Line #14 Funny/TomorrowNeverDies


1	[[quoteright:350:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/grow_up_007.png]]
2	[[caption-width-right:350:Oh, ''grow up,'' [[{{Manchild}} 007!]]]]
3
4	* During the pre-credits gambit, Bond steals a jet with nuclear missiles attached, just in the nick of time, as the black market he steals it from was set to be destroyed by a missile. When he's up in the air, the original pilot, whom he knocked out earlier, wakes up and attempts to garrote Bond. As he's doing this, Bond's continuing to dodge missiles and maneuvering the jet. To kill two birds with one stone, Bond positions the jet under the enemy and activates the ejector seat for the pilot, sending him up and crashing through the bottom of the enemy jet like a jack-in-the-box, then the jet veers off and promptly explodes.
5	-->'''Bond:''' Backseat driver...
6	* The beautifully snarky quip at the end of the pre-credits sequence.
7	-->'''Bond:''' I’ve evacuated the area. Ask the admiral ''where'' he wants his bombs delivered.
8	* Elliott Carver is properly introduced videoconferencing with his bureaus around the world. While this helps [[EstablishingCharacterMoment set up]] how horribly evil he is, he still manages to pull a case of him being a jerk into very morbid BlackComedy.
9	-->'''Elliot Carver:''' Good morning, my golden retrievers! What kind of havoc shall the Carver Media Group create in the world today? News?\
10	'''Newsman:''' Floods in Pakistan, riots in Paris, and a plane crash in California.\
11	'''Elliot Carver:''' Excellent! Mr. Jones, are we ready to release our new software?\
12	'''Jones:''' Yes, sir. As requested, it's full of bugs, which means people will be forced to upgrade for years.\
13	'''Elliot Carver:''' Outstanding! Mr. Wallace, call the President. Tell him if he doesn't sign the bill lowering the cable rates, we will release the video of him with the cheerleader in the Chicago motel room.\
14	'''[[CreatorCameo Tom Wallace]]''': Inspired, sir.\
15	'''Elliot Carver''': [[MortonsFork And after he signs the bill, release the tape anyway.]]\
16	'''Tom Wallace:''' Consider him slimed.
17	** Mr. Wallace is played by Bond producer Michael Wilson, in his obligatory CreatorCameo.
18	* Moneypenny has been on the phone to Bond, while Bond is in the middle of having sex. She gets him to acknowledge that the situation is urgent enough to justify speedy sex, if not to abort it entirely, then hangs up, turns around and sees M standing there.
19	-->'''Moneypenny:''' Don't ask.\
20	'''M:''' Don't tell.
21	** "You always were a [[DoubleEntendre cunning linguist,]] James..."
22	** Bond becomes uncomfortable when he learns that M and Moneypenny know all about his past sexual encounters. "I didn't know that was public knowledge."
23	* [[https://youtu.be/_eEt51wWhNY?t=0m35s Q gives Bond]] ''literal'' HeroInsurance for his car!
24	-->'''Q:''' Will you need collision coverage?\
25	'''James Bond:''' Yes.\
26	'''Q:''' ''[stares at Bond]'' Fire?\
27	'''James Bond:''' Probably.\
28	'''Q:''' Property destruction?\
29	'''James Bond:''' [[KungShui Definitely.]]\
30	'''Q:''' Personal Injury?\
31	'''James Bond:''' I hope not, but accidents do happen.\
32	'''Q:''' They frequently do with you.\
33	'''James Bond:''' ''[signs the form]'' Well, that takes care of the "normal" wear and tear. Is there any other protection I need?\
34	'''Q:''' Only from ''me'', 007, unless you [[TemptingFate bring that car back in pristine order.]]
35	* Q explaining Bond's phone.
36	-->'''Q:''' Talk here. Listen here.\
37	'''Bond:''' [[CaptainObvious So that's what I've been doing wrong all these years.]]
38	* Q's choice of voice for the car's onboard AI:
39	-->'''Q:''' I thought you'd pay more attention to a female voice.\
40	'''Bond:''' [[TheCasanova I think we've met!]]\
41	'''Q:''' I am not interested in your sordid escapades. Let's get on with it, shall we?
42	** Aaand then we see the car itself.
43	*** When the car stops in front of Q and Bond, its engine almost makes a satisfied purring sound! Clearly Bond's sex appeal isn't limited to human females as the car does indeed [[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything respond positively to his touch]].
44	*** With regards to his "bossy" car, Bond later tells the valet at Carver's party, "Don't let her push you around."
45	** In deleted footage from this scene, Q opens a crate with a jaguar inside before getting to Bond's new car.
46	--->'''Bond:''' Jaguar?\
47	'''Q:''' Wrong assignment.
48	* The newscaster who reports on the disaster at Carver's initial broadcast being knocked off the air seems to be enjoying Carver's humiliation:
49	-->"And in a rather embarrassing note, scrappy media mogul Elliott Carver was cut off the air tonight in mid-speech during the inaugural broadcast of his worldwide satellite network. ''[laughs]'' Sorry Elliott, but...we didn't do it."
50	* The expression on Bond's face when he's being chased by SMG-toting guards, and he sees Wai Lin waving at him as he draws off the men who'd normally be chasing after her.
51	** When he first encounters her in the building:
52	--->'''Bond:''' Looking for a news story?
53	** During his escape, Bond pushes and breaks the $300 million dollar satellite. Tactically, he's doing it to slow down the henchmen that are chasing him, but you really get the sense that Bond heard the price and immediately knew that he was going to destroy it just to be a dick to Carver.
54	** At one point in the chase, Bond punches a henchman off a catwalk, and he falls into a printing press. Cue the press turning out newspapers stained with blood.
55	--->'''James Bond:''' "[[BondOneLiner They'll print anything these days]]."
56	*** It's inferred that the henchman is mangled in the machinery yet a keen eye can spot [[SpecialEffectsFailure his body lying in the pit, motionless but otherwise intact]].
57	* When Stamper's henchmen try to break into Bond's car, sledgehammers bounce off its armor and jamming things in the handles and gaps electrocutes them. As a result, they call Stamper, who calls Dr. Kaufman - who has just finished spelling out how he's going to kill Bond to make it look like he killed Paris in a murder-suicide - and orders him to torture Bond into unlocking it.
58	-->'''Dr. Kaufman:''' This is ''very'' embarrassing. It seems there is a red box in your car. They can't get to it. ''[[ICantBelieveImSayingThis They want me to make you unlock the car]].'' I feel like an idiot. I don't know what to say.
59	** The nonchalant shrug and smirk Bond gives at this point makes one think he knows how the next ten minutes are going to go, as the majority of his Q gadgets for this film involve said car. Starting with how it's unlocked - his gadget-laden cell-phone. Instead of telling Kaufman the code to unlock the car, Bond tells him the code which activates [[ChekhovsGun the built-in taser]].
60	** ...aaand segue into the big ChaseScene, [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qKAME9fAA-4 with Bond controlling the car via his cell-phone the entire time.]] The on-board voice provides a lot of humor to the situation:
61	*** "Welcome. Please fasten seat belt." Said as Bond has just remotely opened one of the rear windows and dived into the backseat.
62	*** "Warning. Unsafe driving will void warranty." Said as Bond is smashing through barricades and swerving around explosions.
63	*** "Reduce speed. Pedestrians in roadway." The "pedestrians" are Carver's goons who are trying to kill Bond.
64	*** "Obstruction ahead. Reduce speed ''now.''" This is the only advice Bond even ''partially'' listens to, specifically because the "obstruction" is a door that somehow shrugs off the car's built-in rockets.
65	** Bond's reaction to the re-inflating tires seems to suggest that he is well aware of how utterly kick-ass this whole thing is.
66	** Bond has an OhCrap moment when a goon is about to shoot his car with a rocket-propelled grenade... But then, because the BMW already has its windscreen and rear window broken, the grenade passes cleanly through his car, exploding instead at the chase car behind the BMW. Bond's face pretty much says this: "Well, that works, too." Added to this is the hilarious OhCrap look on the goon's face as he sees Bond is still coming right at him and dives for cover.
67	** The look of unabashed glee on Bond's face as his BMW flies through the air and crash-lands into an Avis office, the same company he supposedly rented it from.
68	*** "Congratulations on [[BlatantLies a safe journey]]!"
69	*** There's a deleted scene where a group of rubberneckers have crowded around the crashed car. Bond walks through them and tells the Avis agents that the keys are still in the car.
70	* When Bond and Wade are getting the stolen GPS encoder checked out, Bond and Wade share a silent look about their chosen attire (Bond is dressed as a formal military officer, Wade is in casual attire wearing a Hawaiian shirt). Wade lamely straightens his shirt in an effort to make himself look better.
71	* The OhCrap reaction of Wade and the U.S. military personnel when they realize the area Bond's jumping into isn't Chinese territory... [[FromBadToWorse it's Vietnamese.]]
72	--> '''Dr. Greenwalt:''' Does he have any U.S. government markings on him?\
73	'''Master Sergeant:''' The parachute, the wet suit, the ''fins!''\
74	'''Dr. Greenwalt:''' Jesus, if the Vietnamese catch him, they're gonna go crazy!\
75	'''Wade:''' ''[as he watches Bond jump]'' ...He didn't even say goodbye!
76	* Stamper speaks glowingly about Dr. Kaufman and his work with the worst kind of torture imaginable, as though he were a great humanitarian.
77	** After Carver elaborates on how Bond will be tortured, Bond's witty reply is, "I would have thought watching your TV shows was torture enough." [[ActuallyPrettyFunny Wai Lin is barely able to conceal a chuckle]].
78	* Bond and Wai Lin squabbling over who gets to drive the motorcycle as they're escaping from Carver's mooks. For the "suave" Bond, Creator/PierceBrosnan really know how to do hilariously bitchy arguing well.
79	** Before shooting the scene, the director pulled the actors aside without the other knowing and told them [[EnforcedMethodActing to not let the other get in front under any circumstances]].
80	** Before that, they end up hanging from a pair of cables and handcuffed together. They break through an office window, and as the workers presumably ask them what's going on, hold hands, put on fake smiles, and nonchalantly stroll out.
81	** Later in the chase, they do a roof hop with their motorcycle over the helicopter, crashing through an apartment where a couple is having sex. The copulating couple pause, momentarily distracted, then once Bond and Wai Lin drive out, the woman resumes riding the man like nothing happened.
82	* Bond's suggestion that he write to the British and Chinese governments informing them of Carver's plans wins him an amused grin from Wai Lin when he sees that the computer terminal in the hidden armory is all in Chinese characters; he lets her do the typing.
83	* When he inadvertently fiddles with the various gadgets stashed within Wai Lin's safehouse, many of them similar in nature to Q branch's many inventions, and yet Bond is somehow caught off guard by each one of them. He seems more amused than shocked by a couple of them, even cracking a pun at one or two, but when he [[KillItWithFire accidentally sets off a flamethrower]] mounted in a dragon's head, he actually yelps in shock.
84	-->'''Bond:''' ''[chuckling nervously]'' Very novel!
85	* Carver making fun of Wai Lin's martial-arts skills with some FunnyBruceLeeNoises, even getting a fairly decent high-kick in. [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2jGNxTyVH7c Just watch.]]
86	* Carver finds out that Stamper has (yet again) failed to kill Bond.
87	-->'''Carver:''' So much for [[GermanicEfficiency German efficiency]].
88	* The SnarkToSnarkCombat after Bond and Wai Lin are captured and taken to Carver's new Vietnam bureau.
89	-->'''James Bond:''' I never believe what I read in the press anyway.\
90	'''Elliot Carver:''' Therein lies your problem, Mr. Bond. You see, we're both men of action, but your era and Miss Lin's is passing. Words are the new weapons, satellites the new artillery.\
91	'''James Bond:''' And you become the new Supreme Allied Commander?\
92	'''Elliot Carver:''' Exactly! Caesar had his legions, Napoleon had his armies, I have my divisions. TV, news, magazines. And by midnight I'll have reached and influenced more people than anyone in the history of this planet, save God Himself. And the best He ever managed was the Sermon on the Mount.\
93	'''James Bond:''' You really are quite insane.\
94	'''Elliot Carver:''' The distance between insanity and genius is measured only by success.
95	* Wai Lin is essentially a Chinese, [[DistaffCounterpart female version]] of Bond which implies she regularly goes on madcap adventures where she ends up banging various [[BondGirl Wai...Boys]]? with {{punny\|name}} PornNames. Somewhere in China, there's a female version of Q, an older male version of M, and a male secretary she refuses to bang but constantly flirts with.
96	!!Meta
97	* The film got its title from '''a typo''' in a fax sent to MGM. Originally, the film had the WorkingTitle of ''Tomorrow Never Lies'', but studio execs found the error much more appealing and insisted on using it.

Context Funny / TomorrowNeverDies