| 1 | [[foldercontrol]] |
| 2 | |
| 3 | [[folder:Anime & Manga]] |
| 4 | |
| 5 | ->''"If you don't have the balls to fight on your own, then you don't need them."'' |
| 6 | -->-- '''Yue''', before using [[GravityMaster gravity magic]] to [[TakeOurWordForIt turn a man into a maiden]], ''Literature/ArifuretaFromCommonplaceToWorldsStrongest'' |
| 7 | |
| 8 | ->''"YOUR DICK IS REVOKED!"'' |
| 9 | -->-- '''Maaya''', ''Manga/BioMeatNectar'' |
| 10 | |
| 11 | ->''"What does the fate of mankind have to do with the fate of my ''balls?''''"'' |
| 12 | -->-- '''Bando''', ''Manga/ElfenLied'' |
| 13 | |
| 14 | ->''"Gall-darnit!! Burn down my bar, subject me to torture, bite off my pecker...!! Who's gonna take responsibility for all that!"'' |
| 15 | -->-- '''Shunsaku Ban''', ''Manga/{{MW}}'' chapter twenty-six |
| 16 | |
| 17 | ->''"WHAT A LOW BLOW! YOU FIEND OF A CHILD! [[ThisIsUnforgivable A PUNCH TO THE SCROTUM IS UNFORGIVABLE!]]"'' |
| 18 | -->-- '''Tenya Iida''' after Kota Izumihe punches Izuku Midoriya in the ding-ding, ''Manga/MyHeroAcademia'' |
| 19 | |
| 20 | ->''"Ow... my balls! My balls! That was a cheap shot!"'' |
| 21 | -->-- '''Buggy the Clown''', ''Manga/OnePiece'' |
| 22 | |
| 23 | ->''"Don't go poppin' a boner over my head!"'' |
| 24 | -->-- '''Guts''', ''Manga/{{Berserk}}'', after giving Wyald the ultimate cockblock. |
| 25 | |
| 26 | ->''Thought you were full of it when you said you "wasted kindness" on me... But you ''are'' nice! 'Cause when ''I''... fight a ''dude''...! It's ''nuts! OR! '''NOTHING!'''''''"'' |
| 27 | -->-- '''Denji''' giving ''seven'' Groin Attacks in a row to Aki Hayakawa, ''Manga/ChainsawMan'' |
| 28 | |
| 29 | [[/folder]] |
| 30 | |
| 31 | [[folder:Comic Books]] |
| 32 | |
| 33 | ->'''Jessica Jones:''' You ever been [[CallingYourAttacks kicked in the nuts]] by a super hero?\ |
| 34 | '''Bouncer:''' [[OhCrap What...]] |
| 35 | -->-- ''ComicBook/{{Alias}}'' |
| 36 | |
| 37 | ->''"Quit stabbin' me groin, ya wee baby man!"'' |
| 38 | -->-- '''Creator/MarkMillar''', ''ComicBook/TheSimpsons Comics'' #88 |
| 39 | |
| 40 | ->'''ComicBook/{{Superboy}}:''' Well, er... Lois, it's just that you might have been shot if I didn't happen to be flying by--!\ |
| 41 | '''ComicBook/LoisLane:''' No problem--! I would've floored the guy with another swift kick where it hurts! |
| 42 | -->-- ''ComicBook/AMindSwitchInTime'' |
| 43 | |
| 44 | ->''"You want magic? 'Abracadabra!' The future generations of Thundercats disappear!"'' |
| 45 | -->-- '''Skeletor''', while kicking Lion-O in the balls, ''ComicBook/HeManThundercats'' |
| 46 | |
| 47 | ->'''Three:''' Even when a man's unarmed, he's still '''armed'''. You understand what I mean?\ |
| 48 | '''Probie:''' You're talking about his dick.\ |
| 49 | '''Three:''' It's more than that, but yeah. A guy can think with his brain or think with his penis, but he can't think with '''both'''. And when his little rod is fully extended he's more dangerous, but he's also more vulnerable. You follow?\ |
| 50 | '''Probie:''' I think so. You're saying we...we can use our sexuality against them.\ |
| 51 | '''Three:''' No, I'm saying you can grab his boner and rip it off his '''pelvis'''. |
| 52 | -->-- ''ComicBook/YTheLastMan'', "Paper Dolls" |
| 53 | |
| 54 | [[/folder]] |
| 55 | |
| 56 | [[folder:Comic Strips]] |
| 57 | ->'''Jon:''' I remember SkinnyDipping in our swimming hole when I was a kid. Until that awful day. The day the snapping turtle came.\ |
| 58 | '''Garfield:''' (I'd like zero details.) |
| 59 | -->-- ''ComicStrip/{{Garfield}} From the Trash Bin: Rescued Rejects and Outrageous Outtakes'' |
| 60 | [[/folder]] |
| 61 | |
| 62 | [[folder:Fan Works]] |
| 63 | |
| 64 | ->'''Vegeta:''' He ''keeps'' kicking me in the dick! ''Why?!'' Why does he keep kicking me in the dick?!\ |
| 65 | '''Goku:''' Wait, I think I may have a way to beat him--\ |
| 66 | '''Vegeta:''' If you say "hit him really hard," I swear to god, I will kick YOU in the dick! |
| 67 | -->-- ''WebVideo/DragonBallZAbridged: Cooler 2: The Return of Cooler's Revenge - The Reckoning'' |
| 68 | |
| 69 | ->'''Goku:''' Wow. I can't believe ''[[AllOfThem every single one]]'' of ''[[[MesACrowd the thousand Cooler clones]]]'' kicked you in the dick.\ |
| 70 | '''Vegeta:''' ''[high-pitched whimpering]'' |
| 71 | -->-- ''WebVideo/DragonBallZAbridged: Cooler 2: The Return of Cooler's Revenge – The Reckoning'' |
| 72 | |
| 73 | ->'''Dr. Gero:''' Weakness... identified!\ |
| 74 | '''Android 13:''' ''[grins, grabs Goku's leg, and readies a punch]''\ |
| 75 | '''Goku:''' Hey, what are you- ''[[[DeathCryEcho echoing scream]]]''\ |
| 76 | ''[FlashForward to...]''\ |
| 77 | '''Teen Gohan:''' Alright Goten, it's your job to chuck these as hard as you can, so I can be all trained up to face off against Dad in the tournament. Now stand behind that line and—\ |
| 78 | '''Goten:''' ''[[[{{Retgone}} vanishes]]]''\ |
| 79 | '''Teen Gohan:''' Goten? ...What was I doing here?\ |
| 80 | ''[back in the present]''\ |
| 81 | '''Goku:''' [-[[InstantSoprano He punched me in the dick? Why? Why did he punch me in the dick?]]-]\ |
| 82 | '''Vegeta:''' [[CallBack Not so funny now, is it, Kakarot?!]] |
| 83 | -->-- ''WebVideo/DragonBallZAbridged: Super Android 13'' |
| 84 | |
| 85 | ->''"Keep reading OR I SHOOT THE OTHER TESTICLE!"'' |
| 86 | -->-- '''Jan Valentine''', ''WebVideo/HellsingUltimateAbridged'' |
| 87 | |
| 88 | ->''"And if you ever fool around with another woman I'll show you exactly what I would have done! It involves electricity... and testicles."'' |
| 89 | -->-- '''Asuka''', ''Manga/Evangelion303'' |
| 90 | |
| 91 | ->'''Reno:''' What's the matter — afraid of hurting your vagina?\ |
| 92 | '''Tifa:''' Nah. [[LimitBreak BUT I'LL HURT YOURS!!]] ''[punches Reno's pelvis hard enough to break it]''\ |
| 93 | '''Reno:''' ''[[[InelegantBlubbering sobbing]]]'' You destroyed half of my enormous dick...\ |
| 94 | '''Tifa:''' ''[snickers]'' Yeah, okay. |
| 95 | -->-- ''WebAnimation/FinalFantasyVIIMachinabridged'', Episode 07 |
| 96 | |
| 97 | ->'''Tifa:''' Oh, is this Reno's replacement? [[CallBack He must still be in the hospital coughing up his remaining testicle.]]\ |
| 98 | '''Elena:''' [[SarcasmBlind They operate tomorrow!]]\ |
| 99 | [...]\ |
| 100 | '''Doctor:''' Alright, your testicle started here ''[points to his groin]'', then it went here ''[points to his pelvis]'', here ''[points off the X-ray print]'', looped around here ''[points to his sacrum]'', and ended up here ''[points to his toe]''.\ |
| 101 | '''Reno:''' Uh, what about the other one?\ |
| 102 | '''Doctor:''' Oh, it's ''dead.'' |
| 103 | -->-- ''WebAnimation/FinalFantasyVIIMachinabridged'', Episode 13 |
| 104 | |
| 105 | ->''"U-Ban was already exposed, about to throw himself upon her.\ |
| 106 | She focused her heat vision on full power and let him have it.\ |
| 107 | 'AHHHHHHHHH!' U-Ban screamed, looked very, very surprised, and grabbed his crotch. The very air was steaming around it. Not enough to injure him, probably, but damned well enough to make him hurt.\ |
| 108 | 'Pull up your pants,' said [[ComicBook/PowerGirl Kara]], getting to her feet. 'You look ridiculous.'"'' |
| 109 | -->-- ''Fanfic/AForceOfFour'' |
| 110 | |
| 111 | ->[[ComicBook/{{Supergirl}} Kara]] drew on her every erg of reserve power to keep fighting. But, increasingly, she found herself on the defensive. She fought to keep Satan Girl's fingers from her eyes, her jaws from her carotid artery, her knees from her crotch. |
| 112 | -->-- ''Fanfic/HellsisterTrilogy'' |
| 113 | |
| 114 | ->'''ComicBook/{{Batman}}:''' So, you went after [[ComicBook/HarleyQuinn Harley]], huh?\ |
| 115 | '''[[ComicBook/NormanOsborn Green Goblin]]:''' ''[with a bomb strapped to his crotch]'' Yeah. ComicBook/TheJoker tends to go for the really obvious jokes, doesn't he? |
| 116 | -->-- ''WebVideo/ImAMarvelAndImADC'' |
| 117 | |
| 118 | ->As Josuke turned to the rift, Joseph practically yelled at Jonathan "Be careful, grandpa! If anyone tries to attack you, just give 'em a good [[PowerOfTheSun Hamon]]-charged kick right in the-"\ |
| 119 | [[CurseCutShort "Yes, thank you Joseph!"]] Jonathan quickly cut him off, envisioning his next words, and resisted the slight urge to scold his grandson. |
| 120 | -->-- ''Fanfic/JonathanJoestarTheFirstJoJo'' |
| 121 | |
| 122 | ->Unwinding her legs, Jasmine pulled Kara up, her hands under the blonde's chin, and extended one knee, then dropped Kara so that her crotch contacted Jasmine's knee. A horrible groan sprang from her lips at the impact. Supergirl clutched herself as she writhed on the mat. |
| 123 | -->-- ''Fanfic/KaraOfRokyn'' |
| 124 | |
| 125 | ->''"[[PunctuatedForEmphasis HE! STABBED! ME! IN! THE! COCK!]]"'' |
| 126 | -->-- '''An unfortunate CAT-6 mercenary''', ''Fanfic/MassEffectHumanRevolution'' |
| 127 | |
| 128 | ->'''Splinter:''' Don't make me have to pull out the Italian sausage on yo' ass!\ |
| 129 | '''The Shredder:''' ''[gets kicked by Splinter]'' AUGH MY NUTS!\ |
| 130 | '''Raphael:''' Damn, somebody's nuts just got fucked up! |
| 131 | -->-- '''WebVideo/MyWayEntertainment'''[='=]s GagDub of ''WesternAnimation/TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles1987'' |
| 132 | |
| 133 | ->''"My only weakness! MY BALLS! How did you know?!"'' |
| 134 | -->-- '''Unnamed pirate''', ''WebVideo/NonePiece'' |
| 135 | |
| 136 | ->I don't know how she managed, but Asuka ended up on top of me and jammed her fist in my face, followed by her knee in my crotch. |
| 137 | -->-- ''Fanfic/TheOneILoveIs'', chapter 7 |
| 138 | |
| 139 | ->As they ran through the forest, they could hear Ron scream, "You goober! Tell me where that million credit man is or I'll do some very unpleasant things to your reproductive organs!" |
| 140 | -->-- ''[[http://anorbitingdilemmastoryexcerpt.webs.com/ An Orbiting Dilemma]]'', a ''Franchise/StarWars'' fic |
| 141 | |
| 142 | ->A strangled screech escaped my lips, quickly giving way to a loud roar of pain I assumed could be heard from a kilometer away. The pain burning in that region made me wonder two things: first, [[ItMakesSenseInContext why I had not thought of anything beyond firing that cable.]] And the second thing that flashed through my mind was the most important question I had ever asked: Did Remnant offer testicle transplants?\ |
| 143 | [...]\ |
| 144 | [[ShoutOut "What do you have]] against [[WebAnimation/RedVsBlue my testicles?!"]] |
| 145 | -->-- ''Fanfic/RWBYReckoning'' |
| 146 | |
| 147 | ->'''Kazuto:''' Must… find… Asuna… wait, is that a cathet-\ |
| 148 | ''[horrible wet slurping noise]''\ |
| 149 | '''Kazuto:''' AAAAAAAAAAA- |
| 150 | -->-- ''WebVideo/SwordArtOnlineAbridged'' Episode 11 |
| 151 | |
| 152 | ->'''Kazuto:''' Come on, sis, can't you go easy on me? I just got out of the hospital!\ |
| 153 | '''Suguha:''' Well, you would've gotten out a lot sooner if you hadn't been a tard and ripped your dick in ha—\ |
| 154 | '''Kazuto:''' ''[[[MirthlessLaughter laughs hesitantly]]]'' Can we— can we not… please? ''[[[ThousandYardStare stares at Suguha]]]'' Sometimes… late at night… I can still hear it… ''tearing''… |
| 155 | -->-- ''WebVideo/SwordArtOnlineAbridged'' Episode 12, discussing Kazuto's self-infliction of this trope |
| 156 | |
| 157 | ->"Look, if ''[[TabletopGame/{{Warhammer 40000}} Tzeentch]]'' were to actually appear before me after all this in a form with balls to knee instead of some sort of gibbering, tentacled monstrosity capable of driving lesser beings mad with the merest glimpse, then I think it is fair to say that He is asking for the patella to connect with the groin. It will probably even be part of one of His plans, so I honestly won’t feel bad at all," I explain with bitter annoyance at being underestimated, again. |
| 158 | -->-- '''Shinji''', ''Fanfic/ThousandShinji'' |
| 159 | |
| 160 | ->''"[[CallingYourAttacks HORSE KICKS FOR THE CROWN JEWELS!]]"'' |
| 161 | -->-- '''Valerie Payne''', ''Fanfic/TheUltimateEvil'' |
| 162 | |
| 163 | ->An elbow strike under the chin. A knee to the groin. Another spinning kick that did damage to his ribs. This thing was getting serious. |
| 164 | -->-- ''Fanfic/TheVampireOfSteel'' |
| 165 | |
| 166 | ->'''Hank:''' But if Scott manages to piss her off too badly, he's on his own. The last time I tried to pull them apart, Jean got in a good kick. That woman is mean.\ |
| 167 | '''Bobby:''' I remember that. [[ShareTheMalePain I think everyone flinched when she landed that kick.]]\ |
| 168 | '''Hank:''' You never have to worry about that happening with two men fighting. We have certain rules of engagement, and kicking below the belt is against the rules.\ |
| 169 | '''Bobby:''' She apologized profusely for kicking you. And she bought you a malt later, to make up for it.\ |
| 170 | '''Hank:''' I still despair of having children. |
| 171 | -->-- ''Fanfic/XMenTheEarlyYears'' |
| 172 | |
| 173 | ->''"If your hand goes somewhere inappropriate, my knee will let your groin know."'' |
| 174 | -->-- '''Padma''', ''Fanfic/HarryCrow'' |
| 175 | |
| 176 | ->Geo-Force said, "Friend Batman, whence does our path lead now?"\ |
| 177 | "Back to Gotham for the moment," Batman replied. "Where we will take every crook in Gotham from the Joker to the lowest pickpocket, grab him right where it hurts, and squeeze till we get some answers."\ |
| 178 | "Uh, Batman, could I not do any of the squeezing, please?" begged Halo. "I mean, I'm not that kind of girl."\ |
| 179 | "Hush, Halo," advised Katana. |
| 180 | -->-- ''Fanfic/DanceWithTheDemons'' |
| 181 | |
| 182 | ->''"How is that a problem? Remember, plan sequentially. Kick him in the shin, first, and when he lifts his leg to rub it, you may punch him in the genitals. THEN when he's kneeling is WHEN you may kick him in the teeth."'' |
| 183 | -->-- '''Farseer''', ''Fanfic/ShinjiAndWarhammer40k'' |
| 184 | |
| 185 | ->''"Your security guard is busy holding his groin and wishing he'd been born a woman."'' |
| 186 | -->-- '''Jane Kates''', ''The Last Kiss Goodbye'' |
| 187 | |
| 188 | ->"Freak!" one of Kara's attackers shouted as they knocked her to the ground. This wasn't the first time Aethyr-Zer, Car-Vex, and Quex-Ul attacked her but this would be the one she makes them regret it. She retaliated by kicking Car in the knees and Quex in the groin. |
| 189 | -->-- ''Fanfic/DaughterOfFireAndSteel'' |
| 190 | |
| 191 | ->Jughead had been scrambling in the kitchen of the place for a weapon and found it in a cast-iron skillet. An instant after Gross had stabbed Moose, Juggy brought the pan down on Gross's head from behind. The thug was tough, but even he was hurt. Dilton, of all people, lost it. He grabbed the pan from Jug, smashed the hood in a very tender place, bashed him in the face with it, and proceeded to beat him unconscious. |
| 192 | -->-- ''Fanfic/MaybeTheLastArchieStory'' |
| 193 | |
| 194 | ->"Olsen, you twit," snapped Frank, standing up with a puddle of wetness in an embarrassing place. "Get outta here and go to bed, why don'tcha, and stop putting your lousy cold coffee in my crotch." |
| 195 | -->-- ''Fanfic/AVeryKaraChristmas'' |
| 196 | |
| 197 | ->A row of ramen noodle stands and panty vending machines transformed into multi-tubed launchers which let loose their warheads at point-blank range into Godzilla's testicles. |
| 198 | -->-- ''Fanfic/Plan7Of9FromOuterSpace'' |
| 199 | |
| 200 | ->'''Guard:''' "That's not in the protocol."\ |
| 201 | '''Asuka:''' "Screw the protocol, Saburo, you know it's me."\ |
| 202 | '''Guard:''' "Wish I didn't. My crotch still hurts from when you kicked it all those years ago."\ |
| 203 | '''Asuka:''' "You shouldn't have been on top of me like that. Now can we go through?" |
| 204 | -->-- ''Fanfic/NeonGenesisEvangelionGenocide'' |
| 205 | |
| 206 | ->'''[[WesternAnimation/TheLoudHouse Lincoln Loud]]:''' Really, Lynn? A nut shot right at the beginning of the fight?\ |
| 207 | '''Lynn Loud Jr.:''' What can I say? I'm a rudo. |
| 208 | -->-- ''Fanfic/PeekingThroughTheFourthWall'', Episode 3 |
| 209 | |
| 210 | [[/folder]] |
| 211 | |
| 212 | [[folder:Films -- Animation]] |
| 213 | |
| 214 | ->''"And now let me tell you about the time I used a sharpened clamshell to turn a T-Rex… into a T-Rachel!"'' |
| 215 | -->-- '''Buck''', ''WesternAnimation/IceAgeDawnOfTheDinosaurs'' |
| 216 | |
| 217 | ->''"Oooooohoohoohoohooh! My tenders..."'' |
| 218 | -->-- '''Poh''', ''WesternAnimation/KungFuPanda1'' |
| 219 | |
| 220 | ->''"Don't be such a baby, it's just a kick in the nuts!"'' |
| 221 | -->-- '''Sonya Blade''' has no sympathy for Johnny Cage, ''WesternAnimation/MortalKombatLegendsBattleOfTheRealms'' |
| 222 | |
| 223 | ->'''Donkey:''' [aiming for Puss in Boots] Did I miss?\ |
| 224 | '''Shrek:''' No... you got them! |
| 225 | -->-- ''WesternAnimation/Shrek2'' |
| 226 | |
| 227 | [[/folder]] |
| 228 | |
| 229 | [[folder:Films -- Live-Action]] |
| 230 | ->''"I hope you weren't planning on reproducing!"'' |
| 231 | -->-- '''Regina King''', ''Film/MissCongeniality'' |
| 232 | |
| 233 | ->'''Sonic:''' Bad time to say this, [[DidntThinkThisThrough but I don't actually have a plan.]] Tails, any ideas?\ |
| 234 | '''Tails:''' We have to find his weak spot!\ |
| 235 | '''Knuckles:''' I suggest the groin!\ |
| 236 | '''Sonic:''' [[BigWhat WHAT]]? [[NoJustNoReaction No... no!]]\ |
| 237 | '''Knuckles:''' [[BluntYes Traditionally yes.]] The groin is the weakest spot!\ |
| 238 | '''Sonic:''' [[PunctuatedForEmphasis Stop! Saying! Groin!]] |
| 239 | -->-- ''Film/SonicTheHedgehog22022'' |
| 240 | |
| 241 | ->''"Look, I got a gun out there in my purse! And up to now, I've been forgivin' and forgettin' because of the way I was brought up, but I'll tell you one thing: if you ever say another word about me or make another indecent proposal, I'm gonna get that gun of mine, and I'm gonna change you from a rooster to a hen with one shot!"'' |
| 242 | -->-- '''Music/DollyParton''', ''Film/NineToFive'' |
| 243 | |
| 244 | ->''"Oooh, right in the mummy-daddy button!"'' |
| 245 | -->-- '''Fat Bastard''', ''Film/AustinPowers'' |
| 246 | |
| 247 | ->''"I will rip your balls off and sauté them in garlic butter with basil and ground pepper. I will then add a garnish of shaved orange peels and a side of fresh-cut sliced beets misted with lemon juice. I will beautifully plate it and enjoy a glass of white wine with it while dressed in a tuxedo. It will be a Michelin three-star meal and you will not be invited to join me!"'' |
| 248 | -->-- '''Ron Burgundy''', ''Film/AnchormanTheLegendOfRonBurgundy'' |
| 249 | |
| 250 | ->''"Hitting between the legs? Where's your sense of honor?"'' |
| 251 | -->-- ''Film/TheAvengingEagle'', after an Eagle Assassin gets hit by the hero in his nethers |
| 252 | |
| 253 | ->''"Cock-shot!"'' |
| 254 | -->-- '''Deadpool''', ''Film/{{Deadpool|2016}}'' |
| 255 | |
| 256 | ->'''Deadpool:''' Is that a knife in my dick, or-\ |
| 257 | '''Cable:''' That's a knife in your dick, yeah. |
| 258 | -->-- ''Film/Deadpool2'' |
| 259 | |
| 260 | ->''"Ow! My balls."'' |
| 261 | -->-- '''Hormel Chavez''', ''Film/{{Idiocracy}}'' |
| 262 | |
| 263 | ->''"Say 'auf Wiedersehen' to your Nazi balls."'' |
| 264 | -->-- '''Sgt. Hugo Stiglitz''', ''Film/InglouriousBasterds'' |
| 265 | |
| 266 | ->'''Le Chiffre:''' You know, I never understood all these elaborate tortures. [[ToThePain It's the simplest thing... to cause more pain than a man can possibly endure.]]\ |
| 267 | [...]\ |
| 268 | '''Franchise/JamesBond:''' [[FacingTheBulletsOneLiner I've got a little itch... down there. Would you mind?]]\ |
| 269 | '''Le Chiffre:''' ''[huffs in annoyance, obliges with a THUMP!]''\ |
| 270 | '''Bond:''' ARGH - NO! ''[grunts loudly]'' To the ''right'', to the ''right!''\ |
| 271 | '''Le Chiffre:''' ''[chuckles]'' You are a very funny man, Mr. Bond! ''[THUMP!]''\ |
| 272 | '''Bond:''' ARGH - YES!! Yes! Yes! ''[laugh-sobbing]'' ''[[DefiantToTheEnd Now the whole world's gonna know that you died scratching my balls!]]'' |
| 273 | -->-- ''Film/{{Casino Royale|2006}}'' |
| 274 | |
| 275 | ->''"Do you know what they do to horses that can't be tamed, Johnny? They geld them."'' |
| 276 | -->-- '''Jennifer Hills''', ''Film/ISpitOnYourGrave'', shortly before doing just that to Johnny. |
| 277 | |
| 278 | ->''"Hey, you wanna be a farmer? Here's a couple of ache'rs!"'' |
| 279 | -->-- '''Jack Slater''', ''Film/LastActionHero'' |
| 280 | |
| 281 | ->''"Ooh, grabbed his clusters!"'' |
| 282 | -->-- '''Martin Riggs''', ''Film/LethalWeapon3'' |
| 283 | |
| 284 | ->'''Gunn:''' Come on, baby, it's time to [[PlayingDoctor play doctor]].\ |
| 285 | '''Abby:''' Betcha can't guess my favourite operation.\ |
| 286 | '''Gunn:''' What's that, baby?\ |
| 287 | '''Abby:''' A [[UnusualEuphemism vasectomy]]! |
| 288 | -->-- ''Film/TheReturnOfSwampThing'' |
| 289 | |
| 290 | ->''"Right in the round tables…"'' |
| 291 | -->-- '''The Black Knight Ghost''', ''Film/ScoobyDooMonstersUnleashed'' |
| 292 | |
| 293 | ->''"I take his weapons away from him. '''Both''' of them."'' |
| 294 | -->-- '''John Hartigan''' about a child rapist with a gun, ''ComicBook/SinCity'' |
| 295 | |
| 296 | ->''"An atom bomb goes off between my legs."'' |
| 297 | -->--'''Dwight [=McCarthy=]''', ''Film/SinCityADameToKillFor'', getting kicked in the nuts by [[ScaryBlackMan Manute]]. |
| 298 | |
| 299 | ->''"Say goodbye to your two best friends, and I don't mean your pals in the Winnebago."'' |
| 300 | -->-- '''Dark Helmet''', ''Film/{{Spaceballs}}'' |
| 301 | |
| 302 | ->'''Tracy:''' When we get out of here, Joel's going to be carrying his balls home in a knapsack.\ |
| 303 | '''Chris:''' Remind me never to piss you off, Tracy. |
| 304 | -->--''Film/{{Pumpkinhead}}'' |
| 305 | |
| 306 | ->''"If you damage my girls, I damage your boys."'' |
| 307 | -->-- '''Madame Blossom''', ''Film/TheManWithTheIronFists'' |
| 308 | |
| 309 | ->''"He used a blade. Stuck it up her joy trail, and [[GuttedLikeAFish slit her wide open]]. He could have done a slightly better job if he had more time. But overall, it was a good, efficient butchery."'' |
| 310 | -->-- '''Dr. Barry Jones''', ''Film/TheNewYorkRipper'' |
| 311 | |
| 312 | ->''"Right in the Smurfberries!"'' |
| 313 | -->-- ''Film/TheSmurfs2'' |
| 314 | |
| 315 | ->'''Eddie Valiant:''' ♪I'm through with taking falls♪\ |
| 316 | ♪And bouncing off the walls♪\ |
| 317 | ♪Without that gun, I'd have some fun♪\ |
| 318 | ♪I'd kick you in the♪ — ''[[CurseCutShort (vase falls on head)]]'' Oof!\ |
| 319 | '''Roger Rabbit:''' [[SubvertedRhymeEveryOccasion Nose!]]\ |
| 320 | '''Smart Ass:''' 'Nose'? That don't rhyme with walls!\ |
| 321 | '''Eddie Valiant:''' [[PreMortemOneLiner No, but this does!]] (kicks Smart Ass in the balls and into the vat of Dip) |
| 322 | -->-- ''Film/WhoFramedRogerRabbit'' |
| 323 | |
| 324 | ->''"Did I mention he's going to roast your nuts over an open fire? While they are still attached, of course."'' |
| 325 | -->-- '''Terry''' on Aeloth the Blind, ''Film/{{Deathgasm}}'' |
| 326 | |
| 327 | ->'''Rosemary:''' That would hit 'em where it hurts, wouldn't it?\ |
| 328 | '''Mrs. Prodworthy:''' Oh, please, Rosemary. You know I don't like any reference to that area of their ''so-called'' superiority. |
| 329 | -->-- ''Film/CarryOnGirls'' |
| 330 | |
| 331 | ->''"Well Emil, I guess it's just you... me... your balls... and this drawer. [...] Say Joe, wouldn't a couple of Danishes go great with this coffee?"'' |
| 332 | -->-- '''Pep Streebeck''', ''Film/{{Dragnet}}'' |
| 333 | |
| 334 | ->''"You bomb me with one more can kid, and I'll snap off your cojones and boil them in motor oil!"'' |
| 335 | -->-- '''Harry Lime''', ''Film/HomeAlone1'' |
| 336 | |
| 337 | ->'''Gideon Graves:''' That's my girl...\ |
| 338 | '''Ramona Flowers:''' Let's both be girls. ''[knees him in the groin]'' |
| 339 | -->-- ''Film/ScottPilgrimVsTheWorld'' |
| 340 | |
| 341 | [[/folder]] |
| 342 | |
| 343 | [[folder:Literature]] |
| 344 | |
| 345 | ->For there are eunuchs who were born that way from their mother's womb; and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men; and there are also eunuchs who made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the [[{{Heaven}} kingdom of heaven]]. He who is able to accept this, let him accept it. |
| 346 | -->-- '''[[Literature/TheFourGospels Matthew 19:12]]''' |
| 347 | |
| 348 | ->"Come on and rape me then, Tarzan. Let's see if you've got the dick for it."\ |
| 349 | He whipped her again, three times crosswise. Then she caught the belt, and tugged. He fell forwards onto her, his body on hers. He pulled his arm back to deliver a blow...\ |
| 350 | ...but she had him by the testicles.\ |
| 351 | "[[PreAssKickingOneLiner Let's see if you've got the...]]"\ |
| 352 | She pushed his chest hard, forcing him away from her, but her other hand still gripped hard.\ |
| 353 | "BALLS!"\ |
| 354 | There was a white-hot sunburst of agony between his legs, and [[BringMyBrownPants he felt his bowels letting go]]. |
| 355 | -->-- ''[[Creator/KimNewman Bloody Students]]'' |
| 356 | |
| 357 | ->I am not suggesting here that only guys have privates. I realize that women also have privates, and plenty of them. But their privates are a lot more ''private''. They are tucked safely away in various vaults of the female body; wheras the guy privates — which contain not only half of the guy's nerve endings, but are also a good 83 percent of his motivation — are, because of an incredibly stupid design flaw, hanging right out in the open in an absurdly vulnerable manner, like Harold Lloyd dangling from the face of the giant clock, waiting for disaster to strike. Almost every guy has, at one time or another, been traumatically whacked in the personal regions by a baseball or a bicycle bar or a knee or something, and this is the kind of thing a guy remembers for a ''long'' time. |
| 358 | -->-- ''Creator/DaveBarry's Complete Guide to Guys'' |
| 359 | |
| 360 | ->The foot delivered an unending holocaust of pain as it rocketed into Zamboni's crotch. |
| 361 | -->—- '''Leon Arnott''''s 3rd place-winning entry, ''Literature/LyttleLyttonContest 2007'' |
| 362 | |
| 363 | ->''"Ivan... do you remember, whenever one of you fellows got kicked in the nuts and went over, doing sports or whatever, how I laughed? I'm sorry. I never knew. I'm ''sorry''..."'' |
| 364 | -->-- '''Lord Dono Vorruyter''', [[GenderBender formerly Lady Donna]], ''Literature/ACivilCampaign'' |
| 365 | |
| 366 | ->''"Why does every woman have to rip my penis off?"'' |
| 367 | -->-- '''Jobe Wilkins''', ''Literature/WhateleyUniverse'' [[note]]yes, this happened more than once[[/note]] |
| 368 | |
| 369 | ->'''Shore Patrolman:''' If I were you, friend, I'd steer clear of Reinhardt.\ |
| 370 | '''Olaf Petersen:''' Reinhardt?\ |
| 371 | '''Shore Patrolman:''' Sergeant Arden Reinhardt. [[WhatDidIDoLastNight The guy whose wanger you whacked with the staple gun?]] He had a very hot date tonight, only his little German soldier's going to be wrapped up like King Tutankhamen for the next two months, and he isn't in the best of humours. Last I heard, he was having plans to return the favour, [[FreudianThreat only with hot steel rivets]].\ |
| 372 | '''Olaf Petersen:''' [[ShareTheMalePain Ouch]]. |
| 373 | -->-- ''Literature/RedDwarf: Backwards'' |
| 374 | |
| 375 | ->An aging warrior cut down in the vanguard of battle\ |
| 376 | disgraces the young. His head\ |
| 377 | is white, his beard is grey, and now he is spilling\ |
| 378 | his powerful spirit in the dust,\ |
| 379 | naked, clutching his bloody groin; a sight\ |
| 380 | for shame and anger. |
| 381 | -->-- '''Tyrtaios''', Spartan poet, 7th century BCE |
| 382 | |
| 383 | ->''"You mean to say you bit the top of the bastard's prick off, and he didn't even squeak?"': |
| 384 | -->-- A horrified cop hears what happens when a black-belt dwarf is targeted for rape, ''Literature/AncestralVices'' |
| 385 | [[/folder]] |
| 386 | |
| 387 | [[folder:Live-Action TV]] |
| 388 | |
| 389 | ->''"To the best of my knowledge no one has ever crushed the testicles of an assailant using a stringed instrument."'' |
| 390 | -->-- '''Poe''', ''Series/AlteredCarbon'' |
| 391 | |
| 392 | ->''"Check out the grip! Right now, his chances of having grandkids is dropping exponentially!"'' |
| 393 | -->-- '''Tom Bergeron''', host of ''Series/AmericasFunniestHomeVideos'', after a Slo-Mo Cam segment catches the fact that a dad put one of his son's groin in such a grip to push off in trying to save their camera. |
| 394 | |
| 395 | ->''"When you go to a dating site, people say they like to travel. I've never seen anybody on a dating site say they like groin shots."'' |
| 396 | -->-- '''Woody Paige''', ''Series/AroundTheHorn'' 9-23-2016 (during a discussion on proposed NBA rule changes to cut down on traveling and groin attack fouls) |
| 397 | |
| 398 | ->'''Clara:''' You know who the [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Castrato castrati]] were?\ |
| 399 | '''Víctor:''' Yes.\ |
| 400 | '''Clara:''' [[FakeOutMakeOut Kiss me again]] and you'll sing like them. |
| 401 | -->-- ''Bajo sospecha'' |
| 402 | |
| 403 | ->''"Congratulations. Today's the day a girl is gonna touch you in your special place."'' |
| 404 | -->-- '''Penny''', ''Series/TheBigBangTheory'' when helping Sheldon get his items back in ''VideoGame/WorldOfWarcraft''. |
| 405 | |
| 406 | ->'''Spanker:''' What are you going to do about it, old man?\ |
| 407 | '''Jason Bentley:''' Well, first I'm going to lean this way... ''[dodges punch]'' lean that way... ''[dodges punch]'' have a glass of wine... ''[elbows Spanker as he drinks]'' and then scratch my knee. ''[knees Spanker in the groin]'' |
| 408 | -->-- ''Series/TheComicStripPresents'', "Detectives on the Edge of a Nervous Breakdown" |
| 409 | |
| 410 | ->''[Clara kicks the Doctor's sonic screwdriver up in his lap, he makes a face]''\ |
| 411 | '''Clara:''' Sorry, did I hit something?\ |
| 412 | '''The Doctor:''' ''[pained]'' Oh, the symbolism... |
| 413 | -->-- ''Series/DoctorWho'', "Deep Breath" |
| 414 | |
| 415 | ->''"Your famous cock must be very precious to you. Would you say it's your most precious part? [...] I'm not killing you. Just making a few alterations."'' |
| 416 | -->-- '''Ramsay Snow''', ''Series/GameOfThrones'' |
| 417 | |
| 418 | ->'''Jefferson:''' Now, Al, I know what you're thinking...\ |
| 419 | '''Al:''' Really? Then why aren't you crossing your legs? |
| 420 | -->-- ''Series/MarriedWithChildren'' |
| 421 | |
| 422 | ->''"...My tenders!"'' |
| 423 | -->-- '''Fiore,''' upon receiving a BarrierBustingBlow below the belt, ''Series/{{Preacher|2016}}'' |
| 424 | |
| 425 | ->'''Duane:''' So, Tim. How have you been? I haven't seen you since, uhh...\ |
| 426 | ''[[[CallBack flashback to Tim and Duane's paintball match]]]''\ |
| 427 | '''Tim:''' Yeah, well. No hard feelings, eh?\ |
| 428 | '''Duane:''' You shot me in the bollocks, Tim.\ |
| 429 | '''Tim:''' Like I said. [[{{Pun}} No hard feelings.]] |
| 430 | -->-- ''Series/{{Spaced}}'', "Gone" |
| 431 | |
| 432 | ->''"Well, fate is sometimes very cruel, isn't it. Consider the concert pianist who has a hand crushed, a tennis player who breaks an elbow. I understand that George Carson ''used'' to be something of a ladies man."'' |
| 433 | -->-- '''Angus''', ''Series/{{Quiller}}'', "Any Last Request" |
| 434 | |
| 435 | ->'''Tony:''' He's leaving me no options. This guy's willing to go down with the ship like no man I've ever seen.\ |
| 436 | '''Hesh:''' Here's a thought... Maybe he's willing to go to the world to come, but if he's stuck here on this earth, I know one thing that no man wants to go through life without.\ |
| 437 | '''Tony:''' What? ''[grinning as he catches on]'' Oh, that's a fuckin' brilliant idea.\ |
| 438 | '''Hesh:''' Make like a mohel, huh? Finish his bris. |
| 439 | -->-- ''Series/TheSopranos'' "Denial, Anger, Acceptance" |
| 440 | |
| 441 | [[/folder]] |
| 442 | |
| 443 | [[folder:Music]] |
| 444 | |
| 445 | ->''"A trauma to the groin, boys, a trauma to the groin! Nothin's quite as funny, as a trauma to the groin! There is no wit more pretty, there is no joke divine, or limerick delicious as a trauma to the groin!"'' |
| 446 | -->-- '''Heywood Banks''', "Trauma to the Groin" |
| 447 | |
| 448 | ->''See, look at that chump, see the way that he struts?\ |
| 449 | Don't kick him in the rump, go nuts on his nuts!\ |
| 450 | Just pop a squat, start lettin' off the shots\ |
| 451 | Like knock, knock, knock, just cold clocked his cock!\ |
| 452 | You got desperate balls!'' |
| 453 | -->-- '''Juicy Karkass.''', "Punch 'em in the Dick" |
| 454 | |
| 455 | ->'''Performance reviewer:''' ... Ah ha. So that's an average day for you, then?\ |
| 456 | '''The Boss:''' No doubt.\ |
| 457 | '''Performance reviewer:''' You ''chop your balls off and die''.\ |
| 458 | '''The Boss:''' [[BluntYes Hell yeah.]] |
| 459 | -->-- '''Music/TheLonelyIsland''', "Like A Boss" |
| 460 | |
| 461 | ->''Holy fuck!\ |
| 462 | I don't know if you've been\ |
| 463 | Shot in the nuts,\ |
| 464 | Spoiler: it sucks!\ |
| 465 | And oh, Squirtle!\ |
| 466 | GottaCatchEmAll,\ |
| 467 | But they might just ruin your balls...'' |
| 468 | -->-- '''[[Music/StarBomb Danny Sexbang]]''', "Franchise/{{Pokemon}}: I Choose You To Die" |
| 469 | |
| 470 | ->''AND THEN HIS DICK FELL OFF.'' |
| 471 | -->-- '''Tai and Le Shuuk''', "Unicorn" |
| 472 | |
| 473 | ->''Kick your desperate balls\ |
| 474 | So watch your back or I might call\ |
| 475 | Kick your desperate balls\ |
| 476 | From left or right or from below\ |
| 477 | You got desperate balls!'' |
| 478 | -->-- '''U.D.O.''', "Desperate Balls" |
| 479 | |
| 480 | ->''Treat [[ActionGirl sword-ladies]] like sisters and not like some whore\ |
| 481 | Or your wenching days, child, will be few.'' |
| 482 | -->-- '''Creator/MercedesLackey''', [[https://youtu.be/NA83TUYnIo8 "Advice to Would-be Heroes"]] |
| 483 | |
| 484 | [[/folder]] |
| 485 | |
| 486 | [[folder:Tabletop Games]] |
| 487 | |
| 488 | ->In triumph, the [[DemonLordsAndArchdevils Blood Prince]] screamed its praise to [[WarGod Khorne]], but whilst it was distracted, the warband's remaining Weirdboys unleashed a storm of psychic energy upon the daemon. It roared in rage at their impudence, crushing their minds with a gesture. [[DyingMomentOfAwesome With his final act]], Tuska reached up between the creature's legs with his [[PowerPincers power klaw]] and [[UnusualEuphemism made a gesture of his own.]] |
| 489 | -->-- ''TabletopGame/{{Warhammer 40000}}, Codex: Orks'' on the end of Waaaagh! Tuska |
| 490 | |
| 491 | ->Light Injury, Immediate Effect: Character falls prone.\ |
| 492 | Heavy Injury, Immediate Effect: As Light plus the character is stunned for d3 turns.\ |
| 493 | Heavy Injury, Persistent Effect: Character suffers -1 Speed.\ |
| 494 | Acute Injury, Immediate Effect: As Heavy.\ |
| 495 | Acute Injury, Persistent Effect: As Heavy, Character adds d3 to his Injury total and is bleeding.\ |
| 496 | Crippled, Immediate Effect: Character automatically suffers system shock. |
| 497 | -->-- ''TabletopGame/{{Inquisitor}}'''s Groin Damage Table |
| 498 | |
| 499 | ->''"[[HumanoidAbomination Alexei]] glides its hand lower, and the [[{{Muggles}} kine]]'s thrashings [[OhCrap quicken anew]]. "Such a clumsy process, yes? Like a pig blindly rooting the muck for a truffle." Alexei looks up, staring with hooded lenses into the kine's white-rimmed orbs. It clenches its demonstrative hand, then casually yanks.\ |
| 500 | The staccato of the kine's skull beating itself against the metal backboard is as soothing as rain on a rooftop. Alexei scrutinizes its findings distastefully and flips its wrist towards the corner. I hear scuffling as [[TheIgor Radu and Mikhail]] squabble for the morsel."'' |
| 501 | -->-- ''TabletopGame/VampireTheMasquerade - Clanbook: Tzimisce'' |
| 502 | |
| 503 | ->Even the most fell of creatures have vulnerable areas, which any veteran worth their salt will be swift to take advantage of, and these viciously spiked knee pads were designed to do just that. |
| 504 | -->--''TabletopGame/WarhammerFantasy'''s description of the '''Spiky Knee Pads''' Veteran's Kit, which give the bearer the Stomp (auto-hit) special rule. |
| 505 | |
| 506 | [[/folder]] |
| 507 | |
| 508 | [[folder:Theatre]] |
| 509 | |
| 510 | ->''"Many years ago, I took my finger...and I pushed in my penis. And it hasn't come out since."'' |
| 511 | -->-- '''The Sultan''', ''Theatre/TwistedTheUntoldStoryOfARoyalVizier'' |
| 512 | |
| 513 | [[/folder]] |
| 514 | |
| 515 | [[folder:Video Games]] |
| 516 | |
| 517 | ->''"I know you're not a vegetarian, but I think we should go for the meat and two veg. Looks like he needs a bit of tenderizing, though. You know what I mean?"'' |
| 518 | -->-- '''Conker''' to Fangy the Raptor before their battle with Buga the Knut, ''VideoGame/ConkersBadFurDay'' |
| 519 | |
| 520 | ->The commotion outside your cell wakes you suddenly and you demand to know what's going on. Your jailors enter accompanied by an old, toothless man who is carrying a satchel full of surgical implements. "The Doux, in his infinite mercy, has ordered your release," one of the guards says. "After your [[CripplingCastration castration]] is complete."\ |
| 521 | '''No! NO!!! [[BigNo NOOOOOO!!!!!]] (character gains the "Eunuch" trait)''' |
| 522 | -->-- ''VideoGame/CrusaderKings II'', if your Byzantine character is castrated |
| 523 | |
| 524 | ->''"Right in the jewels."'' |
| 525 | -->-- '''Duke''', ''VideoGame/DukeNukemForever'' |
| 526 | |
| 527 | ->It is a gelding blow!\ |
| 528 | The [[UnusualEuphemism geldables]] have been torn away! |
| 529 | -->-- ''Videogame/DwarfFortress'' |
| 530 | |
| 531 | ->''"I'LL RIP OFF YOUR DICK AND [[GrievousHarmWithABody BEAT YOU WITH IT!]]"'' |
| 532 | -->-- '''Emet''', ''VideoGame/{{Evolve}}'' |
| 533 | |
| 534 | ->''"First, strike the crotch! Next, ''REALLY strike the crotch!'' Repentance through ''crotch violence!!'' Behold my Polygamy Castration Fist!"'' |
| 535 | -->-- '''Caster[=/=]Tamamo-no-Mae''', ''VideoGame/FateExtra'' |
| 536 | |
| 537 | ->''"This day has been nothing but insults and punches to groin…"'' |
| 538 | -->-- '''Gregor''', ''VideoGame/FireEmblemAwakening'' |
| 539 | |
| 540 | ->''"Well, Larry, this brings a whole new meaning to the term 'dismemberment!'"'' |
| 541 | -->-- ''VideoGame/LeisureSuitLarry2LookingForLoveInSeveralWrongPlaces'' |
| 542 | |
| 543 | ->''"Ha. Kick him in the [[ExoticEquipment quad!]]"'' |
| 544 | -->-- '''[[CoolOldLady Matriarch Aethyta]]''', ''VideoGame/MassEffect2'' |
| 545 | |
| 546 | ->'''Wrex:''' ''[grunt of discomfort]''\ |
| 547 | '''Shepard:''' Something wrong?\ |
| 548 | '''Wrex:''' Mordin. He got his tissue sample alright. Let's just say no scalpel should cut where he cut. |
| 549 | -->-- ''VideoGame/MassEffect3'' |
| 550 | |
| 551 | ->'''Johnny Cage:''' Shadow kick beats flying kick.\ |
| 552 | '''Liu Kang:''' Bicycle kick beats shadow kick.\ |
| 553 | '''Johnny Cage:''' But a nut punch wins the day. |
| 554 | -->-- ''VideoGame/MortalKombat11'' |
| 555 | |
| 556 | ->'''Chie:''' What the!? I can't believe this! It is completely cracked... My ''Trial of the Dragon''!\ |
| 557 | '''Yosuke:''' I think mine's cracked too... C-CriticalHit to the nads... |
| 558 | -->-- ''VideoGame/Persona4'' |
| 559 | |
| 560 | ->'''Cloud:''' I'll chop them off.\ |
| 561 | '''Aerith:''' I'll rip them off.\ |
| 562 | '''Tifa:''' I'll smash them. |
| 563 | -->--''VideoGame/FinalFantasyVII'' |
| 564 | |
| 565 | ->''"Don't act like you don't like the [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin Ball Buster!]]"'' |
| 566 | -->-- '''Gene''', ''VideoGame/GodHand'' end credits song |
| 567 | |
| 568 | ->''"Why did you draw a Nutshot Crawler?"'' |
| 569 | -->-- '''[[HaveANiceDeath FAIL Screen]]''', ''[[VideoGame/HenryStickminSeries Infiltrating the Airship]]'' |
| 570 | |
| 571 | ->''"If I don't get some food right now, I'm gonna punch somebody in the cunt/dick."'' |
| 572 | -->-- '''Audrey Belrose''', ''VideoGame/HuniePop'' |
| 573 | |
| 574 | ->'''Green Arrow:''' There's a rule about fighting circus freaks.\ |
| 575 | '''Joker:''' Do tell, Green Arrow.\ |
| 576 | '''Green Arrow:''' Aim for his balls. |
| 577 | -->-- ''VideoGame/Injustice2'', Spanish localization |
| 578 | [[/folder]] |
| 579 | |
| 580 | [[folder:Web Animation]] |
| 581 | |
| 582 | ->'''Joseph:''' Wait - isn't he in the, uh... Groin-Kick-Void or whatever?\ |
| 583 | '''Housemaster:''' I KIK HIM IN NUTZZZLOLOL!!! |
| 584 | -->-- ''WebAnimation/{{Arfenhouse}} Teh Movie Too'' |
| 585 | |
| 586 | ->''"What is your problem with my balls?!''\ |
| 587 | [several groin attacks later]\ |
| 588 | ''Why don't you just kill me?!"'' |
| 589 | -->-- '''Dexter Grif''', ''WebAnimation/RedVsBlue'' |
| 590 | |
| 591 | ->'''Junior:''' So, you know who I am. You got a name, Sweetheart?\ |
| 592 | '''Yang:''' ''[giggles]'' Yes, Junior, I've got several. But instead of "Sweetheart" you can just call me ''Sir.'' ''[crunch]''\ |
| 593 | '''Junior:''' ''[[[InstantSoprano yelps in pain]] as Yang grabs his crotch]'' |
| 594 | -->-- ''WebAnimation/{{RWBY}}'', [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QCw_aAS7vWI Yellow Trailer]] |
| 595 | |
| 596 | ->'''Boomstick:''' It's the [[{{Pun}} Nut Cracker]], the Berry Buster, the [[HitYouSoHardYourXWillFeelIt Infertilizer]], the Beanbag Barrage, the [[AccidentalInnuendo Not-That-Kind-Of-Blow]] Blow, and my personal favourite, the "[[BodyHorror Help Doctor I Think They're In My Ribcage]]" Special.\ |
| 597 | '''Wiz:''' That's horrifically disturbing.\ |
| 598 | '''Boomstick:''' It's ''inspiring'', that's what! ''[Johnny Cage]'''s strong enough to rip your whole body apart and send your Johnson flying off to another country! |
| 599 | -->-- ''WebAnimation/DeathBattle'', [[Franchise/MortalKombat Johnny Cage]] vs. [[VideoGame/FZero Captain Falcon]] |
| 600 | |
| 601 | ->'''Katie Killjoy:''' You are a limp-dicked jackass, Tom! Or should I say... ''[pours hot coffee into Tom's lap]'' no dick!\ |
| 602 | '''Tom Trench:''' ''[[OhNoNotAgain Not again....!]]'' |
| 603 | -->--''WebAnimation/HazbinHotel'' |
| 604 | |
| 605 | ->'''Squidward:''' Spongebob! Be careful with-\ |
| 606 | ''[[[SkywardScream cut to a picture of the Earth as Squidward screams]]]''\ |
| 607 | '''Squidward:''' Okay, I've had enough.\ |
| 608 | '''Mr. Krabs:''' ''[sees Squidward with a severed penis stump]'' Argh-argh-argh-argh-argh-argh! Don't bring anything on a boat that you aren't prepared to lose! |
| 609 | -->-- '''[[YouTubePoop YTP:]]''' '''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=za8UJ2ZsMpQ&t=251s Mr. Krubby Krabby Avenges Pearl Harbor]]''' |
| 610 | |
| 611 | ->'''Mike Vrabel:''' ''[to Tom Brady]'' Oh hey, old pal. ''[brandishes machete]'' I WILL CHOP OFF MY PENIS TO BEAT YOU!\ |
| 612 | '''Deshaun Watson, Josh Allen, Kirk Cousins, Marshawn Lynch, Carson Wentz, Sean Payton, and JJ Watt:''' VRABEL, NO!\ |
| 613 | ''[Later, at the end of the Wild Card poker game]''\ |
| 614 | '''Tom Brady:''' What!? Not the Titans!\ |
| 615 | '''Mike Vrabel:''' Here ya go, Tommy Boy! ''[drops heavily pixelated penis on poker table]''\ |
| 616 | '''Brady, Derrick Henry, and Ryan Tannehill:''' ''[All recoil in horror]'' NO! |
| 617 | -->-- ''WebAnimation/GridironHeights'' |
| 618 | |
| 619 | ->''"[[PokemonSpeak Kevin...]] ''[gets shot in the groin with a paintball]'' DE GROIN-AH!!!"'' |
| 620 | -->-- '''Kevin De Bruyne''', ''WebAnimation/{{The Champions|2018}}'' |
| 621 | |
| 622 | ->''"Ow my ovaries!"'' |
| 623 | -->-- A {{catchphrase}} of '''Bob''''s, ''[[WebAnimation/Supermarioglitchy4sSuperMario64Bloopers SMG4]]'' |
| 624 | |
| 625 | ->''"I can't feel my pingas!"'' |
| 626 | -->-- '''Mario''', ''[[WebAnimation/Supermarioglitchy4sSuperMario64Bloopers SMG4]]'', "[[Recap/Supermarioglitchy4sSuperMario64BloopersMariosMaskOfMadness Mario's Mask of Madness]]" |
| 627 | |
| 628 | ->''"Mario's penis just went to heaven."'' |
| 629 | -->-- '''Mario''', ''WebAnimation/SMG4Crew'', after trolling Meggy. |
| 630 | |
| 631 | ->''[Luis Suarez is taking a penalty kick with Cristiano Ronaldo standing to the side, completely naked and slapping his balls against his legs]''\ |
| 632 | '''Luis Suarez:''' ''[Clearly uncomfortable]'' Not looking... Not looking...\ |
| 633 | '''Cristiano Ronaldo:''' But you are listening... ''[grinning evilly while slapping his balls against his legs]'' Aren't you? [[PunctuatedForEmphasis You. Are. Listening!]]\ |
| 634 | '''Suarez:''' Just blow it!\ |
| 635 | '''Ronaldo:''' If only I could!\ |
| 636 | '''Suarez:''' I meant the airhorn!\ |
| 637 | '''Ronaldo:''' Oh... ''[Ronaldo slowly moves the airhorn down while still slapping his balls against his legs]'' Good luuuuck!\ |
| 638 | '''Suarez:''' ''[annoyed]'' Hurry up!\ |
| 639 | '''Ronaldo:''' Don't miiiisss!\ |
| 640 | '''Suarez:''' Hurry up!\ |
| 641 | '''Ronaldo:''' What's the rush?\ |
| 642 | '''Suarez:''' Blow it!\ |
| 643 | '''Ronaldo:''' Fine! I'll blow it! ''[Lowers the airhorn so it's on his balls]'' ''On my testicles.'' ''[blowing the airhorn on his balls for a long time]'' Ahhh, what a sensatio...\ |
| 644 | ''[Suarez deliberately kicks the ball square into Ronaldo's groin]''\ |
| 645 | '''Ronaldo:''' ...[[InstantSoprano OOOOOOOOOOON!]] Oh oh oh!\ |
| 646 | '''Suarez:''' Haha! Sorry guys, no point, but it was worth it!\ |
| 647 | '''Lionel Messi and Neymar:''' Agreed!\ |
| 648 | '''Ronaldo:''' ''[Still falsetto]'' Son of a bitch! |
| 649 | -->-- '''WebAnimation/The442oons:''' ''Distraction Penalties'' |
| 650 | |
| 651 | ->''"STERILITY!"'' |
| 652 | -->-- '''WebAnimation/DeathBattle:''' "Spongebob Squarepants vs. Superfriends Aquaman" |
| 653 | |
| 654 | ->'''[[WesternAnimation/LooneyTunes Daffy]]:''' [[TitleDrop I thlammed my penith in the car door.]]\ |
| 655 | '''[[VideoGame/ParappaTheRapper Parappa]]:''' [[DuckSeasonRabbitSeason You slammed your penis in the car door.]]\ |
| 656 | [''SLAM'']\ |
| 657 | '''Daffy:''' OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH!!! |
| 658 | -->-- ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ywnLQywz74 I thlammed my penith in the car door]]'' |
| 659 | |
| 660 | [[/folder]] |
| 661 | |
| 662 | [[folder:Web Comics]] |
| 663 | |
| 664 | ->''"HAHAHAHAH he kicked your genitals. Ninjas have no honor."'' |
| 665 | -->-- '''Dan [=McNinja=]''', ''Webcomic/TheAdventuresOfDrMcNinja'', [[http://drmcninja.com/archives/comic/17p46 March 26th, 2010]] |
| 666 | |
| 667 | ->''"Checkmate. ''[Crunch]'' Oops, sorry."'' |
| 668 | -->-- '''Saitama''' before and after unknowingly delivering one to Speed-o'-Sound Sonic, ''Webcomic/OnePunchMan'' |
| 669 | |
| 670 | ->'''Yosuke:''' Hey Chie, I—\ |
| 671 | '''Chie:''' TRIAL OF THE DRAGONNNN! |
| 672 | -->-- ''Webcomic/{{Hiimdaisy}}'', ''VideoGame/Persona4'' comic |
| 673 | |
| 674 | ->''"Metal foot! Metal foot... to... mantenna array! Pain levels... [[Creator/WilliamShatner Shatnerian]]... in intensity!"'' |
| 675 | -->-- '''Marten Reed''', ''WebComic/QuestionableContent'' [[http://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=746 #746]] |
| 676 | |
| 677 | ->'''Silas:''' I must say Harry, I never would expect you'd come this far just for one ''woman''. But that was always your problem, even in training, wasn't it Harry? Always chasing the girls and always getting caught. [[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech You might have gotten somewhere in life, only if you spent half as much time thinking with your brains as you did with your balls.]]\ |
| 678 | '''Harry:''' [[PreemptiveDeclaration Speaking of which.]] ''[Kicks Silas right in the sack]'' |
| 679 | -->-- ''Webcomic/ExterminatusNow'', ''[[http://exterminatusnow.co.uk/2007-12-29/comic/shades-of-black-and-white/dirty-harry-fights-dirty/ Dirty Harry Fights Dirty.]]'' |
| 680 | [[/folder]] |
| 681 | |
| 682 | [[folder:Web Original]] |
| 683 | |
| 684 | ->''"I cannot stress this enough. The plot of this movie . . . involves Batman being tasered in the crotch."'' |
| 685 | -->-- '''Chris Sims''' [[https://comicsalliance.com/death-batman-fan-film/ on]] ''The Death of Batman'' fan film |
| 686 | |
| 687 | ->''"What does this guy have against testicles?"'' |
| 688 | -->-- '''Geoff Ramsey''', commenting on ''VideoGame/{{Uncharted}}'' and Nathan Drake's favourite combat move |
| 689 | |
| 690 | ->''"Behind the penis is a lumpy bag. This bag is called the scrotum and the lumps inside it are the testicles. This part is also known as the 'balls', 'nuts', or 'that thing that really really hurt and was sore for days when I accidentally got hit there that one time in P.E."'' |
| 691 | -->-- ''Website/AsexualityArchive'', "[[https://www.asexualityarchive.com/an-asexuals-guide-to-male-anatomy/ An Asexual's Guide to Male Anatomy]]" |
| 692 | |
| 693 | ->Our wizard is a bit of a... lunatic to say the least?\ |
| 694 | He likes making planes.\ |
| 695 | Planes.\ |
| 696 | Plural.\ |
| 697 | His most recent creation was the "Plane of Infinite Fists and Punching", which was made involving a lot of absinthe and [[BareFistedMonk level 20 monks]]. Basically any sort of entrance or access to this place has fists constantly coming in and out, and just being in there is like receiving [[RapidFireFisticuffs billions of punches in a second]]. Not a fun place to be in.\ |
| 698 | Want to know how he killed the [[BigBad BBEG]] of the first part of our campaign?\ |
| 699 | Gate to the Plane of Infinite Fists and Punching. Now, before you think he shoved them in or made it just up in his face so he gets punched a lot, no.\ |
| 700 | He didn't do that.\ |
| 701 | You see, we used some third party feat book, and one let you craft gates into items. Any item. Any.\ |
| 702 | Want to know what our genius wizard does?\ |
| 703 | He disguises himself as the BBEG's personal tailor, and gives him a pair of briefs. Made from the Gate of Infinite Fists and Punching. They activate on a command word. Want to know what that command word is?\ |
| 704 | "Splendid!"\ |
| 705 | Which the wizard described them as once the BBEG put them on.\ |
| 706 | He was infinitely punched in the dick and ass by level 20 monks until he died.\ |
| 707 | Fucking wizards, man. |
| 708 | -->-- '''Anonymous poster''' on Website/FourChan's [[TabletopGames /tg/]] board. |
| 709 | |
| 710 | [[/folder]] |
| 711 | |
| 712 | [[folder:Web Videos]] |
| 713 | |
| 714 | ->''"Oooh, look at that! Chainsaw to the dick!"'' |
| 715 | -->-- '''WebVideo/TheAngryVideoGameNerd''', on a particularly nasty attack from the SNES version of ''Film/BatmanForever'' |
| 716 | |
| 717 | ->''"Barry shows Batman around the place, where humans have been subjected to the most bizarre, grotesque and inhumane experiments imaginable — including [[ElectricTorture electrocuting genitals]], because it's not evil science without fried genitals."'' |
| 718 | -->-- ''Website/{{Cracked}}'', [[http://www.cracked.com/article_19537_the-7-stupidest-attempts-to-reinvent-batman_p2.html The Seven Stupidest Attempts to Reinvent Batman]] |
| 719 | |
| 720 | ->''"Oh, my balls… Oh my tiny, delicate lady balls…"'' |
| 721 | -->-- '''Aisha Tyler''', ''Funny or Die'', "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y5x_N38u8oI Aisha Tyler Doesn't Need It]]" |
| 722 | |
| 723 | ->''"No, no, NO, NOOO! [[OwMyBodyPart MY TESTICLES!!]] I LOVE THEM!!"'' |
| 724 | -->-- '''WebVideo/{{Jacksepticeye}}''', seeing [[VideoGame/MortalKombatX Cassie Cage]]'s [[ThereIsNoKillLikeOverkill X-Ray attack]] |
| 725 | |
| 726 | ->''"Why would you attack a place God only intended to be treated nicely?!"'' |
| 727 | -->-- '''WebVideo/{{Jacksepticeye}}''', ''VideoGame/OutlastII'' |
| 728 | |
| 729 | ->''"[[CutHisHeartOutWithASpoon I'M GONNA BUILD YOU A PAIR OF RUNIC MECHANICAL BALLS AND USE SURGICAL PRECISION TO SEW THEM TO YOUR GROIN WHERE YOUR MANHOOD SHOULD BE JUST SO I CAN KICK 'EM WITH MY IRON FUCKING FEET, YOU TWAT!]]"'' |
| 730 | -->-- '''Urist the Dwarf''', ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=azOvRwrqz2M Ravandil's Quest]]'' |
| 731 | |
| 732 | ->'''Geoff:''' Do you think word has gotten around the military yet about me? They're like, "dude, seriously, I heard there was this guy-"\ |
| 733 | '''Michael:''' Dick Puncherello.\ |
| 734 | '''Geoff:''' Johnson told me about it. He just fuckin' was like an animal, like, every dick he saw...\ |
| 735 | '''Michael:''' There was no dick left unpunched.\ |
| 736 | '''Geoff:''' Guys were running away like crazy, cupping their balls, in every direction.\ |
| 737 | '''Michael:''' Swanson thought he was safe in the latrine. That's when they got him!\ |
| 738 | '''Geoff:''' I'm not even kidding, dude. It was a dick massacre.\ |
| 739 | '''Michael:''' It was a horrible night.\ |
| 740 | '''Geoff:''' All I heard was the sound of grown men whimpering and sobbing. |
| 741 | -->-- Creator/RoosterTeeth's LetsPlay of ''VideoGame/SaintsRowTheThird'', in which Geoff declares war on genitals |
| 742 | |
| 743 | ->''"This is why the hippo is truly a noble and majestic creature, because no hippo will ever swim up your dick."'' |
| 744 | -->-- '''Tara''' in response to a story about an eel who swam up a man's penis, ''WebVideo/WhatTheFuckIsWrongWithYou'', 9/19/11 Eel Spelunking |
| 745 | |
| 746 | ->''"''[...] I crashed in my back seat, for a couple 'a hours, [[MemeticMutation and I OOP]]...... ''[very long beat, followed by a deep breath]'' I just hit my balls."'' |
| 747 | -->-- '''[[Series/RuPaulsDragRace Jasmine Masters]]''', [[ThrowItIn unscripted moment]] from a [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g52aV8OcFcs&feature=emb_title vlog]] |
| 748 | |
| 749 | ->'''Cyanide:''' ''[drops controller]'' Ow! Ahh... that was my ball...\ |
| 750 | '''Soviet:''' [[FridgeLogic Singular? Why... why is that singular?]] |
| 751 | -->-- '''WebVideo/SovietWomble''', ''Random Rocket League Bullshittery'' |
| 752 | |
| 753 | ->''"Don't fuck with us, or we'll rip your nuts off!"'' |
| 754 | -->-- ''Advertising/BigBillHells'' |
| 755 | |
| 756 | ->'''King Minos:''' Excuse me, sir. You're just in time for the event.\ |
| 757 | '''[=V1=]:''' What event?\ |
| 758 | '''King Minos:''' Weiner Compression Day! |
| 759 | -->-- '''WebVideo/Max0r''''s ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKx1oGw0IRM An Incorrect Summary of]] VideoGame/{{Ultrakill}} -- Act I'' |
| 760 | |
| 761 | ->''"So basically... Ultraman Ace basically likes hitting people in the nuts. Basically. Ok, good to know, good to know, I know if I see him in a fight, all I know is, as soon as he starts fighting, you'll have to learn to put *one* hand ''down'' there (near the groin) to defend yourself while you're fighting with one hand You know what I mean? (there's like) A fair punch, do a little kick, you've got to protect *''that''* down there, if you're a male monster. You've got to protect them. For he (Ultraman Ace) is going to hit you. He's going to hit you where it ''hurts the most''!"'' |
| 762 | -->-- '''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AJKCl4tpl64 BlackGhostFace]]''', reactions and review on ''Series/UltramanAce'' |
| 763 | |
| 764 | [[/folder]] |
| 765 | |
| 766 | [[folder:Western Animation]] |
| 767 | |
| 768 | ->''"You're the goodest of heart and most righteous hero I've seen here. Tenderness! Ingenuity! Bravery! Nard-kicking ability!"'' |
| 769 | -->-- '''Mannish Man the Minotaur''', ''WesternAnimation/AdventureTime'', "The Enchiridion!" |
| 770 | |
| 771 | ->''"OUR CROTCH! OUR EVIL CROTCH!!!"'' |
| 772 | -->-- '''Two-headed monster''', ''WesternAnimation/AdventureTime'', "Freak City" |
| 773 | |
| 774 | ->''"[[IceCreamKoan But master, does not the fire need water too? Does not the mountain need the storm? Does not your scrotum need kicking?]]"'' |
| 775 | -->-- '''Beavis,''' ''WesternAnimation/BeavisAndButthead'', "Dream On" |
| 776 | |
| 777 | ->''"Stomp 'em in tha nutz! Stomp 'em in tha nutz! Stomp 'em in tha nutz!"'' |
| 778 | -->-- '''Thugnificent''', ''WesternAnimation/TheBoondocks'' |
| 779 | |
| 780 | ->''"Would you ''please'' leave my testicles alone?!"'' |
| 781 | -->-- '''Trevor Belmont''', ''WesternAnimation/{{Castlevania|2017}}'' |
| 782 | |
| 783 | ->''"YOU. HAVE BEEN KICKED. IN THE TESTICLES."'' |
| 784 | -->-- '''Bill Dauterive''' to Hank Hill, as the latter regains consciousness after a particularly hard GroinAttack, ''WesternAnimation/KingOfTheHill'' |
| 785 | |
| 786 | ->''"Earth Rick C-137! The Council of Ricks sentences you to the Machine of Unspeakable Doom, [[AndIMustScream which swaps your conscious and unconscious minds, rendering your fantasies pointless while everything you've known becomes impossible to grasp]]! [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking Also]], every ten seconds, it stabs your balls."'' |
| 787 | -->-- '''Council of Ricks Spokesperson''', ''WesternAnimation/RickAndMorty'' |
| 788 | |
| 789 | ->'''[[ToxicInc Pan-Global Oil]] Employee:''' You got [[EyeScream glass in my eye!]]\ |
| 790 | '''Ted Turner:''' And my foot in your ''balls! [[WesternAnimation/CaptainPlanetAndThePlaneteers CAPTAIN PLANET!!]]'' |
| 791 | -->-- ''WesternAnimation/RobotChicken'' |
| 792 | |
| 793 | ->''"But the ball! His groin! It works on so many levels!"'' |
| 794 | -->-- '''Homer Simpson''' critiques the amateur film "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mV1LWhNpTJU Man Getting Hit By Football]]," ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons'' |
| 795 | |
| 796 | ->''"Ow my thingies!"'' |
| 797 | -->-- '''Homer Simpson''', ''The Simpsons'', "Goo Goo Gai Pan" |
| 798 | |
| 799 | ->''"I say, I say, my groin!"'' |
| 800 | -->-- '''Homer Simpson''', ''The Simpsons'', "Mr Spritz Goes To Washington" |
| 801 | |
| 802 | ->''"Why do they always go for the kiwis? Why?!"'' |
| 803 | -->-- '''Duncan''', ''[[WesternAnimation/TotalDrama Total Drama Action]]'', "[[Recap/TotalDramaOneMillionBucksBC One Million Bucks, B.C.]]" |
| 804 | |
| 805 | ->''"Ours is an unforgiving world Domzalski. Hence, the third rule: When in doubt, always kick them in the gronk-nuks."'' |
| 806 | -->-- '''Blinky''', ''[[WesternAnimation/{{Trollhunters}} Trollhunters: Tales of Arcadia]]'' |
| 807 | |
| 808 | ->''"Where's Lynn's hand-me-down when I need it?"'' |
| 809 | -->-- '''Lincoln Loud''' (her hand-me-down was a jockstrap), ''WesternAnimation/TheLoudHouse'', "Hand-Me-Downer" |
| 810 | |
| 811 | [[/folder]] |
| 812 | |
| 813 | [[folder:Real Life]] |
| 814 | |
| 815 | ->''"I grew up castrating hogs on an Iowa farm. So when I get to Washington, I'll know how to cut pork!"'' |
| 816 | -->-- '''Joni Ernst''''s [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p9Y24MFOfFU "Squeal"]] ad |
| 817 | |
| 818 | ->''"Some chick came up to me and said something, so I kicked her in the box and shoved her."'' |
| 819 | -->-- '''Music/AvrilLavigne''', ''Maxim'' September 2004 |
| 820 | |
| 821 | ->"''TIL an Allosaurus pubic bone fossil was discovered in 1999 with a huge puncture in it and evidence of infection and enormous abscess that likely killed the animal. The injury has been interpreted as the Allosaurus getting owned straight in the dick by a Stegosaurus's tail spikes.''" |
| 822 | -->-- '''[[https://twitter.com/CharlemagnumPI/status/1501375107914158080 This Twitter post]]''' detailing a fossil of an ''Allosaurus'' that suffered an instance of this trope when it was alive in the Jurassic Period, courtesy of a Stegosaurus's thagomizer |
| 823 | |
| 824 | [[/folder]] |
| 825 |
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