Line #56 JustForFun/HowToCheatDeath


1	''Need to protect a character from dying? It's easy! Just:''
2
3	# Make them [[PlotArmor a main character]].
4	## Especially applies if their actor [[ContractualImmortality is still hired]].
5	# Make them [[EnsembleDarkhorse more popular than the main character]].
6	## Unless the main character is particularly [[CreatorsPet beloved by the writers]], in which case make yours slightly ''less'' popular to avoid [[TooCoolToLive complications]].
7	# Make them the main character's [[ThePowerOfLove love interest]] or [[ThePowerOfFriendship best friend]] (with plenty of CharacterDevelopment to keep them from being a FriendlyTarget).
8	# Train them in SuperNotDrowningSkills.
9	# Refer to them to indicate that they're [[CharacterOutlivesActor alive off-screen]] without appearing on-screen.
10	# Give them the superpower of [[NighInvulnerability biological invincibility]].
11	# Send them on [[HumanPopsicle a trip longer than their life-span]].
12	# Give them a PocketProtector.
13	# Put them in [[DeathTrap an elaborate killing-machine, unsupervised]].
14	# Put them in [[FakingTheDead the Plot Device Witness Protection Program]].
15	# Inflict [[MadeOfIron lethal injuries when the plot doesn't call for death]].
16	# Have rules against upsetting the BalanceBetweenGoodAndEvil.
17	# Ensure that the opposing sides [[EnforcedColdWar never actually come to blows]].
18	# Make the other characters [[LeftForDead perfectly satisfied they're dead]].
19	# Honorably discharge them from the cast with [[AscendToAHigherPlaneOfExistence a possibility they could return]].
20	# Allow the villain to indulge at having [[BondVillainStupidity the perfect opportunity to kill them]].
21	# [[{{Bowdlerise}} Rewrite the show]] to make it [[NeverSayDie safer]]/ lower the target audience age.
22	# Have their [[TrueLovesKiss true love kiss them]].
23	# Make them [[ImprobableInfantSurvival a baby]] or a dog.
24	## Unless the latter is [[DeathByNewberyMedal in a work after the Newbery Medal.]]
25	# Put them through a situation that would surely kill them [[NotQuiteDead without showing them dead]].
26	# Make them [[JokerImmunity a talented or popular villain]].
27	# Invite [[TheOnlyOneAllowedToDefeatYou their arch rival]] to their battle with someone else.
28	# Comply with [[NeverSayDie censors]].
29	# Don't let anyone [[NeverFoundTheBody find their body]].
30	# [[OnlyAFleshWound Wound]] them during a critical, dramatic, action-packed fight scene.
31	# [[HumanPopsicle Freeze them]].
32	# Make them an incredibly cool hero with [[HollywoodHealing injuries that should be fatal]].
33	# Make them [[SealedEvilInACan too powerful to be killed]].
34	# Have them get captured by an egotistical villain with [[WhyDontYaJustShootHim a flair for the dramatic]].
35	# Remind TheHero that IfYouKillHimYouWillBeJustLikeHim.
36	# [[DeathTakesAHoliday Imprison whoever makes people die]].
37	# Cast them in a [[DisneyDeath Disney movie]]. (So long as you ''don't'' make them one of the [[ParentalAbandonment parents]] of the [[HeartwarmingOrphan very young protagonist]].)
38	# Diagnose them with [[MistakenForDying a fatal illness]].
39	# Give them [[KissOfLife artificial respiration]].
40	# Make TheHero [[SwordOverHead defeat them in a duel]], preferably [[SaveTheVillain on top of a building]].
41	# Have them ask any killer to GetItOverWith.
42	# Take the body to [[WakingUpAtTheMorgue the morgue]].
43	# Leave behind a [[DecoyGetaway decoy]] and escape.
44	# Make it very clear [[NoOneCouldSurviveThat no one could have survived that]].
45	# Use TimeTravel to go back in time and [[TrickedOutTime make it look like they died, but really didn't.]]
46	# Literally ''[[ChessWithDeath cheat]]'': Knock over one of His playing pieces, then reset the board while He isn't looking.
47	# Have Death [[BalancingDeathsBooks take someone more expendable]] instead.
48	# Have them [[CreatorsPet make a few "friends" on the writing staff]] despite [[TheScrappy the fanbase wishing to see the character stabbed to death with numerous sharp pointies]].
49	# [[MerchandiseDriven Make a new toy for them.]]
50	# Do not give them any [[TabletopRPG stats]].
51	# But, really, if you ever feel like it, just [[BackFromTheDead bring them back from the dead]]. [[AssPull However you like]].
52	# Most importantly, make sure [[RunningTheAsylum no one important in making the show wants you dead for no good reason]].
53	# And if you can't follow this list, take everyone else down with you.
54	# Remember unless it is directly before the credits Never Ever [[SexSignalsDeath have sex.]]
55	# Simply [[CursedWithAwesome curse]] them with immortality.
56	# In [[ComicBook/TheSandman certain]] circumstances, why not try having sex with it? It worked with a giant demoness in "Literature/{{Damned}}" either...
57	# Make them immune to poison.
58	# Make them an animated character in a show full of slapsticky violence.
59	## Make them a frequent victim of slapsticky violence in general, everyone loves having TheChewToy around for stress relief.
60	# [[ChessWithDeath Have him play a game with Death incarnate]], [[CombatPragmatist and/or have them literally cheat death.]]
61	# If they're at Death's door, ''never'' tell them to PleaseWakeUp or to "come back".
62	# If they receive medical attention, tell the doctor to never use the phrases "I did all I could" or "Sorry".
63	# If she's a woman, make sure she never gets pregnant to avoid DeathByChildbirth, TragicStillbirth, or ConvenientMiscarriage.
64	# If they seem dead, avoid showing a funeral or memorial or cutting to a church.
65	# Don't make them [[BuryYourGays gay]] or [[BuryYourDisabled disabled]], or if you do, get enough people concerned about avoiding UnfortunateImplications on the writing team.
66	# Give them a personality so that they're no longer a RedShirt or {{Mook}}.
67	# Make them star in three or more episodes, especially if they're a pet, ''especially'' especially if they're a goldfish, bird, or small mammal such as a hamster.
68	# If TheHeroDies, just simply [[BackupTwin summon a copy]] or an identical AlternateSelf of the hero from the past, or identical AlternateUniverse.
69	# Let Coco Martin play them.
70	# Never hook them up to an [[{{Flatline}} electrocardiogram]].
71	But really, WhoWantsToLiveForever
72	----
73	''[[CameBackWrong hhHhuuurghhh...!]]''

Context JustForFun / HowToCheatDeath