Line #5 Quotes/AllMenArePerverts


1	->'''Lana''': Stuporman...!! What do you think you're doing?\
2	'''Superman''': Hey, I saved your goofy kid's life, remember?!? So what say we do some "huffing" and "puffing" in earnest... huh...??!\
3	'''Lana''': I thought you were different from the other horny guys in this town!\
4	'''Superman''': I ''am!'' I'm ''SUPER horny!''
5	-->--Magazine/{{MAD}}'s parody of ''Film/SupermanIII''
6
7	-> '''Friend 2''': Well, what's the hurry?\
8	'''Friend 1''': There's a girl I want to meet there! ''What the fuck's your problem!?''
9	-->--Creator/AdamSandler's [[Recap/AdamSandlerS2E1JoiningTheCult Joining The Cult]]
10
11	-><+Radial> i think my mother knows i watch porn\
12	<+Radial> i can't tell...\
13	<Tsukari> Are you a male?\
14	<+Radial> i am\
15	<Tsukari> She knows.
16	-->--Bash.org [[http://www.bash.org/?606023 #606023]]
17
18	->Six months of all encompassing fantasies involving life-size cutouts of a Swedish bikini team and a turkey baster? How bad could that be?
19
20	->The condition is experienced by a very small portion of the population, and of those the vast majority are male. We'd like to pretend to be shocked by that fact, but really who are we kidding?
21	-->--Website/{{Cracked}} on paraphilia, one of [[http://www.cracked.com/article_17503_5-bizarre-sexual-conditions-that-can-ruin-your-life_p2.html 5 Bizarre Sexual Conditions That Can Ruin Your Life]]
22
23	->Women say they have sexual thoughts too. They have no idea. If they knew what we were really thinking, they'd never stop slapping us.
24	-->--'''Larry Miller'''
25
26	->''"Its funny how a man only thinks about the [[SoundEffectBleep BEEP]]. You got a real big heart but I'm looking at ya BEEP. You got real big brains but I'm looking at ya BEEP. Girl it ain't no pain me looking at ya BEEP."''
27	-->--'''Music/PussycatDolls ft. [[Music/TheBlackEyedPeas will.i.am]]''', "Beep"
28
29	->If a man could fuck a woman in a cardboard box, he wouldn't buy a house.
30	-->--'''Creator/DaveChappelle'''
31
32	->''"Not matter what, all men are wolves."''
33	-->--'''Danbei Makiba''', ''Anime/UFORoboGrendizer''
34
35	->It's true. Guys don't need a relationship as long as they're having sex.\
36	And [[AllWomenArePrudes women don't need sex]]... as long as they're having chocolate!
37	-->--Comedian '''Glen Foster'''
38
39	->'''Girl''': I could never go out with a guy who looks at porn.\
40	'''Slick''': Have fun being a lesbian.
41	-->-- ''Webcomic/{{Sinfest}}''
42
43	->'''Talbot''': You don't understand. Every night when the moon is full, I turn into a wolf!\
44	'''Wilbur''': You and twenty million other guys!
45	-->-- ''Film/AbbottAndCostelloMeetFrankenstein''
46
47	->''"Oh come on. [[[VideoGame/MetalGearSolid3SnakeEater Jack]] and Chuck] are two guys somewhere between 27 and 50 who are in Vegas. How could we NOT go to a Strip Bar at least once?"''
48	-->-- '''Chuck''', ''Roleplay/WeAreOurAvatars''
49
50	->'''Max:''' How am I doing?
51	->'''Tavi:''' Stop looking down Lady Erusmus's bodice.
52	->'''Max:''' I did not!
53	->'''Tavi:''' Yes you did. Stop it.
54	->'''Max:''' Tavi, I'm a young man. [[ImAManICantHelpIt Some things just aren't in my control]].
55	-->--''Literature/CodexAlera'' Book Two, ''Academ's Fury''
56
57	->''"You men! You filthy, dirty pigs! You're all the same, all of you. Pigs! Pigs!"\
58	Dr. Macphail gasped. He understood.''
59	-->-- "[[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rain_(short_story) Rain]]" by Creator/WSomersetMaugham, final lines
60
61	->''"A man is basically as faithful as his options."''
62	-->--'''Creator/ChrisRock''', ''Bigger and Blacker''
63
64	->'''Garrus:''' So, Liara - is this the T'Soni-Shepard love nest? Hope we aren't interrupting anything you two might've been...''planning.''
65	->'''Liara:''' Whatever the species, males never change, do they?
66	->'''Samara:''' Perhaps it's a good thing [[OneGenderRace we asari don't have any.]]
67	->'''Traynor:''' Ha! [[LipstickLesbian Not my problem.]]
68	-->--''VideoGame/MassEffect3''
69
70	->'''Yoshihisa Manabe''': ([[FreakOut overly reacting]]) ''"[[DirtyMindReading Not being able to think dirty thoughts]] is torture for a guy!"''
71	->'''Haruka Kotoura''': ''"You're... not scared?"''
72	->'''Yoshihisa Manabe''': ''"Sure I'm scared! You're going to treat me like a total pervert!"''
73	-->--''Manga/KotouraSan'' episode 1, after Manabe confirmed Haruka is a {{Telepath\|y}}.
74
75	->'''Nine:''' ''"Listen, Celica. I'm going to explain this to you one more time. Any man who acts nicely around a cute and innocent little girl like you probably has one thing on their mind. And this pathetic excuse for a man is no exception. It would be best for society if I just took him out of the gene pool right here."''
76	->'''Bloodedge:''' ''"You can't just say whatever the hell you want about me! Keep that up and I'll make you pay for it!"''
77	->'''Nine:''' ''"A punk like you would have problems with the truth!"''
78	-->--'''Nine''' and Bloodedge's first meeting, ''VideoGame/{{Blazblue}}''
79
80	->'''Kate Beckett:''' Ahem. What's the deal with men and boobs, anyway?\
81	'''Rick Castle:''' Biological. We can't help it.\
82	'''Beckett:''' But doesn't it bother you that they're so obviously not real?\
83	'''Castle:''' Santa's not real. We still love opening his presents.
84	-->-- "A Death in the Family", ''Series/{{Castle\|2009}}''
85
86	->'''[[CorruptCorporateExecutive Maven]]''': [[ReallyGetsAround Haelga]], I like you, so I'm only going to say this one time. If you ever try and "[[DoubleEntendre practice the Dibellan arts]]" with [[SpoiledBrat Hemming]] again, I'll make sure that pretty little face loses its beauty.\
87	'''Haelga''': He wasn't protesting, Maven.\
88	'''Maven''': Of course he wasn't, you stupid whore; he's a ''man''.
89	-->--''VideoGame/TheElderScrollsVSkyrim''
90
91	->[[AllWomenAreLustful Women are pretty equal with guys,]] but need to have love and tenderness to go with it. Of course we want sex sometimes, you know just one night stands and flings can be just as good for us as they can be for guys, some of the time. I think we go a little deeper than guys can.
92	-->--'''Cindy Margolis'''
93
94	->'''Londo Mollari:''' Gentlemen, of all things in life, are females not the finest?\
95	'''G'Kar:''' On that, Mollari, we can at least agree.
96	-->-- "[[Recap/BabylonFiveS01E03BornToThePurple Born to the Purple]]", ''Series/BabylonFive''
97
98	->''"Women, you '''get''' to have sexual thoughts. I '''have''' to have them."''
99	-->-- '''Creator/LouisCK''', ''Live at the Beacon Theater''
100
101	->What more does a young man want than the knowledge that women desire him and that he is able to obtain the object of his desire?
102	-->-- Essay ''[[http://www.inquiriesjournal.com/articles/151/the-white-feather-campaign-a-struggle-with-masculinity-during-world-war-i The White Feather Campaign]]'''s reasoning as to why [=WW1=] was fought
103
104	->Lolis! Moe! Pretty Girls!! What men covet, what men dream about!! It's like an unreachable Garden of Eden!! Even then, you'd still reach for it, wouldn't you?! That's because our passionate soul screams for moe!
105	-->--'''Keiichi Maebara''', ''VisualNovel/HigurashiWhenTheyCry''
106
107	->Okay okay alright alright, hang, hang on guys. I mean, come on, this is getting a little ridiculous. Wizard aliens? We all know what's going on here, don't we? Whenever a story breaks about some rich famous guy going around and [[ThePornomancer having sex with tons of girls,]] [[SelectiveObliviousness we all wanna act like we don't understand it,]] but we do. [[ImAManICantHelpIt We're guys, you know? Our brains are wired to strive to be the alpha male and get all the women we can.]] I mean, look where we are. Even, even Creator/BenjaminFranklin screwed everything that moved. Because he could. We don't have to condone what these rich, famous people do, but... we can at least admit that, given the same temptations and opportunities that somebody like Tiger Woods has, a lot of us guys might do somethin' similar.
108	-->--'''[[OnlySaneMan SWAT Officer]]''', ''WesternAnimation/SouthPark'', ''Sexual Healing''
109
110	->Some guys that took me there asked me if I wanted to go to a topless club, and I didn't ''wanna'' go... I just ended up going, 'cause -- you guys can back me up on this -- you've seen one woman nekkid... you wanna see the rest of 'em nekkid. It could be an old biker chick, y'know, they're gonna hang down to here. ''[gestures around his stomach]'' "You wanna see mah titties?" Yeah, I do. ''[beat]'' All right, that's enough. Roll 'em back up, sweetheart.
111	-->-- '''Creator/RonWhite'''
112
113	->Ohhhhhhhhhh, I wish I'd been born a racehorse\
114	Because, I'll tell ya, that sounds like a pretty good go\
115	With a trainer and a 90-pound jockey\
116	Who would ride me for a minute or so\
117	Well, I'd win the daily double\
118	The trifecta and the exacter\
119	'Cause I know what a stud farm is\
120	And motivation would be a significant factor!
121	-->-- One of '''Red Green''''s campfire songs, ''Series/TheRedGreenShow''
122
123	->'''Hippolyta''': Here the true nature of men is laid bare. What other depraved thoughts must you be thinking?\
124	'''Steve Trevor''': under control of the Lasso of Truth God, your daughter's got a nice rack.
125	-->--''WesternAnimation/WonderWoman2009''
126
127	->'''Samson''': The oldest trick in the world. Silk trap, baited with a woman.\
128	'''Delilah''': You know a better bait, Samson? Men ''always'' respond.
129	-->--''Film/{{Samson and Delilah\|1949}}''
130
131	->''"There isn't a man in the world who would not share his secrets with some woman."''
132	-->-- '''Delilah''', ''Film/{{Samson and Delilah\|1949}}''
133
134	->''"These miniature cameras are an outrage! Spying on our women's dressing rooms, bathrooms, and locker rooms is unforgivable! I think I speak for all Springfielders when I say: 'Where is the sexy footage?!'"''
135	-->-- '''Mayor Quimby''', ''VideoGame/TheSimpsonsHitAndRun''
136
137	->''"[[InsultToRocks I hate when women compare men to dogs]]. Men are not dogs. [[CanineCompanion Dogs are loyal]]. I’ve never found any strange panties in my dog’s house."''
138	-->-- '''Creator/WandaSykes'''
139
140	->'''Toast:''' So. Increased heart rate means increase blood flow, right?\
141	''(the others voice their agreements)''\
142	'''Toast:''' How do you get a man's blood flowing? ''(immediately looks up a porn site)''
143	-->--[[https://youtu.be/P1OWo43ddXo "OFFLINETV RISING HEART RATE CHALLENGE"]]
144
145	->''"He's a ''bloke'', Trace. He prob'bly thinks 'flash' is a verb."''
146	-->-- '''Sharon Theodopolopodous''', ''Series/BirdsOfAFeather'', "[[Recap/BirdsOfAFeatherS8E5CantJudgeABook Can't Judge a Book]]"
147
148	->Why did love—and sex— complicate life so much? It would be far simpler for us not to have to worry about them. Sex played no part in her life now and she found that a great relief. She did not have to worry how she looked; what people thought of her. How terrible to be a man, and to have sex on one's mind all the time, as men are supposed to do. She had read in one of her magazines that the average man thought about sex over sixty times a day! She could not believe that figure, but studies had apparently revealed it. The average man, going about his daily business, had all those thoughts in his mind; thoughts of pushing and shoving, as men do, while he was actually doing something else! Did doctors think about it as they took your pulse? Did lawyers think about it as they sat at their desks and plotted? Did pilots think about it as they flew their aeroplanes? It simply beggared belief.
149	-->--'''Mma Ramotswe's thoughts on men,''' ''Literature/TheNo1LadiesDetectiveAgency''
150
151	->''So much of the stereotypical male identity is wrapped up in sexual prowess that it's difficult to step back and admit that you don't don't really fit in that world. If you're a man, you're supposed to be constantly horny, always in the mood and always on the prowl. There's simply no option for a man to feel otherwise.\
152	It's as if semen is a highly volatile substance and if you fail to get it out of your body before it reaches a critical mass, you will literally explode (And preferably with the assistance of someone else, too. If it doesn't end up in or on someone else, where it will be neutralised by their body heat, then it can apparently remain dangerous, which is why masturbation is reviewed as an outlet of last resort.)''
153	-->--''Website/AsexualityArchive'', "[[https://www.asexualityarchive.com/on-the-existence-of-asexual-men/ On the Existence of Asexual Men]]"
154
155	->'''Zhaan:''' ''(dressed as a {{Dominatrix}})'' Admit it. You've had sexual thoughts about all of us, haven't you?
156	->'''John Crichton:''' Not me...
157	->'''Chiana:''' ''(dressed as a SexySchoolwoman)'' Well come on! You're a male!
158	->'''Zhaan:''' It's [[PunctuatedForEmphasis just-the way-you-are-wired]].
159	->'''Aeryn:''' ''(dressed in a NaughtyNurseOutfit, she casually inserts a [[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything long sharp metal object through a dilator]])'' Nothing to be ashamed of. Not when females are willing.
160	->'''Zhaan:''' Say, what's your pleasure, boss?
161	->'''Aeryn:''' I'm a doctor. Just relax.
162	->'''Zhaan:''' I can wear a {{Freudian slip}}.
163	->'''Aeryn:''' I'll find new places to take your temperature.
164	->'''Chiana:''' I can teach you...the [[ComicSutra left-handed Latvian Rodeo Torture!]]
165	-->-- ''Series/{{Farscape}}'', "Won't Get Fooled Again"
166
167	->''"There's this... horrible media perception that all men are basically Quagmire, and [[AllWomenArePrudes all women are totally asexual]]. That's obviously not true at all, but that's the perception that all movies, commercials, sitcoms seem to throw out there. Not only is it not true, but personally I find that it's the most destructive stereotype placed on men."''
168	-->--''WebVideo/TheMysteriousMrEnter'', ''Animated Atrocities 103 \|\| "[[Recap/FamilyGuyS8E14PeterAssment Peter-Assment]]" [WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy]''
169
170	->''"You've heard it before; 'the one thing that any man wants is sex. He'll do anything for it. Men think about sex every seven seconds! If he doesn't want sex at any given time, he's either gay, there's something wrong with him, or ''he's cheating on you''!' And a whole lot of other bullshit. And it really, really is bullshit."''
171	-->--''WebVideo/TheMysteriousMrEnter'', ''Further Thoughts on Peter-Assment''

Context Quotes / AllMenArePerverts