Line #34 Funny/VirtuesLastReward


1	'''Spoilers are unmarked per wiki policy.'''
2	----
3	* The glorious return of the pipe joke.
4	-->'''Clover''': Give me a "P"!\
5	'''Tenmyouji''': Give me an "I"!\
6	'''Sigma''': What is wrong with you?!
7	* Despite being a KillerRabbit, Zero III has some rather amusing lines.
8	-->'''Zero 3/Zero Jr.:''' No, I won't wait. I don't like waiting. [[Literature/AesopsFables I waited once, and some half-witted reptile got the better of me because of it.]] After that I learned to make sure to value my time.
9	* At the crew quarters, Sigma needs to scratch off a poster of a woman wearing a bikini at the beach. He considers getting a poster like this sacred and hard to find. Too bad it necessarily didn't mean stripping her off from her clothing.
10	** After scratching off the real portions that needed to be scratched off, the sound of the coin scratching furiously is suddenly heard and Phi berates Sigma for thinking he ''can'' scratch the bikini off.
11	** Even better is if you continue to check it after everything possible has been scratched off: Sigma tries his darndest to stare ''through'' the bikini.
12	* Before entering one of the puzzle rooms, Sigma attempts to get Clover and Luna to pull on a lever using some rather suggestive dialogue. Eventually, Clover gets fed up.
13	-->'''Sigma''': Clover, try pulling that lever.\
14	'''Clover''': Why do I have to do it?\
15	'''Sigma''': It might be dangerous. I was hoping you could just wrap your hands around it and give it a good jerk. It is kinda big, but I'm sure you can handle it. Just...be gentle.\
16	'''Clover''': Uh... This doesn't seem like appropriate workplace behaviour. You're kinda grossing me out.\
17	'''Sigma''': I know you probably still think of yourself as just a girl, but you've become a woman some-\
18	'''Clover''': You're not making it any better! Why don't you do it?!\
19	'''Sigma''': If you can't take it, then maybe Luna can. Have you done this before? You just start at the base and work your way up, then give it a good tug once you get to the top.\
20	'''Luna''': ...Wh-What?\
21	'''Clover''': What is wrong with you?! If you're so desperate to give that lever a good time why don't you do it yourself! Just leave me and Luna out of your sick fantasies, you creep!\
22	'''Sigma''': Hmph. Fine. But I won't like it.\
23	'''Clover''': Oh...\
24	'''Luna''': One of the doors opened. Hmm, we might as well go through it.\
25	'''Sigma''': Maybe we should try flipping it one more time, though... I think you could actually manage with just one hand, Clover. Just do it real fast, it'll only take one second. Just up and down once...\
26	'''Clover''': Ugh. You are disgusting.
27	* In the Archives, by examining a desk again after getting the items off of it, Clover opts to crawl under the desk and check there to be sure. This gives Sigma his only successful pervy moment in the game.
28	* During the pantry if you fail to solve a puzzle too many times, Clover notes that Sigma is having a hard time, only for him to rudely ask her for the answer. She decides not to help him until he apologizes properly.
29	-->'''Clover:''' '''Say it!'''\
30	'''Sigma:''' C-Clover-chan is... hella moe...\
31	'''Clover:''' '''''Louder!'''''\
32	'''Sigma:''' '''Clover-chan is hella moe!'''\
33	'''Clover:''' Eeeeeee! Oh, you're embarrassing meeee! He he he.\
34	'''Alice:''' What in God's name is wrong with you...
35	* Sigma using logic to determine how he ended up in the game.
36	--> "Had I started a fight with a frightening and mysterious new religion? No... Had I hacked into some terrorist group's server? No... Had I witnessed an assassination? No... Had I gotten wasted and had a one night stand with the mistress of a prominent politician? [[NoodleIncident Well, yes...]] But it was just the one time...And ''she'' was the one who went after ''me''..."
37	** It gets better when you realize that Sigma proceeds to do all of these things over the course of the game. (Except the one-night stand.)
38	* K on the kiddie ride in the Rec Room, and Sigma and Alice's reactions.
39	-->'''K''': (''With an ^_^ expression'') Eeeeeeeeeee he he he he! Look at me go!\
40	'''Alice''': I... I can't watch this...\
41	'''Sigma''': There is no god...\
42	'''K''': Hey Sigma! Alice!\
43	'''Sigma''': H-he's waving at us now... Alice, what's going on? I'm scared.\
44	'''Alice''': I'm not watching this. [[NothingToSeeHere This isn't happening. Everything is fine.]]
45	* Tenmyouji voices what anyone who played ''999'' was thinking upon seeing a room labeled "Q". Rather fitting since [[PreviousPlayerCharacterCameo he was there for the first one too]].
46	--> '''Tenmyouji''': Alright, now someone's just being a smartass.
47	* The description of the jellyfish puzzle in the treatment room ends with "If you move one of the yellow jellyfish to the hole instead, [[NoFourthWall you are a failure and we are very disappointed in you]]"
48	* Going through the green door with Luna and Alice leads to a number of these, especially when examining the robot with the boxer shorts.
49	-->'''Sigma''': This one is wearing boxers...\
50	'''Alice''': Y-Yeah, looks like it...\
51	'''Luna''': Why would a robot be wearing underwear?\
52	'''Sigma''': Maybe he's, uh, hiding something.\
53	'''Luna''': Hiding what, though?\
54	'''Luna''': Like a diary or something?\
55	'''Sigma''': ''Why the hell would you hide a diary in your crotch''?!
56	** Not to mention Alice's...enthusiasm in removing the shorts to check if it has a 'hose'.
57	---> '''Alice''': Remove these shorts of obfuscation and let us gaze upon it - this so-called "hose"!
58	** In that same room, try examining the cluttered desk in the back, multiple times. The sheer amount of random things Sigma does to try and find something useful is hilarious, capping it off with Alice needing to slap Sigma so that he doesn't eat something.
59	** G-OLM, the Cockney robot (Kansai in Japanese), provides a lot of these.
60	*** We get his story about the Chinese Room, with Luna asking why it mattered if the woman involved was pretty... or what color underwear she wore.
61	---->'''G-OLM''': Just tickles my fancy, I guess. But the prettier the bird is, the more fun the story is, innit?\
62	'''Sigma''': [[CovertPervert Exactly]]!\
63	'''Luna''': What?\
64	'''Alice''': What?\
65	'''Sigma''': [[SayingTooMuch ...]]
66	** Examining the oil spill will have Luna make a comment about how slippery it is, and that it could be used to [[InnocentInnuendo 'lube something up']]. Apparently, she didn't realize how she says it could be taken in a completely different context.
67	** Then comes this comment from Luna after you examine the oil covered key the first.
68	--->'''Luna''': [[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything Okay, it's nice and lubricated now. All slick and slippery. Just slide it right in there, okay? Maybe now it'll open...]]
69	** Throughout these dialogues, Sigma is actually rather unnerved by Luna's innocent but accidentally suggestive comments, which is something coming from him. [[ChivalrousPervert To the point where examining the oil covered key again will have him ask Luna to stop talking while he uses the key]]. Luna's confusion confirms she ''really'' didn't realize the implications of her wording.
70	--->'''Luna''': Okay, now that you've got it all lubed up, stick it in!\
71	'''Sigma''': S-stick it... in...? Lubed up...?\
72	'''Luna''': Yes! Why do you think we put all that lubrication on it?! It wouldn't go in otherwise!\
73	'''Sigma''': Uh, well...\
74	'''Luna''': [[InnocentInnuendo Stop teasing me! Hurry up! Put it in!]]\
75	'''Sigma''': Argh! Okay, fine! I'm doing it just... stop talking... okay?\
76	'''Luna''': ...?
77	** [[MsFanservice Alice]], however, offers to slip into a doctor's labcoat because she figured that Sigma might be into that sort of thing. His blush confirms it for her.
78	* Sigma isn't the only CovertPervert - [[DirtyOldMan Tenmyouji]] has a conversation with Quark about a pin-up poster in the Crew Quarters, and expresses a desire to head back home to watch some of his "[[PornStash Grandpa videos]]". He does, however, have the good sense to keep said videos in a locked cabinet.
79	* While explaining the multiple-worlds theory, Phi asks Sigma to do anything to elaborate her point. Among the choices you can pick for this besides the ones she mentions include moonwalking, tap-dancing, and blowing a kiss.
80	* Dealing with the SchrodingersGun aspects of the game, at one point Sigma is taken aback that in one route Alice betrays and in another, she allies, depending on what Sigma chose. He goes over all the aspects of why this shouldn't have happened, when...
81	-->'''Sigma''': No, wait... wait! Wait wait wait wait ''wait!'' '''Why the fuck was I talking so casually about going back in time?!'''
82	* Sigma's reactions to a lot of the puzzles, especially the difficult ones.
83	-->'''Sigma''': I JUST SOLVED THE ''SHIT'' OUT OF THIS PUZZLE!
84	** This is funnier when you remember Creator/TroyBaker said a similar line in [[VideoGame/{{Catherine}} another game.]]
85	** Pretty much ''everything'' Sigma says becomes this retroactively when you learn he's in his 67-year-old body. It's funny enough imagining Creator/TroyBaker saying Sigma's lines, but try to imagine the voice of ''[[Creator/JamiesonPrice Jamieson Freaking Price]]'' spewing cat puns!
86	* Dio offers an invite to K for a drink in the lounge. K is not impressed.
87	-->'''Dio''': You wanna tag along K?\
88	'''K''': Are you making fun of me? I find it rather hard to drink with this mask on.\
89	'''Dio''': Oh, right, of course. My bad.\
90	'''K''': ...
91	** What makes this funnier is that Dio's response to K implies that he genuinely forgot that K is wearing a mask, and wasn't actually making a bad joke at K's expense.
92	* The player's [[FridgeBrilliance realization]], post-[[TheReveal reveal]], that the flowers on Luna's dress resemble the UsefulNotes/MicrosoftWindows logo.
93	* Going to the laboratory with Dio and Clover prompts the latter to make go on a tirade of puns, prompting VisibleSilence from both Dio and Sigma. After Clover pats herself on the back for her humor skills:
94	-->'''Dio:''' Sigma, please, let me give her a smack.\
95	'''Sigma:''' I wouldn't do that. What if it only makes her ''worse''?
96	** In the same place, when you examine the "hole" on the table...
97	--->'''Clover:''' Is that a speaker on the table?\
98	'''Sigma:''' IT'S A DRAIN! What is wrong with you?!
99	* Clover's insistence that the jellyfish are aliens. And then naming the purple one "Ellen" after fishing it out of the tank.
100	* Clover's mistake when saying what is in the Pantry is one that sticks around during the whole time you are exploring the room, with Sigma and Alice making multiple jokes
101	-->'''Clover:''' I wonder what's under the wrapper.\
102	'''Alice:''' Under where?\
103	'''Sigma:''' Under there!\
104	'''Clover:''' Shut up!
105	* Exploring the Director's Office with Tenmyouji and Quark yields this ShoutOut to Music/TenaciousD, when they ask how you plan on using the slingshot without any ammo.
106	-->'''Sigma''': With... mind-bullets...\
107	'''Tenmyouji''': It's called "telekinesis," Sigma.
108	* This exchange between Tenmyouji and Sigma:
109	--> '''Tenmyouji:''' I'll have you know that the last guy I fought with went home in an ambulance.
110	--> '''Sigma:''' Guess you shouldn't pick a fight with a paramedic, then.
111	* Zero's hologram. He introduces himself as [[BigBad Zero]], ominous music plays. Then he informs you that he has two incredibly important things to tell you... and promptly launches into a monologue about ''termites''.
112	-->'''Zero:''' Hm. In retrospect, I suppose that's a rather odd thing to say. I imagine you look rather bewildered right now. Perfectly understandable. The person who kidnapped you and threatened you with death is lecturing you about insects.
113	** With TheReveal that Zero is Sigma's future self, that line becomes even more HilariousInHindsight as it comes across as Zero snarkily implying that he doesn't actually ''understand'' the monologue and in fact thinks it's utter nonsense, he's just repeating what he heard back when he was on the other side of it because he has to in order to [[StableTimeLoop complete the loop]].
114	* There's something vindictively funny about jumping back to the beginning of the game and [[DungeonBypass completely skipping the first puzzle room entirely]] by virtue of already knowing the final password, especially if said rooms have given you trouble throughout the course of the game.
115	* There are some gems hidden in the secret files:
116	** Swimsuit:
117	--->"For some reason Sigma--[[SelfDeprecation or perhaps the author]]--seems to be unnaturally obsessed with swimsuits. Why is that? Was he involved in a horrible swimsuit accident (now repressed) in this youth? Did he have a crush in high school on a girl on the swim team who put her Olympic aspirations ahead of any possible romance? Is he just a perv? The world may never know. "
118	** Luminol:
119	--->"...a useful tool in criminal investigations, where it can reveal blood stains that have been cleaned up. Keep this in mind the next time you're contemplating how to deal with the neighbors listening to death metal at three in the morning."
120	** Floor A and Floor B:
121	--->"There's a rumor that the floors were actually named after [[Music/{{ABBA}} a particular Swedish pop-rock group from the seventies]], but everyone involved in this project has insisted that that is a vile and hurtful lie."
122	** The Secret of Quark's Hat:
123	--->"Don't you think his hat looks kind of weird? There's that huge band that just wraps around his head. Is he hiding a pair of [[Franchise/StarTrek Ferengi ears]], or maybe he's just a young [[Franchise/StarWars Lobot]]? Well, this is just between you and me, but he's got missiles in there. The sides of the hat are hiding those pods, like you see on helicopters on SAM sites. Except these missiles are tiny, and when he gets in trouble, both sides of the hat open up and they just fly out all at once like PSSSSHHHHHHHHHHH... Just kidding. Actually, he just keeps snacks in there."
124	* According to Uchikoshi in the Answers, SOIS' dress code is very loose for the purpose of making people ''not'' [[HiddenInPlainSight think they're members of a top-secret organization]], to the point where there are agents dressed up as Elvis, Lady Gaga, and even ''Captain America'', which explains why Junpei and friends came across Alice dressed as an Egyptian Priestess especially since they were partly chasing the mythical "All-Ice Alice" a few hours ago. This fact has not gone unnoticed by those whom actually know about the organization.
125	-->'''Uchikoshi''': The very few people that know of the organization are said to be teasing them by calling them "State Of [=InsanitieS=]", or that’s what I hear.
126	* Exploring B. Garden with Alice and Luna:
127	** Investigating a shed reveals lingering tensions between Sigma and Alice.[[note]]This is the timeline where Sigma picks ally against Alice while the latter picks betray.[[/note]] It is hard to tell if Luna really is so innocent that she believes Alice or if she's playing along.
128	--->'''Alice:''' Look, Luna, it's Sigma's house!\
129	'''Luna:''' Is that true, Sigma? Is this shed really your house? You must be going through a rough time.\
130	'''Sigma:''' ...
131	** The trio comes across a small vegetable garden. If you keep investigating the cucumbers:
132	--->'''Alice:''' Judging by their firmness, thickness and length, they all look like pretty good specimens.\
133	'''Sigma:''' [[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything Firm... Thick... Long...]]\
134	'''Sigma:''' Hey, you want one of these cucumbers, Alice?\
135	'''Alice:''' Really? Sure.\
136	'''Sigma:''' Cool, but... Can you, like... kind of slide it down your cleavage and then take a bite...?\
137	'''Alice:''' smacks him
138	* Before escaping the Q Room with Tenmyouji and Phi, Sigma begins his usual pre-unlock countdown. And then...
139	-->'''Sigma:''' Three... Two... One...\
140	'''Tenmyouji:''' Two... Three...\
141	'''Sigma:''' Stop that!!
142	* In Luna's ending, she reveals that the bracelets can be removed extremely easily simply by putting a bit of tinfoil in between it and your arm, which blocks it from detecting your heartbeat, therefore causing it to assume you died and fall off. Sigma's reaction is suitably dumbfounded. Keep in mind that one of the rooms in the ''first round'' used sheets of tinfoil for its puzzles, meaning everyone could have done this before playing even a single round of the AB Game, then escaped after getting a single bracelet to 9 BP. And no, Sigma never retains this information in other timelines. One has to wonder if Zero retained enough of a sense of humor after 45 years to ''intentionally'' design his bracelets to have such a WeaksauceWeakness and then give everyone easy access to said weakness right off the bat, knowing they'd never think to try it, [[ItAmusedMe just because he thought it'd be funny]].

Context Funny / VirtuesLastReward