Line #221 Main/IfYouDieICallYourStuff


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6	->'''Erik:''' If I bash one more wall right now, my head will explode!\
7	'''Olaf:''' I got dibs on his helmet.\
8	'''Baleog:''' Okay, but I get his boots.\
9	'''Erik:''' It's great to have such good friends.
10	-->-- ''VideoGame/TheLostVikings''
11
12	%%One quote is enough.
13
14	You are about to do something stupid and/or fatal, and your friends decide to show their support of said action by staking their claim to your possessions, or at least your good ones. The statements are usually made in jest, as a means of GallowsHumor as no one expects the character to actually die from the action. It may be related to TryNotToDie, under the assumption that you'll be less likely to get yourself killed if all these greedy beggars will be using and abusing your stuff if you do.
15
16	Don't think, however, that this claim won't be invoked if in fact, you '''DO''' die [[NotQuiteDead (or appear to)]].
17
18	This is common both in and out of character in tabletop role-playing games, regardless of characters' supposed morals. In extreme cases, they might even plot to kill another player's character for it. This can also lead to conflicts of interest where a good roleplayer wants the stuff but has to play a character who would do anything to get their friend back.
19
20	If someone actually follows through on this, it may involve RobbingTheDead. Compare and contrast WhereTheresAWillTheresAStickyNote and PersonalEffectsReveal. See also DueToTheDead; actually looting the body is often regarded as an offense against it.
21
22	Compare KleptomaniacHero.
23	----
24	!!Examples:
25
26	[[foldercontrol]]
27
28	[[folder:Advertising]]
29	* The PC skydiver in a recent Windows' Phone commercial assumes his Mac friend will die because he's too busy fumbling with his iPhone camera app to pull his chute in time.
30	-->PC: Hey, is it cool if I [[ComfortingTheWidow date Emily]] when you're... ''[chute opens]'' Nevermind.
31	[[/folder]]
32
33	[[folder:Anime & Manga]]
34	* ''Manga/NatsumesBookOfFriends'': Madara/Nyanko-sensei tells everyone that the reason he sticks around Natsume so much is because he wants to take the Book of Friends once Natsume dies. It's probably a lie, though, since he could just kill Natsume and get it over with.
35	* ''Manga/SgtFrog'': Keroro says that he will take Natsumi’s room if she falls to conquer Giroro's garden army in the dub of episode 55a.
36	* The ''Anime/YuGiOh'' dub:
37	-->'''Weevil''': If Yugi loses, I call dibs on his Dark Magician.\
38	'''Rex''': Why don't you show a little compassion for once? Let ''me'' take his Dark Magician.
39	** And TheAbridgedSeries:
40	--->'''Mokuba''': If Joey's dead, can I have his trading cards?
41	[[/folder]]
42
43	[[folder:Comic Books]]
44	* Brother Voodoo, ComicBook/BlackPanther [T'Challa], ComicBook/{{Blade}} and ComicBook/LukeCage once teamed up to clean up an infestation of vampires in New Orleans and to save the [[AmnesiaDanger amnesiac Photon]]. Around this time Panther had stolen the Ebony Blade from Marvel's Black Knight, and Blade was so impressed by it that he asked T'Challa to give it to him in his will. Blade is berated by his partners but just responds, "When you're immortal, you don't sweat the small stuff."
45	[[/folder]]
46
47	[[folder:Fan Works]]
48	[[AC:{{Crossover}}s]]
49	* ''Fanfic/InfinityTrainCrownOfThorns'': When Nanu tells Acerola that he'll be going abroad for Interpol, he adds that if he doesn't return in a year, she'll have to unseal his will. She promptly quips about this, which he takes in stride.
50
51	[[AC:''Manga/{{Bleach}}'']]
52	* A RunningGag in ''Fanfic/PleaseStopEatingTheHellButterflies'' is Zaraki asking if he can get another captain's Division if they happen to die.
53
54	[[AC:''Franchise/FireEmblem'']]
55	* ''[[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11841393/1/Circlet-of-Tellius Circlet of Tellius]]'' has the Archduchess of Begnion Emilyn (Sanaki's daughter) realise that she wants to marry Elena (Ike's daughter). Yune ([[spoiler:Micaiah]]'s daughter), in anticipation of the Begnion nobles' reactions, [[KleptomaniacHero calls her stuff]]. Emilyn points out that technically, [[spoiler:since she's the daughter of Begnion's true Apostle, she has a legitimate claim to it in the first place]]. [[spoiler:After Emilyn dies in an unrelated incident, Yune does indeed claim Emilyn's title.]]
56
57	[[AC:''Franchise/HarryPotter'']]
58	* ''Fanfic/OhGodNotAgain'': Shortly before the third year Gryffindor vs. Slytherin Quidditch match, Ginny asks Harry if she can have his broom should he happen to die.
59
60	[[AC:''WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic'']]
61	* ''Fanfic/AGrowingFireInMyHeart'': Twilight's plan to save Spike involves [[FakingTheDead faking Ember's death]]. As she's explaining this, Blitz promptly asks Ember if he can have her Ruby Fire collection.
62
63	[[AC:''WesternAnimation/{{Rango}}'']]
64	* ''Fanfic/OldWest'': when the canonical rodent girl [[CreepyChild Priscilla]] is introduced to the snake boy Teddy Glossy, she asks him if she can keep his skin and make from it a purse should he die. When he answers that she has to take it from him first, she decides that he's alright for a snake.
65	[[/folder]]
66
67	[[folder:Films - Animated]]
68	* A RunningGag in ''WesternAnimation/{{Rango}}'' is the little girl claiming his boots when he dies. It's a sign that she's starting to respect him when she stops assuming he'll die every time he does something.
69	-->'''Priscilla:''' Ya got any gold fillin's?
70	* In ''WesternAnimation/ToyStory3'', when Molly gives Barbie away to the Sunnyside Day Care, Hamm calls dibs on her Corvette.
71	[[/folder]]
72
73	[[folder:Films - Live-Action]]
74	* ''[[Film/ThreeNinjas 3 Ninjas: High Noon At Mega Mountain]]'': When Rocky finds that his girlfriend has been ChainedToARailway (as bait so the bad guys can capture him), he decides to head there alone to save her, while his brothers and neighbor stay put:
75	-->'''Tum Tum''': Hey, Rocky, if you don't come back, can I have your Barry Bonds glove?\
76	'''Colt''': Tum Tum!\
77	'''Rocky''': I'll be back.
78	* In ''Film/TheThirteenthWarrior'', Antonio Banderas' character is an Arab trapped amongst Norsemen in a re-imagining of Beowulf. After he grinds down a massive sword he isn't able to use into a scimitar, one of his companions asks, "When you die, can I give that to me daughter?"
79	* ''Film/BackToTheFuturePartIII'': The gun salesman is happy to provide a brand new Colt Peacemaker for Marty's duel against Tannen... but should Marty lose, he will want it back, okay?
80	* ''Film/BillAndTedsBogusJourney'': Inverted.
81	-->'''Dead Bill:''' Ted.\
82	'''Dead Ted:''' Yeah?\
83	'''Dead Bill:''' If I die, you can have my Music/{{Megadeth}} collection.\
84	'''Dead Ted:''' But, dude, [[FridgeLogic we're already dead]].\
85	'''Dead Bill:''' Oh. [[FridgeBrilliance Well then they're yours, dude]].
86	* Used as a plot point in ''Film/BlackRain''. The two American policemen have their firearms confiscated when they enter Japan. As a result, one of them is murdered while the other helplessly looks on. A Japanese detective returns the effects of the dead officer to his partner so he can return them to the United States, [[CouldSayItBut which includes the dead officer's confiscated firearm]].
87	* ''Film/CitySlickers'': "If he dies, I'm going after Barbara."
88	* During Timmy's battle with the pirates at the beginning of ''Film/AFairlyOddMovieGrowUpTimmyTurner'', Cosmo asks him "If you die, can I have your bike?"
89	* ''Film/{{Flatliners}}'': paraphrased: "Hey Nelson, if you don't make it... can I have your apartment? What? I was joking."
90	* ''Film/TheGamers''. After accidentally killing the mage of their group, they decide to bury him (and in the true spirit of gamers, not for sentimental reasons but for cold hard points) and after a few seconds of silence, they are all quick to call dibs on what few earthly possessions he had.
91	* ''Film/TheMechanic1972''. The BastardUnderstudy returns to claim the BigFancyHouse and CoolCar of his ProfessionalKiller mentor after killing him. [[spoiler:Unfortunately the mentor anticipated this and rigged the car to explode.]]
92	* ''Film/MemphisBelle'':
93	** Early in the film, the characters are shown divvying up the personal effects of a crewman who didn't make it back from the last mission. One of the characters asks if they should be doing this, and is told that otherwise it would all be sent back to his wife, and they didn't want her receiving anything embarrassing, like condoms...
94	** Later in the same movie, one of the characters becomes obsessed with the idea that he's going to die, and starts giving his ''own'' treasured possessions out to his comrades.
95	* ''Film/{{Screamers}}''. As he sets off on a dangerous mission to negotiate with the enemy, Hendrickson tells his NumberTwo that [[IfIDoNotReturn if he misses two transmissions in a row he's to consider him dead]] and move into his office. The man replies that he'll take the office but Hendrickson's Theatre/DonGiovanni recordings are going out the window.
96	* At the end of ''Film/StayTuned'', after [[HalfHeartedHenchman Crowley]] gets even with [[BigBad Spike]], an intern chimes in with "I call his parking space!"
97	* ''Film/TangoAndCash''. Cash tells Tango that if Tango dies, [[MySisterIsOffLimits he's going to date Tango's sister]].
98	* ''Film/ThreeAmigos'': When the Amigos arrive in Santo Poco, they don't know that they're meant to fight with El Guapo and his bandits. A little boy named Pablo asks Dusty "Can I have your watch when you are dead?" After the day is saved, Dusty gives the watch to Pablo anyway.
99	[[/folder]]
100
101	[[folder:Literature]]
102	* The [=WW2=] novels by Creator/SvenHassel.
103	** In the Old Un's unit the possessions of a dead colleague always belong to his fellow soldiers, with wills being drawn up over particularly valued items. Sometimes a soldier near death will have his pistol removed, as it would only be stolen by a medical orderly, but as the soldier is often aware of this happening it only hastens his death, as he knows what it means.
104	** In a (somewhat) more humorous example, Heide collapses after a fight and Tiny eagerly goes to salvage his gold teeth, but is so disappointed when Heide turns out to be still alive that he has to hand over everything in his pockets to avoid being beaten up.
105	* ''Literature/AllQuietOnTheWesternFront'' has an unfunny version of this with a pair of very good boots. Near the beginning, their current owner is dying of a wound and asks the narrator to give the boots to another member of the unit. Since the wound involves an amputated leg, one of the comrades comments that he'd only ever use one boot anyhow. Near the end, the narrator (who now owns the boots) reveals he's already promised them to someone else, as each of his friends who owned them before him have died one by one and he has no illusions about going home.
106	* ''Literature/AllYouNeedIsKill'': When the protagonist first meets the Full Metal Bitch, he's suffered a fatal wound and she tells him she's going to take his power pack (for his PoweredArmor) when he dies but will protect him until that happens. In the movie adaptation ''Film/EdgeOfTomorrow'' it's a lot worse -- Rita steals the protagonist's power pack [[GoodIsNotNice while he's still alive and without any words of comfort]], leaving him helpless when a Mimic attacks moments later.
107	* ''Literature/{{Discworld}}'' has [[TheIgor Igors]]. If you go to them for treatment, they consider your body free after you die. Of course, they then use those parts to help out other people (and maybe occasionally modify themselves for greater efficiency). It's like getting free health insurance for life if you are willing to sign an organ donor card. On the opposite side, if a person did get help from an Igor but his family refused to give the Igor the body parts, the Igors would then refuse to come to this village again.
108	** Discworld also has the fact that wizards and witches ''know'' when they're going to die, and often arrange a "going away party", which is like a wake, but with the person there to enjoy it. It's not unknown for party guests to drop meaningful hints about how much they always liked that dresser...
109	* Inverted in Creator/NealShusterman's ''Literature/{{Downsiders}}.'' When [[spoiler:Talon]] is about to be executed, he is asked if he has any last words. He has dozens of things he wishes he had time to express but knows there's no way to boil it all down into a sentence or two before his death. So he just says "Tell [[spoiler:Railborn]] he can have my bottle cap collection."
110	* At the end of ''Literature/TheHobbit'', Bilbo Baggins returns home to find that his relatives have declared him legally dead and started selling off his possessions. Luckily he has enough gold from his adventure to buy everything back (except for his silver spoons) and still have enough left over to be the richest hobbit in the Shire.
111	* In ''Literature/{{Pact}}'', when Peter Thorburn is about to be killed by a [[DemBones walking skeleton]] that is also a PoisonousPerson, he has the following exchange with his sister Ellie:
112	-->'''Peter''': If you make it out of this, you can have my stuff.\
113	'''Ellie''': Fuck you, I don’t ''want'' your stuff.
114	* In the sixth ''Literature/{{Slayers}}'' light novel:
115	-->'''Lina''': Suppose Zuuma ''does'' kill me -- what are you all planning to do then?\
116	'''Gourry''': Do? We'll have a funeral for you, duh.\
117	'''Amelia''': I'll probably go through your stuff and see if there's something worth keeping.\
118	'''Xelloss''': Laugh a lot.\
119	'''Lina''': Avenge me! If Zuuma kills me, you'll all try and ''avenge'' me!
120	[[/folder]]
121
122	[[folder:Live-Action TV]]
123	* ''Series/AshesToAshes2008'', contrary to the tone of the quote, this was, in fact, a [[DarkestHour heartbreaking scene]]:
124	-->'''Ray Carling''': You've been a good pal to me. I don't know how to say this without looking like a twat...\
125	'''Chris Skelton''': Go on.\
126	'''Ray Carling''': Well. If you don’t make it out of here, can I have your mug? Only mine's knackered.
127	* In a perfectly agreed and reciprocal version of this, Steve and Jeff in ''Series/{{Coupling}}'' are "Porn Buddies" - should one of them die, it is the other's responsibility to clear out [[PornStash all the porn]] before their family [[PersonalEffectsReveal goes through their effects]]. This also serves as a form of condolence - what better to help you through the grieving process?
128	* Used mostly jokingly in ''Series/{{CSINY}}'', "Sleight Out Of Hand". Mac is testing the coolant gel that stunt performers use for burns and tells Danny to set his arm on fire.
129	-->'''Mac:''' C'mon, what other job allows you to set your boss on fire? Going once, going twice...\
130	'''Danny''' Ok, but I get your office if you go up in flames.
131	* ''Series/{{Farscape}}'':
132	** Rygel goes so far as to give John Crichton what seems to be the Hynerian version of the last rites, declare him dead, and claim all his possessions for himself.
133	** Later on inverted: about to go on a suicide mission, John tells Rygel he can have all his stuff. "You're a material guy, Rygel. Have some material." The tone of this is quite hurtful, and Rygel is surprisingly affected.
134	** When dying for real though, alternate Crichton teases Rygel by saying he still can't have his stuff.
135	** In "A Human Reaction" John, believing he's found a way back to Earth, tells Rygel that he's leaving all of his stuff behind on Moya and if he doesn't come back...[[BaitAndSwitchComment he wants Aeryn to have it all]]. Rygel sputters in protest before realising that John is trolling him (which he finds it ActuallyPrettyFunny).
136	** Averted by Rygel and Chiana when Zhaan [[spoiler: is KilledOffForReal]]. They both go into her chambers intending to take her stuff, but they can't go through with it.
137	** When Aeryn is on the verge of dying from nerve damage Rygel sneaks into her room and starts looking around. He claims he's there to check on her but Aeryn calls him out as checking to see if she's dead so he can steal her possessions.
138	--->'''Rygel:''' [[BlatantLies I resent your unfounded accusation!]] Furthermore, you have no possessions worth taking.
139	* ''Series/{{Firefly}}'' had a variation on this:
140	-->'''Mal:''' Hell, this job, I would pull for free.\
141	'''Zoe:''' Then can I have your share?\
142	'''Mal:''' No.\
143	'''Zoe:''' If you die, can I have your share?\
144	'''Mal:''' Yes.
145	** Also, when Simon and River were kidnapped Jayne went ahead and started looting Simon's room. He hastily returns the stuff when Simon is rescued and brought back.
146	** And then there's this bit from ''Film/{{Serenity}}'' when Mal goes to rescue [[spoiler:Inara]] solo.
147	--->'''Mal:''' Zoe, the ship is yours. [[IfIDoNotReturn If I'm not back in an hour]], you take this ship [[SubvertedTrope and you come and you rescue me]].\
148	'''Zoe:''' What, and risk my ship?\
149	'''Mal:''' I mean it. It's cold, and I don't wanna get left.
150	* ''Series/{{Frasier}}''
151	** In "[[Recap/FrasierS01E11DeathBecomesHim Death Becomes Him]]", Frasier, paranoid about his health, ''asks'' his family to do this. Daphne and Martin are too uncomfortable to do it (not to mention not particularly enjoying Frasier's couture style), but Niles relishes it, to the point that he convinces Frasier to substitute a fancy bottle of wine he was going to open ''just'' so he could claim it. He later finds a [[WhereTheresAWillTheresAStickyNote label with Niles' name]] on the robe he is wearing.
152	--->'''Frasier:''' The vultures are circling...
153	** A downplayed example occurs in Season Six's "[[Recap/FrasierS06E07HowToBuryAMillionaire How To Bury A Millionaire]]"; Niles is bankrupt as a result of his divorce, and Frasier encourages him to economize by, among other things, returning a pen he bought that once belonged to Creator/NoelCoward. As soon as he does, Frasier ''"pounces"'' on it, but feels incredibly guilty about it, until he decides to give it to Niles as a ''"housewarming gift"'' for his temporary low-rent apartment.
154	* ''Series/{{Friends}}'': In "The One With The Lottery" the gang is squabbling over the bowl of lottery tickets that they had planned on splitting the jackpot for if they won. Finally, Phoebe snaps...
155	-->'''Phoebe:''' I can't take it anymore! I'm putting an end to this! ''(She grabs the bowl and heads for the balcony. The gang follows her out...)''\
156	'''Rachel:''' Okay, if she jumps, I get her tickets!
157	* On an episode of ''Series/GraceUnderFire'', Grace tries to explain to her kids that she's made arrangements in case something should happen to her. Libby naively asks if she can have the tv if Grace dies, and Quentin starts to chew her out for not taking it seriously enough, Grace thinks. It turns out he thinks he should get the tv because he's the oldest.
158	* ''Series/JustShootMe'': Jack remarks that according to his (broken) heart monitor he's dead. Finch immediately comes back with "Let me be the first to say, you were a great, great man, and dibs on your wife."
159	* ''Series/LifeWithBoys'': In "Wrestling with Boys", Tess is planning on throwing a match against the wrestling team. Allie asks whether, if the plan goes wrong, she can have Tess's sparkly black purse.
160	* ''Series/MarriedWithChildren'': Whenever an uncle of Al's dies and nobody locks his door, Al, Peg, and their children go there and call dibs on whatever they can. In one instance, Bud was sad when he learned the ''gold'' tooth he got wasn't really made of gold, Al comforted him by mentioning an aunt who seemed to be close to death. Peg's reaction was calling dibs on the aunt's lamp.
161	* ''Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000'':
162	** The crew did it when they spoofed ''Film/LastClearChance'', a road safety film from the 1950s. As the main character watches his older brother get killed at a train crossing (in '''very''' TooDumbToLive fashion), Servo shouts out "Can I have your room?"
163	** And after Crow takes inspiration from the film ''Film/TheMagicVoyageOfSinbad'' only to get trapped outside the satellite: "Hi, Crow? This is Tom. If you're gonna die out there in the cold void of space, can I have that Toblerone you've been hiding under your bed?"
164	* ''Series/MythBusters'':
165	** The Build Team tests the myth that you can stop a car by throwing it into reverse (they are using walkie-talkies):
166	--->'''Tory:''' Hey, Grant, if, uh...you know, just...a crazy, I mean, let's hope this doesn't happen, but let's say you do go off course, and you end up crashing and dying...uh, can I have your robot?\
167	'''Grant:''' I want the robot to be buried next to me, over.\
168	'''Tory:''' I promise, we will bury the robot next to you. (Turns off walkie-talkie and turns to camera) He'll be dead! He won't know where the robot is! It's gonna be in my house!
169	** The exchange is inverted for an episode where Grant and Tory are sent up to skydive for myths from ''Film/PointBreak1991''. Grant goes up first and safely returns, but Tory, being second to jump [[note]]and [[WhyDidItHaveToBeSnakes acrophobic]] [[/note]], is anxious. Grant's 'assessment' about the danger Tory faces in the jump he is about to take is reflected in Grant's parting words to a visibly nervous Tory as the latter takes off:
170	--->'''Grant:''' I'm taking your tools!
171	** In the episode featuring [[Series/GoodEats Alton Brown]], Adam is [[ItMakesSenseInContext cooking popcorn in a high-pressure vessel]] (as established in previous episodes, pressure vessels are potentially deadly):
172	--->'''Alton:''' If we just find pieces, can I have your watch?\
173	'''Adam:''' Absolutely.
174	* In the season five premiere of ''Series/{{NCIS}}'' ("Bury Your Dead"), Tony returns after being presumed dead in a car bomb explosion and he's annoyed to find everyone has pinched his office supplies.
175	-->'''Abby:''' Everybody else gave you up for dead, [[EveryoneCanSeeIt even Ziva]].\
176	'''Ziva:''' OK, so I may have acted a little hastily.\
177	'''Tony:''' That's my letter opener.\
178	'''Ziva:''' Excellent balance and weight. The edge is a little dull, but I've always admired it.\
179	'''Tony:''' Where's my American Pie coffee mug?\
180	'''Abby:''' Palmer.\
181	'''Tony:''' Mighty Mouse stapler?\
182	'''Abby:''' Ducky... Hey, Ducky.\
183	''(Ducky is attempting to stealthily return the stapler when he's spotted)''\
184	'''Ducky:''' My dear fellow, I never believed it for a moment. Welcome home.
185	* The Janitor in ''Series/{{Scrubs}}'' to J.D. when the latter is checked into the hospital.
186	* ''Series/StargateSG1'', "The Enemy Within." Jack asks, in what has to be the greatest MoodWhiplash Subverted TearJerker ''ever'', "If you don't make it, can I have your stereo?" In this case, he's deliberately being silly to keep his mind off the fact that his buddy might die from what's going on, plus cheering said buddy up.
187	* One episode of ''Series/StarTrekDeepSpaceNine'' has Jadzia borrowing Worf's prized collection of Klingon operas as the latter left for a dangerous mission, threatening to "misplace" them if he didn't hurry and come back alive.
188	* In an episode of ''Series/StarTrekTheNextGeneration'' a man from a warrior culture has just been murdered, and since he has no immediate family then according to custom his belongings are divided between everyone else in the settlement. This might once have been a solemn ritual where the deceased's close friends claim a single item that has some personal significance and what remains is donated to those in greatest need, but this culture has been through a long war and are clearly struggling to get by, so what happens instead is that someone immediately calls out, "I get his boots!" and three or four other people begin scuffling over the rest.
189	* ''Series/{{Torchwood}}'':
190	** The show has a creepy variant. If you die, ''they claim your body''. Admittedly, they have good reasons for this, but it's still creepy. Also, they claim your memories should you ever leave Torchwood, but that's entirely understandable, given how hip-deep they are in things they don't want most of the planet to know about.
191	** Jack also implies they would take Rhys if Gwen tried to leave her stuff to him. He was joking. Probably.
192	* This, or a variation of, is a typical response when contestants on ''Series/WhoseLineIsItAnyway'' have to come up with Bad Things to Say to Someone On Their Deathbed.
193	-->'''Colin:''' So when do you think [[RomancingTheWidow Susan will be ready to date again]]?\
194	'''Ryan:''' What are you going to do with your stereo?
195	* Something similar implied in ''Series/TheXFiles'' where Mulder, after being thought dead, reunites with the Lone Gunmen. The first thing he says is that Frohike is going to have to wait a while in order to inherit Mulder's PornStash.
196	* The following exchange from ''Series/YoungBlades'' when D'Artagnan is about to embark on a ridiculous mission:
197	-->'''[[BigEater Ramon:]]''' When you die, may I have your horse?\
198	'''D'Artagnan:''' Yes...but don't eat him.
199	[[/folder]]
200
201	[[folder:Manhwa]]
202	* Played straight in the fourth volume of ''Manhwa/DorothyOfOz'' with Dopey asking Grumpy if he can have his helmet if said older dwarf dies after nearly being fried alive by Mara's lightning powers.
203	[[/folder]]
204
205	[[folder:Music]]
206	* Reversed in Matthew Good Band's "Indestructible":
207	-->Died in an amusement park accident\
208	I came back for you\
209	So you wouldn't be alone\
210	And if I go away again\
211	You can have my stereo
212	* The chorus of the Irish folk song "Johnny When You Die":
213	-->"Johnny when you die will you leave to me the fiddle-o\
214	Johnny when you die will you leave to me the bow"
215	[[/folder]]
216
217	[[folder:Newspaper Comics]]
218	* In ''ComicStrip/{{Dilbert}}'', this is applied to layoffs. It goes a bit far in one incident where while Dilbert and Wally confine themselves to pilfering the ex-employee's office equipment and furniture, Alice goes and takes the man's pants. While he's on his way out the door.
219	* In ''ComicStrip/{{Foxtrot}}'' while Jason is acting as a DrillSergeantNasty football coach to Peter, he tells him "If you die I get your stereo."
220	* ''ComicStrip/{{Garfield}}'':
221	** From the August 13, 1997 strip.
222	--->'''Jon:''' ''(talking on the phone)'' Ellen, if you don't go out with me, I'll die. ''(Beat)'' It's just a figure of speech, Ellen. ''(Beat)'' No, you can't have my computer!\
223	'''Garfield:''' Can I have the TV?
224	** The November 23, 1997 strip.
225	--->'''Garfield''': How about a nice little game of “Stomp The Spider”?\
226	'''Spider''': I'm warning you... You'd better not pick on me, cat! I'll tell my big brother! Hey, Rusty! C'mere!\
227	'''Rusty''': Yeah?\
228	'''Spider''': This big, stupid cat says he's gonna stomp me.\
229	'''Rusty''': ''(considers Garfield, turns back)'' Can I have your [=CDs=]?
230	** In another Jon tells Garfield that he wrote his will and Garfield asks him if he can have the fridge.
231	* Sally in ''ComicStrip/{{Peanuts}}'' was constantly laying claim to Charlie Brown's room should something happen to him. When he returns after being almost washed out to sea on his pitcher's mound, she says "I suppose you're going to want your room back." Also, when he returns from getting lost in the woods looking for Snoopy, she notes that it'll take a while to move all her things (including the bed) out of his room. She also tries to move into his room when he goes to camp.
232	[[/folder]]
233
234	[[folder:Podcast]]
235	* A variant of this happens in ''Podcast/Wolf359''.
236	-->'''Eiffel:''' If I die, [[AIIsACrapshoot Hera]] gets all my toys.
237	[[/folder]]
238
239	[[folder:Radio]]
240	* In Creator/TheBBC's [[Creator/JRRTolkien Tolkien]] spoof ''Hordes of the Things'', when the wizard Radox the Green is about to risk his life, he gets into a [[OverlyLongGag protracted argument]] with his fellow wizard Badedas the Blue about which of the wizards will get which of his belongings if he doesn't come back.
241	[[/folder]]
242
243	[[folder:Tabletop Games]]
244	* A potential rules exploit, as new [=PCs=] can start with magic items in 3rd and 4th edition ''TabletopGame/DungeonsAndDragons'', since replacement characters usually start the same level as their player's previous character, with loot appropriate to their character level. The party gets to keep the old character's loot while the new character brings in new loot.
245	* This is a rule in ''TableTopGame/{{Munchkin}}'', indeed losing your gear is the only penalty for dying.
246	* Bizarrely, ''TabletopGame/{{Paranoia}}'', the RPG most infamous for having players kill each other, averts this, largely to make all the dying everyone does less bad. (There's is indeed plenty of "stuff", but [[MadeOfExplodium you probably don't want to take it]].) You get given all your things back, even the experimental/illegal stuff, although, given the nature of death in Alpha Complex, it's likely that the only salvageable thing left of your old corpse is a set of SmolderingShoes.
247	* ''Blog/ThingsMrWelchIsNoLongerAllowedToDoInAnRPG'': Mr. Welch gets in on this:
248	-->The "Dibs" system is not a recognized method of promotion in the Ordo Malleus.
249	-->'Dibs' is not a term of bereavement.
250	** Also, his attempts go above and beyond mere looting:
251	-->Searching the dead PC for spell components is fine. Using him for spell components is not.
252	* ''TabletopGame/Warhammer40000'':
253	** Yes, Space Marine corpses are high priority targets for post-battle reclaiming by their Chapter... but it's because their armor and wargear are precious, irreplaceable relics that must be reclaimed so as to be passed on to another SpaceMarine, or avoid their being corrupted by Chaos. Even their bodies are taken, as each Space Marine grows two sets of the geneseed that powers their superhuman abilities, one of which is extracted to be implanted into an initiate.
254	** Orks follow this religiously... they just don't always wait for the "if you die" part (or they ensure it happens themselves).
255	[[/folder]]
256
257	[[folder:Video Games]]
258	* Anyone who has ever publicly threatened to quit playing a {{MMORPG}}, will ''always'' be met with at least one reply of "Can I have your stuff?" or "I call dibs on your plat!" among other mockeries. There's pretty much no avoiding it. Someone will make such a comment sooner or later. And In the case of anyone's existence failure, the first question is 'What'd he drop?'
259	* ''VideoGame/DayZ'' is a multiplayer zombie game with permadeath, which in practice means that players can loot each other's corpses. You are often in more danger from other players than from the zombies -- at least the zombies don't have guns.
260	* ''VideoGame/{{Deltarune}}'': If spoken with two or more times before leaving the classroom with Susie in Chapter 1, Snowy asks Kris if he can have Asriel's classical, jazz, and religious CD's should they die.
261	* In ''VideoGame/DwarfFortress'', dwarves will look for the best gear they can, which often is the gear of dead dwarves. So they'll go and snitch said gear off the corpse, which often leads to ''more'' dead dwarves as whatever killed the first dwarves is usually still there and still hostile; the famous fortress ''Blog/{{Boatmurdered}}'' encountered this during one of their perennial elephant problems when dwarves would rush out to claim their loot and get themselves trampled, which would in turn re-aggravate the elephants and prevent them from leaving before more stupid dwarves could run out. Thankfully, current versions of the game allow you to mostly fix that by setting dead dwarves' possessions to be automatically forbidden on death, to be reclaimed when the goblins/megabeast/zombie horde/whatever is no longer around. Also fixed, thankfully, is the bug where dwarves were unable to notice or care about fire and would happily wear still-burning articles of clothing and catch fire themselves.
262	* ''VideoGame/EnterTheMatrix'':
263	** Sparks: "Oh, and if Ghost doesn't make it, can I have his boots?"
264	** And during the Freeway chase: "Can I have your personal processing unit?"
265	* ''VideoGame/Fallout4'' has [[BunnyEarsLawyer Deacon]] saying this before the player goes to the Institute via teleporter for the first time.
266	-->'''Deacon''': You'll be fine, boss. Tinker Tom's devices usually work. If not, uh...can I have your stuff?
267	* If you die in ''VideoGame/HalfLife2'', sometimes the rebels accompanying you will lay claims on your crowbar or hazmat suit.
268	* ''Franchise/{{Halo}}'': Occasionally, when Master Chief dies, nearby marines (if there are any [[RedshirtArmy left alive]]) will say something to the effect of "Grab his helmet!" Grunts will also do the same thing. The former does ''sense'' in ''VideoGame/HaloCombatEvolved'' and ''VideoGame/{{Halo 2}}'', however, as the Chief's helmet carries a chip holding the AI Cortana. Making it less "Ooh, I get his cool stuff!" and more "Prevent the enemy from acquiring the most vital piece of intelligence in the galaxy."
269	* There are several scenes with Daxter that play when you die in the first ''VideoGame/JakAndDaxter'' game, and one of them is Daxter asking, "Can I have your bug collection?"
270	* ''VideoGame/TheLostVikings'': Provides the page quote as one of the dialogues at the end of one stage. And seventeen years later in ''VideoGame/HeroesOfTheStorm''...
271	-->'''Olaf:''' Aah, just so we're clear, I still has dibs on Erik's helmet.\
272	'''Baleog:''' I get his boots!\
273	'''Erik:''' [[ContinuityNod Seventeen years, nothin' changed]].
274	* In ''VideoGame/MarioAndLuigiPartnersInTime'', when Mario returns with the Refreshroom after Toadsworth faints, one of the other Toads is saying "Toadsworth! Any last words? Can I have your cane?"
275	* At the beginning of ''VideoGame/StarWarsJediSurvivor'', after Cal had his disguised crew turn him in to a Senator, which ended with some consequences, Gabs asks a returning Cal if she could keep the ''Mantis'' if he did die.
276	* In ''VideoGame/ValkyriaChronicles'', [[VideoGame/SkiesOfArcadia Aika's]] message on rescuing a downed squad-member is "If you die, I'm gonna take ''all-ll'' your treasure!"
277	* ''VideoGame/{{Warframe}}'': Holdfast weapons dealer Cavalero will sometimes dismiss a leaving player with "If you die, I get dibs on your stuff," reinforcing his hard-assed, unsympathetic nature
278	* In ''VideoGame/WingCommander Prophecy'', one of the in-flight "flavor" communications:
279	-->'''Zero:''' Hey Maestro. If you die, can I have your stereo?\
280	'''Maestro:''' You can burn in hell.
281	[[/folder]]
282
283	[[folder:Web Comics]]
284	* One of two [[BigNo contrasting]] reactions in [[http://arthurkingoftimeandspace.com/1782.htm this]] ''WebComic/ArthurKingOfTimeAndSpace''.
285	* In ''WebComic/{{Erfworld}}'', when Parson is pulled into Erfworld by Wanda's summoning spell, one of his fellow gamers' first comment is "Dibs on his dice."
286	* In ''WebComic/ExterminatusNow'', after seeing how TheAce and his team are happy to be reunited with their demon hunter, we cut to our DysfunctionJunction team of protagonists at home, to contrast their ahem teamwork.
287	-->'''Rogue:''' ''(Flipping the others off)'' Going out!\
288	'''Eastwood:''' Great! Don't come back!\
289	'''Virus:''' Dibs on his stuff if he doesn't.\
290	'''Lothar:''' He doesn't have any stuff worth taking. I've looked.
291	* ''Webcomic/GirlGenius'':
292	** A minor character displayed [[TooDumbToLive fatally poor judgment]] by trying to take Sanaa Tryggvassen [[http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20100319 hostage]]. One of the other prisoners promptly calls "[[DueToTheDead Requiescat in Pace]] and all that. Dibs on his boots!".
293	** Later, the doctors Mittlemind and Mezzasalma cheerily harvest their colleague's organs when he dies. It's quickly noted that he would have done the same to them, and apparently stole Mezzasalma's pancreas when he got knocked unconscious one time.
294	* ''WebComic/GoneWithTheBlastwave'': [[http://www.blastwave-comic.com/index.php?p=comic&nro=29 Idaho]] is a victim of this trope, even though he was OnlyMostlyDead. This prompts Crosshair Guy to write a TryNotToDie note to himself.
295	* A variant, in [[http://www.thenoobcomic.com/index.php?pos=6 this]] ''WebComic/TheNoob'' comic - After meeting a veteran MMORPG player who is about to quit, the title character asks, "Can I have your stuff?"
296	* Combined with "Who are you and what have you done with...?" in a ''Magazine/{{Dragon}}'' magazine ''Webcomic/TheOrderOfTheStick'' strip, when Haley suggests leaving treasure behind.
297	-->'''Belkar''': OK, what have you done with the real Haley and can I have her stuff?\
298	'''Haley''': No, I'm serious, Belkar.\
299	'''Belkar''': So am I, she has good stuff.
300	* In ''WebComic/OurLittleAdventure'', [[http://danielscreations.com/ola/comics/ep0205.html they meet another party like this, shortly after Pauline's death]].
301	* ''WebComic/QuestionableContent'' put their own spin on it [[http://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=1166 here]]. The belongings of the prospective deceased will be split by lottery instead of being fought over.
302	* ''Webcomic/{{Shortpacked}}'' [[http://www.shortpacked.com/d/20090317.html here]].
303	* Used in an early ''Webcomic/{{Stardroids}}'' strip, where Dr. Wily sends out Hydro-Man to fight Franchise/MegaMan. Quick Man calls dibs on Hydro's stuff.
304	* In ''Webcomic/TheWhiteboard'', [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autowb585.html Roger detonates a Febreze bomb in Doc's office.]] When Doc emerges and grabs Roger [[http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autowb586.html to drag him off for a mauling,]] Roger calls for Swampy to avenge him. Swampy's response: "That depends. Can I have your Platform/PlayStation?"
305	[[/folder]]
306
307	[[folder:Western Animation]]
308	* On ''WesternAnimation/{{Sixteen}}'' two of the DumbBlonde clones are discussing a contest:
309	-->'''First Clone''': So, if you win and you die of pride, can I have your halter top collection?\
310	'''Second Clone''': Oh, of course, you can!
311	* ''WesternAnimation/{{Arthur}}'':
312	** In the episode called "[[Recap/ArthurS1E16ArthurAndTheCrunchCerealContestDWFlips D.W. Flips]]", the [[TricksterTwins Tibble twins]] ask D.W. if they could have her toys if she dies attempting a gymnastic stunt.
313	** In the later episode "[[Recap/ArthurS16E5NightOfTheTibbleReadAndFlumberghast Night of the Tibble]]", D.W. asks her friend James if she can have his fingerpaints if he dies attending [[TheDreaded the Tibble twins]]' sleepover. This is PlayedForDrama, as D.W.'s expression and body language in the scene make it obvious that the remark wasn't made in jest and she's genuinely worried for James' life.
314	* In ''WesternAnimation/BeastWars'', as Optimus Primal is about to embark on a mission that has the potential to end in a HeroicSacrifice, Rattrap asks him "Uh...just in case you don't come back...can I have your quarters?" Then Primal does die, but a few episodes later comes {{back from the dead}}. At the end of the episode he returns in, he states that one of the things he has to do is "[[BrickJoke have Rattrap move all his junk out of my quarters!]]"
315	* In a downplayed example, the ''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy'' episode "Stewie Kills Lois" has Stewie finally killing Lois, [[spoiler:though she's actually alive, and it's all just a stimulator]], and framing Peter for it. When Peter gets escorted to the courtroom, Chris has this to yell at his father.
316	-->'''Chris''': If you go to jail, can I have your room?
317	* In one episode of ''WesternAnimation/FantasticFourWorldsGreatestHeroes'', when Ben Grimm is used as a guinea pig for one of Reed Richards' experiments, Johnny says "If he blows up, I get his stuff."
318	* ''WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}}'':
319	** In one gag, Professor Farnsworth presents his new invention - a clock that can tell how long anyone has to live - by testing it on Fry. We never see what the clock says, but the other characters bow their heads in sadness while Bender calls dibs on his stuff.
320	** Bender himself also [[DefiedTrope defied]] this trope in "Crimes of the Hot". When he goes to a party on the Galapagos Islands, even after learning that it's all a trick by UsefulNotes/RichardNixon to get all the world's robots together and kill them all, he tells the Planet Express crew not to touch his stuff; it's all booby-trapped.
321	* In the TV movie ''WesternAnimation/GarfieldInParadise'', Garfield says to Jon, when they are surrounded by vicious-looking natives, "Assuming I get out of this and you don't, can I have your bunny slippers?" (The natives turn out to be friendly.)
322	* In the ''WesternAnimation/HeyArnold'' episode "24 Hours to Live," Gerald tries to reassure Arnold that Harold has forgotten his plan to beat him up tomorrow for beaning him during a baseball game. Then the following day
323	-->'''Helga:''' ''(yelled at Arnold while passing on a bus)'' Hey, Arnold! 23 hours until you die! ''(cackling maniacally)''\
324	''(Gerald hands Arnold a sheet of notebook pape)]''\
325	'''Arnold:''' Hey, what's this? A CD player, rollerblades, hockey stick?\
326	'''Gerald:''' That's just a list of your stuff that I've kinda had my eye on -- you know, if worse comes to worst.\
327	'''Arnold:''' ''(with an annoyed look)'' Thanks, Gerald.\
328	'''Gerald:''' Don't mention it.
329	* ''WesternAnimation/{{Ninjago}}: Masters Of Spinjitzu'': The episode "Iron & Stone" features this line:
330	-->'''Arkade:''' ''(to Zane)'' Can I have your parts when you expire?
331	* In ''WesternAnimation/PrepAndLanding'' short "Operation: Secret Santa", when Wayne and Lanny are assigned to a secret mission, Magee calls dibs on his snow-mobile. He then informs her that he cancelled the insurance.
332	-->'''Magee:''' Ok, Byeeeee!
333	* ''WesternAnimation/RickAndMorty'': In "Unmortricken", Rick's ship AI tells him she gets his stuff if he dies, as he runs off to face Rick Prime.
334	* ''WesternAnimation/RocketPower'': When Otto refuses to heed everyone's warning against surfing during a particularly bad storm, Twister calls out to him as he leaves, "Can I have your skateboard?!"
335	* The ''Literature/RottenRalph'' episode "Dead Man's Drop" has Ralph talk to his cousin Percy on the phone over how he's agreed to do a life-threatening dare. Percy begins to ask if he can have something of Ralph's if he doesn't make it, what it is exactly is unknown due to Ralph hanging up before his cousin can finish his question.
336	* In the ''WesternAnimation/Rugrats1991'' episode "Back To School" because of a series of coincidences and Angelica's trickery, the babies think everything is going backwards and that [[DeathByDeAging they'll soon be unborn]]. Angelica asks Tommy if she can have his toys when he disappears. After Chuckie tells Angelica off, Phil asks Tommy if they can have his toys instead, [[DeathGlare causing Lil to glare angrily at him]].
337	* In ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons'' episode "Million Dollar Abie", when an unwanted Abe is contemplating assisted suicide, Jasper asks if he can have Abe's blanket and liver if he decides to go through with it.
338	-->'''Abe:''' Blanket? Sure. Liver? [[BigNever NEVER!]]
339	* In ''WesternAnimation/SonicPrime'' episode ''Shattered'', Dr. Don't remarks that he calls dibs on Sonic's quills.
340	* In the ''WesternAnimation/SouthPark'' episode "Best Friends Forever", when Kenny is put into a coma Cartman is given his PSP and fights for Kenny to be taken off life support so he can keep it.
341	* Stork sings a song about this in ''WesternAnimation/StormHawks''.
342	-->'''Stork''': We'll never see Finn again/And that part is sad enough/But now Aerrow's history too... ''(beat, then he grins)'' I get to have all their stuff~
343	* In an episode of ''WesternAnimation/TinyToonAdventures'' where Buster has to go see the principal, everyone calls dibs on his stereo. After the third time, [[BreakingTheFourthWall he turns to the camera and asks whether he's the only one in the school who has a CD player]]. For extra funny, this was the ''principal'' entertaining the idea of confiscating Buster's stereo as punishment for what he was sent to the principal's office for.
344	* In the ''WesternAnimation/VeggieTales'' episode ''[[Recap/VeggieTalesEpisode25LordOfTheBeans Lord of the Beans]]'', (an LOTR parody about using your gifts to help others) when Junior's character, Toto Baggypants, is the only one of the Fellowship of the Bean who can go through the Blue Gate into the Land of Woe and find the reason he was given the One Bean, Grumpy the Dwarf (played by Pa Grape) calls dibs on Toto's espresso maker. (For added insult, the espresso maker was a gift from Toto's uncle Bilboy, who created it with the Bean.)
345	* In the ''WesternAnimation/YogiBear'' cartoon "The Buzzin' Bear", Yogi takes a helicopter for a joyride, only to lose control of it and fly all over the park. Throughout the cartoon, [[RunningGag Boo Boo continually pestered Yogi over the radio about wanting Yogi's pogo stick if Yogi dies]].
346	[[/folder]]
347
348	[[folder:Real Life]]
349	* Reversed by David Letterman, the day before he went in for bypass surgery: "Paul, I just want you to know, if something happens to me - I want Felicia [[spoiler:Collins, the guitar player]] to have the show."
350	* "In the Event of Rapture, Can I Have Your Car?"- bumper sticker
351	** Also "In Case of Rapture, You Can Have My Car". Referenced in the political webcomic ''IDrewThis'': "But I don't ''want'' your car. It has that stupid sticker on it."
352	* Creator/GeorgeMacDonaldFraser recorded participating in the division of a fallen comrade's kit in ''Quartered Safe Out Here''.
353	** While Fraser initially thought his squad-mates were being cold (if pragmatic), he came to realize that the division was actually this trope crossed with PersonalEffectsReveal. Each survivor exchanged a piece of his army-issue gear with a better example from the dead man's kit. This gave everyone in the squad something to remember him by; his truly personal effects were left untouched.
354	* In legal terms, the inversion -- i.e. a person in a dangerous situation telling someone "If I die, you get my stuff" -- is called a [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nuncupative_will nuncupative will]]. Most jurisdictions require that wills are to be written down and properly witnessed, so nuncupative wills are invalid, but some jurisdictions allow dying people and people in dangerous situations -- particularly soldiers on active duty -- to make them under certain conditions. Note that "If you die I call your stuff" has no legal effect whatsoever unless it's explicitly agreed by the person whose stuff it is.
355	[[/folder]]

Context Main / IfYouDieICallYourStuff