Line #0 Funny/Waterworld

Context Funny / Waterworld

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1	!Per wiki policy, Administrivia/SpoilersOff applies here and all spoilers are unmarked. Administrivia/YouHaveBeenWarned.
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3	* "Maybe he doesn't answer to Chuck, call him Charles. Hey, ''Charles!''"
4	* The Exxon Valdez's oil reserve tankman's reaction when he sees the flare the Mariner dropped down a pipe is about to land in a pool of oil in the reserve.
5	-->'''Oil Reserve Tankman:''' [[DeathSeeker Oh thank god.]]
6	* When Helen asks about '''FOOD!!!'''
7	** Related: the Mariner offering Enola an eyeball from the whalephin and then drinking from it and eating it, much to her squickness.
8	** Before that there's a darkly hilarious scene where the Mariner takes a small tomato off his plant and puts it on the deck. Then carefully cuts it two... and eats one half. Then cuts the remaining half in two... and eats one quarter. And then eats the other quarter! All in front of the starving Helen and Enola who watch him with feverish eyes, oscilating wildly between hope and despair. There's a close up on the tiny puddle of goop and seeds left from the tomato, and Helen croaches toward it... only for the Mariner to [[KickTheDog scoop and gobble it all up as well]]!
9	* Deacon getting his new glass eye, which looks hilariously terrible and is barely even sitting in his eye socket. He asks his henchmen how it looks, and they all say that it looks great, except for one teenage smoker who tells him, [[BrutalHonesty "It looks like shit,"]] leading to:
10	--> '''Deacon:''' That's why I love children, no guile... ''(looks in a mirror)'' It ''does'' look like shit! And it feels like ''cold'' shit!
11	** Another smoker then enters, making Deacon whip his head around, which causes the eye to fall out on the floor.
12	* This:
13	--> '''Deacon:''' Y'ever hear any of your friends talk about [the mark on your back]? Like your mom? Or your pet fish?
14	--> '''Enola:''' You shouldn't make fun of him. He doesn't like it.
15	--> '''Deacon:''' I don't give a shit ''what'' he'd like! He took out my eye! And if I ever see him again, I'm gonna cut open his head, and I'm gonna '''EAT HIS BRAIN!''' ...You think he'd like ''that?''
16	* "Well, I'll be, it's the gentleman guppy. Y'know, he is like a turd that won't ''flush!''"
17	* "My boat."
18	* "Well, that made a hole."

Context Funny / Waterworld