Line #63 Quotes/JerkAss


1	->''"That's me, jerkass Homer!"''
2	-->-- '''Homer Simpson''', ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons''
3
4	->''"Me, nice?! I've never been nice in my life! I'm allergic to nice!"''
5	-->-- '''Bowser Koopa''', ''WesternAnimation/TheAdventuresOfSuperMarioBros3''
6
7	->'''Namine:''' So why were you saying Zex wouldn't help us?\
8	'''Axel:''' Cause he's a jerk.\
9	'''Zexion:''' It's true, I am a jerk.
10	-->-- ''Webcomic/AnsemRetort''
11
12	->''"Why do you put so much energy into pissing people off?"''
13	-->-- '''Kagura''', ''Manga/AzumangaDaioh''
14
15	->''"Oh you call that love? Trying to push yourself on me with that stupid haircut and that tacky suit? No you're an asshole! [[IHaveYouNowMyPretty Not to mention a creep]], you don't know a damn thing on how to treat women. [[YouMonster You're sub-human scum]]. Burn in Hell!"''
16	-->-- '''[[FallenPrincess Ange]]''' replying to '''[[BigBad Embryo]]''', ''Anime/CrossAnge''
17
18	-> ''"There are men in this world who go about [[TooDumbToLive demanding to be killed]]. They argue in gambling games; [[HairTriggerTemper they jump out of their cars in a rage if someone so much as scratches their fender]]. These people wander through the streets calling out "Kill me, kill me." Luca Brasi was such a man. And since he wasn't scared of death, and in fact, looked for it... I made him my weapon. Because I was the only person in the world that he truly hoped would not kill him."''
19	-->-- '''Vito Corleone''', ''Film/TheGodfather''
20
21	->''"You know, there's a word for people like you. I'll give you a hint: It starts with 'bi' and it ends with 'otch'."''
22	-->-- '''Eikichi Onizuka''', ''Manga/GreatTeacherOnizuka''
23
24	->''"What'll happen to your children when I've killed you? When Mummy's gone the same way as [[spoiler:Freddie]]?"''
25	-->-- '''Bellatrix Lestrange''' (to [[spoiler:Molly Weasley]]), ''Literature/HarryPotterAndTheDeathlyHallows'', in what proves to be her [[MamaBear final mistake]]
26
27	-> '''Angel Dust:''' Just don't get your taco in a twist, baby.\
28	'''Vaggie:''' Was that you trying to be sexist or racist?\
29	'''Angel Dust:''' Whatever pisses you off more.
30	-->-- ''WebAnimation/HazbinHotel''
31
32	->''"It can't be sustainable for him to be so casually insulting to everyone."''
33	-->-- '''Hisao Nakai''', ''VisualNovel/KatawaShoujo''
34
35	->''"You know, Cooper...I've only been around you a minute or two, but that's enough time for me to know that I don't like you very much."''
36	-->-- '''Ben''', ''Film/NightOfTheLivingDead1990''
37
38	->''"Let them stay upstairs. Let them. Too many ways those monsters can get in here. We'll see who's right. We'll see, when they come begging me to let them in down here."''
39	-->--'''Harry Cooper''', ''Film/NightOfTheLivingDead1968''
40
41	->''"Let's be clear here. We're talking about a person that a couple of ''total assholes'' find rude."''
42	-->-- '''Jerry "Tycho" Holkins''', (talking about Creator/HarlanEllison), ''Webcomic/PennyArcade''
43
44	-> ''"You seem unhappy. I like that."''
45	-->-- '''Janitor''', ''{{Series/Scrubs}}''
46
47	->''"The selfish man is like a mangy dog chasing a cautionary tail."''
48	-->-- '''Sergeant Calhoun''', (describing Turbo), ''WesternAnimation/WreckItRalph''
49
50	->''"I aspire to more creativity than the common asshole. I'm more of a ... class-hole, if you will."''
51	-->-- '''Black Hat Guy''', ''Webcomic/{{xkcd}}''
52
53	->''"You're so unpleasant even I'm impressed. Do you visit orphanages to explain there's no Santa?"''
54	-->-- '''Emma Frost''' to '''Agent Brand''', ''ComicBook/AstonishingXMen''
55
56	->'''Noah:''' I'm going to enjoy [[GrandTheftMe taking control of your body,]] Kaiba. The first thing I'm going to do is make a big donation to the local children's hospital, and then I'm going to give all the Kaiba Corporation employees a big raise.
57	->'''Kaiba:''' You will do no such thing!
58	-->-- ''WebVideo/YuGiOhTheAbridgedSeries''
59
60	->''Hello, my name is [[VisualNovel/ApolloJusticeAceAttorney Zak Gramarye]]. And I'm a jerk!''
61	-->-- ''[[Webcomic/{{Hiimdaisy}} Zak Gramarye is a Jerk]]''
62
63	->''Welcome to the troupe! I'm Magnifi, [[ItRunsInTheFamily and I am also a jerk]].''
64	-->-- ''[[Webcomic/{{Hiimdaisy}} Zak Gramarye is a Jerk]]''
65
66	->''"Were you born a loser, or did it just take practice?"''
67	-->-- '''The hidden announcer''', ''VideoGame/WaveRace Blue Storm''
68
69	->''"[[WhatTheHellHero OH MY GOD! YOU LEFT A SEARCH FOR A LOST CHILD TO]] '''[[CheatingWithTheMilkman FUCK THE MAIL-LADY?!]]''' First the sandwiches, then the [[EvilLaugh evil laughter]], now abandoning a child to get laid! Dude, you're not gonna find the kid in her vagina! [...] I can't take this guy, I really can't. He isn't just an asshole, he's like, a compilation of assholes to make the world's biggest asshole! The [[Series/TheSixMillionDollarMan Six-Million Dollar Asshole]]!"''
70	-->-- '''WebVideo/TheNostalgiaCritic''', ''Literature/TheTommyknockers'' review, about Becka's cheating husband Joe.
71
72	->'''Dorothy:''' So, Mike, you hungry?\
73	'''Mike:''' No, I am sustained by the sadness of others.
74	-->-- ''Webcomic/DumbingOfAge''
75
76	->''Awfully unsporting of me, I know, but what the hey, I've gotta have ''some'' fun! ''({{Beat}}) ''And besides, [[DuckSeasonRabbitSeason it's really duck season!]]''
77	-->-- '''WesternAnimation/DaffyDuck''', ''Rabbit Seasoning''
78
79	->''I mean, he's wholly and unapologetically Evil, but more to the point, he's kind of a dick.''
80	-->-- '''Rich Burlew''' describing [[BigBad Xykon]], ''Webcomic/TheOrderOfTheStick''
81
82	->''Everybody knows''\
83	''That you're just an asshole''\
84	''Everywhere you go''\
85	''People wanna go''\
86	''"Oh, everybody knows"''\
87	''Everybody knows''\
88	''So don't pretend to be nice''\
89	''There's no place you can hide''\
90	''You are just an asshole''
91	-->-- '''Skylar Grey''' on the Music/{{Eminem}} song "Asshole"
92
93	->'''Gao:''' Nobu isn't very happy with you.\
94	'''Fisk:''' That man is never happy with anyone.\
95	'''Gao:''' True.
96	-->-- ''Series/Daredevil2015''
97
98	->'''Yondu:''' You like a professional asshole, or what?\
99	'''Rocket Raccoon:''' Pretty much a pro.
100	-->-- ''Film/GuardiansOfTheGalaxyVol2''
101
102	->''"What is your goal here? To get everyone to hate you? Because it's working!"''
103	-->--'''Peter Quill''' to '''Rocket Raccoon''', ''Film/GuardiansOfTheGalaxyVol2''
104
105	->''"[[ComicBook/TheRiddler He’s]] a thief. He’s a killer. And worst of all, he’s... [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking he’s rude.]]"''
106	-->-- '''[[ComicBook/TheJoker John Doe]]''', ''VideoGame/BatmanTheTelltaleSeries''
107
108	->''"You know, we basically just met you, so it's kinda telling that we all know your personality is flaming crap mixed with garbage."''
109	-->-- '''Denki Kaminari''' to '''Katsuki Bakugou''', ''Manga/MyHeroAcademia''
110
111	->'''Carl:''' [[PrecisionFStrike F*ck off!]]\
112	'''Conker:''' [[LampshadeHanging Why is it everybody's so offensive 'round here?]]\
113	'''Carl:''' Either [[FetchQuest bring me back me missing cogs]], or [[SuddenlyShouting F*CK OFF!]]\
114	'''Conker:''' You don't have to shout.\
115	'''Carl:''' I'm deaf! Speak up or f*ck off!
116	-->-- ''VideoGame/ConkersBadFurDay''
117
118	->''"Even if I had helped [[{{Starscream}} him]] seize this ship, he would probably just [[ChronicBackstabbingDisorder fire me out of the first airlock...]] Oh, and he's rude."''
119	-->-- '''[[spoiler:Knock Out]]''', ''WesternAnimation/TransformersPrime''
120
121	->Nobody could ever accuse me of empathy, of genuinely caring for people. In fact, they'd probably say that Sam Krieg is a [[LackOfEmpathy cold son-of-a-bitch]]. And they'd be right. People don't interest me.
122	-->--'''Sam Krieg''', ''VideoGame/TheSecretWorld''
123
124	->''"I am an asshole, I am an asshole! I am SUCH an asshole! Look at me!"''
125	-->--'''LetsPlay/ProtonJon''', ''LetsPlay/TheRunawayGuys''
126
127	->'''Scout Finch''': Hey Miss Dubose.\
128	'''Mrs. Dubose''': Don't you say "hey" to me, you ugly girl!
129	-->--''Film/ToKillAMockingbird''
130
131	->''"I talked to the manager of the drive in, his name is Austin Johnson, and you're really gonna like him. He's what you'd call your perfect asshole."''
132	-->--'''Detective Larry''', ''Film/DriveInMassacre''
133
134	->'''Detective Larry''': You're gonna run your business from the slammer before long, if you don't shut up!\
135	'''Austin Johnson''': Yeah? Well you either charge me, lock me up and get off of my back- or let me go, because I don't care if half the goddamn valley gets chopped up! Now what are you gonna do?
136	-->--''Film/DriveInMassacre''
137
138	->'''Alice''': Oh, let's change the subject. I'm sick of hearing about sculptors. Nobody knows how to do that anymore, much less the busboy from The Yellow Door.\
139	'''Walter Paisley''': Who do you think you're talkin' about?\
140	'''Alice''': Don't shout at me!\
141	'''Walter''': I don't like you...\
142	'''Alice''': Nobody asked your opinion, Walter! You're just a simple farm boy, and the rest of us are sophisticated beatniks.
143	-->--''Film/ABucketOfBlood''
144
145	->'''Cady Heron''': Hi, I don't know if anyone told you about me, I'm a new student here, my name is Cady Heron.\
146	'''Kristen Hadley''': Talk to me again and I'll kick your ass!
147	-->--''Film/MeanGirls''
148
149	->'''Charlie Geller''': Yeah. Casey, I've always hated you because you were a prick in college and you are a prick today!\
150	'''Casey''': Thanks Charlie! Still living with your mom?
151	-->--''Film/TheBigShort''
152
153	->''"This is Pavlo, our general handyman. He's really ugly, isn't he? Don't be afraid to say so. Can't understand you anyway, he speaks only Romanian. You see that gorgeous smile? He's felt very handsome ever since he got those false teeth."''
154	-->--'''Miss Tanner''', ''Film/Suspiria1977''
155
156	->''"Santa's not coming for you. He was shot down by the Russians."''
157	-->--'''Constance Lenz''' to ''[[AbusiveParents her own son]]'', ''Film/BlackChristmas2006''
158
159	->''"Fuckin' devil-worshiper. I can't wait until my dad kicks you out on the streets and you've got to blow truck drivers for food like your psycho mum."''
160	-->--'''David''', ''Film/{{Deathgasm}}''
161
162	->'''Elijah C. Skuggs''': Do I seem like a weirdo?\
163	'''Ricky Coogan''': Nope. You seem like a regular dumbshit old redneck to me.
164	-->--''Film/{{Freaked}}''
165
166	->''"Oh, look. Losers. And they're standing much too close to me."''
167	-->--'''Caleb Robertson''' to '''Catie''' and '''Anonymous''', ''VideoGame/BoxxyQuestTheShiftedSpires''
168
169	->''"Fuck me, I'm out of breath. Now what i was trying to say was how sorry I am that Mullet decided to top himself. A bit selfish of him really, leaving Mr. Jizzy no mates here, not one fat spaz to call a friend."''
170	-->--'''Bradley''', ''Film/Tormented2009''
171
172	->''"Good riddance. Always giving to others instead of to yourself. Why did you live like that? What was the point? What a load of crap."''
173	-->--'''Jong-gil''', ''Film/TrainToBusan''
174
175	->'''Heather Duke''': Hi, everybody. Door was open. Veronica, did you hear? We were doing Chinese at the food fair, when it comes over the radio that Martha Dumptruck tried to buy the farm. She belly-flopped in front of a car wearing a suicide note.\
176	'''Veronica Sawyer''': Is she dead?\
177	'''Heather''': No... that's the punchline. She's alive, and in stable condition. Just another case of a geek trying to imitate the popular people and failing miserably.
178	-->--''Film/{{Heathers}}''
179
180	->''"Hey, doll, could you scare up another round for our table over here? And tell the cook this is low grade dog food. I've had better food at the ballgame, you know? This steak still has marks from where the jockey was hitting it."''
181	-->--'''Al Czervik''', ''Film/{{Caddyshack}}''
182
183	->''"Lost? Frightened? Confused? Good! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!"''
184	-->--'''I. M. Meen''', ''VideoGame/{{IMMeen}}''
185
186	->'''Ash:''' Hey, don't you know how to say anything nice?!\
187	'''Paul:''' Nice to who? I wouldn't know what else to say to a loser.
188	-->--''Anime/PokemonTheSeriesDiamondAndPearl'', "Different Strokes for Different Blokes!"
189
190
191	->'''Marvin Milk:''' Butcher, what the ''fuck'' is wrong with you, man?\
192	'''Billy Butcher:''' I'm sure you're gonna tell me.\
193	'''Marvin Milk:''' That shit you pulled with [[spoiler: Ryan,]] and now this cold-hearted shit you said to Kimiko? How can anybody be such a ''complete'' asshole??\
194	'''Billy Butcher:''' Practice.
195	-->--''Series/TheBoys2019'', [[Recap/TheBoysS03E04GloriousFiveYearPlan "Glorious Five-Year Plan"]]
196
197	->''"Is your idiot brain getting fucked by stupid?"''
198	-->--'''Homelander''', to '''Ashley''', ''Series/TheBoys2019'', [[Recap/TheBoysS03E04GloriousFiveYearPlan "Glorious Five-Year Plan"]]
199
200	->''"I don't know how good [[Wrestling/VInceMCMahon your]] hearing is, but you got about 15,000 people calling you an asshole!"''
201	-->--'''Wrestling/StoneColdSteveAustin''' [[LampShadeHanging lampshading]] the trope to Wrestling/VinceMcMahon, ''Wrestling/WWERaw'', October 12, 1998.
202
203	->'''Stone Cold:''' I don't know how good your hearing is, Wrestling/{{AJ\|Styles}}, but you got about 18,000 people calling you an asshole!\
204	(later...)\
205	'''AJ:''' You know what, Steve? At your old age, ''[[NoYou you've]]'' turned into a real asshole!
206	-->--Ditto to AJ Styles on the August 9, 2019 episode of ''Raw'', to which the latter fires back with the same trope
207
208	->''"Does your rudeness know no bounds, sir?"''
209	-->-- '''Dudley''' to '''Balrog''', ''VideoGame/StreetFighterIV''
210
211	->''Ru Hui was horrible. It’s almost like his goal in life was to be as obnoxious and hurtful as he could possibly be.''
212	-->--''Roleplay/DeathDropGameShow''
213
214	->'''Caller:''' That reminds me, Janet running around trying to catch a butterfly with a net was insensitive and inappropriate field study.\
215	'''Producer:''' Yes, but that's Janet's character: insensitive and inappropriate.
216	-->-- ''Literature/TheMagicSchoolBus'', "Butterfly and the Bog Beast"

Context Quotes / JerkAss