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Context Quotes / DisproportionateRetribution

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1[[foldercontrol]]
2
3[[folder:Anime and Manga]]
4->'''Escargoon''': Sire, a message from your fortune teller.\
5'''King Dedede''': Well? What's my soothsayer say?\
6'''Escargoon''': I'm lookin', I'm lookin'. ''(unwraps the fortune)'' It says, "If you look for trouble, your trouble will double." ''(gasps)''\
7'''King Dedede''': Hmph. What's that mumbo-gumbo supposed to mean?\
8'''Escargoon''': I'm not sure, but there's more.\
9'''King Dedede''': Good. Is it next week's lottery numbers?\
10'''Escargoon''': If it was, I wouldn't tell you. It says, "Your account is past due. Pay up, you cheap tightwad!" ''(gets hammered)'' Great. Just 'cause I'm a snail, I get slugged.\
11'''King Dedede''': Well I'll show her. ''(throws hammer away)'' I'm orderin' a new monster.\
12'''Escargoon''': Did you order me some aspirin?
13-->-- ''Anime/KirbyRightBackAtYa'', ''"The Fofa Factor"''
14
15->''"It's not justice if you don't go overboard. That is my policy!"''
16-->-- '''Myouri Unzen''', ''Manga/MedakaBox''
17
18->''"Unforgivable! To be equated with that miserable creature! So humiliating!"''
19-->-- '''Boris Tepes Dracula's''' reaction to '''Horohoro''' comparing him to '''Kouji Yamada''' in terms of vampiric appearance, ''Manga/ShamanKing''
20
21->''"You know, she ate my ice cream last night. I'll never forgive her for that."''
22-->-- '''Asagi's mother''', ''Manga/{{Yotsuba}}''
23[[/folder]]
24
25[[folder:Comic Books]]
26->''"I don't think [[IfICantHaveYou murder]] is an appropriate reaction to [[AllLoveIsUnrequited disappointment.]]"''
27-->-- '''Anya,''' ''ComicBook/AnyasGhost''
28
29->''Maybe it was just a coincidence that the chef laughed while looking in the Penguin's direction. Maybe he just happened to think of something funny, some joke he'd heard the other day, while glancing around the room. Maybe there was nothing malicious about it at all. [[HopeSpot But in the end... it really didn't matter. And so they ate their dinner, and enjoyed their evening, and the Penguin never said a word about the chef who'd laughed.]] But a few days later, that building had a new owner, and the restaurant was forced to close, its employees all fired. And the day after losing his job, the chef found that his girlfriend had been suddenly deported to Romania, and his best friend arrested for child pornography, despite his insistence that he was framed. The day after that, a new tenant moved in next door and began blasting their stereo at all hours of the day and night. The landlord stopped taking his calls. The church he attended was closed for fumigation, after a bizarre infestation of killer bees. The park where he liked to sit and read was annexed and bulldozed. And then the chef, who was a recovering alcoholic, woke one morning to find that a 24-hour liquor store had opened across the street from his apartment. Less than two months after [[TraumaCongaLine he'd crossed paths with the Penguin]], a night janitor found the chef in a bus station restroom. [[DrivenToSuicide He'd hanged himself.]]''
30-->-- ''ComicBook/JokersAsylum: Penguin''
31[[/folder]]
32
33[[folder:Comic Strips]]
34->[having just shot a companion] ''"You guys are all witnesses... he laughed when my marshmallow caught fire."''
35-->-- '''Cowboy #5'''. ''ComicStrip/TheFarSide''
36[[/folder]]
37
38[[folder:Fan Works]]
39->''Dessert comes out and you snag a piece of layer cake but you're so stuffed that you have to surround it in cling wrap and hide it in the back of the refrigerator to take home later. If someone finds it and consumes it you'll have to commit genocide.''
40-->-- ''[[http://archiveofourown.org/works/768024?view_full_work=true Born of a Sign That Carries Vessels]]''
41
42->''Another man might ask what he'd done for God to punish him like this. [[SinisterMinister Kirei]] was fully aware of [[Literature/FateZero exactly what he'd done]] to earn God's ire. But surely this was excessive, even for divine retribution.''
43-->-- ''Fanfic/FateHaremAntics''
44
45->''Shinguji steps forward. “Shirogane-san and I discovered that there is a pool, though the water is rather shallow.”\
46“Hoshi-kun was also there,” Shirogane adds insistently. “And, uh, Monokuma also came by to tell us that swimming is banned during night time, and,” she wrings her hands, “if anyone tries to, an alarm will sound and the [[HumongousMecha Exisals]] will come after whoever broke the rule.”\
47Tojo’s visible eye widens. “That is a rather intense punishment for swimming after hours.”''
48-->--''Fanfic/IdTradeMyLifeForYours''
49
50->'''Eggnog''': eat my stick (''hits Piss with a stick'')\
51'''Piss''': eat my bench (''throws bench at Eggnog'')
52-->-- ''Fanfic/PreCureInANutshell''
53
54->''I let the police take me but I told her in a deep threating voice “you will regret betraying me” [[FamilyExtermination she didn’t know I was going to wipe out her entire gene pool]]. I met her friends before I was betrayed, so I broke out of prison, killed her friends first just to scare her, but she didn’t know it was me who killed her friends, until I told her, after telling her I tore out her throat, and I then destroyed the village, killing the rest of her family. I also killed her relatives in her family. [[UnderStatement By doing that I broke]] [[ThouShaltNotKill my promise to her]].''
55-->-- ''Fanfic/ChristianHumberReloaded'' "Revenge Against Soku's Family"
56[[/folder]]
57
58[[folder:Film -- Animated]]
59->''"Don't be nervous, kid... but if you keep staring at me like that, I'm gonna cut your eyes out."''
60-->-- '''Black Mask''' to a bodyguard, ''WesternAnimation/BatmanUnderTheRedHood''
61
62->'''Drew Flynn''': You're dead... We killed...\
63'''The Spectre, disguised as Foster Brenner''': Killed me? All because you got cut out of a job? That was worth my life?
64-->-- ''WesternAnimation/DCShowcaseTheSpectre''
65
66->''(Emperor Kuzco backs into old man)''\
67'''Emperor Kuzco:''' DOHHH! [[MusicalisInterruptus You threw off my groove]]!\
68'''Palace Guard:''' I'm sorry, but you've thrown off the Emperor's groove. ''(picks old man up by the collar)''\
69''(the old man is thrown off the mountain side)''\
70'''Old Man:''' [[DestinationDefenestration SOORRRrryyyyyyyyy!]]
71-->-- ''WesternAnimation/TheEmperorsNewGroove''
72
73->'''Elastigirl:''' But it doesn't bother you that an innocent man is in jail?\
74'''Screenslaver:''' Eh, he was surly. And the pizza was cold.
75-->-- ''WesternAnimation/Incredibles2''
76
77->''"My crew was chosen as carefully as the Disciples of Christ, and I will not tolerate stowaways. You will be flogged. And when we put in to Cuba to resupply, *God willing*, you will be flogged some more. And then enslaved on the sugar plantations for the rest of your miserable lives. To the brig!"''
78-->-- '''UsefulNotes/HernanCortez''', ''WesternAnimation/TheRoadToElDorado''
79
80->"''All bubble-blowing babies will be beaten senseless by every able-bodied patron in the bar.[[note]]...bar.[[/note]]"''
81-->-- '''All the thugs in the BadGuyBar''', ''WesternAnimation/TheSpongebobSquarepantsMovie''
82
83->''"Why on earth do you take'' '''''snack food''''' ''so seriously?!?"''
84-->-- '''Jonah''' as he's about to be executed for allegedly stealing bags of cheese curls, ''WesternAnimation/JonahAVeggieTalesMovie''
85[[/folder]]
86
87[[folder:Film -- Live-Action]]
88->''"Once upon a time in China, some believe around the year one double-aught three, the head priest of the White Lotus Clan, Pai Mei, was walking down the road, contemplating whatever it is that a man of Pai Mei's infinite power contemplates — which is another way of saying "who knows?" — when a Shaolin monk appeared, traveling in the opposite direction. As the monk and the priest crossed paths, Pai Mei, in a practically unfathomable display of generosity, gave the monk the slightest of nods. The nod was not returned. Now, was it the intention of the Shaolin monk to insult Pai Mei? Or did he just fail to see the generous social gesture? The motives of the monk remain unknown. What is known, are the consequences. The next morning Pai Mei appeared at the Shaolin Temple and demanded of the Temple's head abbot that he offer Pai Mei his neck to repay the insult. The Abbot at first tried to console Pai Mei, only to find Pai Mei was... [[ThisIsUnforgivable inconsolable]]. So began the massacre of the Shaolin Temple and all sixty of the monks inside at the fists of the White Lotus. And so began the legend of Pai Mei's Five Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique."''
89-->-- '''Bill''', ''Film/KillBill''
90
91->''"He pulls a knife, you pull a gun. He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue. That's the UsefulNotes/{{Chicago}} way!"''
92-->-- '''Jim Malone''', ''Film/TheUntouchables''
93
94->''"A worldwide financial meltdown, and all so [[spoiler:mad little Alec]] can settle a score with the world 50 years on."''
95-->-- '''Film/JamesBond''', ''Film/GoldenEye''
96
97->'''The Beast:''' Your father is a thief. [...] He stole a rose.\
98'''Belle:''' I asked for the rose. Punish me, not him!\
99'''Maurice:''' No! He means forever. Apparently, that's what happens around here when you pick a flower.\
100'''Belle:''' A life sentence for a rose?\
101'''The Beast:''' I received eternal damnation for one. I'm merely locking ''him'' away.
102-->-- ''Film/BeautyAndTheBeast2017''
103
104->''"You've been killing me over some stupid GUY?!"''
105-->-- '''Tree''', ''Film/HappyDeathDay''
106
107->''"You gotta be kidding me! DEATH for sleeping on roses? Geez! I'd hate to see what you guys do to literers!"''
108-->-- '''[[Franchise/TheMuppets Gonzo]]''', ''Film/MuppetClassicTheater''
109
110->'''Dr. Robotnik:''' I want you to know that the only other person who ever punched me in the face was the school bully. He hit me in the cafeteria, causing a blunt force contusion to the soft tissue surrounding my orbital bone. Humiliated me in front of the entire school, and you know what I did in response?\
111'''Tom:''' I'm assuming that you reported him to the principal's office because, you know, that kind of behavior is really unacceptable.\
112'''Dr. Robotnik:''' No. I examined the inefficiency of a world where brawn trumped brain, and I used technology to resolve that inefficiency. [[NoodleIncident The boy ate his meals through a straw for a year]], and I have never lost a fight again.
113-->-- ''Film/SonicTheHedgehog2020''
114
115->''"They bomb a church, we bomb 10. They hijack a plane, we take out an airport. They execute American tourists, we nuke an entire city. We make terrorism so horrific that it's unthinkable to attack Americans."''
116-->-- '''Gabriel''', ''Film/{{Swordfish}}''
117
118->'''Skinner:''' You see, as much as I enjoyed your wild theories, Sergeant, the truth is far less complex. Blower's fate was simply the result of his being... an ''appalling'' actor.\
119'''The NWA Members:''' ''(in unison)'' Appalling!\
120'''Angel:''' You murdered him for ''that''?!\
121'''Skinner:''' Well, he murdered Bill Shakespeare.
122-->-- ''Film/HotFuzz''
123
124->''"This sort of thing used to be civilized! You'd hit a guy, he'd whack ya, done! But with Benedict... at the end of this, ''he'd better not know you're involved.'' Not know your names, or think you're dead. Because he'll kill ya. And ''then'' he'll go to work on ya."''
125-->-- '''Reuben''', ''Film/OceansEleven''
126
127->''"This musn't register on an emotional level. First, distract target, then block his blind jab. Counter with cross to left cheek. Discombobulate. Dazed, he'll attempt wild haymaker. Employ elbow block and body shot. Block feral left. Weaken right jaw, now fracture. Break cracked ribs. Traumatize solar plexus. Dislocate jaw entirely. Heel kick to diaphragm. In summary: ears ringing, jaw fractured, three ribs cracked, four broken, diaphragm hemmoraghing. Physical recovery: six weeks. Full psychological recovery: six months. Capacity to spit at back of head: neutralized."''
128-->-- '''Sherlock Holmes''', ''Film/SherlockHolmes2009''
129
130->''"Anyone who even thinks about deserting this mission will be cut up into 198 pieces. Those pieces will be stamped on until what is left can be used only to paint walls. Whoever takes one grain of corn or one drop of water more than his ration, will be locked up for 155 years."''
131-->-- '''Don Lope de Aguirre''', ''Film/AguirreTheWrathOfGod''
132
133->''"My first day here, he beat me because I threw out the bones from dinner."''
134-->-- '''Helen Hirsch''' on '''Amon Goeth''', ''Film/SchindlersList''
135
136->'''Vincent Vega''': Foot massage? That's it? What did Marsellus do?\
137'''Jules Winnfield''': Sent a couple cats over to his place, they took him out on his patio, threw his ass over the balcony.
138-->-- ''Film/PulpFiction''
139
140->''"A husband being protective of his wife is one thing, a husband almost killing another man for touching his wife's feet is something else."''
141-->-- '''Mia Wallace''', ''Film/PulpFiction''
142
143->'''Stan''': Listen I'm only telling the truth. You have got a very big nose.\
144'''Mr. Big Nose''': Hey. Your nose is going to be three foot wide accross your face by the time I'm finished with you!
145-->-- ''Film/MontyPythonsLifeOfBrian''
146
147->''"Just a minute. Robin Hood steals money from my pocket, forcing me to hurt the public, and they love him for it? That's it, then. Cancel the kitchen scraps for lepers and orphans, no more merciful beheadings, [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking and call off Christmas]]!"''
148-->-- '''Sheriff of Nottingham''', ''Film/RobinHoodPrinceOfThieves''
149
150->''"If I hear so much as a mouse fart in here the rest of the night I swear by God and sonny Jesus you will all visit the infirmary! Every last motherfucker in here!"''
151-->-- '''Captain Byron Hadley''', ''Film/TheShawshankRedemption''
152
153->'''Andy Dufresne''': I'm done. Everything stops. Get someone else to run your scams.\
154'''Warden Samuel Norton''': Nothing stops. Nothing... or you will do the hardest time there is. No more protection from the guards. I'll pull you out of that one-bunk Hilton and cast you down with the Sodomites. You'll think you've been fucked by a train! And the library? Gone... sealed off, brick-by-brick. We'll have us a little book barbecue in the yard. They'll see the flames for miles. We'll dance around it like wild Injuns! You understand me? Catching my drift?... [[IronicEcho Or am I being obtuse]]? Give him another month to think about it.
155-->-- ''Film/TheShawshankRedemption''
156
157->'''Luigi Largo''': Someone's gonna hang if I don't get my coffee.\
158'''Luigi's Gopher''': Decaf?\
159'''Luigi''': I will shoot you in the face.
160-->-- ''Film/RepoTheGeneticOpera''
161
162->''"I used to know a girl; she had a dozen guys. One of them found out about it... beat her up so bad she ended up at a hospital on Guerrero Street."''
163-->-- '''Mark''', ''Film/TheRoom2003''
164
165->'''Tina''': Why don't we go to the park?\
166'''Scuz''': Oh we can't, the cops said they'd shoot us if we go back to the park.
167-->-- ''Film/TheReturnOfTheLivingDead''
168
169->''"Ah! Try as they will, and try as they might, he who steals me gold won't live through the night!"''
170-->-- '''Lubdan the Leprechaun''', ''Film/{{Leprechaun}}''
171
172->''"Have you seen a crock of gold lying around? Tell me or I'll bite your ear off, and I'll make a boot out of it!"''
173-->-- '''Lubdan the Leprechaun''', ''Film/{{Leprechaun}}''
174
175->''"You dog! Have you forgotten that anyone who speaks ill about the royal family gets his tongue cut off?"''
176-->-- '''Bijjalladeva''', ''Film/{{Baahubali}} 2: The Conclusion''
177
178->''"You ruined my new jacket! Kill him A LOT!"''
179-->-- '''Amilyn''', ''Film/BuffyTheVampireSlayer''
180
181->'''Waiter''': Would you like to hear today's specials?\
182'''Patrick Bateman''': Not if you want to keep your spleen.
183-->-- ''Film/AmericanPsycho''
184
185->'''Melanie Daniels''': Why did he shoot her?\
186'''Mitch Brenner''': He was watching a ball game on television.\
187'''Melanie''': What?\
188'''Mitch''': His wife changed the channel.
189-->-- ''Film/TheBirds''
190
191->''"I believe in America. America has made my fortune, and I raised my daughter in the American fashion. I gave her freedom, but I taught her never to dishonor her family. She found a boyfriend, not an Italian. She went to the movies with him. She stayed out late. I didn't protest. Two months ago, he took her for a drive with another boyfriend. They made her drink whiskey and then they tried to take advantage of her. She resisted. She kept her honor. [[WouldHitAGirl So they beat her like an animal]]. When I went to the hospital, her nose was broken. Her jaw was ''shattered'', held together by wire. She couldn't even weep because of the pain... But I wept. Why did I weep? She was the light of my life. A beautiful girl. Now she will never be beautiful again."''
192-->-- '''Amerigo Bonasera''' to '''Don Vito Corleone''', ''Film/TheGodfather''
193
194->'''Jim:''' "You destroyed their jet skis!"
195->'''Stifler:''' "They splashed us. ''So...''"
196-->-- ''Film/AmericanReunion
197[[/folder]]
198
199[[folder:Light Novels]]
200->''[Izumii's room is charred from a fire]''\
201'''Izumii:''' God, I wasn't smoking! I swear!\
202''[Izumii's father strikes him and leaves the room]''\
203'''Izumii's Father:''' Smartass punk.\
204''[Izumii sees Aoba smiling victoriously]''\
205'''Izumii:''' You're such a little shit. You trying to get back at me for smackin' you around?\
206'''Aoba:''' [[BlatantLies What are you talking about? I'm just glad you didn't get hurt.]]
207-->-- ''Literature/{{Durarara}} x2'', episode 22
208[[/folder]]
209
210[[folder:Literature]]
211->''[[TheMenInBlack The Laundry]] is infamous for its grotesque excesses in the name of accounting; budgetary infractions are punished like war crimes, and mere paperclips can bring down the wrath of dead alien gods on your head.''
212-->-- ''[[Literature/TheLaundryFiles The Concrete Jungle]]''
213
214->''I once saw my [[UsefulNotes/VladTheImpaler former master]] murder every single inhabitant of a small town in what is now northern Romania, and not just murder them. For three days, [[ColdBloodedTorture our army visited every torte you can imagine — and plenty that I hope you can't — on these poor people]]. We killed and trotted. We made the streets run with blood. We forced [[OffingTheOffspring parents to kill their children]], [[BrotherSisterIncest brothers to rape their sisters]], husbands to blind and maim their wives. When it was over, we burned the bodies and the buildings, and we salted the ground so nothing could ever grow there again. And do you know why we did it? Because as we rode through the town, the mayor's wife did not bow deeply enough as Prince Vlad passed her. For that one tiny unintentional insult, more than a hundred, men, women, and children died in agony. So I ask you this: [[OhCrap Can you even begin to imagine what Dracula will do as revenge for having lain dormant beneath the ground for more than a century?]]''
215-->-- '''Valeri Rusmanov''', ''Literature/{{Department 19}}''
216
217->''Blackmailing the instructor to change Squire's beginning position and meddle with the memory magic might have been a more expensive endeavor, had the man in question not been caught trying to escape the city and been crucified for his trouble. A rather mild reaction, by the standards of the BlackKnight. The last time he'd caught a noble meddling in College business, [[RevengeByProxy he'd had their entire family]] {{eaten alive}} [[SpidersAreScary by spiders]].''
218-->-- ''Literature/APracticalGuideToEvil''
219
220->''This eye for an eye business is horridly proportional. I assure you, if I'm losing an eye then so is everyone else.''
221-->-- '''Dread Empress Sanguinia II''', ''Literature/APracticalGuideToEvil''
222
223->"What, uh, what exactly have these people done to us? [[CorporateWarfare That we must burn their villages and slaughter all their water-buffaloes?]]"\
224"They raised the price of nutmeg by nine stuyvers. Unilaterally."\
225Pier nodded. He was no a good and salty sea dog, and knew what [[ThisIsUnforgivable a truly unforgivable crime]] this was in the eyes of the [[MegaCorp Trading Company]].
226-->-- ''With Musket And Ducat,'' by Tais Teng
227
228->"What did you do?" she asked.\
229The man looked around again before answering. "Did thieving," he said quickly. "Got caught trying to get an old painting of a garuda from some ancient cunt out in Chnum. Worth a fortune. [[HangingJudge Magister]] said since I was so impressed with garuda, I could -" his breath caught for a moment "-[[KarmicTransformation I could be one]]."\
230Isaac could see how the feathers of the face were shoved ruthlessly into the skin, [[{{Biomanipulation}} doubtless bonded subcutaneously]] to make removal too agonizing to consider. He imagined [[ColdBloodedTorture the process of insertion]], one by torturing one. When [[FantasticUnderclass the Remade]] turned slightly to Derkhan, Isaac could see the ugly knot of hardened flesh on his back where those wings, torn from some buzzard or vulture, had been sealed together with the human muscles. Nerve endings bonded randomly and uselessly, and the wings moved only with the spasms of a long-drawn-out death. Isaac's nose wrinkled at the stench. [[BodyHorror The wings were rotting slowly on the Remade's back.]]
231-->-- ''Literature/PerdidoStreetStation''
232
233->''...Terminate With Extreme Prejudice did not simply require that the victim was [[DeadlyEuphemism inhumed]], preferably in an extremely thorough way, but that his associates and employees were also intimately involved, along with business premises, the building, and a large part of the surrounding neighborhood, so that everyone involved would know that the man had been unwise enough to make the kind of enemies who could get very angry and indiscriminate.''
234-->-- ''Literature/{{Pyramids}}'', by '''Creator/TerryPratchett'''
235
236->''"A Tinker's debt is always paid:\
237Once for every simple trade\
238Twice for freely-given aid\
239[[BewareTheNiceOnes Thrice]] for any insult made."''
240-->-- '''Kvothe''', ''Literature/TheNameOfTheWind''
241
242->'''Quemot:''' Losing a chess game is [[DisappointedByTheMotive insufficient motive]] [for murder] surely, Plainclothesman.\
243'''Elijah Baley:''' It depends on [[SeriousBusiness how seriously]] you take your chess. Motives can seem all the world to the murderer and completely insignificant to everyone else.
244-->-- ''Literature/TheNakedSun''
245[[/folder]]
246
247[[folder:Live-Action TV]]
248->'''Michael:''' {{Let me get this straight}}. Derek, quote, "made mean eyes at you", so you went to Mindy's house and ''murdered him?''\
249'''Jason:''' Yeah dawg, but his eyes were ''really mean''.
250-->-- ''Series/TheGoodPlace'', "A Girl From Arizona"
251
252->''"Joey ate my last stick of gum, so I ''killed him''. Do you think that was wrong?"''
253-->-- '''Chandler''', ''Series/{{Friends}}''
254
255->'''[[TheCaligula Joffrey]]:''' ''Traitors!'' I'll have all their heads!\
256'''Tyrion:''' Oh, you blind bloody fool!\
257'''Joffrey:''' You can't insult me!\
258'''Tyrion:''' We've had vicious kings and we've had idiot kings, but I don't know if we've ever been cursed with [[BreadEggsBreadedEggs a vicious idiot for a king!]]\
259'''Joffrey:''' You can't-\
260'''Tyron:''' I can and I am!\
261'''Joffrey:''' [[NeverMyFault They attacked me!!]]\
262'''Tyrion:''' [[DungFu They threw a cowpie at you]] and you decided to kill them all! They're ''starving,'' {{you fool}}! All because of a war ''you'' started!
263-->-- ''Series/GameOfThrones''
264
265->'''Frank:''' I grifted your asses good, because you said I was slipping!\
266'''Dee:''' You made me dig up my dead mother ''because I said you were losing it?''
267-->-- ''Series/ItsAlwaysSunnyInPhiladelphia'', "Charlie's Mom Has Cancer"
268
269->''"Josh, we're talking about Megan! I mean, this is the little girl who [[VehicularSabotage cut the brakelines on your bike]] because you scratched her yo-yo. Now you think she's gonna let us off the hook after we killed her rare Cuban hamster?!"''
270-->-- '''Drake Parker''', ''Series/DrakeAndJosh'', "Megan's Revenge"
271
272->''"So… because I didn't know what time it was, you ruined my chance to do something amazing that could've changed my whole life?!"''
273-->-- '''Freddie Benson''', ''Series/ICarly'', "iCan't Take It"
274
275->'''Gloria:''' You cost me my job! Now I can't pay my bills!\
276'''Arthur:''' And you hurt my feelings. So we're even!
277-->-- ''Series/TheKingOfQueens''
278
279->''"I am going to create an environment so toxic no one will want to be part of that club. Like the time I sold my house to a nice young couple and salted the earth in the backyard so that nothing could grow there for 100 years. Know why I did that? Because they tried to get me to pay their closing costs."''
280-->-- '''Sue Sylvester''', ''Series/{{Glee}}''
281
282->'''Phillip Price:''' You got your U.N. vote, you got your plant, you got everything you wanted! No. You don't get off that easy, not until you explain it to me. You had to destroy so much. Why?\
283'''Whiterose:''' Because Phillip, I had to ask you twice.
284-->-- ''Series/MrRobot'', referring to [[spoiler:Whiterose destroying 71 E Corp buildings and killing thousands of innocent people]].
285
286->'''Janitor:''' You know, I know you knocked that exit sign down.\
287'''J.D.:''' Well then I'm sure I can expect an appropriate retaliatory response. Maybe you could shoot me in the neck.
288-->-- ''Series/{{Scrubs}}'', "My Old Friend's New Friend"
289
290->''"Who the hell put bouillon cubes in the showerhead?! Hmm?! Did you do it? Did you? If it happens again... I will wait in my SUV; blast me some speed metal, 5.1 surround sound, heavy on the bass... And someone. Will be getting. Mowed. Down."''
291-->-- '''[[AxCrazy Hooch]]''', ''Series/{{Scrubs}}'', "My Changing Ways"
292
293->'''Krieg''': You've killed my men, destroyed my fleet. Why are you after me?\
294'''Mihawk''': You woke me from my nap.
295-->-- ''Series/OnePiece2023''
296
297->''"The disproportional response! Let the word ring forth, from this time and this place, gentlemen, you kill an American, any American, we don't come back with a proportional response. We come back with total disaster!"''
298-->-- '''President Jed Bartlet''', ''Series/TheWestWing''
299
300->''"One more mistake, and [Amy's] gonna take my arm off like a puma."''
301-->-- '''Robert Barone''', ''Series/EverybodyLovesRaymond'', "The Plan"
302[[/folder]]
303
304[[folder:Music]]
305->''"Don't you go messing with me emotionally,\
306Or else I will make you bleed internally."''
307-->-- '''Music/GGAllin''', "Automatic"
308
309->They called [[Music/JohnLennon him]] a hero\
310In the land of the free\
311But he wouldn't shake my hand\
312Boy, he disappointed me\
313So I got my handgun\
314And I blew him away\
315That critter was a bad guy\
316I had to make him pay
317-->-- ''Music/{{Queen}}'', "Put Out the Fire"
318
319-> You blocked me on Website/{{Facebook}} \
320And now you're going to die!
321-->-- '''Music/KnifeParty''', "Internet Friends"
322
323->''I dug my key into the side''\
324''Of his pretty little souped-up 4 wheel drive''\
325''Carved my name into his leather seats''\
326''I took a Louisville Slugger to both headlights''\
327''Slashed a hole in all four tires''\
328''Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats.''
329-->-- '''Music/CarrieUnderwood''', ''Before He Cheats''
330[[/folder]]
331
332[[folder:Religion and Mythology]]
333->''I have killed a man for wounding me,''\
334''a young man for striking me.''\
335''If Cain’s revenge is sevenfold,''\
336''then Lamech’s is seventy-sevenfold.''
337-->-- '''Lamech''', ''Literature/TheBible (English Standard Version)'', [[Literature/BookOfGenesis Genesis 4:23-24]]
338
339->''"Men do not despise a thief if he steals to satisfy his hunger when he is starving. Yet if he is caught, he must pay sevenfold, though it costs him all the wealth of his house."''
340-->-- ''Literature/TheBible (New International Version)'', [[Literature/BookOfProverbs Proverbs 6:30-31]]
341[[/folder]]
342
343[[folder:Tabletop Games]]
344->''One bone broken for every twig snapped under foot.''[[note]]Unless they have some way of quantifying just how many twigs got snapped by a trespasser in a forest, this "penalty" is practically ''always'' going to manifest as an [[ThereIsNoKillLikeOverkill overkill-tastic]] NoHoldsBarredBeatdown.[[/note]]
345-->-- "Llanowar Penalty for Trespassing", FlavorText of [[http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=393970 "Llanowar Elves",]] ''TabletopGame/MagicTheGathering''
346
347->''"Barbarians! They burned my favourite chair! We'll kill them all!"''
348-->-- '''Anje Falkenrath''', FlavorText of [[http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Aggravate "Aggravate"]], ''TabletopGame/MagicTheGathering''
349
350->[[HumanoidAbomination Tzimisce domitors]] also use the threat of further [[BodyHorror bodily modification]] as a deterrent, ensuring that ghouls behave properly and obey all commands without question. More than one ghoul has had her legs amputated after a mere utterance of the word "but."
351-->-- ''TabletopGame/VampireTheMasquerade - Ghouls: Fatal Addiction''
352
353->The doors of the [[WizardingSchool Amethyst College]] are always slightly ajar, yet few thieves are bold enough to enter the gloomy portals. There is a tale of one who did: Cassio the Tilean stole forty silver shillings and a brooch from the Amethyst College twenty years ago. He spent the money but was unable to find anyone who would buy the brooch. [[TraumaCongaLine Soon afterwards, his wife died in a household accident that left him blind; he then contracted a loathsome wasting disease. Cast out by his remaining family, he became a degenerate beggar.]] All those who gave him money out of pity [[WindsOfDestinyChange found that they had bad luck afterwards]], and soon stopped helping him. Eventually, he came to the conclusion that the brooch was cursed and tried to return it to the Amethyst College: he spent years crawling through the streets of Altdorf trying to find his way back to the place he had robbed; his pitiful cries for direction became well-known in the city. [[ShaggyDogStory He never made it: years later, in a pogrom against Chaos, his abhorrent form was mistaken for a mutant, and he was stabbed and thrown in the Talabec to drown.]] He has not been seen since, but some who tell the story say that he could not die and [[FateWorseThanDeath still ekes out a miserable existence]] somewhere in the wild land outside the city. Nobody has tried to steal from the Amethyst College since; anyone mentioning the idea will be warned of Cassio's fate.
354-->-- ''TabletopGame/WarhammerFantasyRoleplay: Realms Of Sorcery (1st ed)''
355
356->Crossing water by boat or bridge does not bother Vampires, but most Undead [[CannotCrossRunningWater may be destroyed by complete immersion in running water]]. As is usual, there are some exceptions to the rule, as Father Schmirgeln discovered when he broke the ice of the frozen Urskoy river as Count von Sangster crossed it, only to have the Vampire walk out dripping wet and dismember Schmirgeln for [[WardrobeWound daring to dampen the Vampire’s evening wear]].
357-->-- '''Maximilian Sommers,''' ''TabletopGame/WarhammerFantasyRoleplay: Night's Dark Masters - A Guide To Vampires''
358
359->To cross the Black Descent is to invite a punishment [[PoeticSerialKiller darkly twisted to fit the crime]]. One who uses brute force against them may later find himself stung by an insect-sized Wrack, the hyperdrenaline introduced into his bloodstream forcing him into a frenzy so severe he literally tears himself apart. One who delays payment for the Black Descent’s poisons may awake one morning trapped in a Sslyth venom-nest. Even unintended offense can yield retribution: when an ambassador from the Kabal of the Baleful Gaze wrinkled his nose at the stench of the [[TortureCellar Coven’s dungeons]], he soon found himself coughing on transmutative gas. Later that night he sprouted the quivering nostrils of an Ur-Ghul, [[EyelessFace his eyes sealing over]] so he could better appreciate the fine bouquet of rot.
360-->--''TabletopGame/Warhammer40000: Haemonculus Covens''
361
362->''In the sub-equatorial deserts of Kleizen Onjere, the planet's millennia-old soil conditioning has decayed beyond the inhabitants' ability to restore it. The water table has sunk too low and the earth has broken back down to abrasive orange gravel. At the long day's peak, the desert sweats out pockets of subsurface air, loaded with chemical compounds that sting the eyes and bring rashes to the skin, while bacteria inflame any cut or abrasion. The only refuges are the chains of steep-sided mesas that stand high enough to be clear of the sand-vapour until it cools and sinks away again in the dusk.''\
363''The Adeptus arbiters, whose polar training compounds and orbital docks make Kleizen Onjere a nexus point for fleet movements across three sectors, also keep watchtowers across the mesa chains. Moving between them are the convicts, disgraced and sentenced officers of the Adeptus, trekking across the sand barefoot and in coarse prisoners' clothes. They each pull behind them a metal frame that supports a banner-pole, from which hang parchment lists of the convicts' crimes, the dates and particulars of their convictions, the seal of the judge who passed sentence, and the stamps of the chasteners who mete out penal labours or floggings as their particular punishment demands.''\
364''The crimes that brought this sentence were light ones, all things considered. Low-level incompetence in their duties, perhaps, or a speech that a judge had ruled might lead to sedition. It could be impiety, laziness, freethinking, or any of the myriad ways of putting the Emperor behind their personal welfare that the penal codes sum up as "thoughts of self."''\
365
366->''Whatever the crime, their convictions were judged not to outweigh their ranks, or whatever commendations, ordinations or charters of merit their service might have earned. If there was any question of those weights being equal, the dusty, gasping figure in front of its carriage would be marching into the maw of battle in a Penal Legion uniform, or lying in a red pool in front of an Arbites firing squad. No, the men in the desert were petty criminals.''
367-->-- ''TabletopGame/{{Warhammer 40000}}''
368[[/folder]]
369
370[[folder:Theatre]]
371->''"A sailor's wife had chestnuts in her lap,''\
372''And munch'd, and munch'd, and munch'd:—''\
373''[='=]Give me,' quoth I:''\
374''[='=]Aroint thee, witch!' the rump-fed ronyon cries.''\
375''Her husband's to Aleppo gone, master o' the Tiger:''\
376''But in a sieve I'll thither sail,''\
377''And, like a rat without a tail,''\
378''I'll do, I'll do, and I'll do. ... ''\
379''I' the shipman's card.''\
380''I will drain him dry as hay:''\
381''Sleep shall neither night nor day''\
382''Hang upon his pent-house lid;''\
383''He shall live a man forbid:''\
384''Weary se'nnights nine times nine''\
385''Shall he dwindle, peak and pine:''\
386''Though his bark cannot be lost,''\
387''Yet it shall be tempest-tost."''
388-->-- '''First Witch''', ''Theatre/{{Macbeth}}'', Act I, Scene III
389
390->''So to restore my repute\
391As a fierce, fearsome brute\
392There's only one route I see!\
393Arrange the slaughter of millions\
394Of innocent civilians\
395Then they'll remember me!''
396-->-- '''Prince Achmed''', ''Theatre/TwistedTheUntoldStoryOfARoyalVizier''
397
398->You know how people have these little habits that get you down? Like... Bernie. Bernie like to chew gum.\
399No, not chew. '''POP.'''\
400So I came home this one day and I'm [[HairTriggerTemper really irritated]], and I'm looking for a bit of sympathy, and there's Bernie layin' on the couch, drinkin' a beer and chewin'.\
401No, not chewin'. '''[[InsistentTerminology Poppin]]''''.\
402So, I said to him, I said, "you '''pop''' that gum one more time..."\
403And he did.\
404So I took the shotgun off the wall and I fired two warning shots...\
405...into his '''[[BoomHeadshot HEAD]]'''.
406-->-- '''[[VillainSong The Cell Block Tango]]''', ''Theatre/{{Chicago}}''
407[[/folder]]
408
409[[folder:Video Games]]
410->''"Hey, kids! Did you know that littering in Opportunity is punishable by death? And in case you didn't know, complaining about Opportunity's laws is considered 'verbal littering'!"''
411-->-- '''Handsome Jack''', ''VideoGame/{{Borderlands 2}}''
412
413->''"You DARE bring light into MY LAIR?! YOU MUST DIE!!!"''
414-->-- '''Ganon''', ''VideoGame/TheLegendOfZeldaCDIGames''
415
416->''"The slightest scratch must be answered with an ocean of blood..."''
417-->-- '''Camilla''', ''VideoGame/FireEmblemWarriors''
418
419->''"Not long ago a man in my same class died of mysterious causes. He supposedly witnessed Blutwurst's unmasked face and was laughing about [[BoomerangBigot his Felineko heritage]] behind his back..."''
420-->-- '''Berman Army soldier''', ''VideoGame/FugaMelodiesOfSteel''
421
422->''"That was the last time you interrupted me while talking to someone." [shoves handle of wooden spoon [[EyeScream through drunkard's eye]]]''[[note]]This is during a cutscene where Gaunter froze time.[[/note]]
423-->-- '''[[SatanicArchetype Gaunter O'Dimm]]''', ''VideoGame/TheWitcher3WildHunt''
424
425->'''Brotherhood bar patron''': [[note]]The PlayerCharacter is watching a news report on Johnny Gat's trial[[/note]] Hey, [[TheBartender Barry]], turn this shit off!\
426'''PlayerCharacter''': I was watching that!\
427'''Brotherhood bar patron''': I guess you're not anymore, are ya, [[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch bitch]]!\
428'''PlayerCharacter''': ''[grabs a bottle and [[GrievousBottleyHarm hits him with it, breaking it]]]'' [[DissonantSerenity Could you turn the TV back on]]?
429-->-- ''VideoGame/SaintsRow2''
430
431->''"This is Onishima! I'm sending in the tanks! I don't care what happens, just get those punks!"''
432-->-- '''Captain Onishima''' in response to juveniles making graffiti and evading arrest, ''VideoGame/JetSetRadio''
433
434->''"You knifed nearly thirty guys over a spilled drink?! You're a threat to society!"''
435-->-- '''Luso Clemens''', ''VideoGame/FinalFantasyTacticsA2''
436
437->'''Hawke:''' Knight-Commander Meredith does tend to add one and one and get eleven, doesn't she.\
438'''Orsino:''' Sometimes a hundred and eleven.
439-->-- ''VideoGame/DragonAgeII''
440
441->"Are you gonna sign this or will it be your surviving family members?"
442->"Sign this petition or I’ll follow you home and kill your dog!"
443-->-- '''The Postal Dude''' asking someone a third time to sign his petition, ''VideoGame/Postal2''
444
445->"It is extremely important to know how to correctly spell his name, as some members of the [[{{Yakuza}} Tojo Clan]] were reportedly beaten within an inch of their lives after misspelling his name in a Christmas card."
446-->-- ''VideoGame/YakuzaLikeADragon'''s Underworld Studies Vocational Exam on Goro Majima
447[[/folder]]
448
449[[folder:Visual Novels]]
450->"'Forsooth Elisha went up from thence into Bethel; and when he went up by the way, little children went out of the city, and scorned him, and said, Go up, thou bald one! go up, thou bald one! And when he had beheld, he saw them, and cursed them in the name of the Lord. And two bears went out of the forest, and rent two and forty children of them. Soothly Elisha went from thence into the hill of Carmel, and from thence he turned again to Samaria.'\
451Forty-two children, torn apart by angry bears at the behest of Elisha! That's rather extreme, isn't it? It's funny; when I was locked in this cell the first time around, I never thought much of this part of the story. But it really is awful to think about, isn't it? Could you imagine being ripped to shreds by a wild beast just for calling a man bald?"
452-->--'''Hedwig''' discusses the biblical tale of Elisha, ''VisualNovel/{{Misericorde}}''
453[[/folder]]
454
455[[folder:Web Original]]
456->''"I guess it's time to nuke Washington DC and NYC..."''
457-->-- '''[=Jxl5465=]''' on the [[http://fav.me/d512pt4 S6779-2011 Bill]][[note]]Said bill was created to ''stop anonymous internet posting'', by the way...[[/note]]
458
459->What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my words. You think you can get away with saying shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
460-->-- ''Internet copypasta''
461
462->I don’t give a fuck who you are or where you live. You can count on me to be there to bring your fucking life to a hellish end. I’ll put you in so much fucking pain that it’ll make Jesus being nailed to a cross in the desert look like a fucking back massage on a tropical island. I don’t give a fuck how many reps you have or how tough you are IRL, how well you can fight, or how many fucking guns you own to protect yourself. I’ll fucking show up at your house when you aren’t home. I’ll turn all the lights on in your house, leave all the water running, open your fridge door and not close it, and turn your gas stove burners on and let them waste gas. [[{{Gaslighting}} You’re going to start stressing the fuck out]], your blood pressure will triple, and you’ll have a fucking heart attack. You’ll go to the hospital for a heart operation, and the last thing you’ll see when you’re being put under in the operating room is me hovering above you, dressed like a doctor. When you wake up after being operated on, wondering what ticking time bomb is in your chest waiting to go off. You’ll recover fully from your heart surgery. And when you walk out the front door of the hospital to go home I’ll run you over with my fucking car out of no where and kill you. I just want you to know how easily I could fucking destroy your pathetic excuse of a life, but how I’d rather go to a great fuckng length to make sure your last remaining days are spent in a living, breathing fucking hell. It’s too late to save yourself, but don’t bother committing suicide either… I’ll fucking resuscitate you and kill you again myself you bitch-faced phaggot. Welcome to hell, population: you.
463-->-- ''Another internet copypasta''
464[[/folder]]
465
466[[folder:Web Video]]
467->"[[HateDumb He's a nerd who loves something so much, that when it didn't live up to his expectations, he declared war on it!]]"
468-->-- '''WebVideo/HonestTrailers''', on [[BigBad Syndrome]] in ''WesternAnimation/TheIncredibles''
469
470->''"I sure hope all you kids have been good this year, because [[BadSanta Santa's just got his new magnum, and he's not givin' out coal this year.]]"''
471-->-- '''''LetsPlay/MrGibbs''''', "Santa Claus Hide and Seek"
472
473->''"Why is [[WesternAnimation/SleepingBeauty Maleficent]] mad? [[RevengeSVP She got snubbed an invite to a baby shower.]]"''
474-->-- '''WebVideo/TheNostalgiaChick'''
475
476->''[Rubber Soul Kakyoin is ordering some coconut juice.]''\
477'''Kakyoin''': Coconut juice plea-\
478''[=[=][[Manga/ArakawaUnderTheBridge Hoshi]] sneaks behind him and steals his wallet.]''\
479'''Hoshi''': Woohoo!\
480''[Kakyoin looks upset.]''\
481'''Hoshi''': Hahaha! Got ur wallet! Weehooo~\
482'''Jotaro''': Hey, wait up, man.\
483''[Jotaro steals the wallet back and hands it back to Kakyoin]''\
484'''Jotaro''': Hey, Kakyoin. I got your wallet back!\
485'''Kakyoin''': Thank you, but my fury won't be quelled by just tha... GUHUU!\
486''[Kakyoin gives Hoshi a coconut backbreaker, which causes Hoshi to vomit up blood.]''\
487'''Hoshi''': Guhgeh, it's the coconut backbreaker!\
488'''Jotaro''': Cut it out, Kakyoin. He's vomiting up blood.\
489''[Kakyoin continues the backbreaker.]''\
490'''Hoshi''': Uwahhhh!\
491'''Jotaro''': I told you to cut it out.
492-->-- ''WebVideo/VaguelyRecallingJoJo''
493
494->''"Pray that there's a [[SeriousBusiness Taco Bell]] in Hell!" [BANG]''
495-->-- '''Souichiro Yagami''' when family fights go wrong, ''[[WebVideo/DeathNoteTheAbridgedSeriesTeamDattebayo Death Note: The Abridged Series (Team Dattebayo)]]''
496
497->'''Maria:''' Hey Shadow. ''[traps Shadow in a capsule]'' Bye Shadow. I'm gonna kill you now.\
498'''Shadow:''' No! I-I promise I didn't fart! You don't need to contain it!\
499'''Maria:''' It smells so bad.\
500'''Shadow:''' That's just you!\
501'''Maria:''' It smells like garbage...covered in fire.\
502'''Shadow:''' But Maria, you smelt it! Therefore, you are the one who dealt it! You absolute thot!
503-->-- ''WebVideo/RealTimeFandub'' of ''VideoGame/SonicAdventure2''
504
505->''"You see, I had to trap [[Franchise/SonicTheHedgehog Sonic]] in the hell-dimension 'cause he disrespected gamers."''
506-->-- '''Mephiles (known as Memphis Tennessee in the dub)''', ''Webvideo/RealTimeFandub'' of ''Videogame/SonicTheHedgehog2006''
507
508->'''Janeway:''' You have to be extra strict to enforce discipline on a starship.\
509'''Paris:''' ''Strict?!'' You didn't even confine Suder to solitary confinement!\
510'''Janeway:''' Well, of course. All he did was murder a man for no reason. But ''you'', you '''defied''' me. You're lucky I don't have you flayed!
511-->-- ''WebVideo/SFDebris'', "Thirty Days"
512
513->'''Engineer:''' That's right! It was me!\
514'''Spy:''' YouMonster!\
515'''Heavy:''' But ''whyyyyyy?!''\
516'''Engineer:''' [[YouAreFat 'Coz you're FAT, boi!]] And another thing, you're ugly.
517-->-- ''WebAnimation/HeavyIsDead''
518
519->'''Tommy:''' Why did you kill me?! Why- You could've just ''told me'' [the necromancy book] was real! Why did you kill me?!\
520'''Dream:''' You didn't believe me! I was proving a point!\
521''[{{Beat}}]''\
522'''Tommy''' ''[high-pitched, horrified]'' You killed me just to ''prove a point?!'' Dre- Dream! You put me through that-\
523'''Dream:''' You didn't believe me!\
524'''Tommy:''' ''[voice cracking]'' YOU PUT ME THROUGH MONTHS, ''MONTHS'', OF ''AGONY'', AND ''STRESS'' AND PURE ''TRAUMA'', JUST TO ''PROVE A POINT?!'' [...] You could've just showed me! You could've just– This is ''so'' evil. This is– This is– This isn't like before! This isn't "You've blown up our town", you've put me through ''torture!'' Through pain! To PROVE A ''POINT'', DREAM! THAT'S– THAT'S ''FUCKED!'' You CAN'T do that to me! To ANY– You–\
525'''Dream:''' Why? Why can't I, Tommy? You didn't believe me! You were calling me a liar! How else was I supposed to prove it?\
526'''Tommy:''' You killed me–\
527'''Dream:''' It's not that big of a deal, it's not–\
528'''Tommy:''' YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT I'VE– Dream, you will NEVER understand it, your simple ''fucking'' stupid green brain, you will NEVER understand what I've just been through, Dream! You killed me now just to prove a point, you sent me back to ''Wilbur'', to ''Schlatt'', all the people you know– you ''know'' are my enemies! And you put me in there for ''months!'' You send me through the torture– I was ''ripped apart'', Dream! Can you– Can you even ''imagine'' what that's like?! No, you can't, 'cause you're fuckin' ''soft'', Dream, you're ''soft'', alright?! You put on all of this, but you're ''nothing'', Dream, you ''don't know what it's like'', alright? You're– You're not just evil now, you are fucking ''demented'', fuck you, FUCK YOU, man!
529-->-- ''WebVideo/DreamSMP''
530
531->''And every time he settles down, every time he makes any planet his home, the fleet emerges. We burn down his home and his family over, and over, and over again for the rest of his life. Anywhere he ever tries to settle, we burn it to the ground. That's gonna be his punishment for... I can't remember what he did wrong, I think he just annoys me slightly.''
532-->-- ''LetsPlay/ManyATrueNerd'', ''Let's play VideoGame/KnightsOfTheOldRepublic''
533
534->''Hey, Kaiba. You took my Grandfather's card, so I took your bodyguard's kidneys. I believe that's a fair trade."
535-->--'''Yami Yugi,''' WebVideo/YuGiOhTheAbridgedSeries, "[[Anime/YuGiOhFirstAnimeSeries Season Zero]] Abridged #2"
536[[/folder]]
537
538[[folder:Webcomics]]
539->''"You mess with [[MustHaveCaffeine my coffee]], I mess with your internal organs..."''
540-->-- '''Brad''', ''Webcomic/TheClassMenagerie''
541
542->''"If it's in self-defense, is it okay to shave someone's head, strip them naked, crush their pride, make them lose all of their friends, and destroy the school they go to?"''
543-->-- '''Mob''', ''Webcomic/MobPsycho100''
544
545->''"Grrrr... You think you can preach at me? [[OverpopulationCrisis If the population is not reduced, it will instigate total global disaster!!!]] So I ''must'' succeed in [[OmnicidalManiac my plans!]] I am '''not''' irrelevant, and I will not be dissuaded... Any who try to stop me [[AndYourLittleDogToo will pay the most terrible price]] - the loss of ''everything'' [[CartwrightCurse they cherish!!!!]]"''
546-->-- '''[[EcoTerrorist Malthus]]''' in the throes of a VillainousBreakdown as his latest attempt [[TargetedToHurtTheHero on the life of his arch-enemy's sister]] is being thwarted during the "[[http://comments.deviantart.com/1/353961403/3425491273 Library work]]" roleplay of ''WebComic/WhiteDarkLife''
547
548->''"But who cares about equal, anyway? If I hurt you worse than you hurt me, '''good'''. That means I win."''
549-->-- '''Hilgya Firehelm''', ''Webcomic/TheOrderOfTheStick'', [[http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots1150.html #1150]]
550
551->''"The Linear Guild is practically synonymous with taking disproportionate revenge over quasi-imagined slights."''
552-->-- '''Nale''', ''WebComic/TheOrderOfTheStick''
553
554->'''Riku:''' Hey Axel, we've got a— \
555'''Axel:''' Riku, if you say "problem" and end my date, I will murder you in your sleep. I will slaughter your family to make sure your genes are never passed on. Once you're dead, [[BlackComedy I'll poison your corpse and force feed the poisoned meat to orphans]]. [[AndYourLittleDogToo And just for the hell of it, I'm gonna kill your best friend.]] \
556'''Riku:''' Hey Sora, you might want to watch out for— \
557'''Sora:''' The hell I'm your friend! I ain't dying with you, [[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch bitch!]]
558-->-- ''Webcomic/AnsemRetort''
559
560->'''Namine:''' So what do you promise not to do?\
561'''Axel/Zexion:''' We promise not to hijack and/or crash the plane.\
562'''Aerith:''' ...I promise not to attack the pilot if the movie is ''Literature/TheDevilWearsPrada''.\
563'''Axel:''' I don't know why you regret that. That was the best honeymoon ever.
564-->-- ''Webcomic/AnsemRetort''
565
566->At that point he would weight all the facts and details carefully, and come up with an appropriately disproportionate response.
567-->-- ''Webcomic/{{Erfworld}}''
568
569->''"[[http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0640.html Every living creature that directly shares your bloodline is dead.]] Every living creature that is directly related to any of ''those'' creatures is also dead. [[RevengeByProxy Anyone who could possibly make a claim to be part of your family is gone now...]] This — and no less — is the price of threatening ''my'' family. [[FingerPokeOfDoom Disintegrate.]]"''
570-->-- '''Vaarsuvius''', ''Webcomic/TheOrderOfTheStick''
571
572->''"About a hundred years ago, [[FunnyAnimal we Racconans]] first encountered [[HordeOfAlienLocusts the Kvrk-chk]]. At first they regarded us [[ScaryDogmaticAliens the way they regard all other species]]: as nothing more than [[ImAHumanitarian talking food animals]]. We warned them by subspace broadcast that there would be [[BewareTheNiceOnes dire consequences]] if they attempted to act on this racist belief. [[TemptingFate They didn't listen.]]''\
573''"Shortly thereafter [[KickTheDog they seized a Racconan colony ship, killed and ate the passengers and crew,]] and [[ForcedToWatch broadcast footage of the...]] meal... [[MuggingTheMonster promising the same fate for all our "arrogant animal race".]]''\
574''"The next day, we [[ApocalypseHow incinerated one of their most heavily populated solar systems]] with a [[WaveMotionGun stellar lance]]. '''[[TheDreaded They listen to us now.]]'''"''
575-->--'''Commander Quinn''', ''Webcomic/QuentynQuinnSpaceRanger''
576
577->''"Revenge is a dish best served with an extra helping."''
578-->-- '''[[ColonelKilgore Captain Young]]''', ''Webcomic/TroopsOfDoom''
579
580->'''Car Salesman''': Well Captain Rich, we don't have any model 5 for Tesla but we do have a new model 3.\
581'''[[UpperClassTwit Captain Rich]]''': How dare you insult my ears with that common filth. [[TheJeeves Hampton]], kill him.
582-->-- ''Webcomic/FlorkOfCows'', [[https://www.reddit.com/r/FlorkofCowsOfficial/comments/bxirbe/tesla/ Tesla]]
583[[/folder]]
584
585[[folder:Western Animation]]
586->''"Electric chair!"''
587-->-- '''Warden Tiny Smalls''', whenever someone ([[BadBoss even his guards]]) laughs at [[UnfortunateName his name]], ''WesternAnimation/{{Brickleberry}}''
588
589->''"WAGH!!! Oh, you think it's funny to scramble our DNA? This will be ''nothing'' compared to what YOU will suffer when we catch you! Your atoms will go nuclear, your souls WILL IMPLODE!"''
590-->-- '''Parka Denizen 3''', ''WesternAnimation/InfinityTrain'', "[[Recap/InfinityTrainS4E2TheIcebergCar The Iceberg Car]]"
591
592->'''Rigby:''' WHAT?! You turned me into a house and killed all my friends just to throw eggs at me?! That's IT??!\
593'''Wizard:''' Yep, that's it.
594-->-- ''WesternAnimation/RegularShow''
595
596->'''Mr. Mackey:''' Mrs. Cartman, we have had it with your son's behavior, [[VerbalTic m'kay?]] Little Billy Turner is now being treated at the hospital!\
597'''Liane Cartman:''' Eric, why would you do such a thing?\
598'''Eric Cartman:''' ''[insincere]'' I'm sorry I handcuffed Billy Turner's ankle to the school flagpole.\
599'''Mr. Mackey:''' You know that's not the point.\
600'''Eric Cartman:''' ''[rolls eyes]'' Okay, [[OrderedApology I'm sorry]] I handcuffed Billy Turner's ankle to a flagpole [[Franchise/{{Saw}} and then gave him a hacksaw, and then told him I had poisoned his lunch milk and that the only way he could get to the antidote in time would be to saw through his leg.]]\
601'''Liane Cartman:''' [[{{Understatement}} Eric, that was very naughty.]]\
602'''Eric Cartman:''' Well, he called me chubby!
603-->-- ''WesternAnimation/SouthPark''
604
605->''"You hear me, Kyle? Compare me to ''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy'' again, [[TakeThat and so help me, I will]] ''[[TakeThat kill]]'' [[TakeThat you where you stand]]."''
606-->-- '''Eric Cartman''', ''WesternAnimation/SouthPark''
607
608->''"You scratch my paint, I scratch yours."''
609-->-- '''Knock Out''' to a street racer that he just ran off the road for scratching his paint job, ''WesternAnimation/TransformersPrime''
610
611->''"Oh come on! You're going to kill me because I had fake sex [[TabletopGames on graph paper]] with a girl who barely spoke to you in real life??"''
612-->-- '''Dr. Venture''', ''WesternAnimation/TheVentureBrothers''
613
614->'''Taskmaster Myles Grint:''' Your identification, now.\
615'''Yoffar:''' I'm just trying to sell a couple jogans, here.\
616'''Commandant Cumberlayne Aresko:''' All trade must be registered with the Empire.\
617'''Yoffar:''' I remember what it was like before your ships showed up, before you Imperials ruined Lothal, like the rest of the galaxy.\
618'''Aresko:''' This is LRC-01. I'm bringing in a citizen under a charge of treason.
619-->-- ''WesternAnimation/StarWarsRebels'', ''[[Recap/StarWarsRebelsSparkOfRebellion Spark of Rebellion]]''
620
621->''"There he goes, overreacting again!"''
622-->-- '''Gosalyn Mallard''', ''WesternAnimation/DarkwingDuck'', "[[Recap/DarkwingDuckS1E50TimeAndPunishment Time and Punishment]]" (reacting to Darkwarrior Duck launching a missile at her and Launchpad for defacing a statue of him)
623
624->''"You know, Mayor, of all the scum I've taken down, it was your wife who disappointed me the most. [[ExpressLaneLimit Eleven items at a ten-item checkout.]] She had it coming."''
625-->-- '''The Joker (as a crime fighter)''', ''WesternAnimation/TheBatman''
626
627->''"I tickle you, you hit me in the face with a frying pan?!"''
628-->-- '''Peter Griffin''', ''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy''
629
630->''"Hey, guys. So I'm in my own trunk. Uh… I think I'm gonna get murdered."''
631-->-- '''Peter Griffin''', ''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy'', after a man gets him kicked out of a convention then kidnaps him for insulting his ponytail
632
633->''"They built a mini-mall, so we built a bigger mini-mall. They made the world's largest pizza, so we burned down their City Hall."''
634-->-- '''Lisa Simpson''', ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons'', "Homer Loves Flanders", on the Springfield–Shelbyville rivalry
635
636->''"But if this cape shrinks, consider your species EXTINCT!"''
637-->-- '''Lrrr''', ''WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}}'', "Anthology of Interest 2"
638
639->'''Homer:''' But if I die during the operation, will you do one thing for me?\
640'''Marge:''' Oh, anything, sweetheart!\
641'''Homer:''' Blow up the hospital.\
642'''Marge:''' Hurmmm. [[IGaveMyWord Well, I said I’d do it, so I guess I’ll have to.]]
643-->-- ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons'', "Homer Simpson In: Kidney Trouble"
644
645->''"This is not a proportional punishmeeeeent!"''
646-->-- '''Dolph''' while the newly-superpowered Milhouse drops him into a volcano after Dolph gave him a wedgie, ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons'', "Treehouse Of Horror XXVI", "Telepaths of Glory"
647
648->''"What?! You made me leave work and chase you through the neighborhood on a dog for $25 [to pay a DVD fine]?"''
649-->-- '''Nicole Watterson''', ''WesternAnimation/TheAmazingWorldOfGumball''
650
651->'''Klaus:''' You're going to kill five people over $20?!\
652'''Roger:''' Are you really asking that to the guy who just last week killed '''six people''' over '''nineteen''' dollars?\
653'''Klaus:''' Oh yeah...
654-->-- ''WesternAnimation/AmericanDad''
655
656->''"Oh, tryin' to be friends, but people are jerks,\
657So I'm gonna put some fleas on you\
658And the fleas'll have the plague, and they'll make you cough a lot,\
659And then you'll be too sick to hurt my feelings anymore"''
660-->-- '''Plague rat''', ''WesternAnimation/TheMarvelousMisadventuresOfFlapjack''
661
662->''"Nigga, did I just catch you having fun!?" [slaps his young son]''
663-->-- '''Mister Ruckus''', ''WesternAnimation/TheBoondocks''
664
665->''"Now remember, this is not your fault. This man took your weekend from you. Two days you'll never get back! You gotta kill him."''
666-->-- '''Nicole''', ''WesternAnimation/TheBoondocks''
667
668->''"I heard he killed a kid just for looking at his stoop!"''
669-->-- '''Rhonda''', ''WesternAnimation/HeyArnold'', "Stoop Kid"
670
671->'''Bart Simpson:''' Who names these things [the constellations], anyway?
672->'''Principal Skinner:''' Whoever discovers them. I've been hoping I could find something that would be named after me.
673->'''Bart:''' And you've never found anything?
674->'''Skinner:''' Once, but by the time I got to the phone, my discovery had already been reported by Principal Kahoutek... (''a cloud covers the moon; scary music plays as he starts speaking ominously'') [[NoodleIncident I got back at him, though]]... [[AndYourLittleDogToo him and that little boy of his]]... (''the music ends and he starts speaking normally'') [[MoodWhiplash Anyway, that's why I always keep a cellular phone next to me]].
675-->-- ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons'', "Bart's Comet"
676
677->''"You broke my fiddle; now I'm gonna break your neck!"''
678-->-- '''Nero''' to '''Daffy Duck''' and '''Speedy Gonzales''', ''WesternAnimation/LooneyTunes'', "See Ya Later Gladiator"
679
680->'''Flying Dutchman:''' That little display of parsimonious penny pinching just earned you a nice little spot in Davy Jones' Locker FOR ETERNITY!
681->'''Mr. Krabs:''' I'm not cheap, I'm generous!
682->'''Squidward:''' [[BrutalHonesty You almost tore a man's arm off for a penny.]]
683->'''Mr. Krabs:''' [[SnarkingThanks Thanks, Squidward, I knew I could count on you.]]
684-->-- ''WesternAnimation/SpongeBobSquarePants'', Recap/SpongeBobSquarePantsS3E16BornAgainKrabsIHadAnAccident
685[[/folder]]
686
687[[folder:Real Life]]
688->''"Men should either be treated generously or destroyed, because they take revenge for slight injures — for heavy ones they cannot."''
689-->-- '''Creator/NiccoloMachiavelli'''
690
691->''[[https://news.google.com/newspapers?nid=1817&dat=19410808&id=SfY-AAAAIBAJ&sjid=Yk0MAAAAIBAJ&pg=6526,4499844 Negro Is First To Die For Night Burglary]]''
692-->-- '''[[UsefulNotes/AmericanNewspapers The Tuscaloosa News]]''' article reporting on the case of Frank Bass, executed on August 8th, 1941 [[DisproportionateRetribution for burglary]]
693[[/folder]]
694

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