Line #31 Funny/TropicThunder


1	* The fake trailers and ads at the start of the movie. Done well enough to make a theater audience momentarily think it's for real before going over-the-top in ridiculousness.
2	* The HighPressureBlood of the marine getting shot on the back of his head during the opening scene, Jeff stays in character while trying to help the man and hurries Kevin's character to be quick dead seriously (or as dead seriously as his acting range allows him) all the while the dead marine's head keeps pissing blood all over their faces. It gets even better when it looks as if Jeff is about to ''plug'' the spraying bullet wound with a small rock.
3	* When Kirk tells the others to cover him as he runs to save Tugg's character... everyone does it, ''including the helicopter pilot'' who pulls out his gun.
4	* The opening scene is all kinds of glamourized Vietnam War movie levels of epic... Until Tugg has trouble working up tears during the emotional bit, and Kirk is ''over''-emoting, at which Tugg breaks character and asks for some direction, causing unmitigated awkwardness as the scene keeps trying to continue properly: The camera isn't even rolling anymore, a boom mic drifts into view breaking Tugg's concentration, the supporting cast start slacking off in the helicopter rig in the background, Alpa takes a call on his cell, Jeff gets uncomfortable with his stunt harness, Kirk storms off to pee, and finally [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mhu2Ij0rWCQ Cody blows the spectacular napalm effects way too early.]]
5	-->'''Jeff:''' Hey, what's going on?! For real, my butt is hurting! This harness is riding up my crack!\
6	'''Kevin:''' Mr. Cockburn! Are we cutting?\
7	'''Damien:''' No! We're not cutting!\
8	'''Alpa:''' [''on his phone''] Hell no, I didn't pee on that girl! Look, what happened was she was in the way when I was peeing, and she walked past!\
9	'''Jeff:''' [''helplessly dangling and spinning in his stunt harness''] ''WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE?!''
10	* Kirk's line when he sees Tugg (in the parody of [[Film/{{Platoon}} Sgt. Elias death]]): "Survive!"
11	* Most of Kirk Lazarus' lines, which would be trite/offensive if he actually ''were'' a black guy, become hilarious because he ''isn't''. Some of the highlights include his speech when Alpa Chino says the n-word, the line "Everybody's gay once in awhile! This is Hollywood!" and the exchange:
12	-->'''Tugg:''' Enough from the peanut gallery, into the water, ladies!\
13	'''Kirk:''' No, no, no, man, lemme take a look at the map real quick.\
14	'''Tugg:''' Why is everybody obsessed with the map?\
15	'''Kirk:''' 'Cause we're tired of bein' your trail donkeys! Actin' like you some one-man GPS! [[SuddenlyShouting GOD DAMN IT!]] ''WE LOST!'' We fuckin' super lost, man!!! ''(turns to Kevin)'' Tell him, [=McClusky=], tell him what time it is!\
16	'''Tugg:''' I don't believe you people!\
17	'''Kirk:''' Hut! What do you mean 'you people'?\
18	'''Alpa:''' ... What do ''YOU'' mean, 'you people'?!?\
19	'''Kirk:''' Huh?!
20	** Kirk then distracts Tugg by asking him how he keeps in shape before snatching the map from him. Classic Lazarus.
21	--->'''Kirk:''' Any tips? Any tips you got? (''beat; snatches map from Tugg'') Gimme that goddamn map! FUCK YOU!
22	** Followed shortly by:
23	--->'''Tugg:''' We're supposed to be a unit.\
24	'''Kirk:''' ''Suck'' my unit.
25	** And [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X6WHBO_Qc-Q this one:]]
26	--->'''Tugg:''' There were times while I was doing ''Jack'' where I felt...\
27	[pause]\
28	'''Tugg:''' ...retarded. Like, really retarded.\
29	'''Kirk:''' Damn!\
30	'''Tugg:''' In a weird way, I had to sort of just free myself up to believe that it was okay to be stupid or dumb.\
31	'''Kirk:''' To be a moron\
32	'''Tugg:''' Yeah!\
33	'''Kirk:''' To be moronical.\
34	'''Tugg:''' Exactly, to be a moron.\
35	'''Kirk:''' An imbecile.\
36	'''Tugg:''' Yeah!\
37	'''Kirk:''' Like the dumbest motherfucker that ever lived.\
38	'''Tugg:''' (''pause'') When I was playing the character.\
39	'''Kirk:''' When you was the character.\
40	'''Tugg:''' Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, as Jack. Definitely.\
41	'''Kirk:''' Jack. Stupid-ass Jack.
42	** It's got to be when Kirk finishes off his conversation with Tugg with a hard-hitting realization and a quick Sage advice:
43	--->'''Kirk:''' You went ''full retard'', man. ''Never'' go [[InspirationallyDisadvantaged full retard]].
44	** Tugg apparently takes this advice to heart [[BrickJoke much later]], when he's captured by Flaming Dragon and forced to reenact ''Simple Jack'' for their entertainment.
45	--->''(Alpa and Lazarus watches Tugg perform a scene at gunpoint)''\
46	'''Alpa:''' Damn! I thought the movie was bad!\
47	'''Kirk:''' To the man's credit, he's actually eased up on the retard throttle. And now that's added a balance, and the audience can connect.
48	* There's this one:
49	-->'''Tugg:''' I killed one, Rick...the thing I love most in the world.\
50	'''Rick Peck:''' A hooker. Oh Jesus, you killed a hooker!
51	** Tugg tries to clarify that he killed a panda, but [[SustainedMisunderstanding Peck hears "Amanda" and replies that probably wasn't her real name]].
52	** Made better because Peck then immediately starts telling Speedman what to do to--something which involves [[DisposingOfABody "bleach" and "a shitload of lye."]]
53	* Early on in the movie, Jeff tries to do some heroin, but a bat swoops down and steals it, causing him to chase it down in a futile manner. He later winds up a sobbing wreck on the ground when it flies away.
54	-->'''Jeff:''' (As he chases the bat) No! No, that's my jelly beans! (Falls to the ground) No, shit...!\
55	'''Alpa:''' Yo man, I got a Bust A Nut.\
56	'''Jeff:''' ''You go to Hell!!''
57	* "Let's go. We only have sixteen hours before they wake up."
58	* Maria Menounos getting in a dig on ''Simple Jack'' during ''Access Hollywood''.
59	-->'''Tugg (in ''Simple Jack'' footage):''' You ma-ma-ma ma-ma-ma-ma-make me happy!\
60	'''Maria:''' But now the question is, can Speedman ma-ma-make audiences happy?
61	** Also, the interview with Creator/TyraBanks.
62	--->'''Tyra Banks:''' You have no real family. You're on the wrong side of forty, you're childless and alone. Someone close to you said "One more flop, and it's ''over''."\
63	''({{Beat}})''\
64	'''Tugg Speedman:''' [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Somebody said they were close to me?]]
65	* During the trailer for Kirk's movie, it mentions the actors accomplishments, stating how Kirk Lazarus has 5 Academy Awards, and Creator/TobeyMaguire has MTV's best kiss award from ''Film/SpiderMan1''.
66	** "I've been a bad, ''bad'' boy, Father."
67	** Considering the ''actual'' actors involved in the ''Satan's Alley'' trailer, it can easily come off as ComicBook/SpiderMan/ComicBook/IronMan slash fic.
68	* As hilarious as Kirk Lazarus is, the film's ''Crowning'' Funny Moment comes near the end of the final action scene: Tugg, escaping from the drug cartel with a toddler he tried to adopt hanging off his back ''repeatedly stabbing him with a knife'', finally gets fed up and ''throws the toddler off the bridge into the river'' (complete with a high-pitched version of the [[StockScream Wilhelm Scream]]), emphasized by the fantastic mid-air cartwheels he sent the kid into. The kid, amazingly enough, survives, too, and looks none the worse for wear (merely extremely pouty after emerging from the river) so you don't even have to feel bad about the horrific child abuse!
69	* Kirk Lazarus as Lincoln Osiris as a Peasant Farmer showing Tran exactly where his farm is.
70	-->'''Kirk:''' I'm a '''LEAD FARMER [[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch MOTHERFUCKER]]!'''
71	* Near the end, when Tugg is in shell shock, it cuts to Creator/JackBlack screaming, "MY ASS! MY ASS!"
72	* The entire movie was a Funny Moment, but special mention goes to [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KnRrvMYNUbI Les Grossman]].
73	-->'''Les:''' Oh, okay, Flaming Dragon. Fuckface. First, take take a big step back, and literally '''''[[SuddenlyShouting FUCK]]''''' '''[[SuddenlyShouting YOUR OWN FACE]]'''! Now, I don't know what kind of pan-Pacific bullshit power play you're trying to pull here, but Asia, Jack, is my territory, so whatever you're thinking, you better think again because otherwise I'm gonna have to head down there and I will rain down an ungodly fucking firestorm upon you! [[ClusterFBomb You're gonna have to call the fucking United Nations to get a fucking binding resolution to keep me from fucking destroying you! I am talking scorched earth, motherfucker! I will massacre you!]] '''''[[AtomicFBomb I WILL FUCK YOU UP!]]'''''
74	** Cut to Peck, [[AdmiringTheAbomination clearly impressed and taking mental notes.]]
75	** Prior to this, [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Rick mistakes Flaming Dragon's ransom offer as them being a rival agency trying to poach Speedman]].
76	** And after hanging up, he turns to one of his assistants and nonchalantly asks them "hey, could you find out who that was?".
77	** The stunned look on Tran's Dragon's face tops it off, as does the StunnedSilence on Flaming Dragon's end of the call after the rant.
78	** Also, the scene immediately after that, when Les and his assistant attempt to convince Peck to abandon Tugg by way of bribery through ''G-5 Aircraft'' and, uh, hip-grinding to the tune of Flo Rida's "Low".
79	--->'''Les:''' You paying attention? I'm talking... G-5, Pecker! That's how you can roll. No more frequent flyer bitch miles for my boy! Oh yeah! Playa! Playa! Big dick playa!\
80	'''Rob:''' Swinging past your knees!\
81	'''Les:''' Big dick, baby! ''(Turns off music)'' Or you can grow a conscience in the next five minutes and see where that takes you.\
82	'''Peck:''' LetMeGetThisStraight You want me to let my client of fifteen years, one of my best friends, die in the jungle alone for some money and a G-5?\
83	'''Les:''' [[BluntYes Yes]].\
84	'''Peck:''' ''({{Beat}})'' [[DoubleTake A G-5 airplane?]]\
85	'''Les:''' Yes. And ''lots'' of money. ''Playaaa...'' ''(Turns music back on)''\
86	'''Rob:''' Yeah! Smack it up, flip it, rub it down! Whoooaaa!
87	* The scene where Jeff is trying to have some of his heroin and Kevin comes up behind him.
88	-->'''Kevin:''' Hey Jeff, what are you doing?\
89	'''Jeff:''' FUCKING! Nothing, man, it's jelly, I'm eating Jelly Beans!\
90	'''Kevin:''' Ohhh..Wow I love Jelly Beans, can I have..?\
91	'''Jeff:''' NO, YOU CAN'T HAVE ANY FUCKING JELLY BEANS!! They're mine. You think you're the only one who gets sick when he doesn't have his Jelly Beans? Boundaries, man, fuck.
92	* "They're not jelly beans."
93	** "I know."
94	* The reveal where it turns out that Four Leaf actually has hands.
95	* Jeff tied up during the campfire scene, trying to convince the others to let him out so he can score more heroin.
96	-->'''Kevin:''' Jeff, you're just gonna have to tough it out.\
97	'''Jeff:''' '''''Your mother's a cankerous whore!!!''''' [{{Beat}}] [[MoodWhiplash Hey, remember way back when I said your mother was a cankerous whore? I'm sorry. I did not mean that.]]
98	** Even better, he tries to take advantage of ArmoredClosetGay Alpa.
99	--->'''Jeff:''' Alpa, if you untie me I will literally suck your dick right now.\
100	'''Alpa:''' I told you, for the last time, I love the pussy!\
101	'''Jeff:''' [[UnusualEuphemism I'll cradle the balls, stroke the shaft, work the pipe, and swallow the gravy.]] Get it over here, buddy, let's do this.
102	* "Yo, asshole, this motherfucker's dead!"
103	* Creator/RobertDowneyJr's in-character DVD commentary is ''priceless''. ("Remember when you told [Brandon Jackson] to slap me all Goddamn day, Ben? I remember. Like it was fuckin' yesterday.") He even switches to an Australian accent when Kirk has an identity crisis and realizes he is not any of his characters.
104	* "He ain't playing God! He being judged by Him."
105	** And before that, Cockburn's RousingSpeech and BlasphemousBoast ("The chopper is God! And I am Jesus Christ, His son! And you are my chosen disciples!") is funny in a BlackComedy sort of way, considering [[LudicrousGibs what happens to him]] IMMEDIATELY afterward...
106	** "[[LandMineGoesClick Oh..]]"
107	** Afterwards:
108	--->'''Tugg:''' Not bad Cockburn! Wherever you are!\
109	'''Kirk:''' [[ChunkySalsaRule I think he's all over the place.]]
110	* When the Flaming Dragon scouts find the group of actors just after Cockburn has stepped on a landmine, they report them as "a heavily armed American force." Nevertheless, they get ready to kill them...only to keep watching as Tugg nonchalantly sticks Cockburn's severed head on the end of his rifle, turn towards the scouts' position (inadvertently), and flaunt Cockburn's death. The head scout reports in a tone of complete and serious astonishment:
111	-->'''Scout:''' They have no fear of death.
112	* Kirk attempting to convince Tugg of his true identity:
113	-->'''Kirk:''' Now you gonna focus up, motherfucker, and say it! "It's me, Tugg!"\
114	'''Tugg:''' It's me, Tugg.\
115	'''Kirk:''' That's right! Now Tugg who?!\
116	'''Tugg:''' Tugg who? I don't know. Who are you?\
117	'''Kirk:''' Me?! '''I KNOW WHO I AM'''! I'm a dude playin' the dude disguised as another dude! You a dude that don't know what dude he is!\
118	'''Tugg:''' Or are you the dude who has no idea what dude he is and claims to know what dude he is by playing other dudes?
119	** Kirk's intensely confused expression after that last line.
120	** After Kirk is back to normal near the end of the scene, all they have to do next is get through to Tugg. Kevin asks if Tugg is with them, and his response?
121	--->'''Tugg:''' I'm a rooster illusion.\
122	'''Kevin:''' (''{{Beat}}''). [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere Fuck it.]]
123	* "WHAT YOU GETTIN' AT WITH THE BOOK-SCRIPT?! SPIT THAT SHIT OUT, MAN!"
124	** His incredibly pleased-with-himself little smile after delivering that line just makes it.
125	* This exchange between Kirk and Alpa Chino:
126	-->'''Alpa:''' Why am I in this movie? Maybe it's because I knew I had to represent. They had one good role for a black man, and they gave it to Film/CrocodileDundee!\
127	'''Kirk:''' (''[[BerserkButton stops smiling]]'') Pump your brakes, kid. That man's a national treasure.\
128	'''Alpa:''' I just wanna throw another shrimp on your barbie.\
129	'''Kirk:''' That shit ain't funny.\
130	'''Alpa:''' I'm just messin' with you, Film/KangarooJack. [[Film/EvilAngels I'm so sorry a dingo ate your baby!]]\
131	'''Kirk:''' Y'know, that's a true story? Lady lost her kid. You 'bout to cross some fuckin' lines!
132	* "You're Australian! Be Australian!"
133	* The last time the running gag of all the characters surprise at Four Leaf actually having hands culminates in Jeff asking him if he grew his hands back.
134	* [[DeusExMachina Peck saving the day]] by delivering a [=TiVo=] as promised. The way he escapes by running unnaturally quickly away is nothing short of hilarious.
135	-->'''Sandusky:''' [[FlatWhat What the fuck?]]
136	* From the ''Rain of Madness'' documentary: Kirk is informed that his mother has passed away, and he's talking about his mom when Cockburn comes up behind him and generally starts goofing off. Cockburn finally goes too far and puts his hands on Kirk's neck, causing Kirk to jump up and grab Cockburn before proceeding to punch him, make him sit down in his chair and say goodbye to his (Kirk's) mother. Take note that Kirk is still in-character as Lincoln Osiris while this is happening.
137	* When Les Grossman has a video conference with Damien, and is very displeased about the delays and screw-ups.
138	-->'''Grossman:''' And who here is the key grip?\
139	[''A '''large''' man raises his hand nervously'']\
140	'''Grossman:''' You? You! Hit that director in the face, really fucking hard!\
141	'''Key Grip:''' [''Calmly walks up to Damien''] [[ApologeticAttacker Sorry, man.]] [''Delivers a single epic punch to Damien's nose'']\
142	'''Damien:''' Ow, ow, ow!\
143	'''Grossman:''' This is all your fault, ''you limey FUCK!'' You shit the money bed, my friend!
144	* The dialogue in the FakeActionPrologue which is so cheesy it's a wonder the book became a movie.
145	* During the climax, after the truck carrying the heroes is blasted with an RPG, we get an abrupt cut to Cody setting up his explosives, and he's just done with everything.
146	-->'''Cody:''' [''Sees explosion in the distance''] Oh my god, I am moving to catering after this!
147	* When Kirk runs to Tugg in a CallBack to the opening of the fake movie and forgets they are not actually soldiers or armed.
148	-->'''Kirk:''' Cover me!\
149	'''Kevin:''' How do we cover him?
150	* At the end of the movie, when Tugg wins the "Best Actor" Oscar, the look on Creator/JonVoight's face (and what he's obviously saying under the crowd noise) is a gem.
151	** It's easy to miss, but when Kirk is about to announce the winner all the nominees are pictured behind him, and to the upper left we see that Creator/TomHanks is nominated for what appears to be a very Oscar-baity movie where he plays a wheelchair-bound athlete.
152	* When Alpa accidentally outs himself to the guys at the campfire:
153	-->'''Kirk:''' When you wrote 'I Love Tha Pussy,' was you thinking about danglin' your dice on Lance's forehead?
154	* One that's easy to miss: Cody lost a finger during the filming of ''Film/DrivingMissDaisy''. How the--?
155	** He also nearly '''blinded''' Creator/JamieLeeCurtis...[[EpicFail on the set of]] ''Film/FreakyFriday2003''. How he did so is one thing, but it also brings up another question - why did they need a '''pyrotechnics controller''' on the set of ''Freaky Friday''?
156	* When the guerillas are shooting at the actors, Tugg charges forward, screaming and baring his chest while he shoots blanks. Alpa Chino tops that by dancing while he shoots. Anyone with half a brain would know how insanely stupid it would be to do that in real life.

Context Funny / TropicThunder