Follow TV Tropes

Following

Context Main / CargoEnvy

Go To

1%% Image removed per Image Pickin' thread: https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/posts.php?discussion=1298734712089620100
2%% Please start a new thread if you'd like to suggest an image.
3%%
4->''"See how she leans her cheek upon her hand.''
5->''O that I were a glove upon that hand,''
6->''That I might touch that cheek."''
7-->-- '''Romeo''', ''Theatre/RomeoAndJuliet''
8
9It never fails; show a sexy woman touching a particular object (especially if she's hugging it, sitting on it, or [[OralFixation has it in her mouth]]), and somebody will say "Boy, I wish I were a [object]." Sometimes may lead to the envious person having [[EnmityWithAnObject enmity/rivalry with said object]].
10
11See also CargoShip, when the audience imagines a CrackPairing along similar lines.
12
13----
14!!Examples:
15[[foldercontrol]]
16
17[[folder:Advertising]]
18* Sony has used this in ads for the UsefulNotes/PlaystationPortable.
19* From the iconic jingle from Oscar Meyer:
20-> I wish I was an Oscar Meyer wiener.
21-> That is what I truly wish to be.
22-> Because if I was an Oscar Meyer wiener,
23-> Everyone would be in love with me.
24[[/folder]]
25
26[[folder:Anime and Manga]]
27* In one episode of ''Anime/PokemonTheSeriesDiamondAndPearl'', one part involves Brock saying about Cynthia, "I wish I were in her arms instead of that ice cream!". Right after she takes a lick of it.
28* Several times throughout ''Manga/ToLoveRu'', boys would comment that they wished they were article of clothing on [[MsFanService Lala's]] body. At one point, Yuuki Rito (through a bizarre set of circumstances) becomes Lala's personal robot Peke. One of Peke's main jobs is to materialize clothes for Lala which he (and in this case, Rito) must control, so in essence '''he actually accomplished the trope'''. Yuuki himself had never expressed such a wish, and he found it very awkward and embarrassing.
29* ''Manga/MysteriousGirlfriendX'' chapter 61 has Tsubaki become envious of a shirt he left with Urabe, [[SexyShirtSwitch as she decided to use it as pajamas]].
30* ''Anime/YokaiWatch'': When watching a show of idol group Next Harmeowny on the "after hours channel" with his male friends, during a scene where the girls are taking a bubble bath together, Eddie comments on how he wishes he were one of those bubbles.
31* In chapter 56 of ''Manga/KaguyaSamaLoveIsWar'', the protagonists have a [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tsukimi moon-viewing]] party. Kaguya gets irritated when her LoveInterest pays more attention to stargazing than to her.
32[[/folder]]
33
34[[folder:Fan Works]]
35* ''Fanfic/HarryPotterAndTheNightmaresOfFuturesPast'': Harry sees Ginny stroking Crookshanks the cat on her lap, and has to suppress a stab of jealousy toward the cat. (But since Ginny is quite willing to sit on his lap, both before and after this, his jealousy doesn't escalate at all.)
36* In Chapter 10 of ''Fanfic/IveGotYourBack'', [[VideoGame/Splatoon2 Pearl]] briefly stews with envy when she sees Marina kiss a sea bunny on the head while window-shopping at the pet store in Arowana Mall.
37* In the ''WesternAnimation/MiraculousLadybug'' fic ''[[https://archiveofourown.org/works/29362821 Of Soulmates]]'', [[{{Catboy}} Adrien]] is unimpressed by the stuffed cat toy his girlfriend cuddles with every night.
38-->''"[[EnmityWithAnObject She likes me better than you, you know.]]"''
39[[/folder]]
40
41[[folder:{{Film}}]]
42* ''Film/Wishmaster4TheProphecyFulfilled'': A variant when a bartender says within earshot of the disguised JackassGenie, in reference to a hot stripper working in the place, "I'd sell my soul to be a pimple on her ass". The Djinn is more than happy to grant his wish.
43* A review of ''Film/ALifeLessOrdinary'' included a picture of Cameron Diaz BoundAndGagged with the caption "Oh! To be that duct tape! Oh! To be that rope!"
44* The Pauly Shore comedy ''Film/BioDome'' shows him and a buddy going to a job interview. When asked what their ambitions in life are, one of the boys says: "To die and come back as a leotard," and the other one nods and starts breathing heavily.
45* In ''Film/FridayThe13th2009'' reboot, Chewey wishes he could "die and come back as one of the little buttons on the ass pocket" of Bree's jean shorts.
46* At the end of ''Film/DeadHeat'', Doug says he'd like to come back as a girl's bicycle seat.
47* Jackie Mason's character in ''Film/CaddyshackII'', when told to "be the ball," responds with, "If I wanted to be a piece of sports equipment, I'd be a women's bicycle seat!"
48* The ''Romeo And Juliet'' example is parodied in ''Film/TromeoAndJuliet'': Tromeo says those same lines while Juliet's gloved hands are touching her ''other'' cheeks. Shakespeare would no doubt approve of [[DoubleEntendre this joke]].
49* In ''Film/VanillaSky'' Tom Cruise's character says he wants to be the mole on his girlfriend's breast.
50* In ''Film/WithHonors'', Moira Kelly calls Creator/BrendanFraser's character into the bathroom to talk to him while she is in the shower and shaving her legs (we can partly see her through the shower curtain). Though his back is turned he can't resist [[WatchingTheReflectionUndress checking her out in the mirror]], and after leaving he remarks "Never wanted to be a razor so bad in my life."
51* In ''Film/{{Christine}}'' two teenagers watch a girl nibbling the end of a pencil, and they say how they wish they were an eraser.
52* In ''Film/CitySlickers'', two guys are watching an attractive woman riding a horse, and one of them says, "Boy, that saddle's having all the fun."
53[[/folder]]
54
55[[folder:{{Literature}}]]
56* A gender-flipped version in the novelization of ''Film/SupermanReturns'' as Kitty watches ComicBook/LexLuthor "playing" with a [[DataCrystal crystal]].
57* An anthology of ''Literature/DominoLady'' short stories had her team up with ComicBook/{{Airboy}}. At the end, she leaves a lipstick mark on [[CoolPlane Birdy]] and Airboy remarks that for the first time, he's actually envious of his plane.
58* Dan Rhodes "The Violoncello" features a truly bizarre example, a young man actually has his soul transferred into a cello, one then given to his girlfriend, who's a music student. [[spoiler: It doesn't end well.]]
59* In the Literature/{{Burke}} novels, prosecutor Eva Wolfe is smoking a cigarette when she notices a man leering at her.
60-->'''Man:''' I wish I was that cigarette.\
61'''Wolfe:''' So do I. ''(drops cigarette on the ground and crushes it under her heel)''
62* Parlabane in ''The Rebel Angels'' sings a song about wishing he were a diamond ring "upon his lady's hand". Not romantic in the slightest - "every time she wiped her arse/I'd see the Promised Land!"
63* In ''Literature/LookingForAlaska'', Alaska uses a tube of toothpaste to give Lara and Pudge a demonstration of how to give a blowjob. Pudge reflects "never have I so wanted to be Crest Complete".
64* In ''Mr Bean's Diary'' (the tie-in book to the TV series ''Series/MrBean''), Mr Bean writes a poem saying that the one thing he would love to be Shirley Bassey's microphone, so she can sing to him. He also writes to her agent, asking for this. The agent misreads the letter, and thinks that he is asking for the microphone itself.
65* In ''The Violet's Embryos'' by Creator/AngelicaGorodischer, a group of astronauts arrive at a planet whose inhabitants can use its special properties to create anything for themselves they want. They won't tell the astronauts how it's done, but one of the astronauts manages (without being able to explain how) to create a bracelet to give to his girlfriend at home. In the end it's revealed that [[spoiler: to create something, you have to imagine being it. The one astronaut who succeeded is so in love with his girlfriend that when thinking of a bracelet for her, he immediately started thinking about how great it would be to be worn around her wrist every day.]]
66* John Betjeman's poem ''Myfanwy'', which was later turned word-for-word into a [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oAQ8UQ6Xu4o song by David Essex]], describes the eponymous object of Betjeman's affections riding her bicycle home from a shopping trip, delivering us the line:
67--> "Trace me your wheel-tracks, you fortunate bicycle..."
68[[/folder]]
69
70[[folder:{{Live-Action TV}}]]
71* In ''Series/JustShootMe'', Dennis and Kevin are watching Maya's new assistant Amy drink coffee. Dennis wishes he were the coffee mug, so that she would have her lips all over him. Kevin, on the other hand, wishes he were the spoon, "so that she could pick me up by my ankles and dip me in steaming hot coffee."
72* In ''Series/RobinHood'' Guy of Gisborne watches Marian pet her horse, at which point the Sheriff asks him: "Not envious of a horse, are you?"
73* In ''Series/LizzieMcGuire'', Lizzie makes a remark like this regarding the helmet on Ethan Craft's head.
74* During New Directions' performance of "Toxic" on ''Series/{{Glee}}'': "I WANNA BE THAT HAT!" (the hat in question being held in front of Mr. Schu's crotch)
75* An episode of ''Series/SavedByTheBell'' had a guy woo a girl with poetry, wishing to be her straw so that he could touch her lips. Screech sees the effectiveness and tries it on Lisa, "I wish I were the ketchup on your plate / So you could stick your french fries in my face!" Lisa crams her french fries in Screech's mouth and walks off in disgust.
76* GenderFlip: In an episode of ''Series/{{Friends}}'' when Phoebe has spontaneously developed a crush on Monica and Ross's dad, and therefore finds all the decidedly ordinary things he does sexy: "What I wouldn't give to be that can of... ''(looks closer)'' condensed milk!"
77* ''Series/{{Community}}'' has Troy and Abed both attracted to a HotLibrarian, with Troy wishing he was her book so she could flip through his pages and stop people drawing weiners in him.
78* ''Series/MarriedWithChildren'': While at the nudie bar, Jefferson needs to get an anniversary gift for his wife, a stripper suggests a tattoo and shows everyone hers (It's her boyfriend's name and it is somewhere that can't be shown on tv)
79--> '''Ike:''' Oh man, I'd love to be her boyfriend.
80--> '''Griff:''' I'd love to be her boyfriend's name.
81* ''Series/UnbreakableKimmySchmidt'': Kimmy is catcalled by a construction worker named Mikey who wishes he were her jeans. Kimmy, a naive WomanChild, cheerfully replies that she [[ComicallyMissingThePoint wishes she were his yellow hat]]. The strange conversation makes Mikey [[HeelRealization question why he treats women that way,]] sparking his ComingOutStory.
82[[/folder]]
83
84
85[[folder:Music]]
86* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FSL6nzNPLP8 Life would be oh so sweet, if I was a bicycle seat.]]
87** A Brazilian [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n8LSUiU0KxY song]] was similar (also asking to be some girl's panties)
88* The old song "Cindy, Cindy":
89-->I wish I was an apple
90-->A-hangin' on a tree,
91-->And every time my Cindy'd pass
92-->She'd take a bite of me.
93* The song "Ticks": "You press your bottle to your lips, and I wish I was your beer".
94* "Jealous of your Cigarette" by Hawksley Workman
95-->I'm jealous of your cigarette\
96And all the things you do with it\
97I'm jealous of your cigarette\
98And how you wanna suck on it\
99And not me
100* Charlotte Martin has [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JVb4d_eTejY Keep Me In Your Pocket.]]
101* Sergio Mendes' song "Like a Lover" is full of this trope:
102-->"How I envy a cup that knows your lips\
103Let it be me, my love\
104And a table that feels your fingertips\
105Let it be me, let me be your love."
106* "Bang on a Piano" by Jack [=McManus=] has "And that blanket wrapped around you, wish that was me."
107* "(I Wanna Be) Your Underwear" by Bryan Adams, inspired by the public reveal of a private phone call between Prince Charles and Camilla Parker Bowles.
108* Katherine Hinkson's "Irish Love Song" set to the Londonderry Air (better known as the tune to "Danny Boy.")
109-->Would God I were the tender apple blossom\
110That floats and falls from off the twisted bough\
111To lie and faint within your silken bosom\
112Within your silken bosom as that does now.
113* The {{filk}} song ''[[http://www.echoschildren.org/CDlyrics/Commonthings.html Common Things]]'' by EchosChildren
114-->All these common things surround you, and my heart has no defense.\
115Am I mad that I might envy things with neither thought nor sense?\
116Even though they never know it, yet your passing lends them grace;\
117I would trade and count it fortune, to be standing in their place.
118* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bvd3qCnsAaY&ob=av2e Toni Braxton's Spanish guitar]]:
119-->I wish that I was in your arms\
120like that Spanish Guitar\
121and you could play me through the night until the dawn...
122* "Sugar, We're Going Down" by Fall Out Boy:
123-->Oh don't mind me I'm watching you two from the closet\
124Wishing to be the friction in your jeans\
125
126* "Gasoline" by {{Music/Seether}} has one increasingly [[{{Squick}} squicky]] example in each verse.
127* Music/{{ABBA}}'s song "Dum Dum Diddle" from the "Arrival" album:
128-->Dum-dum-diddle, to be your fiddle\
129To be so near you and not just hear you\
130Dum-dum-diddle, to be your fiddle\
131I think then maybe you'd see me, baby\
132You'd be mine\
133And we'd be together all the time\
134Wish I was, dum-dum-diddle, your darling fiddle
135* From Music/TomLehrer's "Masochism Tango", on the album ''Music/AnEveningWastedWithTomLehrer'':
136-->And I envy the rose\
137That you held in your teeth, love,\
138With the thorns underneath, love,\
139Sticking into your gums.
140* Music/GarthBrooks has a song about reincarnation. And it's called "Cowgirl Saddle".
141* The ''Now, Now'' song "Wolf" has a slightly morbid example of the trope:
142-->''I would kill to be the cold\
143Tracing your body and shaking your bones''
144* Music/ArcticMonkeys, "Arabella":
145-->Wraps her lip round a Mexican Coke
146-->Makes you wish that you were the bottle
147* The 18th century French song "Tendres Souhaits" ([[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zFyYgGJJYmk (a.k.a. Que ne suis-je la fougère]]) is a whole list of these (her mirror, the grass she sits on, her bathrobe after the bath, the wind to caress her cleavage, etc.). In the end the narrator concludes that "The gods that created me made me too ambitious- For in the end I want to be everything that pleases her eye".
148[[/folder]]
149
150[[folder:Professional Wrestling]]
151* More than once during Wrestling/StacyKeibler's ring entrances (which involve her slowly bending over and straddling the middle rope as she steps into the ring), commentator Wrestling/JerryLawler has wished he could be the middle rope.
152[[/folder]]
153
154[[folder:Theatre]]
155* OlderThanSteam: [[JustForFun/TheZerothLawOfTropeExamples From]] Creator/WilliamShakespeare comes
156** ''Theatre/RomeoAndJuliet'':
157-->''See how she leanes her cheek upon her hand.''
158-->''O that I were a glove upon that hand,''
159-->''That I might touch that cheek.''\
160
161** ''Theatre/AntonyAndCleopatra'':
162--> "O happy horse, to bear the weight of Antony!"
163[[/folder]]
164
165[[folder:Poetry]]
166* In Creator/WilliamShakespeare's "Sonnet 128", the poet envies the keys of the virginal (the musical instrument very much like the harpsichord) that they are touched by the dark lady's fingers. It's very sexy and very erotic.
167* It seems to have been taken down now, but there used to be a poem on deviantART expressing envy of Music/DavidBowie's microphone stand.
168* The Tennyson poem ''[[http://www.poetry-archive.com/t/the_millers_daughter.html The Miller's Daughter]]'' has the poet desiring to be her earring, corset, and necklace, all so that he could be close to her.
169* OlderThanFeudalism: in Creator/{{Ovid}}'s ''Amores'', he expresses a strong desire to be the ring on his mistresses finger.
170* Likewise, in many of the poems of Creator/{{Catullus}}, he desires to be this or that belonging to his mistress, Lesbia. Most famously, he wants to be her ''passer'' or pet "sparrow." Though some believe it may not really be a sparrow.
171* John Donne's "The Flea" makes it sound like he's envious that the titular parasite has been more intimate with the addressee than he has. However, rather than wallow in jealousy he uses InsaneTrollLogic to justify to her why, since the same flea has bitten both of them, they've as good as had sex already so they may as well do it for real.
172* Creator/AlexanderPushkin has a short poem dedicated to a tobacco sniffing girl. In the end, he states he wishes to be that tobacco, for her [[{{Fetish}} to spill a bit over herself]].
173* In [[http://www.bartleby.com/358/321.html this sonnet]] by the obscure Elizabethan poet Barnabe Barnes, the speaker wishes to be his mistress's gloves, pearls, belt, and wine -- the latter so that he could have the experience of her peeing him out. (The few scholars who have written about this poem generally think he's poking fun at this trope.)
174[[/folder]]
175
176[[folder:Video Games]]
177* In ''VideoGame/MassEffect3'', [[CoolStarship EDI]] gets a [[RobotGirl humanoid platform]]. [[LovableSexManiac Kenneth Donnelly]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=klmOijhuhxM&t=4m22s notes]] that "if she ever accidentally walks into a wall, there's just [[MostCommonSuperpower so much padding]]. Wish I were a wall." The long-suffering Gabrielle Daniels says "[[DeadpanSnarker You pretty much are, Kenneth.]]"
178[[/folder]]
179
180[[folder:Web Comics]]
181* ''Webcomic/{{Nodwick}}'': ''"[[https://web.archive.org/web/20120211200401/http://nodwick.humor.gamespy.com/gamespyarchive/index.php?date=2007-02-14 Lucky bastard sword!]]"''. Of course, [[EmpathicWeapon it's already a piece of metal]], but what with all this "melting down" part.
182* ''Webcomic/SequentialArt'' got [[http://www.collectedcurios.com/sequentialart.php?s=194 this]] demonstrated by the AuthorAvatar (''hamster'')... and a [[http://www.collectedcurios.com/sequentialart.php?s=236 platypus]]. [[http://www.collectedcurios.com/sequentialart.php?s=311 Yes]], platypus.
183* ''Webcomic/CyanideAndHappiness'' has [[http://www.explosm.net/comics/1507/ this]]. Naturally, it goes horribly wrong.
184[[/folder]]
185
186[[folder:Web Original]]
187* In the third episode of ''WebVideo/NarutoTheAbridgedComedyFandubSpoofSeriesShow'', Naruto spies on Sasuke, who is eating a riceball, and exclaims, "Oh my god, Sasuke is so fucking pretty! What I wouldn't give to be that riceball..."
188** "I am going to get all up in his guts!"
189* The subject of one Website/{{Vine}}:
190->'''Man:''' What are you doing?\
191'''Woman:''' Smelling a rose.\
192'''Man:''' Uh, weird. ''[under his breath]'' I wish I was that rose...\
193'''Woman:''' What?\
194'''Man:''' I said, you're gross.
195* On the Cheeseburger Network section So Much Pun, this [[http://puns.icanhascheezburger.com/2011/03/20/funny-puns-breast-job-ever/ arguably applies]].
196[[/folder]]
197
198[[folder:Western Animation]]
199* In a sketch on ''WesternAnimation/RobotChicken'', a young man who's died and is going to be reincarnated has to spin a wheel to find out what he's going to be reincarnated ''as''. One of the options is "Creator/KeiraKnightley's panties". Guess which one he wants. Go on, guess.
200** Lampshaded by the Monk who shows him the wheel, who sighs and gives an annoyed "''everyone'' wishes for that one".
201* ''WesternAnimation/AmericanDad'': "Let's face it, if that wishing bowl really worked, it would belong to a centuries-old Incan driving a Ferrari on his way to his job as Creator/JessicaAlba's G-string."
202* ''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy'':
203** Parodied by Chris
204--->'''Chris''': She's so pretty that if your Hacky Sack were my private parts, I'd let her do that to them.
205--->'''Classmate''': What? [[GroinAttack Kick them around?]]
206--->'''Chris''': ..Wait... ... ... ...yes.
207** Peter in the Wonder Twins parody:
208--->'''Peter:''' Form of Jayna's tampon! ...And now we play the waiting game.
209* ''WesternAnimation/AdventureTime'' had a complex version of this that started off as:
210-->'''Jake''': [[ItMakesSenseInContext "You wish you were my butt."]]
211* Comes up in a ''WesternAnimation/BeavisAndButtHead'' episode when Beavis and Butt-Head are watching a girl eating French fries.
212-->'''Butt-Head''': Someday, Beavis, we'll be those fries.
213* In the ''WesternAnimation/{{Grojband}}'' episode "All You Need is Cake", Trina spends most of her time crying over apparently "breaking up" with her favorite pink sweater and then regretting it, and her best friend Mina ends up envious of said sweater.
214* ''WesternAnimation/MarvelsSpiderMan'' has a humorous example. After the V252 substance (AKA Venom) wreaks havoc at Tony Stark's Expo, Tony decides to take the substance with him to the Avenger's Compound. Peter remarks "Wow! I wish I were a gooey black substance; I'd get to go back to Avenger's Compound with you." Tony exits and Peter laments not getting his autograph prompting Max to ask if he's hasn't had enough awkward moments for one day.
215[[/folder]]

Top