Line #14 Funny/TrueLies


1	!!The film:
2	[[quoteright:350:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/0_true_lies_by_killb94_del7ork_9.png]]
3	[[caption-width-right:350:]]
4	* The opening:
5	** At one point, Harry asks a waiter (in Arabic) where the bathroom is. Subtitles translate this as, "Where's the bathroom? I need to take a major leak." Below that, a secondary subtitle that reads "([[FunWithSubtitles perfect Arabic]])".
6	** Another funny bit in the opening, when Faisil decrypts the files:
7	--->'''Faisil:''' Okay, files are unlocked. I'm in. I'm down, baby. I got my hand up her dress and I'm going for the gold-\
8	'''Gib:''' ''(interrupting)'' Just copy the goddamn files, okay?
9	** Harry plans to walk right out the front gate (Gib: "Ballsy. ''Stupid'', but ballsy."). When the guard asks for Harry's invitation:
10	---> '''Harry:''' Sure. Here's my invitation. ''(pushes a button, blowing up a bomb nearby that he planted earlier)''
11	** When fleeing the scene, Harry spots two nasty guard dogs chasing him. They leap for the kill -- and he promptly ''knocks their heads together'', leaving them too dazed to resume the chase. He even tells them, "Stay!" before he runs off.
12	* Where do we start with the shootout and first confrontation between Aziz and Harry?
13	** Aziz fires at Gib, whose only cover is a [[BehindAStick light post.]] He turns to hide behind it, and the bullets can clearly be seen striking both the post and the area around it, but somehow managed to miss Gib entirely despite the fact that he clearly sticks out from both the front and back.
14	*** Gib's reaction: He feels up and down his body to make sure he hasn't been hit anywhere, ending with his crotch, before muttering "Oh thank God..."
15	** When Harry finally beats the GiantMook in their bloody fistfight, he rubs salt in the wound by sticking the guy face first into a urinal and flushing, telling him to "cool off."
16	** The poor old man caught in the middle of the bathroom shootout.
17	** Their vehicles for the subsequent chase: Aziz's motorcycle vs. Harry's commandeered police horse.
18	---> '''Harry:''' Federal officer in pursuit of suspect! ''[[HeroStoleMyBike (shoves mounted police officer off her horse and mounts up)]]'' [[RunningGag Sorry.]]
19	** Aziz turns back to see if he's lost Harry, then does a double-take when he sees Harry riding a horse.
20	** When Harry gives directions to Gib to get back-up to catch Aziz:
21	---> '''Harry:''' All right, and make it happen quick because my horse is getting tired.\
22	'''Gib:''' ''({{beat}})'' [[FlatWhat Your horse?]]
23	** The moment in the elevator with the rich couple:
24	---> '''Woman:''' (gritted teeth) Say something!\
25	'''Man''': That's a fine animal!\
26	''(the horse whips its tail at the woman, who lets out a grossed-out "Yech!")''
27	** After the horse refuses to jump from one building to the next and Aziz escapes:
28	---> '''Harry:''' Now what the hell were you thinking? I mean, I had the guy, and you let him get away. ''(horse looks away; Harry pulls its head back)'' Look at me when I'm talking to you. What kind of a cop are you, anyway?
29	** By the way, that last scene merits a funny moment all its own. Aziz does a crazy stunt that involves leaping from skyscraper to skyscraper on his motorcycle. Harry tries to follow, but the horse just isn't having it, stops short, and dumps him out of the saddle. You can practically hear the horse thinking "are you CRAZY?!"
30	* Gib is one of the funniest sidekick characters ever in an action film.
31	--> '''Gib:''' Same thing happened to me with wife number two, remember? I have no idea nothing's going on, right? I come home one day and the house is empty, and I mean completely empty. She even took the ice cube trays out of the freezer. What kind of a sick bitch takes the ''ice cube'' trays out of the ''freezer?''
32	** Even funnier is this story comes at the end of Gib trying to make Harry feel ''better'' about his wife supposedly cheating on him.
33	--->'''Harry:''' (grabs Gib by his shirt) ''Will you '''stop''' cheering me '''up?!'''''
34	** Also funny is when they get back in the car:
35	---> '''Gib''': I say we concentrate on work. That's how I always got through it whenever my life turned to dogshit. We're gonna catch some terrorists, we're gonna beat the crap out of 'em, you're gonna feel a hell of a lot better.
36	* When Harry and Gib are listening to Simon bullshitting over the wiretap:
37	--> '''Simon''': It's the training. It shapes you into a lethal instrument. You react without thinking.\
38	'''Gib''': I'm starting to like this guy. (notices Harry's DeathGlare) Oh, we still gotta kill 'im. That's a given.
39	** Their reaction to Simon taking credit for Harry's shootout with Aziz at the mall. They can't believe the gall of it and even Harry admits it's ActuallyPrettyFunny that a con artist's lying to his wife about what her husband did.
40	* When Gib tries to hide a transcript detailing Helen meeting up with Simon, Harry yells "GIMME DAH GAHDDAMN PAGE!" and smashes a window with his fist. It's hilarious in its own right, but it's even funnier if you know the filming context like the striptease accident below: Arnold was supposed to hit a window rigged with safety glass, but broke a real window instead. Creator/TomArnold played it with the speechless reaction that the scene called for, but one would imagine part of it was also seeing his co-star breaking a car window for real with an OffhandBackhand.
41	* As the [[TranquilFury stone faced and silent]] Harry tails Helen's meeting with Simon, Gib just '''had''' to rub salt in his wounds from the side by quipping ''"If I were you and you were me you'd be laughing your ass off!"'' causing him to grip his binoculars ''so'' hard that the ''right lens '''cracks''''' the way the glasses of a Romantic Comedy Anime protagonist would spontaneously crack in jealous anger.
42	* Creator/JamesCameron: "Oh, yeah, she's got her head in the guy's lap all right. Yahoo."
43	--> '''Gib:''' Maybe she's sleepy.\
44	'''Harry''': ''(glares at him with a look of, "Shaddap.")''
45	* As pictured, Harry's attempt of a NightmareFace through the balaclava he's wearing during the raid on Simon's trailer.
46	** It shows up twice, hilarious both times. First, when Harry and the Omega Sector agents first show up and Harry finds [[NotWhatItLooksLike (what appears to be) Simon and Helen about to have sex]] and then later, when Helen [[ManBitesMan chomps down hard on his arm]] while he tries to carry her off.
47	** Another quick physical gag - while Helen puts up a fight, one agent hits her over the head with the butt of his rifle, resulting in Harry knocking said agent on his ass and immediately going back to trying to restrain her himself.
48	* While Harry grills his wife from behind the one-way glass, Gib keeps interjecting.
49	--> '''Harry''': Tell me about your husband, Mrs. Tasker.\
50	'''Helen''': Harry?? What can I say? I mean, he's a sales rep for a computer company.\
51	'''Gib''': So sex with him isn't exactly waving your flag anymore?\
52	'''Helen''': That is none of your goddamn business! Now what kind of questions are these?!\
53	'''Harry''': You're in a lot of trouble, Mrs. Tasker, so I suggest you cooperate. If we want to know the most intimate details about your life, you'd better tell us.\
54	'''Helen''': My husband is a good man.\
55	'''Gib''': But he's not exactly ringing your bell lately, right?\
56	(Harry covers the mic)\
57	'''Harry''': Let me handle this part, I mean, do you ''mind''?
58	* After being "recruited", Helen is told that her contact's name will be "Boris". She asks almost hopefully if her name will be [[WesternAnimation/RockyAndBullwinkle "Natasha"]] and has a deeply disappointed look on her face when told her nickname will instead be "Doris".
59	* The scene when Harry and Gib interrogate Simon over a large dam.
60	--> '''Gib''': You can drop it now, Carlos. The game is over. Your career as an international terrorist is too ''well'' documented.\
61	'''Simon''': No!\
62	'''Gib''': Oh yeah!\
63	'''Simon''': No!\
64	'''Gib''': Oh ''yeah''!
65	** Simon's confession in the same scene:
66	--> '''Simon''': I'm not a spy! I'm ''nothing''! I'm navel lint! I have to lie to women to get laid! And I don't score much. I've got a little dick, it's pathetic! ''(notices his PottyFailure)'' Would a spy ''pee himself'', huh?!
67	** Gib finally having enough of Simon annoying him and Harry, and starts casually shooting at his feet.
68	---> '''Gib''': (bored tone) Get lost, dipshit.
69	** What makes this funnier is that Gib has been shown to be a sort of bumbling sidekick next to the awesome that is Harry, but then he shoots at Simon and deliberately misses with such indifference you can tell he's really competent with a gun.
70	* Aziz fist pumping in celebration after apparently blowing up Harry with a rocket launcher.
71	* During the striptease scene, Harry has the taped dialogue asking Helen to dance. After she starts an out-of-place dance, the next message is "No no no, dance ''sexy''." Harry correctly predicted she would dance like a goofball and had pre-recorded dialogue to compensate for it. And even after that, the dance is pretty awkward, since Helen obviously has no training for this sort of thing. Which, of course, just makes it funnier, contrasting [[MsFanservice how sexy she is]] with the clumsy dance.
72	** And then she loses her grip on the bedpost and does a faceplant, [[ThrowItIn actually a genuine accident that was considered too hilarious not to use]]. Notice Arnold's reaction in the background.
73	** Harry's taped dialogue asking her to take off her stockings, much to her confusion, since she's not wearing any stockings, and never did for this scene (after taking off her dress, her entire outfit consists of BlackBraAndPanties and heels).
74	** Towards the end, Harry tries to be romantic, but Helen has no idea it's him and decks him with the phone. After kicking him a couple of times, she retains the presence of mind to complete her assigned mission, going back to plant the bug on the phone.
75	* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FAgZlwSGYE8 One of the terrorist mooks is filming Aziz making a speech about their jihad]] and the battery in the camera dies. The mook is terrified of what Aziz's reaction will be:
76	-->(mook nervously lowers the camera and Aziz stops, throwing his hands up in a "What gives?" motion)\
77	'''Mook:''' Battery, Aziz!\
78	(''There is dead silence as Aziz threateningly approaches him. And...'')\
79	'''Aziz:''' Get another one, you ''moron!''\
80	'''Mook''': I think I have one--\
81	'''Aziz''': Shh! (''raises a silencing hand and shoos him away in annoyance'')\
82	'''Mook''': ...in the truck. (''runs'')
83	* Harry's conversation with the torturer.
84	--> '''Samir:''' Is there anything you'd like to tell me before we start?\
85	'''Harry:''' Yeah; I'm going to kill you pretty soon.\
86	'''Samir:''' I see. [[TemptingFate How, exactly?]]\
87	'''Harry:''' First I'm going to use you as a human shield. Then I'm going to kill this guard over here with the Patterson trocar on the table. And then I was thinking about breaking your neck.\
88	'''Samir:''' And what makes you think you can do all that?\
89	'''Harry:''' You know my handcuffs?\
90	'''Samir:''' Mmmm-hmmm.\
91	'''Harry:''' ''(holds up his hands)'' [[BreakingTheBonds I picked them.]]\
92	''Cue OhCrap look on Samir's face right before Harry does [[PreemptiveDeclaration everything he just described.]]''
93	** And before that, when the TruthSerum is starting to take effect:
94	--->'''Helen:''' So how do we know if it's working?\
95	'''Harry:''' Ask me something I'd normally lie about.\
96	'''Helen:''' Are we going to die?\
97	'''Harry:''' [[BluntYes YEP.]]\
98	'''Helen:''' I'd say it's working.\
99	'''Harry:''' They're going to shoot us in the head, or they're going to torture us to death. Or they're going to leave us here until the bomb blows up.\
100	'''Helen:''' Harry!
101	* Helen's first experience with a MAC-10. The recoil makes her lose control and drop the gun down the stairs...and it continues to fire, miraculously taking out every {{Mook}} in the room.
102	** Topped by the look of impressed astonishment and stunned disbelief on Harry's face after he surveys Helen's handiwork.
103	** As Helen is readying to shoot, Harry is busy being choked by an even ''bigger'' mook; when Helen's dropped gun starts to spray fire everywhere, Harry ''and'' the mook stop their fight and run for cover. On top of that, several mooks come around the corner, see the falling gun, and [[AttackAttackRetreatRetreat immediately try to run back (and get shot doing so)]].
104	* The chase over the bridge; one of the harrier pilots, before firing at the bridge to take out Aziz's convoy and prevent them from reaching the mainland with the second nuke, asks if there is a danger that they might set off the warhead. Harry reassures the pilot that it won't go off... but then throws Gib a look as if to say, "How the hell do I know?!?"
105	** Ironically, [[ShownTheirWork this is one of the few times in a film that nuclear weapons being shot at is portrayed correctly]]. The engineering and science involved in just building a nuke mean that it will only go off in the way it is designed to. Burning it, shooting it, or detonating explosives next to it will not do the trick, and will in fact render the nuke a dud by damaging either the internal circuitry or the detonation mechanism itself.
106	** During the bridge chase, one of the terrorist vans breaks out their surface-to-air missile and two of the gunmen use it [[IdiotBall without realizing]] what the back-blast will do to the front of the van... [[IJustShotMarvinInTheFace and to another terrorist]] who gets blasted through the windshield.
107	** The second terrorist truck avoids getting blown up when the bridge gets taken out but is left precariously dangling over the edge. The driver and his surviving bad guys start laughing at their good fortune... only to watch a pelican [[OhCrap nonchalantly fly onto the dashboard]]. The weight differential is enough to tip the truck off the bridge[[note]]Relax, the pelican is able to fly away unharmed.[[/note]] and explode in the debris below. Basically: Death By Pelican.
108	* Juno's face when Helen decks Harry after he confessed he is a spy. She really enjoyed this moment!
109	** Speaking of Juno, her "Oh, ''shit''!" just moments before the limo drives off the bridge.
110	* The entire Harrier sequence in Miami is both awesome and comedic gold.
111	** A mook hears a loud jet noise, and he and his counterparts get ready, while he scans the surrounding area with binoculars. Suddenly a large grey shape rises up outside the window, and he focuses his binoculars to see a very pissed off Harry Tasker, piloting a Marine Corps Harrier jet. Said mook no doubt shits his pants, and everybody opens fire, only to immediately get diced by the Harrier's GAU-12 cannon.
112	** Aziz is chasing after Dana, and has her cornered on a rooftop crane. Suddenly she slips and falls, hanging on for dear life. As he closes in on her, the Harrier swoops in underneath. Aziz's dumbfounded reaction is priceless.
113	** Later, Aziz leaps onto the Harrier and wrestles with Harry for control of the jet. As the jet spins around in mid-air, it passes by a janitor cleaning a room in another part of the building, completely oblivious to what's going on. The jet ends up crashing tail first into said room, launching Aziz backwards, ''painfully'' landing crotchfirst on the jet's tailfin.
114	** Finally, Aziz gets hooked on the wingtip missile of the Harrier, and the remaining mooks are in a helicopter on the other side of the building, visible through the damaged floor that was shot up earlier. What does Harry do? Engage the master arm, lock on to the helicopter, and launch the missile, and Aziz, with it, but not before delivering an epic line:
115	---> "You're fired."
116	** Surpassed by Harry finishing him off in a wonderfully, ludicrously over-the-top manner. We'll let Creator/{{Seanbaby}} elaborate:
117	--->"Due to the nature of evil, bad guys aren't always aware they're the bad guys. But let's say the very last of your friends are in a helicopter, it's hovering in front of Arnold's final missile, and your body is dangling from that missile. As you rocket towards hilariously impossible circumstances it'll probably hit you that [[KarmicDeath shit like that]] never happens to the good guy."
118	* The final line in the movie during TheStinger, after Gib is annoyed that Harry and Helen ignored him over the earpiece while on a mission:
119	--> '''Gib''': Y'know what? I'm sick of being in the van. You're going in the van next time. I've been in the van for ''fifteen years'', Harry.
120
121	!!The video game:
122	* Whenever you shoot a civilian, the action briefly freezes as a text box pops up and Gib warns you: "For goodness sake, Harry, watch out for the taxpayers. This is an election year after all!" Do it again, and Gib further warns you: [[WhatTheHellHero "Harry, you hit ANOTHER civilian!"]] A third time: "Normally, a deranged psycho like you would be seen as an asset in a government agency. However, this is a highly public situation. The mission's a wash and you've blown your cover. Now you'll have to restart the mission."

Context Funny / TrueLies