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1%%NOTE TO EDITORS: Examples are sorted by genre or category; when adding new examples, please put them under the appropriate header.
2%%
3%%
4----
5[[foldercontrol]]
6
7[[folder:Anime & Manga]]
8
9->'''Ropporu''': [''rolls piece of paper into cylindrical tube''] By connecting the corner of both papers, point A can go through B in no time. That's what a "warp" means. You understand now?\
10'''Nobita''': I... dunno. If the universe is made of paper, wouldn't it be huge and costly?\
11[''cue Ropporu doing a FaceFault'']
12-->-- Ropporu trying to explain the concept of FoldThePageFoldTheSpace to Nobita in ''Anime/DoraemonTheRecordsOfNobitaSpaceblazer''. It... doesn't work.
13
14
15->'''Tsubomi:''' [[UnsettlingGenderReveal The student council president is a girl...]] My first love... ended in three minutes...!\
16'''Erika:''' Uh, what should I say... Thank goodness that the Fashion Club can continue on!\
17'''Tsubomi:''' THAT'S IT!? If you're my friend, shouldn't you comfort me instead!?
18-->-- ''Anime/HeartCatchPrettyCure''
19[[/folder]]
20
21[[folder:Comic Books]]
22->'''Knight:''' A bigfoot and an alien! They really do exist! And we found them! Do you know what this means?\
23'''Daye:''' That true love is also possible?\
24'''Knight:''' No, you dolt! It means we'll finally be back in good graces down at HQ!\
25'''Daye:''' You mean they'll forget all about [[NoodleIncident the incident]]?\
26''[Knight gives Daye a DopeSlap]''
27-->-- ''ComicBook/BigfootAndGrayOnTheRun''
28
29->'''Patron 1:''' Is that it? I want a refund!\
30'''Patron 2:''' [[TheMostDangerousVideoGame A refund!? Bob's dead!]]\
31'''Patron 1:''' Then he should get a refund too!
32-->-- ''[[ComicBook/SpiderMan Amazing Spider-Man]]'' Vol 5 #23 (2019)
33
34->'''Scrooge:''' Well... Let's just start testing combinations!\
35'''Huey:''' You '''can't''', Unca Scrooge! The number of possible combinations of the '''nine''' knights is 9x8x7x6x5x4x3x2x1!\
36'''Dewey:''' That's... '''362,880'''!!\
37'''Donald:''' Your point is... We hafta work '''late'''?\
38'''Huey:''' We'd have to work '''full-time''' for '''20 years'''!
39-->-- ''ComicBook/TheLifeAndTimesOfScroogeMcDuck'', "A Letter from Home"
40
41->'''Emma Frost''': Three students were missing from my ethics class. ''Seventeen'' overall. Logan had to break up two fistfights ''and'' a mystical swordfight. And that dreadful Guatemalan crab-boy is at Benetech telling reporters this is every mutant's only chance to avoid burning in everlasting ''hellfire''. This is eating us from the inside out.\
42'''Kitty Pryde''': Oh my God ... ''you'' teach ''ethics?''
43-->-- ''ComicBook/AstonishingXMen''
44
45->'''ComicBook/{{Supergirl}}:''' Okay, let's review. You, Brainiac 5, while experimenting on a supposedly "magical" statue, bombarded it with timestream energy, thereby summoning an alien death goddess.\
46'''[[ComicBook/LegionOfSuperHeroes Brainiac 5]]:''' Mm.\
47'''Supergirl:''' Then, when she shows up and starts possessing our friends, your first inclination is not to stay and fight, but run away into the timestream. Which pretty much ensures that she enslaves the entire Earth.\
48'''Brainiac 5:''' Oh, I doubt the entire Earth's been enslaved by this point, Supergirl. I mean, she's only had a few days.
49-->-- ''ComicBook/Supergirl2005''
50
51->'''Dastardly Dalton:''' Dinky, you shouldn't just sit there eating hot dogs with mustard, mayonnaise and raspberry jelly!\
52'''Dinky Dalton:''' You're right! Next batch, leave off the mustard!
53-->-- ''ComicBook/LaffALympics''
54[[/folder]]
55
56[[folder:Comic Strips]]
57->'''Calvin:''' Bird... I've got it! Yellow Bellied Sapsucker.\
58'''Hobbes:''' But there are only five boxes.\
59'''Calvin:''' I know. These idiots make you write real small.
60-->-- ''ComicStrip/CalvinAndHobbes''
61[[/folder]]
62
63[[folder:Fan Works]]
64->'''Shiro:''' Renji and Rukia are hiding something from us. I heard 'em talking about it on the way back, when you were busy sulking.\
65'''Ichigo:''' I don't sulk.\
66'''Shiro:''' ''That's'' what you focus on, King? Really?
67-->-- ''[[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10452084/23/Ichigo-Meet-Ichigo Ichigo, Meet Ichigo]]''
68
69->''"I meant the *story's* Lana, not you!"''
70-->-- '''[[WesternAnimation/TheLoudHouse Lincoln Loud]]''', after he told [[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13389527/1/Hide-and-Seek a story]]'s depiction of Lana to dig in the trash, and the real Lana left, ''Fanfic/PeekingThroughTheFourthWall'', Episode 31
71
72->'''[[WesternAnimation/TheLoudHouse Lynn Loud Sr.]]''': ''(trying to give his son Lincoln TheTalk)'' "Imagine you were a bee and Ronnie Anne was a flower. Now the bee carefully approaches the flower, because it wants its nectar, and--"
73->'''Lincoln Loud''': "What kind of flower?"
74->'''Lynn Sr.''': "Huh?"
75->'''Lincoln''': "What kind of flower is Ronnie Anne?"
76->'''Lynn Sr.''': "Well, um... I don't know. What kind of flower do you think she is?"
77->'''Lincoln''': "Poison ivy?"
78->'''Lynn Sr.''': "That's... that won't work, Lincoln."
79->'''Lincoln''': "Then maybe a rose."
80->'''Lynn Sr.''': "Aw, how romantic!"
81->'''Lincoln''': "No, Dad, I mean because of the thorns. Actually, I'd rather see Ronnie Anne as a bee than as a flower."
82->'''Lynn Sr.''': "What? But Ronnie Anne can't be the bee!"
83->'''Lincoln''': "Why not?"
84->'''Lynn Sr.''': "Because? ... Because the bee stings!"
85->'''Lincoln''': "So does Ronnie Anne."
86-->-- ''[[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12568479/1/Of-Flowers-and-Bees Of Flowers and Bees]]''
87[[/folder]]
88
89[[folder:Film -- Animated]]
90->'''Batman''': All I've ever wanted to do is kill him. A day doesn't go by that I don't think about subjecting him to every horrendous torture he's dealt out to others, and then... end him.\
91'''The Joker''': Aw, so you *do* think about me!
92-->-- ''WesternAnimation/BatmanUnderTheRedHood''
93
94->'''Agent Fleming:''' This is your last chance! Show us the unit now!\
95'''Cornholio:''' Why does everyone want to see my schlong?
96-->-- ''WesternAnimation/BeavisAndButtheadDoAmerica''
97
98->'''Buzz:''' This diabolical plot can only be the work of the sworn enemy of the [[TheAlliance Galactic Alliance]]: [[BigBad Evil Emperor Zurg]]!\
99({{Beat}})\
100'''Warp:''' What PLOT?! You think Zurg is behind every kitten stuck in a tree!\
101'''Buzz:''' That fiend! Why can't he leave the kitty cats out of his nefarious schemes?
102-->-- ''Recap/BuzzLightyearOfStarCommandE1TheAdventureBegins''
103
104->''[=[=][[InstantWakingSkills suddenly awakes]]] "Aaaah! The [[ChekhovsGunman peasant!]] [[LargeHam At the diner..!]]" [{{Beat}}] "...He didn't pay his check..." [falls back to sleep]''
105-->-- '''[[MinionWithAnFInEvil Kronk]]''', ''WesternAnimation/TheEmperorsNewGroove''
106
107-> '''Sid:''' Hey. [[TheDiaperChange Why am I the poop-checker]]?\
108'''Manny:''' Because returning the runt was your idea. Because you're small and insignificant. ''And because I'll pummel you if you don't!''\
109'''Sid:''' ...Why else?\
110'''Manny:''' '''NOW,''' SID!
111-->-- ''WesternAnimation/IceAge1''
112
113->'''Shen''': The Year of the Peacock begins now!\
114'''Wolf Boss''': Right now? 'Cause it's the middle of the year... so you'd only get like a half of the Year of the Peacock.\
115''[Shen points a knife at the Wolf Boss' throat with a DeathGlare]''\
116'''Wolf Boss''': And this is, of course, the Year of the Peacock, aha... Happy New Year, sir.
117-->-- ''WesternAnimation/KungFuPanda2''
118
119->''"And Megamind! This one's for [[PaperThinDisguise Space Step-Mom]]! '''You lied to her!'''"''
120-->-- '''Hal Stewart/Tighten''', ''WesternAnimation/{{Megamind}}''
121
122->'''Norman''': I like to be alone.\
123'''Neil''': So do I! Let's do it together!
124-->-- ''WesternAnimation/ParaNorman''
125
126->'''Cortez:''' My crew was as carefully chosen as the Disciples of Christ, and I will not tolerate stowaways. [[ToThePain You will be flogged. And when we put in to Cuba to resupply, God willing, you will be flogged some more. And then enslaved on the sugar plantations for the rest of your miserable lives.]] To the brig!\
127'''Miguel:''' Alright! Cuba!
128-->-- ''WesternAnimation/TheRoadToElDorado''
129
130->'''Superman''': I haven't told you my identity for the same reason we haven't gone public with our relationship. Why we come here to be alone.\
131'''Lois Lane''': Well, try reading a gossip column. Practically all of Metropolis thinks we're dating anyway. You're clinging to keep one last part of you separate from us. And the only reason that I can fathom is that for an alien, you've developed a very human... very male fear of commitment. We've been together for six months. It would be nice to start calling you something other than Superman!\
132'''Robot''': He also goes by Kal-El.\
133'''Lois''': Shut up!
134-->-- ''WesternAnimation/SupermanDoomsday''
135
136->'''Banzai''': "Yeah, we'll be prepared... for what?"
137->'''Scar''': "For the death of the king!"
138->'''Banzai''': "Why? Is he sick?"
139->'''Scar''': "No, you fool! We're gonna kill him! And Simba, too!"
140->'''Shenzi''': ''(excitedly)'' "Great idea! Who needs a king?!"
141->'''Hyenas''': ''(singing)'': "No king, no king, la la la la la la!"
142->'''Scar''': "Idiots! There will be a king!"
143->'''Banzai''': "But you said..."
144->'''Scar''': "''I'' will be king!"
145-->-- ''WesternAnimation/TheLionKing1994''
146
147->'''Violet Parr''': "Mom and Dad's lives could be at stake, or worse... their ''marriage''!"
148->'''Dash Parr''': "Their marriage?! So, the bad guys are gonna wreck Mom and Dad's marriage?"
149-->-- ''WesternAnimation/TheIncredibles1''
150
151->'''Dory''': "What were we talking about?"
152->'''Nemo''': "Mommies and daddies."
153->'''Dory''': "Mommies and daddies, right. Why are we talking about mommies and daddies? Oh. Oh! That class. Uh-oh! Why me? Okay. You guys seem a little young, but, um... okay. You see, kids, when two fish love each other..."
154-->-- ''WesternAnimation/FindingDory''
155
156->'''Shrek''': ''(who's found out his wife is pregnant)'' "How did this happen?!"
157->'''Puss in Boots''': "Allow me to explain. You see, when a man has certain feelings for a woman, a powerful urge sweeps over him..."
158->'''Shrek''': "I know ''how'' it happened!"
159-->-- ''WesternAnimation/ShrekTheThird''
160
161->'''Emmet''': "And what would Lord Business never expect a Master Builder to do?"
162->'''Benny''': "Build a spaceship?"
163->'''Batman''': "Kill a chicken?"
164->'''Unikitty''': "Marry a marshmallow?"
165->'''Metal Beard''': "This?" ''(morphs and plays music)''
166->'''Emmet''': "No, it's follow the instructions!"
167-->-- ''WesternAnimation/TheLEGOMovie''
168[[/folder]]
169
170[[folder:Film -- Live-Action]]
171->'''Vanessa''': Did you use protection?\
172'''Austin''': Sure baby, I used a 9mm automatic!\
173'''Vanessa''': You know that's not what I meant. Did you use a condom?\
174'''Austin''': No! Only sailors use condoms!\
175'''Vanessa''': Not in the '90s, Austin!\
176'''Austin''': Well they should, those filthy buggers. They go from port to port.
177-->-- ''Film/AustinPowers''
178
179->'''Martin''': And I'm wondering, how did it all slip away?\
180'''Karen''': Well, "it" didn't slip away, Martin. You did, when you went off to fuck Nicky at my birthday party.\
181'''Martin''': Yeah, that was a good party.
182-->-- ''Film/GetShorty''
183
184->'''Mr. Furious''': [[ClarkKenting ...Lance Hunt]] '''[[ClarkKenting is]]''' [[SecretIdentity Captain Amazing.]]\
185'''The Shoveller''': Don't start that ''again''. [[PaperThinDisguise Lance Hunt wears glasses. Captain Amazing]] ''[[PaperThinDisguise doesn't]]'' [[PaperThinDisguise wear glasses.]]\
186'''Mr. Furious''': He takes them off when he transforms.\
187'''The Shoveller''': That doesn't make any sense, he wouldn't be able to see.
188-->-- ''Film/MysteryMen''
189
190->'''Dexter''': I don't like you, cain't you get that through your head!?\
191'''Ed''': LOOK, I'm [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin Grape-Nose-Boy!]] BLOOPEDDY BLOOPEDDY BLOOPEDDY BLOOPEDDY...
192-->-- ''Film/GoodBurger''
193
194->''"You mean Bethany's... part-black?"''
195-->-- '''Jay''', ''Film/{{Dogma}}'', on the revelation that Bethany's the descendant of Jesus.
196
197->'''Peter Parker''': Spider-Man wasn't trying to attack the city, he was trying to save it! That's slander!\
198'''J. Jonah Jameson''': It is not! I resent that! ''[{{beat}}]'' Slander is spoken; in print, it's libel.
199-->-- ''[[Film/SpiderMan1 Spider-Man]]''
200
201->'''ComicBook/RocketRaccoon''': Well, supposedly, these bald bodies find you attractive, so maybe you could work out some sort of trade.\
202'''ComicBook/{{Gamora}}''': You must be joking.\
203'''Rocket''': No, I really heard they find you attractive.
204-->-- ''Film/GuardiansOfTheGalaxy2014''
205
206->'''Tony Stark:''' You're from Earth.\
207'''Peter Quill:''' Not from Earth, I'm from Missouri.\
208'''Tony Stark:''' Yeah, that's on Earth, ''dipshit!''
209-->-- ''Film/AvengersInfinityWar''
210
211->'''Brian''': Look, you've got it all wrong! You don't NEED to follow ME, You don't NEED to follow ANYBODY! You've got to think for your selves! You're ALL individuals!\
212'''The Crowd''': Yes! We're all individuals!\
213'''Brian''': You're all different!\
214'''The Crowd''': Yes, we ARE all different!
215-->-- ''Film/MontyPythonsLifeOfBrian''
216
217->'''S.W.A.T Team Man''': Freeze! Move out! Drop it!\
218'''Civilian''': Are you crazy? Do you know how much I paid for this gun?
219-->-- ''Film/HarryAndTheHendersons''
220
221->'''Maxwell H. Brock''': To be uncreative you might as well be in your grave... or in the Army.\
222'''Walter Paisley''': They tried to draft me once. I couldn't pass the test.
223-->-- ''Film/ABucketOfBlood''
224
225->'''Peter''': Why are your father's ashes in a coffee can?\
226'''Ethan''': Because he's dead, Peter!
227-->-- ''Film/DueDate''
228
229->'''Lisa Nolan''': You're going to ride a horse while intoxicated?\
230'''Ciarán O'Shea''': Yeah, so? The horse is sober.
231-->-- ''Film/{{Grabbers}}''
232
233->'''Joe:''' What are you talking about? You can't marry Osgood.\
234'''Jerry:''' Why, you think he's too old for me? [...] Look, I know there's a problem, Joe.\
235'''Joe:''' I'll say there is.\
236'''Jerry:''' His mother - we need her approval, but I'm not worried because I don't smoke.\
237'''Joe:''' Jerry. There's another problem, like what are you gonna do on your honeymoon?\
238'''Jerry:''' We've been discussing that. He wants to go to the Riviera but I'm kinda leaning toward Niagara Falls.
239-->-- ''Film/SomeLikeItHot''
240
241->'''Cole''': You know what? You're Don Draper, from ''Series/MadMen''. How he's all cool, and handsome, and everybody loves him, and then he goes home and you find out he has a wife this whole time. He's such a piece of shit!\
242'''Bee''': Did you just ruin ''Mad Men'' for me?
243-->-- ''Film/TheBabysitter2017''
244
245->'''Viago''': You're a cool guy but you're not pulling your weight in the flat.\
246'''Deacon''': Well, I'm glad to hear that I'm cool.
247-->-- ''Film/WhatWeDoInTheShadows''
248
249->'''Veronica Sawyer''': All we want is to be treated like human beings, not to be experimented on like guinea pigs or patronized like bunny rabbits.\
250'''Mr. Sawyer''': I don't patronize bunny rabbits.
251-->-- ''Film/{{Heathers}}''
252
253->'''Dr. Raymond Stantz''': Everything was fine with our system until the power grid was shut off by dickless here.\
254'''Walter Peck''': They caused an explosion!\
255'''Mayor''': Is this true?\
256'''Dr. Peter Venkman''': Yes, it's true. This man has no dick.
257-->-- ''Film/Ghostbusters1984''
258
259->'''Connie''': AAGH! What's that?!\
260'''Sid''': S'all right, Con. S'only a donkey.\
261'''Connie''': I know it's a donkey, what's it doing in my lounge?!
262-->-- ''Film/CarryOnGirls''
263
264->'''Evelyn''': I think I'm going to go mad.\
265'''Stanley''': Well, hang on, please, before you go anywhere, I think I'd better go an' check.
266-->-- ''Film/CarryOnAbroad''
267
268->'''Professor Vooshka''': Must be finding doctors, man is injured.\
269'''Ernie''': But what man?\
270'''Professor Vooshka''': Is, is professor of archaeology. Is bleeding terrible.\
271'''Fred''': Never mind 'is qualifications, is 'e 'urt badly?
272-->-- ''Film/CarryOnBehind''
273
274->''"Staying behind after school? Meeting *before* school!? On *weekends?!* What kind of extracurricular activities *are* these?!"''
275-->-- '''Gregory "Greg" Heffley''', ''Film/DiaryOfAWimpyKid''
276
277->'''Conrad''': "Where do you come from?"
278->'''Cat in the Hat''': "When a mommy cat and a daddy cat love each other very much..."
279->'''Conrad''': "No, no, no, where did you ''come'' from!?"
280-->-- ''Film/TheCatInTheHat''
281
282->'''Miss Gulch''': "What's she done? I'm all but lame from the bite on my leg!"
283->'''Zeke''': "You mean she bit you?"
284->'''Miss Gulch''': "No, her dog."
285->'''Zeke''': "Oh, she bit her ''dog'', huh?"
286->'''Miss Gulch''': "No!"
287-->-- ''Film/TheWizardOfOz''
288
289->'''Sir Lancelot''': You cut a patient, he bleeds, until the processes of nature form a clot and stop it. This interval is known scientifically as the "bleeding time". You! What's the bleeding time?
290->'''Simon''': Ten past ten, sir.
291-->-- ''Film/DoctorInTheHouse1954''
292
293->'''Wendover''': Well, I was bending down in the trenches like a private leading my men over the top, when suddenly - ''bang'' - awf goes there's a grenade, an' a lump of shrapnel hits me right up the-
294->'''Sir Lancelot''': Rectum?
295->'''Wendover''': Well, it didn't do 'em any good.
296-->-- ''Film/DoctorInClover''
297
298->'''Wendover''': So, under the circumstances, you'll be wantin' apologise!
299->'''Captain Spratt''': I ''apologise'' to '''you?!'''
300->'''Wendover''': Thank you ''very'' much.
301-->-- ''Film/DoctorInTrouble''
302
303->'''Matron''': This hospital just isn't big enough for both of us, Dr Kilmore.
304->'''Dr Kilmore''': Oh, now, come on. You're not all that big, Matron. ({{Beat}}) Oh, yes, I see.
305-->-- ''Film/CarryOnDoctor''
306
307->'''Janet''': Oh, by the way, did y-
308->'''Ian''': No, Janet, we're in the middle of the road.
309->'''Janet''': Oh, well, that doesn't matter. It's a very ''quiet'' street.
310-->-- ''Film/PleaseTurnOver''
311
312->'''Mr. Allcock''': Pleased to meet you, gents. And sorry if I'm a bit late, but I had another stoppage this morning.
313->'''Mr. Boggs''': I'm sorry to hear that. You want to try Epsom salts. Marvellous stuff.
314->'''Mr. Allcock''': ({{Beat}}) Work stoppage, I mean.
315-->-- ''Film/CarryOnAtYourConvenience'' DeletedScene
316
317->'''Matron''': This interfering busy-body-
318->'''District Nurse''': A ''very'' pretty little body, I agree.
319-->-- ''Film/NoKidding''
320
321->'''Henry:''' Er, ajar.
322->'''George:''' Eh? We're not making a jam?
323->'''Henry:''' The door, you great ''nit''.
324-->-- ''Film/TwiceRoundTheDaffodils''
325[[/folder]]
326
327[[folder:Literature]]
328->'''[[RoyalsWhoActuallyDoSomething Princess Selenay]]''': I will ''not'' take those gowns, or ''these'' gowns, or any gowns ''at all!'' How many times must I tell you? I'm going to a ''battlefield,'' not a fete, a state visit, or a festival!\
329'''[[TheDitz Maid]]''': But, Highness, you will be surrounded by highborn young men! Your Highness cannot possibly wish to appear the hoyden--"
330-->-- ''[[Literature/HeraldsOfValdemar Exile's Honor]]''
331
332->'''Harry:''' Holy shit. {{Hellhound}}s.\
333'''Michael:''' Harry. You know I hate it when you swear.\
334'''Harry:''' You're right. Sorry. Holy shit. [[GoshDangItToHeck Heckhounds.]]
335-->-- ''Literature/GravePeril''
336
337->'''Robin''': "It would be quicker to post you the punchline than wait for you to get the joke."
338->'''George''': "That would take too long."
339-->-- ''Literature/TheMidnightGang''
340
341->'''Owl''': "It's just the sort of place for an ambush."
342->'''Winnie the Pooh''': ''(whispering to Piglet)'' "What sort of bush? A gorse bush?"
343->'''Owl''': "My dear Pooh, don't you know what an ambush is?"
344->'''Piglet''': "Owl, Pooh's whisper was a perfectly private whisper, and there was no need--"
345->'''Owl''': "An ambush is a sort of surprise."
346->'''Winnie the Pooh''': "And so is a gorse bush sometimes."
347->'''Piglet''': "An ambush, as I was about to explain to Pooh, is a sort of surprise."
348->'''Owl''': "If people jump out at you suddenly, that's an ambush."
349->'''Piglet''': "It's an ambush, Pooh, when people jump at you suddenly."
350->'''Owl''': ''(after Pooh mentions that a gorse bush sprung at him once)'' "We are not talking about gorse bushes!"
351->'''Winnie the Pooh''': "I am."
352-->-- ''Literature/WinnieThePooh'', "In Which Christopher Robin Leads an Expotition to the North Pole"
353
354->'''Samppa:''' Sea monsters!
355->'''Tuukka:''' Sea monsters aren't that small.
356->'''Samppa:''' They're their babies. They can gnaw an elephant into a skeleton in half a minute.
357->'''Hanna:''' You're talking about piranhas now.
358->'''Samppa:''' No I'm not. I'm talking about elephants.
359->'''Pukari:''' I'll twist your elephant's trunk into a bow if you keep talking about it!
360->'''Tuukka:''' Besides, piranhas and elephants live in different continents.
361->'''Samppa:''' Who cares. I was talking about sea monsters.
362->'''Tiina:''' They're baby fish.
363->'''Pate:''' I don't understand how baby fish can twist an elephant's trunk into a bow and eat an entire continent.
364-->--''Literature/EllaAndFriends''
365[[/folder]]
366
367[[folder:Live-Action TV]]
368->'''Charles''': Now, which is the worst tennis-playing nation in the world? \
369'''She''': Er ... Australia. \
370'''Charles''': No. Try again. \
371'''She''': Australia?\
372'''Charles''': ''(testily)'' No... try again but say a different place.\
373'''She''': Oh, I thought you meant I'd said it badly.
374-->-- ''Series/MontyPythonsFlyingCircus'', "Science Fiction Sketch"
375
376->'''Geoffrey (the butler):''' I couldn't possibly ''[pursue a relationship with a wealthy socialite]''. It's a matter of class.\
377'''Will:''' Ain't nobody got more class than you. [[SharpDressedMan You wear a tuxedo to clean the toilet!]]
378-->-- ''Series/TheFreshPrinceOfBelAir''
379
380-> '''Jimmy [=McGill=]:''' Let’s talk proportionally. They’re guilty – oh, agreed. Now you have to decide what’s the right sentence?\
381'''[[spoiler:Tuco]]:''' Like a judge.\
382'''Jimmy [=McGill=]:''' Like a judge. Ever heard of the Code of Hammurabi – let the punishment fit the crime, eye for an eye?\
383'''[[spoiler:Tuco]]:''' Eye for an eye. [[BlackComedy You want me to blind them]].[[note]]The "eye for an eye" clause of the Hammurabi Code was actually a ''ban'' on DisproportionateRetribution (hence the "let the punishment fit the crime" bit). More details can be found [[Analysis/DisproportionateRetribution on that page]].[[/note]]
384-->-- ''Series/BetterCallSaul''
385
386->'''Pearl:''' Look around you. You're eight miles from your nearest neighbor. You're overrun with skunks, opossums, coyotes, bobcats. You use kerosene lamps for light, you cook on a wood stove summer and winter. You're drinking homemade moonshine, washing with homemade lye soap. And your bathroom is fifty feet from the house and you ask should you move?!\
387''[{{Beat}}]''\
388'''Jed:''' Yeah, I reckon you're right. Man be a danged fool to leave all this.
389-->-- ''Series/TheBeverlyHillbillies''
390
391-> '''The Doctor:''' Ow, ow, itchy, itchy, itchy! ''[shakes foot wildly, hopping around on one foot, before pulling his shoe off and binning it triumphantly]''\
392'''Martha:''' [[YoureInsane You're completely mad]]!\
393'''The Doctor:''' You're right. I look daft with one shoe. ''[pulls other shoe off and drops it in the bin too]''
394-->-- ''Series/DoctorWho'', "Smith and Jones"
395
396->'''The Doctor:''' She was frightened, ''I'' was frightened... But we survived, and the relief of it and... so, [[GladToBeAliveSex she kissed me.]]\
397'''Rory:''' And you kissed her back?\
398'''The Doctor:''' ...no, I kissed her mouth.
399-->-- ''Series/DoctorWho''
400
401->'''Dorien''': Oh my God, I've landed on the [[TabletopGame/{{Monopoly}} Old Kent Road]]. I can't possibly stay there.\
402'''Tracey''': Why not?\
403'''Dorien''': Well, it's full of ''poor'' people.
404-->-- ''Series/BirdsOfAFeather'', "[[Recap/BirdsOfAFeatherS5E13TheBeautifulGame The Beautiful Game]]"
405
406->'''Ameglian Major Cow:''' Good evening madame, and gentlemen, I am the dish of the day. May I interest you in parts of my body?\
407'''Arthur Dent:''' Huh?!\
408'''Ford Prefect:''' ''[shrugs]'' Oh, well.\
409'''Ameglian Major Cow:''' Something off my shoulder, perhaps, braised in a little white wine sauce?\
410'''Arthur Dent:''' ''Your'' shoulder?\
411'''Ameglian Major Cow:''' Well, naturally mine, sir. Nobody else's is mine to offer!
412-->-- ''Series/TheHitchhikersGuideToTheGalaxy1981''
413
414->'''Big''': Do you know your trouble? You go around with your eyes closed, mate.
415->'''Small''': How can I when they're painted open?
416-->-- ''Series/TheGnomesOfDulwich'', "Neighbours"
417
418->''''Ernie''': "Why did my ice cubes run away from home!?"
419->'''Bert''': "Oh, Ernie, now that's -- that-- that's silly. Ice cubes can't run away from home."
420->'''Ernie''': "You're right."
421->'''Bert''': "Right."
422->'''Ernie''': "They didn't even have suitcases or bus fare. Something must've happened to them."
423->'''Bert''': "True."
424->'''Ernie''': "Bert!"
425->'''Bert''': "What?"
426->'''Ernie''': "I think I've suddenly realised what happened?"
427->'''Bert''': "Well, about time too."
428->'''Ernie''': "Yes, somebody stole my ice cubes."
429->'''Bert''': "Oh, brother!"
430->''(later)''
431->'''Ernie''': "Bert, look at this -- I've found a clue! Hey, take a look at -- take a look at the box here. Look, look in the box."
432->'''Bert''': "Yeah?"
433->'''Ernie''': "This box used to contain ice cubes..."
434->'''Bert''': "Yeah?"
435->'''Ernie''': "But now it's full of water."
436->'''Bert''': ''(impatiently)'' "So it is! ''Now'' do you see what happened?!"
437->'''Ernie''': "I certainly do!"
438->'''Bert''': "Well, good!"
439->'''Ernie''': "Everything is perfectly clear!"
440->'''Bert''': "At last!"
441->'''Ernie''': "A ''fish'' stole my ice cubes!"
442-->-- ''Series/SesameStreet''
443
444->'''Emma:''' "What does a double yellow line mean?"\
445'''Jessie:''' You can't pass.\
446'''Emma:''' That's not very nice! I'm doing my best! That's what scares me!\
447({{Beat}})\
448'''Emma:''' "What does a red octo-gonal sign mean?"\
449'''Jessie:''' Stop.\
450'''Emma:''' Stop? I just started!
451-->-- ''Series/{{Jessie}}'', "Driving Miss Crazy"
452
453->'''Pudding''': ''Ah'', the days of wine and roses. They are not long.
454->'''Samantha''': Who said that?
455->'''Pudding''': I did?
456-->-- ''Series/ItsAwfullyBadForYourEyesDarling'', "A New Lease"
457[[/folder]]
458
459[[folder:Music]]
460->''Shoots him down dead on the floor''\
461''Aw, you shouldn't do that''\
462''Don't you know you'll stain the carpet''\
463''Now don't you know you'll stain the carpet''
464-->-- ''The Music/VelvetUnderground'', "Sister Ray"
465[[/folder]]
466
467[[folder:Newspaper]]
468->"For a far more thought-provoking tale about the virtual realm, try ''Film/TheSocialNetwork.''"
469-->-- from a USA Today review of ''Film/TronLegacy''
470
471->Creator/WillSmith was now excited about starring, though, and red-hot Creator/MichaelBay wanted to direct. Michael's first words upon meeting me were, "OK, how do we get this thing out of the damn telephone booth?" My Fox executives went into shock. Within days, Michael Bay was out and the Creator/HughesBrothers had been brought aboard to direct.
472-->-- '''Creator/LarryCohen''' on ''Film/PhoneBooth'''s DevelopmentHell, [[https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-2003-mar-30-ca-cohen30-story.html Phone Booth: A 30-year project wouldn't hang up]]
473[[/folder]]
474
475[[folder:Philosophy]]
476->''"When the wise man points at the moon, it is the fool who looks at the finger."''
477-->-- '''Confucius'''
478[[/folder]]
479
480[[folder:Podcasts]]
481->''"A continuation on our previous report about a Blinking Light up on the Mountain: As many of you noted, the very nature of our report indicated the existence of a Mountain – which is surprising, given that we live in vast, desert flatness. So yes, there is a Mountain. Let’s start there. There is a Mountain now, rising up out of the alluvial Floodplain.''\
482(later that episode)\
483''Ah-hah! We have some sharp listeners! Several of you noted that the strangeness of today does not end with the Blinking Light up on the Mountain, or the Mountain itself, but also this vast, muddy plain it rises from. So yes: we are now reporting that there is a great Floodplain, strewn with bones, around our city. Its wet patches glint slightly when the Blinking Light is illuminated. [...] The mud ripples under the footsteps of the approaching Masked Army, and this warps the reflections in interesting ways.''\
484(still later that episode)\
485''All right, we’re really gonna get it right this time. We have been focusing too narrowly, and we realize that. As many of you pointed out, we should have spent less time on the blinking light, and more time expanding on the bit about the approaching Masked Army. Ladies and gentlemen, here is what we know: There is a Blinking Light up on the Mountain. There is a Mountain on the Floodplain. There is a Floodplain under the Imminent Army. There is an Imminent Army maybe a couple of hours’ march from here. I do not believe, now, that we are leaving anything out."''
486-->--'''Cecil Gershwin Palmer''', ''Recap/WelcomeToNightValeEp31ABlinkingLightUpOnTheMountain''
487[[/folder]]
488
489[[folder:Stand-Up Comedy]]
490->''"It's so disgusting that a woman would leave her baby in a dumpster. [[DeadBabyComedy Some people eat out of those!]]"''
491-->-- '''Comedian Nikki Glaser'''
492[[/folder]]
493
494[[folder:Theater]]
495->'''Ghost:''' Revenge his most foul and unnatural murder!\
496'''Hamlet:''' Murder!\
497'''Horatio:''' Murder!\
498'''Ghost:''' For the serpent that did sting thy father's life now wears his crown!\
499'''Hamlet:''' My uncle!\
500'''Horatio:''' His uncle!\
501'''Ghost:''' Let not the royal bed of Denmark become a couch for incest!\
502'''Hamlet:''' Incest!\
503'''Horatio:''' [[RuleOfThree A couch!]]\
504''[Hamlet smacks Horatio]''
505-->-- ''Theatre/TheCompleteWorksOfWilliamShakespeareAbridged''
506
507->'''Doctor''': ''(to a woman who's in labour and asked what's wrong with her)'' "Mrs. Wormwood, you really have no idea?"
508->'''Mrs. Wormwood''': "Gas?"
509->'''Doctor''': "Mrs. Wormwood, I want you to think very carefully. What do you think might be the cause of this?" ''(points at her baby bump)''
510->'''Mrs. Wormwood''': "Am I...? Am I...? Look, am I fat?!"
511->'''Doctor''': "You're pregnant!"
512->'''Mrs. Wormwood''': "What?"
513->'''Doctor''': "You're going to have a baby!"
514->'''Mrs. Wormwood''': "But I've got a baby! I don't want another one. Is there anything you can do?"
515->'''Doctor''': "You're ''nine months pregnant''!"
516->'''Mrs. Wormwood''': "Antibiotics?"
517-->-- ''Theatre/{{Matilda}}''
518[[/folder]]
519
520[[folder:Video Games]]
521->''"Do not damage the safety equipment. Remove it, in case of danger."''
522-->-- Female Announcer, ''VideoGame/RabbidsGoHome''
523
524->''"I DON'T KNOW ANYBODY NAMED GONZALES! STOP SPEAKING IN RIDDLES, YOU CHICKEN NUGGET!"''
525-->-- '''Bowser''', ''VideoGame/PaperMarioTheThousandYearDoor''
526
527->'''Parappa:''' Wait, wait wait! That doesn't sound like Rock'n Roll!\
528'''PJ:''' Cuz you played it funny. Now it's my turn.
529-->-- ''VideoGame/UmJammerLammy'', specifically [=PaRappa's=] story
530
531->'''Deekin:''' ''I like gnomes, / So dumb and fat, / Fat and dumb / In burrows like moles / Shoot 'em full of arrows / Put 'em on a stick / That's why I like gnomes.''\
532'''Grobnar:''' My word. Just ''hearing'' that gives me the shivers.\
533'''Qara:''' I'll bet that could have shattered a castle wall.\
534'''Sand:''' Well, that cleared my sinuses.\
535'''Shandra Jerro:''' How... pleasant. Now Grobnar, I'm sure he didn't m...\
536'''Grobnar:''' I say, this is... ''genius''. The tone, the tempo. You can almost ''feel'' the angst and pain of the gnomes as they are filled with arrows... and put on sticks. And the ''theme'' of the piece... now, that is tragedy, in its deepest, most primal form. And the climax, the uplifting portion, where the affirmation of liking gnomes is confirmed... And then brought full circle with the physical and emotional double meaning of them being in the mind ''and'' in the stomach. Amazing. I say, traveling to Neverwinter with you all has really been broadening my horizons -- who would have thought I'd get to meet a kobold author and playwright!
537-->-- ''VideoGame/NeverwinterNights2''
538
539->'''Morgana''': You have a very, uh, [[DrivesLikeCrazy "unique" way of driving]], Haru.\
540'''Haru''': Why, thank you, Mona-chan.\
541'''Futaba''': She ''really'' shouldn't take it as a compliment...
542-->-- ''VideoGame/Persona5Strikers''
543
544->'''Simon''': "And in the end, the moral is..."
545->'''Weasel''': "The journey is the reward?"
546->'''Skunk''': "Don't act like such a big shot?"
547->'''Pig''': "Always eat a good breakfast?"
548->'''Simon''': "NO! It's slow and steady wins the race!"
549-->-- ''VideoGame/LivingBooks'', "Literature/TheTortoiseAndTheHare"
550
551->'''Fubuki Clockford''': I know I have made the same mistake in the past, but… Did everyone in the city leave their water running?\
552'''Kurumi Wendy''': Ahaha, Fubuki, you’re so funny.\
553'''Shinigami''': I think she was serious.
554-->--''VideoGame/MasterDetectiveArchivesRainCode''
555
556->'''Q:''' '''APPLES DO NOT FALL UP'''\
557'''A:''' They're more like giant cherries.
558-->-- ''VideoGame/IWannaBeTheGuy'', [[http://kayin.pyoko.org/iwbtg/faq.php official FAQ]]
559[[/folder]]
560
561[[folder:Visual Novel]]
562->'''Ryunosuke Naruhodo:''' But why would a detective be working as a restaurant waiter? Ah! Of course! Your salary must be terrible!\
563'''Satoru Hosonaga:''' I was working undercover.
564-->-- ''VisualNovel/TheGreatAceAttorney: Adventures'', Case G1-1: "The Adventure of the Great Departure"
565[[/folder]]
566
567[[folder:Web Animation]]
568->'''Timmy:''' Hey, Jimmy, what's the answer to #2?\
569'''Jimmy:''' ''[[EnergyWeapon BLAAAAAAAAAAAARRGGH!]]''\
570'''Timmy:''' ... Okay... [[ExactWords "Blaaaaaa."]]
571-->-- ''[[WebAnimation/TheLazerCollection The Lazer Collection 2]]''
572
573->''[the players of AC Milan gather around Zlatan Ibrahimovic's plans to move in to the Champions Mansion]''\
574'''Zlatan Ibrahimovic:''' Tonight, [[ThirdPersonPerson Zlatan]] shall build a room worthy of the greatest team in Italian history. \
575'''Daniel Maldini:''' Juventus?\
576'''Ibrahimovic:''' No.\
577'''Gianluigi Donnarumma:''' Inter!\
578'''Ibrahimovic:''' No!\
579'''Rafael Leão:''' Ohhhhhh! You mean Napoli when Maradona was there!\
580'''Ibrahimovic:''' ''[FacePalm]''
581-->--''WebAnimation/{{The Champions|2018}}''
582
583->'''Andrealphus:''' If your husband dies, it won't turn out well for you.\
584'''Stella:''' [[RevengeBeforeReason He'll be dead! Why wouldn't it?]]\
585'''Andrealphus:''' Because, my dear sister, you've already produced an heir. When he dies, his duties, his possessions, his legions--it will all pass to Via.\
586''(Stella continues sipping tea, clearly not understanding.)''\
587'''Andrealphus:''' So, if you kill him, you would, hm...?\
588'''Stella:''' Laugh?\
589'''Andrealphus:''' ''[[EnragedByIdiocy No, you stupid cow! You'll get nothing!]]''
590-->-- ''WebAnimation/HelluvaBoss''
591
592->'''Lim:''' Name one time when I ever touched anything and got us into trouble.\
593''(Richi lists three such examples.)''\
594'''Lim:''' I said name ONE time!!
595-->-- ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fwOVqN79ftU Lim & Richi, Boundaries]]''
596
597[[/folder]]
598
599[[folder:Webcomics]]
600->''"'''UsefulNotes/{{Furry|Fandom}}?!''' Dude, does nothing--" [BeatPanel] "...Aha. Furry. Okay. Sure. Alright, I'm a furry. A furry that only comes out on [[{{Lunacy}} full moons]]. And I'm specifically a wolf furry. Yes. I am just a furry. '''Put two and two together, you freaking idiot. I. Am. A. Werewolf.'''"''
601-->-- '''Carl''', ''Webcomic/CansOfBeans'', [[http://www.cansofbeans.com/comics/64 Page 64]]
602
603->'''King Jack:''' You know of our [Pastel Kingdom's] long-time trusted ally, the Plaid Kingdom, right? For many years now, we've been discussing the idea of unifying both kingdoms and strengthening our bonds. Do you know [[AltarDiplomacy what that means]]?\
604'''Princess Lorena:''' Yeah, it means an impending fashion disaster because pastels and plaid look gross together.
605-->-- ''Webcomic/CursedPrincessClub'' [[https://www.webtoons.com/en/comedy/cursed-princess-club/ep-2-the-big-news/viewer?title_no=1537&episode_no=2 Episode 2]]
606
607->''"I mean, [[CatholicSchoolGirlsRule I like uniforms]], but what's the point if everyone in a group is wearing the same thing?"''
608-->-- '''Tedd''', ''Webcomic/ElGoonishShive'', [[http://egscomics.com/comic/2007-08-17 17 August 2007]]
609
610->''"Zii, as [[GratuitousFrench une lesbienne]], I'm... I'm... '''I'm going to miss boooooooooys!'''"''
611-->-- '''[=DiDi=]''', ''Webcomic/MenageA3'', [[http://www.menagea3.net/d/20090310.html 10 March 2009]]
612
613->'''Padme''': After it!\
614'''Clone NPC''': It's a spaceship. This is a hover transport-\
615'''Padme''': Modify the engines or something!\
616'''Clone NPC''': -with no walls.\
617'''Padme''': Hold your breaths!
618-->-- ''Webcomic/DarthsAndDroids'' [[http://darthsanddroids.net/episodes/0404.html Page 404]]
619
620->'''Gurlukovich:''' Oh boy! I can't wait to use Metal Gear RAY [[PatrioticFervor to restore Mother Russia to her former glory!]]\
621'''Ocelot:''' What? I'm sorry, I didn't catch that. It sounded like "Please shoot me in the face and take this Metal Gear." '''CAN DO'''. *bang bang bang bang*
622-->-- Webcomic/{{Hiimdaisy}}, ''[[VideoGame/MetalGearSolid2SonsOfLiberty Let's Destroy The Metal Gear Again!]]''
623
624->'''Christy:''' The more this (LovePotion-selling boondoggle) goes on the more I feel like we are helping sell snake oil.\
625'''Callie:''' Snake oil! That just gave me a great idea. We should find some [[SnakePeople nagas]] to sell to.
626-->-- ''Webcomic/MyDragonGirlfriend''
627
628->'''[[DramaQueen Dillon]]:''' ...I don't deserve a guy like Jerzy.\
629'''[[BadLiar Ruby]]:''' ...\
630'''Dillon:''' Here's where you say stuff like "Of course you deserve him, Dillon! You're a nice, handsome guy!"\
631'''Ruby:''' I don't like to lie.\
632'''Dillon:''' You don't find me handsome?
633-->-- ''Webcomic/StickyDillyBuns''
634[[/folder]]
635
636[[folder:Web Original]]
637->'''<Batty>''': Euch, rap is just missing one letter. c.\
638'''<zeep>''': rapc?\
639'''<Batty>''': ...\
640'''<Batty>''': Crap you idiot. you put the c on the other end\
641'''<zeep>''': oic\
642'''<Batty>''': Though you could also say it's missing an e\
643'''<zeep>''': wtf is erap?''
644-->-- ''Bash.Org''
645
646->''I think they have destroy the game just with the Bo; i hate japenese music, [[FacePalm it was a bad choice to give this project to a japenese i think]]''
647-->-- '''Teranovadra's''' reaction to the [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5esLkkJaeZk&feature=related final stage]] of ''VideoGame/ChildOfEden''
648
649->'''Chris:''' This, by the way, is one of my favorite things about this era: Batman has a hidden panel in his house, he hides the switch to open it, he says all the time that if his identity were revealed, it would compromise his effectiveness as a crimefighter... but he keeps the Bat-Phone just straight up sitting on his desk.\
650'''David''': Well, it’s plausible that he just likes red phones! In serving trays!
651-->-- '''Chris Sims''' and '''David Uzumeri''' [[http://comicsalliance.com/batman-1966-review-2/ on]] ''Film/BatmanTheMovie''
652
653->''The fans' chants of “BORING” have now turned to “[[Wrestling/VinceRusso Fire Russo!]]” Funny backstory there: following this encounter, [[Wrestling/{{TNA}} Dixie Carter]] did an interview saying [[FanDumb how dumb the fans]] were since [[{{Misblamed}} Russo didn’t even book this]]. She did not follow up by saying how stupid she herself was for putting on such a match that had fans chanting for someone to be on the unemployment line.''
654-->-- '''{{Website/Wrestlecrap}}''', ''[[http://www.wrestlecrap.com/inductions/six-sides-of-blindfolded-steelthe-most-brutal-blindfold-match-ever/ "Six Sides of Blindfolded Steel"]]''
655
656->'''skeletonpart:''' during an accident as a child a small boy broke his arms and was then exposed to ''xrays'' these rays revealed that the boy was in fact ''part man,'' '''''part skeleton'''''\
657'''magehenry:''' ''..what?''\
658'''skeletonpart:''' '''''the SKELETON MAN'''''
659-->-- ''Website/{{Tumblr}}'', given a DramaticReading [[http://kuueater.tumblr.com/post/82899790379 here]]
660
661->'''Michael Vick''': Do you know how hard it is to quit cold turkey? Which reminds me, I've also been waterboarding turkeys.\
662'''Roger Goodell''': Dammit Michael! How am I supposed to defend that to PETA? Do you have any idea how that sounds?\
663'''Michael Vick''': Yeah, it's kind of a "gobble-gobble, glub-glub-glub" sound.\
664'''Roger Goodell''' (''double {{facepalm}}'')
665-->-- Website/NFLQuarterbacksOnFacebook: [[http://profootballmock.com/nfl-qbs-on-facebook-free-agency-edition/ Free Agency Edition]]
666
667->''I own a computer store. One day, two policemen came into the store and told that they owned a 486 and a 286. They asked if a 486 and a 286 could be assembled together into a 686. I replied to the dumb request by asking them if two 200 horsepower police cars can be used to make up a 400 horsepower Ferrari. The policemen didn't get it and replied angrily that altering car engines is strictly forbidden by law.''
668-->-- ''rinkworks.com'', "Computer Stupidities"''
669
670->''Anonymous'' asked: environmental racism isn't a thing. God how can people be so stupid. Plants don't have fucking opinions.\
671''embod1ment'' answered: I’m … legitimately blown away that you think environmental racism is about the marginalization of plants.
672-->-- ''[[https://embod1ment.tumblr.com/post/163064771474/environmental-racism-isnt-a-thing-god-how-can Marginalization of plants]]''
673
674->'''Report On Reports Sees Too Many Reports:'''\
675''Project took 668 Pages, 18 months; more study is due, agency head says.''
676-->-- from an Associated Press wire story, reproduced [[http://www.11points.com/News-Politics/11_Most_Painfully_Obvious_Newspaper_Articles_Ever here]]''
677[[/folder]]
678
679[[folder:Web Video]]
680->''[[SarcasmMode The first step to ending racism is obvious…]] to ban'' TabletopGame/MagicTheGathering ''cards. Wizards of the Coast has taken brave steps to ban seven cards from their game, which depict some of the worst things in history. The Crusades, imprisonment… [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking and gypsies.]] The most notable banning, of course, being "Invoke Prejudice", which- Oh, wow. (cut to close up of the card’s art, which features figures in robes and Ku Klux Klan-esque masks, with one of them wielding a giant axe) Okay, yeah, uh… If you’re a white player playing with this card, well, the problem is kinda obvious… it costs 4 blue mana, and if you’re splashing white in a blue deck, well, I know you’re privileged. Dual lands, you rich bitch!''
681-->-- '''SAMTIME''', [[https://youtu.be/WJM6nWsMROE "How To End Racism"]]
682
683->'''Luigi:''' ''[scoff]'' What are we gonna do?\
684'''Mario:''' Hmm, I don't know, Bowser, the ruler of his own ''castle'', just stole the princess. [[SarcasmMode Wherever could he be?]]\
685'''Luigi:''' Hmm. Maybe he's in Canada. I like Canada.\
686'''Mario:''' ''[slamming Luigi into a wall]'' No, Luigi, we're going to Bowser's Castle!
687-->-- ''WebVideo/StacheBros'', "Mario & Luigi! Stache Bros - Episode 2-1 - The Typical Mario Beginning"
688
689->'''Waluigi:''' I guess Bowser's back home early? ''[grunt]''\
690'''Wario:''' ''[grunts, then notices Bowser Jr. in the window]'' Whoa! Hmm, I don't think so. Look up there. I think we just got scammed by a kindeygartner.\
691'''Waluigi:''' Am I supposed to be impressed? [[BookDumb I only have a preschool education!]] This is normal! Kindergartners are like Einstein to me! Uh...that's a smart guy, right? Did I speak well?
692-->-- ''WebVideo/StacheBros'', "Home Alone"
693
694->'''Goku:''' Ah- [he's] a ''Yoshi.''\
695'''Piccolo:''' (''offscreen'') I'm not a goddamn Yoshi!\
696'''Goku:''' But you said you were!\
697'''Piccolo:''' (''offscreen'') It's called ''{{sarcasm|Mode}}!''\
698'''Goku:''' What's ''that'' taste like?\
699'''Piccolo:''' (''offscreen'') ''DAMMIT Goku!!''
700-->-- '''WebVideo/DragonBallZAbridged''' Episode 2, where Goku and Piccolo fight Raditz.
701
702->''"The company I'm building is called wash-email-chine. You know how hard it is to get quarters at a laundromat? Well for a monthly fee we mail you a washing machine with the quarters already inside it so you can just wash your clothes then send it back with the provided envelope."''
703-->-- ''WebVideo/YouSuckAtCooking: Modified Ramen''
704
705->'''Dio:''' Well, not to worry. After all, we did just catch [[FrameUp the culprits]]...\
706'''Cloud:''' Culprits? Pretty sure this was done by one guy-\
707'''Cait Sith:''' He means us, Cloud.
708-->-- ''WebAnimation/FinalFantasyVIIMachinabridged''
709[[/folder]]
710
711[[folder:Western Animation]]
712->'''Finn:''' We don't have a spaceskipper.\
713'''Jake:''' Also, Finn's your son.\
714'''Martin:''' ''What?'' No spaceskipper?
715-->-- ''WesternAnimation/AdventureTime'', "[[Recap/AdventureTimeS6E2EscapeFromTheCitadel Escape from the Citadel]]"
716
717->''[From the educational movie "Meat and You: Partners in Freedom"]''\
718'''Troy [=McClure=]:''' Come on Jimmy, let's take a peek at the killing floor.\
719'''[[LittleJimmy Jimmy:]]''' Oooohhh!\
720'''Troy [=McClure=]:''' Don't let the name throw you Jimmy! It's not really a floor, it's more of a steel grating that allows material to sluice through so it can be collected and exported.
721-->-- ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons''
722
723->'''Bart:''' Mom, you won't believe this, but something you said the other day really got through to me. ''[Menacingly]'' And now, I'm going to teach some kids from Shelbyville a lesson.\
724'''Marge:''' ''[Happy]'' I choose to take that literally.\
725'''Bart:''' Death to Shelbyville!\
726'''Homer:''' Yes, Bart's a tutor now. Tute on, son! Tute on!
727-->-- ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons''
728
729->'''Marge:''' The plant called and said if you don't come in tomorrow, don't bother coming in Monday.\
730'''Homer:''' Woo-hoo! A four day weekend!
731-->-- ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons'', "Lisa's Rival"
732
733->''"My Homer is not a Communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a Communist, but he is ''NOT'' a pornstar!"''
734-->-- '''Grandpa Abe Simpson''', ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons''
735
736->'''Chief Wiggum:''' ''[laughing]''\
737'''Ned:''' What do we have here, the long, flabby arm of the law!? The last case you got to the bottom of was a case of Mallomars!\
738'''Krusty:''' "Mallomars." Oh, that's goin' in the act!\
739'''Ned:''' Hohoh, yeah, the CLOWN! The only one of you buffoons who doesn't make me laugh! And as for you, ''[pointing at Lenny]'' I don't know you, but I'm sure you're a ''jerk''!\
740'''Lenny:''' Hey, I've only been here a few minutes! What's going on?\
741'''Ned:''' ''[to Moe]'' You ugly, hate-filled man!\
742'''Moe:''' Hey, hey, I may be ugly and hate-filled, but I... um... what was the third thing you said?\
743'''Ned:''' Homer... ''[[TranquilFury You are the worst human being I have ever met.]]''\
744'''Homer:''' ... ''[innocently]'' Hey, I got off pretty easy!
745-->-- ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons'', "Hurricane Neddy"
746
747->'''Mr. Krabs''': Neptune preserve [Sandy, who' just ripped off her diving suit]! \
748'''Squidward''': How long can she stay like that?\
749'''[=SpongeBob=]''': I don't know!\
750'''Patrick''': Sandy's a girl?
751-->-- ''WesternAnimation/SpongeBobSquarePants'', "Pressure"
752
753->'''Katara''': It says here, "[[AnOfferYouCantRefuse If you ever want to see your daughter again, bring 500 gold pieces to the Arena]]." It's signed Xin Fu and The Boulder.\
754'''Sokka''': I can't believe it. ''[[FanBoy I HAVE THE BOULDER'S AUTOGRAPH]]!!''
755-->-- ''WesternAnimation/AvatarTheLastAirbender''
756
757->'''Gumball''': It's a safe, Darwin! It's full of money! And what do bald people need more of?\
758'''Darwin''': Friends?\
759'''Gumball''': Yes! And what do you buy friends with?\
760'''Darwin''': Uhhhhh...\
761'''Gumball''': With money!
762-->-- ''WesternAnimation/TheAmazingWorldOfGumball, Recap/TheAmazingWorldOfGumballS1E8TheSpoon''
763
764->'''Peter:''' Well from this day forward, I, Peter Griffin, will never drink again.\
765'''Brian:''' Peter, what are you doing?\
766'''Peter:''' Crack.
767-->-- ''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy''
768
769->'''Stationmaster's wife''': ''[After Thomas crashes into the stationmaster's house]'' You miserable engine! Just look what you done to our breakfast! Now I have to cook some more!
770-->-- ''WesternAnimation/ThomasAndFriends, "Thomas Comes To Breakfast"''
771
772->'''Duck:''' ''[after crashing into a barber shop]'' Beg pardon, sir. Excuse my intrusion.\
773'''The Barber:''' No, I won't! You've frightened my customers! I'll teach you! ''[lather Duck's face with shaving cream]''
774-->-- ''WesternAnimation/ThomasAndFriends, "A Close Shave"''
775
776->'''Confucius''': Never belch before a lady.\
777'''Froggo''': Sorry! I didn't know it was her turn.
778-->-- ''WesternAnimation/{{Histeria}}!''
779
780->'''Luigi:''' [[LongerThanLifeSentence 200 years [in prison]]]!? What're we gonna do!?\
781'''Mario:''' Don't worry, because I doubt we're gonna live 200 years, Luigi!
782-->-- ''Series/TheSuperMarioBrosSuperShow''
783
784->'''Mr. Blik''': ''[having landed on the moon, points outside]'' Look!\
785'''Waffle''': ''[gasps]'' A finger!
786-->-- ''WesternAnimation/{{Catscratch}}''
787
788->'''Fanboy:''' Bubble gum, bubble gum, in a dish. How many pieces do you wish? ''[stops on Kyle]''\
789'''Kyle:''' Gum? None for me, thank you. My orthodontist strictly forbids it.\
790'''Chum Chum:''' Kyle, for the last time! [[LiteralMinded It's NOT actual gum!]] It's just how we pick who's it in freeze tag!
791-->-- ''WesternAnimation/FanboyAndChumChum'', "Freeze Tag"
792
793->'''Chum Chum:''' I really liked that part where we celebrated in the parking lot. ...The rest is a little foggy, though.\
794'''Kyle:''' "Foggy"?! We danced with ''death!'' I shall carry a mental picture of this horror forever!\
795'''Chum Chum:''' [[LiteralMinded Pictures?]] Ooh! Make sure you get doubles!
796-->-- ''WesternAnimation/FanboyAndChumChum'', "Fan vs. Wild"
797
798->'''Blossom''': Hey! Why shouldn't you put a toaster in a bathtub?\
799'''Man''': Well duh! You wouldn't be able to make toast in the kitchen.\
800'''Woman''': Yeah. You would have to go to the bathroom every time you wanted toast. What a waste of time.\
801'''Blossom''': Why shouldn't you put a toaster in a bathtub full of ''water''?\
802'''Old Man''': Because your toast would get soggy.
803-->-- ''WesternAnimation/ThePowerpuffGirls1998''
804
805->'''Peg''': "I know what to do if there's a mess?"
806->'''Cat''': "Cover it with leaves?"
807-->-- ''WesternAnimation/PegPlusCat'', "The Parade Problem"
808
809->'''Lincoln Loud''': ''(on a boy who Liam claims was forgotten and lives behind his barn)'' "Clyde! We can't end up like Marty Malach!"
810->'''Clyde [=McBride=]''': "Yeah, I don't wanna live behind Liam's barn! His chickens are mean!"
811-->-- ''WesternAnimation/TheLoudHouse'', "Out of the Picture"
812
813->'''Marge Simpson''': "He prefers the company of men."
814->'''Homer Simpson''': "Who doesn't?"
815-->-- ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons''
816
817->'''Peg''': "We know the heavier one has...?"
818->'''Cat''': "A cold? Hiccups?"
819->''(later)''
820->'''Peg''': "I'm friends with the best cat in the whole world!"
821->'''Cat''': "Puss in Boots?"
822-->-- ''WesternAnimation/PegPlusCat'', "The Cleopatra Problem"
823
824->'''Angelica Pickles''': "I am playing the most dangerous game of all."
825->'''Chuckie Finster''': "Musical chairs?"
826->'''Angelica''': "No, dummy! Love!"
827-->-- ''WesternAnimation/{{Rugrats}}'', "Angelica's in Love"
828
829->'''Cat''': "The chain is attached to the Bla--''(gets pulled away)''--eeaahhh!"
830->'''Peg''': "Not the Blaeeaahhh!"
831-->-- ''WesternAnimation/PegPlusCat'', "The Blabberwocky Problem"
832
833->'''Ms. Flamiel''': "When an apple fell from a tree and landed on Isaac Newton, what did it teach him?"
834->'''Wakko Warner''': "To sit someplace else?"
835->''(...)''
836->'''Ms. Flamiel''': "If you have ten cookies, and someone takes away half of them, what do they have?"
837->'''Dot Warner''': "A broken hand."
838->'''Ms. Flamiel''': "No!"
839->'''Dot''': "They would if they tried to take my cookies!"
840->'''Ms. Flamiel''': "They're not trying to take your cookies!"
841->'''Dot''': "But that's what you said."
842->'''Ms. Flamiel''': "That's not what I--- oh, forget it! Just forget it, all right?!"
843->'''Dot''': "All right."
844->'''Ms. Flamiel''': "Now, where was I?"
845->'''Dot''': "I dunno; you told me to forget."
846-->-- ''WesternAnimation/{{Animaniacs}}'', prelude to "Multiplication"
847
848->'''Kraang Prime''': ''BLOW UP REALITIES?!'' You've been trying to wipe out dimensions we've been trying to mutate for ''thousands of years?!'' '''''ARE YOU INSANE?!'''''\
849'''Kraang''': ...well, you did say "[[ExactWords Wipe out the Turtles at any cost]]"...\
850'''Kraang Prime''': ''This'' is why I banished you to [[WesternAnimation/TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles1987 two-dimensional Earth]] in the first place! BECAUSE YOU'RE AN IDIOT! ''A MORON!'' '''''A DINGLEBERRY!!'''''
851-->-- ''WesternAnimation/TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles2012''
852
853->''"As this shocking graph indicates, our water consumption has tripled in the last month. I notice Fry has been here for a month, so I'm appointing him head of a committee to find who's responsible."''
854-->-- '''Hermes''', ''WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}}'', "[[Recap/FuturamaS1E3IRoommate I, Roommate]]"
855
856->'''Professor:''' ''(gasps)'' It's an albino humping worm!\
857'''Fry:''' Why do they call it that?\
858''(the ship starts rocking back and forth)''\
859'''Professor:''' Because it doesn't have any pigment.
860-->--''WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}}'', "[[Recap/FuturamaS6E13TheFuturamaHolidaySpectacular The Futurama Holiday Spectacular]]"
861
862->'''Lincoln:''' I've got eyes on the package.\
863'''Clyde:''' Package? What about Lori's phone?\
864'''Lincoln:''' ''(FacePalm)''
865-->-- ''WesternAnimation/TheLoudHouse'', "Get the Message"
866
867->'''Nathan''': Mimsy, you didn't do what I told you.\
868'''Mimsy''': D'ahh, whattaya mean, boss? You said to swim in the water and to blow the [shark] whistle. I swam in the water, so now I'm gonna blow the whistle! ''[blows whistle]''\
869'''Intertitle text''': ''Mimsy was supposed to blow the shark whistle while still under the water. There appears to have been a fundamental misunderstanding.''
870-->-- ''WesternAnimation/SouthPark'', "[[Recap/SouthParkS14E7CrippledSummer Crippled Summer]]"
871[[/folder]]

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