Line #62 Main/DiagnosisFromDrBadass


1	->''"I still intend to do 'Miller'-style first-person narrative captions which give some insight into Batman's thought processes but it seems more 'realistic' to imagine Batman as a hardcore fightin' man who wouldn't even ''notice'' his injuries until long after the fight was over, so no more of that 'MY BACK SPLINTERS INTO A THOUSAND SHARDS OF AGONIZED BONE. HE'S GOOD. HE'S YOUNG. HE'S TOUGHER AND YOUNGER THAN ME. AND TOUGHER. DID I MENTION TOUGHER? MUSN'T BLACK OUT...'"''
2	-->-- '''Creator/GrantMorrison'''
3
4	Related to InformedSelfDiagnosis, but occurs when a character diagnoses themselves ''or'' someone else, and does so with anatomical accuracy (enumerating the number of bones broken seems the most common route). In most cases, the diagnoser will not have formal medical training, but this is a moot point as characters like Franchise/{{Batman}} probably have [[AwesomenessByAnalysis as much medical knowledge as any field medic]] and Franchise/{{Superman}} [[XRayVision can see through you]]. If ComicBook/{{Wolverine}} tells you his claw is in your spleen, then you have a claw in your spleen. If he ''is'' a CombatMedic, though, this is almost expected to happen.
5
6	Usually said in a matter-of-fact/deadpan kind of way even if the damage is or will be catastrophic. When diagnosing themselves, this often results in an OnlyAFleshWound and MajorInjuryUnderreaction moment. When diagnosing others, this almost always leads ToThePain or {{Gorn}}.
7
8	Compare SequentialSymptomSyndrome.
9
10	----
11	!!Examples
12
13	[[foldercontrol]]
14
15	[[folder:Anime & Manga]]
16	* Kenshiro of ''Manga/FistOfTheNorthStar'' is famous for this. Nearly every single one of his {{Finishing Move}}s has him describing in detail the [[CurbStompBattle smack down]] he laid on a poor {{Mook}} (describing which pressure point/s he hit) and what the results will be ([[MadeOfPlasticine exploding heads]], uncontrollable body movements (or being unable to move at all), and HighPressureBlood, among other such effects).
17	* Spoofed in ''Literature/{{Slayers}}'' where Zelgadis tells the villain how he decided to spare him and used the blunt side of the sword, only to realize that his sword is double-edged.
18	* Rikiya Gaou of ''Manga/{{Eyeshield 21}}'', after he [[spoiler: breaks Hiruma's right arm]] was able to identify exactly what part of the arm he broke, the humerus.
19	* In ''Manga/{{Bleach}}'', Yumichika can immediately tell after a single punch that Cuulhorne has broken his arm in three different places. He continues fighting anyway and eventually defeats Cuulhorne one-handed.
20	* In ''Manga/ShamanKing'', Dr. Faust VIII does this with a ludicrous degree of precision during his fight with Yoh, calmly informing him of the name and number of the bones he breaks with his attacks. It's all part of his plan to get Yoh to drop his concentration so he can lose the fight, and it very nearly works.
21	* ''Manga/{{Naruto}}'': Kabuto Yakushi, a trained CombatMedic, loves to do this. It helps that he fights using what is essentially an energy scalpel, allowing him to fight like he's performing surgery.
22	[[/folder]]
23
24	[[folder:Comic Books]]
25	* Franchise/{{Batman}} does this all the time, both to himself and others.
26	** In ''Comicbook/BatmanTheDarkKnightReturns'' while fighting the head mutant.
27	--->'''Batman thinking:''' A quick one to the nerve cluster in his deltoid. It doesn't hurt him, but no force on Earth could help him move his left arm now.
28	** In ''Superman & Batman'' after getting punched by Superman
29	--->'''Batman thinking:''' Sternum's shattered. Bone's broken through skin. Lung punctured for sure.
30	** In ''Hush'', after getting his line cut, he grabs on to a gargoyle (breaking his shoulder), but it crumbles.
31	--->'''Batman thinking:''' My shoulder breaks. First my body betrays me. Then, my city follows suit.
32	** Also in ''Hush'', he contemplates what he could do to the Joker.
33	--->'''Batman thinking:''' I could crush his windpipe and sever all oxygen from his brain. I could push his ribs right through his lungs and rupture his heart. I could pound his skull into the pavement until it fractured into so many pieces his brain would spill out.
34	* Franchise/{{Superman}}, during his fight with Batman in ''Comicbook/BatmanTheDarkKnightReturns''.
35	-->'''Superman thinking:''' Bruce -- I just broke three of your ribs.
36	* Comicbook/{{Supergirl}} Linda Danvers in ''Comicbook/ManyHappyReturns'' punches Kara -the original Supergirl- in the face and notes she's broken three fingers.
37	* ComicBook/DoctorOctopus, when recalling his first fight with ComicBook/SpiderMan.
38	-->'''Dr. Octopus:''' ...with a punch that, by my best estimate, was over twelve hundred foot-pounds. That, Dr. Louis, would be my first case of traumatic brain injury.
39	* ComicBook/{{Wolverine}}, during his fight with ComicBook/SheHulk in ''Ultimate Wolverine vs Hulk'', combined with anatomically impossible threats.
40	-->'''Wolverine:''' The first claw just punctured your spleen. It'll bleed but you'll live. The third claw's sticking into your kidney. Good thing you got two. I pop the middle one it goes right through your liver.
41	* Rorschach does this in ''ComicBook/{{Watchmen}}'': "I have just broken this man's little finger. Who killed Edward Blake?"
42	* In ''Nomad'', Lycan says "Did you know that nearly every creature has a ''brachiocephalic artery'' carrying blood to the brain, or something similar? And if ''pressure'' is applied, causing it to ''burst'', well... Death is instantaneous." Three guesses what he does.
43	* The protagonists in ''Comicbook/SinCity'' often explain in gruesome detail how they've been injured or how they're torturing the bad guys. Marv's torture of Kevin is probably the prime example.
44	* In ''Comicbook/ThePunisherMAX'', Frank Castle provides an internal narration example during a fight with AxCrazy Pittsy, who shoots him point-blank in the chest with a shotgun.
45	-->'''Punisher:''' That's a rib gone. Not broken. ''Gone.''
46	* ''ComicBook/JusticeSocietyOfAmerica'': Doctor Mid-Nite occasionally gives very detailed threats of the anatomical damage he could inflict on his enemies. He [[TechnicalPacifist rarely carries through with them, though.]]
47	[[/folder]]
48
49	[[folder: Fan Works]]
50	* According to some fans, Kabuto from ''Naruto'' [[http://draikairion.deviantart.com/art/Vivisection-147458051 either is, or could/should be one.]]
51	[[/folder]]
52
53	[[folder:Film]]
54	* Subverted in ''Film/TheKiller2023''. The Killer shoots The Lawyer in the chest with a nail gun and then pontificates on the nature of his wounds and how long it'd take for him to die (six or seven minutes) so he can interrogate him in that meantime, but quickly realizes he miscalculated pretty badly as The Lawyer expires in 30 seconds tops.
55	* Marv from ''Film/SinCity'', when he breaks the lawyer's arm in three places.
56	* Sarah Connor from ''Film/Terminator2JudgmentDay'' when she breaks the doc's hand, even if she is wrong.
57	-->'''Sarah:''' There are 215 bones in the human body. That's one.
58	* In ''Film/SherlockHolmes2009'', Holmes makes a habit of mentally running through the intended physical effects of a series of precise blows to an opponent, just before he actually makes his attack.
59	-->'''Holmes''': First, [[AHandfulForAnEye distract target]]. [[AwesomenessByAnalysis Then block his blind jab]]. Counter with cross to left cheek. [[SesquipedalianLoquaciousness Discombobulate]]. Dazed, he'll attempt wild haymaker. [[NoSell Employ elbow block and body shot. Block feral left]]. [[NoHoldsBarredBeatdown Weaken right jaw. Now fracture. Break cracked ribs. Traumatize solar plexus. Dislocate jaw entirely. Heel kick to diaphragm.]] [[AfterActionReport In summary]], ears ringing, jaw fractured, three ribs cracked, four broken. Diaphragm hemorrhaging. Physical recovery: six weeks. Full psychological recovery: six months. Capacity to [[DisproportionateRetribution spit at back of head]]: neutralized.
60	* In the movie ''Film/{{Cellular}}'', [[spoiler:a kidnapped high-school teacher stabs her kidnapper in the arm with a pair of scissors then tells him "Tenth grade biology. Brachial artery... pumps thirty liters of blood a minute. There's only five in the human body. I'm sorry."]]
61	* In ''Film/PunisherWarZone'', Loony Bin Jim, during his fight with Frank Castle in the toilet:
62	-->'''Loony Bin Jim''': Blood in the urine, an early indicator of kidney failure.\
63	'''Loony Bin Jim''': You should be seeing double right about now.\
64	'''Loony Bin Jim''': That would be a torn meniscus.
65	* In ''Film/ThePunisher2004'', the eponymous character takes a blowtorch to a man's back and describes what he's doing in great detail, including telling him that it's not painful yet because the nerve endings are seared and when the flame's that hot, it actually feels cold. [[spoiler: This turns out to be a subversion, as the Punisher is really just swiping a popsicle across the man's back to create the described symptoms, while simultaneously using the blowtorch on a steak to create the smell of charred flesh.]]
66	* Done in ''Film/BlackNinja'' as the eponymous character tells a villain how the hero has paralyzed him for life. The scene is especially odd because the villain is on the toilet, and the only sound aside from the hero talking is a bunch of farting noises.
67	* Invoked in ''Film/HotelArtemis'' when Everest throws a patient/guest out into the street and threatens him:
68	-->'''Everest:''' Hey... you see that badge? That means I'm a health care professional. But that knowledge goes both ways. So if you tell anybody about The Artemis... I will hunt you down and unheal the shit out of you.
69	* ''Film/Morbius2022'': When Morbius bursts in on a counterfeiting group to steal their equipment, he proceeds to make an example out of their leader by [[{{Fingore}} breaking his fingers]], listing off each bone as he breaks it, scaring the whole group into running, as he tells the leader that he’ll be okay with 6-8 weeks on ibuprofen.
70	[[/folder]]
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72	[[folder:Literature]]
73	* It's after the fact, but in ''[[Literature/XWingSeries Iron Fist]]'' [[CombatMedic Doctor]] Ton Phanan explains that he [[SlashedThroat cut the attacker's throat]], severing the carotid artery, with his laser scalpel.
74	* In ''[[Literature/MonsterHunterInternational Monster Hunter Vendetta]]'' the hero accidentally shoots [[FrankensteinsMonster Agent Frank]]. Agent promptly sticks a finger in the wound for examination.
75	--> "Bullet struck my pelvis below my vest. Glanced upward... Hmmm, hit a kidney. You owe me a new one. Let's go."
76	* In [[Literature/GhostStory The Dresden Files: Ghost Story]], Just as Aristedes seems to have taken down Daniel, Butters appears out of nowhere with a lead pipe and promptly [[OneHitKill 1HKO's]] him.
77	--> "That sound you just heard was your lateral collateral ligament and anterior cruciate ligament tearing free of the joint. It's also possible that your patella or tibia was just fractured. Get rid of the knife, or I start on your cranium."
78	* In ''Literature/SheepsClothing'', Doc Meadows's first hint of badassery comes in his narration just before he kicks a man in the knee, as he describes what tendons and ligaments will be damaged as the joint breaks.
79	* In ''Literature/TheCountOfMonteCristo'' when the count's servant reported one of his guests is the one he tried to kill years ago by stabbing him the count simply said he aimed too high or too low so the knife hit a rib instead of the heart. The truth is Dante knows already all about the ordeal since he is setting up his revenge scheme on the guest.
80	* In ''Literature/TheOneWhoEatsMonsters'', Ryn is such an adept and precise fighter that she knows exactly what injuries she inflicts.
81	--> '''Thug's Girlfriend:''' My god! You psychopath, you broke his nose!\
82	'''Ryn:''' Nose once, jaw twice; wrist in six places.
83	[[/folder]]
84
85	[[folder:Live-Action TV]]
86	* ''Series/XenaWarriorPrincess'': Xena does this often with her death pinch.
87	-->'''Xena:''' I just cut off the blood flow to your brain. You'll be dead in thirty seconds unless...
88	* Neroon from ''Series/BabylonFive'' in the episode "Grey 17 is Missing".
89	-->'''Neroon:''' I've just broken two of your ribs. ''(whack!)'' Sorry, make that three.
90	* ''Series/{{Dexter}}'': Dexter has a moment like this when attacking the abusive father of Astor's friend. He describes how he is hitting internal organs in just the right way to unleash terror.
91	* ''Series/StarTrekTheOriginalSeries'': Dr. [=McCoy=], with a newly-awakened Khan holding a scalpel to his throat, merely tells him that the recommended procedure for a quick kill would be to sever the carotid artery. After Khan praises [=McCoy=] for bravery, he simply states that it would be a quicker death than the jugular vein that was Khan's initial target.
92	* A rather indirect example from ''Series/{{Louie}}'', where nuns at a Catholic school bring in a doctor to graphically and viscerally explain to the young main character and his classmates the violence suffered by Christ during his crucifixion.
93	* Dr. Ray Langston has a moment like this in ''{{Series/CSI}}''. He puts a chokehold on a suspect, and describes the effects it's having on the guy.
94	[[/folder]]
95
96	[[folder:Video Games]]
97	* ''[[VideoGame/SoulSeries Soulcalibur III]]'':
98	** Siegfried's win quotes:
99	--->'''Siegfried:''' I avoided your vitals. You'll live.
100	** [[LadyOfWar Sophitia]] also has the same quote in ''III''. Both her and [[TheAtoner Siegfried]] are {{Apologetic Attacker}}s, but Sophitia wields a short sword and [[LuckilyMyShieldWillProtectMe shield]], so her chances of avoiding your vitals are ''much'' higher.
101	* ''VisualNovel/CrossChannel'': The protagonist Taichi Kurosu displays uncanny medical knowledge at certain points during the game by quickly and effectively diagnosing injuries his friends have received. The "badass" part of the trope derives from the fact that he also committed mass murder as a child and has a long-standing relationship with an expert [[{{Ninja}} kunoichi]].
102	[[/folder]]
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104	[[folder:Webcomics]]
105	* ''Webcomic/TheAdventuresOfDrMcNinja'',
106	** Dr. [=McNinja=] has to use this to explain to ''[[TheGrimReaper Death]]'' why he'll live after being shot multiple times (it's BlatantLies though as he is clearly dead from blood loss after that and only says arteries shmarteries). Subverted when Death doesn't care about his diagnosis, and Dr. [=McNinja=] has to beat the snot out of him to go free. Also, he's a real doctor.
107	** In a later adventure, one page ends with him about to fight a large intelligent ape. The next page shows him being swung back and forth, his head hitting the ground each panel, for a couple of panels. Then the Doctor, in a moment of lucidity, diagnoses that this has been happening for quite some time.
108	[[/folder]]
109
110	[[folder:Western Animation]]
111	* In ''WesternAnimation/TheVentureBrothers'', Brock Samson combines this with a JackBauerInterrogationTechnique, as he stabs an underling in the abdomen and threatens to mortally injure him if he doesn't spill the beans.
112	[[/folder]]

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