Line #16 Quotes/NeverMessWithGranny


1	[[AC:Film--Animation]]
2	->''"Ha! Not bad for a hunnert'n ninety-seven year-old blind lady!"''
3	-->-- '''Mama Odie''', ''WesternAnimation/ThePrincessAndTheFrog''
4
5	[[AC:Film--Live-Action]]
6	->''"Alright, now, you boys listen up and listen good. Now, I am declaring Granny Law, and if you do not obey Granny Law, I will paint your back porch red."''
7	-->-- '''Lucy Bobby''', ''Film/TalladegaNightsTheBalladOfRickyBobby''
8
9	[[AC:Literature]]
10	->'I told her that,' said Granny Weatherwax, who had walked nightly without fear in the bandit-haunted forests of the mountains all her life in the certain knowledge that the darkness held nothing more terrible than she was.
11	-->-- ''Literature/WitchesAbroad''
12
13	->'''Mightily Oats:''' You're really going to let a little old woman go out and fight monsters!?\
14	'''Mob:''' Why should we care what happens to a bunch of monsters?
15	-->-- ''Literature/CarpeJugulum''
16
17	->'''Tiffany Aching:''' But aren't there trolls and wolves and things?\
18	'''Granny Weatherwax:''' Oh, yes. Lots.\
19	'''Tiffany:''' And they don't try to attack you?\
20	'''Granny:''' ''[in a self-satisfied voice]'' Not anymore.
21	-->-- ''Literature/AHatFullOfSky''
22
23	->'''Joen:''' Welcome to my gates, Ista dy Chalion. I am the Mother of Jokona.\
24	'''Ista:''' Welcome to mine, Joen of Jokona. I am the Mouth of Hell.
25	-->-- ''Literature/PaladinOfSouls''
26
27	->'''Sanko:''' Where did you get that?\
28	'''Octavia:''' My grandson, Diego. Said he nearly killed himself using it, so he thought I might like it as a birthday present. He is now my favorite grandson.
29	-->-- ''Literature/TheZombieKnight''
30
31	->My stomach lurched - my old flame Cillian. And then it dropped away into a black pit of dread as a withered old hag of a woman followed her out: Shadea Saverna. With Byzant gone, she was now the oldest magus in existence, an elder adept of most forms of magic and a member of the Inner Circle. She was the Arcanum's foremost expert on blood sorcery and her interrogations were a gory legend. If I was scared of Cillian spotting me, then Shadea made me want to piss myself. If either caught sight of me, I was as doomed as a lame horse in a tannery. Spirit-bound blade or not, I wouldn't stand a chance. The more powerful the magus, the stronger the Gift, and the more their minds and bodies naturally resisted foreign magics. Shadea would be able to resist any mental attack long enough to burn me to ash with a flick of a finger.
32	-->-- ''Literature/TheTraitorGod,'' by Cameron Johnston
33
34	->I am obscurely pleased to discover that [[EvilMentor Ellis]] can still defend herself; even after [[TheDragon Huang]]’s first roundhouse put her on the pavement, she still somehow managed to slip her razor open without him noticing, then slide it shallowly across the back of his Achilles tendon. More painful than debilitating, but rather well done nevertheless, for a woman who can no longer wear shoes which require her to tie her own laces.
35	-->-- ''Literature/TheEmperorsOldBones,'' by Gemma Files
36
37	->''"Well, that's not something you see every day. Go tell your father that Grandma needs the grenades."''
38	-->-- '''Enid Healy''', ''Literature/InCryptid''
39
40	[[AC:Webcomics]]
41	->''"Such a sweet baby. I bet yer ma just loves ye ta bits, aye? I bet yer ma feels better knowin' thar's someone in yer pa's life who knows how ta take real good care o' ye--just in case she ev'r puts a scratch on 'im again an' yer Granma Sigdi needs ta '''end''' her."''
42	-->-- '''Sigdi''' to her newborn grandson, ''Webcomic/TheOrderOfTheStick'', [[https://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots1153.html "Family Meeting"]]
43
44	[[AC:Web Original]]
45	->''"And if you're wondering why Ultimate Nag didn't fear the PTA like Ms. Forehead did, it's because Ultimate Nag is a Japanese Obachan and they simply feel no fear nor pain of death. This is why you can't make a movie or anything featuring a little old Japanese lady in mortal danger, because it just doesn't work. You could have the monster from Aliens breathing it's hot, musty breath into the Japanese obasan's face, and then it would open its ferocious-toothed mouth and the little Alien head would emerge and also breathe it's hot, slimy breath on the obasan, and she'd just slap the shit outta both of them. And then she'd take the alien's seat on the train, cause that's how they roll."''
46	-->-- '''Azrael''', ''[[http://www.outpostnine.com/gaijin_smash/2006/10/chain-smoking.html Gaijin Smash]]''
47
48	->'''(651):''' It happened again.\
49	'''(612):''' What?\
50	'''(651):''' I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
51	-->-- ''WebSite/TextsFromLastNight''
52
53	->'''(973)''': You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".\
54	'''(908)''': That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
55	-->-- ''WebSite/TextsFromLastNight''
56
57	->''"If you boys had turned out to Nazis, Granny would've had to bust a cap in your ass!"''
58	-->-- '''Linkara''', ''WebVideo/AtopTheFourthWall'', ''ComicBook/CaptainAmerica #1'' review.
59
60	->''This is one of those tiny old Scottish women with a headscarf nailed on and muscles like steel wires. They are a common sight in the East of Scotland, and are almost immortal. Only the slow action of the wind off the north sea will gradually erode them.''
61	-->-- ''Website/NotAlwaysRight'', "[[https://notalwaysright.com/nothin-like-a-good-old-existential-meltdown/ Nothin' Like A Good Old Existential Meltdown]]"
62
63	[[AC:Western Animation]]
64	->''"I'll let you take the first swing, and if you don't put me down I'll beat the living shit out of you til my arthritis kicks in. And I just took my Humira."''
65	-->-- '''Rose''', ''WesternAnimation/TheVentureBros'', "The Bellicose Proxy"
66
67	->'''Korra:''' You were tossing [[PhysicalGod me]] around like a rag doll all day long.\
68	'''Toph:''' I know! And I'm an old lady! Imagine me in my prime [laughs] I would have ''destroyed'' you!
69	-->-- ''WesternAnimation/TheLegendOfKorra''
70
71	->''"A glutton for punishment always get his fill"''
72	-->--'''Granny Ruth''' after defeating Hertzog with a fruitcake, ''WesternAnimation/TheAdventuresOfSamAndMaxFreelancePolice''

Context Quotes / NeverMessWithGranny