Line #2 Quotes/LawfulStupid


1	[[foldercontrol]]
2
3	[[folder:Fiction]]
4	->''[[AC:This mission is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it.]]''
5	-->--'''HAL-9000''', ''Film/TwoThousandOneASpaceOdyssey''
6
7	->'''Hobbes:''' Wait, we didn't sing the G.R.O.S.S. anthem.\
8	'''Calvin:''' We sing that at the ''end'' of the meeting.\
9	'''Hobbes:''' I want to sing it NOW.\
10	'''Calvin:''' We can't. We have to follow proper protocol! See? It says on the agenda that we sing the anthem ''last!''\
11	'''Hobbes:''' '''OHHOHH GRO'''-'''HOSS, BEST CLUB IN THE COSMOS...! ♫'''\
12	'''Calvin:''' STOP THAT YOU ANARCHIST!
13	-->--''ComicStrip/CalvinAndHobbes''
14
15	->''Congratulations indeed, but you finished with 2 seconds to spare so I am demoting you. A good bureaucrat never finishes early.''
16	-->--'''Bureaucrat 1.0''', ''WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}}'', "How Hermes Requisitioned His Groove Back"
17
18	->''You're not Good, at least not any definition of Good that I would want to follow. You follow the letter of the alignment description while ignoring its intent. Sure, you fight Evil, but when was the last time you showed a "concern for the dignity of sentient beings?" You're just a mean, socially inept bully who hides behind a badge and her holier-than-thou morality as excuses to treat other people like crap.''
19	-->-- '''[[ToBeLawfulOrGood Roy Greenhilt]]''' to '''[[KnightTemplar Miko Miyazaki]]''', ''Webcomic/TheOrderOfTheStick''
20
21	->''Fiat iustitia, et pereat mundus''\
22	(Let there be justice, though the world perish.)
23	-->--'''Philipp Melanchthon''', ''Loci Communes''
24
25	->''If ''that's'' how Kilgore fought the war, I began to wonder what they really had against Kurtz. It wasn't just insanity and murder; there was enough of that to go around for everyone.''
26	-->--'''Willard''', ''Film/ApocalypseNow''
27
28	->''Is that wise, captain? The Codex Astartes does not support this action--''
29	-->--'''Leandros''', ''VideoGame/Warhammer40000SpaceMarine''
30
31	->''...only if law serves justice is it a good law.''
32	-->--'''Boba Fett''', ''Literature/TalesOfTheBountyHunters''
33
34	->To declare an assertion of the People untrue is unlawful, even if it was retroactively asserted by vote to be untrue, at which point referring to it as either true or untrue is equally unlawful.
35	-->-- '''Bellerophon formal codex of laws''', ''Literature/APracticalGuideToEvil''
36
37	->'''Sir Morris:''' I'm hungry Boris.\
38	'''Sir Boris:''' So am I, Morris. Breakfast isn't until 7:00.\
39	'''Sir Morris:''' We could have seven o'clock a bit earlier. At "now" perhaps.\
40	'''Sir Boris:''' No, we'll just have to wait.
41	-->--''WesternAnimation/TheBigKnights'' [[labelnote:note]]For the record, this conversation takes place at 6:59[[/labelnote]]
42
43	->"Your father asks you to fix the roof and mow the lawn. When you climb the ladder onto the roof, the ladder is taken away."\
44	"I fix the roof."\
45	"And when you're finished?"\
46	"I jump down."\
47	"You'll break more than bones at this height."\
48	"I see no reason to change my decision. I have not finished mowing the lawn. I must remain loyal to the mission."
49	-->--"Between Two Women", a record of a TuringTest in ''VideoGame/MetalGearSolidPeaceWalker''
50
51	->'''[=GoGo=]''': Why are we stopped?\
52	'''Wasabi''': The light's red!\
53	'''[=GoGo=]''': '''''[[NotSoStoic There are no red lights IN A CAR CHASE]]!'''''
54	-->-- ''WesternAnimation/BigHero6''
55
56	->'''Peasant:''' Ulric! Uuuulric! A devil bear has stolen my wife!
57	->'''Ulric the Just:''' This will not stand! [...] Justice is served! I bring you... the devil bear's wife!
58	->'''Peasant:''' Actually... I wanted ''my'' wife back.
59	->'''Ulric the Just:''' You have no concept of justice. ''Enjoy your new wife.''
60	-->--''WebComic/{{Oglaf}}''
61
62	->'''Alex:''' They're investigating [[WhiteMage Anne]] for running that clinic?
63	->'''Rain:''' According to the records, it wasn't authorized.
64	->'''Alex:''' [[LetMeGetThisStraight Let me see if I've got this straight]]. [[LightEmUp Lightbringer]] and [[PsychoElectro Zilean]] just literally ''[[FlayingAlive flayed Anne alive]]'' and as far as I can tell, the investigation team's response has been to have one interview and then let the two of them go. But they're willing to prosecute Anne for ''[[PrecisionFStrike fucking]] [[FriendToAllLivingThings healing people for free?]]''
65	->'''Rain:''' They're not connected, Verus. [[JurisdictionFriction One is the Order of the Star, the other is the regulatory staff at]]-
66	->'''Alex:''' [[EnragedByIdiocy Jesus Christ]].
67	-->--''[[Literature/AlexVerus Bound]]''
68
69	->'''Trisha:''' ''(screaming, kicking, and trying to open the emergency exit door)'' I need to be on land! I need to be on land!
70	->'''Brittnay:''' ''(holding Trisha back)'' Trisha! We're flying over the ocean!
71	->'''Mackenzie:''' ''(also holding Trisha back)'' Trisha 2!! ''Help us!''
72	->'''Trisha 2:''' But the seatbelt sign is on!
73	-->--''WebAnimation/TheMostPopularGirlsInSchool'', [[Recap/TheMostPopularGirlsInSchoolS05E02 Episode 72]] ("Bonjour")
74
75	->'''Capt. Lionel Mandrake:''' Colonel... that Coca-Cola machine. I want you to shoot the lock off it. There may be some change in there.
76	->'''Colonel "Bat" Guano:''' That's private property.
77	->'''Mandrake:''' Colonel! Can you possibly imagine what is going to happen to you, your frame, outlook, way of life, and everything, when they learn that you have obstructed a telephone call to the President of the United States? Can you imagine? Shoot it off! Shoot! With a gun! That's what the bullets are for, you twit!
78	->'''Guano:''' Okay. I'm gonna get your money for ya. But if you don't get the President of the United States on that phone, you know what's gonna happen to you?
79	->'''Mandrake:''' What?
80	->'''Guano:''' You're gonna have to answer to the Coca-Cola company.
81	-->-- ''Film/DrStrangelove''
82
83	->[''the group is discussing with the angels Hokuto's plan to resurrect [[EldritchAbomination Alucard]] and bring about TheEndOfTheWorldAsWeKnowIt'']\
84	'''Rason''': You can't interfere, can you?\
85	'''Ruby''': What? Can't interfere?\
86	'''Astreal''': You mean [[TheGodsMustBeLazy they would allow Alucard to come to be even knowing about him?]]\
87	'''Elder''': The world ''does'' still have free will, monster. This boy you speak of is part monster... however, he is [[HalfHumanHybrid part human]] as well, as he was [[WasOnceAMan born one]].\
88	'''Kurumu''': So? What does that have to do with anything?\
89	'''Rason''': It means that Hokuto is recognized as a human still to the heavens since that's how he entered this world. And as a human, he is considered sacred. It doesn't matter how evil he is or what his intentions are now. Until he dies with sin, [[ThouShaltNotKillMuggles he cannot be touched by the angels]].\
90	'''Ruby''': What?! He is ''far'' from sacred!\
91	'''Elder''': The laws of [[{{God}} the Almighty]] are enforced here, monster, unlike Rason who can't seem to grasp that, and we will enforce the Almighty's laws with the highest priority.\
92	'''Kurumu''': This is insane! You ''know'' Hokuto is going to destroy the world, and yet you're picking on Luna and Falla?! What the hell is ''wrong'' with everyone in Heaven?!
93	-->--''FanFic/RosarioVampireBrightestDarkness Act IV''
94
95	->'''Cleo:''' We've received a stack of complaints from the nearby villages. "Kindly put a leash on the one going about screaming 'JUSTICE!'" "Stop the bad justice man." They go on...
96	->'''Karl:''' Incomprehensible. I've merely been carrying out justice!
97	-->--''VideoGame/DragaliaLost''
98
99	->'''ComicBook/{{Batman}}''': You sold out to [[ComicBook/LexLuthor Luthor]].\
100	'''ComicBook/CaptainAtom''': I'm doing my duty. Look, this isn't my decision to make. It's the court's.\
101	'''Batman''': "Court's"? This is Luthor's vendetta.\
102	'''ComicBook/{{Superman}}''': ComicBook/PowerGirl, what do you think about all this?\
103	'''Atom''': It doesn't matter what any of us thinks. Luthor [[LoyalToThePosition is the president and what he says goes]]. Now, are you coming or not?
104	-->--''WesternAnimation/SupermanBatmanPublicEnemies''
105
106	->'''Peggy:''' Hank, what are you doing?
107	->'''Hank:''' Getting him right where I want him.
108	->(''Hank waits for the light to turn yellow, then speeds ahead.'')
109	->'''Hank:''' Ha!
110	->(''Alabaster Jones drives through the red light'')
111	->'''Hank:''' What? He ran a red light! You can't do that!
112	-->-- ''WesternAnimation/KingOfTheHill'', "Ho Yeah!"
113
114	->''"You say you answer to some sort of authority. They only want me dead because I'm an embarrassment. Because I do what they can't. What kind of authority is that?"''
115	-->--'''Batman''' to '''Superman''', ''WesternAnimation/BatmanTheDarkKnightReturns: Part 2''
116
117	->''"If the rule you followed brought you to this, of what use was the rule?"''
118	-->-- '''Anton Chigurh''', ''Film/NoCountryForOldMen''
119
120	->'''Mao Mao:''' Badgerclops ''chose'' to break the law. You'll have to accept the consequences.
121	->'''Badgerclops:''' I don't even remember what I ''did!''
122	->'''Tanya Keys:''' You really haven't changed at all...
123	-->-- ''WesternAnimation/MaoMaoHeroesOfPureHeart'', "Meet Tanya Keys"
124
125	->'''Seventh Division Captain Thunderhooves:''' It did not have to be this way! You could have waited! You could have remained in your own Division headquarters until the Captain Commander and Central 46, the ''lawful'' bodies of Soul Society, worked this matter through.\
126	'''Eighth Division Captain Cheese Sandwich:''' Yeah, and while that happened, [[spoiler:[[TheMole Platinum]]]] would be [[MiscarriageOfJustice killing two of our comrades. Our friends]]. But nah, let’s just follow the law because it's the law. [[SarcasmMode Brilliant Thunderhooves]].\
127	'''Thunderhooves:''' A joker who takes nothing seriously would never understand the importance, or ''burden'' of upholding the law. But I see talk is meaningless. ''[[ByThePowerOfGrayskull Deliver justice; Ho Ken!]]''\
128	''[Later during the fight]''\
129	'''Thunderhooves:''' You cannot bind me for long. I shall be free in seconds.\
130	'''Cheese Sandwich:''' Yup, but I can chant another binding spell in seconds. We can keep this up all day if you want, Thunder. Or you could try ''listening to reason'' for a change!\
131	'''Thunderhooves:''' There is no reason while you rebel against the law!\
132	'''Cheese Sandwich:''' [[ArmorPiercingQuestion Even when the law is in error?]]\
133	'''Thunderhooves:''' Even in error without the law we lose the identity that makes Soul Society ''function''! I will not let it fall!\
134	'''Cheese Sandwich:''' Great. Well, nothing for it then. ''[[ByThePowerOfGrayskull Knock ‘em dead, Hone Nashi]]''.
135	-->-- ''Fanfic/EquestriaGirlsFriendshipSouls'' "Episode 52: Clash of Captains"
136
137	->'''Inspector Carmelita Fox:''' I don't know what you're doing here in China, but I'm sure it can't be good for whoever owns this place.\
138	'''Sly Cooper:''' [[InspectorJavert You must only have eyes for me if you're too blind to see what's going on around here]].\
139	'''Carmelita:''' All I see is a pathetic thief who's escaped justice for far too long.\
140	'''Sly:''' [[AtLeastIAdmitIt I'm proud to be a thief]], [[KarmicThief especially when I'm stealing from a vicious extortionist like the Panda King]]. Open your eyes "Detective" - these giant temples are a front for an illegal fireworks factory.\
141	'''Carmelita:''' Don't try to confuse the issue. [[AllCrimesAreEqual You criminals are all the same and none of you can escape justice]].
142	-->-- ''VideoGame/SlyCooperAndTheThieviusRaccoonus''
143	[[/folder]]
144
145	[[folder:Real Life]]
146	->''I know no method to secure the repeal of bad or obnoxious laws so effective as their stringent execution.''
147	-->--'''UsefulNotes/UlyssesSGrant'''
148
149	->''In the [[UsefulNotes/SovietRussiaUkraineAndSoOn Soviet Union]] it was illegal to take a photograph of a train station. Look what happened to them. They tried to classify everything.''
150	-->--'''Creator/TomClancy'''
151
152	->''We cannot expect people to have respect for law and order until we teach respect to those we have entrusted to enforce those laws.''
153	-->--'''Creator/HunterSThompson'''
154
155	->''For some strange reason, straight edge is treated as a gang by law enforcement in at least one locale (Salt Lake City, Utah). Bizarre! -- the police want kids to say no to drugs and alcohol, but when a group of kids comes along who actually do, they are treated as a gang anyway. Oddly, straight edgers are probably the only youth in Utah (Mormons included) who actually follow the Mormon 'word of wisdom' concerning alcohol, tobacco, and coffee. [[GrumpyOldMan You can't win, I guess.]]''
156	-->--'''Rational Wiki'''
157
158	->''My friends in Los Angeles got these letters warning they could be fined if they water, and I got a letter warning that I could be [[MortonsFork fined for not watering]]. I felt like I was in an alternate universe.''
159	-->--'''[[http://jezebel.com/ca-couple-may-face-500-fine-for-letting-yard-dry-out-1608034023 Laura Whitney]]'''
160
161	->''Paul Joyce was a very technically-minded director, meaning that although the designers and visual effects team have nothing but praise for him, others are less enthusiastic... Joyce also got into a dispute with the lighting director, John Dixon, because Joyce wanted to include the lights in a shot of the privateer set (implying that they were part of the privateer) and Dixon wound up stopping the show for two hours in protest. Joyce would later describe the incident as '[[KafkaComedy Kafkaesque.]]'''
162	-->--'''Alan Stevens''' and '''Fiona Moore''' [[http://www.kaldorcity.com/features/articles/warriors.html on]] ''Series/DoctorWho'', [[{{Recap/DoctorWhoS18E5WarriorsGate}} "Warrior's Gate"]]
163
164	->''I remember one time {{Wrestling/Goldberg}} met [=Mark McGuire=], who was on the verge of breaking the home run record and was in the news literally every day. [=McGuire=] [[TheKnightsWhoSaySquee was a huge mark for wrestling]]. He and Goldberg met up before a game, did some batting practice. Had this happened in the {{Wrestling/WWF}}, they'd have filmed everything, probably had Goldberg and [=McGuire=] going to Louisville to pick out bats. But we never showed anything. We weren't allowed to make mention of it, because it wasn't {{Wrestling/WCW}}'s idea.''
165	-->--WCW announcer '''Wrestling/BobbyHeenan'''
166
167	->''The [[Creator/JonPertwee Pertwee]] book should be out towards the end of next week if all goes well -- I've just gotten the last edits back, and am typesetting and doing the requisite fighting with Amazon's system. (Let's see if they accuse me of plagiarizing my blog again).''
168	-->--'''El Sandifer''', ''TARDIS Eruditorum''
169
170	->The paladin's alignment is not Lawful Anal.
171	-->--''Blog/ThingsMrWelchIsNoLongerAllowedToDoInAnRPG''
172	[[/folder]]

Context Quotes / LawfulStupid