Line #26 Quotes/CaptainObviousAesop


1	[[AC:Literature]]
2
3	->''"Sometimes an unpublished author will stake out a position that is shared by everyone else in the world and defend it as if he stood embattled and alone. As he stridently argues with what he seems to think of as a recalcitrant audience that it is bad to be unkind to animals, the reader balks and eventually rebels. Yes, you have a point -- but why are you shouting at ''us''?"''
4	-->-- ''Literature/HowNotToWriteANovel''
5
6	[[AC:Live-action TV]]
7
8	->''"The lesson here is obvious: Don't hold loaded guns in exploding rooms."''
9	-->-- '''The Narrator''', ''Series/MythBusters''
10
11	->''"You don't have to yell at us. Nobody is on the other side of this issue."''
12	-->-- '''Greendale Student''' to Britta in full SoapboxSadie mode, ''Series/{{Community}}''
13
14	->'''Michael:''' So, Chidi, just want to double check: how do ethical philosophers feel about murder?\
15	'''Chidi:''' It's frowned upon.
16	-->-- ''Series/TheGoodPlace'', "Derek"
17
18	[[AC:Music]]
19
20	->''"You have to admire the people who sing them; it takes a certain amount of courage to get up and come out in favor of the things everyone else in the audience is against. Like peace and justice and brotherhood and so on."''
21	-->-- '''Music/TomLehrer''' on {{protest song}}s, "The Folk Song Army", ''Music/ThatWasTheYearThatWas''
22
23	->''[[TitleDrop Dear]] Music/{{Moby}},''\
24	''[[TakeThat Having read your liner notes, I now violently oppose]]:''\
25	''Pain, death, famine,''\
26	''Disease, slaughter, war,''\
27	''Youth suicide, [[GreenAesop Pollution]],''\
28	''Hitting your finger with the hammer,''\
29	''Parking in disabled car-parks,''\
30	''The industrial-military complex,''\
31	''The death of innocent third-world people,''\
32	''Especially the children,''\
33	''(By the way I'd like to thank Mohammad and the Dalai Lama)''\
34	''[[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking Safari suits]],''\
35	'''''And stating the fucking obvious'''''.
36	-->-- '''[=TISM=]''', "Dear Moby"
37
38	->''"You shouldn't abstain from rape, just 'cause you know that I want you to.\
39	You shouldn't rape, 'cause rape is a fucked up thing to do.\
40	Pretty obvious, just don't fucking rape people. Didn't think I had to write that one down for you."''
41	-->-- '''Creator/BoBurnham''', "From God's Perspective"
42
43	[[AC:Web Original]]
44	->''"The general feel of artsyness makes me think ''VideoGame/VelvetAssassin'' is trying to make a point, but I'm not sure what that point is. (Possibly that the Nazis were bad? Yeah, we figured ''that'' out around the Normandy Landings.)"''
45	-->-- '''WebAnimation/ZeroPunctuation'''
46
47	->''Stuff of Legends says we need fantasy because our lives are boring. Also, water is wet, fire is hot, cobras don't make good pets, and bears shit in the woods.''
48	-->-- '''{{Blog/Codiekitty}}'''
49
50	-> ''Forming groups against drinking and driving is like trying to legalize mayonnaise. Thanks for the effort; it’s a brave and noble goal, but someone’s already finished with it. And making whimsical slogans about something as a people we’ve already agreed on does nothing but make us feel lame. Look at it this way: Stabbing people in the eyeballs is against the law, but imagine if you drove by a bumper sticker that said, “If you want to touch the sky, keep all knives out of your neighbor’s eye!” It sort of implies that this club you’re in, the people who don’t stab eyeballs, is a bunch of fruitcakes. Don’t get me wrong, the people who stab eyeballs are still maniacs, but now they have, like, a cool, counter-cultural rogue thing to them.''
51	-->-- Creator/{{Seanbaby}}, ''The Wave'' magazine
52
53	[[AC:Web Video]]
54
55	->''"The lead child actor of the film is young Jenny who has fallen asleep reading ''Child Marriage Is a Crime''. I heard the alternate title for the book is ''Fucking'' '''''DUH!'''''"''
56	-->-- '''WebVideo/TheCinemaSnob''', [[http://youtu.be/TLD9U87b8qk?t=2m47s ''Child Bride'' review]]
57
58	->''"If there's any message that this movie is trying to get across, it's don't put kids in the middle of a violent shootout between FBI agents and terrorists for hire. I don't know how many movies we have to make before America gets that, but clearly we're not there yet."''
59	-->-- '''WebVideo/TheNostalgiaCritic''' in his review of ''Film/FaceOff''
60
61	->''"Really? Kids climbing in the dryer is such a national problem that they had to devote the entire end of an episode to that? You know what? Given the intelligence of the people who watched this show, this is probably a good thing to teach. Because my guess is that when they're not trying to operate heavy machinery with their '''BUTTCHEEKS''', they're probably trying to do something stupid like this."''
62	-->-- '''WebVideo/TheNostalgiaCritic''' in his review of ''WesternAnimation/AdventuresOfSonicTheHedgehog''
63
64	->''"This is a waste of the potentially realistic and interesting ways you could have taken this story. Instead of seriously exploring the problems with centralization or authorities like governments having control over your life, it settles for the much less deep question, "Would it be bad if the Illuminati hacked your grandmother's hip replacement and made her into a killing machine?" And the answer to that question, shockingly enough, is yeah! That would be quite bad!"''
65	-->-- '''WebVideo/HBomberGuy''', in his review of ''VideoGame/DeusExHumanRevolution''
66
67	->''"Domestic violence... is bad. ({{Beat}}) Bold statements only on this channel."''
68	-->-- '''WebVideo/InternetHistorian''', "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ROaj3bCpZEM Very Serious Business]]"

Context Quotes / CaptainObviousAesop