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3%% The examples have been alphabetized. Please put any new example in its proper place in the folder rather than at the end.
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6->''"Hm, sex works even better than chocolate for manipulating behavior. Wonder if anyone's ever stumbled onto that before..."''
7-->— '''Sheldon Cooper''', ''Series/TheBigBangTheory''
8
9A spouse threatens to remove sex from their marriage (gasp!) to force something or as a punishment. Can also occur in really close non-marital relationships. A more adult version of ExiledToTheCouch or IHaveBoobsYouMustObey.
10
11It is OlderThanFeudalism; the {{Trope Namer|s}} comes from ''Theatre/{{Lysistrata}}'', a Greek comedy by Creator/{{Aristophanes}}. It was considered comically absurd at the time, due to the prevailing idea that AllWomenAreLustful. To understand the humor in modern Western culture, imagine if all the ''men'' refused to have sex until the women were too desperate to think clearly. While its original implementation was more complex, it was {{Flanderiz|ation}}ed (specifically by Hollywood) as "[[DoubleStandard a woman gets her way by withholding sex from her man]]".
12
13Lesbians in fiction never deny each other, either because they understand each other well enough that this is unnecessary, or because [[AllWomenArePrudes women don't really want sex]] and you can't withhold what you aren't having in the first place, or because doing so would [[GirlOnGirlIsHot trigger the collapse of the Internet]]. And men, of course, are [[ImAManICantHelpIt incapable of withholding sex]] (which is why withholding sex ''from'' them is so effective), so they can't try this on their women. Plus, as noted earlier, women don't even want sex in the first place, so it wouldn't work on them anyway. Well, except on cable, where the standards of drama have (only just) caught up to those of ancient Greece, where AllWomenAreLustful. Hollywood's idea of men, women, and heterosexual relationships are [[ValuesDissonance peculiar compared to other times and places]].
14
15Compare DeniedFoodAsPunishment and BathroomControl, for when the characters are not allowed to eat or go to the bathroom as punishment. See also SexlessMarriage where this situation is the norm.
16
17As it's a sex-related trope, Administrivia/NoRealLifeExamplesPlease
18
19----
20!!Examples:
21
22[[foldercontrol]]
23
24[[folder:Anime & Manga]]
25* One story in ''Manga/FrankenFran'' has the girls of a high school ask Fran for something that will make the boys less horny. Fran obliges, and soon there is no longer any sexual harassment at the school. However, this leads to the boyfriends becoming cold and distant, on the verge of breakup, so the girls ask Fran what she did in the first place: [[spoiler: create a mass of living flesh emitting human hormones that the boys see as a giant pile of naked, inviting women, which they have sex with.]] If there's AnAesop in there, besides the manga's overarching message of "[[BeCarefulWhatYouWishFor Be careful what you wish for]], [[FantasticAesop especially if you use mad science to make it come true]]" it's [[BrokenAesop a really messed-up one]].
26* In ''Manga/JunaiNoSeinen'', Kaoru completely ignores Daigo for a week when he thinks Daigo's crossing the line between work and their personal lives. He intended to hold out longer, but it wasn't [[AllMenArePerverts going so well for him]].
27[[/folder]]
28
29[[folder:Comic Books]]
30* In an old ''[[ComicBook/ArchieComics Archie]]'' one-panel gag, this backfires on Ethel. It does help that Jughead has little more than animosity toward her.
31-->'''Ethel:''' Lips that touch onion will never touch mine!\
32'''Jughead:''' Pop, make that ''extra'' onions.
33* ''ComicBook/{{Blacksad}}'': Jezebel Karup denies sex to her husband Hans because she privately despises him while playing the "good wife" in public. She also carries on an affair with his associate Huk just to humiliate him further. There's a salient reason for this: [[spoiler:she's actually his daughter.]]
34* There's at least one moment of {{Deconstruction}} of this trope in Rick's (prose) memoirs from ''ComicBook/CerebusTheAardvark''. Of course, we ''are'' talking about post-''Reads'' Dave Sim here, so there are a few... weird ideas there, but the point is made that if a woman feels compelled to use her body to "punish or reward" her man, the relationship might not be the healthiest one to begin with.
35* ''ComicBook/{{Empowered}}'':
36** Emp blows her stack over a one-night-stand her lover [=ThugBoy=] had with [[AlphaBitch Sistah Spooky]] a month before they met. Then he manages to tap further into her insecurities by [[ComplimentBackfire comparing her favorably]] in the skill department. He then spends several weeks on the couch in a "sexual Siberia", till there is no further doubt who is the alpha-wench in their relationship.
37** Of course it is implied, and eventually outright stated, that Emp needs a good snuggling almost as much as her lover. In fact, in later volumes, it is shown that future attempts at this trope are made to even less success. She consistently cracks from the isolation ending the gambit prematurely (not that those days aren't Hell on Earth for [=ThugBoy=] regardless).
38* ''ComicBook/TheFabulousFurryFreakBrothers'' move to a mountain cabin with a trio of [[DistaffCounterpart Distaff Counterparts]]. When Franklin tries to delegate the women to cooking and cleaning duty, they in turn threaten to withhold sexual favors. When they put it to a vote, Fat Freddy sides with the women. The impasse is broken when the guys abduct Freddy in the night, tie him up, and just out of reach start eating all their food. His tortuous wails drive the women to surrender. (Lysistrata is referred to by name in the narration box.)
39* Ralf König's comic adaptation of ''Theatre/{{Lysistrata}}'' spoofs the trope: after the women have been withholding sex for a while, [[spoiler: the men start having gay sex. Then again, it still works, because now they are fucking their enemies instead of fighting]]. As expected of Ralf König. What's more, [[spoiler: Lysistrata, the one who got all the other women into it, was actually sleeping with her girlfriend all the time. The sex-deprived other women were seriously pissed off when this came out]].
40[[/folder]]
41
42[[folder:Comic Strips]]
43* ''ComicStrip/{{Doonesbury}}''. [[http://web.mac.com/arnold_zwicky/DoonesThreat.gif Attempted gender-flip]]: the other end of this trope is played perfectly straight when done by a man: "That's an offer, not a threat. Do you even know how blackmail works?"
44* ''ComicStrip/FoxTrot'':
45** Andy hinted once that she did not give birth to any of their kids in November as a direct result of withholding sex from Roger as punishment for his stupid Valentine's Day gifts. [[http://www.gocomics.com/foxtrotclassics/2007/02/14 The comment is prompted by receiving an exceptionally stupid gift in the form of a spatula.]]
46** One arc has Roger trying to grow a beard. It looks awful, but Andy finally relents... and says that by the same token, these are her leg hairs.
47--->'''Roger:''' You ''wouldn't''...
48* Parodied in a ''ComicStrip/LifeInHell'' strip that said women have two choices: withhold all sex and be rewarded with dog-like devotion, or screw his brains out, which will ''also'' be rewarded with dog-like devotion.
49* One story in Wally Wood's ''ComicStrip/{{Sally Forth|Wood}}'' features a group of [[RuleOfSexy naked]] [[UsefulNotes/{{Feminism}} Women's Lib]] protesters marching on the Pentagon, trying to force an end to the Vietnam War with this trope.
50[[/folder]]
51
52[[folder:Fan Works]]
53* In ''[[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10142032/5/An-Angel-and-a-Trickster An Angel and a Trickster]]'' Angel states that Loki talking about their sex life with Sirius merits a week of no sex per infraction.
54* In a ''Manga/GunslingerGirl'' Biff & Little Britney fanfic, Triela tries this with her handler Hilshire, only to have an OhCrap moment when he calls her bluff. She quickly withdraws her threat and instead offers 'something special' that night in exchange for his cooperation.
55* In the ''Literature/TheBartimaeusTrilogy'' fanfic ''The Forbidden Heir'', Kitty refuses to sleep with Nathaniel after he [[spoiler: captures her almost all of her ex-comrades from the Resistance and throws them in the Tower.]]
56* In ''[[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/3735195/1/Lesson-254 Lesson 254]]'' Harry threatens no sex for four months if Snape doesn't attend Harry's ballet class with him.
57* ''Fanfic/LovedAndLost'' features something of a G-rated example of this when Princess Cadance says that while she can forgive Shining Armor for his mistakes, he should [[MustMakeAmends reconcile with Twilight]] before they try to get married again. While Cadance doesn't mean this as an ultimatum, Shining interprets it as such. In his mind, it means that his relationship with the mare he loves now hinges on him reconciling with his sister.
58* In ''[[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12550578/2/Narcissa-Militant Narcissa Militant]]'' Narcissa threatens to never have sex with Lucius again unless he tells her ''exactly'' what Voldemort said when he gave Lucius the diary [[SoulJar Horcrux]].
59* In ''[[http://archiveofourown.org/works/1548278/chapters/4659759 Shattered Souls]]'' Rosalie threatens no sex for a month if Emmett keeps swearing in front of her baby goddaughter.
60* In ''[[http://jeconais.fanficauthors.net/This_Means_War/10c__Werewolves_Goblins_and_Dragons_Oh_My_Part_3_of_3/ This Means War]]'' Hermione denies Ron sex if he uses any swear word worse than "crikey" or "blimey".
61[[/folder]]
62
63[[folder:Films -- Live-Action]]
64* In ''Film/AbbottAndCostelloMeetDrJekyllAndMrHyde'', some suffragettes sing about withholding affection from men until women get the vote.
65* In ''Film/{{Absurdistan}}'', most of the women in a small village go on a sex strike because they think the men aren't taking their water shortage problems seriously.
66* Carmen in ''Film/TheColorOfMoney'' uses this to force Vincent to return to their plan and intentionally lose a game of pool.
67-->'''Carmen:''' You win one more game, you're gonna be humping your fist for a long time.
68* In ''Film/DonJon'', Barbara is straightforward with Jon, explaining that he has to take a night school class (to further his career) before she will sleep with him.
69* In ''Film/DriveAngry'', Piper withholds sex from her boyfriend till he proposes. It takes him two days to break down and pop the question.
70* A light-hearted version happens to the eponymous character in ''Film/GoodWillHunting''. The girl he has been seeing for the last few weeks is annoyed that he hasn't introduced her to his friends yet, and half-jokingly promises to withhold the sex until the situation changes. It's the middle of the night, but that doesn't stop him from making a call to one of them.
71* In ''Film/{{Jessica}}'' (1962), the women of a Sicilian village decide to withhold sex from their men in response to the arrival of a new sexy midwife.
72* In the spoof French spy movie ''Film/OSS117CairoNestOfSpies'', the title character OSS 117 does this to an Egyptian princess (who tried to kill him two minutes ago) in order to get information.
73* A Lysistrata Gambit is prominently featured in the 1955 musical ''Film/TheSecondGreatestSex''. One of the songs is "Lysistrata". There is even a character named Liza, probably a reference to Aristophanes' play.
74* The backstory to ''Film/SeparateTables'' reveals that back when Tom and Ann were married, she withheld sex from him just to mess with his head.
75* In the 2011 French film ''Film/TheSource'', the women in a small village go on a sex strike because the men won't help them bring water from a distant well.
76* In ''Film/UpTheChastityBelt'', Lurkalot and Sir Coward [[DisguisedInDrag disguise themselves as women]] and persuade Saladin's {{Bedlah Babe}}s to withhold sex from the crusaders so that King Richard will become despondent, call off the Crusade, and return to England.
77[[/folder]]
78
79[[folder:Literature]]
80* According to Creator/DaveBarry, civilization got started when a smarter-than-average cavewoman convinced the others that they would "look at the men in a certain way" until the men started acting according to their wives' commands, including bringing an end to the surprise-mammoth-eyeball-in-the-mouth joke. Most of his work is based on the "A man is a BigFriendlyDog that can walk upright" dynamic.
81* Gender-flipped in ''Literature/ABrothersPrice''. [[PosthumousCharacter Kiefer]] threw violent tantrums and withheld sex from his wives in order to get what he wants, and it largely works. [[spoiler:He also cheats on them on those nights. With his [[BrotherSisterIncest sister]].]]
82* In ''Literature/ClaimingTheHighlander'' by Kinley [=MacGregor=] (Sherrilyn Kenyon) a major plot point is that Maggie has organised two whole towns of women to withhold sex until the men agree to stop their silly feud. Actually goes into detail as the women are shown to be struggling because they actually care about their husbands and are afraid they might be driving them away. Maggie gets annoyed at all the [[AllWomenAreLustful women who want to give in]].
83* Kitai does this in the sixth ''Literature/CodexAlera'' book, ''First Lord's Fury'', demanding that Tavi court her properly rather than the casual romance they've enjoyed thus far. Though part of the reason ends up being [[spoiler:Kitai hiding her pregnancy from him.]] Though she also threatens to strangle him in the same sentence.
84* In ''Literature/TheGodfather'', Carlo doesn't dare to physically abuse Connie after he's beaten by Sonny, [[spoiler: at least not until the beating he uses to lure Sonny into Barzini's ambush]], so he uses one of these to abuse her emotionally instead. It's no sacrifice for him since he's been cheating on her from day one, which he lets her discover as part of the abuse.
85* In the ''Literature/{{Gone}}'' series, Lana threatens to never have sex with Sanjit again unless he returns her cigarettes.
86* In ''Literature/HouseOfLeaves'' it's mentioned at some point that Karen once wouldn't let Will Navidson touch her. For thirteen months.
87* In Creator/StephenColbert's ''Literature/IAmAmericaAndSoCanYou'', he warns women never to withhold sex from their husbands, as "it's a hungry dog that turns over the trash."
88* ''Literature/TheMoonIsAHarshMistress''. The Luna rebels have trouble getting the ill-disciplined Loonies to man the defences during the long, boring wait for the Earth military to attack. Fortunately due to the chronic gender imbalance on the Moon, women have a great deal of power and a Lysistrata Corps is formed to help with the defence. It's not mentioned whether the women promise sex or threaten to withhold it, but the next time the protagonist does an inspection he finds three female soldiers and no shortage of men.
89* In ''Literature/TheNowhereGirls'', the protagonists declare a strike on all sexual activity, from intercourse to kissing, until the boys of Prescott High start behaving better. The strike is meant to get the attention not of the rapists, but of [[BystanderSyndrome the other boys who allow the rapes to continue through their silence]]. Enough of the female students go along with the strike to make the popular boys want revenge.
90* ''Literature/TheSagaOfErikTheRed'': After Erik the Red's wife Thjodhild has converted to Christianity, she "refuse[s] to sleep with Erik" because he won't give up the pagan religion and become a Christian (presumably from a concern that it is sinful for a Christian to have sexual relations with a heathen). This is "much to his displeasure", but does not seem to persuade him, as he is never mentioned to convert.
91* After catching her husband with Lady Lowborough in ''Literature/TheTenantOfWildfellHall'', Helen tells Arthur point-blank that "we are husband and wife only in name." It fails to get him to change anything, but at least she doesn't have to have sex with him anymore.
92[[/folder]]
93
94[[folder:Live-Action TV]]
95* On ''Series/AlienNation'', Tenctonese are implied to be [[PlanetOfHats culturally]] more rational about sex; it happens, it's enjoyable, it shouldn't be taken lightly (they find oversexualized things such as pornography silly), and it doesn't matter what gender ''both'' partners are. One of Susan's coworkers boasts about the effectiveness of this technique just as a rather complicated issue pops up; the "[[BizarreAlienSexes binnaum]]" who helped conceive her children wants her husband to sire a child on his wife -- and must therefore forego sex with ''her'' for several weeks. Susan is curious, but by the end of the episode the woman is divorced: her husband just became sick and tired of being screwed with, to the point where he said "Take as much money as you want, just never come near me again!"
96* On ''Series/TheBernieMacShow'', Bernie becomes very possessive once his nieces and nephew move in, only allowing them to drink the dregs of the household's orange juice, and so on. His wife Wanda gives him a stern talking-to and forbids him from having sex with her until he treats the children more hospitably.
97* ''Series/TheBigBangTheory'': Penny notes that while this is usually the first trick in a girls bag, Amy cannot use it against Sheldon.
98* In ''{{Series/Bones}}'' “The Cold In The Case”, the lab gang is talking about re-animation and Hodgins starts to say it sounds really cool. Angela quips “if you say “cool”,you won’t be having sex for,like,a year.”. He quickly corrects himself to say “revolting”.
99* Subverted on ''Series/TheBrittasEmpire''. Mr Brittas's wife Helen tries withholding sex as a sign of displeasure at a proposed move to Belgium. A few weeks later she admits to a friend "it's been Hell!" for ''her'' while ''he'' hasn't even noticed.
100* ''Series/{{Cheers}}'': Diane would tease Sam with the threat of this during their first romance (Season 2), whenever he was being difficult. (He would always surrender right away.) Lilith would do this to Frasier as well --''increasingly'' -- one episode has him begging her to ''look'' at him -- as their relationship grew more stormy over the course of the show. To the point where she cheated on him.
101* In an episode of the show ''Series/{{Cybill}}'', Cybill's pregnant daughter wants her mother's advice since her husband hasn't shown any interest in sex since her pregnancy started showing. The advice?
102-->'''Cybill:''' Withhold sex.\
103'''Rachel:''' What?\
104'''Cybill:''' Withhold sex.\
105'''Rachel:''' But Mom haven't you been listening? He doesn't ''want'' sex.\
106'''Cybill:''' Well, he'll want it if he can't have it.
107* G-rated version on ''Series/DrakeAndJosh'': Mindy refuses to kiss Josh until he shaves off his mustache. The lip gloss scene on the couch, however, makes it pretty clear what it's supposed to parody.
108* An ''Series/EverybodyLovesRaymond'' episode centered around Ray discovering the "power of no", i.e. that turning Debra down when she wants sex will make her act nicer and flirtier. Debra, who consequently began to worry about her age, was not amused when she found out. Ray and Debra then decided to have a bet over which of them could go without sex longer. After a month, Ray gave in and begged her for sex. After a beat, Debra responded, "Are we still doing that?" (She later admitted that she did remember that, however.)
109* ''Series/FamilyMatters'':
110** Carl was getting rather high and mighty with regards to his being the breadwinner. Harriet decided, since he was so hung up on money, that she would start charging him -- for laundry, cooking, cleaning, and (yes) sex.
111** Harriet addressed the problem more effectively down the road by getting a job making more than him.
112* ''Series/{{Firefly}}'': Zoe is willing to use this on Wash from time to time.
113-->'''Zoe:''' Remember that sex we were planning to have, ever again?
114* ''Series/{{Frasier}}'': Maris used sex on Niles to get what she wanted, and according to Niles, Maris had incredible willpower to withhold sex for months on end.
115* Just one example of many on ''Series/TheFreshPrinceOfBelAir'': The family hasn't had reliably running water for days, but Uncle Phil is stuck on a do-it-yourself frenzy and refuses to call a plumber. In desperation, Will begs his Aunt Vivian, "There's gotta be something you can do... or not do..." Later:
116-->'''Vivian:''' Oh, Philip, if Mr. Goodwrench wants to visit Mrs. Toolbox, he better get Mr. Water running.
117* ''Series/{{Friends}}'':
118** The Chandler/Monica relationship kind of used it, with the DoubleStandard front-and-centre. When Monica forgets to make Chandler a valentines day present, she says "I will make anything you want in there [pointing to the kitchen] and ''do'' anything you want in there [pointing to bedroom]." When it turns out Chandler's gift was actually one Janice had made for him, he makes the same offer and gets this response:
119--->'''Monica:''' ''[pointing to kitchen]'' Yeah, you will and ''[pointing to bedroom]'' are you ''kidding'' me?
120** There was also an episode where ''Chandler'' was withholding sex because ''Monica'' was mad at him (they were trying to have a baby, and her ovulation diary said they needed to have sex whether they wanted to or not). Monica pretended the fight was over until they'd done it, and then said it wasn't. Chandler was outraged by this until Joey asked him if he was really complaining that he had sex.
121** And another episode where Monica and Chandler get into a fight, and Chandler is so annoyed he tells her that he's 'not putting out tonight' much to Monica's annoyance. So, as examples go, they're actually one of the least sexist examples.
122* ''Series/GameOfThrones'':
123** A rather atypical example is provided by a same-sex couple. Feeling slighted by Brienne of Tarth's appointment to Renly Baratheon's Kingsguard, Ser Loras Tyrell not only withholds sex from his boyfriend, but he punishes his beloved even further by bringing Margaery (Loras' sister) to Renly's bed, knowing full well that Renly utterly dreads the prospect of having to consummate the marriage.
124** Invoked during Tyrion's trial [[spoiler:for regicide. Shae gives false testimony that Sansa Stark had refused to sleep with him unless he murdered King Joffrey. Instead it was Tyrion who refused to sleep with Sansa because she was being forced to marry him and it was akin to rape in his eyes.]]
125** Queen Margaery does a low-key version with King Tommen. She gives sex, just [[InsatiableNewlyweds not as much as he wants]], so he's always eager for her and thus more easy to manipulate.
126* In an episode of ''Series/GilligansIsland'', when the women feel they're being unfairly treated, Mrs. Howell tells Ginger and Mary Anne about how Lysistrata "convinced all the women in her town ''to ignore the men completely'' until they got what they wanted," giving her husband a look to let everyone know exactly what the emphasis on "completely" means. What exactly that implies about the after-hours activities of the castaways is mind-blowing.
127* Done gender-flipped on ''Series/GossipGirl''. Chuck refuses to have sex with Blair until she can say those [[ArcWords three words, eight letters]].
128* ''Series/GreysAnatomy'':
129** Christina does this to Owen for one episode but for a slightly different reason. Owen has been asked by the Chief to pick the next Chief Resident. Christina was upset because Owen would likely avoid picking her because of their marriage. So her goal in this case is to avoid letting sex cloud Owen's judgment (i.e. she wants for him to think of her as a doctor rather than his wife). He ends up picking someone else anyway. She's initially upset but cools down after he tells her that a Chief Resident is primarily a managerial position, and all Christina wants to do is be a great surgeon. Later on, both of them are shown to be extremely lustful, doing it at any time of day in almost any room in the hospital until ''Owen'' finally tells her they have to do stop doing that.
130** Lexi also tells this to Alex at one point but only because he's been treating her like crap that episode. She even tells him that she wants sex but not at the expense of her self-esteem.
131** Notably averted for most of the characters. AllWomenAreLustful is in play here.
132* In the ''Series/HereComeTheBrides'' episode "The Stand Off," the women of Seattle are sick of seeing their men get beaten up by Stempel's goons, so they all agree to withhold all forms of affection, from sex to hand-holding, until the loggers can come to some kind of agreement with Stempel.
133* ''Series/HowIMetYourMother'': Gender-flipped in an episode where Marshall withholds sex from Lily until she starts treating Ted a little better. This is played as a ridiculous, futile gesture in the same way that most other stories do when a man tries to withhold. [[OutOfCharacterMoment Bizarrely]], elsewhere in the show's run Lily has been portrayed as every bit as sexual as Marshall (if not more so), to the extent that she developed the shakes upon going a few ''weeks'' without.
134* ''Series/InterviewWithTheVampire2022'': In "[[Recap/InterviewWithTheVampire2022S1E5AVileHungerForYourHammeringHeart A Vile Hunger for Your Hammering Heart]]", Louis de Pointe du Lac withholds sex from his boyfriend Lestat as payback for the latter's cruel ToughLove stance during the Charlie incident which drove their vampire daughter Claudia away.
135* Happens in an episode of ''Series/LittleMosqueOnThePrairie'' with specific reference to the Greek story, though Sarah finds the lack of sex at least as difficult as her husband does.
136* In the Turkish historical soap ''Series/MagnificentCentury'', Hurrem has been Suleiman's ''haseki'' for over a decade, and has given him several children. She is however [[ValuesDissonance still his slave]], and is expected to [[HappinessInSlavery be content]] as she has apparently achieved all she can within the harem and is already honoured above all others by Suleiman. Hurrem very sneakily convinces Suleiman to free her by complaining that she cannot undertake charitable works within Istanbul due to her status as a slave, and then refuses to lie with him any longer because as a free Muslim woman, it would be a sin for her to do so. Everyone in the palace thinks that she's overplayed her hand, believing that Suleiman will never marry her (which is the only way they could have sex again) due to her status as a former slave and the traditions of the harem, and she will swiftly fall from favour due to the ploy and her absence from Suleiman's bed... however, it turns out [[ManipulativeBastard she hasn't overplayed her hand at all]], and she becomes the first legal wife of an Ottoman sultan in over two hundred years.
137* ''Series/MarriedWithChildren'':
138** Inverted: on numerous occasions, Peggy uses ''having'' sex as a punishment when Al does something wrong.
139** When Marcy was married to Steve, there is an episode where Steve comes back from a camping trip and plans to keep his beard. Marcy absolutely hates it and pulls this gambit to make Steve shave the beard. As the episode goes on, both are showing signs of sexual frustration, but in the end, Steve shaves his beard (StatusQuoIsGod after all).
140* Subverted and played with in Series/{{Martin}}. Both Gina and Martin make a bet with Pam that they both can go without sex for a week to prove that their relationship is more than just physical. ''Both'' end up on edge as a result and ''both'' try to [[ShowSomeLeg sabotage the other]] into giving up.
141* ''Series/{{MASH}}'':
142** A season one episode of features all the females in the unit withholding intimacy of any sort from the men of the unit until one of the men agrees to be "close" with a clumsy virgin nurse due to be discharged in a few weeks. (It's never explicitly stated that Margaret was in on the plot, although Frank seems rather downcast and meets with the other men about the issue.)
143** Several other episodes have Margaret cutting Frank off in this manner when she's pissed at him about something.
144* Susan on ''Series/MyFamily'' actually went through with this once, when she found out that Ben had ripped off the poem he claimed to have written for her. It then subverted how it's supposed to go, with Susan getting tetchier by the day, and giving us this:
145-->'''Susan:''' It's all right, honey. Mummy's just been under a lot of stress... at work.\
146'''Michael:''' Oh, I thought it was because [[DeadpanSnarker Mummy and Daddy weren't getting any]].
147* Inverted as a joke in the ''Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000'' riffing of ''Film/MerlinsShopOfMysticalWonders'', wherein Mike asks if Merlin's wife just threatened him with sex if he didn't go out and look for a stolen item.
148* This trope is invoked with alarming frequency in the later episodes of ''Series/MyWifeAndKids''.It should be noted that this was about the time Creator/DamonWayans [[CreatorBreakdown got divorced.]]
149* At the advice of her mother, Fran attempts this with Maxwell on ''Series/TheNanny'' during one of their first arguments as husband and wife, but ends up being so turned on by him that she gives up before the first night ends.
150* On ''Series/NewGirl'', when Jess tries to bond with Coach by being a Pistons fan, Nick objects based on the rivalry with his team, the Bulls. When she refuses to give up her scheme, he declares he's "turning off the tap". Things escalate between them until she retaliates by declaring she's turning off ''her'' tap. In the end, they both cave simultaneously, him in a Pistons' jersey, her in a Bulls'.
151* Male-to-female example: threatened by Michael to his boss/romantic partner Jan in the American version of ''Series/{{The Office|US}}'', much to general astonishment. Also notable that what he's demanding is completely unethical, and a perfect illustration of why employer/employee relationships like theirs are [[StarCrossedLovers forbidden by the company]]. Their relationship is a complete inversion of the traditional TV relationship. She outranks him (at first), she's in it for the sex, even though she knows he's a boorish idiot because she can't help herself and he's in it because he wants a wife and kids. Given that he gets that pay raise, it seems like it worked.
152-->'''Michael:''' We're gonna play it like this? You give me a good raise or no more sex. ''[turns to Toby]'' What are you writing, perv-ball?\
153'''[[TheChewToy Toby]]:''' Just preparing for the deposition.
154* ''Series/PrivatePractice'':
155** Addison does this to [[spoiler:Sam]] after they disagree about a comatose patient whose husband has been having sex with her. Addison thinks it's a crime equivalent to rape, while [[spoiler:Sam]] is of a different opinion. When [[spoiler:Sam]] tries to point out that their personal and professional lives and relationships have to be separate, she disagrees and kicks him out. Several characters try to point out to Addison that [[spoiler:Sam]] has a right to his own ''medical'' opinion. Addison's usual answer is "I'm right, and he's wrong". In the end, they reconcile, but not because [[spoiler:Sam]] admits to being wrong. In fact, he thinks Addison is the wrong one and wants to yell at her for calling the cops of the husband... but he'll do that the next day at work to avoid being a hypocrite. Additionally, [[spoiler:Sam]] is more concerned with what Addison's behavior is doing to their relationship, although he still wants sex.
156** Charlotte also occasionally does this to Cooper. It only works because Cooper is a sex addict, although Charlotte is also constantly horny.
157* A legendary ''Series/SaturdayNightLive'' Weekend Update sketch from 1978 involved Jane Curtin proposing that all women withhold oral sex from all men until the Equal Rights Amendment passed. She backed down when Bill Murray pointed out that "oral sex is a sword that cuts both ways".
158* ''Series/{{Scrubs}}'':
159** The episode "[[MusicalEpisode My Musical]]", after Carla and Turk's fight at hand gets derailed by his confusion of her ethnicity and the fight devolves into an increasingly antagonistic Tango. ([[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SsorXfwfA9g Have at You]])
160--->'''Turk:''' Babe, you know I know the truth.\
161'''Carla:''' Well I need a little proof... so list all you know about me or no sex again.
162** At one point, Turk threatens to do the same to Carla. The simple response is something along the lines of "Like THAT'll work!".
163** Thankfully she's the only one like that, and in a later episode, she is told by an elderly couple that things like that ruin marriages.
164** Carla is so bad that ''Elliot'' has the power to withhold sex from Turk just by being friends with her.
165** Twisted elsewhere in the series by Jordan and Dr. Cox. In order to get him to do what she wants, Jordan threatens to stop having sex with him and start "making love" to him.
166** Elliot and Keith go through a big fight (instigated by a bored Jordan) and she goes so far as to email him a video of her ''pole dancing'' to show him what he's missing.
167* An episode of ''Series/TheSecretLifeOfTheAmericanTeenager'' has nearly all the girls in school agreeing to take matters into their own hands and not sleep with the guys as an act of revenge against their philandering (or perceived to be cheating/thinking about cheating) boyfriends. It doesn't last, though.
168* On ''Series/SportsNight'', Natalie threatens Jeremy with this during a fight ("There will be no 'precious moments' tonight, if you know what I mean. No 'precious moments' of any kind.") When Dan suggests that Jeremy retaliate...
169-->'''Dan:''' You can't just forgive her right away. There needs to be punishment.\
170'''Jeremy:''' What kind of punishment?\
171'''Dan:''' I'd withhold sex.\
172'''Jeremy:''' That sounds like it would be a lot worse for me than it would be for her.\
173'''Dan:''' Education ain't easy.\
174'''Jeremy:''' You don't know what the hell you're talking about, do you?\
175'''Dan:''' On this? No.
176* ''Series/StepByStep'' used this trope a ''lot'', though often {{inverted}} in that Carol was far more fond of promising lots of sex if she got her way than she was of threatening to withhold it if she didn't.
177* ''Series/That70sShow'':
178** An episode plays with this. Eric and Donna have an argument over something involving politics of the era, and both decide to withhold sex from the other until one of them conceded that he/she wanted it more, thereby losing their political debate. Near the end, they get really steamy but Donna backs out claiming that as a woman, she can get too really horny and then turn it off at will, causing Eric to admit defeat. Seconds later, she marches back into the room while really horny and says, "Oh thank God, I was bluffing."
179** At one point Donna also asks her mother, [[TheDitz Midge]], if it's ethical to do this just to get them to do something. Midge is astonished that the option existed ("You can ''do'' that?") and offers no valuable advice at all. ("Who cares? I'm getting the bathroom repainted!")
180** Jackie and Donna have a conversation where they agree it's really important men don't understand that women want sex just as much as guys do. Cut to Hyde and Eric getting high in Eric's basement, and Hyde suggesting, "You know, I think women like sex just as much as we do." Eric laughs and dismisses it as another one of Hyde's "crazy conspiracy theories."
181* Helen once tried this on Stanley on ''Series/ThreesCompany''. Of course, Stanley being who he is, it didn't work.
182* In an episode of ''Series/TooCloseForComfort'', Murial threatens to stop cooking dinner for Henry "among other things." Subverted when Henry tells her he can go out to eat... "among other things."
183* In the ''Series/WantedDeadOrAlive'' episode "To The Victor," Josh Randall's problem is a town where the women (led by Liz, the daughter of Sheriff Strata - [[MeaningfulName get it?]]) withhold themselves from the men in a protest against guns. After an attack on the town which they can't protect themselves against, the women give in [[spoiler: unaware that Josh had arranged for the attack]].
184* Subverted in the sitcom ''Series/TheWarAtHome'', in which Dave (the father of the household) and Vicky (his wife) are in the middle of an argument. Dave antagonistically assumes that she's going to withhold sex from him, but she instantly shoots the idea down, remarking that she wouldn't want to deny herself and claiming that she had something else in mind.
185* In ''Series/TheWindsors'', Camilla withholds sex from Charles to get him to agree to host a dinner for the Chinese president, which he originally refused to do because of a [[{{Hypocrite}} hypocritical]] stance on the environment. He gives in very quickly.
186[[/folder]]
187
188[[folder:Music]]
189* A less obnoxious version comes from Music/JohannSebastianBach's "Coffee {{Cantata}}" (formally titled ''Schweigt stille, plaudert nicht''): the main character is a young woman who [[MustHaveCaffeine loves coffee so much]] that it worries her father, and he tries to bribe her into quitting by finding suitors for her. She then secretly tells each suitor that she will only marry him if he lets her [[MustHaveCaffeine keep drinking coffee]] (in essence, "You will ''never'' touch this unless you promise never to touch my joe").
190* "No Sugar Tonight" by Music/TheGuessWho is an example of this, apparently inspired by an actual conversation between a would-be mugger and his partner when she caught him trying to mug a member of the band.
191* Music/MelanieMartinez song "Cake" is about a sexual relationship without emotional meaning. The singer is tired of this and offers this solution to earn some respect from her partner.
192* The song [[http://www.thefump.com/fump.php?id=47 "Raking the Lawn"]] by Possible Oscar has:
193-->''How can I enjoy the game if I go outside?\
194She tells me to move my ass\
195Or there'll be no action tonight''
196* Music/MeghanTrainor's "Dear Future Husband" implies this is happening, with sex being used as a reward for ''apologizing to the girlfriend who's in the wrong''. This song isn't ironic.
197* Music/{{Pink}} slips this gem into her song "My Signature Move":
198--> ''You said I needed to change''
199--> ''I did, I went and tried a different outfit''
200--> ''And if that's not enough''
201--> ''You won't be ridin' dirty tonight''
202* An example PlayedForDrama happens in "Paradise by the Dashboard Light" by Music/MeatLoaf: two teens are getting it on in the back of a car, only for the girl to stop the proceedings and refuses to let the boy go all the way with her unless he promises to marry her and stay with her forever. The boy in understandably reluctant, but his desire to lose his virginity eventually overrides his common sense and he makes the RashPromise to "love [her] 'til the end of time."
203
204[[/folder]]
205
206[[folder:Myths & Religion]]
207* All the Abrahamic religions have passages saying a married couple should not do this.
208** In [[Literature/BookOfCorinthians 1st Corinthians 7:5]] of Literature/TheBible, Paul the apostle both [[DefiedTrope defies]] and [[{{Deconstruction}} deconstructs]] the trope, telling the Christian couples in regards to sex, "Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control."
209** In [[Literature/BookOfExodus Exodus chapter 19]], Moses commanded the men of Israel to go on a sexual fast and not come near their wives in preparation for the "third day" when the Lord would meet with His people on Mount Sinai.
210** A similar passage in Literature/TheQuran damns wives who do this. On the other hand, a husband who fails to satisfy his wife in bed prior to satisfying himself is equally guilty. That's right: Muslim men are ''required'' to go down on their wives. Still, passage "4:34" advises men to punish disobedient wives by withdrawing sex (for up to 4 months, according to "2:226") and with beatings.
211** The Torah lists that a husband should not deprive his wife of food, clothing, or "marital privileges", and that doing so was grounds for a divorce on her end. Withholding sex was considered abandonment.
212* GenderFlipped in [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Navajo_mythology#The_Separation_of_Men_and_Women a Navajo myth]]. After First Man was insulted by First Woman, the men collectively do this to the women to make them sorry[[note]]Depending on who tells the story, the insult may have been First Woman's insinuation that the men only ever did anything because of this trope[[/note]]. (They move away from the women and stop cooperating with them entirely, but lack of sex is explicitly an important part of the punishment.) It works, but not before making ''both'' genders miserable[[note]] People become... uh, [[ExtremeOmnisexual lonely]], which resulted in the creation of the monsters that the hero twins [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin Monster Slayer]] and [[SensitiveGuyAndManlyMan Born For Water]] then had to kill[[/note]]. It is interesting to note, perhaps, that while not strictly matriarchal, Navajo culture does put most of the political and financial power (usually associated with men) in the hands of the tribe's women.
213[[/folder]]
214
215[[folder:Theatre]]
216* ''The Happiest Girl in the World'' (1961) is a Broadway musical based on ''Theatre/{{Lysistrata}}''.
217* Blake Morrison's play, ''Lisa's Sex Strike'', is a version of ''Theatre/{{Lysistrata}}'' set in modern England.
218* ''Theatre/{{Lysistrata}}'', the TropeNamer, is an UnbuiltTrope version, in that it applies equally to both genders. The title character tries to end the [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peloponnesian_War Peloponnesian War]] by getting women from ''both'' sides (Athens and Sparta, in this case) to withhold sex until peace reigns again. (Well, they also seize control of the city treasuries, but who cares about ''that''?) This is laughed at by the men: AllWomenAreLustful, so Lysistrata's sex strike shouldn't last five minutes. But the women manage to [[ValuesDissonance transcend their own base natures]], bringing the men to heel (it helps that the whole reason the women are upset in the first place is that they want the men to be home having sex with ''them'', not going off to war). The result? Peace throughout Greece... Well, in RealLife the war went on for around eight more years, but it was a nice thought.\
219This works of course because ALL the women agree to it. Sure enough, peace happens, followed by an actual onstage orgy. At least that's how it was performed at the time. (The play was most often performed during the Dionysia, during which the entire city was always at least a little bit tipsy and people were encouraged to let their hair down). Notably, both men and women were ''immediately'' desperate for sex as soon as the strike started. Most of the play's humor (what didn't come from regional stereotypes, anyway), was based on the antics of people from either side trying to get laid.
220** The original play acknowledges a dark reality that most versions of this trope don't need to: the men's MaritalRapeLicense. The women's fallback plan for if they exercise it is to [[LieBackAndThinkOfEngland Lie Back And Think Of Greece]], on the theory that the men want enthusiastic partners when they have sex with their wives, and will find the experience of raping them so unsatisfying that it will be as effective as no sex at all for the sake of this trope.
221* ''Lysistrata Jones'' is another Broadway Musical based on ''Theatre/{{Lysistrata}}'' (2011), based in a high school and featuring cheerleaders and a basketball team as the leads.
222* In ''Theatre/TheMerchantOfVenice'', Portia and Nerissa, in male disguise, trick their new husbands out of the rings that they had made them promise never to take off. Later they mess with them further by acting furious and refusing to come into bed with them until they see the rings. (In the end, they hand them back the rings and admit to everything, and all is happy once more.)
223* In ''The Opposite Sex'' by David Tristram, a woman threatens her husband with "no sex for a year", only for him to snark back that he's getting so little sex from her he wouldn't miss out on much.
224[[/folder]]
225
226[[folder:Video Games]]
227* ''VideoGame/DeerAvenger'' did this with Furries -- [[WesternAnimation/{{Bambi}} Bam]][[Franchise/{{Rambo}} bo]] is a deer whose wife told him she will not let him touch her until he gets rid of all hunters in the forest. Bambo takes a gun and does this.
228* ''VideoGame/GrandTheftAutoSanAndreas'', in one of the commercials. "I want a new fence! That's IT! We're never having sex AGAIN!"
229* ''VideoGame/SummertimeSaga'': MC can pull one on Melonia Rump, the vapid TrophyWife of the town's mayor. If he gets her pregnant, the only way to convince her to keep it is by threatening to stop having sex with her. She immediately agrees but ignores the child when it is born and hands it off to her RobotMaid.
230[[/folder]]
231
232[[folder:Web Comics]]
233%%* [[http://xninjared.deviantart.com/art/Lysistrata-Gambit-152865735 This comic]] shows you why this trope is a bad idea.
234* Male-to-male example: Harley in ''Webcomic/BoyMeetsBoy'' threatens not to have sex with his boyfriend Mikhael unless the latter buys him a [=PS2=].
235* In ''Webcomic/ClanOfTheCats'', Jubal threatens to withhold sex from a shape-shifted Chelsea in heat when she breaks off the amulet that helps control her shape-changing. It ends with him observing, "Never argue with a [=PMSing=] panther."
236* Aversion: Ben and Lily of ''Webcomic/GoblinHollow'' specifically agreed ''never'' to do this to each other, as they consider it immature and unlikely to earn sincere apologies. Besides, in Lily's words, when a friend asks her why she didn't withhold sex after Ben did something which upset her, "Hey, it ain't like ''I'' did anything wrong."
237* ''Webcomic/KarinDou4koma'': When Aiina visits, she decides to withhold sex while walking around in a NakedApron and such until Elza properly answers Mifi's feelings. By the time Aiina departs, Elza is wandering around aimlessly with bloodshot eyes.
238* [[http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2002/11/6/the-money-problem/ In one strip]] of ''Webcomic/PennyArcade'', the duo are trying to raise money for an expensive game with a custom controller, and, well:
239-->'''Tycho:''' I've been charging Brenna for sex.\
240'''Gabe:''' No shit. How's that going?\
241'''Tycho:''' I'm ''flat fucking broke''.
242* In one strip of ''Webcomic/QuestionableContent'', a female member of a newly formed rock band uses this to force her boyfriend (also a member of the band) to support her choice of band name.
243* ''Webcomic/TimesLikeThis'': Agent Scott's wife [[http://timeslikethis.com/?id=356 isn't above using this tactic to get him on board with Cassie's current scheme]].
244[[/folder]]
245
246[[folder:Western Animation]]
247* Done in song form in ''WesternAnimation/AmericanDad'' during an argument between Francine and Stan about a hot tub he's just purchased.
248-->''I'm your wife, listen to what I say\
249Get rid of that tub, or no boo-tay!''
250* Another G-Rated example on ''WesternAnimation/AvatarTheLastAirbender'': Mai repeatedly refuses to let Zuko touch her while the two of them are having a fight in the BeachEpisode.
251* A few times on ''WesternAnimation/{{Daria}}'', [[DumbBlonde Brittany]] threatens to "get a headache" if [[DumbJock Kevin]] doesn't do something she wants. He never gets what she means, though.
252* In ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons'' episode [[Recap/TheSimpsonsS20E20FourGreatWomenAndAManicure Four Great Women and a Manicure]], Marge forces Homer to kill all of the other Springfielders so that he can can be the best actor in a production of ''Theatre/{{Macbeth}}''. When the ghosts of Homer's victims confront Marge, insisting that it's her fault Homer killed them, Lenny invokes the trope when Marge tries to deflect blame.
253* ''WesternAnimation/SouthPark'' has another G-rated example: in season 20, an Internet {{Troll}} named [=Skankhunt42=] begins harassing all the girls at school, leading them to [[DisproportionateRetribution believe all of the boys at the school shared the troll's opinions on women]]. When the boys' attempt to find and stop the troll fail, the girls all break up with their boyfriends ''en masse'', leaving nearly every boy in school crying on the floor[[note]]The only exceptions being Cartman, who is actually one of the victims of the boys' misguided attempts at stopping the troll, and whose girlfriend is so alienated from the other girls she isn't in on their plan; Tweek and Craig, who are a gay couple; and Kyle, seemingly the only single boy in the school, though he still ends up crying, but [[VitriolicBestBuds out of guilt for having blamed and attacked Cartman]][[/note]]. By the end of the season, this situation does not change.
254[[/folder]]

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