Line #105 Quotes/MoralGuardians


1	->''"Consueta vitia ferimus, nova reprendimus." [[note]]We tolerate the usual vices but blame new ones.[[/note]]''
2	-->-- '''Publilius Syrus'''
3	----
4	[[foldercontrol]]
5	[[folder:Film -- Live-Action]]
6	->''If any form of pleasure is exhibited,\
7	Report to me and it shall be prohibited!\
8	I'll put my foot down; so shall it be!\
9	[[PeoplesRepublicOfTyranny This is the land of the free!]]''
10	-->-- '''[[Creator/MarxBrothers Groucho Marx]]''', ''Film/DuckSoup''
11
12	->''"They train young men to drop fire on people. But their commanders won't allow them to write 'fuck' on their airplanes [[SkewedPriorities because it is obscene.]]"''
13	-->-- '''Kurtz''', ''Film/ApocalypseNow''
14
15	->''"This is blasphemous literature! I'd rather Jessica be illiterate than to have her reading about defiant, perverse, Godless souls!"''
16	-->-- '''Jessica's Mother''', ''Film/ChildrenOfTheNight''
17
18	->''"My uncle Albert was balls-deep into Jesus. He thought Music/RickyMartin was heavy. He heard me cranking some Disemboweled Corpse and he hasn't slept for days."''
19	-->-- '''Brodie''', ''Film/{{Deathgasm}}''
20	[[/folder]]
21
22	[[folder:Literature]]
23	->''"Nearly all a poor bastard's desires are punishable by jail."''
24	-->-- '''Louis-Ferdinand Céline''', ''Journey to the End of the Night''
25
26	->''"Must be a yearning deep in human heart to stop other people from doing as they please. Rules, laws — [[FeelingOppressedByTheirExistence always for other fellow]]...always something they hated to see neighbors doing. Stop them 'for their own good' — not because speaker claimed to be harmed by it."''
27	-->-- ''Literature/{{The Moon Is a Harsh Mistress}}''
28
29	->''"WARNING:\
30	The following chapter contains scenes that are so intense and horrific, they may not be suitable for viewing by people who can't take a joke.\
31	If you are easily offended, or if you tend to blame all of society's evils on TV shows and cartoon characters, please run to your nearest supermarket and get a life. They're located in the "Get Real" section next to the clues.\
32	Good luck!"''
33	-->-- '''Chapter 21: The Incredibly Graphic Violence Chapter (in Flip-O-Rama)''', ''[[Literature/CaptainUnderpants Captain Underpants and the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants]]''
34
35	->''"There are people of so refined and delicate a nature, that they cannot bear the contemplation of such horrors... I did not, for these readers, abate one hole in the Dodger's coat, or one scrap of curl-paper in the girl's dishevelled hair. I have no faith in the delicacy which could not bear to look upon them. I have no desire to make proselytes among such people. I have no respect for their opinion, good or bad; did not covet their approval; and did not write for their amusement. I venture to say this without reserve, for I am not aware of any writer in our language having a respect for himself, or held in any respect by his posterity, who has ever descended to the taste of this fastidious class."''
36	-->-- ''From the prologue of Literature/OliverTwist''
37	[[/folder]]
38
39	[[folder:Live-Action TV]]
40	->''"Freedom of speech is one thing, the word '[[SexIsEvil penis]]' is another."''
41	-->-- '''Bill''', ''Series/NewsRadio'' ("The Injury")
42
43	->''"You know what, it's okay. If Creator/BillOReilly needs to have an enemy, he needs to feel persecuted, you know what, here's my Kwanzaa gift to him...I, Jon Stewart, hate Christmas, Christians, Jews, morality! And I will not rest until every year families gather to spend December 25th together at Osama's Homobortion Pot and Commie Jizzporium!"''
44	-->-- '''Creator/JonStewart'''
45	[[/folder]]
46
47	[[folder:Music]]
48	->''If the Bible doesn't back it\
49	Then it seems quite clear\
50	Perhaps it was the devil\
51	Who whispered in your ear''
52	-->--"Guilt By Association", '''Music/SteveTaylor'''
53
54	->''We're the morality Squad\
55	Armed with the wrath of God!\
56	My name is Granbo\
57	And here's my holy hot-rod!\
58	Freedom for all the people\
59	Brave, true and strong\
60	Freedom for all the people\
61	[[MoralMyopia Unless I think you're wrong!]]''
62	-->--"The Morality Squad", '''Music/{{GWAR}}'''
63	[[/folder]]
64
65	[[folder:Tabletop Games]]
66	-> ''"If anything in this book offends you, please feel free to buy and burn as many copies as you like. Volume discounts are available."''
67	-->-- ''Stalking the Night Fantastic'', Richard Tucholka
68	[[/folder]]
69
70	[[folder:Theatre]]
71	->''Trouble, oh we got trouble!\
72	Right here in River City!\
73	With a capital 'T'\
74	That rhymes with 'P',\
75	And that stands for Pool!\
76	We've surely got trouble!\
77	Right here in River City, right here!\
78	Gotta figure out a way\
79	To keep the young ones moral after school!''
80	-->--"Ya Got Trouble", '''''Theatre/TheMusicMan'''''
81	[[/folder]]
82
83	[[folder:Video Games]]
84	->''"The only time your children should be [[PlayingDoctor playing "Doctor"]] is when ''you'' break the other one's arm! If we don't teach our kids that our bodies are filthy, disgustin' and dirty, that women are sin, and that emotions ''can'' be suppressed by cold showers, how in the ''hell'' are they supposed to grow up well-adjusted?!"''
85	-->-- '''''Heartland Values with [[Series/DrPhil Nurse Bob]]''''', Radio/GTARadio
86	[[/folder]]
87
88	[[folder:Webcomics]]
89	->''"You're like the religious zealots who are ''burdened'' [[SmallNameBigEgo by their sad duty]] of decrying the ''[[NostalgiaFilter obvious]]'' [[TheNewRockAndRoll moral decay of each new generation]]...More harm has been done by people panicked over societal decline than societal decline ever did."''
90	-->-- '''''Webcomic/{{xkcd}}'''''
91
92	->'''Tycho:''' Faux-Outrage Did you know there's a '''mode''' in '''Duke Nukem''' where you '''slap''' a woman's '''bottom'''!?
93	->'''Gabe:''' Bored Did you know there's a mode in VideoGame/CallOfDuty where you murder, like, a million people? [[MoralMyopia It's called Call of Duty.]]
94	-->-- ''Webcomic/PennyArcade'', "[[http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2011/3/23/ One Of Many Possible Responses]]"
95	[[/folder]]
96
97	[[folder:Web Original]]
98	->family values: ''An abstract concept that is often made reference to by [[TheFundamentalist fundamentalist]] [[ActivistFundamentalistAntics fuckmuppets]] as a way to condemn working mothers, gay people, single parents, sex education, and anything else that wasn't on ''Series/LeaveItToBeaver''.''
99	-->-- '''''Website/UrbanDictionary'''''
100
101	->''"I will admit that I too am something of an outrage addict...Yes, the world is full of outrageous things — acts of astonishing dishonesty. But outrage, or, I should say, ''other people’s'' outrage is really, really tedious."''
102	-->-- '''[[http://www.salon.com/2014/01/28/my_personal_fox_news_nightmare_inside_a_month_of_self_induced_torture/ John Haggerty]]''', "My Personal Fox News Nightmare: Inside a Month of Self-Induced Torture"
103
104	->"WHAT IF I SEE MORE PENISES BECAUSE OF THIS?! WHAT THEN? THERE IS PENIS ON THIS COURT'S HANDS TODAY."
105	-->-- '''[[http://www.gq.com/story/antonin-scalia-supreme-court-gay-marriage Drew Magary]]''', ''"[[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antonin_Scalia Scalia]] Smash!: Our Ragiest Supreme Court Justice"''
106
107	->''"The football culture is obsessed with maturity. You’ll see that word tossed around on Twitter, and in draft reports, and all over pregame shows...the big red MATURITY siren goes off somewhere deep in the bowels of [[UsefulNotes/NationalFootballLeague league headquarters]], and Roger Goodell whips out [[BadBoss his emergency suspension letter-writing pen.]]\
108	I hate this. It’s like every football coach and fan out there is [[Series/TheWaltons Papa Walton]] or something. The entire SPORT of football is immature. It’s grown men treating a sport like war, which is the most childish behavior possible."''
109	-->-- '''''[[http://deadspin.com/maturity-is-horseshit-1676956087 Deadspin]]''''', "Maturity is Horseshit"
110
111	->''"Now and then it seems that banning is all they can do. It's all they seem to ''want'' to do. That's the problem with a free nation: you can't make yourself significant by granting freedoms, so you spend your time looking for freedoms to restrict in the name of a [[UtopiaJustifiesTheMeans greater good]], and there's ''always'' a greater good."''
112	-->-- '''James Lileks''', ''The Bleat'', [[http://lileks.com/bleat/?p=1334 "Thursday, March 05"]]
113
114	->''"Now it is hard to keep these groups apart, but any organization with “Family” in their name is guaranteed to be, shall we say, [[ChewbaccaDefense over the top.]]"''
115	-->-- ''Encyclopedia of American Loons'' [[http://www.americanloons.blogspot.com/2011/01/130-bryan-fischer.html on]] Bryan Fischer
116
117	->''"'{{Think of the children}}' being a slogan that almost completely forecloses any possibility of actually doing so. 'The children' are in the end a nebulously defined potential utopia severed from the lived experience of any actual people. They are non-existent but ideal citizens, defined by the very fact of their non-participation in sex or politics. When the child becomes an adult — i.e. an actual functioning citizen, they notably lose this aura of protection, rendering the [[{{Hypocrite}} ugly fallacy]] of this rhetoric clear."''
118	-->-- '''[[http://www.eruditorumpress.com/blog/outside-the-government-torchwood-children-of-earth-day-two/ Dr. El Sandifer]]'''
119
120	->''"Wertham wasn’t the only anti-comics hysteric, but he was the first to do a whole book out of the subject, and his testimony formed the bulk of the anti-comics portion of the 1953 juvenile delinquency hearings that ended up crippling the industry. Wertham’s testimony, equal parts irate nonsense and also book tour promotional stop for ''Seduction'', which had just come out, got half the mothers in the country terrified of just what comic books were doing to their poor, susceptible ''Series/LeaveItToBeaver'' [[TheFifties 1950s]] kids. His testimony contained no scientific data, was based on no credible research, and willfully misrepresented the content of the comics he was using as examples, but he brought with him [[KnowNothingKnowItAll the veneer of a very respectable doctor]] [[ThinkOfTheChildren fighting the good fight for the kids]]."''
121	-->-- '''[[http://www.rickworley.com/2012/06/22/fredric-wertham-douchebags-of-comics/ Rick Worley]]''' on ''[[MediaNotes/TheComicsCode Seduction of the Innocent]]''
122
123	->''"I was approached by several evangelical students who were gravely concerned that I might worship Satan and I'd better attend seminary quick before Beelzebub gets a devil set aside for me. I was even hauled before the principal and warned that I would be expelled for gambling (because of [[AllCrimesAreEqual the funny-shaped dice]]) if I didn't stop bringing [[TabletopGame/DungeonsAndDragons my devil books]]...Luckily we're beyond such crackpot theories now. Oh wait, people still think Franchise/HarryPotter is turning kids into witches. Never mind."''
124	-->-- '''[[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment Noah Antwiler]]''' [[http://spoonyexperiment.com/mazes-and-monsters/ on]] ''Film/MazesAndMonsters''
125
126	->''"When our Alexis felt weird after hearing someone discuss an idea that did not conform to her personally held beliefs, she had no place to turn," said Arnold Stigmore, standing outside the $2 million space that reportedly features soothing music, neutral-colored walls, oversized floor cushions, fun board games, and a variety of snacks. "God forbid any of you, in your years at this institution, are ever confronted with an opinion you do not share. But if you are, you will have a refuge on this campus."''
127	-->-- ''The Onion'', "[[http://www.theonion.com/article/parents-dedicate-new-college-safe-space-honor-daug-50851 Parents Dedicate New College Safe Space In Honor Of Daughter Who Felt Weird In Class Once]]"
128
129	->''"Kids, you can't see this, it's too much. Sure, you can see people getting blown up, eviscerated, and blood everywhere, but boobs?! HOW DARE YOU! '''HOW DARE YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT THAT?!'''"''
130	-->-- '''WebVideo/{{Markiplier}}''' playing ''VideoGame/HuniePop''
131
132	->''"Naughty shows. There are a lot of naughty shows on TV, whether it's sex, language, violence or bad writing. And the truth, which no one at the Parents Television Council will ever admit, is that bad writing (and bad acting and bad direction, but mostly bad writing) trumps sex, language, and violence for making a show bad. The critics – the real ones as opposed to amateurs like me – laud a show like ''{{Series/Dexter}}'' because of the writing and the acting and the directing. But of course the PTC doesn't care about the quality of stories. The PTC are a bunch of bean counters who enumerate the number of incidents of sexual content, expletives (deleted or not) and acts of violence. And it is of course the PTC which defines what constitutes a "violent act" or a "sexual encounter" or even tells us what an expletive is."''
133	-->-- ''[[http://childoftv.blogspot.com/2007/12/on-fifth-day-of-christmas.html Brent Mckee]]''
134
135	->[[Creator/RockstarGames Rockstar]] swiftly recalled, patched, and reissued [[VideoGame/GrandTheftAutoSanAndreas the game]], and the "Mature" rating was promptly restored, but if the history of moral panics has taught us anything, it's that complying with the moral panic is the least effective way to end it; it's showing weakness, isn't it? It's like saying to the frenzied shark, "If you promise not to bite all my arms and legs off, you can have this used tampon." Lawsuits got underway, Clinton introduced the [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Family_Entertainment_Protection_Act Family Entertainment Protection Act]] to federally enforce the ESRB ratings that would ultimately flounder like an armadillo in a ball pit, but it wasn't enough.\
136	\
137	Still brimming with huffy energy and not wanting to admit that this was all rooted in general frustration at losing control of a changing world and having nothing else to do all day but pick the kids up from soccer practice and shag the pool cleaner, the moral guardians extended their rage to Rockstar's next title, ''VideoGame/{{Bully}}'', a slightly quaint game about a rascally schoolboy, which they decided, [[ComplainingAboutShowsYouDontWatch sight unseen]], was some kind of loving tribute to the Columbine murderers. In perhaps the most hilarious episode of the time, a group apparently unironically calling themselves the "Peaceoholics" organized a protest at Rockstar's headquarters, even issuing [[https://web.archive.org/web/20051125164311/http://www.kotaku.com/gaming/rockstar/group-releases-rockstar-demands-115751.php a list of demands]], which is worth googling if you can do with a laugh, because their demands basically amount to "immediately sabotage your own business and admit responsibility for all human suffering and wrongdoing". I can't seem to find any information on what the Peaceoholics were threatening to do if their demands weren't met; presumably, they were going to get real fucking peaceful on these motherfuckers.
138	-->-- [[WebAnimation/ZeroPunctuation Yahtzee]], [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0y-RkiPhpPY The Hot Coffee Controversy]]
139
140	->''"So yeah, the 'Talking Angela' app was stripped of anything that made it unique, all due to a hoax and mass hysteria. [[SarcasmMode Well done, parents! You did it! You saved the children!]]"''
141	-->-- '''Diamondbolt''', [[https://youtu.be/jn_HZA5i0h8 "MORE OLD MOBILE GAMES!"]]
142
143	->''"I simply refuse to poison my Cristian children's precious minds with lascivious tales of daughters getting their father drunk and have sex with him ([[Literature/BookOfGenesis Genesis 19:30-38]]) - or harlots lusting after penises that are the size of donkeys' ([[Literature/BookOfEzekiel Ezekiel 23:20]]). It is, however, excellent for cracking nuts and slapping bottoms"''
144	-->-- '''Deven Green's''' (in her "Mrs. Betty Bowers, America's Best Christian" persona) [[https://i.imgur.com/ECW6zgG.jpg satirical Amazon review]] on the [[{{Irony}} King James Bible]]
145	[[/folder]]
146
147	[[folder:Western Animation]]
148	->''"If you're watching a TV show, and you decide to take your values from that, you're an idiot. Maybe you should take responsibility for what values your kids are getting. Maybe you shouldn't be letting your kids watch certain shows in the first place if you have such a big problem with them, instead of blaming the shows themselves.\
149	([[BreakingTheFourthWall looks directly at the audience]])\
150	[[TakeThat Yeeeeah.]]"''
151	-->-- '''Peter Griffin''', ''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy''.
152
153	->''"Call me a "killjoy", but I think that because this is not to my taste, [[IResembleThatRemark no one else should be able to enjoy it.]]"''
154	-->-- '''Marge''', ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons'' ("The Great Wife Hope")
155
156	->''"WON'T SOMEBODY '''''PLEASE''''' THINK OF THE CHILDREN?!!"''
157	-->-- '''Helen Lovejoy''', ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons''
158
159	-> ''(...)The smut we must stop,\
160	The trash we must smash,\
161	The laughter and fun\
162	Must all be undone.\
163	We must blame them and cause a fuss\
164	[[HypocriticalHumor Before somebody thinks of blaming us!]]''
165	--> "Blame Canada", ''WesternAnimation/SouthParkBiggerLongerAndUncut''
166	[[/folder]]
167
168	[[folder:Real Life]]
169	->''"Ask yourselves if this is the kind of book you would wish your wife [[ValuesDissonance or servants]] to read."''
170	-->-- From the court hearing against ''Literature/LadyChatterleysLover''
171
172	->''"There are those who so dislike the nude that they find something indecent in the naked truth."''
173	-->-- '''Francis Herbert Bradley'''
174
175	->''"Next to enjoying ourselves, the next greatest pleasure consists in [[StopHavingFunGuys preventing others from enjoying themselves]]...There is an element of the busybody in our conception of virtue: unless a man [[BotheringByTheBook makes himself a nuisance to a great many people]], we do not think he can be an exceptionally good man."''
176	-->-- '''Creator/BertrandRussell''', ''Sceptical Essays''
177
178	->''"There is perhaps no phenomenon which contains so much destructive feeling as 'moral indignation,' which permits envy or hate to be acted out [[KnightTemplar under the guise of virtue.]]"''
179	-->-- '''Erich Fromm''', ''Man for Himself: An Inquiry into the Psychology of Ethics''
180
181	->''"It would be better to live under robber barons than under [[LawfulStupid omnipotent moral busybodies.]]"''
182	-->-- '''Creator/CSLewis'''
183
184	->''"The lust to standardize and regulate extends to the most trivial minutia of everyday life."''
185	-->-- '''Creator/HLMencken'''
186
187	->''"I like a moral problem so much better than a real problem."''
188	-->-- '''Dr. Elaine May'''
189
190	->''"I agree with the minority of Christians who eschew {{Christian rock}} as 'the music of the devil', although not for the same reasons: it is immaterial whether Christian rock substitutes 'Jesus Christ' for 'Peggy Sue', permitting its listeners to associate putatively Christian music with secular music with [[IntercourseWithYou implied sexual content]]. It is diabolical...it is a form of idolatry."''
191	-->-- '''David "Spengler" P. Goldman''', ''[[http://www.atimes.com/atimes/Front_Page/HH29Aa01.html American Idolatry]]''
192
193	->''"I don't mind the homosexuality. I understand it. Nevertheless, goddamn, I don't think you glorify it on public television, homosexuality, even more than you glorify whores. We all know we have weaknesses. But, goddammit, what do you think that does to kids? You know what happened to the Greeks? [[HeteronormativeCrusader Homosexuality destroyed them!]] Sure, Aristotle was a homo. We all know that. So was Socrates!"''
194	-->-- '''UsefulNotes/RichardNixon''' on ''Series/AllInTheFamily'', White House tape transcripts (1971)
195
196	->''"If you disagree with these religious groups on a particular moral issue, they complain, they threaten you with a loss of money or votes or both. I'm frankly sick and tired of the political preachers across this country telling me as a citizen that if I want to be a moral person, I must believe in A, B, C and D. Just who do they think they are? And from where do they presume to claim the right to dictate their moral beliefs to me?"''
197	-->-- Sen. '''Barry Goldwater''' (R-AZ)
198
199	->''"But let's be clear about the kind of effect the Holy Spirit's Voice has on us. When He speaks to your heart, you don't end up feeling beat down, discouraged, and hopelessly flawed...If it feels like someone is shoveling wet cement onto your back and you're feeling more and more burdened with every word you read, then you're not hearing from the Holy Spirit. You're hearing from that nasty old deceiver Satan, or one of his many sordid friends."''
200	-->-- Religious blogger '''[[http://924jeremiah.wordpress.com/2014/03/21/stop-comparing-yourself-to-the-proverbs-31-woman/ Anna Diehl]]'''
201
202	->''"The quest for control is convoluted. If another person is [[{{Thoughtcrime}} thinking incorrectly]], it's already too late: we need to intervene earlier, to stop dangerous ideas at their source, before they go viral and take root in the fertile darkness of an unenlightened mind. The pop culture discourse in 2020 is remarkably haunted by the specter of the Cultural Idiot, an [[SuperGullible ultra-impressionable boogeyman]] nobody ever seems to have met but who we're sure exists. He's out there somewhere, just waiting for someone to drop an ideological engine into the empty chassis of his brain. He will read this book, watch that film, and get the Wrong Idea About Things."''
203	-->-- '''Kat Rosenfield''', "[[https://medium.com/arc-digital/what-we-sacrifice-to-be-seen-ccd01f774e94 What We Sacrifice To Be Seen]]"
204
205	->''"For decades, American moral crusaders have tried to [[BannedInChina keep material away from the young]] in the name of protecting them. True to our Puritan roots, violence always seems to get a pass, while sex is shameful and not to be discussed. What’s telling about (Mayor Pro Tempore Gracey) Van Der Mark and her fellow travelers is that their ire is coming in an era when children’s and young adult literature is more ethnically diverse and more accepting of sexual and gender identities than ever."''
206	-->-- '''Gustavo Arellano''', ''Los Angeles Times'', "[[https://www.latimes.com/california/story/2023-06-30/huntington-beach-library-obscene-books Column: Huntington Beach wants to keep ‘obscene’ books away from children. Good luck]]"
207	[[/folder]]

Context Quotes / MoralGuardians