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1These are quotations of people being CaptainObvious. They are all stating things that are obvious.
2----
3
4[[foldercontrol]]
5
6[[folder:Anime and Manga]]
7->People die when they are killed.
8-->-- '''Shirou Emiya''', ''Anime/FateStayNight''
9
10->We're called the Elite Four because there's four of us!
11-->-- '''Nonon Jakuzure''', ''Anime/KillLaKill''
12
13->''I knew it!'' That sword... It's your weapon, isn't it?!
14-->-- '''Might Guy''', ''Manga/{{Naruto}}''
15
16->Lungs are vital for Hamon users.
17-->-- '''Joseph Joestar''', ''Manga/JojosBizarreAdventureBattleTendency''
18[[/folder]]
19
20[[folder:Comic Books]]
21->You are huge! That means you have huge guts!
22-->-- '''Doomguy''', ''ComicBook/{{Doom}}''
23
24->Now I'm radioactive! That can't be good!
25-->-- '''Doomguy''', ''ComicBook/{{Doom}}''
26
27->Now I'm in a completely different place!
28-->-- '''Doomguy''', ''ComicBook/{{Doom}}''
29
30->'''ComicBook/AnimalMan:''' You must be Robot-Man.\
31'''Robot-Man:''' And you must be the guy who states the obvious.
32-->-- ''ComicBook/DoomPatrol''
33
34->'''Crook:''' S-S-Supergirl!\
35'''ComicBook/{{Supergirl}}:''' Clever of you to notice!
36-->-- ''ComicBook/Supergirl1972'' #1
37
38->'''ComicBook/TheSpectre''': Still thrusting yourself into situations that are over your head, are you, Fatalist?\
39'''[[ComicBook/{{Supergirl}} Kara]]:''' (''tongue-in-cheek'') I think he's called "Fatalist".\
40'''Linda:''' Brilliant, Holmes.
41-->-- ''ComicBook/ManyHappyReturns''
42
43->'''ComicBook/{{Supergirl}}:''' Why my father's name was Zor-El, your father's brother!\
44'''ComicBook/{{Superman}}:''' Great Scott! Then you're my — cousin!
45-->-- ''Comicbook/TheSupergirlFromKrypton1959''
46
47->'''ComicBook/{{Supergirl}}:''' He tunneled down into... some kind of secret chamber.\
48'''Belinda:''' (''sarcastically'') Really? I would never have guessed.
49-->-- ''ComicBook/SupergirlCosmicAdventuresInThe8thGrade''
50
51->And, ComicBook/{{Superman}}... My greatest enemy... is you!
52-->-- '''ComicBook/LexLuthor''', ''ComicBook/SupermanVsTheAmazingSpiderMan''
53
54->'''Catherine Grant:''' ''"Well... That could've gone '''better'''."''\
55'''Supergirl:''' (raising one eyebrow) ''"You '''think'''?!"''
56-->-- ''ComicBook/DayOfTheDollmaker''
57
58->'''Lex Luthor:''' ''"Attention! This is Luthor speaking from Metropolis Prison via an electronic thought-projector which has cut into the transmission frequency of your tv hookup!"''\
59'''Man:''' ''"Lex Luthor!"''
60-->-- ''ComicBook/TheLeperFromKrypton''
61
62->'''Lex Luthor:''' ''"I don't believe there really is a Supergirl! My guess is that wise-guy Superman is hoaxing the underworld with a robot![...]"''\
63'''Goon:''' ''"A hoax!"''
64-->-- ''ComicBook/TheDeathOfLuthor''
65[[/folder]]
66
67[[folder:Fan Works]]
68->And he speaks; "I don't think those jewels belong to you." (''{{beat}}'') [[DeadpanSnarker I salute you, World's Greatest Detective!]]
69-->-- '''ComicBook/{{Catwoman}}''', ''Fanfic/CatTales''
70
71->If I kill you then you will die... If you die then you will be dead... If you're dead then you won't be alive... If you aren't alive you won't be able to breath and then you will die...
72-->-- '''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UUal-aTCL74&feature=PlayList&p=03389DC24AABE458&index=13 Rem]]''', ''[[WebVideo/DeathNoteTheAbridgedSeries1KidsEntertainment Death Note Abridged (1Kids Entertainment)]]''
73
74->'''Marine Officer:''' Ah, shit! Sir, I dinged your statue.\
75'''Capt. Morgan:''' [[SarcasmMode Thank you, Lieutenant Obvious.]]\
76'''Officer:''' Sir, it's Captain, sir.\
77'''Morgan:''' Yes, yes, I am.\
78'''Officer:''' Obvious, sir?\
79'''Morgan:''' Obviously I'm a captain.\
80'''Officer:''' Sir, I'm confused.\
81'''Morgan:''' Well you're definitely not cut out to be captain then, huh? (''beat'') Carry on, Lieutenant.\
82'''Officer:''' I'm a corporal.\
83'''Morgan:''' You would be!\
84'''Officer:''' Would be what, sir?\
85'''Morgan:''' (''raises his axe-hand'')\
86'''Officer:''' (''in his head'') WorthIt. (''cue Luffy distracting them both'')
87-->-- ''WebVideo/NonePiece''
88
89->'''Oracle:''' Gladiator, I must warn you of my vision. I have a sight that she will try to escape before we make planet. Be on your guard.\
90'''Gladiator:''' (''rolling eyes'') That I needed you to tell me? Thank you, Oracle.
91-->-- ''Fanfic/APrizeForThreeEmpires''
92
93->[[Series/BuffyTheVampireSlayer Buffy Summers]], in jeans, T-shirt, and bare feet, holding the wet cloth to her forehead by one hand, raised her upper body off the couch. "Kara?" she said, her eyes widening in recognition.\
94"It's me, Buffy," [[ComicBook/{{Supergirl}} Kara]] said with a smile. In a second, the Slayer girl and the Girl of Steel were in each other’s arms, hugging.\
95"Well," said Willow, noting that Giles had just entered the room, "I guess they do know each other, after all."\
96"Remarkably observant, Willow," noted Giles.
97-->-- ''Fanfic/TheVampireOfSteel''
98
99->'''Klavier''': So without him you have no job, no employment history, no home, and no car. This is bad.\
100'''Apollo''': [[LampshadeHanging Thanks very fucking much, Watson, I noticed that]]!
101-->-- ''Fanfic/DirtySympathy''
102[[/folder]]
103
104[[folder:Film -- Animated]]
105->'''Bruce Wayne:''' Welcome to the Batcave.
106->'''Jon Kent:''' ''({{Squee}})'' Look, that's the Batmobile! And the Batcomputer! And the Bat-dinosaur!
107->'''Damian Wayne:''' Who's the new kid? Obvious Boy?
108-->-- ''WesternAnimation/BatmanAndSupermanBattleOfTheSuperSons''
109
110->'''Ginger:''' You mean you never actually ''flew'' the plane?\
111'''Fowler:''' Good heavens, no! I'm a chicken! The Royal Air Force doesn't let chickens behind the controls of complex aircraft!
112-->-- ''WesternAnimation/ChickenRun''
113
114->What are you, president of the Obvious Club or something?
115-->--'''Father''', ''WesternAnimation/CodenameKidsNextDoor: WesternAnimation/OperationZERO''
116
117->'''Fry:''' Well, this is the end. There was so many things I wanted to say to you.\
118'''Leela:''' Like what?\
119'''Fry:''' Like this is not the end.
120-->-- ''WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}}: Into the Wild Green Yonder''
121
122->'''Robyn:''' (having just been transformed into a wolf) Something's happened to me!\
123'''Mebh:''' Yeah, I can see that.
124-->-- ''WesternAnimation/{{Wolfwalkers}}''
125[[/folder]]
126
127[[folder:Film -- Live-Action]]
128->You're going to commit suicide if it's the last thing you do!
129-->--'''Swami Talpur''', ''Film/AbbottAndCostelloMeetTheKillerBorisKarloff''
130
131->'''Nicole''': Buff, I don't see why we have to invite every single senior.\
132'''Buffy''': Because it's the senior dance. It's just a shot in the dark.
133-->--''Film/BuffyTheVampireSlayer''
134
135->'''George Noon''': He's dead!\
136'''James Humphrey''': Well no kidding he's dead! His brains are lying in the snow!
137-->--''Film/CannibalTheMusical''
138
139->'''Jericho Cane''': You're bleeding.\
140'''Bobby Chicago''': Of course I'm bleeding! You fucking shot me!
141-->--''Film/EndOfDays''
142
143->'''Kate Fuller''': Where are you taking us?\
144'''Richie Gecko''': Mexico.\
145'''Kate''': What's in Mexico?\
146'''Richie''': Mexicans.
147-->--''Film/FromDuskTillDawn''
148
149->That's a lot of fish.
150-->-- '''Dr. Tatopoulos''' beholding a pile of fish, ''Film/Godzilla1998''
151
152->'''Ciarán O'Shea''': What killed him, Jim?\
153'''Dr. Jim Gleeson''': The fact that he's just a head. You bring me someone with a head cold or a headache and I could do something, but you bring me just a head and you're taking the piss.
154-->--''Film/{{Grabbers}}''
155
156->'''Detective Robert Nock''': Can machines think?\
157'''UsefulNotes/AlanTuring''': Oh, so you've read some of my published works?\
158'''Nock''': What makes you say that?\
159'''Turing''': Oh, because I'm sitting in a police station, accused of entreating a young man to touch my penis, and you've just asked me if machines can think.
160-->--''Film/TheImitationGame''
161
162->It's... it's a dinosaur.
163-->--'''Alan Grant''', ''Film/JurassicPark''
164
165->'''Richmond Valentine''': Is he dead?\
166'''Gazelle''': That tends to happen when you shoot someone in the head.
167-->--''Film/KingsmanTheSecretService''
168
169->'''Aragorn:''' Not for ourselves. But we can give Frodo his chance if we keep Sauron's Eye fixed upon us. Keep him blind to all else that moves.\
170'''Legolas:''' A diversion!
171-->-- ''Film/TheLordOfTheRingsTheReturnOfTheKing''
172
173->'''Karen Smith''': Why are you dressed so scary?\
174'''Cady Heron''': It's Halloween.
175-->--''Film/MeanGirls''
176
177->''"Only through the elimination of violence can we achieve world peace."''
178-->--'''Mark''', ''Film/MiamiConnection''
179
180->'''Brandt''': Your line's not long enough!\
181'''Ethan Hunt''': No shit!
182-->-- ''Film/MissionImpossibleGhostProtocol''
183
184->''"We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives."''
185-->--'''Criswell''', ''Film/Plan9FromOuterSpace''
186
187->Inspector Clay is dead. Murdered... and somebody is responsible.
188-->-- '''Lt. John Harper''', ''Film/Plan9FromOuterSpace''
189
190->'''Reporter''': Are there any connections between the murders?\
191'''Det. Insp. Isaac Gissing''': Yes. They're all dead.
192-->--''Film/RawheadRex''
193
194->'''Inspector Lestrade''' (''seeing a midget in Lord Blackwood's coffin''): That's not Blackwood!\
195'''Holmes''': Now we have a firm grasp... of the obvious.
196-->-- ''Film/{{Sherlock Holmes|2009}}''
197
198-> '''Officer''': (after the ship's anti air turrets are destroyed) Sir, Resistance bombers approaching!\
199'''Captain Canady''': Of course they are!
200-->--''Franchise/StarWars Film/TheLastJedi''
201
202->It's a trap!
203-->-- '''Admiral Ackbar''', ''Franchise/StarWars: Film/ReturnOfTheJedi''
204
205->Sharks can only be found in two places on Earth: the Northern and Southern Hemispheres.
206-->-- '''Peter Gaulke''', ''Film/StrangeWilderness''
207
208->'''Douglas Quaid''': How did I get in this taxi?\
209'''Johnnycab''': The door opened. You got in.
210-->--''Film/TotalRecall1990''
211[[/folder]]
212
213[[folder:Literature]]
214->Getting dark now; always does at night.
215-->-- Dufflepuds, ''Literature/TheVoyageOfTheDawnTreader''
216
217->'''Dufflepud Chief:''' That's a spear, that is.\
218'''Dufflepuds:''' That it is, Chief, that it is. You couldn't have put it better.
219-->-- ''The Voyage of the Dawn Treader''
220
221->'''Dufflepud Chief:''' Visible we are. And what I say is, when chaps are visible, why, they can see one another.\
222'''Dufflepuds:''' Ah, there it is, Chief. There's the point. No one's go a clearer head than you. You couldn't have made it plainer.
223-->-- ''The Voyage of the Dawn Treader''
224
225->'''Tobble''': But your fur is golden, much finer than a wolf's coat. You can glide, like a flying squirrel. You have a pouch, like a marsupial. You have hands with thumbs, but doglike paws for feet. You stand erect, and you're a female.\
226'''Byx''': Thank you for stating the obvious.
227-->-- ''Literature/{{Endling}}''
228
229->"She managed to obtain a concealed weapons permit yesterday."\
230Oh shit. I gaze at him, blinking, and feel the blood draining from my face as I absorb this news. I may faint. Suppose she wants to kill him? No.\
231"That means she can just buy a gun," I whisper.
232-->-- ''Literature/FiftyShadesDarker''
233
234->'''Ron Weasley:''' You can't break an Unbreakable Vow.\
235'''Harry Potter:''' [[DeadpanSnarker I'd worked that much out for myself, funnily enough.]] What happens if you break it, then?\
236'''Ron:''' You die.
237-->-- ''Literature/HarryPotterAndTheHalfBloodPrince''
238
239->One of the things Ford Prefect had always found hardest to understand about humans was their habit of continually stating and repeating the very very obvious, as in "It's a nice day," or "You're very tall," or "Oh dear, you seem to have fallen down a thirty-foot well, are you all right?" At first Ford had formed a theory to account for this strange behaviour. If human beings don't keep exercising their lips, he thought, their mouths probably seize up. After a few months' consideration and observation he abandoned this theory in favour of a new one. If they don't keep exercising their lips, he thought, their brains start working. After a while he abandoned this one as well as being obstructively cynical and decided he quite liked human beings after all, but he always remained desperately worried about the terrible number of things they didn't know about.
240-->-- ''Literature/TheHitchhikersGuideToTheGalaxy1''
241
242->'''Goon:''' That's a dead dog.\
243'''Anton Chigurh:''' Yes, it is.
244-->-- ''Literature/NoCountryForOldMen''
245
246->Kryten ran his psi-scan over the dismembered skull.\
247Kochanski waded across. "Well?"\
248"It says 'organism incomplete.'"\
249"[[CrapolaTech What a truly remarkable machine]]," said Rimmer. "And it knows all that from just seeing a dismembered head. [[SarcasmMode Absolutely incredible]]."
250-->-- ''Literature/RedDwarf: Last Human''
251
252->I got that. I realised that myself. But now you've taken a moment of personal triumph and validation and you've ruined it by making it obvious.
253-->-- '''Vaurien Scapegrace''', ''[[Literature/SkulduggeryPleasant Last Stand of the Dead Men]]''
254
255->''Never attempt to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and annoys the pig.''
256-->--'''Lazarus Long''', ''Literature/TimeEnoughForLove''
257
258->''I didn't want to ask, but I did. "And which one did Juniper prefer? Or have you told her about it yet?"\
259Grover scowled. "I did. It was weird. She seemed... angry."\
260Oh, boy, I thought. "Why do you think that was?"\
261[...] "I'm not sure," he admitted. "I told her Blanche liked the prone pose more, but Blanche liked the light in the side pose, so--"\
262"How many times did you mention Blanche when you were talking to Juniper?" I asked.\
263Grover stared at me over the tops of his sunglasses, [[ComicallyMissingThePoint his bloodshot eyes completely lost]]. "It's- it's Blanche's photography."\
264"So a lot of times, then?"\
265Grover frowned. "You don't think... You think Juniper is ''jealous?''"\
266I imagined a chorus of Obvious Angels singing the Obvious Hymn above his head, but I tried to keep my expression neutral. "Could be?"''
267-->-- ''Literature/PercyJacksonAndTheOlympians: The Chalice of the Gods''
268[[/folder]]
269
270[[folder:Live-Action TV]]
271->'''Wesley:''' You haven't an enormous amount of time.\
272'''Xander:''' Hey it's Mr. States-the-Obvious.
273-->-- ''Series/BuffyTheVampireSlayer'', "Graduation Day, Part II"
274
275
276->'''Clare''': What's [Sister Michael] doing now?
277->'''James''': Reading her book.....now she's looking at the woman beside her.....now she's getting up.....now she's coming this way.....now she's standing right in front of us.....
278->'''Sister Michael''': What's he doing?
279->'''James''': Now she's--
280->'''Erin''': Stop talking, James.
281-->-- ''Series/DerryGirls'', "The Concert"
282
283
284->'''Brian:''' We're trapped.\
285'''The Doctor:''' [[LampshadeHanging Yes. Thanks for spelling it out.]]\
286(''approaching footsteps'')\
287'''Rory:''' Doctor, whatever's down there is coming this way.\
288'''The Doctor:''' [[DeadpanSnarker Spelling it out is hereditary.]] Wonderful.
289-->-- ''Series/DoctorWho''
290
291->'''Father Ted:''' We need something that will keep them away from the house something to distract them... but what?\
292'''[[TheDitz Father Dougal]]:''' A diversion! That's what it's called, a diversion!
293-->-- ''Series/FatherTed''
294
295->Can we get you on ''Series/{{Mastermind}}'', Sybil? Next contestant, Sybil Fawlty from Torquay. Specialist subject: the bleedin' obvious.
296-->-- '''Basil Fawlty''', ''Series/FawltyTowers''
297
298->(''the two are riding horses in the middle of a harsh blizzard'')\
299'''Thoros of Myr:''' Bad night to be outdoors...\
300'''Sandor Clegane:''' You've got ''real powerful'' magic to figure that out. [[SarcasmMode The Lord of Light whisper that in your ear?]] "It's snowing, Thoros, it's windy! It's gonna be a cooold night!"
301-->-- ''Series/GameOfThrones''
302
303->"End" – The series reaches its dramatic conclusion.
304-->-- Official synopsis of ''Series/TheGoodWife''[='s=] series finale
305
306->'''Don Calfari''': But I did not give the orders to wipe out the Spaldoni family. That is an order that I did not give.\
307'''Mobster''': Okay, Don Calfari. If you didn't give the order, then what does that mean?\
308'''Don Calfari''': That would mean someone had to give the order. Someone that was not me.
309-->-- ''Series/TheMiddleman'', "The Pilot Episode Sanction"
310
311->'''John:''' Fun? There's a woman lying dead!\
312'''Sherlock:''' Perfectly sound analysis, but I was hoping you'd go deeper.
313-->-- ''Series/{{Sherlock}}''
314
315->You must forgive Watson. He has an enthusiasm for stating the obvious which borders on mania.
316-->-- ''Series/{{Sherlock}}'', "The Abominable Bride"
317
318->People [in the twentieth century] feared dying. It terrified them.
319-->-- '''Dr. Beverly Crusher''', ''Series/StarTrekTheNextGeneration'', "[[Recap/StarTrekTheNextGenerationS1E25TheNeutralZone The Neutral Zone]]"
320
321->Why do doctors always say the obvious as though it were a revelation?
322-->-- '''Captain Jean-Luc Picard''', ''Series/StarTrekTheNextGeneration'', "[[Recap/StarTrekTheNextGenerationS1E8TheBattle The Battle]]"
323
324->[[ExaggeratedTrope That's air going into my lungs.]]
325-->-- '''Colin Mochrie''', ''Series/WhoseLineIsItAnyway''
326
327->'''John Travolta:''' "Chinese whore" doesn't rhyme with dog!\
328'''Alex Trebek:''' That's why it was a wrong answer.
329-->-- '''Celebrity Jeopardy''', ''Series/SaturdayNightLive''
330
331->'''Charles:''' Terry called him?! He's shaking Terry's hand! [[LampshadeHanging Now I'm just describing everything that's happening]]. What the hell's going on?!\
332'''Holt:''' I do not know.\
333'''Charles:''' Now Captain Holt doesn't know!
334-->-- ''Series/BrooklynNineNine'', "[[Recap/BrooklynNineNineS2E21DetDaveMajors Det. Dave Majors]]"
335
336->''[Each contestant in a completely dark room by themselves, with only objects highlighted with green glow-in-the-dark tape visible]''\
337'''Sally Phillips:''' ''[Reading]'' Paint the best rainbow scene.\
338'''Bob Mortimer:''' ''[Reading]'' You may not open the lab door until the task is complete.\
339'''Aisling Bea:''' ''[Reading]'' You have ten minutes. Your time starts now.\
340'''Nish Kumar:''' ''[In a tone of sudden dawning realisation:]'' ''OHHHHHHH...'' I can't see the '''''colours'''''!\
341''[Back in the studio; Nish has his head in his hands in embarrassment]''\
342'''Greg Davies:''' Very nice to have the tasks ''really'' spelled out.
343-->-- ''Series/{{Taskmaster}}''
344[[/folder]]
345
346[[folder:Music]]
347->This is a [candle][[note]]this is a placeholder/example[[/note]]
348-->-- '''Park Joon-hyeong''', in ''Gag Concert''
349
350->If the light is off, then it isn't on.
351-->-- '''Music/HilaryDuff''', "So Yesterday"
352[[/folder]]
353
354[[folder:Radio]]
355->'''Astra:''' Hello, Tidy. We're back!\
356'''[[RobotMaid Tidy]]:''' Why are humans programmed to state the obvious?
357-->-- ''Radio/{{Earthsearch}} II''
358[[/folder]]
359
360[[folder:Stand-Up Comedy]]
361->And so he brought forth a carrot. And said; "Behold this! For it is a carrot." And all about him knew that it was so. For it was orange. With a green top.
362-->-- '''Creator/RowanAtkinson''', "Amazing Jesus" sketch
363[[/folder]]
364
365[[folder:Video Games]]
366->[[MemeticMutation You're becoming hysterical.]]
367-->-- '''Working Joe''', ''VideoGame/AlienIsolation''
368
369->The best strategy for defeating enemies is to reduce their health to zero while maintaining your own health above zero.
370-->-- Loading Screen "hint," ''VideoGame/AssassinsCreedOdyssey''
371
372->Turns out, no one likes being cooked. Who knew?
373-->-- ''VideoGame/Borderlands3'' loading screen on [[ManOnFire flame damage]].
374
375->'''Grey Warden''': Thanks for stating the completely obvious, by the way.\
376'''Alistair''': No problem. It's nice to have a purpose.
377-->-- ''VideoGame/DragonAgeOrigins''
378
379->All toasters toast toast!
380-->-- '''Mario''', ''VideoGame/HotelMario''[[note]]To all of you who just went, "Toasters toast bread!" yes, that is true. They can also re-toast toast.[[/note]]
381
382->You can't love soccer with hate.
383-->-- '''Hibiki Seigou''', ''VideoGame/InazumaEleven''
384
385->'''Palutena:''' There's another treasure box.\
386'''Viridi:''' All hail the goddess of obvious.
387-->-- ''VideoGame/KidIcarusUprising''
388
389->Toxic waste is poisonous.
390-->-- Game tutorial tip, ''VideoGame/LegoBatman''
391
392->'''PR Woman''': [[ShapedLikeItself Thus, the scheduling department is where we decide what time we broadcast which program. I suppose you could say it's the place where the scheduling is determined]].\
393'''Ann''': [[LampshadeHanging Could this get any more obvious]]?
394-->-- ''VideoGame/Persona5''
395
396->We, Oboro's amazons, serve under Master Oboro.
397-->-- ''VideoGame/SamuraiShodown: Warriors Rage''
398
399->This is the "Lonely Statue" area. He looks lonely.
400-->-- An Omochao in Wild Canyon, ''VideoGame/SonicAdventure2''
401
402->Victory goes to the last one standing.
403-->-- '''The Narrator''', ''VideoGame/SoulSeries''
404
405->'''Starkiller:''' What the hell ''is'' this thing?!\
406'''Rahm Kota:''' I have ''no'' idea. But it's ''big.''\
407'''Starkiller:''' [[SarcasmMode That's perceptive, for a blind man.]] ''Now how do I kill it?!''
408-->-- ''Franchise/StarWars: VideoGame/TheForceUnleashed II,'' as Starkiller is facing off against [[AttackOfTheFiftyFootWhatever the Gorog.]]
409
410->'''Darth Baras:''' ''[[VillainousBreakdown RAAAAAAGH! I cannot break him!]]''\
411'''Sith Warrior:''' Is there some problem here?\
412'''Darth Baras:''' Who would ask such a stupid question?! ''Clearly'', there's a problem here!\
413(''or...'')\
414'''Sith Warrior:''' I feel your anger, master.\
415'''Darth Baras:''' A blind, deaf, comatose lobotomy patient could ''feel my anger!''
416-->-- ''Videogame/StarWarsTheOldRepublic'', as Darth Baras [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qxhaN-IB1Qs loses his patience]]
417
418->And the floor boards were buckling and creaking and breaking and pieces of their ship were raining down like shards of broken dreams. And then Reginald comes upstairs and he's all like "I say gentlemen, I do believe we're in quite a spot of bother!" And everyone else was like "REALLY? WHAT TIPPED YOU OFF, GENIUS?" And then Hatty was all like "HEEEY, BE NICE!"
419-->-- '''Narrator''', ''VideoGame/BattleBlockTheater: The Story Begins''
420[[/folder]]
421
422[[folder:Visual Novels]]
423->Call it stupid, but my first instinct is to point it out somehow. Maybe ask her if she's okay. Because, you know. She's got a bandage over her right eye. What if she hadn't noticed? Luckily, I think better of it before I can open my mouth.
424-->-- '''Erik''', ''VisualNovel/MissingStars''
425
426->Y...Yeah, you're right. You're on the disciplinary committee, and the disciplinary committee disciplines people.
427-->--'''Seina Maki''', ''VisualNovel/KindredSpiritsOnTheRoof''
428[[/folder]]
429
430[[folder:Web Animation]]
431->Hey, he just stopped at that house over there! Hey, I just stated the obvious! Oh look, a chair!
432-->--'''Tom''', ''WebAnimation/{{Eddsworld}}''
433
434->'''[[VideoGame/Persona3 Mitsuru]]:''' You cannot move after you've been shocked.\
435'''Calliope:''' Yeah, I can tell.
436-->-- ''WebAnimation/{{hololive}}''
437
438->'''Simmons''': Sarge, we need to get Donut air-lifted outta here.\
439'''Sarge''': Could you put that in a memo, and entitle it "Shit I already know!"
440-->-- ''WebAnimation/RedVsBlue''
441
442->'''Sonic:''' Uh, I'm guessing this guy is Andross?\
443'''Peppy:''' That's him! Aim for his face!\
444'''Sonic:''' Great advice, dipshit.
445-->-- ''WebAnimation/SonicForHire''
446
447->'''Kevin:''' K-k-kids, why is he following you?\
448'''Skid:''' I don't know. He's been following us.
449-->-- ''WebAnimation/SpookyMonth''
450
451->From Adam's stern expression, constant swearing, and repeated kicks to my face and stomach, I realized he must have been a bit upset about something.
452-->-- '''Yahtzee''' parodying Samus's tendency to state the obvious in ''VideoGame/MetroidOtherM'', ''WebAnimation/ZeroPunctuation''
453
454->"This area is quite verdant." "We are on a path." "We could get a good view from the top of that tower." I know we could, asshole. Do you know how I know? Because I was just on the top of that tower. ''And so were you.''
455-->-- '''Yahtzee''' on ''VideoGame/DragonsDogma'', ''WebAnimation/ZeroPunctuation''
456[[/folder]]
457
458[[folder:Webcomics]]
459->''"Use your weapons! They are designed to inflict damage!"''
460-->-- '''Red Mage''', ''Webcomic/EightBitTheater''
461
462->''"I have come to know much about squirrels. Were you aware that they eat nuts?"''
463-->-- '''Noah''', ''WebComic/ElGoonishShive'', "[[https://www.egscomics.com/comic/2011-12-12 Death Sentence]]"
464
465->''"Figure that bit out by yourself or did you have a 7-year-old help you?"''
466-->-- '''Maxima''', ''Webcomic/GrrlPower''
467
468->'''Chie:''' Hey, there's a noose here!\
469'''Narrator/Protagonist:''' Spooky. Your thoughts, Yosuke?\
470'''Yosuke:''' Nooses are bad.\
471'''Narrator/Protagonist:''' Super!
472-->-- ''Webcomic/{{Hiimdaisy}}'', "The Big Long VideoGame/{{Persona 4}} Comic"
473
474->'''Dojima''': Two bodies hanging from a telephone pole... and we don't even know if this is a homicide case yet. [...] We've got no clues about the perp. We don't even have a ''sus'' because the ''sec'' with a ''mo's'' got a ''perf al''.\
475[...]\
476'''Adachi''': Um, so what do we know about the case so far?\
477'''Dojima''': The perp is ''probably'' in Inaba.\
478''Ace ☆ DETECTIVE''
479-->-- ''Webcomic/{{Hiimdaisy}}'', "The Big Long VideoGame/{{Persona 4}} Comic"''
480[[/folder]]
481
482[[folder:''The Way of the Metagamer'']]
483Yes, ''Webcomic/TheWayOfTheMetagamer'' gets its own folder, it has a character ''named'' Captain Obvious.\
484
485->I am Captain Obvious. I am standing on the ground and [[BroughtToYouByTheLetterS wearing a cape which is red and says CO on it]] in big letters.
486-->-- '''Captain Obvious''', [[http://wayofthemetagamer.thecomicseries.com/comics/30/ #30]]
487
488->[[EvilLaugh AH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!]] Mine is an evil laugh! I am standing on the ground wearing a cape which is a red cape and a hat which is also red. You cannot see any of this because I am masked as a silhouette for dramatic tension!\
489(''two panels later'')\
490I am now fully visible, except for a really cool-looking shadow! I have a cape. It is red and says CO on it. I have a hat, which is also red. [[TheReveal I am going to destroy you all now.]]
491-->-- '''Captain Obvious''', [[http://wayofthemetagamer.thecomicseries.com/comics/50/ #50]]
492
493->'''Captain Obvious''': I have an [[GoodHairEvilHair evil goatee]] and [[RuleOfThree a cape which is red and says CO on it]]. The goatee is yellow. I also have hair sticking up on either side which is also evil and yellow. I will destroy you all now. [[CallingYourAttacks Magic Spell Which I Am Currently Casting That Includes Both Verbal And Somatic Components But Not Material Components!]]\
494'''Fred''': What exactly does that spell actually DO?\
495'''Captain Obvious''': Magic Spell Which I Am Currently Casting That Includes Both Verbal And Somatic Components But Not Material Components is a magic spell. It is magic. It includes both verbal and somatic components. Magic is magical. Magical things are magic. There are lots of useful magic spells.\
496'''Jane''': Hold Person is the magic spell which I am casting, which is Hold Person! Hold Person is a magic spell. Magic spells are magic. [[VancianMagic I had to prepare Hold Person this morning in order to now cast it!]] {{Take that}}!
497-->-- [[http://wayofthemetagamer.thecomicseries.com/comics/52/ #52]]
498
499->Your feeble spell cannot hold Captain Obvious, who has a cape which is red that says CO on it and a goatee which is evil and yellow! Also, the goatee is evil! And the cape is red! Goatee is yellow! [...] Even the power of metamagic is not enough to stop Captain Obvious. You are doomed. [[ViewersAreGoldfish I have a cape which is red and says CO on it. I also have a goatee which is evil and yellow. And a cape which is red and says CO on it. And a goatee which is evil and yellow. The evil goatee is yellow.]]
500-->-- '''Captain Obvious''', [[http://wayofthemetagamer.thecomicseries.com/comics/53/ #53]]
501
502->That's IT! I have angry, inward-angled eyebrows! [[BreadEggsBreadedEggs And a goatee which is yellow and evil]]! [[InvertedTrope And evil! And yellow!]] And a cape which is red and says CO on it! Magic Spell Which Also Requires A Ranged Touch Attack [[NarratingTheObvious As Evidenced By The Fact]] That [[GivingSomeoneThePointerFinger I Am Pointing At My Target]] While Casting The Magic Spell Which Is Magical And By The Way This Spell Also Has Verbal And Somatic Components!
503-->-- '''Captain Obvious''', [[http://wayofthemetagamer.thecomicseries.com/comics/54/ #54]]
504
505->'''Jane''': [[LampshadeHanging Captain Obvious apparently can't cast any spells that aren't entirely obvious.]] We should be able to escape pretty easily. I saw a window...\
506'''Captain Obvious''': As you can tell [[IdeaBulb from the lantern hovering above my head]] which has a goatee which is evil and yellow, I have figured out how to defeat you! [[RefugeInAudacity I have a cape which is red and says CO on it!]]\
507[...]\
508'''Captain Obvious''': I am holding a wooden sign! It is made of wood. There is writing on the sign. Destruction is the magic spell I am casting, which is a magic spell and is magical!\
509(''[[TalkingWithSigns the sign says the exact same thing.]]'')\
510'''Jane''': Counterspell.\
511'''Captain Obvious:''' (''holds up a different sign'') Disintegrate is the magic spell I am casting, which is a magic spell and is magical!\
512'''Jane''': Counterspell.\
513'''Captain Obvious:''' (''[[RuleOfThree holds up a third sign]]'') Enervation is magic spell I am casting, which is a magic spell and is magical!\
514'''Jane''': Counterspell.\
515'''Captain Obvious:''' (''[[OverlyLongGag holds up yet another sign]]'') Meteor Swarm is the magic spell I am casting, which is a magic spell and is magical!\
516'''Jane''': Counterspell.\
517'''Captain Obvious''': How can you tell so consistently which spell I'm casting? [[RPGMechanicsVerse Surely you'll roll a natural 1 on Spellcraft eventually!]]\
518'''Jane''': [[DeadpanSnarker Holding up the spell's name on a big sign provides a +20 bonus, believe it or not.]]
519-->-- [[http://wayofthemetagamer.thecomicseries.com/comics/56/ #56]]
520
521->'''Captain Obvious:''' (''while lunging at his opponent'') I initiate a grapple attempt!\
522[...]\
523'''Captain Obvious''': I have succeeded on a melee touch attack, and am now grappling. I have a cape which is red and says CO on it. I am damaging my opponet as with an unarmed strike as detailed in the grapple rules!\
524'''Jane''': Since when does ''[[TabletopGame/DungeonsAndDragons D&D]]'' have grapple rules?\
525'''Captain Obvious''': ''D&D''[='s=] always had grapple rules. They're in the core rulebooks.\
526'''Jane''': Huh.\
527'''Jane''': My DM always said the grapple rules came in an extra sourcebook. And refused to purchase it. They've been core all this time?\
528'''Captain Obvious:''' (''while hiding sign behind his back'') Yep. [[ScrappyMechanic He may have been justified in not using them, though.]] (''brandishes sign'') Enervation is the magic spell I am casting, which is a magic spell and is magical! You can't counterspell since you're still in the prone position! I have a cape which is red and says CO on it!
529-->-- [[http://wayofthemetagamer.thecomicseries.com/comics/57/ #57]]
530
531->[[ToThePain Cringe as you receive 1d4 negative levels!]] HA HA HA HA HA! Mine is an evil laugh! I have a cape which is red and says CO on it, [[TalkingIsAFreeAction and also somehow enough time to gloat in the middle of casting an Instantaneous spell!]]
532-->-- '''Captain Obvious''', [[http://wayofthemetagamer.thecomicseries.com/comics/58/ #58]]
533
534->'''Captain Obvious''': I am about to cast [[FinishingMove Captain Obvious's Magical Spell Which Is An Epic-Level Spell And Is Epic]]. It is an epic-level spell. [[InfoDump To cast or create epic-level spells, one must take the Epic Spellcasting feat.]] I have a cape which is red and says CO on it. Now I will cast Captain Obvious's Magical Spell Which Is An Epic-Level Spell And Is Epic.\
535'''Bob''': Why are you telling us all this?\
536'''Captain Obvious''': Because it's obvious, naturally. Captain Obvious's Magical Spell Which Is An Epic-Level Spell And Is Epic!
537-->-- [[http://wayofthemetagamer.thecomicseries.com/comics/61 #61]]
538[[/folder]]
539
540[[folder:Web Original]]
541->You just don't lose the game anymore if you win, you know?
542-->-- '''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CwMuPPwG_5w&t=15m54s A_Seagull]]''', playing ''VideoGame/{{Overwatch}}''
543
544->'''Sombra''': We're PLUSHIES again!\
545'''Coffee Talk''': Thanks, Captain Obvious.\
546'''Sombra''': That's KING Obvious.
547-->-- ''Blog/AskKingSombra''
548
549->Joseph was rushed to the hospital where doctors discovered the 19 bullet-holes in his body. The attending physician later testified that Joseph was "probably in severe pain." Dr. Obvious likely went on to say that the red stuff pouring out of Joseph's body was "probably blood."
550-->-- ''Website/{{Cracked}}'', [[http://www.cracked.com/article_17573_7-fatal-injuries-that-people-somehow-survived.html "7 Fatal Injuries (That People Somehow Survived)"]]
551
552->It seems you have to defeat this one to win!
553-->-- '''[[VideoGame/Persona3 Fuuka Yamagishi]]''', [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6p0gGj5iATw "Gasp! The Enemy!"]]
554
555->Magma is not a water source. Dwarves can't drink it or supply it to their wounded.
556-->-- ''[[http://df.magmawiki.com/index.php/40d:Magma#Magma_compared_to_water The Dwarf Fortress Wiki]]''
557
558->'''Anastasia Steele''': What are butt plugs?\
559'''Voiceover''': It's a plug. For your butt.
560-->-- ''WebVideo/HonestTrailers'' on ''Film/FiftyShadesOfGrey''
561
562->'''Jon:''' Today, we're doing a video about birds!\
563'''Jacques:''' [[AC: How dare you say that to me? You know my mother was a bird.]]\
564'''Jon:''' Well, yes... yeah. Yeah, I'm... I'm aware.
565-->-- ''WebVideo/JonTron''
566
567->Water is wet, gotcha. Also, grass is green, the sun rises in the east and this game should not be played by anyone.
568-->-- [[http://retrovania-vgjunk.blogspot.com/2012/06/bad-cat-commodore-64.html VGJUNK review]] of ''Bad Cat'' for the Platform/{{Commodore 64}}
569
570->You see those things that look like time bombs? Oh yeah! Those are time bombs.
571-->-- A gem of advice from '''musclebomber2021''' about ''[[VideoGame/{{Bomberman}} Super]] Bummerman [[WebVideo/{{Retsupurae}} 2]]''
572
573->'''[[AnnoyingVideoGameHelper Roll:]]''' Mega Man, Mega Man! Come in! There's these [[EnergyWeapon big yellow beams]] that [[OneHitKill kill you]] if you-\
574'''Creator/{{Egoraptor}}:''' SHUT YOUR MOUTH, I don't need you!
575-->-- ''WebVideo/{{Sequelitis}}''
576
577->Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes. Together, WE CAN STOP THIS!
578-->-- A {{Memetic|Mutation}} phrase, [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Zm1hPbmzPw said by]] '''Big Man Tyrone'''
579
580->In reality, cats possess the ability to turn themselves right side up in mid-air if they should fall upside-down, known as the cat righting reflex. This enables them to land on their feet if dropped from sufficient height, about 30 cm (12 in).\
581Toast, being an inanimate object, lacks both the ability and the desire to right itself.
582-->-- ''Website/{{Wikipedia}}'', discussing the [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buttered_cat_paradox Buttered Cat Paradox]]
583
584->If you look closely, you can see <obvious fact>.
585-->-- Internet meme
586
587-> A Keeper of Common Knowledge offers their wisdom when you need it least. They are bursting with things no person could possibly not know, and it spills out at the slightest relevance. They might insert themselves into a discussion about pro wrestling only to explain it's fake. If you make eye contact with them at a buffet, they give conspiratorial advice, like how to pile the most expensive foods into little shrines honoring your victory over the restaurant. They interrupt movies to share arcane knowledge like how guns are quite noisy or hanging from a cliff makes your arms tired.
588-->--'''Creator/{{Seanbaby}}''', [[https://www.cracked.com/blog/the-5-stupidest-people-planet-are-all-donald-trump "The Five Stupidest People on the Planet"]]
589
590->'''Piccolo:''' So I take it you're the one who exterminated this entire city, then?\
591'''Imperfect Cell:''' Oh, no, no, that was another guy. His name was "Shit-Sherlock", first name "No".
592-->-- ''WebVideo/DragonBallZAbridged''
593[[/folder]]
594
595[[folder:Western Animation]]
596->'''Gi:''' It's a force field!\
597'''Zarm:''' No ''kidding,'' Sherlock.
598-->-- ''WesternAnimation/CaptainPlanet''
599
600->'''Stegmutt''': (''gasp'') You're a villain!\
601'''Quackerjack''': (''gasp'') [[DeadpanSnarker You're a genius!]]
602-->-- ''WesternAnimation/DarkwingDuck''
603
604->'''Leela:''' [[NarratingTheObvious The tracks lead here!]]\
605'''Fry:''' Thanks, Eagle Eye.
606-->-- ''WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}}'', ''The Honking''
607
608->'''Leela:''' Ow, fire hot!\
609'''Professor Farnsworth:''' Professy will help! (''gets burned'') Oh! Fire indeed hot!
610-->-- ''WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}}'' "The Day the Earth Stood Stupid"
611
612->'''Lute:''' They appear to have some kind of shield, sir!\
613'''Adam:''' Oh, really? I didn't see this [[SuddenlyShouting giant fucking shield in front of me, you dumb bitch! No shit!]]
614-->-- ''WesternAnimation/HazbinHotel'', "[[Recap/HazbinHotelS1E8TheShowMustGoOn The Show Must Go On]]"
615
616->'''Flash:''' Hey, that's a giant dinosaur.\
617'''Alfred:''' And I thought Batman was the detective.
618-->-- ''WesternAnimation/JusticeLeague''
619
620->See that Superdog, flying through the air?\
621He's got superpowers.
622-->-- Actual lyrics from the intro theme of ''WesternAnimation/KryptoTheSuperdog''
623
624->My eye! I'm not supposed to get pudding in it!
625-->-- '''Lenny''' after Homer hits him with pudding, ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons''
626
627->(''thousands of Confederacy starfighters stream past Yoda's window'')\
628'''Mace Windu:''' The city is under attack!\
629'''Yoda:''' Defend the city we must!
630-->-- ''WesternAnimation/StarWarsCloneWars''
631
632->'''Maul:''' So the only thing you can tell me is that I will find Jabba... at Jabba's Palace?
633-->-- ''WesternAnimation/StarWarsTheCloneWars''
634
635->'''{{Starscream}}:''' Surely, Lord Megatron, the Autobots are up to something.\
636(''the Decepticon leader hovers dangerously close to the seeker's face'')\
637'''Megatron:''' Really, Starscream?
638-->-- ''WesternAnimation/TransformersPrime'', "[[Recap/TransformersPrimeS1E5DarknessRisingPart5 Darkness Rising Part 5]]"
639[[/folder]]
640
641[[folder:Real Life]]
642->The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad.
643-->-- '''Creator/SalvadorDali''' (attributed)
644
645->Life is very important to Americans.
646-->-- '''Bob Dole'''
647
648->Hey, the offensive linemen are the biggest guys on the field, they're bigger than everybody else, and that's what makes them the biggest guys on the field.
649-->-- '''John Madden'''
650
651->Listen, the point of football is to hold your opponents to as few points as possible, while in turn your offense scores as many points as possible. If you can do those two things, you should win the game.
652-->-- ''also'' '''John Madden'''
653
654->[[AC:Offense and Defense Key To LA's First Win]]
655-->-- [[https://www.reddit.com/r/xfl/comments/f8wnjl/thats_kinda_the_point_of_football_right/ Headline to an article]] on the XFL
656
657->I am murdered.
658-->-- '''UsefulNotes/SpencerPerceval''' during his own assassination
659
660->''Em Economia, tudo o que não é óbvio, normalmente é besteira.''\
661(In Economics, everything that is not obvious, is usually bullcrap.)
662-->-- '''Mário Henrique Simonsen''', Brazilian economist
663
664->During the Peninsula War, I heard a Portuguese general address his troops before a battle with the words, "Remember men, you are Portuguese!"
665-->-- '''Arthur Wellesley, UsefulNotes/TheDukeOfWellington'''
666[[/folder]]
667

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