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1[[foldercontrol]]
2
3[[folder:Anime & Manga]]
4->''"You don't have to be rude just 'cause I wanna kill ya!"''
5-->-- '''Kain Hikaru''', ''Manga/FairyTail''
6[[/folder]]
7
8[[folder:Comic Books]]
9->'''Emperor Attican:''' [[DeathRay No, that's not the one]]. Where's the flesh disintegrator?\
10'''Klepo:''' You don't have one.\
11'''Emperor Attican:''' Really?\
12'''Klepo:''' That weapon doesn't exist.\
13'''Emperor Attican:''' I dreamed it?\
14'''Klepo:''' Possibly.\
15'''Emperor Attican:''' Could you make one for me?\
16'''Klepo:''' I could ask.\
17'''Emperor Attican:''' Thank you.
18-->-- ''[[Characters/MarvelComicsBlackOrder Black Order #2 (2018)]]''
19
20->'''[[MadDoctor Sir William Gull]]:''' By the Divine Creator. Mr Merrick, you are the most dreadfully deformed human being I have ever encountered. It is a great privilege to make your acquaintance.
21->'''Joseph Merrick:''' huhuh. [[TheUnintelligible Yu nho, wen bhey fhee me]], moft peeble fcreem or loff or fubtibes bhey pwetebb I luk perfecky orbinary. [[VillainsNeverLie Yhur hobbesty ib moft wefweffing]].
22->'''Sir William Gull:''' As is your articulacy, sir, though indeed I see you have some difficulty in speaking. Might I examine you more closely?
23-->--''Comicbook/FromHell''
24[[/folder]]
25
26[[folder:Fan Fiction]]
27->''Two ravens appeared from the darkness above them, landing on her shoulder. The hungry look with which they fixed their blood red eyes on him made the half-wight twitch uncomfortably. Hel grinned at him broadly, showing her sharp fangs. "Hugin and Munin are perfectly capable of this task, I should think," she continued, voice still a soft purr.''
28-->-- ''[[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11914159/4/The-Children-Of-The-Moon The Children Of The Moon]]''
29
30->''"[[PunctuatedForEmphasis Who, the fuck, are you]]," he ground out slowly, though given the volume of his words he was all but shouting.\
31"Well, call me a concerned citizen. Now, if you want me to return the items I have taken, along with the one you haven't noticed me taking, you'll meet at the abandoned power station in Brooklyn. The one right off the 278 Interstate. See you there!" I said, cheerily.''
32-->-- '''[[Literature/{{Worm}} Taylor Hebert]]''', ''[[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9645945/6/Fiend-or-how-I-learned-to-stop-worrying-and-love-the-Green-Sun Fiend]]''
33
34->''Father had warned Draco against people like [Literature/HarryPotter], people who could ruin you and still be so likable that it was hard to hate them properly.''
35-->-- ''Fanfic/HarryPotterAndTheMethodsOfRationality''
36
37->''You know, this may be stating the obvious, but something really occurred to me while writing this chapter: people in this story, even the ones that are supposed to be on the same side, really don't like each other. If they're not screaming and trying to kill each other, they're being cold and sarcastic. Maybe that's part of the reason why Yuuka is so popular. Sure, she's a psychopathic, child-molesting lunatic, but at least she's nice!''
38-->-- Author's notes for Chapter 35 of ''FanFic/ImperfectMetamorphosis''
39
40->''"I know, I know, my child; the [[AndIMustScream paralysis]] frightens you. The thought of [[StrappedToAnOperatingTable being vivisected]] frightens you. [[ApologeticAttacker I can only ask your forgiveness]] for leaving you like this... but you needn't fear death. The surgeon may cut you open, but if he finds that you aren't one of [[RebelLeader Glinda]]'s spies and your mind is untainted by Deviancy, there yet may be a place for you among us. And even if your body is destroyed to uncover the truth, [[BrainUploading I promise your mind life eternal]] within the Soul of [[MasterComputer Paragon]]. It's the least I can do for you, my poor, beautiful child. Regardless of what the doctor finds, you will always be an innocent to me. After all, no true disciple of Glinda could ever shed a tear for had happened; I doubt even Glinda herself would cry if we were to even meet again... Goodnight, my child. And remember what I told you: everything is going to be alright."''
41-->--'''The Radiant Empress,''' ''Fanfic/TheLandOfWhatMightHaveBeen''
42[[/folder]]
43
44[[folder:Film -- Animated]]
45->''Look, I’m not that evil, no\
46I’m not a bad person\
47So I killed one carny \
48Well, it’s just cause I’m determined\
49To finally get what I think that I’m deservin’\
50And to turn it into something worthy\
51Trust me, I’m sure you will agree\
52Would you like to hear my master plan?''
53-->-- [[spoiler:'''Grover Fischoeder''']], ''WesternAnimation/TheBobsBurgersMovie'', ''"Not That Evil"''
54
55->''They meet Jojo, a monkey (though technically a chimpanzee) with an all-around sympathetic nature, but is he on their side?''
56-->-- ''WesternAnimation/ThePowerpuffGirlsMovie'', "The movie's manual about Mojo Jojo"
57
58->''"You are bad guy, but this does not mean you are bad '''guy'''."''
59-->-- '''[[Franchise/StreetFighter Zangief]]''', ''WesternAnimation/WreckItRalph''
60[[/folder]]
61
62
63[[folder:Film -- Live-Action]]
64->''"[[VillainRespect You have my respect]], Stark. When I'm done, half of humanity will still be alive. I hope they remember you."''
65-->-- '''Thanos''', ''Film/AvengersInfinityWar''
66
67->''"Well don't let my white duds and pleasant demeanor fool ya'. I too have been known to violate the statues of man, and not a few of the laws of the Almighty!"''
68-->-- '''"Buster Scruggs"''', ''Film/TheBalladOfBusterScruggs''
69
70->'''"Charlie":''' Don't look at me like that. It's just me! Charlie!\
71'''Barton:''' I hear it's Mundt. "Madman Mundt".\
72'''"Charlie":''' Jesus, people can be cruel. If it's not my build, it's my personality.
73-->-- ''Film/BartonFink''
74
75->''"They say I'm a 'madman', Barton. But I'm not mad at anyone. Honest, I'm not."''
76-->-- '''"Charlie"''' in the midst of a shotgun rampage, ''Film/BartonFink''
77
78->''"I know you care about him. I've never seen you like this with anybody, so don't get me wrong when I tell you that Tom, while being a very nice guy, is the Devil... What do you think the Devil's going to look like? ''[...]'' Come on. No one's going to be taken in by a guy with a [[BigRedDevil long, red, pointy tail]]. Come on, what's he going to sound like? ''[growls]'' No! I'm semi-serious here... No, he'll be attractive, he'll be nice and helpful. He'll get a job where he influences a great and God-fearing nation. He'll never do an evil thing. He'll never deliberately hurt a living thing. He'll just, bit by little bit, lower our standards where they're important. Just a tiny little bit. Just coax along flash over substance. Just a tiny little bit."''
79-->-- '''[[Creator/AlbertBrooks Aaron Altman]]''', ''Film/BroadcastNews''
80
81->'''Harald Vanger:''' I'm not a recluse. I don't close my door to anyone. They just don't visit.\
82'''Mikael Blomkvist:''' ''[referring to Harald's collection of [[NaziGrandpa Nazi rally photographs]]]'' Perhaps if you redecorated?\
83'''Harald:''' Hide the past like they do? Under a thin shiny veneer? Like an IKEA table? [[AtLeastIAdmitIt I am the most honest of all of them]].\
84'''Mikael:''' The family?\
85'''Harald:''' Sweden.
86-->-- ''Film/TheGirlWithTheDragonTattoo2011''
87
88->''"Good night, Westley. Good work. Sleep well. I'll most likely kill you in the morning."''
89-->-- '''Dread Pirate Roberts''', ''Film/ThePrincessBride''
90
91->''"Oh. This is not good. I am not killing you. Don't you understand? You must die. Will you cooperate?"''
92-->-- '''Franz''', ''Film/TheProducers''
93
94->''"Please, sit down before you fall down. We can at least behave like civilized people."''
95-->-- '''Belloq''', ''Film/RaidersOfTheLostArk''
96
97-> ''"Good evening ladies and gentlemen, this is your captor speaking. There’s been a slight change in your travel plans tonight. You have, you will note, been moved to the last two cars of the train for your own well being. First, I’d like to call your attention to the highly trained men, with the automatic weapons in your cars. In the event of an emergency, they may be called upon to shoot you. Your safety is our primary concern. However, if you try anything stupid, federal regulations require that I kill you. So, please, no hero shit."''
98-->-- '''Travis Dane''', ''Film/UnderSiege2DarkTerritory''
99
100->'''Rorschach:''' You killed the Comedian!\
101'''[[spoiler:Ozymandias]]:''' May he rest in peace.
102-->-- ''Film/{{Watchmen}}''
103[[/folder]]
104
105[[folder:Literature]]
106->''"Historians still unborn will appreciate your cooperation in the future, [[DoomedMoralVictor Sonmi-451]]. We archivists thank you in the present. Our gratitude may not mean much, but I'll endeavor to grant any last request you may have, if it lies within [[{{Dystopia}} my ministry's influence]]. Now, this silver egg-shaped device is called an orison. It records both an image of your face and your words. Once we're finished, the orison will be archived at the Ministry of Testaments. This isn't an interrogation, remember, or a trial. Your version of the truth is all that matters."''
107-->-- '''The Archivist,''' ''Literature/CloudAtlas''
108
109->'''[[HumanoidAbomination Fabian Everyman]]:''' When I told you that you would serve me, I was giving you a true seeing: you are mine now, and forever more. However, I've decided that I don't want to be the Home Secretary anymore. I've raised my game; what this country really needs to see it through the [[JustBeforeTheEnd coming stellar conjunction]] is firm government under an [[PresidentEvil enlightened ruler]], and I've decided that I'm ''exactly'' the best possible candidate for the job! Michael asked me, on behalf of the Board of Directors of your agency, [[EnemyMine if I could deal with the situation here]]. Give him my best regards when you see him, and let him know that thanks to [[SinisterMinister Schiller]]'s diligence in distributing [[PuppeteerParasite those silly little hosts]], I will have the cabinet ''entirely'' under control by the end of the night.\
110'''Cassie:''' [[OhCrap Eep]].\
111'''Mo:''' I'll be sure to tell him you said that. Goodbye.\
112'''Fabian Everyman:''' Be seeing you!
113-->-- ''[[Literature/TheLaundryFiles The Delirium Brief]]''
114
115->''"He was the mildest-manner'd man that ever scuttled ship or cut a throat."''
116-->-- ''Literature/DonJuan'', Canto III
117
118->''"At what point did you forget that I am a vampire, Dresden? A monster. A habitually neat, polite, civil, and efficient monster. ''[...]'' {{I am what I am}}."''
119-->-- '''Lara Raith''', ''Literature/TheDresdenFiles'': ''Literature/TurnCoat''
120
121->''"Happy [[DeadlyGame Hunger Games]]! And may the odds be EVER in your favor!"''
122-->-- '''Effie Trinket''', ''Literature/TheHungerGames''
123
124->''"... trying to fix precisely what it was about [Crassus] which made him so disconcerting, I think it was this: his indiscriminate and detached friendliness, which you knew would never waver or diminish even if he had just decided to have you killed."''
125-->-- '''[[FirstPersonPeripheralNarrator Tiro]]''', ''Literature/{{Imperium}}''
126
127->You may think of me as [[HumanoidAbomination an enemy of man]]. Not so. [[IntriguedByHumanity I am fascinated]]. I am pleased to encounter those truly rare individuals who see beyond the game, who do not constantly succumb to [[DealWithTheDevil deals and catches]]. Believe me.
128->And, if truth be told, I am disappointed each time I win.
129-->--'''The Narrator,''' ''Literature/LifesLottery''
130
131->''"Now listen to me. I like you. The consequence is that it would annoy me for just about two and a half minutes if I heard that you had died in torments. Well, if you ever tell the police or any human soul about us, I shall have that two and a half minutes of discomfort. On your discomfort I will not dwell. Good-day. Mind the step."''
132-->-- '''Sunday''', ''Literature/TheManWhoWasThursday''
133
134->''"Don't worry, Winston; you are in my keeping. For seven years I have watched over you. Now [[ColdBloodedTorture the turning-point has come]]. I shall save you, [[MindRape I shall make you perfect]]."''
135-->-- '''[[spoiler:O'Brien]]''', ''Literature/NineteenEightyFour''
136
137->''"And just like that, it felt like someone had poured cold water down my back. The casual way the green-eyed man had just referred to murder had jarred me back into reality. Villains. Funny and almost likable, but still villains."''
138-->-- ''Literature/APracticalGuideToEvil'', [[https://practicalguidetoevil.wordpress.com/2015/04/16/chapter-3-squire/ Book 1, Chapter 3]]
139
140->'''Watson:''' You say he was affable?\
141'''Holmes:''' A purring cat who thinks he sees prospective mice. Some people's affability is more deadly than the violence of coarser souls.
142-->-- ''Literature/SherlockHolmes'', "The Adventure of the Illustrious Client"
143
144->''"Power tastes best when sweetened by courtesy."''
145-->-- '''Roose Bolton''', ''Literature/ASongOfIceAndFire''
146
147->''At seven o'clock precisely the twenty men who made up [[NebulousEvilOrganisation this organization]] strode, lounged, or sidled, each according to his character, into the workmanlike board room on the third floor. Their chairman was already in his seat. No greetings were exchanged. They were ruled by the chairman to be a waste of breath and, in an organization of this nature, hypocritical.''
148-->-- ''Literature/{{Thunderball}}''
149
150->''"About three months later, I got a nice letter from Captain Halsing, postmarked Milwaukee, thanking me for my hospitality. He was the model Nazi, cold, competent, and perfectly polite."''
151-->-- '''John Rumford''', ''Literature/{{Victoria}}''
152
153->'''Vivenna:''' Denth used me. And the worst part is, I still feel like this must all be a misunderstanding. I feel that he's really my friend, and that I should go to him and find out why he did what he did. Maybe we are all just confused. But then I remember the things I saw him do. My friend Parlin is dead. Other soldiers sent by my father, stuffed in sacks. I'm so confused.\
154'''Vasher:''' You're not the first one he's taken in, Princess. Denth... he's a subtle one. A man like him can be evil to the core, but if he's charismatic and amusing, people will listen to him. They'll even like him.
155-->-- ''Literature/{{Warbreaker}}''
156
157->''"This guy was borderline unhinged, too much power in too unstable a package, and I almost ''liked'' him.''"
158-->-- '''Weaver''' on Phir Sē, ''Literature/{{Worm}}''
159[[/folder]]
160
161[[folder:Live-Action TV]]
162->''"I wanted to be a guy who was affable, part of the community, who handled his business like a business, and that people could potentially, ''possibly'', begin to like. It was the calm demeanor that I brought to this character that I feel like really allowed him to be elevated... Gus does care about people. He's brutal to them if they don't do what he says, but he's very kind to them if they do. He is the ultimate father in the laundry business, in the drug business, and in the chicken business."''
163-->-- '''Creator/GiancarloEsposito''' on his character '''Gustavo Fring''', ''Series/BreakingBad''.
164
165->''"Buffy, I'm here to kill you, not to judge you."''
166-->-- '''Holden Webster''', ''Series/BuffyTheVampireSlayer'', "[[Recap/BuffyTheVampireSlayerS7E7ConversationsWithDeadPeople Conversations With Dead People]]"
167
168->'''Romana:''' But he had such an honest face!\
169'''The Doctor:''' Well, you could hardly be a successful criminal with a ''dis''honest face.
170-->-- ''Series/DoctorWho'', "[[Recap/DoctorWhoS16E1TheRibosOperation The Ribos Operation]]"
171
172->''"I'm a psychopath, I'm not ''rude''."''
173-->-- '''River Song''', ''Series/DoctorWho'', "[[Recap/DoctorWhoS32E8LetsKillHitler Let's Kill Hitler]]"
174
175->''"Hello, ordinary person. Please maintain a minimum separation of three feet. I'm really trying not to kill anyone today, but it would be tremendously helpful if your major arteries were out of reach."''
176-->-- '''Missy''', ''Series/DoctorWho'', "[[Recap/DoctorWhoS36E11WorldEnoughAndTime World Enough and Time]]"
177
178->'''D'Argo:''' Stay back! Stay back or I swear, I will kill you.\
179'''Kaarvok:''' I don't think ''that's'' very polite.
180-->-- ''Series/{{Farscape}}'', "[[Recap/FarscapeS03E06EatMe Eat Me]]"
181
182->'''Scorpius:''' Ka D'Argo, is it? I don't believe we've had the pleasure.\
183''[D'Argo leaps out of his chair, brandishing a metal goblet as an improvised weapon]''\
184'''Scorpius:''' I am totally unarmed; I bear you no ill will. Perhaps we should... well, [[NoMrBondIExpectYouToDine reorder, and share a repast]]...
185-->-- ''Series/{{Farscape}}''
186
187->'''Hannibal:''' Mason is discourteous. [[MythologyGag Discourtesy is unspeakably ugly to me]].\
188'''Will:''' Are you thinking about eating him?\
189'''Hannibal:''' Whenever feasible, one should always try to eat the rude.
190-->-- ''Series/{{Hannibal}}''
191
192->''"Now you can't have any of my pie."''
193-->-- '''Daniel Linderman''', ''Series/{{Heroes}}''
194
195->''"You're so ''polite''... you make me sick!"''
196-->-- '''Theo Kojak''' to a double-murderer, ''Series/{{Kojak}}'', "The Marcus-Nelson Murders"
197
198->'''Ben:''' I'd like you to take a walk with me.\
199'''Jack:''' You say that like you're not going to knock me out and put a bag over my head if I say no.\
200'''Ben:''' Then don't say no.
201-->-- ''Series/{{Lost}}''
202
203->''"Ray is protective, kind.\
204Ray is dangerous, a criminal."''
205-->-- '''Elliot''', ''Series/MrRobot''
206
207->'''Hilda:''' Salem, what's the matter?\
208'''[[SnarkyNonHumanSidekick Salem]]:''' ''[looking at a robin's corpse while crying]'' I killed him. I landed on him when I fell out of the tree! [[CatsAreMean All I wanted to do was scare, humiliate, and emotionally scar him for life]] -- I didn't want to hurt him!
209-->-- ''Series/SabrinaTheTeenageWitch''
210
211->''"I didn't want to hurt you, Sabrina. I just wanted to ''rule'' you!"''
212-->-- '''Salem''', ''Series/SabrinaTheTeenageWitch''
213
214->'''Apophis:''' May your reign last days... and your death years!\
215'''Baal:''' ''[smirk]'' [[ActuallyPrettyFunny That's actually rather good. Isn't it]]?\
216''[Teal'c nods]''\
217'''Baal:''' Did you plan to say that when you walked in? ''[cuts off a piece of Apophis' head with a sword, killing his symbiote]'' [[BondOneLiner Or was it just off the top of your head]]?
218-->-- ''Series/StargateSG1''
219
220->''"Erin, can you please not interrupt me when I'm threatening you?"''
221-->-- '''Daniel Lang''', ''Series/WhoIsErinCarter''
222
223->''"Don't believe we've met; Proposition Joe. You ever steal from me, I'll kill your whole family."''
224-->-- ''Series/TheWire''
225
226->''"My father is pure evil, and you are going to love him."''
227-->-- '''Kate Lockwood''', ''Series/You2018''
228[[/folder]]
229
230[[folder:Music]]
231->''I'd like to help you Tom, in any way I can\
232I sure appreciate the way you're working with me\
233I'm not a monster Tom, well, technically I am\
234I guess I am''
235-->-- '''Music/JonathanCoulton''', "Re: Your Brains" (A song used in VideoGame/Left4Dead2)
236
237->''Please allow me to introduce myself\
238I'm a {{man of wealth and taste}}\
239I've been around for a long, long year\
240Stole many a man's soul and faith\
241\
242And I was 'round when Jesus Christ\
243Had his moment of doubt and pain\
244Made damn sure that Pilate\
245Washed his hands and sealed his fate\
246\
247Pleased to meet you\
248Hope you guess my name''
249-->-- '''Music/{{The Rolling Stones|Band}}''', "Sympathy for the Devil"
250[[/folder]]
251
252[[folder:Tabletop Games]]
253->''[[ImmortalityImmorality With the single exception of her undeniable desire to continue her own life and youth at the expense of others]], Mrs. Talitha Johnson is a virtuous and respectable woman. She volunteers at the local library, tends her yard and flowerbeds and, generally speaking, [[VillainWithGoodPublicity is a sweet and kind presence in the neighborhood]]. She [[FriendToAllChildren genuinely likes children]] and regrets the necessity of [[WouldHurtAChild preying upon them]], but has plenty of time between the ceremonies to put the [[LifeDrinker harm she does]] in the back of her mind. Even during the ceremony she does her utmost to make certain that the process is the least painful and frightening possible for her target child.''
254-->-- "The Forever Club", ''[[TabletopGame/NewWorldOfDarkness Innocents]]''
255
256->''"What is that? You meant no offence? My dear boy, none taken! Your [[SorcerousOverlord wizardly masters]] may cloister themselves in [[MageTower their towers]], glowering balefully on strangers, but we [[HumanoidAbomination Tzimisce]] are an [[SacredHospitality open and trusting folk]]. Indeed, our reputation for receptiveness is matched only by our reputation for [[CruelMercy mercy]]. Would you not agree, Stephen? What is it that your masters call us, as they fearfully scan the night from their battlements?\
257Why, Stephen, you are pale and shaking! Did I not say that the night air might prove bad for your health? I had thought to let you pass the night and leave come the morn, but you seem gripped with illness! That settles it, then: you shall stay with us indefinitely and we shall work [[{{Biomanipulation}} our arts of physick]] upon you, that you might be made... [[BodyHorror well]]. What -- oh, do not think to thank us! It is the smallest task, and one we shall set with alacrity! After all, save for the stimulating division your Tremere masters have recently seen fit to offer, there is little to occupy us in the Old Country. No, we stand ready to provide our fullest attention to you tonight... and the night after... [[AndIMustScream and the night after]]..."''
258-->-- '''Boleslav Volhyny,''' ''TabletopGame/VampireTheMasquerade -- Libellus Sanguinis: Masters of the State''
259
260->''"[[ArchEnemy Dear Lady]], let me express my fulsome appreciation for your most generous gift. It is so very rare to discover another of my own kind that appreciates my work, therefore to find understanding amongst a member of another race is nothing short of a revelation. I realize that you briefly trod [[SupervillainLair my galleries]], but the fact that you spotted in so short a time that my Acabrius War collection was lacking three regiments of Catachan warriors reveals that you truly have a collector's eye for detail. [[MookHorrorShow And to send five regiments]]! Such generosity will allow me to weed out and replace a few of the more substandard pieces in my collection. If I might level a minor criticism, the instructions issued to your gift were manifestly not as clear as you thought, as most of them had to be [[AndIMustScream forcibly restrained]] -- sadly it seems that [[FantasticRacism the lower orders will always behave like an army of invasion]], whether that be their purpose or not. However, this is a minor complaint and seems almost churlish under the circumstances, so please allow me to repay your gift with one of my own. Accompanying this message is the Hyperstone Maze, one of a series of [[BagOfHolding Tesseract Labyrinths]] constructed at the height of the Charnovokh Dynasty. It is a trinket really, only of interest to scholars such as you and I, but I trust you will find it amusing -- assuming you have the wit to escape its clutches, of course."''
261-->-- '''[[CollectorOfTheStrange Trazyn the Infinite]]''' to Inquisitor Valeria, ''TabletopGame/Warhammer40000: Codex -- Necrons (5th ed.)''
262
263->''For a [[GodOfEvil Lord of Chaos]], Nurgle's actions seem oddly harmonious -- caring even. To receive the blessings of Nurgle, all one has to do is want to live and be willing to do whatever it takes to cling to life. All else follows naturally from there. Worshipers of [[WarGod Khorne]] must push toward ever-greater levels of destruction and carnage despite the risks to themselves or even to their allies. Those who devote themselves to [[TheTrickster Tzeentch]] must deny their lot in life and seek to change everything, never appreciating what they have. Followers of [[TheHedonist Slaanesh]] seek to escape reality in a blur of sensation and self-delusion. All that is required to feel the caring touch of Nurgle is to see life for what it is and to want to make the most of it. All that is needed is faith in the future provided by Nurgle.''
264-->-- ''TabletopGame/BlackCrusade: The Tome Of Decay''
265[[/folder]]
266
267[[folder:Theatre]]
268->''O villain, villain, smiling, damned villain!\
269My tables-meet it is I set it down\
270That one may smile, and smile, and be a villain.''
271-->-- '''Theatre/{{Hamlet}}'''
272
273->''"And though scary is exciting, nice is different than good."''
274-->-- '''Little Red''', ''Theatre/IntoTheWoods''
275
276->''"You'll remain as hostage here, should Hilarion disappear, we will hang you -- never fear! -- most politely, most politely, most politely."''
277-->-- '''King Hildebrand''', ''Theatre/PrincessIda''
278
279->'''Quirrell:''' The Yule Ball has finally arrived! I have the key!\
280'''Voldemort:''' I KNOW, Quirrell, I HEAR EVERYTHING YOU HEAR!\
281'''Quirrell:''' Sorry, my lord.\
282'''Voldemort:''' No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped. I'm just nervous, that's all.
283-->-- ''Theatre/AVeryPotterMusical''
284
285->''"Woah, hello, [[MamaBear ma'am]]! You ain't got nothin' to worry about! [[{{Ephebophile}} I was just making sexual advances on your daughter]], is all."''
286-->-- '''[=McDoon=] the Bandit King''', ''Theatre/TheTrailToOregon''
287
288->''I am a sentimental man\
289Who always longed to be a father\
290That's why I do the best I can\
291To treat each citizen of Oz as a son\
292Or daughter\
293So Elphaba, I'd like to raise you high\
294'Cause I think everyone deserves the chance to fly\
295And helping you with your ascent al-\
296-lows me to feel so parental\
297For I am a sentimental man''
298-->-- '''[[VillainWithGoodPublicity The Wizard]]''', ''Theatre/{{Wicked}}''
299[[/folder]]
300
301[[folder:Video Games]]
302->''"You shall stay here until you become not alive!~ And until that happens, I shall feed you three square meals a day. Freshly made by me. Straight from my kitchen, into your mouths.~ For those of you with allergies please tell me in advance. And I have vegetarian alternatives for my fellow animal lovers in the room. And the soup is self-serve. Don't even THINK of trying to escape! Because I'd miss you!"''
303-->-- '''The Gambler''', ''VideoGame/TheBrainsAndTheBrawn''
304
305->''"Ah, [[PlayerCharacter commander]]! You must be lost! This is not your precious Blue Zone, this is Nod territory! Tell you what... I'll have my troops send you home. ''[{{beat}}]'' In a body bag..."''
306-->-- '''Kane''', ''VideoGame/CommandAndConquer3TiberiumWars''
307
308->''"Get up, boy. [[FamilyEyeResemblance I'd recognize those eyes anywhere]]... ''[hugs Ajay]'' I'm so sorry about this. This was supposed to be... well, ''not this''. [[NoMrBondIExpectYouToDine We have a party waiting for you]], but I don't think I know ''[[CoolOldGuy your]]'' name. Who is this? Hmmm? Is this your plus-one? Strong silent type. I like it. [[SincerityMode I am terribly sorry about this]]. This was supposed to be very simple, but you know if you give food to [[LaResistance monkeys]], they just throw their shit at each other. ''[holds out a [[ThePenIsMightier bloodstained pen]] for Ajay]'' Oh, would you hold this? Just a moment... I want to get a little... [[SocialMediaBeforeReason picture]]. Right into the camera, there we are. Awesome. Don't worry about a thing, boy. This will soon be behind us, and we'll be off on our grand adventure. Because I have cleared my calendar for you! You and I are gonna [[SuddenlyShouting TEAR SHIT UP]]!"''
309-->-- '''[[TheCaligula Pagan Min]]''', ''VideoGame/FarCry4''
310
311->''"Wednesday, we spill the blood of virgin chickens. Thursday we anoint ourselves in said blood. Friday is, of course, poker night."''
312-->-- '''Cultist of Shadow''', ''VideoGame/{{Fable}}''
313
314->''"I'm a [[HiredGuns hired blade]] and I only care about the bottom line. I'll do anything and kill anyone for that. I saved a few children, but I have a kill count that far exceeds that number. I've seen far more extreme contradictions compared to mine. An arms dealer who plunges entire regions into war may be a child's hero or the [[EvenEvilHasLovedOnes backbone of the family]]. A ruthless entrepreneur may also be a generous philanthropist dedicated to the wellbeing of his hometown. And the seemingly innocent [[WarRefugees refugees]] shivering in the cold... they'll kill each other for a morsel of food, or turn into monsters just to make others feel their pain."''
315-->-- '''Raven''', ''VideoGame/HonkaiImpact3rd''
316
317->''"Look, I'm sorry. It's just the way things have to go. It's just a part of life! Um... [[{{Doppelganger}} For us]], I mean... [[HostileAnimatronics Their]] bodies are hardly keeping themselves together, so they've [[FusionDance gathered themselves in the basement]]. They can't just, uh, kill you directly, you know. I promised them I'd leave you to them, so I brought you here to, uh, at least try to talk to you before they arrive... So before they get here, and everything burns... I'd like to thank you, for giving us this opportunity to see the world through the eyes of your creations. Being [[spoiler:Michael Schmidt]] [[IJustWantToBeNormal has been an incredible experience...]] I-I mean I feel... Wh- ''I feel fantastic! I want to keep feeling like this forever!'' And, to do that... ''(somberly)'' I... need you to die."''
318-->-- '''[[spoiler:Michael]]''', ''VideoGame/TheJoyOfCreationReborn''
319
320->''"What the hell are you doing here? Master already took the piece of the dark crystal that was stored in this crypt. Ah well, I'm not going to complain. I was [[ToServeMan getting hungry]] anyways."''
321-->--'''[[KingMook Vermin King]]''', ''VideoGame/LuxarenAllure''
322
323->''"Welcome, traveler. I am Shang Tsung, and this...is my island. I bid you welcome to explore. Hidden among the islands ruins are treasure, magic, and very special artifacts. Take what you want... '''[[ImpliedDeathThreat within reason]]'''. You will find time spent here is well rewarded..."''
324-->-- '''Shang Tsung''', ''VideoGame/MortalKombat11''
325
326->''"Killing you and giving you good advice aren't mutually exclusive. The rocket really is the way to go."''
327-->-- '''[=GLaDOS=]''', ''VideoGame/Portal1''
328
329->''"I wanted to talk to you for a moment, if I may. I'll be honest: The {{death trap}}s have been a bit of a failure so far. For both of us. I think you'll agree. And you are getting very close to my lair. 'Lair' -- heh, weird isn't it? First time I've said it out loud. Sounds a bit ridiculous, really. But I can assure you it is one. It is a proper lair. Deadly lair. And I just wanted to give you the chance to kill yourself now. Before you get to the lair. You can just jump into the masher, just there. Less a death trap, more a death option for you."''
330-->-- '''[[spoiler:Wheatley]]''', ''VideoGame/Portal2''
331
332->'''''[[{{Catchphrase}} Hiya, Chuck]].\
333Pleased to meet you. I'm [[MouthOfSauron the message]]. [[TomTheDarkLord I'm John]]. Nothing fancy. I want to get to know [[ElectronicSpeechImpediment you-you-you]]. Want to talk about dreams and dreamers? Sensory input gives the illusion of consciousness. You are all just dreams made of flesh. [[WasOnceAMan I used to be too]]. [[AscendToAHigherPlaneOfExistence Now I'm flesh made of dream]]. [[WeCanRuleTogether You can too, Chuck]]. You can too. [[GoodCounterpart Those other guys]], [[EnigmaticEmpoweringEntity the buzzing voices]]. THEY resent me. THEY'RE going to say bad things about me. Don't shoot me, Chuck. I'm just the message. I'm becoming plural. But I remember what it was like to be singular. THEY don't.\
334[[SigningOffCatchphrase See you, Chuck]]...'''''
335-->-- '''The Black Signal,''' ''VideoGame/TheSecretWorld''
336
337->''"Hey, I hate having to do this to ya, I really do. But I'm a pretty bad guy, so uh... you know."''
338-->-- '''Dr. Krankcase''', ''[[VideoGame/{{Skylanders}} Skylanders: Trap Team]]''
339[[/folder]]
340
341[[folder:Webcomics]]
342->'''Red Mage:''' Did you see that?!\
343'''Black Mage:''' Garland is so hideously evil that he can afford to be nice before he kills us!\
344'''Fighter:''' He must be so powerful that even the shiniest sword could not save us now!
345-->-- [[https://www.nuklearpower.com/2002/01/17/episode-109-a-little-kindness-goes-a-long-way/ The Light Warriors]] reading Garland entirely wrong, ''Webcomic/EightBitTheater''
346
347->''"Oh, where are my manners? You were upset by the screaming. It would be unkind of me to keep you here longer than necessary."''
348-->-- '''The Collector''', ''Webcomic/Aurora2019'', [[https://comicaurora.com/aurora/1-1-19/ Chapter 1 Page 19]]
349
350->''"Oh, Seffie is a darling. It's one of the things that makes her so dangerous. Don't let your guard down."''
351-->-- '''Tarvek Sturmvoraus''', ''Webcomic/GirlGenius'' ([[https://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20190726 Vol. 20 p. 12]])
352
353->'''Helen:''' You might be able to avert doom.\
354'''Artie:''' And what if you're the one causing it?\
355'''Helen:''' Well, that's to be expected.
356-->-- ''Webcomic/{{Narbonic}}''
357
358->''"[[ThirdPersonPerson Oona]] is not having compelling reason to '''not''' be killing them, and [[TheDragon little bald man in red cape]] did say please. Good manners are being rewarded!"''
359-->-- '''Oona''',''Webcomic/TheOrderOfTheStick''
360[[/folder]]
361
362[[folder:Web Original]]
363->''"Whether it’s the classical music playing in the background, the omelette or the fine suits, Fisk repeatedly asserts his own humanity and civility. No matter where the day takes him, no matter how it plays out, Fisk at least starts the day as a [[WickedCultured refined and cultured gentleman]]. It is a lie, but it is no greater a lie than that told by Matt Murdock."''
364-->-- '''[[http://them0vieblog.com/2015/04/20/daredevil-shadows-in-the-glass-review/ Darren Mooney]]''' on ''Series/Daredevil2015''
365
366->''Nice is different than good.\
367NICE. IS. DIFFERENT. THAN. GOOD.\
368Fucking monsters and Nazis and murderers are "nice". They can be polite and courteous and be charitable.\
369But they will eventually show you what they fucking are. They are not good.\
370Nice is different than good.''
371-->-- '''[[https://twitter.com/Linkara19/status/1347249909020434435 Tweet]]''' posted by [[WebVideo/AtoptheFourthWall Linkara]]
372[[/folder]]
373
374[[folder:Web Video]]
375->''"I might be a nasty little villain who takes over the world, but I do have Juicy Juice!"''
376-->-- '''Creator/AmandaLee'''
377
378->''"Thanks for your question! I look forward to killing ''you'' soon!"''
379-->-- '''The Ninja''', ''WebVideo/AskANinja''
380
381->''"Sure, she steals things that are pretty hard to steal, but then she gives you clues on how to find her, just because it's sportsmanlike."''
382-->-- '''WebVideo/TheNostalgiaChick''', on Franchise/CarmenSandiego
383
384->''"Yeah, I had human genitalia in my freezer. But other than that, I was pretty much just an average joe. Well, after a few days she started decomposing, and, uh, pardon my French, but she smelled like S-H-I-T. So then I took the body out of the garage to kill some time, no pun intended. After I killed that first girl, I thought, 'You know, I'm pretty good at this. For the first time in my life, I'm good at something.' You know, I had a pretty normal American childhood. But all of a sudden one day, I thought, 'I wonder what the inside of my dog looks like.' What? No. I didn't have intercourse with the body. I'm not a monster."''
385-->-- [[https://youtube.com/shorts/ukued4FmAb4?feature=shared "Wholesome Serial Killer"]] by '''[[https://www.youtube.com/@kylegordonisgreat8611 Kyle Gordon]]'''
386
387->''"Hold on, I'm getting a call. ''[looks at phone]'' 'Jesus'. Thank Heavens. Hey, you're on the whole 'hailstone' thing today, right? Raining down from above? Yeah, and you talked to Timmy, he's gonna hold the Sun in the sky so that they have more time for the slaughter? Okay, now remember, I want to kill more people with the hailstones than the people on the ground kill. ''[laughing]'' I know, I'm ridiculously competitive. Okay. Alright, bye-bye."''
388-->-- '''''WebVideo/MrDeity''''', "Mr. Deity and the Promised Land"
389
390-> ''He's a really sweet guy, though he means you harm.''
391-->-- '''Alphys''',, ''WebVideo/UndertaleTheMusical''
392[[/folder]]
393
394[[folder:Western Animation]]
395->''"I'm bad, but I'm not '''''so''''' bad, right?"''
396-->-- '''Hunson Abadeer''', ''WesternAnimation/AdventureTime''
397
398->'''Jimmy:''' Okay, I guess you win I’ll fix your machine and help you take over Retro Ville.\
399'''[[BigBad Professor Calamitous]]:''' Really? A wise decision! By the way, how is my old teacher? Miss -Uhm- Uhm-\
400'''Jimmy:''' Miss Fowl? Why, she’s fine thanks for asking!
401-->-- ''WesternAnimation/TheAdventuresOfJimmyNeutronBoyGenius''
402
403->''"Hello, Earth! Congratulations on being conquered! I have good news and bad news. The good news: your planet is rich in the resources we'll need to conquer other, more impressive worlds. The bad news: we'll need to destroy your civilization to '''get''' those resources. Omelette, broken eggs, you get it."''
404-->-- '''King Andrias''', ''WesternAnimation/{{Amphibia}}''
405
406->"''He'll kill y'all with kindness\
407He'll kill y'all with a griiiiiiin\
408Kid Friendlyyyy!\
409(Narrator) don't you mess around with him.''"
410-->--''WesternAnimation/TheAngryBeavers''
411
412->'''Mr. Toad:''' Boss! It's the Bat Guy!\
413'''Professor Pyg:''' It's Batman, Toad. Remember, respect our enemies.
414-->-- ''WesternAnimation/BewareTheBatman'', "[[Recap/BewareTheBatmanS1E1Hunted Hunted]]"
415
416->''"I never tire of your people's aversion to impoliteness. A taboo against offense, even as you plan the deaths of thousands.''"
417-->--'''Abijah Fowler''' to '''Master Chiba''', ''WesternAnimation/BlueEyeSamurai''
418
419->''"Dah, I know we work in the fiery Underworld, but that's no excuse for bad manners."''
420-->-- '''Henchman''', ''WesternAnimation/TheCupheadShow''
421
422->'''Steph:''' Excuse me, do you know how long this will take?\
423'''Cave Guy:''' Why?\
424'''Steph:''' Well, some of us have reservations for dinner at the Green Gourd.\
425'''Cave Guy:''' Yes, I've dined at the Green Gourd. You're better off as hostages.
426-->-- ''WesternAnimation/{{Freakazoid}}''
427
428->''"Bad man. Good manners."''
429-->-- '''Ron Stoppable''' on Señor Senior, Sr., ''WesternAnimation/KimPossible''
430
431->''"Don't let their congenial manner fool you; they're a lot tougher than they look. This one ate a Congressman! And this one destroyed a city before he could walk."''
432-->-- '''[[WhenTreesAttack King Pistachion]]''', describing his children, ''WesternAnimation/MiloMurphysLaw''
433
434->''"Oh, and try to stay out of trouble? The Emperor is NOT a merciful man... ({{Beat}}) Byeeeee!"''
435-->-- '''The Golden Guard''', ''WesternAnimation/TheOwlHouse''
436
437->''"Powerpuff Girls save the day? CURSES! I SWEAR that today is the day, that I will crush the Powerpuff Girls! BUT FIRST! I must attend to the dishes I have soiled with the food that I have eaten."''
438-->-- '''Mojo Jojo''', ''WesternAnimation/ThePowerpuffGirls1998'', "[[Recap/ThePowerpuffGirlsS1E11JustAnotherManicMojoMimeforaChange Just Another Manic Mojo]]"
439
440->''"Oh boy, here I go killing again!"''
441-->-- '''Krombopulos Michael''', ''WesternAnimation/RickAndMorty''
442
443->'''Bullwinkle:''' Gee, he's a peach.\
444'''Rocky:''' Well, I think he's a double-crossing crooked killer.\
445'''Bullwinkle:''' Yeah, but for a double-crossing crooked killer, he's a peach.
446-->-- The titular characters talking about Boris Badenov in one of his many disguises, ''WesternAnimation/RockyAndBullwinkle'', "Missouri Mish Mash"
447
448->''"Homer I'm disappointed, but I think you need to do what's best for your family. ''[...]'' But Homer, on your way out, if you wanna kill somebody, it would help me a lot."''
449-->-- '''Hank Scorpio''', as commandos storm his {{elaborate underground base}}, ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons'', "[[Recap/TheSimpsonsS8E2YouOnlyMoveTwice You Only Move Twice]]"
450
451->''[[NamesToRunAwayFromReallyFast Scorpio]]!\
452He'll sting you with his dreams of power and wealth.\
453Beware of Scorpio!\
454His twisted twin obsessions are [[TakeOverTheWorld his plot to rule the world]]\
455[[BenevolentBoss And his employees' health]].\
456He'll welcome you into his lair,\
457Like the nobleman welcomes his guest.\
458With free dental care and a stock plan that helps you invest!\
459But beware of his generous pensions,\
460Plus three weeks paid vacation each year,\
461And on Fridays the lunchroom serves hot dogs and burgers and beer!\
462He loves German beer!''
463-->-- ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons'', "[[Recap/TheSimpsonsS8E2YouOnlyMoveTwice You Only Move Twice]]"
464
465->'''Man:''' Well I say we ban Homer from our restaurants.\
466'''Akira:''' No, [[JapanesePoliteness that would be impolite]]. I say we KILL HIM!
467-->-- ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons'', "[[Recap/TheSimpsonsS11E3GuessWhosComingToCriticizeDinner Guess Who's Coming to Criticize Dinner?]]"
468
469->''"Flash photography is forbidden in the presence of Sandroid! [[YouWillBeAssimilated You will all be assimilated]]... [[MoodWhiplash so we can all be as close as peas in a pod]]!"''
470-->-- ''WesternAnimation/SpongeBobSquarePants'', "[[Recap/SpongeBobSquarePantsS13E12 Welcome to Binary Bottom]]"
471
472->''"My demands are simple. The city will declare me ruler, the Teen Titans will surrender, and Robin.... ''will take this lovely young lady to her junior prom''."''
473-->-- '''Killer Moth''', ''WesternAnimation/TeenTitans2003'', "[[Recap/TeenTitansS2E6DateWithDestiny Date With Destiny]]"
474[[/folder]]
475
476[[folder:Real Life]]
477->''"The Master said, 'Fine words and an insinuating appearance are seldom associated with virtue.'"''
478-->-- '''Creator/{{Confucius}}'''
479
480->''"When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite."''
481-->-- '''UsefulNotes/WinstonChurchill'''
482
483->''"I have to say, that I quite liked the man. I am ashamed to say such a thing. But had I not been able to see what was happening outside the window I would have said he was very civilized. Odd, isn't it?"''
484-->-- '''Carl Giles''' on [[UsefulNotes/NaziGermany Josef Kramer, commandant of the Bergen-Belsen concentration camp]]
485
486->''"It was like watching {{Film/Gidget}} address the Reichstag."''
487-->-- '''Matt Taibbi''' on the [[UsefulNotes/SarahPalin 2008 Republican National Convention]]
488[[/folder]]

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