Line #128 Main/ComebackTomorrow


1	[[quoteright:270:[[Webcomic/TheNonAdventuresOfWonderella https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/WonderexiA_7864.png]]]]
2	[[caption-width-right:270:Points for trying.]]
3
4	->''"Well, it is so often the way, sir, too late one thinks of what one ''should'' have said. Sir UsefulNotes/ThomasMore, for instance -- burned alive for refusing to recant his Catholicism -- must have been kicking himself, as the flames licked higher, that it never occurred to him to say, 'I recant my Catholicism.'"''
5	-->-- '''Edmund E. Blackadder''', ''[[Series/{{Blackadder}} Blackadder the Third]]'' [[note]] In fact Thomas More was beheaded for refusing to sign the oath of succession, granted his refusal was probably in large part due to his Catholicism. [[/note]]
6
7
8	A character is insulted. Later, they get a flash of inspiration and think of the perfect comeback (which may or [[LameComeback may not]] be actually witty, but they're very proud of it). So, of course, they try to arrange matters so that they get to use it--either setting up the original scenario in which they were insulted, or just using it later out of context. If the latter type appears late enough, it may qualify as a BrickJoke.
9
10	Very much TruthInTelevision. The Germans call it ''Treppenwitz'', and in French it is ''l'esprit d'escalier'', both phrases meaning "staircase wit". In a classic French architecture design, formal gatherings were held on the second floor; this would happen when the joke would occur to someone at the bottom of the stairs, having just left the party.
11	----
12	!!Examples:
13	[[foldercontrol]]
14
15	[[folder:Anime and Manga]]
16	* In ''Anime/{{Shirobako}}'', there is a non-comedic example late in the series. When Midori and Hiraoka nearly bump into each other, Hiraoka goes off on a rant about how girls like Midori only have to say that they're sorry with a cute face to be forgiven, and that the men in the office go easy on them. In a later scene, Midori encounters Hiraoka again and points out that she doesn't think the others are going easy on her, since none of her dialogue ideas got accepted.
17	[[/folder]]
18
19	[[folder:Comic Books]]
20	* ''Comicbook/TheSandman1989'': Sexton experiences this in ''Death: The High Cost of Living'' after Didi tells him she's Death:
21	-->'''Sexton:''' You know, I thought maybe you were kinda nice and kinda of smart. But I was dead wrong. You're just as crazy as everyone else...\
22	'''Didi:''' Well, I thought you were someone dumb enough to get stuck under a fridge in a garbage dump. And I was dead right.\
23	''[pause]''\
24	''[Sexton walks out the door]''
25	* In the French comic ''Les Profs'' (The Teachers), a student makes a joke to the Spanish teacher on how boring her classes are. She mopes through the rest of the day, until she wakes up at night shouting the comeback she should have told the student.
26	* In one ''Comicbook/TheBeano'' story Comicstrip/{{Dennis\|TheMenaceUK}} and Danny of the Bash Street Kids are arguing over which of them are the coolest kid in school. Danny says Dennis is "about as cool as ... er ... a thing that's really ''not'' cool", and the next panel is captioned "Thirty years later" and shows Danny as an adult, with a beard and glasses, suddenly realising "Teacher! I should have said you're as cool as Teacher!"
27	[[/folder]]
28
29	[[folder:Comic Strips]]
30	* ''ComicStrip/CalvinAndHobbes''
31	** From Calvin in [[http://www.gocomics.com/calvinandhobbes/1994/02/08 this strip:]]
32	--->'''Calvin:''' Oh yeah? Oh ''yeah??'' Well, remember what you said, because in a day or two, I'll have a witty and blistering retort! You'll be devastated ''then'', I promise!
33	** Lampshaded by Calvin in [[http://www.gocomics.com/calvinandhobbes/1992/03/24 this]] strip:
34	--->'''Moe:''' Wimp!\
35	'''Calvin:''' ''OH... OH YEAH??''\
36	''(BeatPanel)''\
37	'''Calvin:''' What ''really'' bugs me is knowing I'll probably come up with a much sharper retort sometime tonight.
38	* One ''{{ComicStrip/Zits}}'' comic had the mom telling the boys that watching too much TV would dull their minds. Two beats later, the son goes "Oh yeah?" to which his friend mutters "Man, [[IResembleThatRemark don't make her more right than she already is]]."
39	* In a ''{{ComicStrip/Garfield}}'' strip, Jon asks a woman out and she says that [[WouldRatherSuffer she would rather go out with camel spittle.]] Hours later, when he's already gone to bed...
40	-->'''Jon:''' "But what if your brother already has plans?" That's what I should have said!\
41	'''[[CatsAreSnarkers Garfield]]:''' [[LampshadeHanging Ol' Lightning Wit strikes again.]]
42	* Invoked in ''{{ComicStrip/Dilbert}}''. Dilbert tells Dogbert about a relative of his who was a marine biologist, famous for his work with sea anemones. Sadly, he was unpopular with his peers. Dogbert intentionally leaves the room before shouting his comeback, to avoid [[LamePunReaction getting smacked]].
43	-->'''Dogbert:''' With anemones like that, who needs friends?
44	* Lampshaded in ''{{ComicStrip/Momma}}'', after Momma loudly scolds her two grown sons.
45	-->'''Francis:''' When Momma chews you out, do you stand there looking stupid or come up with a snappy comeback?
46	-->'''Thomas:''' Both. A week apart.
47
48	[[/folder]]
49
50	[[folder:Fan Works]]
51	* ''Fanfic/OnceMoreWithFeeling'': At one point, Shinji muses that an underrated benefit of time travel is being able to use the quips you thought of too late.
52	[[/folder]]
53
54	[[folder:Films — Animated]]
55	* Discussed in ''WesternAnimation/HortonHearsAWho2008'' after Horton actually does make a pretty good comeback, but admits he usually "Doesn't think of that stuff 'til later."
56	[[/folder]]
57
58	[[folder:Films — Live-Action]]
59	* A non-insulting comeback: in ''Film/RatRace'', while Nick is flirting with Tracy. They're both reading the same biography of Charles Lindbergh, and she tells him that she's up to the part where "[[BlatantLies he's just had a sex change]]". A moment later he learns that she's a pilot.
60	-->'''Nick:''' Are there many female pilots?\
61	'''Tracy:''' There's at least one.\
62	'''Nick:''' When I walk away, [[LampshadeHanging I'm gonna think of something great to say to that]].\
63	'''Tracy:''' Good. Mail it to me.
64	** A few scenes later he comes back having realized the obvious comeback: "Two if you count Lindbergh."
65	* Brought up in ''Film/ShallowHal'' when one of the characters brags about the size of his anatomy. Hal takes about ten seconds to come up with the weak retort "yeah, bigger than a mouse's".
66	[[/folder]]
67
68	[[folder:Literature]]
69	* In the first ''Literature/ArtemisFowl'' book, Holly Short insults 12 year-old ChildProdigy Artemis by telling him she'll "buy [him] a lollipop when [she] gets back". Artemis is too stunned to reply, and delivers his (lame) comeback after she's ''long'' gone.
70	-->'''Artemis:''' [[LameComeback I don't like lollipops...]]
71	* In the "Cargo of Rice" story from ''Literature/HoratioHornblower'', Mr. Midshipman Hornblower loses his French for a moment while arguing with the French captain of a supply ship the ''Indefatigable'' has just captured and snaps "Go to the Devil" in English. It's not until he goes to the cabin to plot a course that he remembers--''then'' he says "allez au diable" to himself.
72	[[/folder]]
73
74	[[folder:Live-Action TV]]
75	%%* Used by Sheldon a couple times on ''Series/TheBigBangTheory''.
76	* Prince George in ''Series/{{Blackadder}} the Third'', leading to the page quote. Then again, the witty comeback that took him all night to think of was "[[LameComeback Oh, bugger off, you old fart!]]"
77	* ''Series/BuffyTheVampireSlayer'':
78	-->'''Xander:''' I'm not gonna waste the perfect comeback on you now. But don't think I don't have it. Oh, yes! Its time will come!
79	* ''Series/DoctorWho'': In [[Recap/DoctorWhoS38E10TheTimelessChildren "The Timeless Children"]], the Master only comes up with the perfect PreMortemOneLiner ''after'' having killed someone with his [[ShrinkRay Tissue Compression Eliminator]]: "Time to cut you down to size!" He's quite disappointed with himself for that.
80	* In the UK hospital comedy ''Series/GreenWing'', loser Statham makes an ill-fated attempt to provide a witty comeback to Mac just after Mac has walked out of shot:
81	-->'''Statham:''' Stop right there. Come back here.\
82	'''Mac:''' Stop right there, come back here, which?\
83	'''Statham:''' Can I say one thing? I don't know what you're talking about, and always check your facts. Good day.\
84	'''Mac:''' That's two things. Three, if you count the valedictory flourish.
85	* ''Series/{{House}}'' has this gem, ending with a blank stare that truly makes the moment:
86	-->'''House:''' So you're saying Chase ''did'' screw up.\
87	'''Chase:''' Or Foreman screwed up.\
88	'''Foreman:''' Big hand points to minutes. Maybe you got them mixed up?\
89	'''House:''' Oh, snap! Foreman's playing the dozens; you’re at a cultural disadvantage here. Take a few minutes to think up a witty retort.\
90	'''Cameron:''' So we have contradicting bleeding time tests. If we run labs to check his clotting factors we can confirm which one's right.\
91	'''House:''' Yeah, testing, nice idea. Way better than trying to guess which doctor’s incompetent. Much better than the paperwork, too.\
92	'''Chase:''' Hey, Foreman. [[YourMom Your momma's so fat]], when her beeper goes off, people think she's backing up.
93	* Subverted on ''Series/{{Justified}}''. Constable Bob is on official police business but this does not matter to two drunk Clover Hillers who insult him, his job and then threaten him with a shotgun if he does not leave. As he is leaving he comes up with a comeback to their insults and he turns around and walks back up to their front door. However, when they open the door he simply points his gun at them and tries to arrest them.
94	* Subverted in ''Series/TheKingOfQueens'', frequently, where Arthur does not bother with the setting up and instead screams out his comeback hours later, often by walking into his daughter's bedroom in the middle of the night.
95	* ''Series/MalcolmInTheMiddle'' - "I stayed up all night thinking of comebacks, and comebacks to her potential comebacks. I'm gonna show her I'm ''not'' obsessed with this."
96	* Lisa obsessed over delivering a comeback to Dave in an episode of ''Series/NewsRadio''. Naturally, when she finally got a chance to deliver it, the response was [[LameComeback underwhelming]], to say the least.
97	* An episode of ''Series/SaturdayNightLive'' guest-hosted by [[Series/NorthernExposure Rob Morrow]] had Morrow's character in a commercial for a time-travel machine, so you could go back in time to say the thing you later thought to say.
98	* Happens to George in the ''Series/{{Seinfeld}}'' episode "The Comeback". He then does the thing of setting up the original scenario (which entails George flying from NYC to Akron, Ohio) so that Riley will repeat his insult. Unfortunately, Riley doesn't suffer from this:
99	-->'''Riley:''' You know, George, [[XCalledTheyWantTheirYBack the ocean called]]. They're running out of shrimp.\
100	'''George:''' Oh yeah, Riley? Well, the ''jerk store'' called. They're running out of ''you''!\
101	'''Riley:''' What's the difference? You're their all-time best seller!
102	** It gets better. He then [[LameComeback resorts to]], "Well, I had sex with your wife!" (on Kramer's advice), only to be informed that Riley's wife is in a coma. Then, at the very end of the episode, we see George driving back home, only to murmur "Well... [[BlackComedy the life support machine called...]]", have a EurekaMoment, triumphantly declare, "YES! ''[[OrphanedSetup THAT'S]]'' WHAT I SHOULD HAVE SAID!", and turn the car back around again. Keep in mind that he is back in New York at this point, meaning he's turning his car around ''to fly back to Ohio'' just to deliver this comeback.
103	* One episode of ''Series/SpinCity'' has Caitlin deliver [[NoYou a decidedly lame retort]] to one of Mike's comments and storm out of the room. A moment later, she sticks her head back in and delivers a (very slightly) better one. Mike is unimpressed.
104	-->'''Mike:''' You know, Caitlin, they're not called "comebacks" because you leave and then come back.
105	[[/folder]]
106
107	[[folder:Magazines]]
108	* In a strip by Dave Berg of ''Magazine/{{MAD}}'', a woman tells her husband that he has "20/20 hindsight." Moments later he thinks, "When she said I had 20/20 hindsight, I ''should'' have said..."
109	[[/folder]]
110
111	[[folder:Radio]]
112	* A variation from the legendary Fred Allen/Jack Benny feud: Allen once told Benny, "You couldn't ad-lib a belch at a Hungarian dinner." Benny's reply: "[[IResembleThatRemark You wouldn't dare talk to me that way if my writers were here!]]"
113	* Not an insult, but in one episode of ''Radio/ImSorryIHaventAClue'', Humph mentioned that an interviewer said he was an "[[{{Malaproper}} orthinologist]]". He was on the way home before it occurred to him that the correct reply was "Not so much an orthinologist as a word-botcher".
114	[[/folder]]
115
116	[[folder:Stand Up Comedy]]
117	* Emo Philips inverts this.
118	-->I was driving down the highway, and I'm swerving all over, 'cause I'm trying to change the radio, and just as I get the old one taken out I hear this traffic cop behind me, "Whee-oo, whee-oo, whee-oo" .... well, I shouldn't make fun of his speech impediment... He asks me to walk in a straight line, so I do, then he asks me "You call that a straight line?". Well, I should have said, I should have said.... "yes". But I was nervous and the only thing I could think of was "Well, Officer Pythagoras, the closest you'll ever come to a straight line is if they do an electroencephalogram of your own brain-waves!" He said: "You're under arrest."
119	* Inverted by Mike Birbiglia in the [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin informatively-titled]] "What I Should Have Said Was Nothing: Tales From My Secret Public Journal".
120	[[/folder]]
121
122	[[folder:Tabletop Games]]
123	* ''TabletopGame/InNomine'': It's not unheard of for celestials to be bound to extremely specific and unfortunate Words. One such example is Thratch, the Demon of Snappy Comebacks You Only Think of After It's Too Late.
124	[[/folder]]
125
126	[[folder:Video Games]]
127	* ''VideoGame/MassEffectAndromeda:'' Invoked in one argument between Nakmor Drack and Cora Harper. The former suffers an "Old Man Moment" mid-bicker, and vows to come up with a snappy retort later.
128	* ''VideoGame/HiFiRush:'' After Kale attempts to [[DeadlyEuphemism "fire"]] [[spoiler:Korsica]] using the [=CH-AS1R=] laser beams, he has this realisation:
129	-->'''Kale:''' "You're fired?" ...Oh, OH, should have used the flamethrower! Alright, well, there's always next time.
130	[[/folder]]
131
132	[[folder:Webcomics]]
133	* ''Webcomic/PennyAndAggie'': In one strip, Aggie [[http://www.pennyandaggie.com/index.php?p=685 did this deliberately]], presumably to avoid a fight.
134	* ''Webcomic/TheNonAdventuresOfWonderella'': In one strip, Wonderella's arch-enemy leaves a confrontation with a cutting remark that Wonderella's stupidity isn't a superpower. A week later, Wonderella comes with a comeback that would have been witty in reply ("Neither is anorexia!") and resolves to use it when she has the chance. One week further one, she shoots it out mid-fight, but by that point it's entirely out of context and her enemy has no idea what she's talking about.
135	* ''Webcomic/TwoGuysAndGuy'': [[http://www.twogag.com/archives/3467 Wayne thinks up a comeback]] to something Guy said about his online dating profile ''three years ago'' -- and had since forgotten about saying in the first place.
136	* ''Webcomic/{{Vexxarr}}'': When Vexxarr is getting ready to finally depart Earth, his nemesis from the homeowners' association comes over to see him off with one final tirade. Naturally, Vexxarr comes up with a [[http://www.vexxarr.com/archive.php?seldate=102405 really good menacing response]] to his parting remark just after the man has gotten out of earshot.
137	[[/folder]]
138
139	[[folder:Web Original]]
140	* ''Website/NotAlwaysRomantic'': One story has a woman find a clever way around this -- when she thinks of ways to tell off her husband's boss too late, she writes them down and later gives them to another girl said boss is harrassing. It works like a charm.
141	[[/folder]]
142
143	[[folder:Western Animation]]
144	* ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons'':
145	** Whenever this happens to Homer Simpson, when he tells the story later, he has himself actually saying the thing he should have said. Case in point from "Secrets To a Successful Marriage":
146	--->''[In his mind] Slow? They called you slow! [Now standing up to confront the guys, only to see everyone has left and its nighttime]'' HOW DARE YOU CALL ME THAT...!"
147	** Marge has this for new housemate, Becky (long story) in "It's A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Marge" where she eventually gets sick of the family liking her better and thinks up a "comeback" for her while driving in the car:
148	--->"Shut up, Becky!"
149	** Sideshow Bob provided another example.
150	--->'''Marge:''' You awful man! Stay away from my son!\
151	'''Bob:''' Oh, I'll stay away from your son ''alright''. Stay away... ''(does a KubrickStare)'' ''forever!''\
152	'''Homer:''' Oh, no!\
153	'''Bob:''' Wait a minute, that's no good. ''(leaves, groaning in frustration, only to return a moment later)'' Wait! I've got a good one now! Marge, say "Stay away from my son" again!\
154	'''Marge:''' ''No!''\
155	'''Bob:''' ''(rake grumble)''
156	* ''WesternAnimation/TheAdventuresOfSuperMarioBros3'' has this when Mario confronts Bowser in the Ninja Koopa episode.
157	-->'''Mario:''' Let my friends go or ''else!''\
158	'''Koopa:''' Or else what?\
159	'''Mario:''' Err... Just let them go, and I'll come back Tuesday and tell ya.
160	* ''WesternAnimation/PhineasAndFerb'':
161	** In "Unfair Science Fair", Candace was called "slow as molasses" by another girl competing for a job at Mr. Slushy Burger, but Candace could only manage to retort with "I think I'll call you... something slower than molasses, that's for sure!" [[BrickJoke At the end of the episode]]:
162	--->'''Candace:''' Snail! I'll call you "snail"!\
163	'''Wendy:''' [[SarcasmMode Ooh. You're good.]]
164	** Doof does it to himself after trapping Perry the Platypus on his hover machine in "What Do It Do?":
165	--->'''Doof:''' So you see, Perry the Platypus, I have more hidden traps here than....than...what's something with a lot of traps?" [Later, after Perry escapes and the two are fighting:] "A golf course! That's something with a lot of traps!
166	** Doof does it to his rival mad scientist Rodney when they enter an "Inator Creator" contest. Doof says Rodney will cry like something that cries a lot. In the end, Doof finally figures out that a baby cries a lot.
167	* In ''WesternAnimation/TheClevelandShow'', Cleveland tries to come up with witty insults for Donna's cousin Jannett, but knowing her, she'd retort with "Leave, Cleve."
168	* In the ''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy'' episode "The Big Bang Theory", Stewie uses his time machine so he could go back in time and use the good comeback.
169	** In "Excellence in Broadcasting" Brian meets with Creator/RushLimbaugh at a book signing. While walking home, he says, "Yeah, you can sign my ''ass'' book. Is what would've been awesome to say."
170	* In ''WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic'', "Bridle Gossip", the six main characters are cursed with odd ailments. [[SnarkyNonhumanSidekick Spike]] comes up with pun-based joke names for each, before stumbling over Twilight Sparkle.
171	-->'''Spike:''' This is hilarious! Look at all of you! We got "Hair"-ity, Rainbow "Crash", "Spittie" Pie, Apple-"teeny", "Flutterguy", and... uh... I got nothin'. ''[aside to the audience]'' "Twilight Sparkle"... I mean, seriously. I can't even work with that.\
172	''[later, after the girls leave]'' Ah! Twilight "Flopple"!
173	* The ''WesternAnimation/StevenUniverse'' pilot has Steven thinking of comebacks against Lars after he leaves the doughnut shop. He was carrying around a trinket that allowed him to travel back to the insult, allowing Steven to make the comeback right away three times. The bad news is that now that's the ''only'' thing the device could be used for.
174	* One minor villain on ''WesternAnimation/TheBatman'' had the ability to go back in time a short while at will, meaning he could win a fight with Batman via SaveScumming. He also uses this power to rewind time after he realizes he made a LameComeback, erasing it from all (but his) memories.
175	* Done in an episode of ''WesternAnimation/EarthwormJim'', where Jim makes his triumphant return and announces he's "as strong as a...a really big thing." After seizing victory, he says "HORSE! Strong as a HORSE! That's what I should have said!"
176	* In ''WesternAnimation/JusticeLeague'', Batman has an argument with his KnightTemplar AlternateUniverse self about freedom vs. tyranny, and Justice Lord Batman ''wins'', arguing that under their "tyranny", the Justice Lords have created a world where [[DeathByOriginStory no other little boy will ever have to watch his parents be murdered before his eyes]]. Justice League Batman can't think of a rebuttal for that and admits defeat. Later, the two are driving down the street and see [[AllCrimesAreEqual a man get arrested for complaining about his restaurant bill]], and League Batman finally gets his rebuttal.
177	-->'''League Batman:''' They'd love it here, don't you think?\
178	'''Lord Batman:''' Who?\
179	'''League Batman:''' Mom and Dad. [[SarcasmMode They'd be]] ''[[SarcasmMode so]]'' [[DisappointedInYou proud of you.]]\
180	'''Lord Batman:''' ...Just drive.
181	* Invoked in ''WesternAnimation/StarWarsRebels'' when the ''Ghost'' crew are fleeing stormtroopers through a sewer. They have to split up, and Sabine jokes that she will track the others via their smell. Ezra is searching for an appropriate retort only for Hera to curtly tell him to think of a comeback later as they don't have time.
182	[[/folder]]
183
184	[[folder:Real Life]]
185	* There's a Creator/DouglasAdams quote related to this trope, which goes something like this: "I am not a wit -- I am a comedy writer. A wit thinks of something funny immediately; a comedy writer thinks of something ''very'' funny two hours later."
186	[[/folder]]

Context Main / ComebackTomorrow