Line #63 Main/IKnowKungFaux


1	->''"I must warn you that I am an ''expert'' in Cockadoodle-Fu."''
2	-->-- ''VideoGame/SpyFox''
3
4	The BigBad has arrived. TheCavalry is nowhere to be seen. The RedshirtArmy just got trampled on. No need to fear, because the hero is a [[IKnowKarate master of an ancient martial art]].
5
6	Only the martial art is something ridiculous, that nobody in his right mind would ever invent. HilarityEnsues, and either the Big Bad finds out the hard way that the art really ''is'' real, or the hero gets smacked [[CurbStompBattle right back to earth]].
7
8	I Know Kung-Faux is the trope for silly fictional martial arts of all types. While Kung Faux techniques are often [[RuleOfFunny played for comedy]], they can also have [[RuleOfCool more serious uses]]. Fictional martial arts styles intended to be taken seriously are a FantasticFightingStyle.
9
10	Inventing a Kung-Faux fictional fighting technique is simplicity itself: Just pick a name ending in "-fu" or "-ito" (or name it after an exotic animal), shroud it in near-legendary mysticism, and then have your actors [[WimpFight flail at each other]] [[ArtisticLicenseMartialArts in haphazard fashion]].
11
12	May also occur when a panicked or tongue-tied character [[{{Malaproper}} misspeaks]] while tried to bluff someone by claiming that they know (for example) "[[UsefulNotes/{{Judo}} Judaism]] and [[FooFu Egg Foo]]".
13
14	Related to FooFu, WhatTheFuAreYouDoing and MartialArtsAndCrafts. Likely to include {{Subverted}} or actual {{Fake Special Attack}}s. Distinct from BlackBeltInOrigami, where the characters don't even attempt actual fighting.
15
16	Can be a SecretArt if very few people know it.
17
18	----
19	!!Examples:
20
21	[[foldercontrol]]
22
23	[[folder:Anime & Manga]]
24	* Almost every significant character in ''Manga/BoboboboBobobo''.
25	* Shinogi Kanno of ''Manga/BakiTheGrappler'' practices a "cord-cutting" style of karate which allows him to sever his opponent's nerves and tendons, crippling or even blinding them with a single blow.
26	* This is ''Manga/RanmaOneHalf'''s bread and butter. The number of martial arts styles that ''aren't'' a ridiculously weaponized version of something completely unthreatening (dinner parties, for example) could be counted on one hand.
27	** {{Subverted}} early with Kodachi and her Martial Arts Rhythmic Gymnastics: gymnasts have an exceptional body conditioning, and while her favored ribbon is not a legitimate weapon her other tools can be, and she has once used that ribbon to mask a stick. She's also prone to use the ribbon to procure more legitimate improvised weapons to throw at her opponents, such as a martial arts bell, chairs, and ''her own brother'' (he's a Kendo champion).
28	** The Saotome School of the Musabetsu Kakutō Ryū (alternately translated as "Indiscriminate Grappling" or "Anything Goes") is at once ''serious'' AND ''silly'', comprising such styles as the surprisingly lethal and destructive Yamasenken and Umisenken, proficiency with a wide variety of deadly weapons, and a stated specialization in midair superiority, as well as "stellar" moves like "bowing and scraping for forgiveness" or "turn tail and run in panic while you come up with a plan" (this one gets called out-and then ''actually works'') or "whack an enemy in the back after shouting 'LookBehindYou'" or "shuffle out of range and bark insults like a dog at a superior enemy you clearly can't beat."
29	* ''Literature/NyarukoCrawlingWithLove'' has [[SpaceX Space]] CQC, which is practiced by all the main alien characters; it has a textbook, but the first words in it are "Space CQC is whatever you say it is, even if others disagree with you." Thus, Nyarko's [[Creator/MontyPython Blasphemous Hand Grenade]] is a valid technique despite [[OnlySaneMan Mahiro]] pointing out that using a grenade isn't exactly close-quarters combat. Cuuko's use of {{Attack Drone}}s is ''also'' valid, [[HypocriticalHumor despite Nyarko's protests]].
30	* General Adon of ''Manga/{{Berserk}}'' will remind his opponents at every opportunity that he is a master of a set of techniques with ever-more-convoluted titles, passed down through the Corbowitz family for an ever-more-exaggerated length of time.
31	[[/folder]]
32
33	[[folder:Comic Books]]
34	* ''Comicbook/HowardTheDuck'' is an expert in Quack Fu.
35	[[/folder]]
36
37	[[folder:Films -- Animation]]
38	* In ''WesternAnimation/ToyStory2'', Hamm says, "You know Kung Fu? Well, get ready for "[[{{Pun}} Pork Chop!]]"
39	[[/folder]]
40
41	[[folder:Films -- Live-Action]]
42	* Wimp Lo from ''Film/KungPowEnterTheFist'' was deliberately trained wrong as a joke.
43	-->"My-Face-to-Your-Foot style, how'd ya like it?!"
44	** The entire movie is this in spades. Early in the movie, a baby does a BladeRun and pees in the BigBad's face. A scene or two later, the protagonist punches through a man's chest and sends a cylinder of homogenous faux-flesh flying out the back, leaving a perfectly round window in a man's chest (which even [[LemonyNarrator the Narrator]] [[LampshadeHanging questions]]). It just gets sillier from there.
45	* ''Film/{{Orgazmo}}'': Choda Boy and his Hamster style kung fu. They made it up, aside from the more hamstery aspects, by combining aspects of Monkey and Crane styles of kung fu.
46	* Featured in ''Film/KungFuHustle'', with techniques like the Buddhist Palm style, the Frog style, and the {{Musical Assassin}}s.
47	* ''Film/EllaEnchanted'':
48	** First as a bluff:
49	--->'''Ella:''' Look, I think it's only fair to warn you that I'm practiced in the ancient art... of origami.\
50	'''Thug:''' Paper folding?\
51	'''Ella:''' I was hoping you wouldn't know what that was.
52	** Luckily, Slanen knows kung-fu even though he's too weak to use it himself... which he uses when he accidentally geass-orders Ella to kick ass in the most efficient way possible.
53	--->'''Slanen''' Don't let 'em scare you, sweetheart! ''[Ella has a non-emotional look on her face]'' Now punch! Combo! Back-flank! Double-jump-dragon-punch-roundhousekick! ''[and does all that]''\
54	'''Thug:''' THIS CHICK IS NUTS!!!
55	* ''Film/RushHour2'': In order to intimidate Hu-Li, Carter tries to convince her that [[WalkLikeAnEgyptian walking like an Egyptian]] is a martial art.
56	* The Creator/JackieChan movie ''Film/SnakeInTheEaglesShadow'' has him as a bullied janitor who gets taught Snake Fist by an old master. When the old man is menaced by a master of the rival school Eagle Claw, Jackie steps in but gets his butt kicked. He ends up inventing his own martial art by mimicking a cat fighting a snake, complete with meowing and washing his face. At the end of the film the old master asks what he plans on calling his style and he responds with a TitleDrop.
57	* In ''Film/{{Shrooms}}'', Troy claims know martial arts and to be studying something called 'The Way of Tiger'. Any time he attempts to demonstrate it, he just embarrasses himself (such as attempting to parry fruit thrown at him while blindfolded), and the one time he attempts to use it in a fight, Bluto just punches him in the face and breaks his nose.
58	[[/folder]]
59
60	[[folder:Literature]]
61	* Played with in ''Literature/ThiefOfTime'', where Lobsang asks Lu-Tze about his renowned mastery of several martial arts, including ''Okidoki'', ''Upsi-Dasi'', and ''Deja-Fu.'' Lu-Tze mocks them all and says that "none of the monks here know ''Deja-Fu''". [[spoiler: [[ExactWords As it turns out, that's because he never taught them, and he himself isn't a monk]].]] From the name and the fact the monks can manipulate time, it seems likely that ''Deja-Fu'' involves making people feel the sensation of being punched just before you actually hit them while they're reeling from the blow you're about to deliver. The book does mention that the literal translation of "Deja-Fu" is "the sensation of having been kicked in the head like this before".
62	** Plus [[BulletTime time slicing]] and (if humans are capable of it, and not just [[BigfootSasquatchAndYeti yeti]]) SaveScumming. Evidently they are, since it gets used as a ChekhovsGun by [[spoiler:Lu-Tze]].
63	*** According to Lu-Tze, the yeti are the only species which has gone extinct three times. Lobsang immediately comments "Most species only go extinct once."
64	** ''Literature/MakingMoney'' refers to sloshi, the art of Martial Arts Clowning.
65	* The non-Discworld book ''Literature/JohnnyAndTheBomb'' strongly implies that involuntary time-traveller Johnny Maxwell has the secret of slicing time, and can manifest this in need. He certainly manages a life-saving run in an otherwise impossibly short time.
66	* One of the ''Creator/MontyPython'' spin-off books promised to introduce readers to the deadly secrets of Llap-Goch, the ancient Welsh system of self-defence. Some kind soul has reproduced the material [[http://www.llapgoch.org.uk here]].
67	* Creator/RobertRankin gives us ''Dimac'' "The world's Deadliest Martial Art", Basically, what would happen if those mail order "Become a Kung Fu Master books advertised in comics really did [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin]]. You get to do moves that require Olympic class gymnastics and [[WireFu wires]]. The particular form practised by Hugo Rune consists of moves all alliteratively named after the male organs of fearsome animals, ''The Lunge of the Leopard's Lingam, The Twist of the Tiger's Todger, The Donk of the Dark Dragon's Dongler'' etc.
68	[[/folder]]
69
70	[[folder:Live-Action TV]]
71	* In ''Series/{{Dollhouse}}'', Topher warns an intruder that he has uploaded himself with many deadly martial arts skills. The intruder then punches him in the face and knocks him out cold.
72	-->'''Topher:''' I have imprinted myself with [[LargeHam MANY USEFUL SKILLS]] - ''gets knocked out''
73	* ''Series/TheGoodies'' had Ecky-Thump, the ancient Lancastrian art of self-defence, which involves just hitting someone over the head with a black pudding.
74	* Joe Garelli from ''Series/NewsRadio'' is an expert in "[[{{Pun}} Joe-jitsu]]".
75	* ''Series/DoctorWho''. The Third Doctor is an expert in [[SpaceX Venusian Aikido]], which seems to involve him shouting "Hai-Chavich!" and jabbing a PressurePoint near their collarbone.
76	* In the original ''Series/TheJimHensonHour'' version of ''WesternAnimation/DogCity'', Ace is trained in the ancient art of [[Film/TheThreeStooges Wy-Iy-Otta]], and has earned a pink bow.
77	[[/folder]]
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79	[[folder:Radio]]
80	* The CBC radio sketch comedy group ''Radio/TheFrantics'' made the famous "Tae Kwon Leep" routine. The fake martial art consists primarily of two things: Boot to the head, and getting the first shot.
81	* In ''Kremmen of the Star Corp'', our hero breaks down a door with a "triple-wristed, quarter-Nelson drop-kick!"
82	[[/folder]]
83
84	[[folder:Tabletop Games]]
85	* Parodied in the ''TabletopGame/{{Munchkin}}'' card game supplement ''Munchkin Fu'', with Drunken Monkey Kung Fu, Fee Fi Fo Fu, and Stomach Fu.
86	* The official ''TabletopGame/{{Champions}}'' martial arts supplement includes such esoteric "martial arts" as Professional Football, Toon Fu, Speedster Tricks, and Invulnerability. In the last "martial art", the fact that your body is rock hard and indestructible lets you use it as an even more effective weapon than normal.
87	[[/folder]]
88
89	[[folder:Toys]]
90	* Occurs often in the various ''Franchise/{{Transformers}}'' series, most notably with Metallikato, Crystalocution, and Circuit-su.
91	[[/folder]]
92
93	[[folder:Video Games]]
94	* ''VideoGame/EarthBound1994'' has Cpt. Strong, who uses Super Ultra Mambo-Tango-Foxtrot Martial Arts.
95	* The ''VideoGame/LegoUniverse'' fanon has Spatula-Fu, an ancient order of Jedi-like warriors who wield large pizza spatulas.
96	* ''VideoGame/SpyFox'': See page quote. [[RuleOfFunny Sometimes it works.]]
97	* ''VideoGame/TeamFortress2'' has "Jarate, the jar-based karate" (that is, throwing a jar of your [[UrineTrouble urine]] at an opponent).
98	** The advertisment for Jarate does make a point of mentioning that Jarate is neither affiliated with, nor a substitute, for actual Karate, though.
99	* ''VideoGame/ShaqFu''. The title says it all. Does it make sense? Not really...
100	* ''VideoGame/SuperDarylDeluxe'' - the titular Daryl learns martial arts from what is supposed to be a self-help book on social skills. His moves include summoning weapons from HammerSpace, spontaneous costume changes, surfing, summoning whack-a-moles, shooting rubber ducks from a bow, and other oddities. And almost of their names are social interaction puns.
101	* ''VideoGame/SuperLuckysTale'': Master Mittens proclaims himself to be a master of Meow-Shu, and is certainly able to vanish in puffs of smoke while putting up a convincing act. The Mail Golem reveals that he learned his martial art from reading comic books, however, and he never actually fights Lucky directly, preferring to pose on top of cannons while sending in looks to fight.
102	[[/folder]]
103
104	[[folder:Web Comics]]
105	* ''Webcomic/TheOrderOfTheStick'': When Elan attempts to dethrone the evil general [[spoiler: Tarquin, his father]], he is criticized for his lack of combat skills. He then reveals himself to have been studying the fine art...of ''[[http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0761.html pun dueling!]]'' [[spoiler: He then gets his puns handed to him as Tarquin reveals, in the silliest duel ever, that he also has trained in that art.]]
106	* "[[http://egscomics.com/comic/2002-04-09 Anime-Style Martial Arts]]" from ''Webcomic/ElGoonishShive'' essentially consists of [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin playing every stupid anime martial arts cliché to the hilt]], and everyone (except ''possibly'' Sensei Greg), acknowledges how ridiculous this is. And yet...[[http://egscomics.com/comic/2002-04-18 it does in fact]] [[http://egscomics.com/comic/2008-11-13 grant supernatural power]].
107	[[/folder]]
108
109	[[folder:Web Original]]
110	* Via ''Website/NotAlwaysRight'': "[[http://notalwaysright.com/i-know-crazy/24143 I don't know karate but I do know 'crazy' and I'm not afraid to use it.]]"
111	* Bucket Mopsworthy, co-lead character of ''AudioPlay/TheHeroicTaleOfHeroicallyHeroicHeroes'', is highly skilled in the art of "Tai Mop Do". As the name suggests, it is a martial art of janitorial origin that specializes in using mops in combat.
112	[[/folder]]
113
114	[[folder:Western Animation]]
115	* In an episode of ''WesternAnimation/{{Babar}},'' Arthur claimed to know "martial arts from the orient." He then tripped and fell over a chair.
116	* ''WesternAnimation/DarkwingDuck'' also knew Quack Fu.
117	* ''WesternAnimation/KimPossible'' features Monkey Kung-Fu, as practised by the villain Monkey Fist and Kim's sidekick Ron Stoppable.
118	** Though this is [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monkey_Kung_Fu actually real]], it still counts for the trope, mostly due to the 'mystical monkey power' aspect.
119	* ''WesternAnimation/RazzberryJazzberryJam'': At one point in “Building To A Bang”, Buddy claims to know “drum-fu”. In demonstrating this, he karate-chops the air a few times and then falls on his head.
120	* In ''WesternAnimation/DangerMouse'', Penfold is very keen on "Kung Moggy".
121	* In ''WesternAnimation/EarthwormJim'' the titular Earthworm knows the ancient art of Lip-gitzu and regularly uses it to dispatch minions.
122	* The Franchise/{{Lego}} ''WesternAnimation/{{Ninjago}}'' toy line and animated show has characters mastering Spinjitzu, where characters spin and become tornadoes to fight enemies.
123	* In ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons'': Bart signs up for karate class in one episode but later gets bored with it and skips class. When Homer and Marge ask what Bart has been learning, he makes up "The Touch of Death." Lisa believes him and is later harassed by bullies in school and she tells Bart to defend her with his "Karate." Resulting in Bart taking a beating from the bullies after they find out he's faking it.
124	* ''Westernanimation/RegularShow'' has "Death Kwon Do", which require you to wear a mullet and cut-off jeans.
125	* ''WesternAnimation/SonicTheHedgehogSatAM'': Both halves of the episode "Fed Up With Antoine/Ghost Busted" involve Antoine attempting, with varying degrees of success, to learn "King Fu".
126	* Pizza Steve from ''WesternAnimation/UncleGrandpa'' claims to be an expert in Italian karate.
127	[[/folder]]

Context Main / IKnowKungFaux