Line #21 Funny/YouCantDoThatOnTelevision


1	* Some of the preemption bumpers fall into this trope:
2	** ''Series/TheLoveBoat Goes on a Cruise Missile Cruise''
3	** ''Series/TheATeam Blows Up [[Film/TheWizardOfOz Oz]]''
4	** "''[[Series/ReadingRainbow Reading]] [[Film/FirstBlood Rambo]]'' will not be seen tonight because [[DumbMuscle Rambo can't read]]."
5	** ''Franchise/TheSmurfs vs. Franchise/{{Godzilla}}''
6	** ''[[Series/MisterRogersNeighborhood Mr. Rogers]]: Neighborhood Pusher''
7	* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dLGG7FWQyMc&t=1m7s This]] memorable exchange, from the episode "Television".
8	-->'''Christine:''' Hey listen, I know you're kind of new to this, so if you have any questions about anything at all, just ask me.\
9	'''Vanessa:''' Well, there is one thing I'd like to ask you.\
10	'''Christine:''' Sure?\
11	'''Vanessa:''' How do they make that slime they're always dumping on you?\
12	'''Christine:''' First they take some wa- ''(catches herself)'' some liquid, and then they add some jello powder, and some flour, sometimes some soap, and they dump it all over me.\
13	'''Vanessa:''' ''(looks toward the ceiling)'' Where do they dump it from?\
14	'''Christine:''' Actually Vanessa, I've always wondered that too. i just don't know.\
15	''(green slime falls on Christine's head)''\
16	'''Vanessa:''' Very interesting. Is it always green?\
17	'''Christine:''' Well, yeah it usually is, but I guess it could be red.\
18	''(red slime drops on Christine's head)''\
19	'''Christine:''' Or... it could be blue.\
20	''(blue slime drops on Christine's head)''\
21	'''Christine:''' ''(getting annoyed)'' Or yellow.\
22	''(yellow slime drops on Christine's head)''\
23	'''Christine:''' Yep... Okay, you guys think you're so smart? Let's see stripes.\
24	''(red, yellow, and blue slime falls on Christine's head)''[[note]] This specific moment is seen on television in the opening scene of ''Film/FatalAttraction''.[[/note]]\
25	'''Vanessa:''' ''(who has been in the "splash zone" of the last few slimes)'' Boy, must be tough being a TV star. By the way, how do you get this stuff out?\
26	'''Christine:''' Well, it usually washes out with water.\
27	''(water falls on Christine's head and also splashes Vanessa, but by now so much slime has fallen that very little of it washes away)''\
28	'''Christine:''' Usually.
29	** Vanessa recalled later on that even though she hadn't technically been the one slimed in that scene, she took so much of it as it splashed off from Christine that she was given the $50 bonus for that scene that actors got whenever they were slimed. Later in that same episode, Vanessa was slimed for real:
30	--->'''Christine:''' Vanessa, why do you think makeup is so important on this show?\
31	'''Vanessa:''' I don't know. ''[she gets slimed]'' MAKEUP! MAKEUP! SANDY, I NEED MY MAKEUP! ''[runs off the set - note: "Sandy" is most likely Sandra Little, the show's makeup artist]''
32	-->'''Christine:''' Now you know! ''[laughs]''
33	** Another skit in this same episode puts a new spin on "pay television."
34	--->'''Gangster on TV:''' YOUR MONEY OR YOUR LIFE!\
35	'''Vanessa:''' MOM! The pay television channel wants money again!\
36	'''Mrs. Prevert:''' What, ''again''? ''[comes over with coins to insert into the TV set]'' I just hope this is a good program, dear.
37	* The infamous sketch on "Adoption" where Senator Prevert calls the orphanage to return Adam after using him to do chores, only to learn that "adoption" is forever ([[HilarityEnsues even though the orphanage would have had to take Adam back because of how poorly Senator Prevert is treating him]]).
38	-->''(Senator Prevert is on the phone while Adam is in a living room chair, exhausted and moaning)''
39	-->'''Prevert''': Hello, hello, l-listen, is this the orphanage? Yeah, look, It's Senator Prevert here. It's about that kid we adopted this morning. Wait a minute...''(to Adam)'': What's your name again?
40	-->'''Adam''' ''(weakly)'': Adam.
41	-->'''Prevert''': What's your name?
42	-->'''Adam''': Adam.
43	-->'''Prevert''' ''(back on the phone)'': Adam. Adam. Yeah, yeah, that's right. Listen, here, you can come over here and get him and take him back...What? No, no, no. He's ''through'' here...Yea--What'd he do? He did just about everything ''([[FunnyBackgroundEvent as Adam is picking through Senator Prevert's bowl of potato chips]])'': Yeah, he washed the car and he mowed the grass and he raked up the leaves and he cleaned the windows and he did the dishes and he carried out the garbage...
44	-->'''Adam''' ''(interrupts as Prevert leans in to listen)'': C-cleaned the oven and scrubbed the kitchen floor.
45	-->'''Prevert''': Yeah, ''(back on the phone)'': Cleaned the oven and scrubbed the kitchen floor. Yeah, he's done everything that pretty well had to be done, so you can come over here and you take 'im back...What? What do you ''mean'' "Adoption is forever"?! Listen, this kid looks like he's getting hungry. He's gonna have to be fed. ''(venomously)'': You get over here right away, ya [[PrecisionFStrike damn]] bureaucrat! ''(hangs up; turns attention back to Adam)'': Hey, listen, kid, what was your name again?
46	-->'''Adam''': Adam.
47	-->'''Prevert''': Adam, yeah, they won't be here for another half-hour, so why don't you go up and clean the toilet? ''(snatches potato chip bowl as Adam reaches for another chip)'': '''''AND GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY POTATO CHIPS'''''!
48	* "Blame" (1990): Amy is in bed and calls out to her parents for a glass of water. Guess what happens? As if that weren't bad enough, she then gets accused of wetting the bed and then, when Mom asks her, "If you didn't wet the bed, who did?", replies, "I don't know." 'Nuff said.
49	--> '''Mrs. Prevert:''' ''Now'' look what you've done, young lady. ''[holds out water glass to Amy]'' Drink?
50	* The RunningGag of Mr. Schidtler's inability to spell. In the "Smoking" episode, he attempted to write on the chalkboard what is in cigarettes. He wrote "tar," "nickoteen" (nicotine), and had two failed attempts at "carcinogens" crossed out and he simply wrote "crud."
51	* One sketch where Alasdair walked into Blip's Arkaid holding a hamburger.
52	-->'''Blip''': Hold it! No food allowed in this arcade!
53	-->'''Alasdair''': Well, don't worry, Blip. This isn't food, it's a Barth Burger.
54	-->'''Blip''': No pets, either.
55	-->'''Barth''': [[CatchPhrase Daaaah, I heard that]]!
56	* The 1984 "Families" episode:
57	-->'''Christine:''' You know, Jeff, you really shouldn't let your Uncle Ross bully you so much.\
58	'''Jeff:''' Yeah, but he ''is'' my uncle, so I have to respect him. You know what they say: blood is thicker than water.\
59	'''Christine:''' ''[gleefully]'' YOU-- ''[she then gets drenched]'' Wait a second! Wait a minute here, this is not fair! HE SAID "WATER", NOT ME! ''[she gets drenched again]''\
60	'''Ross:''' Christine, I know it seems unfair, but ''[indicating Jeff]'' if I get this kid wet, his mom will kill me!\
61	'''Christine:''' Will she? ''[begins splashing Jeff]''
62	*** This set up a BrickJoke that paid off at the end of the show, when Jeff said the magic words and was slimed, and Ross groaned, "Oh no... his mom's gonna kill me!"
63	** The episode was credited by the announcer at the end as being a "Blood is Thicker Than Water Production"; after doing so, the announcer realized what he'd said and tried to protest, but ended up being drenched a moment later! (This was the series' only known instance of the announcer taking any stage pollution during the post-credits spiel, although some others were slimed or drenched in post-credits skits.)
64	** Alasdair asks Lisa what her first word was as a baby. The answer, of course, is "Wa-wa," which gets Lisa drenched.
65	* "Sexual Equality" (1981) has Christine agree to hand over her hosting duties to Lisa, Brodie and Rodney for the duration of the show. Both sides are hit with a case of BeCarefulWhatYouWishFor: the other kids have to take all the pies in the face and waterings meant for Moose, but she also has to take whatever stage pollution was meant for them. Moose probably assumed she'd be home free since the other kids usually didn't face much stage pollution, but it just so happened that Lisa was supposed to get pied in one of the links that week, so... Also, Brodie gets to say "I don't know" all he wants and isn't slimed, while Moose faces [[HoistByHisOwnPetard Hoist By Her Own Petard]] when she attempts twice to get Brodie slimed and ends up slimed herself. Finally realizing she'll have to do it herself, she dumps a bucket of slime over Brodie's head at the end of the show.
66	* "Manners" (1983):
67	** Moose had planned to read from a book by etiquette expert Amy Vanderbilt, but Ross forces her to read from a different book written by the producers of the show. Among the producers' pearls of wisdom, regarding table manners: "It is generally considered impolite to wolf your cookies while reciting your multiplication tables." (Followed by a "WTF?" look on Christine's face after she reads this.)
68	*** The producers even wrote "I don't know" in the book in order to trick Moose into getting slimed. It works.
69	** Lisa gets a ton of "Motormouth" jokes directed her way, including:
70	--->'''Mr. Schidtler:''' Lisa, please do not talk with your mouth open.\
71	'''Lisa:''' Sir, don't you mean "Do not talk with your mouth full"?\
72	'''Mr. Schidtler:''' No, I mean do not talk with your mouth ''open''.\
73	'''Lisa:''' Well, how else am I supposed to talk?!\
74	'''Mr. Schidtler:''' Exactly. ''[the other kids applaud]''
75	*** In a skit at the dinner table, after Lisa interrupts Mom once too often, Mom and Dad force Lisa to take a number so she'll know when it's her turn to talk. The number Lisa draws: '''3,796'''. Mind you, there are only three people at the table.
76	* "Addictions" (1982), which makes extensive use of footage from the Platform/{{Atari 2600}} version of ''VideoGame/PacMan'' as a running gag, is billed at the end as an "Eat 'Em Up Production", punctuated by a giant Pac-Man scrolling across the screen and literally devouring Christine, Lisa and Kevin K., then belching afterwards.

Context Funny / YouCantDoThatOnTelevision