I don't think Creator/{{PBS}} is exposing you to good enough sin. |
| 548 | -->-- ''ComicStrip/GetFuzzy'', [[http://gocomics.com/getfuzzy/2011/02/03 Feb. 3 2011]] |
| 549 | |
| 550 | ->''"Note to readers: Naturally, there is no such thing as a veeblefetzer! This grotesque designation is used merely to disguise our real operation which is such a good idea that we want to protect the idea from being stolen by any unscrupulous operators... mainly you readers!"'' |
| 551 | -->-- ''Magazine/{{MAD}}'', "Gasoline Valley" |
| 552 | [[/folder]] |
| 553 | |
| 554 | [[folder:Professional Wrestling]] |
| 555 | ->'''Todd Grisham''': Come on, Ricardo! You can do it! |
| 556 | ->'''Josh Matthews''': No he can't! What is he gonna do, Todd? |
| 557 | ->'''Todd Grisham''': ... Run... |
| 558 | -->-- ''Wrestling/{{WWE}} {{NXT}}'', Jan. 18, 2011 |
| 559 | |
| 560 | ->'''Jerry Lawler''': Pat Patterson's turning over in his grave. |
| 561 | ->'''Michael Cole''': He's not dead! |
| 562 | ->'''Jerry Lawler''': That probably just killed him. |
| 563 | -->-- ''Wrestling/{{WWE}} Wrestling/MondayNightRaw'' |
| 564 | |
| 565 | ->''"This is everything C.M. Punk stands against. That licentious behavior, going out to the ''discotechque'', listening to the ''hip'' and the ''hop'' music..."'' |
| 566 | -->-- '''Matt Striker''', ''Wrestling/{{WWE}} Friday Night Smackdown!'' |
| 567 | |
| 568 | ->''"Where are you, Cena?... Maybe you're walking around there trying to find your next movie script. Yeah, I mailed it to The Rock. He ran out of toilet paper."'' |
| 569 | -->-- '''The Miz''', ''Wrestling/{{WWE}} Monday Night Raw'' 4-May-2009 |
| 570 | |
| 571 | ->''"It's the final ''Raw'' of 2008! I'm fired up! Let's do something big! Crazy! Get a monster truck to crush a car! Or shoot a man out of a cannon! Or remake ''Film/SmokeyAndTheBandit''! Something!"'' |
| 572 | -->-- '''John Cena''', ''Wrestling/{{WWE}} Monday Night Raw'', 29-DEC-2008 |
| 573 | |
| 574 | ->''"I prey on the innocent. It's how I made my fortune, and, quite frankly, it's fun."'' |
| 575 | -->-- '''John Bradshaw Layfield''', ''Wrestling/{{WWE}} Monday Night Raw'' |
| 576 | |
| 577 | ->''"They don't serve diet soda at the Palace of Wisdom."'' |
| 578 | -->-- '''John Morrison''', ''ECW on Sci-Fi'' |
| 579 | |
| 580 | ->''"May I never be thought of as fuckin' legit."'' |
| 581 | ->-- '''Vince [=McMahon=]''', during the press conference announcing the XFL. |
| 582 | [[/folder]] |
| 583 | |
| 584 | [[folder:Radio]] |
| 585 | ->''"The problem with Creator/WilliamShakespeare's comedies is that they're just like Seventies rock bands: they're all the same."'' |
| 586 | -->-- '''Austin Tichenor''', ''The Reduced Shakespeare Radio Show'' |
| 587 | |
| 588 | ->''"He (UsefulNotes/BarackObama) is going to keep reaching out to the Republicans, even if they won't vote for their own ideas."'' |
| 589 | -->-- '''[[Radio/TheStephanieMillerShow Stephanie Miller]]''' |
| 590 | [[/folder]] |
| 591 | |
| 592 | [[folder:Tabletop Games]] |
| 593 | ->''"In every Trooper training class, there is one kid with an impenetrable air of mystery. He doesn't participate in class discussions, and no one can tell what he's thinking. These kids mystify their teachers, and so the thoughtful educators kick them out of school and send them to study under the local Ancient [=ZenMaster=]. Invariably, it turns out that these kids are just nearsighted, but by the time anyone finds this out it is too late and they are well on their way to becoming Ninjas."'' |
| 594 | -->-- ''TabletopGame/BrikWars 2001'' [[http://www.brikwars.com/rules/2001/2001-bookthree.txt Book Three]] |
| 595 | |
| 596 | ->In a multiplayer game, if multiple players each control a level 7 [[http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=193590 Lighthouse Chronologist]], {{extra turn}}s may sometimes be created faster than they can be taken. Keep track of them carefully. |
| 597 | -->-- [[TabletopGame/MagicTheGathering Gatherer]] |
| 598 | |
| 599 | ->''"Six consecutive life sentences" takes on a new meaning when necromancy is involved.'' |
| 600 | -->-- FlavorText on [[https://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=485414 Caged Zombie]], ''TabletopGame/MagicTheGathering'' |
| 601 | [[/folder]] |
| 602 | |
| 603 | [[folder:Theatre]] |
| 604 | ->''"For awhile, Pippin didn't show much enthusiasm for the work. But as time went on, he showed no enthusiasm at all."'' |
| 605 | -->-- '''Catherine''', ''Theatre/{{Pippin}}'' |
| 606 | |
| 607 | ->''"I would love to help humanity on a Warner Brothers salary."'' |
| 608 | -->-- '''Dr. Jim Bayliss''', ''Theatre/AllMySons'' |
| 609 | |
| 610 | ->''"It is strange with your American songs. In all of them one is either desirous to get rid of one's lover, or one weeps for a man one cannot have."'' |
| 611 | -->-- '''Emile''', ''Theatre/SouthPacific'' |
| 612 | |
| 613 | ->''"I do not long for all one sees\ |
| 614 | That's Japanese."'' |
| 615 | -->-- '''Bunthorne''', Recitative from ''Theatre/{{Patience}}'' |
| 616 | |
| 617 | ->''To have a credit read "Entire production conceived and staged by John Doe" is ridiculous. It's like saying "Entire part of Mother played by Lizzy Flop."'' |
| 618 | -->-- '''George Abbott''' |
| 619 | |
| 620 | ->''"You probably think that virtue is not going to be rewarded. But don't give up yet, because if Cinderella does not wind up happy, we will give all you your money back. And there is a ''fat chance of that.''"'' |
| 621 | -->-- '''TheNarrator''', ''Theatre/TheSolidGoldCadillac'' |
| 622 | |
| 623 | ->'''Nathan''': "I O U one thousand dollars," signed "X"! How is it you can write one thousand, but you cannot write your signature?\ |
| 624 | '''Big Jule''': I was good in arithmetic, but I stunk in English. |
| 625 | -->-- ''Theatre/GuysAndDolls'' |
| 626 | |
| 627 | ->''"We must think of a test that sounds fair, and looks fair, and seems fair, and isn't fair!"'' |
| 628 | -->-- '''Queen''', ''Theatre/OnceUponAMattress'' |
| 629 | |
| 630 | ->''". . . I have set my life upon a cast,\ |
| 631 | And I will stand the hazard of the die."'' |
| 632 | -->-- '''UsefulNotes/RichardIII''', ''Theatre/RichardIII'', Act V, Scene IV |
| 633 | |
| 634 | ->''"The mistake began when God was created in a male image. Of course, women would see Him that way, but men should have been gentlemen enough, remembering their mothers, to make God a woman! But the God of Gods --the Boss-- has always been a man. That makes life so perverted, and death so unnatural. We should have imagined life as created in the birth-pain of God the Mother... Now wouldn't that be more logical and satisfying than having God a male whose chest thunders with egotism and is too hard for tired heads and thoroughly comfortless?"'' |
| 635 | -->-- '''Nina''', ''Theatre/StrangeInterlude'' (maybe someone should tell her about the Holy Mary) |
| 636 | |
| 637 | ->''"Really splendid tonight, Richard -- I must tell you that. The entire section we spoke of from "To be or not to be" through the Nunnery Scene was excellent -- I almost liked it."'' |
| 638 | -->-- '''Creator/JohnGielgud''''s director's notes to Creator/RichardBurton, on ''Theatre/{{Hamlet}}'' |
| 639 | |
| 640 | ->'''Little Mary''': But, Mother, even when the ladies ''do'' do things, they stop it when they get the lovie-dovies.\ |
| 641 | '''Mary''': The what?\ |
| 642 | '''Little Mary''': Like in the movies, Mother. Ladies always end up so ''silly''. Lovey-dovey, lovey-dovey all the time! |
| 643 | -->-- ''Theatre/TheWomen'' |
| 644 | |
| 645 | ->'''Elder Price:''' Do you find yourself asking questions about that strange feeling inside?\ |
| 646 | '''Gotswana:''' YES!\ |
| 647 | '''Elder Price:''' And it's because you want to believe in something more, isn't it?!\ |
| 648 | '''Gotswana:''' No, it's because I have maggots in my scrotum. |
| 649 | -->-- ''Theatre/TheBookOfMormon'' |
| 650 | |
| 651 | ->'''Dmitry:''' If you ever see me from a carriage again, don't wave, don't smile... I don't want to be in love with someone I can't have for the rest of my life. |
| 652 | -->-- ''Theatre/{{Anastasia}}'' |
| 653 | [[/folder]] |
| 654 | |
| 655 | [[folder:Video Games]] |
| 656 | ->''"Well, Dad. I figured there's no need to stand on ceremony when the ceremony is as ridiculous as this."'' |
| 657 | -->-- '''Dahn''' ''VideoGame/RaidouKuzunohaVsKingAbaddon'' |
| 658 | |
| 659 | ->''"Yes, it's a goofy name, but you're not likely to forget it, are you? I'm tired of all the DM levels with the same names: "Frag You," "Frag Fest," "Frag Yo Momma," etc."'' |
| 660 | -->-- Text file for the ''VideoGame/{{Doom}}'' custom map "[[http://www.doomworld.com/idgames/?id=6004 Fuzzy Bunny Deathmatch]]" |
| 661 | |
| 662 | ->''"The living may not hear them. Their voices may fall upon deaf ears. But, make no mistake. The dead are not silent."'' |
| 663 | -->-- '''The Sorrow''', ''VideoGame/MetalGearSolid3SnakeEater'' |
| 664 | |
| 665 | ->''"When I first stole into this chamber centuries ago, I did not fathom the true power of knowledge. To know the future, Raziel, to see its paths and streams tracing out into the infinite. As a man, I could never have contained such forbidden truths. [[AGodAmI But each of us is so much more than we once were]]."'' |
| 666 | -->-- '''Kain''', ''VideoGame/LegacyOfKainSoulReaver'' |
| 667 | |
| 668 | ->'''Raziel:''' You talk as though we're allies.\ |
| 669 | '''Kain:''' Regardless of your sentiments, Raziel, in ''their'' eyes -- we are.\ |
| 670 | '''Raziel:''' Well, ''they're'' certainly trying to eliminate you, Kain, there can be no doubt of that. As for me, I suspect ''they'' made a grave error when ''they'' allowed my unique resurrection. I don't think ''they'' know how to destroy me.\ |
| 671 | '''Kain:''' You mustn't underestimate ''them'', Raziel.\ |
| 672 | ''' Raziel:''' And who exactly is this diabolical ''they'' to which we keep referring? If there's some grand conspiracy going on, the right hand doesn't appear to know what the left is doing. |
| 673 | -->-- ''VideoGame/LegacyOfKainSoulReaver2'' |
| 674 | |
| 675 | ->''"All these science spheres are made of asbestos, by the way. Let us know if you feel a shortness of breath, a persistent dry cough or your heart stopping. Because that's not part of the test. That's asbestos. Good news is, the lab boys say the symptoms of asbestos poisoning show a median latency of 44.6 years, so if you're thirty or older, you're laughing. Worst case scenario, you miss out on a few rounds of canasta, plus you forwarded the cause of science by three centuries. I punch those numbers into my calculator, it makes a happy face."'' |
| 676 | -->-- '''Cave Johnson''', ''VideoGame/Portal2'' |
| 677 | |
| 678 | ->''"You ever get the urge to just do something stupid... and [[SuddenlyShouting AWESOME]]?"'' |
| 679 | -->-- '''Demyx''', ''VideoGame/KingdomHearts358DaysOver2'' |
| 680 | |
| 681 | ->''"He escaped into the waves.\ |
| 682 | The waves."'' |
| 683 | -->-- ''VideoGame/{{Marathon}}'' |
| 684 | |
| 685 | ->''"It seems that we have a great gap in our values."'' |
| 686 | -->-- '''Bio-Haz''', ''Great Greed'' |
| 687 | |
| 688 | ->''"Why does this seem like the end of some cheesy made-for-TV movie?"'' |
| 689 | -->-- '''Yuko''', ''VideoGame/Persona3'' |
| 690 | |
| 691 | ->''"Did everyone get it out of their system? Anyone have anything else? No? Nobody? Then let's get it over with! Ready, kid?"'' |
| 692 | -->-- '''Gig''', ''VideoGame/SoulNomadAndTheWorldEaters'' |
| 693 | |
| 694 | ->''"I don't need to know, I have people to know for me."'' |
| 695 | -->-- '''Scara B. King''', ''VideoGame/TheNamelessMod'' |
| 696 | |
| 697 | ->''"Don't worry -- I hear heaven's a nice place. '''Say hello to Satoshi!'''"'' |
| 698 | -->-- '''One half of Shmion''' [[RoaringRampageOfRevenge just before killing the other half]] in ''VisualNovel/HigurashiWhenTheyCry'' |
| 699 | |
| 700 | ->''"(Wow, this lady makes Maya look like a 6.8/10 on the weirdness scale.)"'' |
| 701 | -->-- '''Phoenix''', ''VisualNovel/PhoenixWrightAceAttorneyTrialsAndTribulations'' |
| 702 | |
| 703 | ->''"Shouldn't you be doing something more [[StayInTheKitchen domestic than fighting with a sword]]? [...] Oh, it's you again. Hey, um.... Sorry about, you know, what I said the other day. My arms and legs are sorry, too. Oh... the bruises..."'' |
| 704 | -->-- '''Largo''', ''Franchise/FireEmblem'' |
| 705 | |
| 706 | ->'''Pearl Fey:''' Wow, you really know a lot about the Steel Samurai, Mr. Nick.\ |
| 707 | '''Phoenix Wright:''' ... (I don't know whether to laugh or cry that I know more about that show than a kid...) |
| 708 | -->-- ''VisualNovel/PhoenixWrightAceAttorneyJusticeForAll'' |
| 709 | |
| 710 | ->''"The person in question was a victim of murder, not ill-conceived naming, Mr. Wright."'' |
| 711 | -->-- '''The Judge''', ''VisualNovel/PhoenixWrightAceAttorney'' |
| 712 | |
| 713 | ->''"Whose justice is the most just? Why is this always so hard!"'' |
| 714 | -->-- '''Bobby Fulbright''', ''VisualNovel/PhoenixWrightAceAttorneyDualDestinies'' |
| 715 | |
| 716 | ->''"Game designers: think of a single, sharp, [[VideoGame/{{Ikaruga}} spear-like mechanic]], [[VideoGame/ShadowOfTheColossus stick with it]], [[VideoGame/{{Portal}} set it in stone]], and then make [[VideoGame/AnotherWorld awesome levels]]. If there's a mood you want to go for, keep it in mind. In short: be cool, and you too can make a masterpiece. Even if your single mechanic is amazing, it doesn't mean anything without great levels. However, even a bare-bones mechanic (like, say, "running and jumping") can make for spectacular entertainment if the levels are great (VideoGame/SuperMarioBros3)."'' |
| 717 | -->-- '''Tim Rogers''', on ''[[http://www.actionbutton.net/?p=431 Another World]]'' |
| 718 | |
| 719 | ->''"Since time before time the Vorlak had held the Crosshutch at Thraeskamp. The ancient reckoning held that the Five Skrelkampi (and their Truebine) would return when the great Trond-feast could be held anew and the Belnap reunited. But this legend became lost to all but the Papperboxen at Horbug. One of their own was Yallow the Speldrig, who found an unlikely pupil in Torbole Understeady, the discarded illigitimate waif of Wainthane Topknox, whom Yallow renamed Grumdrig and began to school as a boar-pulmet's apprentice. ...And, as it was said by some, in aberdoxy."'' |
| 720 | -->--''[[http://www.progressquest.com/info.php Progress Quest]]'' [[AllThereInTheManual backstory]] |
| 721 | |
| 722 | ->''"This place is like an assbackwards of Robin Hood. The queen took every artifact of value from the poor, and put it on display for the rich"'' |
| 723 | -->-- '''Ira''', ''VideoGame/JaggedAlliance 2'' |
| 724 | |
| 725 | ->''"She is evil, a driven bitch."'' |
| 726 | -->-- '''Ira''', ''VideoGame/JaggedAlliance 2'' |
| 727 | |
| 728 | ->''"I bet you were one of those people, who, when a teacher asked a question and asked if anyone knows the answer, raised your hand and said 'I don't'."'' |
| 729 | -->-- '''Jick''', ''VideoGame/KingdomOfLoathing'' |
| 730 | |
| 731 | ->''"Take that, oxygen-nitrogen atmosphere!"'' |
| 732 | -->-- ''VideoGame/{{Sam and Max|FreelancePolice}}: Season One'' |
| 733 | |
| 734 | ->''"You can't beat me! I'm a kid; no toy can withstand me."'' |
| 735 | -->-- '''[[WesternAnimation/TheFairlyOddparents Timmy Turner]]''', ''[[VideoGame/NicktoonsUnite Nicktoons: Attack of the Toybots]]'' |
| 736 | |
| 737 | ->''"Fuck! What am I doing checking my objectives readout right now? There's a goddamn Satan staring me in the face, for Christ's sake!"'' |
| 738 | -->-- Objectives description for one of the boss fights, ''[=ZDoom=] Community Map Project II'' |
| 739 | |
| 740 | ->''"A PAWN DREAMS OF THE FINAL RANK. A QUEEN DREAMS FURTHER. NEITHER MOVES ALONE."'' |
| 741 | -->-- '''Mr. Sacks''', ''VideoGame/FallenLondon'' |
| 742 | |
| 743 | ->'''''They shake hands'''\ |
| 744 | A [[InterclassFriendship grubby hand shakes a well-manicured one]]. The [[StreetUrchin urchin]] is under the [[OurDemonsAreDifferent devil's]] protection, now. [The Urchin] pays [[PlayerCharacter you]] in secrets overheard through a [[BazaarOfTheBizarre Bazaar]] window.\ |
| 745 | A child's innocent face and [[TheSocialExpert gift for detecting hypocrisy]]. A devil's mercy and [[ManipulativeBastard clever tongue]]. You may have just created a monster. Will any soul in London be safe?'' |
| 746 | -->-- ''VideoGame/FallenLondon'' |
| 747 | |
| 748 | ->Source Agent shoots you with a pistol. I guess we're long past the point where that's a weird thing to happen in what is ostensibly a fantasy game. |
| 749 | -->-- ''VideoGame/KingdomOfLoathing'' |
| 750 | |
| 751 | ->'''Q:''' Why does one of the guards in Area 51 shoot his fellow guards with a Magnum then run away?\ |
| 752 | '''A:''' He is Jonathan, your Carrington Institute co-agent, and the person you're supposed to meet before scarpering. Look, you're obviously suffering here, give the cart back. Play snap or something. |
| 753 | -->-- ''VideoGame/PerfectDark'' [[http://web.archive.org/web/20020819223002/www.rareware.com/the_site/rare_games/new_games_digest/pd_digest/pd_rm_copy.html developer Q&A]] |
| 754 | |
| 755 | ->''"An ambush! Send these vermin a message: the rightful owner has returned, and their kind is no longer welcome!"'' |
| 756 | -->-- '''The Narrator''', ''VideoGame/DarkestDungeon'' |
| 757 | |
| 758 | ->''Scholar is a DPS job. Now, [[WhiteMagicianGirl my clothes may be white]], and my job icon might be green, but don't let that fool you, I'm a DPS.'' [zooms in on Eos] ''The healer's over there.'' |
| 759 | -->-- [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YWPQDx4gfrc Basically, Scholar]] |
| 760 | |
| 761 | ->''"Is emptiness form, or form emptiness? Either way, I am still here and hitting you!"'' |
| 762 | -->-- '''Shadow of Qitian Dasheng''', ''VideoGame/FinalFantasyXIV'' |
| 763 | |
| 764 | ->'''Talion:''' You've sacrificed much.\ |
| 765 | '''Carnán:''' Long afore. [[SealedEvilInACan Buried was Tar Goroth by Carnán in Doom Shadow.]] Aghast my forest destroyed, my brood scattered. Now again fire is buried. Drown-ed in ice. And from decay come bloom. The circle is unbroken. |
| 766 | -->-- ''VideoGame/MiddleEarthShadowOfWar'' |
| 767 | |
| 768 | ->'''Lok:''' What if my monster is like the dinosaur meteor?\ |
| 769 | '''Ray:''' Lok, there's no such thing as monsters.\ |
| 770 | '''Ray:''' Excluding, of course, [[ZombieApocalypse the existing monsters we know about]].\ |
| 771 | '''Ray:''' There's no such thing as ''additional'' monsters. |
| 772 | -->-- ''VideoGame/{{Fortnite}}'' |
| 773 | |
| 774 | ->''"People who say 'no pun intended' are cowards. Intend your puns, weakling."'' |
| 775 | -->-- '''Hana''', ''VideoGame/FireEmblemFates'' |
| 776 | |
| 777 | ->Farewell to all the earthly remains\ |
| 778 | No burdens, no further debts to be paid\ |
| 779 | Atlas can rest his weary bones\ |
| 780 | The weight of the world all falls away\ |
| 781 | In time...\ |
| 782 | \ |
| 783 | Goodbye to all the plans that we made\ |
| 784 | No contracts, I’m free to do as I may\ |
| 785 | No hunger, no sleep except to dream\ |
| 786 | Mild and warm, safe from all harm\ |
| 787 | Calm...\ |
| 788 | \ |
| 789 | Good riddance to all the thieves\ |
| 790 | To all the fools that stifled me\ |
| 791 | They’ve come and gone and passed me by\ |
| 792 | Good riddance to all... |
| 793 | -->-- "Good Riddance", ''VideoGame/{{Hades}}'' |
| 794 | |
| 795 | ->''Twenty-eight years in that godforsaken jungle.\ |
| 796 | Killing soldiers wasn't so bad. I hardly remember it.\ |
| 797 | But burning those villages, watching those naked peasants cry...\ |
| 798 | I see it every day. It's not PTSD, it's the drug.\ |
| 799 | It's only been a week, but it feels like a year.\ |
| 800 | Every word is getting longer, the mosquitoes are getting louder.\ |
| 801 | When the drug runs out, time stops, and you're stuck in the jungle forever.\ |
| 802 | It's... grains of sand in a shrinking hour glass.\ |
| 803 | I know what comes next. I need to ask you a favor.'' |
| 804 | -->-- ''VideoGame/KatanaZero'' |
| 805 | |
| 806 | ->''"Fewer than 1% of players are banned for toxicity. That's what you call elite."'' |
| 807 | -->-- '''W.I.L.L.U.M.P.''', ''VideoGame/LeagueOfLegends'' |
| 808 | |
| 809 | ->'''Grith:''' We have more troops than you, and we'll crush you by attacking in five waves!\ |
| 810 | '''Hemiac:''' Wouldn't it be better strategy to concentrate your attack in one single wave instead of five?\ |
| 811 | '''Grith:''' Screw strategy! We only want to kill and pillage! |
| 812 | -->-- ''VideoGame/BattleForWesnoth'' user-made campaign, ''Talentless Mage'', "Waves of Orcs" |
| 813 | |
| 814 | ->''It is scientifically proven that if you make [[VideoGame/AngryBirds a game with a bird in it]], you will make a ton of cash.'' |
| 815 | -->-- Profit Bird description, ''VideoGame/JetpackJoyride'' |
| 816 | |
| 817 | ->''"We were ignored by the fools in Russia; men with no vision, no money. Here's to America, eh? No vision either, but you have money!"'' |
| 818 | -->-- '''Victor Girenko''', ''VideoGame/SecondSight'' |
| 819 | |
| 820 | -> '''Vicky:''' We're already friends, so the natural next step would be to pledge my eternal devotion to you.\ |
| 821 | '''[[VideoGame/CultOfTheLamb The Lamb]]:''' You have... a very intense view of friendships, Vicky. |
| 822 | -->-- ''[[VisualNovel/MonsterProm Monster Roadtrip]]'' |
| 823 | |
| 824 | -> ''"I want, more than anything to say what I've found. Yet, I can't. It'd ruin us. These guys are our only paying clients in years. Fucking hate this."'' |
| 825 | -->-- '''Note from Cogware Games''', ''VideoGame/Shipwrecked64'' |
| 826 | |
| 827 | ->''"How could I say no to a pretty lady with a loaded gun in her hand?"'' |
| 828 | -->-- '''David''', ''[[VideoGame/DontEscape Don't Escape 4 Days to Survive]]'' |
| 829 | [[/folder]] |
| 830 | |
| 831 | [[folder:Webcomics]] |
| 832 | ->''"If you have a problem that you ''could'' fix but 'don't want to', you don't get to complain about it, you silly woman!"'' |
| 833 | -->-- '''Marlene''', ''Webcomic/{{Bobwhite}}'', [[http://www.bobwhitecomics.com/?webcomic_post=20110124 #20110124]] |
| 834 | |
| 835 | ->''"Damn mortal. All of them have become too much of a nuisance to be ignored any longer. I'll have to deal with them all more directly. And by "directly" I mean "trying a bunch of other things on them before I snap and tear them limb from limb." But I win either way."'' |
| 836 | -->-- '''Horde''', ''[[http://www.mgcomics.com/WTF/index.php?ep=1189574822 Double-U Tea F]]'' |
| 837 | |
| 838 | ->''"I always imagine a Senator just jumps up and shouts "FILIBUSTER!" and then everyone starts throwing beanbags at each other."'' |
| 839 | -->-- ''Webcomic/EternityStreet'', "[[http://www.furaffinity.net/view/2766769/ Parliamentary]]" |
| 840 | |
| 841 | ->'''First Robot:''' Not many people would risk themselves for a robot. We can pass the word through our community that this is a person to watch out for, and to help where we can.\ |
| 842 | '''Second Robot:''' Wouldn't it be better to do something for her with a higher chance of success? Like buying her a lottery ticket? From last year's lottery? |
| 843 | -->-- ''Webcomic/{{Freefall}}'', [[http://freefall.purrsia.com/ff500/fv00402.htm #00402]] |
| 844 | |
| 845 | ->'''Sam''' Helix, what did I say to do if you feel an outburst of honesty coming on?\ |
| 846 | '''Helix:''' If what I say is going to get us killed, don't say anything at all. |
| 847 | -->-- ''Webcomic/{{Freefall}}'' [[http://freefall.purrsia.com/ff1800/fc01728.htm #01728]] |
| 848 | |
| 849 | ->''"Maybe it was an OK 2007 strip at the time, but audiences have changed. These days, I expect more out of 2007 humor."'' |
| 850 | -->-- '''Unwinder''', ''Webcomic/UnwindersTallComics'' GuestStrip by [[http://tallcomics.com/?id=39 Ben Heaton]] |
| 851 | |
| 852 | ->'''Priest:''' GAH! You can't spray Cheez Wiz on the body of Christ!\ |
| 853 | '''Ralph:''' What? Why not? Jesus tastes too dry and stale. |
| 854 | -->-- ''[[http://www.exploitationnow.com/comic.php?date=2001-01-05 Exploitation Now]]'' |
| 855 | |
| 856 | ->'''Crystal:''' PICKLE DEATH ATTACK!\ |
| 857 | ''[BeatPanel]''\ |
| 858 | '''Haley:''' So that's the sort of battle this is gonna be, huh?\ |
| 859 | '''Crystal:''' You're just jealous because you don't have a secret plan for beating me that's as awesome as my secret pickle plan for beating you. HA! |
| 860 | -->-- ''Webcomic/TheOrderOfTheStick'' [[http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0607.html #607]] |
| 861 | |
| 862 | ->''"Ugh. How did they manage to make ''plastic welding rods'' sound boring?"'' |
| 863 | -->-- '''Ben Heaton''', ''[[http://www.requestcomics.com/comic/index.html Request Comics]]'' [[http://www.requestcomics.com/comic/65.html #65]] |
| 864 | |
| 865 | ->''"If the Lord hadn't intended us to make jokes, He wouldn't have given us poodles."'' |
| 866 | -->-- ''Webcomic/{{Mezzacotta}}'', [[http://www.mezzacotta.net/archive.php?date=1955-11-22 22 November 1955]] |
| 867 | |
| 868 | ->''"If you find yourself in a social situation, make threats."'' |
| 869 | -->-- '''Tom Slidell''', ''Webcomic/GunnerkriggCourt'' |
| 870 | |
| 871 | ->'''Steffi:''' I was wondering how you feel about participating in... questionably-legal-things.\ |
| 872 | '''42:''' Technically, my existance is illegal. |
| 873 | -->-- ''Webcomic/KiwiBlitz'' |
| 874 | |
| 875 | ->''"Repeat after me: 'Despite what magical girl anime has taught me, the monster does not go down with the first strike.'"'' |
| 876 | -->-- '''Hermod''', ''Webcomic/SparklingGenerationValkyrieYuuki'' |
| 877 | |
| 878 | ->''"You gotta let ''other'' people say the mean things about you! Then you hit 'em!"'' |
| 879 | -->-- '''Sally Fintan''', ''Webcomic/SleeplessDomain'' |
| 880 | |
| 881 | ->''"Even if you didn't ever fight again, you've officially saved one person. That's more than most people can say. No sense sweating the small stuff."'' |
| 882 | -->-- '''Rue Bahia''', ''Webcomic/SleeplessDomain'' |
| 883 | |
| 884 | ->''"You know what's ''really'' bad for branding? Dead magical girls."'' |
| 885 | -->-- '''Miss Nasri''', ''Webcomic/SleeplessDomain'' |
| 886 | |
| 887 | ->'''Doctor Bunnigus:''' Actually, Commander, the headache is probably my fault. You've got some funny flavor of blood-nannies in your system. It took me almost a month to figure out how to quiesce the little bugsies before regeneration could start.\ |
| 888 | '''Kevyn:''' Define "funny."\ |
| 889 | '''Doctor Bunnigus:''' When it happens to you, rather than happening to me?\ |
| 890 | '''Kevyn:''' So... My bloodstream is full of slapstick. |
| 891 | -->-- ''Webcomic/SchlockMercenary'' |
| 892 | |
| 893 | ->''"How many times did I tell you that you're not supposed to drink the fluid in your [[PeopleJars cloning tank]]?"'' |
| 894 | -->-- ''Webcomic/SchlockMercenary'' |
| 895 | |
| 896 | ->''Artillery exists to launch large chunks of budget at an enemy it cannot actually see.'' |
| 897 | -->-- Maxim 57 of '''The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries''', ''Webcomic/SchlockMercenary'' |
| 898 | |
| 899 | ->'''Stephen:''' I made some fruit salad. Grapes and an orange.\ |
| 900 | '''Sid:''' Of [[Literature/TheGrapesOfWrath wrath]] and [[Literature/AClockworkOrange clockwork]], respectively? |
| 901 | -->-- ''Webcomic/TerrorIsland'', [[http://www.terrorisland.net/strips/011.html Strip #11]] |
| 902 | |
| 903 | ->''"I'm going to ask what's going on, but that doesn't mean I want to participate."'' |
| 904 | -->-- '''Liln''', ''Webcomic/TerrorIsland'' [[http://www.terrorisland.net/strips/012.html #12]] |
| 905 | |
| 906 | ->''"Imagine what medieval peasants would say if you could explain to them the stuff that people waste most of their time worrying about these days."'' |
| 907 | -->-- '''[[http://www.irregularwebcomic.net/1613.html David Morgan-Mar]]''', ''Webcomic/IrregularWebcomic'' |
| 908 | |
| 909 | ->'''[[spoiler:Jin]]:''' We have all the puzzle pieces in place!\ |
| 910 | '''Monica:''' The hell we do! You've taken all the puzzle pieces, scrambled them up, and slipped them in various peoples' pockets with the intent of later manipulating them to meet up and magically, in unison, pull a rabbit out of the ass of the fucking universe!\ |
| 911 | '''[[spoiler:Jin]]:''' I know! It's going to be glorious! |
| 912 | -->-- ''Webcomic/WapsiSquare'' |
| 913 | |
| 914 | ->'''Sam:''' Sandra, listen... I can't say you haven't earned self-pity. Morning'll come, and it'll be cruel, so take what you can get from this! You're gonna hurt, but you don't have to hurt now. Right?\ |
| 915 | '''Jack:''' I hurt. I hurt now. I have to.\ |
| 916 | '''Sam:''' Well, you get self-pity too. |
| 917 | -->-- ''Webcomic/ZebraGirl'' |
| 918 | |
| 919 | ->''"This tells me even less than before, but with more words!"'' |
| 920 | -->-- '''Black Mage''', ''Webcomic/EightBitTheater'', [[http://www.nuklearpower.com/2008/06/24/episode-1008-charmed-im-sure/ "Charmed, I'm Sure"]] |
| 921 | |
| 922 | ->'''Red Mage:''' I won't let you destroy the world.\ |
| 923 | '''Black Mage:''' That's super. |
| 924 | -->-- ''Webcomic/EightBitTheater'', [[http://www.nuklearpower.com/2009/05/21/episode-1130-so-close-yet-so-far/ "So close, yet so far."]] |
| 925 | |
| 926 | ->'''King Dedede:''' Oh, come on! He just ate the prosecutor! I can't believe you, man. VideoGame/{{Kirby}} gets away with ''everything.'' And why do you always take his side?\ |
| 927 | '''Meta Knight:''' ...Well, like it or not, you and Kirby aren't that different. But where he has childlike optimism, you have untempered malice. Sometimes that's all the difference one needs to be the 'good guy'. |
| 928 | -->-- ''Webcomic/BrawlInTheFamily'' |
| 929 | |
| 930 | ->'''Rex:''' ''[baking Christmas cookies]'' There'll be parties for hosting, marshmallows for toasting and carolling out in the snow~. There'll be scary ghost stories and tales of the glories of Christmases long, long ago~. It's the most wonderful time of the year~. There'll be much mistletoe-ing and hearts will be glowing when loved ones are neeeear~...\ |
| 931 | '''Peanut:''' ''[walking outside]'' There's Rex's house. What do you think he does for the holidays?\ |
| 932 | '''Grape:''' Strangle small animals, probably. Why, what do you think?\ |
| 933 | '''Peanut:''' Same, really. |
| 934 | -->-- ''Webcomic/{{Housepets}}'' |
| 935 | |
| 936 | ->''Apparently "menstruation is for chumps and yes I'm sure" isn't a good enough reason to prescribe a full hysterectomy.'' |
| 937 | -->-- '''Max Hellenberger''', ''Webcomic/LeftoverSoup'' |
| 938 | |
| 939 | ->''"Kill a man today, and all you get are spare parts. But conquer his ''village'', and you get spare parts ''plus'' the people who can cook you breakfast ''tomorrow!''"'' |
| 940 | -->-- '''Bludtharst Heterodyne''', quoted by '''the Castle''' in ''Webcomic/GirlGenius'', [[https://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20210804 Vol. 2-9 (22) p. 39]] (You can get it embroidered on tea towels in Mechanicsburg!) |
| 941 | |
| 942 | ->'''Hazama:''' Come along, Ms. Noel Vermillion. ''[walks a short distance, then opens the elevator doors]'' Alright, let's split up.\ |
| 943 | '''Noel:''' But... you said to...\ |
| 944 | '''Hazama:''' The enemy is everywhere. They could be listening to us as we speak.\ |
| 945 | '''Noel:''' Wha... What enemy?\ |
| 946 | '''Hazama:''' ''[smiling]'' That's classified. |
| 947 | -->-- ''Webcomic/{{Blazen}}: Anime/BlazBlueAlterMemory Abridged'' |
| 948 | [[/folder]] |
| 949 | |
| 950 | [[folder:Web Original]] |
| 951 | ->''"I've said, before, that games can perhaps never be 'art' because I seriously can't think of a single game that some jerk can't just pick up and immediately tilt the right analog stick to one side, cackling as the camera spins in circles."'' |
| 952 | -->-- '''Tim Rogers''', [[http://www.actionbutton.net/?p=379#more-379 on]] ''VideoGame/CallOfDuty4ModernWarfare'' |
| 953 | |
| 954 | ->''"Sometimes we go to the diner where the way-too-attractive waitress pours us coffee and gives us broad smiles. She may look like a model but she's got flannel on and never isn't turning around with a coffee pot so she's one of us."'' |
| 955 | -->-- '''Dan Hopper''', "[[http://www.collegehumor.com/post/6963893/what-middle-america-is-like-according-to-truck-commercials What Middle America Is Like According To Truck Commercials]]" |
| 956 | |
| 957 | ->''"I'm telling you, man, your brain is more powerful now! You're gonna see [[EveryoneIsJesusInPurgatory all these links and all these, like, references between stuff...]] connections! This game improved your connection, it widened your bandwidth. That's what just happened, Woolie. You might hate it right now 'cause [[SuckinessIsPainful it's the pain]], right? But this pain [[MiseryBuildsCharacter will make you stronger]]!"'' |
| 958 | -->-- '''Reggie''', ''WebVideo/WoolieVersus VideoGame/DeathStranding'' Part 64.5 |
| 959 | |
| 960 | ->''"Everyone knows that Bruce Wayne is a fictional character, so the true identity of Batman remains a mystery."'' |
| 961 | -->-- '''[[https://web.archive.org/web/20200109000855/http://www.collegehumor.com/post/6950656/5-real-life-people-who-might-be-batman Nat Towsen]]''' |
| 962 | |
| 963 | ->''"Being a father or mother is an act of the whole person, not only a biological event."'' |
| 964 | -->-- Comment from 4thought.tv [[http://www.4thought.tv/themes/does-everyone-have-the-right-to-create-a-baby/peter-williams?autoplay=true website]]. |
| 965 | |
| 966 | ->''"Justice should be about correcting and healing society, not corrupting it and turning everyone against individuals."'' |
| 967 | -->-- '''[[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2085059/board/flat/210944363?p=1 Pentalpha]]''' |
| 968 | |
| 969 | ->''"One thing I mused about while playing VideoGame/MetalGear, is why, whenever your video game hero gets captured, does all his weapons and gear get conveniently stashed in a nearby storage room? If I were a video game villain, after capturing any heroes I found sneaking around my top secret base, I'd have all their weapons, health refills and pilfered key cards tossed in the incinerator. I would definitely NOT place everything unharmed in an unlocked room 20 yards from where I imprisoned aforementioned hero."'' |
| 970 | -->-- '''[[http://chrontendo.blogspot.com/2010/02/dr-sparkles-been-out-sick.html Doctor Sparkle]]''' |
| 971 | |
| 972 | ->''"Imagine if these guys made ''Caligula'': It would have been sixty minutes of a guy wearing a sheet in front of a green screen showing ''Film/{{Gladiator}}'', and the Roman guards would have stopped the orgy by prematurely assassinating the emperor!"'' |
| 973 | -->-- '''WebVideo/TheCinemaSnob''', on ''[[WesternAnimation/BeavisAndButthead Beaver & Buttface]]'' |
| 974 | |
| 975 | ->''"It's not very interesting to be like, 'here's the future!' and have a picture of a gigantic question mark."'' |
| 976 | -->-- '''[[http://www.acceleratingfuture.com/michael/blog/2009/01/terraformed-mars/#comment-123877 Michael Anissimov]]''' |
| 977 | |
| 978 | ->''"It just goes to show: never stick your dick in a pudding. It might still be a good pudding and you can spend all afternoon explaining that to people but no one's still going to eat it because ''YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN IT!''"'' |
| 979 | -->-- '''[[Creator/BenCroshaw Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw]]''', ''WebAnimation/ZeroPunctuation'' |
| 980 | |
| 981 | ->''"So I'll say the same thing about ''VideoGame/NoMoreHeroes'' that I say about ''VideoGame/Killer7'' and ''VideoGame/{{EarthBound|1994}}'' and [[ProductPlacement Branston Pickle]]: As flawed as it is, get it anyway, because you will never experience anything else like it. God knows what would happen if you spread Branston Pickle ''onto'' ''VideoGame/NoMoreHeroes'' -- possibly the universe would end. '''''And it would be awesome'''''."'' |
| 982 | -->-- '''[[Creator/BenCroshaw Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw]]''', ''WebAnimation/ZeroPunctuation'', on ''VideoGame/NoMoreHeroes'' |
| 983 | |
| 984 | ->''"Why is it that squiggle lines hurt more than these rifle shells?"'' |
| 985 | -->-- '''Joseph''', ''WebAnimation/{{Arfenhouse}}: The Movie'' |
| 986 | |
| 987 | ->''"Nothing is perfect, no matter how much you pay."'' |
| 988 | -->-- '''Anonymous [[http://www.etiquettehell.com/content/eh_wedding/vendors/evendors.shtml Etiquette Hell]] contributor''' |
| 989 | |
| 990 | ->'''Nerd:''' Excuse me, could you tell me how to get to Cowabunga Corner?\ |
| 991 | '''Critic:''' Oh certainly, it's right off of Bodacious Boulevard.\ |
| 992 | '''Nerd:''' ...What the hell kind of city is this?\ |
| 993 | '''Critic:''' A ''fucking weird one''. |
| 994 | -->-- '''WebVideo/TheNostalgiaCritic''' and '''WebVideo/TheAngryVideoGameNerd''', ''Franchise/TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles: [[http://www.thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/thatguywiththeglasses/nostalgia-critic/8124-cntmnt The Making of the Coming Out of Their Shells Tour]]'' |
| 995 | |
| 996 | ->''"''Theatre/RichardIII''? Basically just ''Theatre/RichardII'' with a wacky ethnic sidekick."'' |
| 997 | -->-- '''Michael Swaim''', ''Website/{{Cracked}}'', "[[http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-reasons-shakespeare-would-write-for-cracked-if-he-were-alive-today/ 6 Reasons Shakespeare Would've Written For Cracked.com]]" |
| 998 | |
| 999 | ->''[In response to a picture of [[VideoGame/MetalGearSolid3SnakeEater The Boss]]]''\ |
| 1000 | '''Anon #1:''' I'd hit it.\ |
| 1001 | '''Anon #2:''' You do not hit the Boss. The Boss hits you. |
| 1002 | -->-- ''[[Website/FourChan /tg/]]'' |
| 1003 | |
| 1004 | ->''"I shot my beam down and it went up ''anyways!''"'' |
| 1005 | -->-- '''Kajet''', [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dp_4Q-SUblw Kajet vs. Big Wes]] |
| 1006 | |
| 1007 | ->''"[F]irm yet polite complaints garner more respect than obscenity-laden all-caps rants involving Opus Dei and the Carlyle Group."'' |
| 1008 | -->-- '''[[http://joshreads.com/?p=2187 The Comics Curmudgeon]]''' |
| 1009 | |
| 1010 | ->''"[Finn] says breaking promises is great because it means you can bring the dead back to life... I suppose that's the moral."'' |
| 1011 | -->-- '''Creator/DougWalker''' reviews the first episode of ''WesternAnimation/AdventureTime'' |
| 1012 | |
| 1013 | ->''"And so then [[Series/TheXFiles Mulder and Scully]] show up with [[WesternAnimation/RockyAndBullwinkle Boris and Natasha]] eh-- '''WAIT A SECOND!'''"'' |
| 1014 | -->-- '''[[WebVideo/AtopTheFourthWall Linkara]]''', on the unexpected [[LawyerFriendlyCameo Lawyer (Un)Friendly Cameo]] in ''[[http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/linkara/at4w/3299-sinnamon-11 Sinnamon #11]]'' |
| 1015 | |
| 1016 | ->'''Dexter Reed:''' About this contract, man... what would you say we'd just... forget it?\ |
| 1017 | '''Ed:''' You don't wanna be partners?\ |
| 1018 | '''Dexter Reed:''' Well... no. See...\ |
| 1019 | '''Ed:''' Is it because I'm ''black''?\ |
| 1020 | '''The Critic:''' GASP! A funny joke! |
| 1021 | -->-- ''WebVideo/TheNostalgiaCritic'', on ''Film/GoodBurger'' |
| 1022 | |
| 1023 | ->''"That's a total of 205 Dumbass Points, which would be a record even if this weren't the first time I'd ever mentioned or tallied them."'' |
| 1024 | -->-- '''Bryan Lambert''', ''[[http://www.youaredumb.net/node?from=1197 You Are Dumb]]'' |
| 1025 | |
| 1026 | ->''"Well, the truth ''is'' out there, it just turns out that the truth is really monumentally stupid."'' |
| 1027 | -->-- '''Noah "[[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment The Spoony One]]" Antwiler''', ''LetsPlay [[VideoGame/PhantasmagoriaAPuzzleOfFlesh Phantasmagoria 2]]'' |
| 1028 | |
| 1029 | ->''"I've heard of the term 'the banality of evil' and somehow this game achieves it, although not in the way I think it was intended."'' |
| 1030 | -->-- '''Noah "[[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment The Spoony One]]" Antwiler''', ''LetsPlay [[VideoGame/PhantasmagoriaAPuzzleOfFlesh Phantasmagoria 2]]'' |
| 1031 | |
| 1032 | ->''"Chief Maintenance Officer Bowen has found a T.T. Fiddlesticks family eatery seemingly growing out of the upper echelons of the Area 6 Ventilation Control Tower. [=DynaMars=] Corporation has no idea how it was constructed, and certainly did not authorize it. [=DynaMars=] Corporation wishes to remind all Ares Station residents that T.T. Fiddlesticks is an unauthorized incursion and is currently being boycotted."'' |
| 1033 | -->-- ''[[http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/welcome-dynamars-corporations-4.php Welcome to the DynaMars Corporation's Ares Station Update Service]]'' |
| 1034 | |
| 1035 | ->''"Fairy tales do not tell dragons that children exist. Dragons already know that children exist. Fairy tales tell dragons that children are delicious."'' |
| 1036 | -->-- '''[[http://timprov.livejournal.com/326850.html Tim Cooper]]''', with apologies to Creator/GKChesterton |
| 1037 | |
| 1038 | ->''"At no time shall Romeo slap Tybalt with a fish."'' |
| 1039 | -->-- ''[[http://angevin2.livejournal.com/148520.html The Things I Will Not Do When I Direct A Shakespeare Production, On Stage Or Film]]'', #165 |
| 1040 | |
| 1041 | ->''"Thermonuclear hand grenades do not exist in any genre except ''TabletopGame/{{Paranoia}}''."'' |
| 1042 | -->-- ''Blog/ThingsMrWelchIsNoLongerAllowedToDoInAnRPG'', [[http://theglen.livejournal.com/16735.html #280]] |
| 1043 | |
| 1044 | ->''"..."hiding out" feels a lot like "waiting to die.""'' |
| 1045 | -->-- '''Linc D''', [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f7mz53eBY5s Pleasantries]]. |
| 1046 | |
| 1047 | ->''"Now, it may not make a lotta sense, but when have I ever been backed down from a bad idea, right? Now let's get this train wreck a-rollin'!"'' |
| 1048 | -->-- '''Strong Bad''', ''WebAnimation/HomestarRunner'' |
| 1049 | |
| 1050 | ->'''Gavin:''' Show's over, Lee. Turn-- Turn the camera off.\ |
| 1051 | '''Lee:''' What are you talking about?\ |
| 1052 | '''Gavin:''' Go and-- Go and post today's episode. Idiot.\ |
| 1053 | '''Lee:''' Gavin, I really don't see...\ |
| 1054 | '''Gavin:''' It's a show, Lee! It's an Internet TV show! Open your eyes; wake up. |
| 1055 | -->-- ''WebVideo/KateModern'', "Fictionality". |
| 1056 | |
| 1057 | ->''"Online you can get gorgeous models to do whatever you want; in real life, you're a loser with no friends."'' |
| 1058 | -->-- '''[[http://www.firstthings.com/article.php3?id_article=6105 Jason Byassee]]''' |
| 1059 | |
| 1060 | ->''"So, was it our plan to have a giant spaceship crash down on the blue base? No. But did we capitalize on that opportunity like a couple of bad-ass super soldiers, entrenched in a seemingly endless battle with our cerulean enemies? HELL YEAH!"'' |
| 1061 | -->-- '''Turf''', ''WebAnimation/RedVsBlueSeason14'' |
| 1062 | |
| 1063 | ->''"Knowing something intellectually and having a fucking gun pointed at you are two very different things."'' |
| 1064 | -->-- '''Jennie''', ''WebVideo/Lonelygirl15'', "Long Drive Home" |
| 1065 | |
| 1066 | ->''"If only there was a way to get someone who's better than you at a thing to do that thing '''for''' you."'' |
| 1067 | -->-- '''Tallahassee''', ''[[http://www.overcompensating.com/posts/20100329.html Overcompensating]]'' |
| 1068 | |
| 1069 | ->''"Truth hurts, ignorance kills"'' |
| 1070 | -->-- '''[[http://mysterieux936.deviantart.com/ Mysterieux936]]''' |
| 1071 | |
| 1072 | ->''"For instance, if developers had to go into a lengthy in-game explanation of why a fat middle age plumber from Brooklyn is the obvious choice to save a princess from a fire breathing dragon and his fearsome army of turtles (not that a fat middle aged plumber couldn’t do that of course), I dare say it would make the game so convoluted that it would detract somewhat from the overall experience. So gamers were just sort of expected to accept it, and that’s what we did."'' |
| 1073 | -->-- '''marc2020''', "[[http://goodmenproject.com/noseriouslywhatabouttehmenz/exploring-misandry-in-video-games-part-2-do-i-really-have-to-play-as-this-jerk/ Exploring Misandry in Video Games: Part 2, Do I really have to play as this jerk?]]" |
| 1074 | |
| 1075 | ->''"[[TheLongList Let's recap to make sure we got this straight, OK?]] Alright: You wait for randomly flashing staircases to appear, in which you try to find a randomly appearing key, which randomly appears within the randomly appearing staircases, and then try to collect a random number of cherries that randomly appear as you kick palm trees [...] It's just so random! You know? How many times have I used the word random and appear? But that's exactly what's happening! Stuff appears, or doesn't appear or randomly does something else! I feel like a guinea pig in an experiment where they're testing the effects of negative reinforcement!"'' |
| 1076 | -->-- '''WebVideo/TheAngryVideoGameNerd''', during his ''[[http://cinemassacre.com/2009/12/03/little-red-hood/ Little Red Hood]]'' review |
| 1077 | |
| 1078 | ->''"I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON ANYMORE BUT I AM ENTERTAINED AS FUCK."'' |
| 1079 | -->-- '''Random Website/YouTube comment''' on [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UcKb0rwhWZE episode 6]] of ''WebAnimation/InfernoCop'' |
| 1080 | |
| 1081 | ->''"I plan on being an organ donor because medical literature has taught me that I can possess the person who received my organs and use them as a vessel while I exact my terrible revenge on the world."'' |
| 1082 | -->-- '''Random comment''' on ''Website/{{Cracked}}'''s [[http://www.cracked.com/article_21390_pe-brain-bank.html "Horrific Things You Learn Preserving Brains for a Living"]] |
| 1083 | |
| 1084 | ->''"I cannot help you if your problem is '''"OOOH, EVERYTHING IS SHIT!"''', because that is mine as well."'' |
| 1085 | -->-- '''Marneus Calgar''', ''WebAnimation/IfTheEmperorHadATextToSpeechDevice'' |
| 1086 | |
| 1087 | ->''"Our story, of course, begins with young [[Series/The100 Finn]] falling in love with the main character, something I would never recommend that you do. It pretty much means that you're devoting your whole life to creating dramatic situations for another person, and the most dramatic thing you can do is ''die''."'' |
| 1088 | -->-- '''WebVideo/{{STAR}}''', ''Basically: Finn'' |
| 1089 | |
| 1090 | ->''"I just love dinner scenes like this where everything is going great, and then someone says something that queues in the '''unsettling music''' and everyone suddenly becomes distant and mysterious, like they've never even known each other."'' |
| 1091 | -->-- '''WebVideo/JonTron''' on ''Series/Goosebumps1995'' |
| 1092 | |
| 1093 | ->''"...And you know how you can ''prove'' race doesn't matter? Because no matter where you go, in every soup kitchen, in every homeless shelter, you will find people of every gender, of every race, of every sex, but you're not gonna find a millionaire, sitting in a soup kitchen, and you're not gonna find a poor motherfucker, sitting in a mansion! That's how you know where the power balance is."'' |
| 1094 | -->-- '''Chris Ray Gun''', ''[[https://youtu.be/K98dYZh_pnM?t=9m7s Shut Up, Wesley - THE WIL WHEATON STAR WARS RANT]]'' |
| 1095 | |
| 1096 | ->''"When you think about it, air goes into the engine, and then comes straight back out. So really, whenever you're in a plane, it's always farting. It's a consistent fart, across the Atlantic."'' |
| 1097 | -->-- '''WebVideo/EmmaBlackery''', ''[[https://youtu.be/ama5rt89vWk?t=4m45s ASK EMMA 13]]'' |
| 1098 | |
| 1099 | ->''"Geez, with as many Nazi sabotages and assassinations that take place in this thing, it's a wonder the entire United States military didn't completely fall apart by the second issue."'' |
| 1100 | -->-- '''[[WebVideo/AtopTheFourthWall Secret Origins Month]]''', five stories into ''ComicBook/CaptainAmerica Comics'' #1 |
| 1101 | |
| 1102 | ->''Then there are my ideas about how to save asswads of money and trouble. Take washing forks. Tough, right? You need a dishwasher. Too expensive for me! So what I'll do is put all my dirty forks in the turlet and flush it like five times. Flush! Flush! Flush! Then I'll throw all my forks away! EEZ-EE! They're out of my hair, not my problem. I'm not going to use forks that have been floating around in my turlet water! Then I'll just get new forks... Kah-LEEN!'' |
| 1103 | -->-- ''Website/TheOnion'', "I've Got A Lot Of Bad Ideas" |
| 1104 | |
| 1105 | ->'''Anonymous asked:''' Most predators will have reason to kill, such as for food, or to protect their young. The horse is one of the few predators to kill purely for sport.\ |
| 1106 | '''girlbian:''' This is......a lesbian positivity blog |
| 1107 | -->-- found on '''Website/{{Tumblr}}''' |
| 1108 | |
| 1109 | ->''"Imagine you walked up to a man -- let's call him Johnny -- and you cut off his leg. You know. Regular stuff."'' |
| 1110 | -->-- '''Just a Pancake''', ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MMwQtFEsIZw Explaining the Lauriam-Marluxia confusion]]'' |
| 1111 | |
| 1112 | ->''"And then they died."'' |
| 1113 | -->-- '''Christopher and/or Adam''' reciting a recurring RunningGag on ''[[TabletopGame/SentinelsOfTheMultiverse The Letters Page Podcast]]'' |
| 1114 | |
| 1115 | ->''"I'm going to save this thread and link to it the next time someone tells me that the themes I put in [[Webcomic/TheOrderOfTheStick the comic]] are so simple and obvious that I shouldn't be bothering expressing them, because everyone already knows that you shouldn't kill people for being different than you."'' |
| 1116 | -->-- '''[[Webcomic/TheOrderOfTheStick Rich Burlew]]''', [[http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?331495-Is-killing-black-dragons-evil&p=17002999&viewfull=1#post17002999 "Is killing black dragons evil?"]] |
| 1117 | |
| 1118 | ->''"[[BigYes YEEEESS!]] YES BABY! LET'S FUCKING GO! YES! Believe in yourself, don't ever give up, don't let [[VideoGame/SuperMario64 this fucking game]] keep you down, you get up every fucking time! You get up, and you fight, and you fight, and it's gonna take a [unintelligible] and that fucking shit to keep you down! You keep getting up, man. You keep getting up, you keep putting in the time, you keep putting in the effort, and it fucking happens, man. You keep fighting, and you punch, and you punch, and you create a crack, and then you finally bust through that motherfucker! YOU BUST THROUGH IT! '''ALL THE WAY THROUGH IT!'''"'' |
| 1119 | -->-- '''[=LunarJump=]''', [[https://youtu.be/qbu-RKz5SOk?t=975 "Best Of Skills In Speedrunning 2018"]] |
| 1120 | |
| 1121 | ->''"Patches are always the defining factor as to what lies in the meta and what doesn't, with some patches being as small as a bugfix and a change in Gold costs to some patches being the funeral for a cocky bird... And like clockwork, this keeps the wheel turning. Things fall out of the meta, things fall into the meta and most of us just fall apart. Some patches favour control mages and some favour assassins, and as the wheel turns everyone gets a chance in the spotlight. Sounds simple, right? '''Wrong''', because some characters are strong enough to balance on top of the fucking wheel like Shaggy and Scooby-Doo ''riding a god-damn barrel. |
| 1122 | -->-- '''Skooch''', referring to [[VideoGame/LeagueOfLegends Syndra]], ''Can We Talk About This?'' |
| 1123 | |
| 1124 | ->''"You've nothing to fear. My lawyers have advised me that killin' my daughter to get out of paying medical bills would likely cause more problems than it'd solve."'' |
| 1125 | -->-- '''Mr. Yuki''', ''WebVideo/SwordArtOnlineAbridged'' |
| 1126 | |
| 1127 | ->"Raising your companion from the dead now takes a spell slot (so long as you do so within an hour of its death), allowing you throw your companion into combat with little regard for its safey confident in the knowledge that you can bring it right back to life good as new. Obviously that's a horrible way to treat an animal that you're supposed to be emotionally bonded with, but this is a game, your companion is a class feature, and as a DM I wouldn't make a fighter spend 8 hours feeding a wild longsword table scraps until they were friends." |
| 1128 | -->-- '''[=RPGBot.net=]''', on ''TabletopGame/DungeonsAndDragons''' Beast Master subclass for the Ranger |
| 1129 | |
| 1130 | ->'''Eggman:''' Do you see this? This is the diamond that I am going to give to my brand new husband, and/or wife. It'll be theirs for the rest of time, with the Gamecube 2! So if you want-- ''[[[InterruptedByTheEnd video ends]]]''\ |
| 1131 | '''Sonic:''' Woah, he's bisexual? I didn't know that--\ |
| 1132 | '''Eggman:''' By the way, I'm bisexual! I forgot-- I forgot to announce it-- [--How do you turn this shit off? Wait...--] |
| 1133 | -->-- ''WebVideo/RealTimeFandub'', ''[[VideoGame/SonicRiders "Sonic Riders"]]'' |
| 1134 | |
| 1135 | ->'''Jeff Greenbase:''' Some people are saying you're exploiting your disability. How do you respond to that?\ |
| 1136 | '''The Armless Guy:''' Well, I've been found out! Put the handcuffs on me and take me away!\ |
| 1137 | '''Jeff Greenbase:''' Does it bother you at all?\ |
| 1138 | '''The Armless Guy:''' Not really, because it seems like people only say that stuff online and I don't go online that often. No one ever bothers to tell me that stuff face-to-face because it'd be awkward for them. So I'll just stick to telling armless jokes and they can keep exploiting their hands for typing criticism. |
| 1139 | -->-- ''WebAnimation/MinilifeTV'', "Recap/MinilifeChroniclesTheArmlessGuy" |
| 1140 | |
| 1141 | ->"You know, this is why no one likes you! You're so judgmental and all you care about is a storyline that actually makes sense! ''[scoff]'' You sicken me!" |
| 1142 | -->-- '''Mario''' to '''Diddy Kong''', ''WebVideo/StacheBros'', "Mario & Luigi! Stache Bros - Episode 2-6 - Petey Pirahna Strikes Back" |
| 1143 | |
| 1144 | ->'''Lenin:''' ''[on his deathbed]'' Hey man. Tell whoever is in charge of giving people jobs not to let that jerk Stalin become the next leader. By the way, who did I put in charge of giving people jobs?\ |
| 1145 | '''Assistant:''' That would be... Stalin, sir. |
| 1146 | -->-- ''WebAnimation/OverSimplified'', on the end of the Russian Revolution |
| 1147 | |
| 1148 | ->'''Captain Matias Torres:''' Ahoy me mateys, it be me, Captain Torres, as I'm here to tell you that you can prevent like 99% of all wars by nuking the capital of Osea. I learned about ye knowledge while stuck under the sea for 698 days while only being able to watch virtual [=YouTuber=] content and now I'm as sane as any old scurvy dog on this ship! Yar har har, it's my mental illness so I get to choose the coping mechanism.\ |
| 1149 | '''Torres:''' Yo ho ho, on the sea we go, send this bomb and away they blow, for salvation we fight and the truth we know, I will kill again and again for this virtual ho.\ |
| 1150 | '''[=Max0r=]:''' Also, um, as funny as my pirate voice is, uh, the real voice actor for Torres is even better than that.\ |
| 1151 | '''Torres:''' Yar har har, and here we are, we surrender please don't fucking kill us.\ |
| 1152 | '''David North:''' Okay, but you'll have to, like, hand over the anime and the nuke.\ |
| 1153 | ''[beat]''\ |
| 1154 | '''Torres:''' The what\ |
| 1155 | '''North:''' The fucking nuke, Torres, what else would I be talking about?\ |
| 1156 | '''Torres:''' No, no no no no no, the other thing.\ |
| 1157 | '''North:''' The anime?\ |
| 1158 | ''[beat]''\ |
| 1159 | '''North:''' Torres, you have to hand that shit over, it's like a hazard.\ |
| 1160 | ''[beat]''\ |
| 1161 | '''Clown Torres:''' WE LIVE IN A SOCIETY\ |
| 1162 | '''Clown Torres:''' IF I CAN'T WATCH [[{{WebAnimation/Hololive}} MARINE-CHAN]] ON YOUTUBE DOT COM THEN NO ONE ELSE WILL\ |
| 1163 | ''[Alicorn fires its main gun]''\ |
| 1164 | '''Clown Torres:''' FUCK I MISSED\ |
| 1165 | '''Clown Torres:''' KILL THAT MUTE SONOFABITCH RIGHT NOW MAKE HIS SCREEN SHAKE A LOT\ |
| 1166 | '''Clown Torres:''' I WILL FLOOD THE BACK OF THIS SUBMARINE TO GIVE THE GUN THE ELEVATION IT NEEDS\ |
| 1167 | '''Clown Torres: [=OnE mIlLiOn LiVeS=]'''\ |
| 1168 | '''Clown Torres:''' YOU SHOULD HAVE JUST LET ME KEEP MY ANIME YOU FUCKING SCUM |
| 1169 | -->-- '''WebVideo/Max0r''''s ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iL2KFkNVzLg An Incorrect Summary of Ace Combat 7]]'' |
| 1170 | |
| 1171 | ->'''Volgin:''' I no longer need you, EVA! Your [=OnlyFans=] is enough to fund communism 1000 times over! ''[kicks EVA]''\ |
| 1172 | '''Naked Snake:''' Cringe...! What the ''fuck'' are you saying?!\ |
| 1173 | '''Volgin:''' How about I lay it out in a way that you can understand, you unfresh bonobo. Communism is when the government gives people healthcare, and the more healthcare the government gives, the more ''communister'' it is. My plan is to use this money to give healthcare to every man, woman, and child in the world, and therefore force them to adopt communism. I will ensure that the government takes every toothbrush, every iPhone, and every stock market, and burns them along with every starving Ukranian. Once the Soviet Union stands supreme as leader of the world's nations and the top provider of healthcare, I will rename the earth to Venezuela and inflate our currency until the end of time. To destroy all of the small business owners and mom-and-pop landlords, I have my Shagohod tank, which will rain a nuclear fire upon a new, red, world! You will fight me now, Snake, and I will win, for a specter is haunting Europe! ''[to The Boss]'' Take the [=OnlyFans=] somewhere safe. I have one last loose end to deal with.\ |
| 1174 | '''Ocelot:''' In capitalist America, d-do you think that a-a-an ocelot and a snake... c-could find love? ...It... is it possible?\ |
| 1175 | ''[beat]''\ |
| 1176 | '''Snake:''' That's cringe.\ |
| 1177 | '''Ocelot:''' okay bye ''[dramatically leaps out of the plane]'' '''AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH''' |
| 1178 | -->-- '''WebVideo/Max0r''''s ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tcInGlf-iP0 An Incorrect Summary of Metal Gear Solid 3]]'' |
| 1179 | |
| 1180 | ->'''Urizen:''' You are too late, Donatello. I have finally constructed the ''TAX EVASION APPLE'', AND, once consumed, THE PAPERWORK will be sent within 14 business days, by my mediocre secretary.\ |
| 1181 | '''Dante:''' What do you even need this money for, huh, Vergil? It doesn't make any sense!\ |
| 1182 | '''Urizen:''' You would not understand. THOUSANDS of dollars are STOLEN from me to build ROADS and ORPHANAGES. How else can decent men gatekeep Build-A-Bear Workshop? Though we are brothers, Dante, you call me by the wrong name. My true name NOW is- ''[grabs the apple]''\ |
| 1183 | '''Dante:''' NO!!!\ |
| 1184 | '''Urizen:''' JEFF BEZOS\ |
| 1185 | ''[Jeff Bezos consumes the apple]''\ |
| 1186 | '''Jeff Bezos:''' It's fucking delicious, Dante. I can already feel the B U R D E N OF TAXES... FALLING OFF OF MY BODY. IT'S TIME, DANTE, TO FINALLY... END THIS. |
| 1187 | -->-- '''WebVideo/Max0r''''s ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WykFCYIDSbQ An Incorrect Summary of Devil May Cry 5 (part 2)]]'' |
| 1188 | |
| 1189 | ->'''Sundowner/Jeff Bezos:''' Well, well, well, if it ain't the feds!\ |
| 1190 | '''Raiden:''' Unhand these brains, Jeff! They're children!\ |
| 1191 | '''Jeff Bezos:''' Hey, kids are cruel, Jack! They just lose ''touch'' with it at the ripe old age of twelve.\ |
| 1192 | '''Raiden:''' wait what\ |
| 1193 | '''Jeff Bezos:''' War crime this, can't eat the drywall that... Microwaving mice is wrong, they say!\ |
| 1194 | '''Raiden:''' What the fuck?!\ |
| 1195 | '''Jeff Bezos:''' Not to worry! Kids love video games, that's why I got 'em all set up spinning the wheel on my favorite gacha games! How else is a man supposed to make his... [[VideoGame/GenshinImpact Impact]]?\ |
| 1196 | '''Raiden:''' [[PoweredByAForsakenChild You refrigerated a preschool]] [[PerverseSexualLust for fucking jpegs]]!\ |
| 1197 | '''Jeff Bezos:''' Eh, heh, heh, heh... You think I made the market for Ganyu, Jack? Like every casino is just a big ol' conspiracy? ...BULLSHIT! Gambling's just a part of who we are! I just market it to sexy children! ''[creepy pedo laugh]'' Besides, demand for my product is about to skyrocket, ''like the good ol' days after nine-eleven!''\ |
| 1198 | '''Raiden:''' Wait a minute, nine-eleven is bad!\ |
| 1199 | '''Jeff Bezos:''' Speak for yourself... Let's debate this on the roof!\ |
| 1200 | ''[Raiden heads to the roof]''\ |
| 1201 | '''Jeff Bezos:''' Looks like you're a gacha player at heart!\ |
| 1202 | '''Raiden:''' [[TakeThat Is that because of my brain damage]]?\ |
| 1203 | '''Jeff Bezos:''' No, it's because you go after children! And there ain't enough room in this preschool for the two of us! Like I said... Kids are cruel, Jack, and I LOVE minors!\ |
| 1204 | '''Senator Steven Armstrong:''' Well, if it isn't Sussy Jack. ''[[[{{Corpsing}} has a mental breakdown]]]''\ |
| 1205 | '''Raiden:''' Bro, are you high?\ |
| 1206 | '''Armstrong:''' Let me check... Yes. High on American spirit. And there's nothing more American- ''[has another mental breakdown]''\ |
| 1207 | ''[test pattern]''\ |
| 1208 | '''Armstrong:''' And there's nothing more American than shooting a man in this Walmart™ of a world.\ |
| 1209 | '''Raiden:''' What is Walmart?\ |
| 1210 | '''Armstrong:''' It's Heaven, Raiden. Check the internet lately?\ |
| 1211 | '''Boris:''' Raiden- hop on Twitter. You need to see this.\ |
| 1212 | '''Raiden:''' Fuck I hate this website.\ |
| 1213 | '''Boris:''' It's all fucking weebshit Raiden! It doesn't make any sense! They're being distracted with utter nonsense!\ |
| 1214 | '''Armstrong:''' These baboons don't even know they're at war with Pakistan.\ |
| 1215 | '''Raiden:''' This one's calling me a '''Redditor'''.\ |
| 1216 | '''Armstrong:''' And that's just the beginning. E-girls, gacha, memes... [[BreadAndCircuses all just petty distractions so real men can get down to business]].\ |
| 1217 | '''Raiden:''' [[VideoGame/AmongUs AMOGUS]].\ |
| 1218 | '''Armstrong:''' And as you know, American Imperialism is absolutely justified because we had a black President once. Before I fucking killed him!\ |
| 1219 | '''Raiden:''' That's a nice argument senator, why don't you back it up with a source?\ |
| 1220 | '''Armstrong:''' My source is that I made it the fuck up! Imagine a world, Raiden, free of cancel culture, where no one can call me out for my outlandish claims! A world where I '''CAN SAY THE N-WORD'''!!\ |
| 1221 | ''[beat]''\ |
| 1222 | '''Raiden:''' [[FlatWhat what]]\ |
| 1223 | '''Raiden:''' Typical politician. All cock, but no cum!\ |
| 1224 | '''Armstrong:''' what\ |
| 1225 | '''Raiden:''' Land of opportunity, American Dream... it's all bullshit! The success of a nation is determined by materialistic and socioeconomic factors. Read a fucking book!\ |
| 1226 | '''Armstrong:''' Eh, heh, heh... The truth, then. Us politicians... aren't so trustworthy. We'll steal, make shit up, even lie to our voters.\ |
| 1227 | '''Raiden:''' That's crazy!\ |
| 1228 | '''Armstrong:''' I know it's very hard to believe, but that's just what the USA is all about, Jack! Not hiding our theft and murder, but embracing it. Whether it's votes, whether it's money... ''especially'' money. Fuck all these limp dick [=YouTubers=] and chicken shit Redditors. Fuck this 24/7 Internet spew of Discord and Vtuber BULLSHIT!! I'm gonna build a new future Jack, one where we won't have to hide our stealing from anyone. And for that, I want you by my side, to build a world truly free from the consequences of our actions, just like the Founding Fathers intended. What do you say, Raiden? Why not try to say it? Just once?\ |
| 1229 | ''[Raiden gets up and composes himself''\ |
| 1230 | '''Raiden:''' I was wrong about you senator. You're not cringe...\ |
| 1231 | ''[Raiden and Armstrong shake hands]''\ |
| 1232 | '''Raiden:''' ...''you're just fucking racist''!!\ |
| 1233 | '''Raiden:''' I've always said my sword was a tool of justice. Not a weapon, but a way to bring back [[WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy those good old fashioned values upon which we used to rely]]. But ''this''... isn't my sword... it's a fucking mistake. |
| 1234 | -->-- '''WebVideo/Max0r''''s ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TgmTsa3rFU0 An Incorrect Summary of Metal Gear Rising (part 2)]]'' |
| 1235 | |
| 1236 | ->''Who, as an adolescent geek, did not plot out their own intricate but incoherent sagas of {{superhero}}es, or [[OurElvesAreDifferent elves]], or [[OurVampiresAreDifferent vampires]], or {{space marine}}s? We may look back on our early creative endeavours with embarrassment; this is why I have avoided mentioning any of Hinph's members by name. But deep down, I think that most of us harbour a degree of nostalgia for that stage of imaginative development. As one of the most famous juvenile fantasists of all once put it, [[ComicStrip/CalvinAndHobbes "it's a magical world, Hobbes, ol' buddy..."]]'' |
| 1237 | -->-- '''Doris V. Sutherland''', ''[[https://womenwriteaboutcomics.com/2016/12/the-last-resurrection-and-millennial-adolescence/ The Last Resurrection and Millennial Adolescence]]'', womenwriteaboutcomics.com |
| 1238 | |
| 1239 | ->''"[[Literature/TheFourGospels Eat of this bread for it is my flesh]]. Drink of this wine for it is [[TabletopGame/Warhammer40000 BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD]]."'' |
| 1240 | -->-- '''[[https://www.reddit.com/r/badhistory/comments/3cydgb/jesus_is_horus_bad_religious_history_making_the/ct09ht8/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=web2x&context=3 wildebeestsandangels]]''' in ''[=r/badhistory=]'' on Website/{{Reddit}} |
| 1241 | |
| 1242 | ->''"I hate literally every step in the filmmaking process. The only thing I hate more than making a film is not making a film."'' |
| 1243 | -->-- '''WebVideo/{{Defunctland}}''' on Twitter |
| 1244 | |
| 1245 | ->''"Oh God, a surprise werewolf attack! I shoulda expected this!"'' |
| 1246 | -->--'''LetsPlay/{{Videogamedunkey}}''', [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q6yHoSvrTss "Ultimate Skyrim"]] |
| 1247 | |
| 1248 | ->''"When did this release?" Hold on, let me get the ''Portal Runner'' release date... ''Portal Runner'' was released [[UsefulNotes/TheWarOnTerror September 11, 2001]]... And I am not joking, the timing for this game is actually horrible. Yep, the uh... release date is very unfortunate...'' |
| 1249 | -->-- '''Shenpai''' before [[https://youtu.be/I2ccQ-M1Mg8?si=ftEcbTjxoLm1idko playing]] ''VideoGame/PortalRunner'' |
| 1250 | [[/folder]] |
| 1251 | |
| 1252 | [[folder:Western Animation]] |
| 1253 | ->''"Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt."'' |
| 1254 | -->-- '''[[MadScientist Obake]]''', ''WesternAnimation/BigHero6TheSeries'', "[[Recap/BigHero6TheSeriesS1E12KentuckyKaiju Kentucky Kaiju]]" |
| 1255 | |
| 1256 | ->''"They say only the good die young. If it works the other way too, I'm immortal."'' |
| 1257 | -->-- '''Dogbert''', ''WesternAnimation/{{Dilbert}}'', "The Shroud of Wally" |
| 1258 | |
| 1259 | -> ''"Calling all units, calling all units. A squad of bikini models is being held hostage inside a donut shop. Proceed with caution."'' |
| 1260 | -->-- '''Elise''', ''WesternAnimation/DanVs'', "The Dinosaur" |
| 1261 | |
| 1262 | ->''"She surrendered her individuality for a boy. I'm so proud of her."'' |
| 1263 | -->-- '''Paulina''', ''WesternAnimation/DannyPhantom'', "Memory Blank" |
| 1264 | |
| 1265 | ->''"M. Bersback, Ember's back. That's not a clue, that's a billboard."'' |
| 1266 | -->-- '''Sam''', ''WesternAnimation/DannyPhantom'', "Pirate Radio" |
| 1267 | |
| 1268 | ->'''Elise:''' You want me to kill it? What happened to humanly capture.\ |
| 1269 | '''Boss:''' The people need to know their government can protect them from all enemies. Be it foreign, domestic, or prehistoric.\ |
| 1270 | '''Elise:''' But, sir that doesn't seem moral.\ |
| 1271 | '''Boss:''' Neither is selling guns to third world countries. Whats your point? |
| 1272 | -->-- ''WesternAnimation/DanVs'', "The Dinosaur" |
| 1273 | |
| 1274 | ->'''Danny:''' Divorce? What?! Jazz, did you just hear that?\ |
| 1275 | '''Jasmine:''' Hear what? Mom yelling at Dad? Relax, she’ll get over it.\ |
| 1276 | '''Danny:''' Yeah, but I-I have never heard her so mad!\ |
| 1277 | '''Jasmine:''' Of course she’s mad, and if I’m right, Dad will once again cluelessly do nothing to apologize to her.\ |
| 1278 | '''[[BumblingDad Jack]]:''' That’s where you’re wrong, Jasmine. I have been a little preoccupied with ghosts lately, so I’m traveling to your Aunt Alicia’s in Spittoon, Arkansas to apologize, and give your mother the greatest anniversary gift ever! Wish me luck! Oh, and call me if you see a ghooooost!\ |
| 1279 | '''Danny:''' Jazz? Are Mom and Dad gonna split up?\ |
| 1280 | '''Jasmine:''' I was… wrong?\ |
| 1281 | '''Danny:''' Jazz? Jazz!\ |
| 1282 | '''Jasmine:''' Wait. He’s going to Arkansas? To apologize? I was wrong? |
| 1283 | -->-- ''WesternAnimation/DannyPhantom'', "Prisoners of Love" |
| 1284 | |
| 1285 | ->''"I don’t understand. Every piece of evidence I have indicates that [[BumblingDad Dad would never be self-aware enough to realize he made a mistake]]! If I’m wrong about this, what else could I have been wrong about?"'' |
| 1286 | -->-- '''Jasmine''', ''WesternAnimation/DannyPhantom'', "Prisoners of Love" |
| 1287 | |
| 1288 | ->'''Ohio:''' Care to come with us?\ |
| 1289 | '''Baljeet look alike:''' And spoil my carefully calculated air of selfishness and unconcern? Not until the last second thank you very much. |
| 1290 | -->-- ''WesternAnimation/PhineasAndFerb'', "Phineas and Ferb and the Temple of Juatchadoon" |
| 1291 | |
| 1292 | ->''"There are ''so'' many reasons why that shouldn't have worked."'' |
| 1293 | -->-- '''Flash''', ''WesternAnimation/JusticeLeague'', "Hereafter" |
| 1294 | |
| 1295 | ->'''Dr. Venture''': That's ridiculous! There's no such thing as Santa Claus! \ |
| 1296 | '''Dr. Orpheus''': Not since he was killed by a jet in 1963, no. Nor has there been a Krampus since the pope cast him into purgatory during Vatican II. But your boys seem to have inadvertently released him from his chains. \ |
| 1297 | '''Hank''': Dean did it! I wanted to read the Grinch! |
| 1298 | -->-- ''WesternAnimation/TheVentureBrothers'' |
| 1299 | |
| 1300 | ->''"Thanks, but no thanks, Major Stupidity. You and General Nonsense will have to carry on without me."'' |
| 1301 | -->-- '''Squidward''', ''WesternAnimation/SpongebobSquarepants'' |
| 1302 | |
| 1303 | ->'''Eggplant Wizard''': No! Wait! It was an accident! |
| 1304 | ->'''King Hippo''': Oh, I'll give you an accident on purpose! |
| 1305 | -->-- ''WesternAnimation/CaptainNTheGameMaster'' |
| 1306 | |
| 1307 | ->''"Arnold, it's art vs commerce, and commerce always wins. I saw it on a Wall Street show."'' |
| 1308 | -->-- '''Gerald''', ''WesternAnimation/HeyArnold'', "Runaway Float" |
| 1309 | |
| 1310 | ->'''SuperVillain Mandark:''' Nooooo! I always wanted the Core!\ |
| 1311 | '''CorruptCorporateExecutive Mandark:''' Nooooo! I ''stole'' the Core!\ |
| 1312 | '''EvilOverlord Mandark:''' Nooooo! The Core is ''mine!''\ |
| 1313 | '''BrainInAJar Mandark:''' Nooooo! Just because I'm bitter and jealous! |
| 1314 | -->-- ''WesternAnimation/EgoTrip'' |
| 1315 | |
| 1316 | ->''"My life's work. Decades (mm, centuries, really) of research and experimentation, and I -- I nearly had it cracked!... Turns out there's a magic spell for it. Who knew?" |
| 1317 | -->-- '''Doctor Whooves''', "[[Recap/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagicS5E9SliceOfLife Slice]] [[LowerDeckEpisode of]] [[MilestoneCelebration Life]]" |
| 1318 | |
| 1319 | ->''"You can't treat the working man this way! One day we'll form a union and get the fair and equittable treatment we deserve! Then we'll go too far, and get corrupt and shiftless and the Japanese will eat us alive!"'' |
| 1320 | -->--'''1920's Power Plant worker''', ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons'' |
| 1321 | |
| 1322 | ->'''Tommy Turnbull:''' Gus, remind me again why I'm friends with you?\ |
| 1323 | '''Gus Bachman-Turner:''' Well, because without my scintillating personality, your life would be dull as dishwater, With no conflict there'd be no subplot, and with no subplot there's no CharacterDevelopment. |
| 1324 | -->--''WesternAnimation/RobotBoy'' |
| 1325 | |
| 1326 | ->''"He couldn't take it! King of the Beasts! Ha ha ha! Nero the Chicken-hearted! Ha ha ha!"'' |
| 1327 | -->-- '''WesternAnimation/BugsBunny''' (about Nero the Lion), "[[WesternAnimation/LooneyTunes Acrobatty Bunny]]" |
| 1328 | |
| 1329 | ->''"Drowning is my third favorite way to die, but they're all good."'' |
| 1330 | -->-- '''Creepy Susie''', ''WesternAnimation/TheOblongs'' |
| 1331 | [[/folder]] |
| 1332 | |
| 1333 | [[folder:Real Life]] |
| 1334 | ->''"This question is not about who got the short end of the stick. It’s the question of how to proceed with movement building based on our common struggles with homohaters...Rightwing and unprincipled people in the GLBT movement sometimes reflect the backwardness and ugliness of their societies. They contaminate our common struggle with tirades reflecting their transphobia, immigrant bashing, racism, islamophobia and misogyny. They degrade our struggle and create divisions based on their mistaken claim that one part of the movement is somehow more important than the rest."'' |
| 1335 | -->-- '''Bill Perdue''' on remembering Queer victims of the Holocaust. |
| 1336 | |
| 1337 | ->''"There are always lessons to be learned from the stupidity of others."'' |
| 1338 | -->-- '''Sean Hannity''', on the arrest of Rod Blagojevich. |
| 1339 | |
| 1340 | ->''"We were advertising computers, not baby-killing machines."'' |
| 1341 | -->-- '''David Mitchell''', responding to criticism of him and Robert Webb for advertising Mac computers. |
| 1342 | |
| 1343 | ->''"Never was so much shown by so few to so many."'' |
| 1344 | -->-- Attributed to an unknown officer of RAF Hornchurch in 1942, commenting on a performance of the "Windmill Girls" (Google search {{NSFW}}!). |
| 1345 | |
| 1346 | ->''"We're talking about story-telling, the most basic human need. Food? That's an animal need. Shelter? That's a luxury item that leads to social grouping, which leads directly to fancy scarves. But human awareness is all about story-telling. The selective narrative of your memory. The story of why the Sky Bully throws lightning at you. From the first, stories, even unspoken, separated us from the other, cooler beasts."'' |
| 1347 | -->-- '''[[http://whedonesque.com/comments/14650 Joss Whedon]]''' |
| 1348 | |
| 1349 | ->''"We've heard that a million monkeys at a million keyboards could produce the complete works of Shakespeare; now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true."'' |
| 1350 | -->-- '''Robert Wilensky''', University of California |
| 1351 | |
| 1352 | ->''"I am dying!"'' |
| 1353 | -->-- Mathematician '''Leonhard Euler''', last words |
| 1354 | |
| 1355 | ->''"I've been criticized for saying this, so let me say it again..."'' |
| 1356 | -->-- '''Bernie Sanders''' |
| 1357 | |
| 1358 | ->''"I don't like that man. I must get to know him better."'' |
| 1359 | -->-- '''Abraham Lincoln''' |
| 1360 | |
| 1361 | ->''"On two occasions I have been asked, — "Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?" In one case a member of the Upper, and in the other a member of the Lower, House put this question. I am not able rightly to apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question."'' |
| 1362 | -->-- '''Charles Babbage''', [[OlderThanTheyThink 1864]] |
| 1363 | |
| 1364 | ->''"I ought to be jealous of the tower. She is more famous than I am."'' |
| 1365 | -->-- '''Gustave Eiffel''', on [[EiffelTowerEffect his creation]]. |
| 1366 | |
| 1367 | ->''"On the morning of [[UsefulNotes/WorldWarII July 27, 1943]], I was told that, according to radio reports, [[UsefulNotes/FascistItaly fascism]] had collapsed and [[UsefulNotes/BenitoMussolini Mussolini]] was under arrest. When my mother sent me out to buy the newspaper, I saw that the papers at the nearest newsstand had different titles. Moreover, after seeing the headlines, I realized that each newspaper said different things. I bought one of them, blindly, and read a message on the first page signed by five or six political parties – among them the Democrazia Cristiana, the Communist Party, the Socialist Party, the Partito d’Azione, and the Liberal Party.\ |
| 1368 | \ |
| 1369 | Until then, I had believed that there was a single party in every country and that in Italy it was the Partito Nazionale Fascista. Now I was discovering that in my country several parties could exist at the same time. Since I was a clever boy, I immediately realized that so many parties could not have been born overnight, and they must have existed for some time as [[LaResistance clandestine organizations]].\ |
| 1370 | \ |
| 1371 | The message on the front celebrated the end of the dictatorship and the return of freedom: freedom of speech, of press, of political association. These words, “freedom,” “dictatorship,” “liberty,” – I now read them [[BrokenMasquerade for the first time in my life]]. I was reborn as a free Western man by virtue of these new words.\ |
| 1372 | \ |
| 1373 | We must keep alert, so that the sense of these words will not be forgotten again. Ur-Fascism is still around us, sometimes in plainclothes. It would be so much easier, for us, if there appeared on the world scene somebody saying, “I want to reopen [[UsefulNotes/TheHolocaust Auschwitz]], I want the Black Shirts to parade again in the Italian squares.” Life is not that simple. Ur-Fascism can come back under the most innocent of disguises. Our duty is to uncover it and to point our finger at any of its new instances – every day, in every part of the world."'' |
| 1374 | -->--'''Creator/UmbertoEco''', [[https://theanarchistlibrary.org/library/umberto-eco-ur-fascism Ur-Fascism]] |
| 1375 | |
| 1376 | ->...But I am very poorly today and very stupid and hate everybody and everything. One lives only to make blunders. |
| 1377 | -->--'''UsefulNotes/CharlesDarwin''', writing to Charles Lyell |
| 1378 | |
| 1379 | ->''Men are born ignorant, not stupid; they are made stupid by education.'' |
| 1380 | -->--'''Creator/BertrandRussell'''[[note]]... summing up the views of '''Claude Adrien Helvétius'''. Russell probably wasn't giving his own views here but paraphrasing those of Helvétius. He was writing this in [[https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/A_History_of_Western_Philosophy#Chapter_XXI._Currents_of_Thought_in_the_Nineteenth_Century "A History of Western Philosophy", Book III, Chapter XXI]].[[/note]] |
| 1381 | |
| 1382 | ->''One day the great European War will come out of some damned foolish thing in the Balkans.'' |
| 1383 | -->--'''Otto von Bismarck''' in 1888 |
| 1384 | [[/folder]] |
| 1385 | |
| 1386 | [[folder:Other]] |
| 1387 | ->''"When someone dies so young, the pity of it and the waste of it touch us all. But when he or she dies of AIDS, there should be anger as well as pity, and a resolve to fight this insidious disease and the prejudice it arouses, and not to rest until we have a cure."'' |
| 1388 | -->-- '''Carl''', ''The Laying on of Hands'' |
| 1389 | |
| 1390 | ->''"Thou who passest on this path,\ |
| 1391 | If haply thou dost mark this monument,\ |
| 1392 | Laugh not, I pray thee, though it is a dog's grave.\ |
| 1393 | Tears fell for me, and the dust was heaped above me\ |
| 1394 | By a master's hand."'' |
| 1395 | -->-- '''Greek epitaph''' |
| 1396 | |
| 1397 | ->'''Death''': SHALL WE GO? |
| 1398 | ->'''Buddy''': Where? |
| 1399 | ->'''Death''': WHERE DO YOU THINK? |
| 1400 | ->'''Buddy''': Heaven? |
| 1401 | ->'''Death''': HIGH OPINION OF YOURSELF. |
| 1402 | ->'''Buddy''': Hell? |
| 1403 | ->'''Death''': I DIDN'T SAY THE OPINION WAS UNJUSTIFIED. |
| 1404 | -->-- ''Pantheon'' |
| 1405 | |
| 1406 | ->''"It's a pretty damn hard act to follow." ''Normally that phrase is used because the last person was so good. This is more along the lines of'' "it's hard to follow that guy's act, because as he left he set the stage on fire. Literally."'' |
| 1407 | -->-- '''Anonymous commentator''', regarding recent events in ''Batman'' |
| 1408 | |
| 1409 | ->''"The lady didn't wait around,\ |
| 1410 | But lightly leapt upon the ground,\ |
| 1411 | Stood with her back before his nose,\ |
| 1412 | Lifted her tunic, touched her toes,\ |
| 1413 | And said, "[[LiteralAssKissing Your face goes here]], Sir Knight."\ |
| 1414 | But when her--"'' |
| 1415 | -->-- ''Unknown 13th century French poetry'', translated excerpt |
| 1416 | |
| 1417 | ->''"No, I swear it! I have a fully operational pulse! D: I enjoy walking at brisk paces! I can speak... somewhat coherently! They're just making the cranium sound like a convenient ice box for marshmallows and ice cream and lovely sweet things..."'' |
| 1418 | -->-- '''Hannah(Sarn)''' from ''the Website/NeopianTimesWritersForum'' |
| 1419 | |
| 1420 | ->''"Do not take life too seriously, you will never get out of it alive."'' |
| 1421 | -->-- '''Elbert Hubbard/Van Wilder/Bugs Bunny''' |
| 1422 | |
| 1423 | ->''"The Monster Mile in Dover, Delaware. It's called the Monster because it eats ''dreams''... Those who attempt to ride its spine, do so at their own peril. Its turns are like canyon walls; its straights bank steeper than many tracks' turns... Concentrate everywhere; rest ''nowhere''. Few leave here unscathed, in equipment or spirit; 500 miles anywhere else is a sunday-school picnic compared to 500 on the Monster. It's a rush like no other to bring the Monster down... but exhausting to fight it and lose..."'' |
| 1424 | -->-- '''Steve Evans''', Diamond-P Sports auto-racing reporter, referring to the [[TheDreaded infamous]] NASCAR track |
| 1425 | |
| 1426 | ->'''one-hell-of-a-sheep:''' why does Creator/{{oscar wilde}} take 150 pages to write something he could literally say in a paragraph\ |
| 1427 | '''biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:''' gay\ |
| 1428 | '''magicalballerinaprincess:''' compelling argument\ |
| 1429 | '''chaos-yet-harmony:''' what does this say about Creator/{{victor hugo}}\ |
| 1430 | '''biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:''' no he was just french\ |
| 1431 | '''jam-the-hologram:''' [[Creator/JRRTolkien R.R Tolkien]]?\ |
| 1432 | '''biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:''' autistic infodumping\ |
| 1433 | '''elden-12:''' Put this together and I dread to think how long a novel by an [[BreadEggsBreadedEggs autistic gay Frenchman]] would be. :p\ |
| 1434 | [''biggest-gaudiest-patronuses posts the cover of ''[[{{Doorstopper}} In Search of Lost Time]]'' by Creator/MarcelProust''] |
| 1435 | -->-- A Tumblr conversation |
| 1436 | [[/folder]] |
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