Line #66 Main/LightBulbJoke


1	->''"How many members of a specified ethnic demographic does it take to change a light bulb?"\
2	"Ten-- one to screw in the light bulb and nine to act in a manner stereotypical of their ethnicity."''
3
4	Long ago, this {{Stock Joke\|s}} involved mocking other groups, but today it is used almost exclusively for playful SelfDeprecation of the idiosyncrasies characteristic of (or associated with) one's own social group or hobby group.
5
6	The common format is "How many (group of people) does it take to change a light bulb? X+1. 1 to change the bulb, and X to (humorous caricature of group)."
7
8	Another is a means to accuse them of {{Pride}}: "How many (people) does it take to change a lightbulb? One. He holds it up, and the universe revolves about him to screw it in."
9
10	Take ourselves as tropers:
11	::'''Q''' How many tropers does it take to change a light bulb?\
12	'''A''' One, but someone will put the old bulb back with a Administrivia/JustifyingEdit.
13
14	Another example:
15	::'''Q''' How many tropers does it take to change a light bulb?\
16	'''A''' One screws in the lightbulb, while nine others mark the ways he was similar to other [[ImaginedInnuendo lightbulb screwers]].
17
18	Or even:
19	::'''Q''' How many tropers does it take to change a light bulb?\
20	'''A''' One screws in the light bulb, another one holds the door if it's the light bulb of the Fridge, and a third one comes later to hang a lampshade on it.
21
22	It also has many variations (including noting the pun of "[[DoubleEntendre screw]]").
23	::'''Q''' How many tropers does it take to screw in a light bulb?\
24	'''A''' Only two, but it would have to be a really big bulb.
25
26	The original joke is in some danger of being a ForgottenTrope:
27	::'''Q''' How many Acceptable Targets does it take to screw in a lightbulb?\
28	'''A''' Two, one to hold the bulb, and one to turn the ladder.
29
30	Of course this joke shows up in fiction as well, and examples here should be limited to such. It's generally acknowledged as a sign that the character doesn't know any better jokes. It's also a good candidate for an [[OrphanedPunchline Orphaned Feed Line]].
31
32	In SpeculativeFiction, the exact format of the joke may be altered slightly to allow for the [[HoldYourHippogriffs lack of light bulbs]].
33
34	Compare KnockKnockJoke.
35	----
36	!!Examples in fiction:
37
38	[[foldercontrol]]
39
40	[[folder:Advertising]]
41	* There was an ad for fluorescent bulbs, bragging about lasting seven years. There's a kid who was newborn when the bulb was put in, and near the end of those seven years, he doesn't get a light bulb joke, saying "Change a light bulb? Why would anybody need to change a light bulb?"
42	* A series of Volkswagen ads once featured a terrible German-accented comedian. The gag is to imply that while [[GermanicDepressives Germans are bad comedians]], they're [[GermanicEfficiency great engineers]]:
43	-->'''Q:''' How many German engineers duz it take to change a light bulb?
44	-->'''A:''' None, if it haz ben manufactured properly.
45	-->''[{{beat}}]''
46	-->Zank you, I'll be here all ze week.
47	[[/folder]]
48
49	[[folder:Anime and Manga]]
50	* ''Webcomic/HetaliaAxisPowers'':
51	** In one strip, [[MoeAnthropomorphism Poland]] asks Lithuania for help changing a lightbulb. When Lithuania asks why Poland isn't able to do so on his own, he tells Lithuania that he needs to turn the table while he holds the lightbulb in place. Most likely a ShoutOut to the original joke.
52	** The series also does this with [[https://web.archive.org/web/20120522132051/http://hetarchive.net/scanlations/comicdiary.php?sfn Greece.]]
53	* ''Manga/BlackLagoon'' does this when Rock tries to entertain Revy while they're running errand around town. [[HairTriggerTemper Unfortunately, Revy knows all his jokes, which almost results in a car crash.]]
54	-->'''Rock:''' Okay, how many Polacks does it take to change a lightbulb?
55	-->'''Revy:''' I'm guessing one to hold the lightbulb, and 99 to turn the house, isn't that it?
56	-->'''Rock:''' Um... er... let's see. So, the Pope says to the guy who dressed like he's homeless...
57	-->'''Revy:''' Yeah, "I thought I told you to get out of here yesterday". Yeah, good one. Do me a favor and just shut up and drive, will ya?!
58	* Played with in ''Anime/DragonBallZ''
59	-->'''King Kai:''' Hey Goku, how many Super Saiyans does it take to change a lightbulb?
60	-->'''Goku:''' How many?
61	-->'''King Kai:''' There's no telling, but it only takes one to beat Frieza!
62	[[/folder]]
63
64	[[folder:Comic Books]]
65	* ''ComicBook/TeenTitansGo'': Mumbo Jumbo asks "How many magicians does it take to change a lightbulb?" and answers "Depends what you want it changed to!"
66	* ''ComicBook/BatmanWhiteKnight'': Back when he tried to be a comedian, [[Characters/BatmanTheJoker Jack Napier]] had one where he asked "how many [=GCPD=] does it take to change a light bulb?". The answer is "it only takes a Batman!".
67	* The 130th issue of ''ComicBook/GIJoeARealAmericanHeroMarvel'' had a pair of Eel guards tell a light bulb joke, only to be interrupted by an attack from Dojo and Storm Shadow.
68	-->'''Eel 1''': Hey, I heard a good one-- How many Night-Vipers does it take to change a light bulb?
69	-->'''Eel 2''': I give up. How many--
70	-->'''Dojo''': None, you dummy! Night-Vipers can see in the dark!
71	* Issue 97 of ''ComicBook/WonderWoman1987'' has the Joker tell a lightbulb joke about the Amazons, stating that it takes twelve to change the lightbulb (one to hold the lightbulb and eleven to make the first one feel really good about herself). Diana later does a lightbulb joke at the Joker's expense during her resolve, stating that it takes five Jokers (one to break the lightbulb and four to run around killing everyone so that it doesn't matter if there is light).
72	[[/folder]]
73
74	[[folder:Fanfic]]
75	* [[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/604808/1/How-many-Hufflepuffs How many Hufflepuffs]] (and everyone else) does it take to light up a wand?
76	* ''Fanfic/InfightingInsanityAndSocialIneptitude'': Courtesy of Russel- How many [members] of [team] Yarrow does it take to screw in a lightbulb? All four. They can't touch anything without surrounding it first (for context- this is in the Vytal tournament, and the team in question had ganged up on [[CatGirl Blake]]).
77	* ''WesternAnimation/TheLoudHouse'':
78	** ''Fanfic/TheNightmareHouse'' has [[WesternAnimation/TheLoudHouse Luan Loud]] make the joke "How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but it has to want to change."
79	** ''Fanfic/LincolnsMemories'': In "Lincoln's Seventh Birthday", Luan jokes, "How many cats does it take to change a lightbulb? None-- cats have night vision."
80	[[/folder]]
81
82	[[folder:Film -- Animated]]
83	* From ''WesternAnimation/ABugsLife'': "How many roaches does it take to screw in a light bulb? Can't tell. As soon as the light goes on, they scatter."
84	* A rather dark example of playing with this trope occurs in Disney's ''WesternAnimation/{{Mulan}}.'' Shan Yu dispatches two captured enemy scouts to deliver his warning to the emperor. After the two have already started to run away, Shan Yu casually asks an archer, "How many men does it take to deliver a message?" The answer the archer gives us is "one" and a drawn bowstring, implying that one of the scouts was murdered because he was unnecessary.
85	[[/folder]]
86
87	[[folder:Film -- Live-action]]
88	* In ''Film/TheHitchhikersGuideToTheGalaxy2005'', one of the questions proposed to the ultimate answer of Life, Universe, and Everything (JustForFun/FortyTwo) is that "How many vogons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"
89	* ''Film/LookWhosTalking'' included this exchange at the park:
90	--> '''Mikey''': How many babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?\
91	'''Park Baby 1''': How many?\
92	'''Mikey''': What's a light bulb?\
93	''(Mikey and Park Baby 1 laugh.)''\
94	'''Park Baby 2''': [[ComicallyMissingThePoint I don't get it.]]
95	* ''Film/RaisingArizona'' has Glen, who tells a "Pollack" joke in this variety, but he's [[HypocriticalHumor so dumb that he bungles it completely]]. First he asks, "How many Pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?" and answers "Three!" before bursting into laughter. After a moment, he announces he's told it wrong and starts again: "Why does it take three Pollacks to screw in a light bulb?" He answers, "Cuz they're so darn ''stupid''!" HI just stares blankly at him as he guffaws again.
96	* In ''Film/TheAirUpThere'', the Winabi are the subject of many jokes by the rest of Kenya, including a cow joke.
97	-->'''Q''': How many Winabi does it take to milk a cow?\
98	'''A''': Twenty. One to hold the udder, and nineteen to lift the cow up and down.
99	* Elisha from ''Film/ColorMePerfect'' tells one at a party.
100	-->'''Q''': How many scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?\
101	'''A''': One to screw in the bulb, one to write the report, and two to apply for the grant.
102	[[/folder]]
103
104	[[folder:Literature]]
105	* In ''Literature/EarthGirl'' by Janet Edwards, lightbulb jokes are a bit of a rediscovered fad among archaeologists ever since one dug up a book of them in an old city.
106	* The Literature/{{Discworld}} novel ''Literature/{{Sourcery}}'' has [[HoldYourHippogriffs lamp-wick jokes]] (no [[Literature/TheAdventuresOfPinocchio relation]]):
107	-->'Do you know any lamp-wick jokes?' he said, settling himself comfortably on the sand.\
108	'I don't think so,' said Nijel politely, tapping a slab.\
109	'I know hundreds. They are very droll. For example, do you know how many trolls it takes to change a lamp-wick?'\
110	'This slab moves,' said Nijel. 'Look, it's a sort of door. Give me a hand.'
111	* ''[[Literature/TheNeanderthalParallax Hominids]]'' by Robert Sawyer is about a Neanderthal scientist from a parallel universe who falls into our universe as the result of a lab accident. A news dump at the beginning of one of its chapters has:
112	-->'''Q''': How many Neanderthals does it take to change a light bulb? \
113	'''A''': All of them.
114	* From Creator/LarryNiven's ''Literature/KnownSpace'' stories:
115	-->'''Q''' How many [[HeavyWorlder Jinxians]][[note]]Short but freakishly strong race[[/note]] does it take to paint a skyscraper?
116	-->'''A''' Five, one to hold the can of spray paint and four to shake the building up and down.
117	* ''Franchise/StarWarsExpandedUniverse'':
118	** Jacen Solo, in his humor-loving young Jedi apprentice days, attempted to piss off some Imperial captors with the question "How many stormtroopers does it take to [[HoldYourHippogriffs change a glowpanel]]?"
119	---> Two, one to change it and the other to shoot him and take the credit.
120	** One from ''Literature/IJedi'' (Said by Corellian [[SelfDeprecation Corran Horn]] as the capstone to a [[WrongInsultOffense Cyrano routine]]):
121	---> How many Corellians does it take to change a glowpanel?\
122	None, it's easier to cheat at Sabacc in the dark.
123	** To say nothing of one devised by one of the "Star Wars Kids" magazines:
124	--->How many Wookiees does it take to change a lightbulb?\
125	Ten. One to hold the bulb, and nine to turn the house around.
126	* ''Yendi'', one of the books in Steven Brust's Literature/{{Dragaera}} series, has "How many X does it take to sharpen a sword?" jokes, where X is one of the Dragaeran Houses.
127	-->How many [[ProudWarriorRaceGuy Dzur]] does it take to sharpen a sword?\
128	Four: one to sharpen the sword and three to put up enough of a fight to make it worthwhile.
129	-->How many Yendi does it take to sharpen a sword? \
130	Three: one to sharpen the sword and one to confuse the issue.
131	** [[https://web.archive.org/web/20061009211129/https://www.speakeasy.org/~mamandel/Cracks-and-Shards/swordjokes.txt This]] has a bunch more Dragaeran sword-sharpening jokes written by fans. The PlanetOfHats setting really lends to them.
132	-->How many [[NoSenseOfHumor Dragonlords]] does it take to sharpen a sword?\
133	One. This is not a joke.
134	** Vlad also pulls one about Easterners that probably counts as the FantasticRacism form of NWordPrivileges:
135	-->How many Easterners does it take to sharpen a sword?\
136	Four: three to turn the grindstone and one to hold the sword.
137	* ''Literature/ASongOfIceAndFire'' even gets in on the act, with "shoe a horse" instead of "change a lightbulb." For example, Q: "How many Dornishmen does it take to shoe a horse?" A: "Five, one to do the shoeing, and four to lift the horse". This becomes an IronicEcho when The Red Viper, the most notorious Dornishman of them all, comes on the scene.
138	-->''How many Dornishman does it take to start a war?'' Tyrion thought. ''One.''
139	* The book [[http://www.michaeldemeritt.com/ "Poetry and Prose from the Director's Ass."]] ends with multiple Light bulb jokes about workers (such as Production Assistants, teamsters, stunt people, etc) in television based upon the author's experience as an Assistant Director on ''Franchise/StarTrek''.
140	* In Creator/JohnMFord's ''Franchise/StarTrek'' novels, it's transtator jokes.
141	** ''Literature/TheFinalReflection'': How many Romulans does it take to change a transtator coil? Answer: 1 to change the coil, 150 to blow the ship up out of shame.
142	** ''Literature/HowMuchForJustThePlanet'': How many Vulcans does it take to change a transtator? Answer: One to change the transtator and one to ask what's so funny.
143	* Brazilian comedy group ''Casseta & Planeta'' had this: "How many gorillas are needed to change a light bulb?" "One. But you'll need something about seventy light bulbs."
144	* Creator/{{Dave Barry}}'s column "Why Humor is funny" alludes to lightbulb jokes when discussing a the history of humour. He starts with a joke that was translated on an Egyptian tomb:
145	-->'''He:''' Did you hear about the Sumerian?\
146	'''She:''' No, what about the Sumerian?\
147	'''He:''' He was extremely stupid! Ha ha!\
148	'''She:''' No, I had not heard about him.\
149	This, of course, is a primitive version of the modern "ethnic joke", though it has become much more sophisticated in recent years thanks to such innovations as the light bulb.
150	* A joke about Creator/LionelFanthorpe (who was known for the incredible amount of {{Padding}} he used once he realised that Badger Books was rather more concerned about their books being a set length than the actual contents) that Creator/DavidLangford has quoted a few times goes "How many Fanthorpe pseudonyms does it take to change a lightbulb, to replace it, to reinstate it, to substitute for it, to swap it, to exchange it, to renew it, to supersede or supplant it, to provide a proxy, to put another in its stead, to... ?" No-one has stuck around long enough to learn the answer
151	[[/folder]]
152
153	[[folder:Live-Action TV]]
154	* ''Series/BabylonFive'':
155	** One told by Sheridan, with a somewhat [[BlackComedy black]] undercurrent to it given Earth's initial interactions with the Minbari:
156	-->'''John Sheridan''': How many Minbari does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. They surrender right before they finish the task and they never tell you why.
157	** Another one, in which Londo Mollari pokes semi-bitter fun at his own people's nostalgia for their past:
158	-->'''Mollari''': How many [[VestigialEmpire Centauri]] does it take to screw in a light bulb? Only one. But, in the [[GloryDays grand old days of the Republic]], hundreds of servants would change thousands of light bulbs at our slightest whim!
159	* From ''Series/{{V 1983}}'':
160	-->'''Q:''' How many Visitors does it take to change a light bulb?\
161	'''A:''' None, they ''like'' the dark!
162	* The ''Series/CriminalMinds'' episode "Masterpiece" had Reid telling a joke to a college psychology class when he mentions he was studying philosophy. "How many existentialists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two; one to change the lightbulb, and one to observe how it symbolizes an incandescent beacon of subjectivity in a netherworld of cosmic nothingness." Of course, nobody gets it. (The episode's unsub comes up to him a few minutes later and points out that an existentialist would allow the darkness to exist rather than change the light bulb.)
163	* ''Series/MockTheWeek'':
164	** From "Unlikely Things To Hear In A Sci-Fi Movie" segment:
165	--->'''Creator/EdByrne:''' How many [[Franchise/StarTrek Klingons]] does it take to screw in a lightbulb? - 10. One to change it and the other 9 to chastise him for performing such a menial task when he's a member of a [[ProudWarriorRaceGuy proud warrior race]].
166	** From an 'If This Is the Answer, What Is the Question' segment:
167	--->'''The Answer:''' 1.\
168	'''Milton Jones:''' "In the majority of cases, how many people does it actually take to change a lightbulb?"
169	* From the ''Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000'' episode "The Final Sacrifice".
170	-->'''Crow''': How many geeks does it take to change a lightbulb?\
171	'''Tom''': How many?\
172	'''Crow''': I don't know, that's why I'm asking.
173	* ''Series/ThePretender'': In "Hazards", psychiatrist Sydney, in an unusually good mood, tells the standard psychiatrist light bulb joke. ("One. But the light bulb has to want to change.")
174	* The ''Series/{{Wings}}'' episode "Gone But Not Faygotten" has Fay retire and the Hackett brothers hiring Casey to replace her as Sandpiper's ticket agent. When Fay wants to come back, neither Joe nor Brian has the heart to tell her no, but they can't bring themselves to fire Casey either, so they let them both run the counter, even though the job can easily be handled by one person. Roy comments on the situation.
175	-->'''Roy''': Hey, I got one for you. How many Sandpiper employees does it take to change a light bulb? Four. Two to change the bulb, and two other idiots to pay them for doing it.
176	* In ''Series/RedDwarf'', Kryten is a little unclear on the concept:
177	-->How many mechanoids does it take to change a lightbulb? ... Twelve! ... Do you know why? ... Because they're so stupid!
178	* ''Series/HowIMetYourMother'':
179	** In one episode, Ted has been given the job of choosing the brand of lightbulbs to be used for the GNB headquarters, and worries about what will happen if the one he chooses poorly.
180	--->'''Ted''': Do you know how many people it takes to change fifty thousand lightbulbs?!
181	--->'''Barney''': Are these people Irish? Polish? Blondes? What are we dealing with here?
182	** Also from the episode "Little Minnesota"...."How many Canadians does it take to change a lightbulb?" "Oh, no a light went out!"
183	* One episode of ''Series/NCISLosAngeles'' has Callen undercover as a disgraced sailor under arrest by an MP (played by Sam, also undercover). To keep up his act of pretending to be a jerk, Callen tells the following joke: "How many MP's does it take to change a light bulb? Fifty. One to change the bulb, and forty-nine to stand guard."
184	--> '''Nate:''' [[WorstWhateverEver That is the worst joke I have ever heard.]]
185	* ''Series/TheBigBangTheory'', "The Comic Book Store Regeneration":
186	-->'''Sheldon:''' How many [[UsefulNotes/ThomasEdison Edisons]] does it take to screw in a lightbulb?\
187	'''Amy:''' How many?\
188	'''Sheldon:''' None, because he stole the idea for the lightbulb and doesn't deserve his own joke.[[note]]This is a bit of CommonKnowledge; while Edison did not come up with the idea for the lightbulb, he was the first to make it commercially viable by perfecting a long-lasting filament that enable it to remain lit for more than a few minutes.[[/note]]
189	* ''Series/BigLove'': Margie tells one as a comeback to a possible suitor: "How many male chauvinists does it take to change a lightbulb? It's not the bulb that has to change."
190	* Series/{{Frasier}} starts dating a lawyer and over dinner Martin, a retired police officer, attempts this joke on her claiming they used to tell it all the time at his precinct.
191	-->'''Martin:''' How many lawyers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?\
192	'''Abby:''' I don't know, it depends on how many cops planted it there.
193	* ''Series/TedLasso'': Jade invites Nate to join her in Poland to "help my family screw in lightbulbs". He's not sure if she's joking or not.
194	[[/folder]]
195
196	[[folder:Magazine]]
197	* Creator/SergioAragones once drew a section in ''Magazine/{{MAD}}'' called "A Mad Look at: Racism". One strip showed a bunch of white guys laughing as one of their friends told anti-semitic and anti-Mexican jokes. When he told the "How many Poles does it take to screw a lightbulb..." joke, [[HypocriticalHumor the other guys stop laughing and kick him out of the Polish restaurant.]]
198	[[/folder]]
199
200	[[folder:Music]]
201	* The second movement of Music/PDQBach's choral {{cantata}} "Knock, Knock":
202	-->'''Recitative''': How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?\
203	'''Chorus''': One, but the lightbulb has to really want to change.
204	[[/folder]]
205
206	[[folder:Newspaper Comics]]
207	* ''ComicStrip/{{Dilbert}}'': "How many left-handed Elbonians does it take to screw in a light bulb? None! Left-handed Elbonians don't have light bulbs!" However, few Elbonians even know what light bulbs are.
208	* ''ComicStrip/{{Garfield}}'':
209	** [[http://www.gocomics.com/garfield/1993/01/17 Done in the January 17, 1993 strip]] at a dog hating club.
210	--->'''Garfield:''' How many dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One...if you screw him in real tight!
211	** The January 21, 2002 strip has this exchange:
212	--->'''Garfield:''' Here's a joke, how many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?
213	--->'''Mouse:''' [[DeconstructedTrope Mice don't screw in light bulbs. Light bulbs are much too big and cumbersome, and not to mention that it's much safer for us to pilfer food in the dark]].
214	--->'''Garfield:''' [[LampshadeHanging That joke took a sobering turn]].
215	[[/folder]]
216
217	[[folder:Radio]]
218	%%* ''Radio/APrairieHomeCompanion'' put a [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gDqCMxre7Vk whole string of these together.]]
219	* On March 10, 1995, during Don Daynard's show on CHFI-FM, the hosts told many lightbulb jokes that were apparently sent in by a listener. Someone then sent a complaint to the CRTC about the third joke that was told. The first three jokes are listed below, as per [[https://www.cbsc.ca/decisionsarchive/19-9495/19-9495-0145_PD_E.pdf a document from the Canadian Broadcast Standards Council]]. Other jokes which the document alludes to but didn't document the punchlines for were about surrealists, accountants, "members of the Series/MissionImpossible Force", and gorillas.
220	** "How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb? That’s not funny."
221	** "How many Marxists does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution."
222	** "How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a light bulb? None. That’s all right, I’ll just sit here in the dark."
223	[[/folder]]
224
225	[[folder:Tabletop Games]]
226	* The card game ''TabletopGame/ApplesToApples'' has these as flavor text on all of its nationality cards:
227	**
228	--->"How many Americans does it take to change a lightbulb?"\
229	"Hey! That's not funny! WE'RE SUING!"
230	**
231	--->"How many Canadians does it take to change a lightbulb?"\
232	"10. 9 to chip it out of the ice and one to change the lightbulb."
233	**
234	--->"How many Japanese does it take to change a lightbulb?"\
235	"Who needs lightbulbs when you've got ''our'' technology?"
236	[[/folder]]
237
238	[[folder:Theme Parks]]
239	* ''The Imagineering Field Guide to [[Ride/DisneyThemeParks Disneyland]]'' provides the Disney Imagineers' version of the joke to demonstrate their thought process in coming up with new features for the parks:
240	-->How many Imagineers does it take to screw in a light bulb?\
241	Does it have to be a light bulb?
242	[[/folder]]
243
244	[[folder:Video Games]]
245	* ''VideoGame/GuildWars'': "How many Asuras does it take to screw in a power core? None, they force a human to do it for them!"
246	* ''VideoGame/TheSimsMedieval'', unlike previous Sims games, has text pop up on screen when your Sims Gossip. Two of the messages are jokes along the lines of Lightbulb Jokes poking fun at the game's two religions.
247	-->How many Jacobans does it take to empty a chamberpot?\
248	It depends on the current proclamation.
249	** There's another one, and it does say lightbulb rather than 'light a lamp' or something:
250	-->How many Peterans does it take to change a lightbulb?\
251	Why use a lightbulb when there's a Jacoban Cathedral nearby?
252	* 1997's ''[[VideoGame/WhereInTimeIsCarmenSandiego1997 Where in Time is Carmen Sandiego?]]'' (a.k.a. ''Carmen Sandiego's Great Chase Through Time'') had Good Guide Renée Santz try to tell Mona Lisa a joke ("How many ACME agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?"), to which Mona Lisa replies "What's a light bulb?"
253	** Dee Cryption derisively asks the same question in Thomas Edison's lab when the player has to change one in order to complete a circuit.
254	*** The question is never answered in canon, though it looks like the VILE perspective is "ALL OF THEM. Because that's what it would take for them to get the bulb back from Carmen after she's stolen it."
255	* ''VideoGame/MassEffect3'' has its own variation:
256	-->'''Garrus''': How many humans does it take to [[NoodleIncident activate a dormant]] [[PortalNetwork mass relay]]?\
257	'''Joker''': 602. [[VastBureaucracy 600 to vote on it]], one to ask [[SpaceElves the asari]] for technical help, and one to request a seat on [[TheFederation the Council]] afterwards.
258	* ''VideoGame/ReturnToZork'' features one in an ancient jokebook, as translated by the Mayor of Shanbar.
259	-->Q: How many computer programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?\
260	A: That's a hardware problem!
261	* In the ''VideoGame/TheElderScrollsVSkyrim'' [[GameMod mod,]] ''Uncle Sheogorath's Really Helpful Hints and Tips,'' Uncle Sheogorath shares this bit of wisdom:
262	-->How many Jarls does it take to change an oil lamp? Just one. They're not complete idiots you know. What a strange question.
263	* In ''VideoGame/TheDarksideDetective'', [=McQueen=] attempts to tell Dooley a joke about how many police officers it takes to change a lightbulb, but is defeated by Dooley's literal-mindedness and gives up before delivering the punchline.
264	* ''VideoGame/{{Paladins}}'' has some character use this for their joke emote if you're using the right skin.
265	-->'''Terminus (Jotunn skin)''': "How many humans does it take to decorate a cake? [[BlackComedyCannibalism Twelve and three fourths]]."\
266	'''Barik (Steel Forged skin)''': "How many dwarves does it take to change a lightbulb? Two! One to hold the lightbulb, and the other to drink until the room starts spinning!"
267	* ''VideoGame/NotForBroadcast'': Occurs in the third act of the {{Telethon}} (Graham Bannon insists it's a "horrible joke"):
268	-->Q: How many Graham Bannons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?\
269	A: That depends on the fee.
270	* In ''VideoGame/TheLegendaryStarfy'', saving the Squirts - a group of squids who are comedians - in Hotcha Springs causes one of them to say the following joke:
271	-->''Hey, how many squids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One-tenth of one! HEY-OH! Thank you! We're the Squirts!''
272	[[/folder]]
273
274	[[folder:Webcomics]]
275	* ''Webcomic/DinosaurComics'': T-Rex inverted the trope with "[[http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1145 reverse lightbulb jokes]]" -- he supplies the punchline, and his friends provide the setup, thereby revealing their prejudices and preconceptions.
276	* Lampwick jokes are also featured in the ''[[http://web.archive.org/web/20071009213558/http://www.cheerycomic.co.uk/ch33.html Adventures of Cheery Littlebottom]]'' webcomic.
277	* ''Webcomic/DominicDeegan'' has Donovan crack one off to the orc shaman Thuen Gor: "How many Callanians does it take to install a lamp post? One - he sticks it in the ground [[ItsAllAboutMe and waits for the world to revolve around him]]."
278	* ''Webcomic/IrregularWebcomic'' gives us the formulaic [[http://www.irregularwebcomic.net/1087.html lightbulb joke]].
279	%%* Mitch Clem of ''Webcomic/NothingNiceToSay'' [[http://www.mitchclem.com/mystupidlife/97/ went self-referential]] in his journal comic.
280	* ''Webcomic/CyanideAndHappiness'' has [[http://www.explosm.net/comics/1416/ its own]] variation: one guy asks his friend to help him change a lightbulb, only for the other guy to ask if there's enough of them to do it properly.
281	* ''Webcomic/{{Xkcd}}'': In [[http://xkcd.com/841/ this comic,]] Cueball asks the question "How many audiophiles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?" over a phone, then says they wouldn't be able to appreciate the punchline over the phone with how bad the audio quality is.
282	* ''Webcomic/SchlockMercenary'' had a pair about [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2000-08-13 recalibrating transponders and getting beaten up in a tavern]].
283	* ''Webcomic/{{mezzacotta}}'' [[http://www.mezzacotta.net/archive.php?date=2012-08-31 manages to randomly generate a light bulb joke]].
284	* ''Webcomic/{{Darken}}'': One of the {{Villain Protagonist}}s has, "How many [[ThePaladin Paladins]] does it take to change a candle? One to change it, one to 'uphold the {{Light\|IsGood}}.'"
285	[[/folder]]
286
287	[[folder:Web Original]]
288	* ''WebAnimation/{{Smashtasm}}'': "How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, because gender stereotypes based on hair color are totally unfair and sexist." It's actually [[ItMakesSenseInContext funnier in context.]]
289	* ''WebVideo/DragonBallZAbridged'' - Frieza, after wiping out most of the Namekian species except for Nail, Dende and Guru.
290	--> '''Frieza:''' How many Namekians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Their whole race! One to screw in the lightbulb, and the rest to ''die''... and then the other one dies too.
291	** Later, when Piccolo shows up:
292	--> '''Frieza:''' Well, well, well! I'm legitimately surprised I missed one of you. But that's just fine, because I've been working on some jokes. Now tell me if you've heard this one. How many Namekians does it take to -
293	--> '''Piccolo:''' ([[TalkToTheFist punches him across the sky]]) ''Just one.''
294	* ''WebVideo/EpicRapBattlesOfHistory'': Rasputin raps this to Stalin in the form of a rhetorical question, as we already know the answer. A more serious example than most on this page.
295	--> '''Rasputin''': "How many dictators does it take to turn an empire into a union of ruinous states?"
296	* ''WebVideo/BadMovieBeatdown'': When it takes the characters in the film ''Bear'' until nightfall to change a flat tire on their car, Film Brain makes a joke about it.
297	--> '''Film Brain:''' How many horror movie characters does it take to change a light bulb? None; [[TooDumbToLive they're all eviscerated.]]
298	[[/folder]]
299
300	[[folder:Western Animation]]
301	* In the ''WesternAnimation/{{Gargoyles}}'' episode "The Reckoning", Fang uses this joke "How many gargoyles does it take to ''screw'' in a light bulb?" The question is never answered, and the creator, Creator/GregWeisman, eventually turned it into a contest on his "Ask Greg" website.
302	** "Two, but it has to be a BIG light bulb."
303	** He gets another in the ''ComicBook/GargoylesBadGuys'' sequel in comic form. "How many mutants does it take to change a lightbulb? Three to sit there and one to hang [around]." [[spoiler:Cue him nearly getting his head cut off because [[DudeNotFunny Yama considers making a joke about traumatised victims of a mad scientist, one of whom hanged themselves, seriously]] ''[[DudeNotFunny not cool]]''.]]
304	* ''WesternAnimation/SpongebobSquarepants'': One of [=SpongeBob=]'s racist jokes in "Squirrel Jokes": "How come it takes more than one squirrel to screw in a lightbulb? Because they're SO. DARN. STUPID!" Presumably a ShoutOut to ''Film/RaisingArizona''.
305	* ''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy'':
306	** Brian mentions that Peter doesn't have a great history when it comes to telling jokes. CutawayGag to Peter on the Franchise/PlanetOfTheApes, surrounded and held at gunpoint.
307	---> '''Peter:''' How many dirty, stinkin' apes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three. One dirty, stinkin' ape to screw it in, and two dirty, stinkin' apes to throw feces at each other!
308	---> ''(the apes cock their guns)''
309	** A variation happens when Stewie, Brian, and Mort get transported back in time to Poland on the eve of UsefulNotes/WorldWarII, and their time machine breaks down:
310	---> '''Mort:''' Maybe someone can help us...
311	---> '''Stewie:''' Yeah, that's hilarious. How many Polacks does it take to fix a time machine?
312	* Rather than asking the question or giving a straight answer, the intro to ''[[WesternAnimation/DextersLaboratory Justice Friends]]'' demonstrates us that at the very least, three [[ComicBook/TheAvengers Avengers]] expies are either not enough or too many to change a lightbulb.
313	* ''WesternAnimation/TheFlintstoneKids'': Captain Caveman asked how many of him were needed to change a light bulb. He said none of him because the light bulb hasn't been invented yet.
314	* ''WesternAnimation/{{Wunschpunsch}}'': Jacob asked Meathead (Bubonic's carnivorous plant) how many carnivorous plants were needed to change a light bulb. Jacob said there were needed two: one to hold the light bulb and the other to turn around.
315	* ''WesternAnimation/LloydInSpace'': Douglas' father (of a race of walking talking brains) tells one about the Blobbulons, and says it takes 78 and a Half of them to change a lightbulb. Cut to Kurt and his parents (three Blobbulons) that just got done changing a lightbulb, the father remarking it would have been much easier if there were 75 and a half more of them.
316	* ''WesternAnimation/UltimateSpiderMan2012'': Spider-Man makes such a joke in "The Sinister Six".
317	-->'''Spider-Man:''' How many Sinister Sixters does it take to change a lightbulb? Answer: Six! Four to hold down Electro. One to screw the lightbulb into his mouth.
318	-->'''[[ComicallyMissingThePoint Electro:]]''' (To the rest of the Sinister Six) Heh, you guys want to see that? It actually does work!
319	-->'''Electro:''' (After the rest of the Sinister Six glare at him) Maybe later.
320	* ''WesternAnimation/TeenTitans2003'':
321	** In one episode where Cyborg learns Tamaranian from Starfire, they exchange a joke about "how many does it take". All the rest of the words, as well as the pun, are left untranslated, so we can only wonder.
322	** In "Mad Mod" Starfire asks a {{Brainwashed}} Beast Boy, "How many Okaraans does it take to Hoegee a morflark?" to which the answer is "Finbar". However, it doesn't wake him up until Starfire mentions "[[NoseNuggets boogers]]".
323	* ''WesternAnimation/SouthPark''
324	** In the episode "Rainforest Schmainforest", the president of Costa Rica attempts to amuse a restless audience with such jokes as: "How many Polaks does it take to change a light bulb? [[CannotTellAJoke Two.]]"
325	** In the episode "Here Comes the Neighborhood" Jimbo tries to mock the wealthy people moving in with one.
326	--->'''Jimbo''': How many rich people does it take to screw in a light bulb? None! They can hire people to do it ''for'' them!
327	* ''WesternAnimation/DungeonsAndDragons1983'': While trying to do a stand-up show, Eric asks how many dwarves are needed to change a light bulb. The answer is none because the dwarves can't reach the light bulb.
328	* ''WesternAnimation/LEGOStarWarsTheFreemakerAdventures'': Wick Cooper asks how many people from Alderaan are needed to change a light bulb. The answer is "none" because they've been wiped out. It earns him a very brutal DudeNotFunny from Princess Leia.
329	* In ''WesternAnimation/ReadyJetGo'', Beep the Rover tells Jet one of these jokes in one episode.
330	* A FreezeFrameBonus in the ''WesternAnimation/GravedaleHigh'' episode "Frankenjockey" shows that one of the questions on Frankentyke's math quiz is "How many monsters does it take to change a lightbulb?"
331	* The ''WesternAnimation/BuzzLightyearOfStarCommand'' episode "The Torque Armada" had Torque annoy Buzz with this kind of joke.
332	-->'''Torque''': How many Space Rangers does it take to change a light filament? 100! One to hold it and 99 to turn the space station around!
333	* The ''WesternAnimation/UncleGrandpa'' short "Uncle Grandpa Changes a Lightbulb" is naturally [[{{Feghoot}} a big setup for one of these]]. After failing to change a lightbulb by himself, Uncle Grandpa gets [[MesACrowd a copy of himself]] to help. After that results in another broken lightbulb, they get another copy to help, and then three more, and then six more, until there's an entire army of Uncle Grandpas with lightbulbs. After one of the Uncle Grandpas successfully uses his nose as the lightbulb, he walks to the head of the RV where Pizza Steve asks "So, how many Uncle Grandpas did it take to change a lightbulb?" After several seconds of counting and calculations, Uncle Grandpa answers "One."
334	* ''WesternAnimation/{{Amphibia}}'s'' "[[Recap/AmphibiaS2E34TheDinner The Dinner]]" has Hop Pop try to lighten the mood at an awkward dinner by telling the joke "How many toads does it take to screw in a light mushroom?" (None, they prefer darkness and the smell of blood). The humans are mortified and Grime looks like he's about to slap Hop Pop, until he forces himself to laugh and everyone joins in.
335	* At the beginning of the ''WesternAnimation/ThreeTwoOnePenguins'' music video for "Fair and Square", Rusty asks the Ventrilomatic, "How many mutants of Jadon-9 does it take to screw in a light bulb?" Shortly after, Rusty says that the answer is "two thirds".
336	[[/folder]]
337
338	%% This trope is about the use of light bulb jokes in fiction. It therefore does not have any real life examples.

Context Main / LightBulbJoke