Line #65 Quotes/Dissimile


1	->''One of these things is not like the other things\
2	One of these things just doesn't belong\
3	Can you guess which thing is not like the other thing\
4	Before I finish my sooooooooooong?''
5	-->-- '''''Series/SesameStreet'''''
6	----
7	[[foldercontrol]]
8
9	[[folder:Anime and Manga]]
10	->'''Ronove:''' Doing boxing with just your arms makes you but half a man. Arms are like the hot roar of a lion. And legs are like the cold snake closing in on its prey.\
11	'''Jessica:''' Snakes don't have legs!\
12	'''Ronove:''' Pu ku ku, true.
13	-->-- ''VisualNovel/UminekoWhenTheyCry: Alliance of the Golden Witch''
14	[[/folder]]
15
16	[[folder:Fan Fiction]]
17	->'''Beanie''': Forget 'Monday Night ''[[AlliterationAndAdventurers S&S]]'' ' -- the shop's packed out ''every night'' with a good ''dozen'' or so campaigns running at any given time. Every. ''Single.'' '''''Night.'''''\
18	'''Mike''': Holy shit. So it's like [[FanConvention HumieCon]], but on a smaller scale.\
19	'''[[DeadpanSnarker Beanie]]''': Sure, yeah. I mean, as long as [=HumieCon=] is literally your only reference point for a group of people interacting.\
20	'''Mike''': Well -- no, I mean, because at [=HumieCon=]--\
21	'''Beanie''': No, I got it. Just like how this is like [=HumieCon=], but on a smaller scale. And on a lake. And all the guests are people we know, instead of people who like humans.\
22	'''Mike''': Okay, but--\
23	'''Beanie''': Or like you! You're basically [=HumieCon=], but with only a single person.\
24	'''Mike''': Oh my god, Beanie, just rake me over the coals for trying to show an interest, why don't you.
25	-->-- ''Fanfic/RoommatesMemoirsOfTheHairlessApe''
26	[[/folder]]
27
28	[[folder:Film]]
29	->'''Deacon:''' I think we drink [[VirginSacrifice virgin blood]] because... [[RuleOfCool it sounds cool]].\
30	'''Vladislav:''' I think of it like this: If you are going to eat a sandwich... you would just enjoy it more if you knew no one had fucked it.
31	-->-- ''Film/WhatWeDoInTheShadows''
32	[[/folder]]
33
34	[[folder:Literature]]
35	->''"[Shallan] turned back to Pattern, who had shifted into his hovering form. He looked something like the pattern of splintered light thrown on the wall by a crystal chandelier--except he was made of something black instead of light, and he was three-dimensional. So... Maybe not much like that at all."''
36	-->-- ''Literature/WordsOfRadiance'' (second book of ''Literature/TheStormlightArchive'')
37
38	->''"Over the next fifty years, very little of interest occurred in [[HauntedHouse the dwelling]], except for a dozen deaths by [[UsefulNotes/TheSpanishFlu Spanish flu]], the murder of an abusive husband, the last stand of a Boston gangster, a ''[[Radio/TheWarOfTheWorlds1938 War of the Worlds]]''–incited suicide pact, five dismembered pets, and twenty-seven missing children who had entered on a dare -- the same as any old house."''
39	-->-- ''Literature/AnUnattractiveVampire'' by [=Jim McDoniel=]
40	[[/folder]]
41
42	[[folder:Live-Action TV]]
43	->''"We are [[JustLikeRobinHood like Robin Hood]]. We steal from the club and we give to ourselves."''
44	-->-- '''Andy Dwyer''', ''Series/ParksAndRecreation''
45
46	->''"You can't just say a thing is just like another thing but without the traits that define that thing. Then you're not talking about that thing. 'This thing is amazing! It's like a bicycle but without wheels or handle bars!', and you're like 'Yeah, it's a fucking chair!'"''
47	-->-- '''Creator/JonStewart''', ''Series/TheDailyShow''
48
49	->''"A few years ago, some people tried to destroy my family. They attacked my father's reputation, they attacked my mother's reputation, and they attacked the World Wrestling Federation. They tried to rip us apart -- but all they did was make my family stronger. And that's exactly how America feels right now. Because on Tuesday, America was attacked. Because America is a united nation. And together, we stand strong. I am incredibly proud to be an American citizen, and I will stand up for my rights and my freedom."''
50	-->-- '''Wrestling/StephanieMcMahon''' draws a comparison between her family's legal troubles and the September 11th terror attacks
51
52	->''"Yeah, it's fine, we're just entering conceptual space. Imagine a banana, or anything curved; actually don't, because it's not curved or like a banana. Forget the banana!"''
53	-->-- '''The Eleventh Doctor''', ''Series/DoctorWho''
54
55	->''"The doors of Darkplace were open. Not the literal doors of the building, most of which were closed. But evil doors. Dark doors. Doors, to the beyond. Doors that were hard to shut because they were abstract and didn't have handles. They were more like portals really."''
56	-->-- '''Dr. Rick Dagless M.D.''', ''Series/GarthMarenghisDarkplace''
57
58	->''"Newspaper Movie is a non-stop thrill ride, if your idea of a thrill ride is seeing middle-aged white people typing for two hours."''
59	-->-- '''Los Angeles Times''' review for '''[[RealTrailerFakeMovie Newspaper Movie]]''', ''Series/LateNight''
60
61	->''"Well, you know what it sometimes is like, like, er... well, I can't quite think of anything like this..."''
62	-->-- '''Henning Wehn''', ''Series/WouldILieToYou''
63
64	->''"Wow, that's kind of like Batman's origin story, in a way. I mean, except your parents didn't die and you don't have a butler. You're not that rich, either, or else you'd fix this radio. Probably have a better car, too. Not all that smart, either. Not like Batman."''
65	-->-- '''Cheese''', ''Series/ReservationDogs''
66	[[/folder]]
67
68	[[folder:Video Games]]
69	->Becoming a zombie is a lot like studying for a test, except instead of reading books, your body is being taken over by an accursed rot. Hmm. Maybe it's not like studying at all.
70	-->--'''Information Guy''', ''VideoGame/JimmyAndThePulsatingMass''
71
72	->Just like a militia, the Dozens. [[AngryMob Except for the training. And the discipline. And the code of honor]].
73	-->--'''Edér''', ''VideoGame/PillarsOfEternity''
74
75	->I shall be as quiet as a calm sea! Which is...not '''very''' quiet.
76	-->--'''[[LargeHam Durance]]''', ''VideoGame/PillarsOfEternity''
77
78	->You know that ad where someone gets chocolate into someone else’s peanut butter and someone else gets peanut butter into someone else’s chocolate? That is basically what happened with 36 River Walk Drive except instead of a peanut butter cup you have a mostly underwater house and instead of being delicious it is soggy and bad.
79	-->--'''Bethany''', ''VideoGame/CragneManor''
80
81	[[/folder]]
82
83
84	[[folder:Web Original]]
85	->''"Was it true? Had Wrestling/{{Lex\|Luger}} traded in the red, white, and blue for [[Wrestling/TedDiBiase DiBiase’s]] green? No, said Luger. {{Wrestling/Tatanka}} insisted Luger was lying, while Lex embarked on a lousy PR campaign...\
86	The purpose of this dud of an angle? Vince had to ham-fistedly prove a point about [[RealLifeWritesThePlot his steroid trial that summer.]] See, just because someone was accused of wrongdoing didn’t mean he wasn’t '''totally 100% innocent'''. If Lex Luger could be framed, so could Wrestling/VinceMcMahon! And I guess that meant [[DrFeelgood Dr. Zahorian]] was like [=Ted DiBiase?=] And that it was the federal prosecutor who was actually distributing the steroids, not Vince? Okay, I guess the parallels ended there. In other words, this angle was the second-most insulting analogy for the [=McMahon=] steroid trial in history. But you’ve got to admire [=McMahon’s=] chutzpah for using Lex Luger [[CanonSue as a symbol of his innocence]] on steroid charges."''
87	-->-- '''''{{Website/Wrestlecrap}}''''', [[http://www.wrestlecrap.com/inductions/lexsellsout/ "Lex Luger, Million Dollar Sellout?"]]
88
89	->''"Pimpin' ain't easy and neither is long division."''
90	-->-- '''[[Creator/BenCroshaw Yahtzee Croshaw]]'''
91
92	->''"Playing card games is {{just like making love}}. You usually do it on a table, and you always feel deep shame when it's finished. Also, the older you get, the less fun it is. So remember, [[{{Metaphorgotten}} always wear a condom when playing card games]]."''
93	-->-- '''Grandpa''', ''WebVideo/YuGiOhTheAbridgedSeries''
94
95	->'''Jerry Van Dyke:''' Mom, you're a car? I didn't think that things like this were possible!\
96	'''Mom:''' I understand there's a baseball team called the Mets. If that's possible, anything's possible.\
97	'''Mechanic:''' You call that a joke? I don't care if this thing is your mom, fuck you both. ''(is electrocuted)'' '''''AIIIIEEEE!!'''''\
98	'''Mom: [-YOU SHALL DIE HERE!!-]\
99	Jerry:''' Cut! Lock down the set! It's happening again!
100	-->-- '''{{Creator/Seanbaby}}''' [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-worst-tv-decisions-ever-made-by-tv-executives-twice/#ixzz33RzkX1FG on]] ''Series/MyMotherTheCar''
101
102	->It's like {{Russian Roulette}}. Except nobody's dying, and [[MaximumFunChamber everyone gets egg rolls]]. So actually, it's like a pizza party. Except no one gets pizza, and everyone gets egg rolls.
103	-->-- '''Harley''', ''WebVideo/EpicMealTime''
104
105	->''VideoGame/SuperMario64'' is the ''Film/CitizenKane'' of gaming, in that they're both based on the life of William Randolph Hearst.
106	-->-- '''''{{Website/Cracked}}''''', [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-video-games-invented-inside-other-video-games/ "6 Video Games Invented Inside of Other Video Games"]]
107
108	-> ''It's like ordering fries off the dollar menu, only they cost $15 and are a pumpkin.''
109	-->-- '''''{{Website/Cracked}}''''', [[https://www.cracked.com/article_18570_6-companies-that-make-money-solving-problems-they-made-up.html 6 Companies That Make Money Solving Problems (That They Made Up)]]
110
111	->''"Uh, Lana, I saw Lex torture a guy. He killed you in an alternate reality. He's working with a guy who tried to kill me... He tortured Cyborg. He's generally dag nasty evil. Clear as purple crayon. And you believed that [[AesopAmnesia until last week.]]'\
112	Actually, the dialogue, verbatim, is this:''\
113	'''Clark:''' You can't trust Lex. ''A given now, that Lana herself has stated many times.''\
114	'''Lana:''' And I can trust '''[[NoYou YOU?]]'''\
115	''This is Lana (and by proxy the writer) equivocating Clark and Lex, intimating that because Clark didn't tell Lana his secret, he's just as bad a guy as Lex is. Lex, [[LongList who lies, tortures, kills, creates genetic diseases, shoots up hospitals]]..."''
116	-->-- '''Neal Bailey''' [[http://www.supermanhomepage.com/tv/tv.php?topic=reviews/smallville5-ep20 on]] ''{{Series/Smallville}}'' ("Fade")
117
118	->''"''Duck and Cover'' is a civil defense film from 1951 that was shown to elementary school students well into the late 1960s and maybe later. It stars "Bert the Turtle", who knows to duck inside his shell as soon as a monkey threatens him with a firecracker.\
119	According to the film, hitting the dirt and covering yourself with a newspaper in case of a nuclear attack will protect you just as much as a turtle shell protects against a firecracker.\
120	Of all the civil defense films made in the 1940s-1960s, this is probably the best known because it was so widely shown to schoolkids and because, on face value, it is incredibly stupid."''
121	-->-- '''''Rational Wiki'''''
122
123	->''"''[=BuzzFeed=]'' has been around for a while, but they reached a new low in 2013 with 'The Story Of Egypt's Revolution In ''Film/JurassicPark'' Gifs.' Not only was this 'article' an insulting, condescending simplification of a country's painful struggle for human rights, it made absolutely no fucking sense. The only thing [=BuzzFeed=] and the Egyptian political crisis have in common is that [[TakeThat they both involve crimes against humanity]] -- in Egypt unarmed protestors have been shot, while at ''[=BuzzFeed=]'' someone wrote 'They found a democracy DNA strand frozen in amber' and [[KarmaHoudini was given money instead of a pink slip]]. If you don't see the problem, imagine how people would react if a Middle Eastern website ran 'The Story of 9/11 In ''{{WesternAnimation/Aladdin}}'' Clips.'"''
124	-->-- '''''Blog/ToplessRobot''''', [[http://www.toplessrobot.com/2014/01/8_low_points_for_nerds_in_2013.php?page=2 "2013's 8 Worst Moments in Nerdery"]]
125
126	->''"'What is it about the "lunch counter" that is different from a date? ... is it violence to be overtly racist in selecting a romantic interest? If so, how should we prevent it? If not, why not. Is it because the relationship is not primarily economical, in the narrow sense?'\
127	What sort of [[ChewbaccaDefense brain-damage]] does it take to argue this with a straight face? Do they really, really, think someone will say 'My god, a lunch counter is JUST LIKE a romantic interest. There's no way to someone could tell them apart. If a business doesn't want to serve any blacks, that's just like not having sex with someone'? But apparently, this is all part of the '[[{{Newspeak}} right of association]]' in Libertarianism."''
128	-->--'''[[http://sethf.com/essays/major/libstupid.php Seth Finkelstein]]''', "Libertarianism Make You Stupid"
129
130	->Film/{{Bumblebee}} ''is [[ABoyAndHisX a horse girl movie]], if the horse was [[HumongousMecha a large person]] and [[AlienAmongUs wanted by the US government]].''
131	-->--'''Website/{{Tumblr}}'' user [[https://hekubaroughridge.tumblr.com/post/616334795674419200/bumblebee-is-a-horse-girl-movie-if-the-horse-was-a hekubaroughridge]]
132
133	->'''Jay:''' Rich, can you just think about the fact that you compared ''[[UltraSuperDeathGorefestChainsawer3000 Killing American Style]]'' to ''Film/TheLastTemptationOfChrist''? Just think about that.\
134	'''Rich:''' I'm so ashamed.
135	-->-- ''WebVideo/HalfInTheBag'', Episode 20
136
137	->''"Jungles are really just mountains, but with more plants and more flat."''
138	-->-- '''Eloy of the Stonkydonk''' attempting to justify why he is qualified to navigate the jungle area, ''WebVideo/TFSAtTheTable''
139
140	->While I was able to deduce that the Microsoft Kinect would be a crap gaming system simply by using my magnificent brain, I recently picked one up anyway, because Pope Urban XIII probably thought he was very clever when he condemned Galileo but who got the last laugh there? ...Well he did when Galileo died in poverty and dishonour, but what I'm saying is that I'm basically like the Pope.
141	-->'''WebAnimation/ZeroPunctuation'''
142
143	->It's like shooting fish in a barrel. Except we're not shooting, they're not fish, and there's no barrel.
144	-->-- '''Link''', ''WebVideo/RhettAndLink: Commercial Kings''
145	[[/folder]]
146
147	[[folder:Webcomics]]
148	->'''Frans Rayner:''' AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAH! Haha...ha...ha. Why are you looking at me like that?\
149	'''Gordito:''' You killed a bunch of ninjas in the 80s, so now you've made a bunch more to kill. Your maniacal laughing is like a fat man who's just restocked his freezer with hot pockets.\
150	'''Frans Rayner:''' Ooh...no no. I'm laughing like a fat man who is nearing the final steps of his lifelong journey to power. And he's actually in really good shape and not fat at all.
151	-->-- ''Webcomic/TheAdventuresOfDrMcNinja''
152	[[/folder]]
153
154	[[folder:Western Animation]]
155	->'''Lois''': Peter, I wish you'd go over there and patch things up with Joe.\
156	'''Peter''': Hey, screw him, Lois! He doesn't need us anymore now that he's got his "cool new friends"! I tell you, those legs have turned him into a complete jerk! It's like giving a monkey the keys to an amusement park!\
157	'''Lois''': ...How is that?\
158	'''Peter''': How is what?\
159	'''Lois''': How is it ''anything'' like a monkey having the keys to an amusement park?\
160	'''Peter''': I dunno... The hours would be erratic... Maintenance would probably suffer to some degree... The prizes for games of chance would all be bananas- L-Lois, don't call me on this stuff, alright?! I'm- Just go with it! Support me in these moments! I'm hurt! I lost my buddy!
161	-->--''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy''
162
163	[[/folder]]
164
165	[[folder:Real Life]]
166	->"'Isn't it desirable that the aged should have medical care in times of illness?', its advocates clamor...There would be no controversy about the moral character of some young hoodlum who declared, 'Isn't it desirable to have a yacht, to live in a penthouse and to drink champagne?', and stubbornly refused to consider the fact that he had robbed a bank and killed two guards to achieve that 'desirable' goal."''
167	-->--'''Creator/AynRand''' on Medicare, ''The Virtue of Selfishness''
168
169	->''"In my own little way, I understood Music/MichaelJackson. If I use my credit card, they go 'Oh my gosh, there's Lisa Frank who makes the stickers!'"''
170	-->-- [[SmallNameBigEgo Stationery magnate]] '''Lisa Frank'''
171
172	->''"I mean, I don't know if it's just me, but it looks just like anything you'd see {{Music/Madonna}} or Music/BritneySpears do onstage -- heh, yeah, get an NEA grant for something like this!"''
173	-->--'''Radio/RushLimbaugh''' on the Abu Ghraib prisoner abuse scandal
174
175	->''"Religion, they believe, is a personal matter; if it must be given external manifestation, that should not occur in public places where others may be offended. I can understand that attitude: It parallels my own toward [[GrumpyOldMan the playing in public of rock music]] or [[Music/IgorStravinsky Stravinsky]]."''
176	-->--U.S. Supreme Court Justice '''Antonin Scalia''', ''Elmbrook School District v. John Doe'', dissenting opinion
177
178	->''"Rape is simply sex. Women enjoy sex, so rape cannot be such a terrible physical ordeal. To suggest that rape, when conducted without violence, is a serious crime is like suggesting that [[{{Unishment}} force-feeding a woman chocolate cake]] is a heinous offence. A woman would be more inconvenienced by having her handbag snatched."''
179	-->-- '''Nick Erikse''', London Assembly election candidate (BNP)
180
181	->''"I feel like 'embattled' or 'disgraced' will always follow my name. It's like that black football player who recently came out. He said, 'I just want to be known as a football player. I don't want to be known as a gay football player.' I know exactly what he's saying. I'm fighting to get my name back."''
182	-->-- Political exile '''[[RacistGrandma Paula Deen]]'''
183
184	->''"I think that sometimes when people hear that I might have gotten success off of [[Series/KeepingUpWithTheKardashians a reality show]], they take that as a negative. We're filming our tenth season right now and we've had nine seasons of spin-offs, so our show, we have more episodes than ''Series/ILoveLucy''."''
185	-->-- '''Creator/KimKardashian''', Re/Code Code/Mobile conference (2014)
186
187	->''"That's a good komparison, because it's well known that Lucy, a legendary comedian, got ''I Love Lucy'' after [[PretenderDiss the F-list brother of a singer peed on her in a sex tape]]."''
188	-->-- '''[[http://dlisted.com/2014/10/29/night-crumbs-220/ Michael K.]]''', on the above quote
189
190	->''"Football is like chess, only without the dice."''
191	-->-- Attributed to '''Lukas Podolski''', German football player
192	[[/folder]]

Context Quotes / Dissimile